Toni and Ryan - Ryan's formal complaint

Episode Date: September 27, 2023

I'm not sure if Ryan can come back from this one!! Love u xoCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Hello. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge and we're calling Taylor in Brisbane. Oh, I like the weather in Brisbane, but only for a little bit. Then it gets too hot. Then it's too much and I need to go home. You like until 11 a.m.

Yep. And I don't like walking anywhere in a Harry Potter outfit. No. Whilst in Brisbane. It's a very specific and pointed statement. It's too humid for me. Oh, hello. Hello. Hey, it. Taylor. Hello.

Hey, it's Tony and Ryan. Have we woken you up, Taylor? No, no. I was just feeding my baby. Oh. Oh, hello, baby. Hello, baby. Sorry to interrupt breakfast time.

Yeah. So. Not at all. Well, does you and the baby approve today's podcast? Absolutely. Oh, great. Excellent. Well, go and enjoy your breakfast then.

Girls got to eat. Oh, thank you. Hey, it's Taylor from Tony and I are holding hands right now. Why are we holding hands? Just because I love you. Okay. Coming up today. Bruce, you can sit back.

It's okay. I'm in a dispute with the Airbnb host that I stayed in the Airbnb. They've claimed I fucked up their property and they're fucking wrong. No. And. You know that this is like so scary for me to listen to. There's a little bit of back and forth. Hang on.

What? What? You. Nothing. What? Did you book that under my account? No, this is a different one. Oh.

No. Oh, my God. different one. Oh. No. Oh, my God. I just panicked so hard. No, no, no. That was a different one. This one, I was in New Zealand. The other one was also in New Zealand. That one was fine that I booked under your name.

Okay. And by the way, when I say booked under Tony's name, it's because she wanted the fucking status credits and points. It wasn't like she was doing me a favour. I wanted the Qantas points, yeah. Yeah, I was doing her a favour. So everyone just back the fuck up. Yeah, oh, but I just, but still, you've got to respect the account.

I think when you'll hear the wild bogus claims that this Airbnb person's made. Okay, can we just pause and appreciate the term bogus claims? Love that. Thank you, Tracy Grimshaw, for coming in today. You're welcome. Yeah, very good. Very current affair vibes. Thank you.

There's been a bit of back and forth. I've replied in a somewhat stern and legal tone. And it's gone back and forth. I do have a resolution to share with you. However, us in real time, I'm yet to review the property. Oh. So, I'm about to leave a public review that other people looking at their house are going to leave. And I believe they haven't had many people.

So when people look at her, they're going to scroll down and they're going to see my review. Which I think wields a lot of power. It does. Especially when they have been hanging out on a certain island that rhymes with runt. What's the word I'm trying to say? Some f***ing island. Oh, DCI. DCI.

Yeah. They live on DCI. Oh. So, I think together as a family, we can write a review and let her know what we f***ing think. Because you know that their reviews, your review doesn't post until they also write one. No. So, I've read what they're- You're going to hear what they've written about me.

And then I've read that. Bold of them. Yeah. Bold. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I've read that. Bold of them. Yeah. Bold of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I'm on board. They've made a bogus claim. They've left a pretty fucking shit review.

And I'm like, oh, we'll see who has the last laugh here, shall we? That was a great crack of the wrist, by the way. Oh, do we have to do normal or not? I'm really excited about that. Yeah, no, we've got to do normal. Oh, okay. I actually just need to take a break because if I write the review now, we'll never say it in Airbnb again.

We're wild right up. Yeah. Riled right up. Yep. What did you say? I said wild right up. I'll give you a wild right up. Okay.

Normal or nah. Normal or nah. Thanks for submitting these in the Facebook group, by the way. Shaking the milk bottle before use. Madeline asks, normal or nah? When I leave the milk on the counter at work, one colleague always grabs the milk, twists it really tight, and shakes it all up to the point where it's pretty much foaming

out the top of the bottle just to put like a little drop in his coffee. And it drives me insane, says Madeline. Is shaking the milk normal or nah? Normal. I do it every time. Yeah. And not only, so, you know, with like a plant-based milk, you should shake it because it can settle,

especially like almond or oat milk. I shake cow milk every time. I'd shake orange juice. Absolutely, I always shake the bottle before I pour it out and I don't know why. If there's milk that's like Two days past its use by Then you throw it out and buy some more milk Or juice that's like five or six days past its use by

I go, I wonder if that's past its use by And for some reason in my mind it's going It's fine now It's like when it's touch and go You go, oh, I'll just give it a shake. Oh, if there's a bit of resin residue that's gone to the top or it's got a bit, you know, milk, it's a bit like a bit chewy. No, I don't. Because I use it or throw it out. It's not chewy.

Chewy milk. That's cheese. That's in a different part of the fridge. That's not supposed to be in a bottle. Your chewy milk is the cheese. You love cheese. That's in a different part of the fridge. That's not supposed to be in a bottle. Your chewy milk is the cheese. You love cheese. Yes. I love cheese that's supposed to be in the right area of the fridge.

Do you know what cheese is like in four different areas of the supermarket? They need to fucking get their story straight. Don't try and pass the baton of shame here. Speaking of making shit up. You can't be doing that, mate. We'll talk about that later. That's not good. Cheyenne says.

Hi, Cheyenne. When I've listened to an audio book, I'll say I've read it because it makes me sound smarter and more legit. Listen to sounds like a podcast, and we all know any old fuckhead can make a podcast. Okay, Cheyenne, that feels a bit fucking pointed, doesn't it? A bit aggressive. What I will say- Not wrong.

Yeah. But we have claimed many times that this is not an educational podcast. This is a brain break. Yeah. Ryan just talked about chewy milk. I mean, you can't blame us for that. The thing is about the listened to the audio book thing, I don't know either because you say, oh, I read this,

and you go, oh, did you? And then they go, yeah, I listened to the audio book. It's the same. It is the same, but I agree with Cheyenne. When someone says I listened to this, I go, I mean, did you fucking even bother trying? But you like audiobooks. Yeah, because I can't read, but I can hear.

Yeah. I can take stuff in. I was about to say orally. I can take stuff in audibly. Well, it is orally. Thank you. Yeah. I'm an oral guy.

Don't I know. My love language is oral as well, so that's good. Are you an acts of service or acts of gifts? Well, my love language is sucking dick. Lung language, go right down. I think that you can say I read this book, but like I think it every time and I've actually been the same been the annoying arsehole that has said when someone has said to me like i read this book

i'm like oh don't you listen to audio books i'm like what a jerk like why did i say that yeah i don't know but i think that it's just as much time investment like it's just as powerful a thing like and even when people say to me like oh i didn't buy your physical book I just listened to the audio book I'm like that's amazing You've still taken the whole thing in And I read I narrated the audio book of my book So I'm like you've listened to me talk to you that's great

Taylor asks Hi Taylor Normal or nah vacuuming the coffee table Tony's pulled a face and she's correct My partner thinks it's perfectly normal too. However, I think it's fucking gross and it's a massive nah. You might as well wipe it down with a sweaty sock says Taylor. Taylor says, side note, this move got him banned from vacuuming. Is he gross or is it

a genius move to get him out of chores? Weaponising competence. But he wasn't incompetent. He was doing it. No, but he goes, oh, yeah, and then I'll just vacuum the coffee table. And you go, what the hell? Say if you've got a wooden floorboard. WTF the hell? What you'd say? Say if you've got wooden floorboards.

Yeah. And a wooden coffee table top. Yeah. What's the difference? The vacuum cleaner has been all through the house on the ground and then you're going to put it on the coffee table where like you might like put food or something. Do you have a plate in between your food and your coffee table? Yeah.

Honestly? Yes. What am I going to put a piece of toast on the coffee table? We know that I use the breadboard and I'm on the record saying that. Yeah, no, you are on the record saying that. The thing is, is that you're putting, like, the vacuum cleaner, which has been, yeah, all through the house. And, like, I vacuum in the bathroom because it's, like, our house gets,

our house is disgusting, gets really, really dusty because we're at the bottom of a, like, at the bottom of an apartment building and everyone's muck and grime and germies comes down into our house and so our house gets really, really dusty. And so I vacuum, like, in the bathroom and stuff, like- Dust, hair, mold. Dust, hair, like, those little dust bunnies that kind of, like, create. And then putting that on the coffee table where, like-

Because would I eat on the floor? Like, no. But would I eat on the coffee table? Yes. Maybe. Yeah. Because sometimes I, like, sit on the- We've got one of those

Like little like foot Poof things Yes And I'll sit on that They don't like that You can't say that Sorry Cam But so I sit on that

At the coffee table And I'll like eat my dinner Because our dining table Is fucking disgusting And awful And always covered in laundry So I eat at the table At the coffee table

Yeah And I feel like I want to be Grown up Yeah Surely you would never I mean you would never vacuum But surely you would never Eat at the table at the coffee table. Yeah. But I feel like I want to be grown up. Yeah. Surely you would never, I mean, you would never vacuum, but surely you would never vacuum a coffee table. Fuck you, no.

No, I know that is your job at home. I don't do a lot, but I do do that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So he says. I vacuumed yesterday. Oh, yes, I've got this massive dust bunny. You should have seen it.

It's more just BJ's hair. I had hair on a BJ. Yeah. I actually do hate that. I don't think anyone loves it. Kevin's just thrown up in the corner. And that was coffee in the mouth as well. Yeah.

Because you know when sometimes after you, well, you guys wouldn't get this, but, like, as a girl, right? Don't tell me what I don't get. No, no, no, no, no. When I – because I've got long hair. When you wash your hair, you get, like, long hairs, like, in your butt crack. Oh, yeah, yeah. I've had – yeah. Yeah.

Caleb's got pretty long hair at the moment. Yeah, happened to me. So, then later on when you're, like, at the end of the shower, you kind of have to, like, wash your butt crack to get the, like, hair that's, like, slipped down out. So, that means you can't wash your butt first. You've got to wait at the end of the shower you can't have like wash your butt crack to get the like hair that's like slipped down out so that means you can't wash your butt first you gotta wait till the end well you can do both but you've got to give it a quick swipe at the end to make sure that any of the long head hair gets out of the bum and because my hair is often about the house and if maybe like torbs has used my towel or something,

then sometimes if a long hair has happened to traverse its way into another part of someone else's body from the home, and I'm not talking about pip half, then sometimes I go, that's a long one. I go, oh, that's one of mine. So it's gone from my butt to your junk back into my face. What a journey. Yeah.

That little hair. Yeah. It's kind of nice, isn't it? It's actually quite romantic. What a journey. Is it? Yeah. I don't think so.

He found his way back to his mama. Well, that's the face that I did. Yeah. Well that's the face that I did Yeah When I bath Mabel I say Yeah Pits and bits

Oh beautiful Yeah Yeah yeah Yeah so do little fingers little toes Get it out of my Oh and just finish off Get your pits and bits That's nice

Yeah I think that's really sweet And then we moisturise together That's beautiful That is really nice I give her a full body massage with moisturizer so if something heaven forbid happens to me and then she grows up and has beautiful skin you all tell her that it was because dad used to moisturize you every night a girl i went to school with casey marie shaw her mom was used to massage her hands with um and she always used to moisturize her hands and um she always had the most beautiful hands and all the boys were like, wow, your hands are so soft.

She'd be like, yeah, my mum always used to moisturise them for me. And I'd be like, my mum doesn't love me. Yeah. She was too busy lying to you about stuff to moisturise those hands. Yeah. Kacey Marie Shaw listens to this podcast. Does she? Yeah.

Has she still got really nice soft hands? Probably. Yeah. And she's a mum now. So, I bet you she's like, moisturise these hands. The boys will love it. Yeah. You know?

Love it. Smooth hands. Smooth hands. What's her name again?ise these hands. The boys will love it. Yeah. You know? Love it. Smooth hands. Smooth hands. What's her name again? Kasey Murray Shaw. Smooth hands, Shaw. Yeah.

Nothing shorer. That's what we called her. Finally, if you wear glasses, Olivia has a normal or nah for you. Hi, Olivia. If I'm shopping and I vaguely see someone I know and can't be bothered talking to them, I'll take my glasses off and kind of pretend to clean them on my shirt. So, I'll pretend to have not seen them so I don't have to talk to them. But if they see me, I'll be like, oh, sorry, I didn't see you there.

I just had my glasses on. That's good. Have you ever pulled that out? I've never done that, but I have been not wearing my glasses before and gone, like, I could probably get away with this. What, so I come up to you in the supermarket and go, hey, Tony, it's me from work, the Tony and Ryan podcast. And you're like, what? I probably couldn't do it to you.

Can you try one day? Well, oh, who are you? Maybe I wouldn't recognise you without the glasses. Oh, Tony. I do look pretty different. You do? I look bad recognise you without the glasses. Oh, Tony. I do look pretty different. You do? I look bad without them. I look bad with them too.

No. No. Oh, guys. You look great with- I'd have sex with both of them, but they're two different people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a threesome in a way.

It could be. Yeah. Where you take them off and go, oh. Half one, half off. Tony's got one up. Two girls stuck in your dick at the same time. You want to come home with me, sweetheart? I can't really see.

Put your glasses back. You can look at my see. One of us can. You can't see it. I can't look at Tony in the eye because she's wearing it. This really hurts. She's wearing her glasses sideways So it's only on one eye and you look so fucking dumb

Stop poking your tongue I don't know if you're trying to wink or if that's just That's just what happens That's why I can't see anything I can't poke my tongue My blinks are all off Hey it's Taylor from Brisbane And you're listening to Tony and Ryan I can't see anything. I can't focus. My blinks are all off. Hey, it's Taylor from Brisbane, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.

Cape. I just went to read the name instead of announcing what I was doing. No, just say them. Yeah, okay. Kate, Patrick, Caleb, Edgar, Carly, Bennett, good on you, Jake Morland, Matthew Chu and Jamie Neald. They are some of our champion tapas from our Patreon tapas, Tony and Ryan. Are you okay, Matt?

You're rattled because you can't stop thinking. It's the glasses. No, you're rattled about thinking about your own hair that's been through your crack onto Torbjorn's junk back into your mouth. It's just like quite like the circle. I know that's not what ass to mouth means. But that's all. I'm going to let you undo saying that if you want.

I'll let you undo saying that, and this is your one chance. I won't do it again probably ever. But if you would like for me to forget that you did that, that would be okay. Think about the journey that the hair went on. I'm saying to you, it seems like you are choosing to back this in, but I'm giving you an opportunity right now to unsay that. The fact that you're going to length to allow me to take that back.

Okay. It's expired. No, no, no, no. You said ass to mouth and now we have to talk about it. Let me just finish this off, though, and then we'll get into your thing. Don't take it off. They are some of our champion tapas, Tony and Ryan podcast. Thank you.

Over at our Patreon. There's heaps of shit over there. You'll love it. I'm going to push on. Don't push on. I'm going to retract. Rescind. Rescind.

Great. The Airbnb. I'm in a dispute with an Airbnb host in New Zealand, which we are going back to next week. Next Saturday, 10 a.m. Brutomart at the markets there. Saturday morning. Beautiful. I'm Brutomart at the markets there. Yep. Saturday morning, beautiful. I'm actually really excited.

Me too. But only because we're not staying in Airbnb. I'm trying to think of a clever, like, Airbnb pun, and I'm fucking coming up empty, and I don't know what's wrong with me. Normally, I can come up with a pun for any occasion. That's what they call me, old puns lodge. I've never heard someone call you that. I'm not disputing your puns ability, but I've never heard someone say that.

But I can't think of anything. I need you, Tony, you, Cam, and you listening to the podcast to decide if I'm the fuckhead or if they're the fuckhead. And I'm also aware that the segment Who's the Fuckhead, which has been quietly paused, has been accused of sounding similar to normal or not. I would never accuse you of that. Oh, puns, lol, driver here.

I'd never say that. And I'm aware it's on the same day. But this is not normal or not energy. This is who's the fuckhead and it's not me. Airbnb. Yeah, air big noodle brains. I'm going to give you the chance to rescind that. Okay, I'll take it.

I'm going to give you a chance to rescind that. Okay, I'll take it. I'm going to give you a chance to take that one back. That's beautiful comedy and, yes, I'll take that back. Who's the fuckhead? Ryan or the Airbnb? It might be me. I just said that. Tony's not in the story, but it is her. Hi, Ryan.

So, this is the Airbnb to you after you'd stayed there. Did anything happen while you were there? Have a listen. Oh, okay. Sorry. We've discovered a broken chair. Zooto law. I'm sorry you did not let us know as it would have been dangerous for someone to sit on as they would have certainly hurt themselves.

Sorry. Pause. Love how they've said, I'm sorry you didn't let us know. Don't project on me. I've raised the claim via Airbnb that you pay for the chair. Oh, no, you're right. Don't worry about it. That is bold.

So, this is a private message or? Through the thing. And it's actually like there must be a thing on there, this thing that's like submit a claim. Like it's a separate button that's like- And because I got this message and it's like, oh, the host has submitted a- Claim on your behalf or something. Yeah.

And it goes, do you accept it? Like click here to accept and pay or click here to like dispute. And if you like dispute and then they like don't accept your answer, it gets like- The high court. It gets escalated and someone from Airbnb is assigned the case. Ooh. Yeah. Because sometimes you might reply and they might go,

oh, fair enough, yeah, don't worry about it. Yeah. I think that's just, like... This is what I replied. And tell me if you like the tone and the language here. So, hang on. Was the chair broken when you were there? Yeah. Did you break it? Have a listen. One of our guests, who is of a slight build,

sat on one of the chairs and unfortunately it broke immediately. As you know, our stay involved family members, including grandparents and an infant, there was no raucous activities or misuse of the furniture. Given these circumstances, I believe you holding us financially responsible for the chair's failure isn't appropriate. As you said, it was dangerous for someone to sit on.

They certainly could have hurt themselves. We completely agree with what you said, and thankfully this wasn't the case. I believe insurance has allowances for these kinds of circumstances at Airbnb, so if you are seeking financial compensation, I recommend you seek those avenues. Thanks for your understanding, and thanks again for having us. Oh, God, I'm wetter than the sea right now. My goodness. Is that good?

Yeah. Do you remember when you had to talk to that security guard that time? Yeah. Yeah, that's a bit like that. The Sydney Opera House. Yeah. Yeah. That was beautiful.

Did you write that? Did you use a chat GPT to write that? Because it sounds a little bit like not your lingo. I think, no, because I didn't want to be like, oh, whatever. Probably I wanted to be like firm. Yeah. I feel these nipples. Although you're right, rousious, the fact I can't even say it.

Yes. Proves that I've obviously looked up some words. Or sometimes I'll write something rank and like right-clicking go to the synonyms and it'll go, oh, something's like this. And I go, ooh, hello. Now, it was Bridget's sister. Yep. Sat on the chair who is like very light build.

And as soon as she sat down, just went and just broke straight away. So, it's again, it's not like we had a party. Someone jumped on it and broke it and you go, oh, fuck. Or you were standing up to reach something on a top shelf or something. Yeah. Like her sister sat on the chair and it broke straight away. So, for. Or you were standing up to reach something on a top shelf or something. Yeah. Like, her sister sat on the chair and it broke straight away. So, for me- So, not fit for purpose is what I'm hearing.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She did not accept my recommendation and I have been- I was charged for the chair. How much? She originally tried to charge me $80 and I think it was a bit less than that, but it just comes out of my Airbnb account. Like to the card that made the- Yeah.

Did she- Did the owner respond again? No, then it got escalated to Airbnb and I got a message from like, oh, hi, I'm so-and-so. I'm from Airbnb. Yeah. What happened? And I just said- I kind of just copied and pasted that.

I think I was like, hey, we sat on the chair and it broke immediately. And we got charged for it. That's a bit rough. Yeah. And also, I reckon like wear and tear. Yeah. You have like there are expectations that like people are going to sit on things and like they might. Over time something will happen.

And that's why I was like, I would have assumed if you had an Airbnb, you would have like an insurance that, you know, and you might have a, you know, over $200 general wear and tear every year. There's a- Also just like cost of doing business. Yeah. Like unexpected costs sometimes, because we have a business, you and I. We have a business.

Yes. And I would never have said that previously, but now we do have a business. But the thing is, when you're doing, when you have a business or, like, you're hiring your house out to make money, sometimes you have to pay for stuff. Stuff comes up. And, like, are you just being a hoggy little landlord being like,

oh, well, you broke that. Like, I get, though, that they would probably have heard every excuse under the sun. They go, oh, yeah, like, my daughter sat on that and it broke straight away. And they go, well, obviously not. You had a party. But you guys, like, actually were there with a newborn? I'm pretty sure their daughter was, like, living in the garage.

While you were there? Yeah. Did they tell you? Yeah, because they're like, oh, if there's any issues, like, you know, old mate will be out there. It wasn't connected to the house, but it was like pretty close. But she came in. Didn't say you would have access to the entire home. Yep.

Oh, I would raise that with Airbnb. Yeah, fucking suck on that one. I would be like, hang on. They told us we would have the entire home. Their child was there. But something happened. Bothering us, using the bathroom, etc. The Wi-Fi was down or something.

So, she came in to like reset it. And she came in and I was literally like, Bridget's parents, grandma and grandpa, baby on the floor. Like, couldn't be a more wholesome non-partying. As long as if you're in there, like, doing God knows what. Before you're about to say. I don't know. I actually don't know. I'm trying to think of something that you would maybe be doing.

I mean, I've had parties in Airbnbs. Well, you used to be able to. Well, although we would get, to be fair to us, you get a six-bedroom house and there's, like, six couples. So, there's 12 of you having, you know, a loud dinner and a few drinks and you jump in the pool. Like, that's a six-bedroom house. It is what it is. And if you put a six-bedroom house onto Airbnb, like, I wouldn't consider that a party. That's filling up the house.

Well, they probably would. But I'm like, hang on. So, you get six couples together. Obviously, you're going to have a loud dinner and a bottle of champagne. It's a bit different to, you know, Corey Worthington having a party. There's people on the roof. I don't think that you're in the wrong there. Let me read their review of me, which is on my profile.

So, when I go to book something else, they're going to look at this, the next people. Luckily, it didn't go on mine Well like Yeah I know Sorry that it happened to you mate I enjoy those Qantas status credits though It's not status credits It's just points

Anyway It's a shame Ryan didn't let me know Oh Straight up That's fucked About the extra guests I will cop that one

Okay Do you want Am I on your side or not Hang on Actually Straight up, that's fucked. About the extra guests. I will cop that one. Okay. Do you want... Am I on your side or not? Hang on. Actually... Lead us on. There's a five... We were there for five nights and Bridget's sister came up for one of the nights and stayed

in the spare room. And did they only know that because their daughter was hovering around? No, because we told them. And then I get this other request going, oh, extra guest, extra hundred bucks. Is this their first time? I think it might have been. Like, was this actually their first time that anything's ever happened to them?

I would have also liked if Ryan had have let me know about the broken chair instead of me finding out afterwards. If he had of, I wouldn't have minded giving him a recommendation, but he didn't. So therefore, I can't recommend he stay in your property that is horse shit thank you that is ridiculous i i also just think like that matter could have been solved with like via message and it was

because you paid for it you can't then complain about like the thing not being done because you paid for it. You can't then complain about, like, the thing not being done because you go, well, I paid them. You asked me to pay the money. I've paid the money. It's come out of my account. You can now replace the chair. As far as you know, like, yeah, something got broken. That's a real shame.

But, like, it is now being remedied. Yep. So, I guess my question to you, Tony, is what review do I leave her? Because I don't know how I've been able to see her review before I've given mine because now it's just really revved me up because I was like, sometimes if something was shit, I'll just not review it. It's like when you get out of an Uber,

they've gone through every red light, they haven't talked to you, they sneeze all over and you get out and you go, thanks, mate, you got five stars just because you go, well. I couldn't be fucked. Yeah. So, I would start your review of her. I'll write it now. So, you know how she started hers with, it's such a shame that Ryan blah.

It's such a shame. It's such a shame that like. Was that a complete sentence? It's such a shame. It's such a shame. But then I reckon the next bit should be like... Not only was the furniture not fit for purpose, they tried to charge me for it.

Beware that anything you see, touch, do or feel will be stung with an extra fee by these greedy, money-hungry Kiwis. That's not a blight on your whole country, just this person. Just this person? Yeah. I reckon, though, you could be like, oh, when we stumbled upon this property online, we thought it was beautiful. We were proved wrong upon arriving. Which is?

A shame. False advertising. Oh, a shame. A shame. Call the ACCC. That's what I would do. I know it didn't happen in Australia, but- I've called the Australian Consumer and Competition Corporation. We're all the same. All the ACCC. That's what I would do. I know it didn't happen in Australia. I've called the Australian Consumer and Competition Corporation.

We're all the same. All the same. The New Zealand CCC. Yeah, the NZ CCC. Watch this phase. And actually, no, I won't press send right away. Let me know in the episode thread in Facebook, like, A, just, like, broadly how hard I should go.

Yeah. And then if you've got any, like, specific but cutting lines. Because I reckon the other way, the other direction you can go is, like, I'm so sorry, like, you go innocent and you go, I'm so sorry to hear that the owner wasn't happy with, like, we replaced the chair as per their request. They've now left a very nasty review on my page, which I don't understand as, like, I thought that this was remedied.

Like, very disappointed, you know, very disappointed that the house wasn't in the same condition it wasn't in the photos. Like, beware of staying here. Such a shame that no one had clearly cleaned the bathroom in the five months before we got there. You know, that's what I, you go the innocent route. You go, oh, my God, I'm so like, oh, I didn't realise that they were,

like, play dumb. Yeah. That's what I would do. That's what I do every day. Doing it 35 oh, my God, I'm so like, I didn't realise that they were like, play dumb. Yeah. That's what I would do. That's what I do every day. Doing it 35 years, mate. What do you love to see, Tony? I can pump you back up with this. So, Kate LP posted this in our Tony and Ryan podcast Facebook group.

Is that KLP? Like the DJ? Kate LP. But is that? I don't know. DJ LP. KLP. Oh, I don't know. Okay. It KLP. Oh, I don't know.

Okay. It might be. Do you want me to ask her? Please. Okay. I'll do that later. She shared in our Facebook group, and you probably have seen this, but it made me laugh so much, that she got an email and the subject line had kind of, well, it came up and it said,

hand-picked for you, coffee and cock. Don't threaten me with a good time. Well, and that's what Kate said. Handpicked. Oh, okay. Righto. Then when she opened the email, it said, handpicked for you, coffee and cocktail tables.

And she goes, honestly, though, someone knew what they were doing and I refuse to believe That the use of this huge The word huge Was a coincidence Yeah What the hell They know their target market

I said they know What they're doing with that Don't threaten me with a good time There is no way That the person hasn't gone Into MailChimp and gone This will get a few clicks I reckon

Because is there like a Surely if you're in the beers You kind of know Yeah like usually the first How many characters come up. Usually about 27 characters. Yep. So if I just leave, I'm on a bit of a cliffhanger here. Yeah. And I believe it was the big twig from Adelaide who replied and said, this is dick bait. Instead of dick bait. It is dick bait. And no one knows dick bait like the big twig. And I've always said that. You've always said that.

But yeah, I thought that was really funny. Thank you so much for sharing that, Kate. Why can't the new password be the same as the old password? I'm on the record as saying that passwords are my biggest enemy in the world. I don't like it when you turn my voice about. No, I don't like it when you then you put the password in and then they go, no, like not accepted. And then you go, okay, I'll reset it.

And then they go, well, no, that new password was your old password. So you knew your password all along. At roast Malone, great pun, on Twitter says, why not? The fact I'm here creating a new password proves the old one was pretty damn good. The fact I can't even crack it and I'm the one who made it just goes to prove how efficient and excellent it was at doing its job. Yeah. Don't you think that you would then, it proves that you'd be like a wonderful hacker? Because you go, well, if I can't even figure out my own, that's how I'd be a reverse hacker.

Lock them out. Good at security. Would that make you a great hacker or maybe the worst hacker ever? I think that everything is about perception. And it depends how you look at it, really. This is what I imagine. They're like, quick, call a hacker. We need to get into the fucking bank vault.

Call Tony Lodge. The bank vault. Call Tony Lodge. So Tony Lodge rocks up with their laptop and they go, Tony, are you ready to hack in? And you go, yep. And then you go to open your laptop, type in your password, and you go, fuck. No, maybe. Tony, are you ready to hack in? And you go, yep. And then you go to open your laptop, type in your password, and you go, fuck.

No. Tony, have you started hacking? Yeah, I just. Does anyone know how to get into my laptop? Maybe this one has an exclamation mark instead of an at sign. Oh, no. Tried that. Okay.

We're going to go with boobs123. Boobs1234. And then after 10 minutes, you're like, I've got it. And they're like, she's in. And you're like, no, they're like, I've opened my laptop. Because I needed the authenticator code to get into the other thing. Yeah, no, that would be me, actually. Do you reckon the bank vault would have an authenticator code?

Surely do they have that thing like on Charlie's Angels where you put your hand in the goo? I hope so. Surely they would have something like that. That's Ocean's Eleven shit as well. Yeah. Yeah. They're old movies. But they would have something like that. That's Ocean Eleven shit as well. Yeah. Yeah. They're old movies. But they knew what they were doing.

Like ahead of its time. Do you reckon the head of the CIA is like, that's actually not a bad idea. Or hackers like me, they go, well, now I know what it is. The jelly, try jelly. Get me some aeroplane jelly. We're going to try and figure this out. Have you guys heard about the hacking going on in Vegas?

Yes. Have you seen it? I can't believe it's not front page news everywhere. Is Ocean's Eleven stuff? It could be. And I actually think, because when we go to Vegas later on our trip. Yeah. I don't want to like side with the hackers, but I reckon there's.

What happened? All right. More like what happened all right so more like what happened i pumped lodges back see people calling me that um uh a few casinos have been hacked one place like hacked for money or um so one of them hacked their system so you'd go to check in and they're like our system we can't get in we're out and so they're like have you got a receipt of your purchase and we'll find you a room but their whole computer system is down and like if you walk onto the floors of the gaming floor all the machines are like error code like the slot machines and blah blah blah and the hackers are basically like

you can't do business until we give you your thing back so pay us a million bucks and they're like well we can't negotiate with terrorists. Apparently, another casino across the street, the same thing happened. And within an hour, they paid and got the code back all good. Yeah. And they'd be good for a meal. Well, they also- You know what I mean.

They also, like, didn't hack it. They kind of just, like, went to the site and it was pretty open. Yeah. And so, because my thing is, well, how do I know you won't hack me again? And the guy goes, yeah, just change your password. Yeah, literally. Or, you know that thing in hack me again? And the guy goes, yeah, just change your password. Yeah, literally. Or, you know that thing in the top right? Install Norton antivirus.

So, they're like, and the CEO goes, well, how do I know you're not going to do it again? He goes, see that thing in the top right? Click on that and put it behind the thing. And they go, oh, yeah. Yeah. Or, you know, when your Google Chrome says, like, it's red and you need to update it. Yeah. Yeah.

Tobbs looks at my computer and he goes, you going to do that? I go, oh, nah. He goes, it's like security updates and stuff. it yeah yeah tobs looks at my computer he goes you're gonna do that i go oh nah he goes it's like security updates and stuff i go oh yeah who wants my shit and he goes yeah like everyone probably so apparently one of them was like that and they just went oh thanks man here's a meal shut the fuck up and we're back online within an hour and then the other ones who i can't you know principle like no we don't want to set the precedent that we're going to pay yeah and so And so for weeks, like, people are turning up going, yeah, I've got a booking for Lodge, and they go... That would cost them more money than...

Yeah, but if they pay, then they're kind of saying, if you attack us, we will pay. No, and I get that, but they're probably like... Yeah. If they just paid that money and then upgraded all of their security, they would lose less money than they would be by people rocking up and going,

if you can't let me in, I'll just go to the Bellagio over the road. So I think what I'm saying is that we will probably stay, because we're going to rock up. Don't say where we're staying, obviously. We will rock up to the Bellagio and we'll go, hi, Ryan, Tony and Cam, we have the penthouse. And they go, do you have confirmation? And you're like, do you?

And then we just write up a Word document and it says, Tony, Ryan and Cam equals penthouse and they go, do you have confirmation? And you're like, do you? And then we just write up a Word document. Yeah. And it says like Tony Ryan and Cam equals penthouse. Yep. And we go, here you go. Yep. And they go, okay. I'm pretty sure if I copied and pasted a booking.com logo from Google,

I just slapped that in the corner. I don't think you need that. They sound pretty stressed. Yeah. I think we would get away with it. Hey, mate, you just let us in and there's just another thing you don't have to worry about. Yeah.

Oh, you know what? We're low fuss. But we did prepay for the lobster buffet as well. And, you know, it's also on this Word document. It's me typing manically in the background. Man, we don't have the lobster buffet. Well, that's not a booking.com. Yeah.

Well, the hackers are offering that to people. And that's a shame. Someone better start getting their fish and rod out because Tony hungry for lobster. She's prepaid apparently. But that's seriously like the shit going down. That's crazy. How did we get onto hackers? Because we're going to Vegas.

No. Passwords. Passwords. Yeah. Sorry. I was like, how did we get here? Anyway. What I'm saying though is I reckon there's a chance.

Not only are we going to have a sick time in Vegas and not pay for it, I reckon we're going to leave with more money than we turn up with. I mean, and that's the catch cry of the gamblers, isn't it? Yeah. I'll make more than I've spent. It's not gambling if you're stealing, though. That's true. I've always said that.

Yeah, you have always said that. You can't lose a bet if you're not betting. You can steal money from a vault. I've seen the movies. So, should I bring a lot of lycra and start practising, like, backflips? Are you implying that of all the roles in Ocean's Eleven, you're the greaseman? That I would be the guy from...

You're going to be the greaseman. Yeah, Cirque du Soleil. Yep. So, okay. Because every movie... Well, I can't lie. I'm not a smooth talker. That's true.

So, and then what is the other option? Matt Damon's character. Well, the rest't lie. I'm not a smooth talker. That's true. And then what is the other option? Matt Damon's character. Well, the rest of them do lie and play a character, and you're not good at that. So maybe you are a grease man. No, but I could... If it was a character, I could. I just couldn't be Tony Lodge.

Yeah. G'day, sweetheart. You mind letting us in? My boss is a fat cat who loves to gamble. Don Bellagio. See? Everyone was convinced. What if you were the...

There's always, like, the computer guy who's, like, cracking open... Mate, I just said I can't... Okay, go and do that. Yeah, that's not going to work. What about the explosives guy? No, I'd be so stressed. Don Cheadle? Because then later I'd go through the airport and they'd go,

do you have any explosives on you? I'd go, yep. And then, what a mistake, you know? We're not... But I'd just wait up. I'll be the Julia Roberts playing Julia Roberts. That was weak acting on Julia Roberts' behalf. That's a real shame.

That's just because she's a woman, you hate her. No, when they said, can you play the role of Julia Roberts? Yeah. And you're like, you'd hope so, wouldn't you? Well, but in the film, she's Julia Roberts playing somebody else. Hang on, no, no, let's re-web. You'll be the love interest. Oh, I think I'm better than that.

You're saying you're better than Julia Roberts? No, I think I am, like, available for a better role. What about the eye candy? Could I be the guy? I'm definitely not the eye candy. That sounds more like you. Thank you. That's the best thing you've ever said.

Yeah. I'm in room 1204, if I'm honest. Could I be the guy who is like Monica and Ross's dad from Friends? And he's just wearing a cravat and smoking a cigar the whole time. I'll do that. Okay. Yeah. Cam, grease man?

Yeah, it depends where you put the grease. Oh, Cam. Oh, it's not that kind of podcast. We actually have to leave because we've obviously... Have a great day. Bye. Waste along.