Toni and Ryan - Ryan Has Been Scammed

Episode Date: October 20, 2026

Fuck marry kill - Opposite of an ick part 2 - How to fix your sleep- love ya!!!!!What's your fuck marry kill answer? Fonts - https://www.instagram.com/reels/DdhooqjTVDg/Don't Forget To Join Patreon As a Champion TARPer By Nov 1 to Get The Calendar!! patreon.com/ToniandRyanTell us what you reckon in the episode thread in our FACEBOOK GROUPWatch and subscribe on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan and get in the group chat with us!!!Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I've actually got a warning for everyone because I've been scammed. Mate. Yeah. And it said, look, we've got a couple of different products and services available. Oh, sure. Why don't you do this quick two-minute quiz? Oh. Hi, I am Rebecca from lowest of UK.

Hi, this is Will from Atlanta, Georgia. Hi, I'm Kaylee from Canberra, Australia. And I approve this podcast. Welcome to the Tony Rhyme podcast. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge. What's up, Slots. And my name is Ryan. That's Ryan.

Coming up today, I've actually got a warning for everyone because I've been scammed. Mate. Yeah. And I... Have I told you about this one, Charles? Do you know what? The most likely to be scammed is the elderly. Yeah.

And sometimes you get scammed and you get pissed off. Yeah. And I actually got got, and I was like, you've actually done well there. Like, game respects game. Okay. Have my, like, and because it was a small amount, but I still felt this thing. But I was like, you know what? You read me like a fucking book there.

And you know what? You've seen me coming. You've seen me coming and you can have me $4.99 because well played. Yeah, well, this might roll you up as well. I've got something here. And I think that, I don't know, Charles, can you hit play, please? We're doing fuck, merry, kill, Helvetica Times New Roman. No, turn it off.

Controversial, but I'm going to fuck Times New Roman. It would kill Helvetica. Get the fuck out! Who the fuck she? I'm going to marry Comic Sans. Who the fuck is she? Um, she is called Angela Freya, A-N-J-E-L-A-F-R-E-Y-J-A on Instagram. It's actually a beautiful name.

Um, she... It's actually a great idea for content too, by the way. Yeah, it is. It is. And you know what? I thought that you would like that. I found that and was like, Ronald liked that. Well, you know, you'll like the concept.

You bought me a book about Helvetica and now you're triggering me by sending me content about how it should be not shagged or married. So she said that she would fuck times new Roman. Yep. She would kill. Hell Vettica because she thought that she would get tired of how trendy it was. She said how much... She's jealous.

So she was like, how much can I listen to about New Solomon shoe drop and, you know, things like that? And then she said that she would marry Comic Sans because it seems like a little bit of fun. It's not. It's lying. I think, and my answer is, I would marry Helvetica. Correct answer. I would fuck Comic Sans because it feels like it could be a bit of fun. And I think I would kill Times New Roman.

I could do with that Times New Roman. Comic Sans, like, is it a hit it and quit it? Just so you say you did? You know what I mean? Because marrying, I'm like, dude. Nah, oh, no, you're not having that fucking monstrosity in your life every day. But how funny to be like you see Comic Sans random in the future and go, you know a crazy story back in college?

I fuck that. Yeah, I fucked Comic Sans. Yeah. I also think I would interchangeably kill Comic Sans and fuck Times New Roman because Times New Roman to me feels like a distinguished older guy. A classic. Missionary, but knew how it was done. Like, I've fucked this like, you know,

Silver Fox kind of guy. Who's there someone in society that it'd be fun to say and fun to do? I fuck them back in the day. But you would definitely, like, not marry them. Oh, oh, I had an answer. Now it's gone because I would marry them. Was your answer also Hillary Duff?

It was actually childish Gambino. Yeah, you marry him. It's like one of those people that you'd be like, you wouldn't believe it, but I, I've made out with him at a party or, you know. Yeah, no, he's too good. But I would marry him because I think he's absolutely wonderful. Great father. Great father. The one I was going to say, I'm actually come back around to them.

But I was going to say Paris Hilton. Oh, no, she's excellent. That's what I mean. Yeah. She's great. But there was a period there we'd be like, well, no, but I think I like her now. But now that we've come out and it's just like, she was like, I was playing a character. I'm all like, you had us all fooled.

Yeah. I, again, it's not that I wouldn't not marry them necessarily, but like just any famous person to be able to be like, I kiss them at a party or this thing happened. I would not do either. I don't think, I don't think I would hook up with her and I don't think I'd marry her. I would love to say that I passed Nat Bar at a party in Bunbury. Oh, in Bunbury.

Yeah. Oh, G days. We went to school together. I passed her at school. And we went to Fitsies. Yep. And I totally patched her back in the day. No, that's a great story.

And then every time Channel 7 came around in the morning, you'd be like, yeah. Yeah. That's a good one. Have you, have you passed any celebs that you'll, and you don't have to necessarily say who they were if you want to, but is there anybody that you're like,

can you close your ears for a second? Yeah. Does Tony Lodge count as a celebrity? Yeah. I've got her up. Charles has confirmed the person he's a celebrity. Oh, who is it? Yes.

look in that screen and tell me who you see there she is do you know the first person that came to my mind just then Steve Irwin and I thought that would be a great story what would your answer be sorry just to lock it in for the folks at home fuck marry kill

I think how Vedic is my right or die I think you've got to marry them yeah because that makes you don't just have to fuck them you can make sweet sweet love to them yeah but I think it's just I'm in for the long haul, you know, like.

The long haul, Vittaker. As they say. And then I think for reasons just discussed, comic sands, maybe a fling. And fuck off Times New Roman. Because who cares? I've got Ariel if I need you. So true. The little mermaid he means.

Oh, maybe she was my celebrity. Why? You have not patched Ariel. She would never. She's so beautiful. Who's the most famous person I've passed? I don't think I've patched anyone famous. Isn't that really depressing?

I've got one, but it can't go. It actually can't go in the pod. Oh, same actually. Go. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Your passionate party. I think the most famous person I've ever hooked up would have been. Oh, hot. That's a great answer. Not for the pod. No. Just laugh. Yeah.

Too awesome. I reckon you can leave that in. Just beep and blur the names. Yeah. Thanks. beep and blurred, that's fine. We've got to go patch some celebs before we get locked into a long-term relationships. I know.

Imagine if I'm married and I haven't patched that many famous people. I know. What are we going to do? Do you think that people you've hooked up with now go, I bash you at a party? Like they see your videos on Instagram or something. Oh my God, I hooked up with him in high school order.

No, I'd be. People are not saying that about. I'm not getting to that. That's not me. No way. Because we're saying like how fun. But I think people would go, Oh, you know that funny chick on TikTok with the podcast?

Yeah, that guy tried to finger me once. That other guy in those videos. And he was awful. You know the spear? Yeah. Charles? Yeah. Now, I don't think anybody would brag about kissing me.

And that's actually fine. But you know how when you go like, oh, didn't you go to Wopper? Or, oh, didn't you grow up in Rale? Some people go, no, I don't know where. Like, I think that they're just like, no, it's fine. And that's so fine. Yeah, I don't think anyone's claiming me. Me either.

And that's why we're here to get. In fact, I'd probably blocked by a few, to be fair. Well, you probably got blocked by the chick that you dumped by poking on Facebook Messenger. Laura, she was lovely. Poor Laura. Yeah. I thought about her the other day. Pull one out for Laura.

Yeah. Oh, no, someone that would claim me would be the girl in Mildura who in the morning said, I can't believe I fuck the guy from Star FM. Yeah. That's such a great story. Yeah. But also, if your celebrity claim to fame is I fuck the guy from Star FM, Mildura, like, you know. Bottom of the barrel stuff.

Yeah, I've heard him. I've heard him on the TikTok. I can't. And she was looking at herself in the mirror when she said it. I can't believe I fuck the guy from Star FM. I can't believe I fuck the guy from Star FM. And I was like, for those listening along at home, Tony's just done the universal sign of I just sucked a dick. Yeah.

Yeah. I was looking like me. Well, somebody did that to Charles the other day. They said that they saw us in the, saw him in the videos and I like, oh, Charles just saw you in the Tony Wright videos. Not someone I had hooked up with though Who was it? Someone that wanted to hook up with you. Wasn't it?

I can't remember who this was. Me either, but I just feel like that happened recently. Do they work at Kinso? That's a shame. Oh, it's not Lulu because she knows where Charles lives. Yeah. Works. Maybe both.

Anyway, did you like that video? No. No, but you liked it. That's good. Yeah, you did. I hated it. I've never yelled at a video before until today. Last week you brought up the concept of what is the opposite of an ick

Because you said that you found out that Tobs used to have the good Nokia And that got you going Well Tarpas have said here's some things that I guess I just didn't see coming They just don't really mean anything but you go ooh Well even they're like I didn't know I was into this until I saw it Yes Now Groot beer that's their name on YouTube

Great I think they might be a nurse Sure I thought you're about deciding they might be a nerd. And I was like, I don't think that's relevant. I think Group beer 94 might be a fucking loser. No,

take that back. No, when you, they're not, trust me. My now husband was a bull rider. And I thought it was so hot, like a cowboy doing rodeos.

Yeah, okay. He came into work one day after a rodeo because he had to show me his chest that had this massive bruise from a kick he received the night prior. So he's coming to, that's why I'm like, I think they're a nurse because they came into the room and were like, I don't think they went into the video easy and went like, what do you reckon about this bruise?

You haven't seen me at a video easy. Your video very easy. And so he was like, oh, I need you to look at this bruise. What do you think? And group beer just goes, get in my bed. Yeah, no, that's fair. And also, because the riding obviously is a little bit sexy and phallic, but also just being like, kind of fearless.

That is so scary. Man, Le Land. Tough. Do the forearms on a bull rider, you know? You know, I don't know. Groot beer said he doesn't ride bulls anymore, but he still rides me. Hot. But think of the physical attributes of a bull rider.

The core strength. The core strength, the big quads, the strong hands, the fearlessness. And then think of them just looking you up and down and going, fucking you're going to get it. Little Groot beer, Tony Lodge. Just blacked out for a second. Yeah. Yeah, nice. I know nothing comic sands about this one.

Bit different to the phone, Torbsad. Kinky Tep. Hi, Kinky Tep. Kinky Pep. My husband can do the cherry stem thing. Didn't think I thought that was cool until he did it. That is hot. Remember when I tried to do that in Fiji and then the waiter came over and I had like,

yeah. Like a fucking cat with a fur ball. Bha. Alah, Ashley. Can you do that? No. I wouldn't even know how to go about it. You can, can you do that with the snake?

I can, yeah. I can do it with a snake. The cherry stem is just a bit too small. I think I've got a like thicky tongue. We do your best work with a thicky in your gob. It's so very true. Cold ghost. Thanks about feedback.

Ashley Boyce. Hi, Ashley. Loves to suck boys off. My husband's a chef and watching him cut things quickly without looking is terrifying, exhilarating. and extremely attractive. That's a very good one. I watch like a lot of cooking videos on YouTube and stuff.

Yeah. And the ASMR of someone Holden and cutting and steaming so what I don't know. Speaking of Holden, I saw Frankie J. Holden out of service station the other day. Who's that? Great story, glad I told it. Who's Frankie J. Holden? Just someone that your mum would have loved off the TV. Oh, I don't think of ever.

even heard the name. Charles, can you get him up? I don't know who that is. Oh, was he in fucking, um... Yes, because he's one of those Australians. Like all saints or something. Probably, and he probably also hosted the great outdoors. He was him round the twist. Round the twist.

Oh, who is he in round the twist? Was he Tony, the dad? It's not clear. I think he started himself in it. Okay, great. Oh, so he made a cameo. Oh, yeah, it's a caravan park. Where is it?

We can stay there. Oh, he doesn't own it anymore. Oh, sorry about that. Oh, I forgot that I did this. You forgot that you saw Pranky J. Holden at the service station. No. Tarynx. Tell it again.

Taran Senko. Hi, Tarynenko. My ex used to take my glasses off, clean them for me, then lovingly put them back on my face. That's very sweet. So last night, and I think I recorded the audio of this, but forgot about it. because I went terribly. But then last night I hit record on my phone, put it next to bridge,

and then I was like, I'll do this. She didn't like it. It's really not nice having people take your glasses off and put them on your face when you're not expecting it. So when I took them off, she was like,

what are you doing? And then... Maybe she thought you were going to kiss her. Like, take them off and then give her, like, lay one on them? Well, I took them off and it was sort of like, what are you doing? And then I got a tissue inside of, like, wiping them.

A tissue. Well, it was going to use my own. shirt and then I was like that's probably too dirty well she kind of saw that and was like she goes oh are they a bit foggy and I was just like hmm and then I got them nice and then she kind of was like oh that was nice and then I went to put them back on and she was like no you'll stab me in the eyeball she's like no don't and then we got him to I wouldn't say a tiff but she was like I just don't like it I don't like when you put my glasses on no I don't like that I feel that it didn't go well no didn't go well I think I'm gonna get Lysick

you keep saying that yeah i don't think i've said it told the tarpa's that yet though guys tony lodge is gonna be glasses free i think i am i'm calling it in twenty twenty seven i like that how long is the way was they're all sort of consultations i haven't called them yet but yeah i think it's a bit of a fucking bruh ha ha isn't it i'm gonna say jutsin around before tarpathon which is in late februy oh be it announcement oh and I also know that because

it last year tarpathon was on my birthday you know just the way it played out oh yeah because we did the cake

next tarpathon is on Bridget's birthday oh February 28 yeah no 21st fuck and then she was because for years

we've been planning her 40th and she goes oh well should I oh because we just like did a bit of a calendar update

the other day for for the biz. Well, should we change it then? Because we haven't told anyone yet, so. It's a bit late now. Well, no, we'll change it. I'm surprised you saw my calendar with those dirty glasses on.

Soon I won't have to worry about that. I can get you an appointment this Friday, 3.15, just a consultation. Is that at Meadow Nick Laser Clinic? No, it's not. It's in Richmond, a health engine. Oh, I think I want to go to Meadow Nick Layser Clinic. How come? Because the guy who owns it is one of the real housewives of Melbourne.

Oh, wait, no, it is. It is. It is there. They just use a different booking system. Oh, great. Yeah, I'll go there. Yeah. No, it's not a metal laser clinic. It's at bookings.com.

That's very, very funny. No, oh, you're going to get a done at medical bookings. I'm getting done at the Commonwealth. Finderter.com.com. Find it.com.com. Where you're staying for Christmas? Oh, we're staying at airbagged. It's this new place, Airbnb.

Yeah. Have you heard of it? Yeah. Where are you? Oh, at hotels combined. Yeah. I saw a really nice big four caravan park on Instagram last night. Frankie J. Holden.

No. And I commented and said, this is the one Frankie J. Holden owns. And they said, no, but he was hearing around the twist, though. My mom loved it. What? Oh, what time is it in? No, my mom's in South America. Yeah, I was going to say, isn't she in fucking Lima or something?

What time is it in Lima, Charles? L-I-M-A just, you know, we don't need him searching. At 9.30pm. Call her. Call your mom. Is she going to have roaming on?

Go Facebook Messenger. Audio. And just say, what's Frankie J. Holden from? No, she was active 32 minutes ago. I think she might be in bed. No, no, she'll be right. She'll be right.

Can you call her from my phone? I don't have my phone with me. Yes, you do. Where is it? I don't know. Oh, is it here? First the hell of. First the hell of any video, now this.

You'll be able to see anything and so will I have to go and met any clothes of cleaning at bookings.com. This is the worst day of my life. No, it's not. You've had way worse. Oh, yeah. Yeah. The day I was left of the orphanage. Yeah.

When I was abandoned by my birth mother. Yeah. I reckon if I had to go top three. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Lay it on me. Worst three days of my life. When I did a real cracking.

shoulder reeking dislocation and it fell out of its socket and I was in hospital for a day or two in the US. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. That was tough. Yeah. That was tough. Probably when I was three days old and was left without a family.

Yeah. And... Don't remember it, but I'll allow it. And on the... Because you don't remember. Like, you weren't really there, but I got it. And then yesterday I was at Seven Seeds Cafe and I said, can I get a lactose-free cap? And they said, no, we only have oat or coconut milk.

I'd fuck with a coconut milk. But when you're not expecting it... No. So what's a lactose? Is that Zimel? Is that that that one? That's a brand. But that's that one?

Oh, we've got this. We can do the Rockabies Lactose-free. milk. They got lactose free. Or something. Good for them. Can I do mine? Yep.

Probably, now that you've brought up hospital in the US, probably the day I had to fly home from L.A. from you guys, that was really awful. And because I told myself I wasn't going to cry until I got home. So I was like, I just need to try and hold this in as much as I can. That was really awful. And I felt like I was letting the team down because I had to leave, you know? Probably. Now, this is tough.

because instantly my mind went to my mom dying. I don't think that was the worst day because I was really relieved for her. Yeah. Because it had been a really long time. She'd been in pain and yuck and just rest in peace. Yeah, like actually like you deserve to be comfortable now. So you're glad she died.

It was a big relief. You can't write a book about that because Jenna McCurdy has stolen the title. Yeah, she's glad for different reasons to me. Is she? Yeah. But no, it was a relief for her. closure, I think, was nice. So probably either the day we found out that she had a brain tumor.

Yep. Or my mom's funeral and you didn't get fucked by any. I didn't get fucked, yeah. Or like my first birthday without my mom, that was like, that was sad. Yeah. I thought she didn't die until you were 19. And then. What was she doing when your first birthday?

birthday preparing to die 18 years later. Yeah, she's like, oh, God. Foursight. Count them down the days. And then, yeah, I guess that would make up the other two, those kind of days. No milk issues? No milk for me. Hey.

Thank God. Sorry for rubbing my tough guts in your face. Hi, I'm Rebecca from lowest off the UK. Hi, this is Will from Atlanta, Georgia. Hi, I'm Kaylee from Canber Australia. And you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out. A big hug, a big smooch, and a little...

From my butt, shake my butt in your face. And I hope today isn't in your top three worst days of your life. I hope that for everyone. That is a lovely thing to say. Yeah. How beautiful. What's the best day of your life? Fuck, that is such a hard question to answer.

Like, so many days are coming to mind, which is how lucky am I, that there is so many options. I forgot to add into my worst days was when Miner's Gold Cafe stopped using Duke coffee beans They've also changed names, haven't they? Mine's gold! Yeah, it's not called Minas Gold anymore. Really?

No, I don't think so. When the fuck did that happen? I drove past the other day and it's not called Miner's Gold anymore. You're joking me. No! No! It's still like called Minas Gold like on the Instagram and stuff?

Yeah, I think you... If I find out Tony just drove past any cafe. No, no, no, no, because it was that same thing. And I was just like, isn't that normally mine as gold? Can you go there after work today? I can. I don't think it's called mine as gold anymore.

You're joking me. No, I'm not fucking young. Where is it? Why didn't you call my mum before? So we started talking about the worst days on earth. Yeah. I'm going to do champion typas. A big shout out to a few of our champion tapas.

Hopefully a few of these people are getting a calendar. If they're still a champion, type of these people joined about five years go. Samantha Tampolini? Tampillini. Oh, do you want to go for a bounce? Yeah, go out of my Tampillini. Ash Spicer, 89.

Michelle Dowling, good on you, Michelle. Sammy, thanks, Sammy. Kenner, J.M. Dahlia, beautiful name. Franker Fuse, good on you, Franca, Erica Nielsen and Crichton Jones. Oh, Crichton Jones. Crichton Jones. Crichton Jones Locker.

Yeah, and as Tony was saying, I hope you all enjoy your calendars. You've got until the end of next week to become a champion TARPA. That means you'll be in Patreon so you can enjoy all the things that Patreon has to offer. It also means that you will be getting a 2027 Tony and Ryan calendar, which we have put worldwide. That's for everyone. Yep, we have put in a lot of hard work, a lot of dress ups, a lot of face paint, a lot of hand-painted backgrounds by all of the team. It's going to be awesome. And you will have a chance to win the golden ticket, which means you will get flown. from wherever you are in the world to Melbourne, Australia.

Tony and I are going to pick you up from the airport, take you to your hotel that's all paid for. You're going to have the week of your life here in Melbourne. During that, you can come into Tap Town and record an episode. We'll go and have lunch together. It'd be so much fun. Patreon.com slash Tony and Ryan. Get around it.

Charles, logistics chat. When is the thing going Patreon to, like, register for your, like, put your address in and stuff? Is that on the 1st of November? They'll be on, it'll be on the 2nd of November. our time. Our time. So it means that you need to be a champion type of then so that you can like apply for your thing. Yep. So make sure that you're, because people are like, oh, and I'll cancel right before. You can cancel. We don't have to keep paying, but you have to make

sure that you're still in there on that day. So you can sign up. Yeah. Then you're like a countdown. When you join Patreon, there's a countdown. And then that will be like, wherever you are in the world, that's like, I like, I like the idea of account. I saw it the other day. And I was like, great, great work team. So it's good. So people know when it's coming because to avoid time zone chat. You're not going to love my love to say it. It involves time zone. That's okay.

I'll love it for you because I love you and you're my best friend. Hey, I love you and you're my best friend. Yeah. You're my best friend. Like two drunk girls in the bathroom. Sorry, I'm just,

I've been scammed. I'm really sorry. And I'm here to warn you. Oh. Is it something that could easily scam me? Because as you know, I'm very gullible. Click on a lot of links.

Well, for someone who doesn't like boats to do a lot of of fishing pH. As soon as I got got, I was just like, well, fuck me. Yeah. I'm not even mad at you. It's that's on me, actually. Were you like, I'm a demo? Yeah. So every time you get a text from the linked thing and I'm like, no, I know you're a scam. Well, sometimes they're not. True. True. A bit of off-air chat. Yeah, no, that's okay. Someone has some tolls to pay. Yeah. And it is not Tony or producer Charles. For whom the bell tolls, Ryan. Anyway. So I get this ad, like a video ad on Facebook, whatever.

And it goes, are you a dad that always feels a bit tired? Oh. And I went, yeah, that is me. They've seen me. Yep, seen me coming. And they go, is there never enough time in the day to get things done? Oh. Time's on chat.

Yeah. Yeah. Do you not get to work out as much as any, as you'd like to because she's so tired. Sure. And I was like, oh. Like, yeah, struggling to get to the, I'd love to go every day. just turns into once a year, you know. Yeah, yep.

And it said, oh, you know, can work, just take up a lot of your mental energy and you'd rather be spending it with your family. I'm like, yeah, sometimes, you know, I spend a lot of time. I love this job and I want to make sure we do a really good job. And then there's so much to think about. Yeah. And it goes, maybe you need to nail your sleep because it seems obvious. But as we know, it's most important.

Even when you see weight loss stuff, they're like the first thing, get eight hours sleep because if you're tired, you're overeating, you're stressed, the quarter. cortisol or buck and all that stuff that I understand. Sleep debt. That shit. And so basically they're like, hey, we're going to solve your sleep problems. And you'll be surprised the energy you get back, the mental clarity you get back. You know, suddenly you're making decisions, things, because you've actually slept well and you're rested and you're mentally sharp.

Your mental sharpness will come back. And you know that my mental ain't sharp. It is dull. That's not true. But I also understand that when you don't feel. feel that your best and not like the royal you like you it's hard to feel like you slaying when you're like I'm slugging through the day now here's a little asterisk for all of us yep so this is the video ad it said all that stuff or maybe it was like a carousel all these questions but it was

that kind of energy yeah yeah yeah and in hindsight be too good to be true maybe well seems too good to be true it usually is that's what no but when they're like do you feel time poor, you're a bit tired often and I, then I, when I step back and think about it now, I go, I think everyone's saying yes to that. Because I'm, I'm so sorry. Oh my God. I'm so sorry. Sorry, man.

Am I keeping you up? I'm so sorry. I've just done the biggest yawn. I'm so sorry. Wow. Are you, do you sometimes feel actually genuine question tone? You shut the fuck up. You shut the fuck up.

I tried to swallow that one. It's like a sneeze. They can't be more than one. So true. And I know how patient you are when I sneeze, so. I've gotten very good, actually. Another day I blessed four. You did.

Not the fifth, though. Tony, genuine question. Genuine question. Do you often feel tired during the day? Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes. Do you wish you had more hours in the day to get stuff done?

Absolutely. Do you wish that you could wake up feeling refreshed? Oh, I'd give anything. So I think what we're getting at is that everyone is going to answer that question. Pretty wide net. Yeah, pretty wide net. But when this guy's looking you in the eye on a Facebook ad, I've gone, you have nailed me. This is for me.

You found me. I've found you. Not only. I answered yes to all of your questions. You must. And he goes, and then so they ask all those questions. And he goes, well, I'm here to help. Yeah, it's the care.

It's that you're like, you care about what I feel. You understand. I feel seeing. I feel heard, I feel understood. And because there would be a lot of people in, you know, that have answered yes to all those questions that don't feel super seen. Maybe their partner is also really busy and they don't respect that you feel tired, you know, more than one of you can be tired.

And it said, look, we've got a couple of different products and services available. Oh, sure. Why don't you do this quick two minute quiz? Oh, you, mate, you can't be doing the quiz. And we'll see which ones for you. Mate, you can't be doing the quiz. Mate, I'm quizzing. Mate, I'm quizzing.

Mate, you can't. Nah, mate, you can't be showing the quiz. So I do this quiz. Oh, you can't be. And it says, how old are you, 39, height, weight. What time do you normally go to bed? Cool. When's your house empty?

What's your address? Nah. What kind of times is it easy to break you? Nah, and just like, would you say your diet is perfect, pretty good or needs work? you know, just the general kind of multiple choice, blah, blah, I fill them out and it goes, have we got the thing for you? Don't they just?

Yeah. We've got this program that will, with all your metadata and info we've found out about you and that's in your phone. Yeah. We can find out the exact amount of sleep you need. We can give you recommendations on like your optimal bedtime. Wow.

And then we can tell you the optimal time for you to wake up. So then if you want to set an alarm or work around it, it's up to you. but we can tell you the optimal times. Oh, that's great. Oh, no, that's our point. And Tony, for $4.95 a week, we can have this service lining you up.

And I go, well, even if I do it once. Have you then got baseline? I would at least like to find out. And if it's going to cost me $4.95, then I can quit. It's a cost of a cup of coffee. Yeah. Where are you getting coffees these days?

You know how that's like the, their line. Oh, for less than one coffee a day, you can have all your own data fed back to you. Yeah. So I was like, yeah, who's scamming who? I'll get them for a week. I'll write down me time to go to bed. Yep. I'll write down the time to get up.

Take a screenshot. Cancel the membership. Sucker. Yeah. I get you. So I do it. Yep. Here's my credit card details.

Yeah. They said download the app. Punching this. Yeah. Or side note for everyone in technology. If I've done a fucking quiz, then an online form, then I sign up the app. Don't ask me to give all my, I've just answered all these questions twice. Transfer it over.

Transfer it over. Yeah. Copy and paste. Ever heard of it? Tony just gave the middle finger to technology. So I fill it all in. Yep. Apps working.

That's a lot of effort for you. That's a lot of steps. Yeah. Then I hit the button and it, give us two minutes to process all the data, go through your phone, find stuff out. Yeah. And time. Why? Have I got some fucking answers for you?

Because we could probably, I could share your metadata. Yeah. It turns out that for me, about eight hours sleep would be great. And it turns out for me, if I went to bed between 9pm and midnight and got up between 6 and 9 in the morning, that would be good. I've got an idea for a website. $4. $3.99. It could not have been...

More vague. It said about eight hours. Go to bed at night and wake up in the morning. And I went, thanks. And that's when it all hit me at once and I went, you know what? Good on you. Yeah. Have me 495.

Yeah, you've got me there. I've got to ask you a question. I have unsubscribe. Okay, great. Well done. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you.

Thank you. Yeah. Because that's the biggest thing you got. Oh, I'll just cancel it. Oh, don't. Because I did that with Wii transfer to download one fucking file and it's cost me $3,000. Well, I just got slug $2,000. $200 for something that I signed up to for the year and I hadn't cancelled it.

You know that QR code for the CWA, child? 200 bucks. What do you mean? Am I just so stupid that I paid for a QR code? Yeah. I'm so fucking dumb. Big QR corporation. Where does the money go?

I don't know. It's called QR generator.com. And it costs you $200 to generate a QR code. For a year. And you know how many times those old women scanned it? 13. What was the QR code for? The whole year.

What was it for? It's like a QR code to scan to then get our like email and stuff. So when they're doing their little store. At the store. And you're doing that. I made the QR code. Yeah. Tech quiz.

Because you had the young tech quiz. I'm the young girl. Yeah. And Charles, $200. I got slugged yesterday, $200. And because it's come around another year. So I've canceled it now. So we can use it for the, because I've paid for another year.

Yeah. So they'll have it for another year. If anyone listening, if anyone watching. needs some QR codes to be generated. No, you get the one. It's one. I can't make more. I can't make more. One QR code. It's the one. Yep.

And Chrome does it for free. Tony Lodge. I didn't know that. I was going to say that doesn't sound like the kind of thing that costs money. I didn't know that it didn't cost money and it does if you're dumb like me. So I'm very glad that you have cancelled the thing already. They only got one month's worth out of you. One week.

Sorry. Could you imagine that at an up? Five dollars a week. Yeah. What's that in a year tone? $20 a week, a month. $2, $2,400 a year. So true.

Is that it? Close-ish. Yeah. $20 a month. Yeah. It's $5 a week. Yeah, $5 a week, $20 a month. $250.

$2.60. Yeah. There's a dot point in the wrong spot there, but that's fine. Yeah, I think it was just my DESE. You did a little DESE. My DESE. My DESE. No.

No. No. Because $20 a month times 12 is 24. 24 out of zero back on. Oh, I said 200. I said 2,400. But it's 240. Ish, yeah.

So true. I was close. I was close. You're within $2,000. Not even, actually. You're within $200, $2,300. Anyway. Well, anyway, I've got some health advice.

You've got to be careful on the internet. You really do. Yeah. I've got some advice. Yeah. You listening? You watching? I reckon about eight hours sleep a night.

And if you go to bed in the evening and wake up in the morning, you'll feel sharp as a tack in the morning. You'll be ready to go. You'll be high performing. You'll be lifting more at the gym. You'll have sharper focus. Yeah. Your kids will be better behaved. And you'll have $4 less in your pocket.

Yeah. Every week. Every week. Which is the price of a cup of coffee. Which is approximately $2004 a year. Or $2,500, depending on which currency and accountant. Well, you can send that to me if you want. If you're going to be without that money anyway, send it over to me.

I've got to pay for my QR code addiction. Imagine if the official advice that the place gave you, it was like, if you're tired, you should sleep more. It kind of did. Like, that's actually what it said. You should just go to sleep. I would just sleep more if I were you, you know? So condescending.

The app was so shiny and nice. What? What was the? Oh, you didn't. Oh, maybe don't want to dox him. You don't even fine. And I don't. But it's called like,

it looked like some whizbang tech company that had all the science and all the data and the innovation. Anna, they just get me day and day out. But I mean, it's what their business do. And some people would go, oh, yep, cool, taking notes. But I think the thing I don't like is that it is praying on people for getting to cancel. Although it's still sending me notifications. Like you're not getting new value every week or month.

If it's still sending me notifications, and maybe I am still subscribe. Did you sign up through the app store? Yep. There's an easy way to check. We'll check. Because we have to find my phone first. That's the challenge.

It does sometimes notify me in the afternoon saying, oh, afterno. Start winding down. No, go afternoon slump. Oh, I don't need a notification. I'm feeling it. You don't need to let me know that it's 3 o'clock. It's also like the worst thing to hear when you're in a bad mood

is someone telling you in a bad mood. Like imagine getting a bit tired at 3 o'clock and then an app goes, oh, you feel a bit tired, mate. You go, yeah, fuck you. Yeah. Does that make me feel better or worse? And what am I going to do about it? Charles, slump time, slump time.

What am I going to do about it? What am I going to do about it? Slump time. Send the notification at slump time. The notification is my mum. It's your mom. She's going, oh, hi. Did you call it?

No, you've been here the whole time. It's now 10 o'clock, so. There's no way. I've got her, you love to see her. This is from Emma Court. And she's been a taba for a long time. And she's from Perth. So,

slow, and Emma just wants to send a lot of love to her best friend, Maddie. Maddie with two eyes, M-A-D-I-I, who just had her first baby. That's beautiful. Congratulations, Mama Maddie. And Emma was like, she just did so well, and she's been so strong,

and she's doing such a good job as a new mom. And just love to just like, see it. Love to see it. Isn't that really sweet? That is really nice. Yeah. And Maddie is a Tapper as well and she's like approved the pod before and,

but yeah, congratulations on the new barb. All the best, Maddie. It's very sweet. I would like to send a shout out to Steve Lannan. Hi, Steve. Who started reading the book Orbital, which is by Samantha Harvey for playing along on her. It's about people. The post of family feud.

No, that's Steve Harvey. Steve Harvey. That's the brother. The book Orbital is about people orbiting Earth on some space thing. That is what Steve has said, technical term. On some space thing. Did you just say that's what Steve said? No, it's Samantha.

I said Steve, you're saying Samantha. You fuck this right up. Steve Lannin has sent that you love to see it in about the book written by Samantha Harvey. But Steve is the tarpa. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Not Samantha. No, she's the author of the book that Steve is reading.

Yeah. And Steve Harvey, surprisingly, has nothing to do with it. Great. So Steve Harvey says, Steve Lannon says, it's about people orbiting Earth on some space thing. Since the orbiter's or space people or whatever the fuck they're called are just flying around.

Obviously hasn't read much. He's really into it by then. Because they're orbiting Earth. they mentioned the need for a coordinated universal time UTC to communicate clearly with people on earth and each other

the same time zone for everyone yeah as seen on the Tony and Ryan podcast I would like to second the call for a universal time third it motion move well you were the first Oh, could you third it and move it, please.

Third. Thank you. How can we start the fucking blog? In brackets, my blog is time zones. Yes, I love it. Steve. Steve Lennon. Steve Lannon.

And thanks for the book, Samantha Harvey. I think you need to read Orbital. Orbital. Yes. Orbital sounds like. Sorbitol. Yeah. The sugar.

It's not. It sounds like a farmer, like orbital. Side effects may include like. So true. Emeabic dysentery. It's called UTC. Hang on. CUT. Hang on.

So you said it was called CUT and then you said United Times Zone. They're saying UTC. UTC is a real thing. Isn't that a real time time? That's a real time. Yeah, but then they've said, Oh, you haven't thought about this. Coordinated Universal Time, which is the same letters but in the different order.

It is what it is, that is true. It is called UTC time, but it's called coordinated universal time. Well, it's actually cut. So what's UTC stand for? Coordinated Universal Time, but they've written Coordinated Time. This is more confusing than the time zones itself. Because UTC is like the, yeah, Zulu time, it says. Oh.

That's the military name. Oh. So, so hang. So. So. Hmm. Hmm. I think I need the horse photo.

Really? I'm feeling really, really challenged by this. No, they're doing this for you to help. So. Because doesn't this make it so much easier, Tony? So. Yeah. Soorbital.

So in the book, are they saying we should have this? Well, no. In the book, they have it. Because they are orbiting the Earth. Imagine them changing time zones every 12 minutes. They're like, no, we just got to pick one and stick with it. That's crazy. And so when, hello Houston,

when Houston calls them and goes, yeah, cool, we'll meet you at 3 o'clock and they go, which one? So they go, okay, why don't we use this coordinated universal time? I see. So we can all just run off the same clock. Okay, I'm now across it. So they're just basically going by America time or whatever.

That is not out of being at all. They're just going off a specific time in four specific time zones. I know that there's like eight in America or three or something. But like, so they're going by UTC. Well, universal specific. It's nothing to do with America. Oh, but isn't the UTC zone in? No.

Oh, is that GMT, Greenwich Mean Time is a zero. I think. GMT is like the base. I've actually got a differing you love to see it. Should I run with that one? Nah, I like this. It's good. It's testing me.

Keep me sharp. It's testing all of us. GMT and UTC seem to be the same time. Yeah. Yeah. Because GMT is like... GMT. Because if we're like in Perth, it's like GMT plus eight.

Yep. So you're eight hours ahead or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. So they're just doing something that Steve is saying we should have, but it's already exists. Is that right? All this GMT chat makes me feel like a GNT.

That's funny. Before when Greenwich came up made me want a sandwich. Would you like some Gizmani Gomez? GYGMT. It's dynamite. Okay. Great. Steve, I'm on.

board. Have a great day, everyone. I did ask for the horse photo. I do think I really need it. Is that okay? That's all right. I think that I've just feeling quite flapped by that. Do you know what?

I think it's in my draw. Oh, it is. Oh. Horse foe too. Is it the same if we're not both holding the same one? Oh, Dublin Decker. Love you. Love you.

Love you. Love you. Love you. Good job, everyone. I've just realized, oh, there's a boarding part. to Fiji. Oh, we'll need that soon. We've gone to Fiji soon. They keep turning up.

Thank God July. I gave us all those beautiful suitcases. What happened to Dr. Dick Klopp? Dr. Dick Chubb? I think Charles threw it out. Did you go? There's Julia Roberts. There's the old horse photo.

I know, here's Dr. Dick. Oh, that is a man that's on UTC. If ever I've seen it. Love you. Bye!