Toni and Ryan - Ryan's Bad Altitude

Episode Date: November 27, 2022

A tight five on a plane and a GREAT announcement for all of those that love us (and who we love in return!) Check out the good news here! Fuckin love ya Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Plus you can find the links to pre-order Toni's book here! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'll call on Nick, who I believe might be at work. All right, but that's okay. Because we're at work as well. We're at work as well. Yeah. Tony and Ryan and Nick, just a bunch of hard work. Hello? Nick, how you doing?

Hey, guys. How's it going? Good. How are you? Are you at work? What are you up to? I am taking a smoke break outside right now with my other cook. That's a couple of orders.

Oh, my God. Are you a chef? Well, it's's a little bar. That's cool. We have really great wings. We're actually one of the only soccer bars in our area too. A soccer bar? So we can watch the soccer game. We just got our new World Cup

shirts today. We're going to get real busy for that. We're opening at 5am for the World Cup. This is your time to shine. Yeah, the World Cup, all the time zones are a nightmare. People are eating wings, drinking beers at 6 a.m. Right. And your tummy really turns.

Oh, I thrive under that pressure too. Oh, and being a chef. Yeah, game time. You've got to be on at all times. Yeah, when we're slow, it sucks. I get bored when it's slow. Yeah. See, when our job is slow, Nick, which is quite often, I love it.

Right. Because it means I don't have to do anything. Well, Nick, thanks for wasting a smoko break on us. Will you approve this podcast? Hell yeah, I will. Yay. Yay. All right, we'll take a fucking round of wings to go.

All right, I'll get them sent a fucking round of wings to go. All right. I'll get them sent over. Good on you, mate. And if they turn up cold, I'm fucking sending them straight back. Oh, I will be fucking carrying them. I will not be happy if they're cold. And don't forget the ranch. Okay.

We'll figure it out. There might be a fire burning on that plane to keep them hot. Hey, it's Nick from Cleveland and I approve the podcast. Alright, so coming up on today's show, we're launching the Fuck It Fund. Yes. And it's going to change your life, but you're also going to hear Tony make one of the most outrageous claims that I've ever heard.

And I've heard some outrageous claims. Not that outrageous. Fuck. I reckon people, yeah, okay, we'll get to that. I also have a great story about our good friend of the show, Carla Conti. Really? Yep. Okay. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, Carla Conti. Really? Yep. Okay.

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. They're coming up today. Yeah, it's coming up today. Is it Deadpool related? No. Okay. We also watched Deadpool over the weekend. We did.

Because Ryan got a new TV and wants to show it off. I've got my thoughts, actually. Yeah, we'll get to that after we chat about the fuck it fund. But before we talk about Carla Conti. I want to know. I need to write all this stuff down. Yeah, sorry. Actually, we have a shared Google Drive and all of that information is on there.

Where's Carla Conti? It's in, you'll have to see it. Great. So if you could just chill out and trust me. No. Yeah, I trust you. No, you don't. It makes sense now.

Do you like, you know when the flight attendant does their little spiel, we're flying this high, we're going to serve the lunch, blah, blah, blah, here's the exit. The safety briefing? No, it's more just like the welcome. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, Chrissy's taking care like the welcome oh yeah yeah chrissy's taking care of the cabin they're like come and say hi we're here to help you yeah do you like when they try to do a bit of comedy or is it a bit fucking cringe i'm a bit natalie and braulia

about it because i do like it because i like that they're trying to obviously jazz up something that they say 60,000 times a day. Yeah. Like they make the exact same speech. You can hear the way that they say it, that they've memorised it, they know exactly what they're saying and you know like when you hear them do the speech and one thing is different because like they go, and today we're landing in Melbourne. Yeah.

Like everything else is just like perfectly spoken and then it's like. And we hope you have a great evening. Yeah. Yeah. What fucking time is it? Yeah. So I kind of like when they inject a little bit of zhuzh. Okay.

And enjoy the rest of your insert time of day here. Literally, yeah. Enjoy the chicken or beef. Beef. So the flight attendant the other day on a flight I was on started doing a bit of comedy and stuff. And all. Oh, hang on. Do you mean like she jazzed up her.

No, I mean like jokes, like doing gear, like a tight five. And I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt. I was cringe and wanted to jump off the plane. But to give them the benefit of the doubt, I was cringe and wanted to jump off the plane, but to give them the benefit of the doubt, I will perform the jokes to you and you tell me if these are good or if these are let me out, I'll catch the bus. Hang on. So you don't just mean like, oh, and we're flying high today, thanks to our captain or something.

You're talking like, so how about the airplane? Yeah. I didn't even mean to do that. That would have been better. That would have been better. Oh, my God. And, again, when you're at a comedy club, you've chose to go to a comedy club.

Yeah. When you're on a plane, you can't choose to leave. Captive audience. But, like, if you bomb, then what? Then you've got to stay there and hand them food? You can't say bomb on a plane. That's the first thing. But if you bomb, then what? Then you've got to stay there and hand them food? We can't say bomb on a plane. That's the first thing. But if you...

It was cringe. Should the next time I get on a plane, should I roll out some gear? No. I should just stand up in the aisle and just go... Work on some stuff. Just work on some gear. Hey, guys, I'm working on some material. Let me know what you think.

Just in my new gear. All right, lay it on me. See, I think that I wouldn't have minded this. What was it? And again, I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt. I'm going to try and deliver this well. But also you hate awkward stuff. I do.

Like whenever you're watching a movie with an awkward scene, you bury your face. Yeah, I put my head in my T-shirt. So, oh. This is the comedy the flight attendant attempted. Tell me if you think it's good. Okay. If anyone is caught smoking on the plane,

we'll have to ask them to step outside. Yeah, that is not a real laugh. That is not a real laugh. I was thinking you would hate this. Are you laughing because it's shit? No, I like that because where are they going to go? I mean, that's the joke. You're laughing.

I'm laughing at you laughing. That's different. I think that's quite funny. Maybe it would be different if when I heard these, you were sitting next to me and you were pissing yourself. Then maybe I would have laughed and not tried to hide in the toilet. You should have stepped outside with the guys going for a ciggy. We like to ask you to step outside.

I cannot believe you think this is funny. Speaking of smoking, though, the other day, you know, the safety videos that they do now they don't even say it like you watch the video and there was one and it was like Qantas through the years yeah is that Qantas is celebrating like 100 years or whatever and the thing in the 70s is like oh in the 70s you used to be able to smoke complaints not anymore though so cigarettes are prohibited as as well as e-cigarettes, whatever they are. That did do you in. Like the games, they have to say it. But then she's like dressed up, she's got like the 70s makeup on,

she's got like those bobs, she's like whatever they are. And like winks at the camera, it's so good. It's like, mate, we know you filmed it this year. You don't need to wink. We know you didn't film this scene in the 70s because someone 50 years ago said, let's film one scene every 10 years because in 2022 our safety video will be a trip back in time. No, we get it, mate.

You've just made this video. Fuck, that did weird. Anyway, yeah, next. By the way, this is the flight when I was coming home from Byron Bay a few weeks ago. Oh. Thanks for joining us on flight JS217 or whatever it is from Ballinat to Melbourne. Some people have

considered catching the bus compared to the plane, but you just can't see buses taking off. Nah, not our best work. No. That one's not our best work. Nah, no, no, no. I'll give you that one. That one's not our best. You know how now, and I think this is because of

COVID, because people's patience was tested, you know how you now see a lot of signs everywhere saying, almost reminding you to not be rude to staff. And that's not just in plans. That's like in cafes and supermarkets, the bank. And it says like, rudeness will not be tolerated and stuff like that. Or you call a place with a call centre and they're like, just a reminder to treat our staff with respect.

Like the volumes are high and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there was one of those lines. Oh, yep. We ask and remind you to treat our airline staff with dignity and respect. Nice. No one likes someone with a bad altitude. We just want you to know if you're on the bus, no altitude.

Got a bad altitude. I'm currently at two feet. That's hilarious. That's very funny. I'm so surprised. Okay, so we're two out of three. Okay. How many have you got?

One more. Okay. And by this stage, my head was in my T-shirt. I couldn't turn my headphones up loud enough. I was just like sitting there being like, oh, my goodness. Shortly the cabin crew will ask you if you'd like lunch served on this flight. Your options are yes or no. Do you know what I reckon it is?

What? Is that you know how, like, aeroplane food is, like, blander because your tastes are heightened in the sky? Yeah, yeah. The jokes don't need to be as good because you're in the air. Well, I've said one drink in the sky is worth four on the ground. Yeah. So if someone's had a sniff of whiskey, they're like,

this bitch is hilarious. Yeah. So it's fine. Hey, it's Nick from Cleveland, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Just before we get to our very exciting announcement, I'd like to give a massive shout-out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. You can check it out any time you'd like to. All the links are in our show notes and in our bios on Instagram, Facebook.

What's the other one? TikTok. Yep. MySpace. Can we start a show, MySpace? No. Okay. No, sorry.

Let me rephrase. Yeah, but I don't want to do it. Oh, okay. Well, then no. You don't want to do it either? No. I've already got enough things I need to post to you. Yeah, that's true.

Yeah. What was it? Weebo? Beebo. Oh, Beebo. Beebo. Should we get on Beebo? I never had Beebo.

Are you sure it's not Weebo? I'm pretty sure it's Bebo. Okay. Do you know what I liked? Neopets. What's Neopets? Is that like a Tamagotchi? No.

Well, yeah, I guess so. You've got to keep it alive. Oh, yeah. Well, a Tamagotchi is like a thing, but Neopets is like a website. Yeah. And you go on there and you could like play games. You had to like feed your Neopet and stuff. But I actually, this is so fucking random,

but I created a Neopets account like only a couple of years ago because I just wanted to play the games. It's like Animal Farm. What's Animal Farm? Sorry. Oh, no. It's like games and you just feed the thing and like you can buy clothes for your Neopet and shit like that.

And anyway, you know when you like log into a website and Google Chrome says like, oh, this password has been compromised or whatever, and it was from Neopet. You've been hacked. I got hacked from like a data breach at Neopets. What are they going to do? Well, I don't know. It was years ago.

My horse is vegan. Someone's signed in and given him meat! Well, no, it was like access to my email and stuff. Like, it was like my login details. Tony at Neopets.com.au. No, well, you don't have a... What? I don't know how the game works. It's clear I don't know. Have you ever logged

into something when you do your banking? Is it Ryan at Bank.com? No. Don't say my banking details on the podcast. Please don't steal my money, everyone. But if you want to log in and pay my mortgage, you can do that. That's very funny. Mortgage gear because you own a house now.

ryan.john at nationalaustraliabank.com.au. But like that's – so it's not Tony at Neopets. It's like my – Sorry, that makes a lot more sense. I would think so, yeah. Okay. Shout out to Neopets. Mary Walto, thank you so much.

Colin Clarkson, CC. CC. CC and dry. Yep. I CC him on my emails from ryan at nab.com. I BCC. Bye, Colin Clarkson. Alicia Jane, thanks so much.

Katie Lino and Nicole Hathaway. You're okay, mate. Excuse me. You just take a sip out of your Frank Greenwater bottle. I'll take a sip of my cappuccino over here. Soy cap, thank you very much. Tony bought this coffee for me this morning. I did.

Yeah, we're friends. Now thank you to our champion tapas. A big thank you to everybody. And we've got a fun announcement. That's for everybody. This isn't just Patreons. This is everyone. This is everyone.

And can I say, Tony has a finance team. We know this. For over a year we've known this. Ryan's got a fucking email at the bank. That's our dude. I'm writing that. But we are now, I would say, in the finance game because we are launching our own fund.

We are launching a fund. Our new fund, which is what we're launching today, is called the Fuck It Fund. And I want you to have a ponder about something you've always wanted to do in your life but you've never really had the chance, the opportunity or maybe the money to actually go, fuck it. Yeah. Let's do it.

Yeah. Some of the examples we thought was like the obvious one of like skydiving, which is actually quite expensive. Yeah. But I think it's on a lot of people's list. They're like, I'd want to do it one time. Yeah, I want to do it before I die. It's on your bucket list.

I've never got around to a swim with a shark. Or maybe just buy that hot as fuck dress for the weekend, but maybe you couldn't justify it to your partner. Oh, times are tough. Budget's tight. Spending to look hot as fuck at that big party. This is where the fuck it fund comes in because you can apply and we're going to hit you up with $500 to say fuck it, I'm doing it.

Yeah. So basically anything on your bucket list that you couldn't say fuck it list, we want to help you out. We want to make your dreams come true. And whilst this is exciting, people who listen to the podcast have literally made our dreams come true. Yeah, so we want to return the favour. And this sounds sappy and fucking cheesy and lame as fuck. I get that.

It does. But this is our way of saying thank you for changing our lives. Let us change yours right back. Because $500 is a lot to go and, like, do something random. Yeah, and it's not like, oh, great, thanks for the cash I put in my pocket. No, no, no. No, no, no. We need video evidence.

We want to, like, document the whole thing. So if you say it is skydiving, we want a video of you saying, Tony and Ryan are taking me skydiving. But don't post it anywhere if you crash and die. No. Because don't blame us. There are T's and C's. There are T's and C's on the website.

Enter at your own risk. But basically what we want to do is offer you the chance to do that. However, a small caveat, it's $500. So if you go, I've always wanted to go to Paris. I've always wanted to go to the moon. We're not fucking sending you to Paris. Well, we can if you're in London. If you're already pretty close.

And you want to go cuddle class on the Eurostar under the sea. We can probably cover that. We can probably do that. But, like, so we can't send you to Paris, but, you know, maybe we could get you high tea at the Ritz while you're in Paris. Yeah. Or tickets to the Moulin Rouge or whatever. You know, like, think outside the box a little bit.

Now, Tony and I started thinking about what we would do with our Fuck It Fun thing. Yep. What's something, like, what's a dream we had that we could make come true with $500? Tony and I started thinking about what we would do with our Fuck It Fund thing. Yep. And. What's something, like what's a dream we had that we could make come true with $500? Now, I don't, this is a tough one because I feel like I don't want. Nothing tough about it. I don't want to like poo poo anyone's ideas, but I feel like there's some asterisks surrounding yours.

No, there isn't. So, Tony. Mm-hmm. If you were to be chosen. Yep. to receive $500 from the Fuck It Fund and lots of people will be chosen, toninryan.com.au, what would you do with the cash? What is your goal? What is your dream?

Okay, so my dream is to bowl a perfect game at Ten Pin Bowling and so all I would need to make that happen is like 24 hours at a bowling alley just a lane to myself yep and I I reckon that I could do it no not I reckon I know I could that if I had a bowling alley to myself a lane to myself that I could you know just keep going that is my dream to bowl a perfect game so I think and assume people will be with me here when I go, this sounds great, but the money can't guarantee the perfect. Like that's up to you. Oh, no, no, no.

So my dream is to bowl a perfect game. Cool story, bud. Mine's to win the Olympic marathon. So what I'm saying is all I need is the lane and I can do the rest. I know that the money can't make me bowl a perfect game. How long since you've bowled? Shh, but I can. How long since you've bowled?

Probably like a year or two. How many times have you bowled in the last decade? Oh, lots. So you're a regular bowler? Not a regular bowler, but my mum was on the Olympic Championship bowling team for Australia. Olympic Championship bowling team for Australia. Olympic Championship bowling team? Not Olympics.

I don't think they do champion bowling. But the Australian team. They don't have top-off games. In the Australian team. But the Australian team, she played in America, she played in Singapore. Really? Yes.

She had the green and gold track suit and everything. And you think it's in the jeans? I'm fucking hoping so. I know it is. What's the highest you've bowled? Probably like 110. For the game being 300? Yep.

So with your fucking fun money. Yep. If I win, you know, if I'm chosen, fingers crossed. You're going to hire a lane for 24 hours? Yep. Because that's all I need. If I've got 24 hours, I'll get there. 100%.

Yep. Okay. Yeah. Well, I'm. Why don't you believe in me? No, I just have respect for the perfect game. Yeah. Well, I'm. Why don't you believe in me? No, I just have respect for the perfect game. Yeah. And you're going to respect the fuck out of me in 24 hours when I've done it.

Absolutely. I'm just. Yeah. So hopefully I get chosen. Fingers crossed. I'll write a really good email. No, we're going to do that for you. Well, please message in.

Turn in Ryan.com. Yeah, let's just say. We need to do this just because I'm so curious now. Okay. I do agree that by the end of 24 hours you'll be significantly better than when you started. Yeah, true. But the perfect, like you only need to miss once and then, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, like, if I miss once then I'll just start the game again. Okay. Because it's like I've ruined that chance, like, next go. Okay. You know what I mean? Yeah, I get you. All right.

Well, if you think my dream's shit, what's yours? No, I just, no, the dream is great. Oh, no, I can't Yeah, I get you. All right. Well, if you think my dream's shit, what's yours? No, I just, no. The dream is great. Oh, no, I can't fucking wait to hear yours. You think mine's fucking. Oh, Tony, there's no way you can do that. Fucking lay your dream on me, dickhead. Sorry.

I'm just feeling a bit defensive because you think my dream is shit. Please don't put words in my mouth. What I'm saying is your dream is fantastic. I'm just saying it's going to come down to your skill and maybe not the 500. Mate. Okay, here's my dream. That's what I'm saying.

I've already got the skill. I just need the money for the line. Okay, you know what? Fucking I'm supposed to be number one hype man. I need to get my attitude sorted. Thank you. I've got a bad altitude at the moment and I need to sort it out. And fucking, you know what?

It's the fuck it fund. Fuck it. We're doing it. I'm going to see you bowl 300. That's the attitude I need to sort it out and you fucking, you know what? It's the fuck it fund. Thank you. Fuck it. We're doing it. I'm going to see you bowl 300. That's the attitude I need from you, my man. Thank you. Do you need like a bowl polisher?

Sure. I'll come and polish your balls in the mood. I'm probably going to need someone to rub my shoulders because I reckon I'm going to be pretty tired by the end. Yeah, I agree. All right. So I grew up in Melbourne. Yeah.

Congratulations. And every summer my mum and my auntie Linda and David and their kids, my cousins Bonnie and Rowdy, we would like hire a- Rowd. Rowdy. My cousin's name Rowdy. Do you not know that? No.

Yeah, Rowdy. Bonnie and Rowd. And Rowdy, yeah. Bonnie and Rowdy. Yeah. The legal name is Rowdy. Yeah. Right?

R-A-U-D-I-E. He's now a DJ in France and Germany. I could imagine. Yeah. DJ Rowdy. Yeah. Right. R-A-U-D-I-E. He's now a DJ in France and Germany. I could imagine. Yeah. DJ Rowdy. No, DJ River Yarra. Because he's representing Melbourne. DJ, like he changed his name to like a real generic name.

Carl. He performed at Meredith last year. He's actually really fucking good. Anyway. Where's Meredith? It's a really big music festival. Oh, cool. Anyway, we're off topic.

Sorry. So we used to go down to the Great Ocean Road and, like, you know, stay at the Caravan Park or, like, you know, and you, like, rent a house for the week or something. The chalet thing and stuff, yeah. So we used to do that and every summer I would drive past and there's this random as fuck house that sticks out from the hill on the Great Ocean Road.

It's called the Pole House. Oh, my God. It's got a big- Like a little bridge, like a footbridge. There's a bridge over it and the house is like round or like octagonal. I think it's a square, but it's just a random square in the middle of- I know the house you're talking about. I've seen it on stays.com.au.

If you Google like Great Ocean Road house, it'll be the first one. Yeah. And they call it the Pole House because there's literally a pole sticking out of the ocean and there's a fucking house on top. Yeah. And what did you just say you saw it on? Stays.com.au. This is not sponsored, by the way.

It sounds like it is. We are paying for this. It's not a sponsor. So my whole childhood I always just looked at it because even when you're swimming at the beach you can see it. It's a straight up. And I'm like, fuck, imagine just going in there. That is a great dream.

And now it's an Airbnb or a Stays or whatever. How much is it per night? I don't know. I don't know if we're going to get that for $500. Well. Maybe we could go there for an hour. I was going to say, it doesn't need to be the weekend. Even if it's one night or an afternoon, it might need to be a lot.

We'll go on a Tuesday during winter. I don't know if we can get it for the night, but we could have a look. I just know that my whole- You've got a budget. I've got a budget. I'll see what I can do. I just know that I've seen this place for the last 35 years. That is a great one.

And I've always thought, I wonder what it looks like- On the inside. To look out from there. Yeah. I'm always looking up at it. What is it like to be in it looking back down at the beach? I love that. Great one.

I probably couldn't justify spending $500 plus just because, oh, Bridge, when I grew up I used to look at this place and I'd like to see what it looks like. Yeah. She goes, Google it, mate. Yeah, look at a photo. Look at it on stays.com. We've just bought our own place. We've got a mortgage.

You keep whinging about a car. Maybe you should put in that money to buy a fucking car and not look at the inside of a building. Yeah. Hey, fuck it. Let's do it. Let's do it from the fucking front. Yeah. So this is what we're talking about, things that like your partner has gone,

we can't do that or we're not paying for that or just something fun, something zingy, something exciting. You know, we're not going to bloody pay your rego. We're not going to, you know, fuck that off. Yeah. We're doing things that you go, oh, my God, I'm going to tell my kids or my grandkids about this. So we're going to be doing this in 2023. So we're getting it started now. So get your applications in because we're going things that you go, oh, my God, I'm going to tell my kids or my grandkids about this. So we're going to be doing this in 2023.

So we're getting it started now. So get your applications in because we're going to be choosing a whole bunch of people. And it literally says on the form, like you were saying, the more fun and exciting, the better. Surprise me. Surprise us. Show me creativity.

Like write something that we go, oh, I wouldn't have thought of that, like bowling the perfect game. So if you go to tonyandryan.com.au right now there's a tab that says fuck it fund you'll be able to fill in the form there's like word restrictions we don't want your fucking essay we don't want your fucking life story we've got to gonna have a lot to read through okay fuck it I'm hiring someone to read all the entries all right um but it's really really exciting so we can't wait right fucking hell we can't wait to read people's um applications

over christmas because it'll be like over the break that we get to go through them all um fucking exciting we're in the finance game we've got our own fund got our own fund vc bros is that what that is i don't know crypto is that that oh no it's probably not no no okay crypto's not having a great month slash the year slash life if it hasn't been your day, week, your month, or even your year, but I'll be there for you. When the rain starts to pour, join the Farket Fund. All right, very quickly we are going to talk about this week's movie, which was Deadpool.

Yeah, so I got a brand new smart TV and the category was like, hey, let's stretch your legs. Stretch your legs! That's what they, you know. Yeah, no, that's just really funny. Yeah, let's see what she's got. Let the horsies out the paddock kind of thing. She's made me laugh.

I want to see what she's made of. Give me a beautiful visual movie that can really like, I've never had a HD TV before. And someone goes, replied and goes, Ryan, that's ridiculous. Every TV is HD since 2004. Fuck off, mate. I reckon I got this pre-2004. Yeah, I reckon you did as well.

It was not in good shape. No. But the category was movies to watch on a smart TV. Ryan said, I have moved into a futuristic world of smart TVs, which is very funny. Here I am. Hopefully you guys can join me one day. One of the options was Lux listing Sydney.

Tapa Tiffany reckons she'll die on this hill. Apparently it changes your settings and sets up your TV. I don't know if that's right. I don't think it's true either. But I do appreciate that they film those shows on juicy cameras because they're trying to show off the house. Oh, and it does look like when you watch Lux Listings and when you watch like Selling Sunset and stuff,

like it is beautiful and the drawing shots are incredible. And can I say I do love a YouTube like, you know, there's that category of YouTube videos. It's like, oh, come and check out this $30 million apartment. Because they have them on AD. So I was like, I like where your head's at, Tiffany, but unfortunately. But it didn't win, unfortunately. Casino Royale, random choice.

Interstellar, which was my pick. I thought that would, because it does look good on a TV. That only got 14%, which I was surprised about. With Casino Royale, I will defend a James Bond. They are beautifully shot. Oh, sure. So it was a bit interesting. But also, I Royale, I will defend a James Bond. They are beautifully shot. Oh, sure. So it was a bit interesting. But also I'm pretty, I don't know if it's like a rule,

but as I think about it, most Bond movies, like the first 30 minutes is in Europe and then there's a thing in Asia and then they're at the beach. So you see a lot of different lighting, a lot of colours. Scenery. Because Casino Royale is that famous one where Daniel Craig walks out of the beach and he's like little swimmers and he's in the Caribbean and it's like all in the Bahamas and it's all like sexy and stuff.

I don't think I've watched a James Bond movie. I don't think I've ever watched one. The podcast didn't stop. Ryan just needs a moment. Really? No, I literally don't think I've ever watched one. And I am like a TV watcher. I've never watched a James Bond film.

I have a new fuck it fund. Oh, what is it? I want to hire out. Go to Europe and recreate James Bond. $500. Yeah. Do you reckon you could hire out the whole gold class? You can.

It's fucking expensive though, I think. Because isn't there only like, you know the small ones that has like 10 seats Well if you did that at like somewhere Like a Luna cinema Luna's in Perth but like A small one When there's 8 seats and you go cool I'll book the 8 seats And then we can watch James Bond together

Okay that's a great one actually That is a great one So another idea for people Anyway that did not win Anything by David Attenborough was one of the options, 34%, but Deadpool won with 45%. And I would say over the last few weeks, because we did the category of things that convince me

that musicals aren't shit, we've done other bits and pieces. And there's been a bit of a brouhaha about like, hang on, are the Tarpers choosing their favourite movie or are they sticking to the script and doing what's right? And picking what is good for the category. The category, yeah, because some people were annoyed about that. I know that's your favourite musical but Ryan would hate that. Yep, or it's not a good bridge to liking them.

Let me go on the record and especially, do you remember the first minute of Deadpool? Yeah. liking them. Yep. Let me go on the record and especially, well, do you remember the first minute of Deadpool? Yeah. Where it's that super slow-mo standstill. Yeah. The Tarpers have got it right. It is an incredible, like even if you don't like Deadpool,

it's shot on the juiciest camera. It is beautiful, yeah. And when I've never seen, because I've watched, I've probably watched movies that are made on a juicy camera on my shit TV and never really thought about it. So obviously these, I don't know how they do it, but it's like they're frozen time and the camera's moving so you get all the different angles. And I was sitting there with Bron, we were sitting on the floor right up in front of the TV because we didn't get the big one like you suggested, so I had to sit closer. But I was like, fucking this is sick.

It's really good. I felt like I could see every wr like, wrinkle of his suit. Yeah, and the fibres coming off. And when there was, like, an explosion, you're like. It's sick, eh? I don't know how the fuck they made that movie. Yeah. I actually saw it at the cinema.

Was it unreal? Yeah, so the sound was awesome. Like, the film, like, just looked incredible. It's a really good movie. I actually really like the film. Yeah, but it looks beautiful as well. Remember how last Friday I said, has a film been better written for a specific actor than Jack Black in School of Rock?

It's so Ryan Reynolds, isn't it? Yeah, 100%. It's such a cliche to be like, no other actor could have done it. But I just can't actually see. Like they're looking to the camera and it's like a bit cheeky and it's funny. And it's really like self-aware. The Green Lantern jokes?

The Green Lantern jokes. You know, like just all of that stuff I just find really entertaining because I'm like, oh, you're not taking yourself too seriously but it's still a good movie because you know when sometimes they take that a little bit too far? And you're like, we get it. And you go, yeah. That's a bit cringe.

Good job, everyone. Fucking good work. Great movie and lovely to watch on your telly. Yeah. Yeah. Have you seen, had you watched the movie before? I don't think the whole thing. Right.

So you haven't seen the sequel, obviously, because the sequel's very good as well. Okay, no. No, I have a history of like, I reckon I'd watch the first two thing. Right. So you haven't seen the sequel, obviously, because the sequel's very good as well. Okay, no. No, I have a history of like I reckon I'd watch the first two scenes. Yeah, yeah. The scene's like 10 minutes. Yeah. It's very like in parts or whatever.

So when I say the first two scenes, I reckon I've watched the first half an hour. Yeah. But then I got to a point where I'm like, oh, no, this is new because I didn't realise how the doctor guy was like because at first you're just like, oh, he's a guy. You don't really know what's going on. Yeah.

I mean, that's most movies, isn't it? It's terrifying. Yeah. The whole like no oxygen thing. Yeah, for the whole weekend as well. You have no oxygen for a weekend. But it's like it gives you just enough to keep living. So you're like, I'd rather just fucking die.

Die, yeah. Yeah. When they explained that, I'd rather just fucking die. Die, yeah. Yeah. Exclusive. When they explained that, I actually had shivers. Chills. Yeah, it's fucked. And then I was like, oh, I don't like the HD. It feels too real now.

It's very close, isn't it? Yeah. Well, I have written a rap about. Dying with no oxygen. Well, I probably wrote a rap more about the category than I did about Deadpool itself. Did you start writing the rap before we knew the winner? What? Can't hear you putting the music on.

Something smattenbra and the winner was David Jedpool. Rapping about this week's movie, watching things look good on Ryan's TV. He's never had a smart TV, you know. How did it go? Is your mind blown? Did you like how it was so much easier? Yep. How did you live?

Now the screen is clearer. Wait, I didn't talk about the film yet. Everyone's going to say I didn't. Watch it. You didn't watch it. You didn't watch it. You clear. I did actually watch it. I will not make any accusations. I did watch it. You didn't watch it. You clearly didn't watch it. I did actually watch it. I will not make any accusations.

I did watch it. It sounds like it. Torbs and I watched it last night. It sounds like it. Ask me a very specific question about the film. Well, I know you already watched it. But, like, not recently. Except for last night.

The crazy doctor in the scene where they're in the car, which is the main, that first scene and where it all happens. Like Ajax? Yeah. Francis slash Ajax? Yeah. Francis slash Ajax. Oh, gold? I did watch it. Oh, I watched it, promise.

No, I actually did. I fucking did watch it. Yeah, well, we had a silver watch, so. Okay. I bet you he didn't. I bet you you don't know either. No, I have no fucking clue. Does he own a watch?

I mean, time stands still. Can he tell the time? Who needs a watch when time stands still in that movie? I have a love to see it about one of our favourite people from the show. Oh, please. Carla Conti. How is Carla? Because I feel like her name is now synonymous with being a Carla Conti.

It is. How is she? Does she like that? Well, we've actually gotten a few messages from people being like, hey, just want to double check that Carla is actually fine with this. Is she cool with this? When it first all kind of came about, I messaged

Carla personally and said, Carla, we've said this on the show, just want to make sure that you're okay with it because we don't want... Because imagine if she was like, please don't call my name. Yeah, I get it. We have actually personally checked in with Carla and she's fine with being referred to as the Carla Conti.

Until now? No, and this just proves it. I got a message from Madison Beer, who actually just got married on the weekend to her partner Hugh, which is very exciting. Madison says, get absolutely fucked. This is how she starts the message. I was at my sister's for dinner and her husband's niece was there

casually talking about school. Like, you know, when you catch up with kids, you go, oh, what grade are you in? What do you like at school? Yeah, what are you studying? Whichever animal, all that shit. And the niece says, my teacher, Carla Conti. What?

Right? Told us her name is used in a podcast that she loves all the time. They are year four. Why do they use your name, miss? And word is spreading and everyone is low-key jealous that this four-year-old knows Carla Conti. So Madison goes, hang on, so you've got access to the Carla Conti? And this niece is like, yeah, and she tells us all the time

that this podcast she loves, I always say her name. And Madison says, you've made it to the education system. This is how cults are made. This is how cults are made. Teach them young. Because one of the many themes of this show is like, what did you just assume was normal? Yeah.

I just grew up with it. That's how it always was. And so the young girl would be like, oh, why do you always say that to Carla Conti? It's just how I've always said it. Yeah. Everyone's always said it that way. Which is so funny.

But, yeah, I love to see that there was like a. Top-ception. Yeah. A crossover. A crossover. A one degree of separation between Madison and her niece. I do love to see that. And Carla Conti, which, yeah, is a great story.

That is fantastic. Thank you. You didn't trust me when I said I had a great story about Carla Conti earlier in the show, didn't you? No, I just didn't know where it was going to be. But? But now I know. Pretty good. It's fucking fantastic.

Thanks for reaching out, Madison. That's great. And congrats on getting married as well. Yeah, well, I mean. Love to see that. But more. That's a side note. But more about the family link to Carla Conti is better. Imagine living in the same town as Carla Conti.

Never know when you're going to run into a Carla Conti. Maya loved to see it. And it's something I've literally seen with my eyes in the last 24 hours was I saw Tony's boyfriend Torbsbs, naked on a Zoom chat. And didn't I just love to fucking see that? Yeah. So Tony and I were on a Zoom. Did you actually see him?

And then walking past in the background because he was looking for a towel. Yeah. No, I think he was looking for his clothes. Oh. And his clothes were in our office because he'd obviously. What, they'd been thrown onto the floor in a moment of passion. Just take it off here, Torbs. Not on my craft table.

Craft table? What's about to be a shaft table if I can get on a tweet up? On Torbs' work bench. Work this bench, am I right? Shaft table, I like that. That'll do me for the week. Oh, watch the hot glue gun. I'm like...

Oh, no, my guillotine. Don't... Watch out for that guillotine. Yeah, so I think he'd left his clothes in there, like, the night before. Was that clag? And he... That'll stick some papers together. Won't it just?

Anyway, yeah, and so... Is there a glue stick in your pocket? Or are you just having a scene? And I felt really bad because I was like, oh, sorry, I'm on Zoom with Ryan. And he goes, yeah, I know. Because he walked past. Yeah. Yeah.

It was a bit too late. Can I just say, because I was at home at the time. And lucky I was at home. Imagine if you'd been at the library or something. Well, more to the point is when I'm at home, I've got my full set up. Your huge screen. Well, if I didn't have dual monitors, I wouldn't have seen it all. Because fucking, you need something to fill a screen up

Get Torbs to whip his towel off And fucking hell Wow I just never thought I didn't realise I'd zoom in I haven't I haven't That's just Whoa

Yep You've got that big curved monitor as well Oh he seems to be just Reaching out with his arm to pick up the towel. Oh, no, what is his two arms doing up there? Oh, that's not his. That's right. Put that apple down, son.

All right. Well, I did not think that this would end with that. Everyone knows at Christmas, you know how they do those big Toblerones? Where do you think they got the inspiration for that? I've been inspired. No screenshots, okay? All right. Only Torbs.

Well, you know what? I love to see that as well. Thanks so much. If you're interested in the Fuck It Fund, you can enter right now for your chance for us to read through all your shit. TonyandRyan.com.au. All your shit. To read through your dreams.

Dreams. Gang country. Join the Ryan and... I've got to finish the up because I've got to poo. Let's get the fuck out of here. Do you need to poo? I need to poo a little bit. Just before I thought I did a little poo, but I think it was just a fart when I was

laughing at the air hostess jokes. All right. Tomorrow, things you can say. No. No. Tomorrow is Christmas pick-up lines. Yeah, we're branching out. Yeah.

Christmas pick-up lines and you're going to fucking love this. Am I? I've got something to say. And it's quite humbling, the thing that happened. Right. Yeah. And I'm not talking about me boyfriend. That's humbling. That's humbling.

That's humbling for me. Alright, we'll chat to you tomorrow. Love you, bye.