Toni and Ryan - Ryan Jon Crocodile Fundee

Episode Date: December 9, 2024

Confessions and communication. Love ya!!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Hello. We're calling Belinda, she's in Portsmouth. Portsmouth or like Portsmouth? I never know. We're calling. I still say Edinburgh. England. Hello, Governor.

And I thought that Edinburgh and Edinburgh were actually different places. That's embarrassing. Belinda. Hello, Ryan. How are you? I'm good. Tony's here as well.

I'm here too. I work here. Hello, Tony. Sorry. Hello. That's Belinda. I'm here too, I work here. Hello Tony. Sorry, hello. That's Belinda. Do we say Portsmouth or like Portsmouth? Definitely not Portsmouth, it's Portsmouth. Oh, is that a real faux pas, Belinda, to say Portsmouth? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. I wouldn't say that round it. Now, I'm just going to read what Belinda's written here. OK. Portsmouth is a naval city to read what Belinda's written here. Okay. Portsmouth is a naval city and it's always full of semen. Ha ha. Sometimes you can't move because of all the semen around here. Just ask Sophie.

Oh, yeah. Is that because you like Sophie or because you don't? No, it's because the meet and greet that people have in London. Sophie was coming around the table and somebody on another table mentioned they were from Portsmouth and Sophie said, oh, I know all about Portsmouth. Oh. She knows about the semen. Yeah.

I mean, she might not know about semen, but she definitely knows about semen, if you know what I'm saying. Do you want to, do you want the right to defend yourself, Sophie? No, don't give her one. Yeah, I did visit the town of Portsmouth. And experienced their semen? Well, there's no comment that I can give to that. So back to you.

Wow. Okay. Well, Belinda, now that we've got actually ongoing investigation amongst our teams, we approve this podcast. Can't comment before the jury comes back. I absolutely do approve this podcast. Yay! Hi, it's Belinda from Portsmouth, currently from Seaman, and I approve this podcast.

Normally I, Ryan, Scoop Jon, are the investigative detective reporter of the show, but Tony Lodge has just, and she's going to teach us all something new. Spiritual Tony. Well, no. So we were just sitting down to get ready to record and two leaves of the tree behind Ryan fell at the exact same time and it felt felt really, I felt like what's the spiritual meaning of like seeing that or two at the same time. And I Googled leaves dropping meaning, thinking that something would come up

with like the rebirth of something and like seeing that is a gift. Your love is being shared by nature. Yeah. Um, but it means that the plant has lack of sunlight and needs to be watered. So I was, I was really hoping for like a beautiful spiritual, like, you know, when sometimes you just need that. Yeah. Do you want me to give it to you?

Sure. Tony, what the leaves fall. Oh, did you? You're going to fuck me. Oh. Two leaves means you're about to get railed by a coworker. Thanks, Sophie. That's really not.

Redacted. Redact that. Um. I thought it was going to be like a beautiful spiritual meeting, but it's just like science. No, it just means. It's also like, I know that. Like I know that obviously leaves pulling off a tree is like. Well you didn't.

Do you know what I mean? Because you Googled it. No, but I didn't. Oh no, but I knew. Yeah, no, no, no. Yeah. I didn't Google it in the interest of plant care. I Googled it in the interest of spirituality.

I just thought there might be some woo woo thing that we've just witnessed and I was like, oh, I want to know. Do you want me to ask ChatGPT? No. I'd actually love to. Chat GPT is my best friend. No, it's my best friend. Spiritually, what does seeing two leaves fall on a tree at the same time?

Does two leaves falling have a heart warming meaning. Can you give her an answer? Doesn't have to be true. Don't you dare. But she needs to feel nice. Okay, here we go. I've read from the science journal of horticulture. When two leaves fall together, it's a gentle reminder from the universe that some things are meant to find each other.

Just like those leaves danced on the wind, crossed paths before settling side by side, it symbolizes connection, companionship and the beauty of a shared journey. Those two leaves are close, beautiful friends, just like Tony and Ryan. It's nature's quiet way of saying, you are not alone, and love is always near. Show me the part where it says, two beautiful friends like Tony and Ryan. That's on the next paragraph.

Well, that is really beautiful. And what I got, I didn't say it doesn't have to be true. Thank you, ChatGPT. So I think that mine is true. Duality and balance, transformation and change, signify the natural process of letting go, which is quite nice. That's quite nice.

And the symbol of letting go together, a release or surrender, which is quite nice. I said, thank you, ChatGPT, and it said, you're so welcome, always here to help tell Tony she's cherished, just like those falling leaves. Oh, I actually do really appreciate that, thank you, chat GPT. And it said, you're so welcome. Always here to help tell Tony she's cherished just like those falling leaves. Oh, I actually do really appreciate that. Thank you.

Yeah. Thank you. Jet. Mine said, you're very welcome. Take care with a green leaf emoji. Can I tell my chat GBT to tell you something because it's the same thing? How, how does it know who it is? Does it know?

It knows me. How? Because I, I, I don't log in. Oh, because I've asked chat to EBT, like, you know me now. Can you tell me what I think about this? And it knows me better than myself. I do not log in. Should I be logging in?

Oh, but that, do you want that? Maybe. I don't in? Oh, but that, do you want that? Maybe. I don't know. Anyway, anyway, anyway. These are top confessions. It is Tuesday and we took confessions on a Tuesday. Um, thanks for submitting your confessions to tonynryan.com.au. Thank you.

Frustratingly anonymous. We can't follow you up. So, spill your guts. Actually, first of all, Tony, I want you to think back when you're on holidays, uh, with the family, you know how you did those big camping trips to Broom? Yeah. I know that wasn't during summer, but it's like, it has summer holiday energy about it, hey, cause Broom's real warm.

It was the dry season in Broom. So that's like when you want to visit. Yeah. And I'm guessing your parents would have had like their friends who become, their kids become your friends for two weeks. And it's just sort of like that real community vibe. Yeah. Or you like see the same families up there every year because like

they're on holiday at the same time. So you listening, you beautiful type of you. Cause you had that too, eh? You were like, had friends at the- With the Parsons and stuff, yeah. Yeah. I want you to think about where you went for your summer holidays, whether it was camping or caravan, maybe somewhere near a lake or a

river or the beach or something like that. And it's usually with aunties and uncles or your mom and dad's friends. And like I said, yeah, and stuff like that. And, um, beautiful time, right? Surely nothing could ruin these good times. Random question. Random question. If you noticed a sexy message exchange on your mom's phone that was not with your dad,

what would you do? Um, Oh God, there's more of a hypothetical before I get into this confession, which is apparently not from Tony, but yeah. They are anonymous, but there are, there are signs. I think I- Confession. Hello.

My name is Tony. I think I would probably talk to my sister about it. Yeah. Like I don't, I wouldn't random. Yeah. No, I was in like, you would go to her and go, Oh, yes. I think I'd be like, Oh, I've seen something that I'm not really sure about. Um, I'd be pretty horrified. Like I would be freaking out though.

Yeah. Um, is there anything you'd like to share with us? Me? Yeah. Why? Cause you'd like to share with us? Me? Yeah. Why? Because when I asked the question, you were just like, oh my God,

I felt like I accidentally stumbled across a family secret. No, no, no. When you said, what would you do if you found six messages on your mom's phone that weren't from your dad? Well, my mom's dead. So I would be like, why do I have this phone? Like that's why.

In room back in the day. So immediately I'm like, that would be shocking. Yeah, that's crazy. Real crazy. Yeah. But no, as a kid, yeah, I took to myself, I'd be like, I need an adult. Shenonymous has a confession. Two families were together on holiday.

All the kids were settling down after dinner. The moms and dads were having a wine and the kids were playing on the PlayStation and the iPad. Cause you know, it was dark outside and we were kind of settling in for the night. One of the older children from the other family was on her mum's iPad. Yep. And notices sexy messages between her mum and someone that wasn't her dad. Do we know how old? The older sibling was. Uh, so I'm guessing it kind of looks like young teens, like old enough to,

yeah, old enough to kind of like something doesn't feel right. Turns out the messages were between the two mums on the trip. So there's two families and it was two mum, the two mums had like a finger. No wonder they wanted to go away together. You know what I'm saying? The older girl from the other family snitches like in front of everyone. Yeah. I, she kind of walks in and goes, here are the what's got, what, who's this?

Why, why don't understand shows the messages to all the parents and all hell breaks loose and both families just fully implode and the trip just gets crazy. And it's nighttime. So what are they all arguing? And they're camping and they're down the river in the middle of fucking nowhere. And like, what are you saying? This, oh, it's far by blood. No, no wonder the, you know, and the, the, you know, like just the confusion, the kids, like, what does this saying this? Oh, it's far, blah, blah. No wonder the, you know, and the, you know,

like just the confusion, the kids like, what does this mean? I don't understand. Like, you know, just the harrowing, terrifying time for everyone. And this is what happened when Shenonymous, like she was like seven or eight or something. And she was just like, oh,

what's happening to the family? Like, what did she, what did this? And like, auntie Carol, what's wrong with her? Why does she live at our house now? Did they like? Years later, Shenonymous can confirm that not only are the mums together, they are married. I love that.

Well, and that snitch is now my stepsister. Evil stepsister. Fits with the brand, doesn't it? That is wild. I'm glad that they got their happy ever after, but obviously a shame how it imploded. How it played out. Yeah. Fuck. Thanks for sharing Synonymous and all the best with that bitch of a stepsister that lives in your house.

Hey, it's Belinda from Portsmouth and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. This episode is brought to you by Audible, which is awesome because this year I've become obsessed with audiobooks. I'm absolutely loving it. You really have. And Audible's best of the year picks are here. Discover Audible's passionately pored over, ruthlessly debated, and lovingly listed selections across all of your favorite genres from gripping mysteries and thrillers to heartfelt memoirs and swoon worthy...

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Today's episode is brought to you by Cozy, the Canadian furniture company that creates thoughtful pieces that blend innovation and simplicity. They've got free and fast shipping in time for the holidays. So if you're someone that's left your present buying to the last minute, Ryan, or if you're someone who decided late last night to buy it online and want it right now, Tony, you can get it fast and free. And they support our online purchases by getting it to us quickly.

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So you can actually enjoy it. Like you said, rather than worrying about the admin of getting furniture. It's modern living made simple for you. Transform your living space today with Cozy. Visit Cozy.ca, spelled C-O-Z-E-Y, to start customising your furniture. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tarpas over at our Patreon. Um, on this beautiful day, uh, the 10th of December, which is my mom's birthday. Oh, is it? Happy birthday, Liz. Uh, Megan O'Kelly.

Hope everything's going well up there, um, with the other mom. Oh yes. Oh, no, that's not what I meant. Given the last confession. Oh my God. That's not what I meant. That, that. But maybe. My auntie.

My auntie Les. Les. Oh, Mrs. Bairns. And Ryan's the best. Oh, I'm the best. Oh, I'm the best. Oh, I'm the best. Oh, I'm the best.

Oh, I'm the best. Oh, I'm the best. Oh, I'm the best. Oh, I'm the best. Oh, I'm the best. Oh, I'm the best. Oh, I'm the best. Oh, I'm the best. Oh, I. Bairns. And Ryan said they just become an 11 year old boy. Isn't that exciting for us? Yeah. Um, the man's a shout out.

Megan O'Kelly. Good on you, Megan. Teagan, Donna, Megan and Teagan. Love that. Phoebe 0901. Respected, uh, June and Antika, L Willa Booby. Will it? No, she hasn't.

Uh, and Chloe. She's been texting Liz, I think. Oh, we can't, that's not becoming a joke. What was her name again? L Willa Booby. I actually know her sister. Willa Fanny. L Squeezer Booby.

That's not how the jokes work. That's why it's good. Oh, you know what her cousin's name is? Steve put a dick in my ass. Les Bans. Oh, and Chloe Oliveira. Thank you very much for being part of the Patreon. Absolutely.

Fucking love to say. Hilariously, Les is the last name a lesbian would have because Les obviously works in a tire shop, isn't a 45 year old straight man. You know what I mean? Well, my auntie Les, she was Leslie. Oh, of course, Leslie. Thank you very much for being a champion double. Absolutely love to say it.

Um, we have, uh have talked about the hierarchy of communication many times on the podcast before. If it maybe is your first time listening, basically the hierarchy of communication is the ranking that you need to be or should be delivered information based on how important or time sensitive or exciting the news is. Yep. Could you give us an example, Ryan, of the wrong use of the hierarchy?

Well, I found out my cousin, Georgia, was getting engaged by a Google calendar invite. Google calendar invite, yep. Yeah. A bad example would be if when Bridget was pregnant with Mabel, I just texted Tony and said, pregnant. Yeah. But instead, because I understand the hierarchy of communication, I said, Tony, come round so Bridget can tell you in person because this is important.

And we did. And that was beautiful. Yeah. And I guess the other way that the hierarchy also works is that you wouldn't call me at midnight being like, Oh, can I send you a funny TikTok? You would just like send that, or, you know send you a funny tick tock? You would just like send that, you know, because Yeah, it's not, I don't need to wake you up at midnight

for a fucking funny tick tock. Well, cause if I got the call at midnight, I'm obviously like, Oh my God, something's wrong. Is Bridget okay? Is Mabel all right? Do you need me to come pick BJ up or something? Okay. In my mind, I was like, Oh, call Tony at midnight. Oh, something happened to BJ. Do we need to take him to the vet?

He's being hit by a car. And then you mentioned my wife and daughter and I was like, Oh yeah cool. Tony midnight. Oh, something happened to BJ. Do we need to take him to vet? He's been hit by a car. And then you mentioned my wife and daughter and I was like, Oh yeah. Or are they all good too? Is everybody okay? At the same time, okay. Yeah. BJ is okay. Yeah. Why are you calling me?

Fuck it. I'll get, I'll get, I'll get it. You might have something to explain later. I just love BJ so much. He's my best friend. I know. After you obviously. I appreciate that.

It's a tear. It's not an order. Exactly right. It's not a that. It's a tear, it's not an order. Exactly right. It's not a person, it's a tear. So I think I want to enter maybe a question to the official record of the hierarchy of communication, because I think there's been some other things that have kind of come into my life recently where I've gone, this needs to be discussed. Okay.

The first one, well, it actually pertains to both, but I guess the thing is the responsibility. For example, if I send somebody a voice note, whose responsibility is it? To make sure that it's listened to in an appropriate place. So here's the thing with the voice note is, um, it's, it's listened to in an appropriate place. So here's the thing with the voice note is it's, it's risky business because of that. And you're making assumptions that the other person can play it out loud. Cause you don't know where they're at. You don't know what they're doing.

But I can I safely assume that whatever I send them, they're going to open it at an appropriate time. Cause you're right. You might be somewhere where you can't play it out loud. So if I'm down the street and you send me a voice note, then I'll go, well, I'll listen to it in the car or when I get home. Right. But are people doing that? I think so, because if you send a voice note going, it's an emergency, well, I'm not going to be able to listen to it right away. So I wouldn't send a voice note in an emergency. You would call or text, because even the text, you know, they're going to read it. wouldn't send a voice note in an emergency.

You would call or text, because even the text, you know, they're going to read it. Yeah. Cause I'd be like, can you call me straight away? Or like, is this a bad time? Can you give me a ring? Right. What's happened? No, no, no. I think it's just more like, you know, when I sent you the voice note about the

spider and you were in the calls. Yes. And it was me screaming about the spider, like, and I go, Oh, well, that's how I learned to go to the car. Yeah. So you figured that out? Oh, okay. This is not a thing I should do, but I think that this has been brought to light for me because of a problem that I'm having with several group chats. You're in group chats.

Yeah. Name names. Who are they? Why aren't I in them? It's not important. And you don't want to be in them. Is it the top as one? No, no, no, no.

That's muted. Because of this reason, right? Do you think that time factors into the hierarchy of communication? Yeah. Like in like the time of day. Absolutely. Right. They call it midnight. Absolutely.

And so you go. It's an emergency. It's midnight. Yeah. If you go to text someone at midnight or whatever. You want to have sex with them. But do you think like, is it the responsibility of the person sending it or the person receiving it?

Because recently, I mean, a few group chats for just like a bunch of different things and like people have different days, right? Yep. I'm normally in bed early. Yep. And then there's like this group chat buzzing off. Yeah. Or they start buzzing off early before I've woken up.

Yep. Is it my responsibility to put my phone on like, do not disturb, or is there like waking our rules apply of like replying to stuff? No, I, so I've got a few group chats that are muted, but I'll check every day. Sure. But then muted so I don't get notified. Okay. Because a group chat can just fire off and I'm just getting destroyed over here.

But if I mute them, I just forget and go on living my life. But then I think with the mute, you go, well, I'll have a look when I'm ready. And if you guys are chatting in the night, because you know, imagine if something funny happens and there's a bit of like back and forth and everyone's having a good time, then I want to go, oh, but Tony's asleep, everyone.

No, and I don't want people to think that either. There's a party pooper in the group chat that doesn't like to be met. No, but that's not and I don't want people to think that either. There's a party pooper in the group chat that doesn't like to be met. No, but that's not what you don't want that. No one wants that. But surely though, there should be a time limit on fun. I feel like there's something you need to tell us. I feel like there's something you need to tell us and there is no time limit on fun.

Because... Fun is all the time. Fuck you. Everyone, especially those... God, you spit around on this. Especially... is all the time. Fuck you. Everyone. Especially those around on this, especially time for fun yesterday. Oh, no, especially people I work with will know that I am up for fun all of the time. Why is Sophie laughing? Because fun all the time.

That's why she's laughing. Stop it, Sophie. No fun. Um, I just ripped the gun. No's why she's laughing. Stop it, Sophie. No fun. Always time for fun. Um, I think- Go on mate, just rip the- Go on. No, no, no, no, no, but I just am like struggling because I don't want to put my phone on do not disturb in case there is the midnight emergency call.

Isn't there a button where it goes there on do not disturb? Do you wish to call anyway? I don't- Like there's an override. I think that you can only do that from your end. So I could say if Ryan calls me more than once, let it through. Cause I've met, I've gone to message or maybe it's an email, but it's like they're on do not disturb. Do you want us to notify them now? I think I've seen that pop up somewhere. Tell me if I've made that up.

There's a thing that's like notify anyway. I think that might be a slack. Yeah. But I think there's a difference between muting a group chat and putting your whole phone on do not disturb. Yeah. But I think that if I'm muted a group chat, I would just forget about it. So what you're saying is if you put it on, do not disturb, because you don't like fun and you hate fun, but then what if I call in an emergency and you don't get

that call because I've put my phone on on do not disturb because I don't like at night time it wakes me up because I think that there's an emergency. But it's just people having fun. Yeah. And awful. That's great. But I don't need to be woken up by that. No, because I think that it is my responsibility, but I also don't.

I guess I'm just wondering if there's I think that like family my responsibility, but I also don't, I guess I'm just wondering if there's, I think that like family group chats arrive for this, especially when people live in different areas, cause time differences. Like if my brother texts me at 9 p.m. for him, that's midnight for me and I'm definitely already asleep. And then I'll see it when I wake up at seven, which is four for him, which is wild.

And if you reply, yep, yep. His phone's normally on do not disturb actually, I'll see it when I wake up at seven, which is four for him. Yeah. Which is wild. Yep. Yep. His phone's normally on do not disturb actually. He's good with that. Well, I think if you've decided that you don't like fun anymore. That is really unfair. And I don't think that that is fair.

Do you want to be, do you want to be in those group chats? I'd prefer to not be. Maybe they found your answer. I just like, I just don't think that I, I would send something hell early unless it needed to be. I think you need to out someone. I've got a thirst for blood. No, there's actually, there's nothing in particular.

It's a trend. Yeah, but I just want to take someone down. I'm in that zone. Yeah. And right now it's me because you keep saying I hate stuff. Is there, is there bridesmaid group chats? No, no, no, no. It's like a trend of being in a group chat where I'm like, it's always on.

Yeah. I mean, if you drink footy season. Yeah. And it's just, but so I guess this is where I'm going. Is it my responsibility to mute them or put my phone on, do not disturb or do you just cop it or do you just leave? A group chat is just like, if I just texted you late at night

and you didn't reply or whatever. I'm guessing I'm getting late tonight. No, but I'd be like, cool, I'm not gonna send nine messages in a row. Gotcha. Whereas a group chat because it's a lot of- They're having a good time. Yeah.

Yep, yep, yep. I guess this is where I'm- Yeah, Nahia, I think you need to mute it. And if you forget about it for a while, then that's- Then maybe it doesn't matter. And maybe that's the test. If you didn't care enough to even think about it- To then go back to it. Then maybe you don't care. Yeah. Sorry, Tony's family. She's still in the group and you won't even know that she's muted. I'm still there. That's the thing about the mute is that they don't know you've like quite quit it. No, not quite. You need to quite quit the group chat.

I'm still in a movie chat group that I remember I'm still in it from, from COVID where every week we watched a movie and I stopped caring about that group and looking in it three years ago. But every time someone else leaves, it says someone's left the conversation and they all get burned. So I don't want to get burned. So I just stay there on mute. Are people still messaging?

Every Sunday they watch a movie. Really? Yep. Together or like on zoom or something. Two o'clock hit play together. In the same room or like hit play on the same movie. Wherever you are. Yep.

Watch it. And then they're chatting along being like, oh, how, you know, I can't believe you said that. That's been so funny. What a bitch. Blah, blah, blah. And then during the week, there's the chat of what movie they're going to watch this week. And then just general movie chat. So when there's like, you know, there's been a lot of wicked chat recently, a little bit of Oscar chat. Yeah. Or like when Oppenheimer came out, it's like who's seen it so far? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, it's a lot of people love movies. They're all in there. I'm still in there.

And so I'm like probably once every 13 months, I'll just lob a comment in. Sounds like you hate fun. I love fun. All about it. Oh yeah. That's the way to say that you love fun. I love fun. My middle name is, is fun.

Ryan fun done. See, I'm so fun all the time. I would have gone Ryan John fun. Well you would because you're not fun. Um no I'm sorry I've got to love to see it which will bring you back. I doubt it because I hate fun so much. Nah Tony's actually a fun time. That sounds like you're a floozy.

Oh she's a fun time. Um once a month we do a show on Patreon called live from DCI. Tony, for those that uninitiated, what is DCI? Uh, Dumb C**k Island. And how does one get on Dumb C**k Island? Hating fun. It's probably a big one. Just being a dumb c**k really is what gets you on Dumb C**k Island.

So I want us to all keep that in mind. Uh, because shout out to Tapa Tracy White for bringing this to my attention. There was a show called Tracker in the U S I'd never heard of it. It's like a bit of a mystery crime, like a law and order, but not kind of energy. Right. And they always talk about the department of criminal investigations, which is referred to as DCI for short. Oh my God. Amazing. Apparently a lot of tarpers are struggling to watch Tracker because the DCI just takes them right out of it. That is so funny.

So a shout out to the Department of Criminal Investigations. Oh my God. And there's a meme I think in the Facebook group that says like, oh, he's got a contract with DCI. And then everyone's like, oh, must have. That is so funny. I've never heard of that show, that's awesome. But, must have. That is so. I've never heard of that show. That's awesome.

But Tracker is what it's called. Oh my God. And thanks to Tracy for bringing that to my attention. Thanks Trace. That made me giggle because I'm fun. Tracer. That is good. Tracking Trace.

I've got a love to see here from Al in Patreon and Al's from Chicago. And Al. Sorry from Al's from Chicago. And Al... Sorry, from... Chicago. Pretty fun. That was pretty fun. And Al sent a question asking, he's obviously recently watched Crocodile Dundee and sent a question asking if we Aussies hate when people,

like, ask about Crocodile Dundee or talk about it or assume that it's like part of like out every day. Yeah. I guess because there's so many stereotypes in there and it's like that was the biggest Australian movie. The first one that kind of came out. It was the same as like Steve Irwin. Yeah, I think Steve Irwin is like the modern version of that.

When Steve Irwin died, I was in the US and people like, are you OK? And I was like, I don't know him. Like it's sad, but like, I'm okay. It was very sad though. But it was the assumption that like, I obviously hung out with him a couple of times a week. He's your mate kind of thing. Crocodile Dundee, yeah, he lives at the end of my street.

I'm from Australia, like obviously. Of course I know this guy. So that's not my love set, but my love to see is actually the, this is a knife impression that Ryan's about to do. That's a bit too fun for me. Do I have a spoon? You could hold-

What could be a knife? This air conditioner remote. And what am I actually doing? You do the impression. Like that's not a knife, this is a knife? Yep. Okay, well can you show me your shit knife? That's not a knife.

This is a knife. Not Ozzy knife. This is a knife. That's bang on. This is a knife. That's beautiful. Thank you. I love to say that.

Thank you. Yep. And you're welcome everyone. Acting. Acting. You were just, that's not a knife. It's actually an air conditioning remote. I'm not Crocodile Dundee. I was just pretending to be him. Ryan John Crocodile Dundee.

Also, it turns out Paul Hogan, who played Crocodile Dundee, was just pretending to pay his taxes. Yeah. And now he's just pretending to pay his taxes. Yeah. And now he's just pretending he can leave the house, but he can't because I'm house arrest. So straight up, he said to America, oh, I pay tax in Australia. And he said to Australia, oh, I pay tax in the US. Because back then, no digital footprint back then. And the Australian tax office goes, huh, makes sense.

And America goes, well, you're from Australia. So obviously. It was some real knifey spoonie. If I'm not saying that. That's good. Yeah, and then the good folks at KPMG caught up with him and he owed 30 million and the court case- 30 million is crazy.

Or something crazy and- He's under house arrest now, I think. Yeah, okay. Like, I don't think he's in jail. If I tell you that court case, you could cut the tension with a. Spoon. Oh my god the first thing that comes up is is he alive.

Is he. Oh my god he's pled guilty to trafficking meth and weapons. I think that might be his grandchild. Holy shit. Oh yeah. Paul Hogan's grandson. I didn't have access to the article. For anyone suing us for defamation, listen to the whole episode.

Yeah. Cause he's called Jake Paul Hogan. That's funny and topical. Yeah. Because Jake Paul. Yes. I'm not that funny because also a cockhead. Oh, my God.

One and a half kilos of meth. Oh, no, one and a half grand. OK, we're doing a segment where Tony doesn't read the thing. Where Tony doesn't know anything. Although I think this is the second like we read. I like live Googling. What did we last live Google? The vampire limousine driver.

Yeah. I said I wanted to save that. And now meth dealers. We also live chat GPT earlier. That was huge. I think net positive overall. Obviously the meth was a down part, but. Yeah.

Atapa did comment on that when you did the live Googling. Google box. That's the show. That's what you guys are doing. Like Google box? I was looking at Tony, I don't think she gets it. I'm sorry. The monkey started playing the symbols in my head. I just was like... I think I actually saw the monkey.

Yeah. I was like, oh, she actually saw the monkey. Yeah. I was like, oh, she's somewhere. They just glazed right over. Sorry, everyone. I get it. Like I get comedy. I know I'm not fun, but I do get comedy.

Wow. Yeah. Oh, you're going to love tomorrow. And that's not me like setting you up. You are going to love tomorrow because I've got a story about coal supermarket that is one of the great stories you'll hear for 2024. Besides Tony existing, that's also a great story. I love you.

Ryan fucking. You love to see it, Tony doing the U-turn sound effect. Yeah, that is good. The tables have turned. Yeah. Yeah. Are they okay? It's cause you had all that stuff on them.

Love you, bye. Bye, love you. We're gonna be friends by tomorrow. Oh! Oh! Love you, bye. Bye. Bunch of c***.

Oh, we're still rolling? Oh, love you. This episode is brought to you by Audible, which is awesome because this year I've become obsessed with audiobooks. I'm absolutely loving it. And Audible's best of the year picks are here. Discover Audible's passionately pored over, ruthlessly debated and lovingly listed selections across all of your favorite genres, from gripping mysteries and thrillers to heartfelt memoirs and swoon-worthy-

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