Toni and Ryan - Ryan's new LUST for life

Episode Date: October 27, 2022

Ryan has a surprise for us all. A WEIRD surprise but sort of sexy but definitely a bit weird. Hehehehe love you! Toni xoxox [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT]Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the podcast. I'm Ryan, that is Tony, and we are calling Lucy, who is a rare Melbourne tarper. Hello, Lucy speaking. Hi, Lucy, it's Tony. Oh my God, Tony Locke. Yeah, and Ryan's here as well. We're speaking to a rare Melbourne tarper. Yeah, you Australian, Lucy, the rumour's Lucy. I was really hoping it was just Tony. I mean, bloody oath I am.

Sorry, Lucy, could you repeat that, please? Were you saying something there, mate? For the record? I just thought it was only Tony and got really excited, and then Ryan said, just ruin the whole vibe. What are you doing? I'm sorry, Lucy. Were you hoping, Lucy, that maybe Ryan had called in sick again

and I was just calling you by myself? Absolutely I was. I was sitting there going, God, I really bloody hope he's not there. And now you're here and you've just ruined everything. Shit. All right, well, I've actually got a couple of stories planned for today. Do you want me to tell them or should I just sit back and let the Tony and Lucy show really take charge?

Well, I mean, what do you think? What do you think? I'm going to say it. I think you already know in your heart of hearts. You know, Tony and I both have a car, and you don't, so, you know, there's the first point. I mean, we've got so much in common. Yes.

There's nothing that we can't talk about if we both got a car. Hey, I'd like to have a job speaking, but do you own a car? Yeah, do you have a car, though? I didn't realise this job required a manual licence and transporting abilities. It actually does, yes. Sorry. Was that not on the job description?

No. All right, well, Lucy, do you approve Tony to be on this podcast? I absolutely do. Well, one out of two, I'm back. I'm do. Well, one out of two I bash. Hi, I'm Lucy from Melbourne and I approve this podcast. Welcome to the video show. If you want me, you can watch me on my video show.

You know that song Videophone by Beyonce? Whoa. Do you want to go again? What? Do you? No, I don't. What? What did I say? I think you just said a lot of words and not necessarily in the order you think they came out.

Do you know that song, Videophone by Beyonce? Is that what I said? Oh, yeah, maybe you did. No, don't mind me. It's a Friday. Maybe I didn't. I think it was your singing that threw me off because I haven't heard you sing since the live stream last week when you sung MILF Money. Oh, great song.

Great song and great performance. I actually sang that on the podcast like only the week before that as well. Yeah. Once a week. I actually sang that on the podcast only the week before that as well. Once a week. I love that song. Yeah. I mentioned yesterday that I hate wasting food. Yes. But I also...

Which I think is pretty normal, to be honest. I think people kind of get it. I also hate wasting money. And it's sort of like... Have you seen the jacket you're wearing? I don't think you hate wasting money. Are you taking the piss out of this jacket? That was really funny.

For me, please say that that was funny. That was funny. It would be bitchy if this was an expensive jacket. Yeah. But it's from Cotton On and it's Foster's Beer. Oh, no, we can see. I wonder how much this retails for. I obviously picked it up for not much.

Yeah, too much. That was funny from you. Thank you. Sometimes the wasting money is sort of, it's more about the principle and the stubbornness than maybe like the rationale. Sure. Perfect example is Tapa Javel.

They said there's a service station, petrol station, 15 minutes from their house. And every time they fill up there, it's like $3 less. So they'll drive there every week to fill up the car. And Javel's like, it probably cost me $3 worth of petrol to get there. To get there every time, yeah. But it's the principle. I don't like being overcharged for gas.

Yeah, or it's like driving to another Coles because they've got the milk that you get cheaper when you probably spend that in fuel and time. The time you get there, yep. Yeah. People forget that their time is worth money, I think. Time is money. And I don't mean that in like a wanky corporate way,

but like your money is, your time actually is worth money. Yeah. And that's where there's a bit of a discretion in terms of I don't like to waste money. So do you mean on like expensive clothes or like a good frying pan? Like is that what you mean? It's more, let me explain what I did yesterday. Okay. All right.

Lay it on me. My wife Bridget was booked in to get a wax yesterday. Yep. And as you know, she has not been well. And so she messaged and she's like, I can't make it. I'm not up to it. Oh, so she, oh, right, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

And it's on the way home. Yep. And I was like, cool, when I'm walking home, I'll just drop in and see if we can reschedule. All good. And so I go in there and I was like, Bridget's unwell. Can we reschedule? They go, oh, we can book in another time,

but because it's not 24 hours notice. Yeah, a cancellation fee or something. Well, we'd already paid. Oh. And I was like, can I get a refund or use that for the next booking? And they're like, oh, I'm really sorry. And I was like, hey, small business. Totally get it.

Our fault. Sure. That didn't quite sit well with me, though, because I appreciated that they earned the money. They can't resell that time. It's now. And then I'm standing there thinking, well, we've paid for a waxing. They've got time.

And, Tony, would you like to step around here? Come on over not really are you gonna show me your vagina put your hand down the back of my shirt oh my god and feel my back oh my god have you ever done that before? Never. Does it feel amazing? Unbelievable. I was like, we've paid for it. My family has paid for a waxing and it wasn't about. There's a booking for dumb.

Doesn't say who's the first name is. And it was more like, no, what a waste of money for no one to get waxed. We've paid for a waxing and we will receive. And it wasn't about, like, I have it. No, I think you just need to give me a second. Who in the history of the world has gone, oh, yeah, like, my partner can't come in. Sorry.

And then has gone, oh, but what could you do for me instead? So I'm not the hairy, like I've got a hairy chest and stuff, but I'm not like a crazy hairy back. But it's still, you know, like little tufts and whatever. And does it get like itchy under your clothes and stuff? No, never, never noticed it until today when I'm like i feel like a dolphin yeah yeah i feel like i could if i coughed i would just fall out of my clothes because i'm that smooth and um so can we just rewind for a second when you're in there and you're like oh could we cancel they

go yep sorry you could pay thing you go oh i've already fucking paid for it. What could you do for me? Is that what happened? Or did you have the back locked and loaded? Like did you know what you were going to ask for already? So like I said, because I'm not crazy, my back's not crazy hairy. It's not like something I've been thinking about or do regularly or I've never done it before. Yeah.

And it wasn't like, oh, this is something I need to do. Or this is the perfect opportunity to do something I've always wanted to try. She just goes, oh, we can't give you a refund. And I just went, and it was more about not wasting the money. And that's where the irration, like. But that's what I'm saying. Like once you've paid it, the money's gone anyway. I am aware of that.

It's the same as when Javel goes to the other, they go, I know it cost me money to drive there, but it's the principle of the thing. So the principle of the thing, and I went, so what did Bridge have booked in? And they're like, oh, yep, legs and this and that, a total of this much money. I was like, what can I get for that much? But that's what I want to know. Like, how did you land on the back? Well, I can confirm the shoulders, just the little, you know,

little fluffy bits here. Yeah. And I got my money's worth. What else did you have waxed? What rhymes with back? Did you do your sack? What rhymes with sack? Crack.

Did you actually do a back sack and crack? Well, I just said, what can I get for this amount? I don't want to leave. Did you actually get your balls waxed? Come around here. Did you actually? So here's the thing, right? Did you actually?

Here's the thing. That is a crazy thing to do on a whim, isn't it? When you, like I have like a couple of little hairs on my butt too, you know. So the thing about this is, is like. I can't deal with this. Where do you draw the line? I thought you were going to talk about like paying for parking or, you know, an ATM fee maybe. So say if you've got some hairs on your back and then you've got like, you know, some hairs on your butt. Do they do your welcome mat like your lower back?

Yeah, and that was the fucking word. Because yeah, like that was a welcome mat. Yeah. That was a welcome mat. It's soft. Yeah. That part of your butt. Like not in general.

It's like a soft part of your body. It's never seen. In general, it's like a soft part of your body. It's never seen the sun. So, little tufts of hair on the shoulders. Bit of a welcome mat. Yep. Some hairs on my butt. Hairs on my, like, thighs and my calves. But, like, where does the back...

Like, when you say back... Yeah. Do they keep going to your ankles? No, I'd say back goes to butt crack. But then what, you just have like a line? But you don't have a line. Well, I guess it depends on how hairy you are. Again, you've got to draw the line somewhere,

so it's a bit awkward. Right. It's the same with like, so arm hair here is like fine, but like here not so much, but again, where do you? Yeah, no, I know what you mean. So we had some fun conversations. She's like, what do you reckon? And I'm like oh what's normal? She goes

it's actually not that normal that a bloke comes in for a Brazilian and he's a bloke and asks for this so I don't really know either. Yeah because they're like I'll just wherever you want the hair to not be there. You just point and I'll rip. Yeah. She was lovely by the way. You should go see her point and I'll rip? Yeah. She was lovely, by the way.

You should go see her. Actually, probably not now. Yeah. I don't like to shoot where I eat. I nearly slipped out of bed last night. Sorry, I'm actually really having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that you just got a Brazilian, basically. Not a Brazilian, but yeah.

But I mean, on the books, yeah. Like. Do you want to feel my back again? It's smooth. Because the thing is, is that I had a Brazilian once. Once. Yeah. And I agonised and thought about it for two weeks,

like had nightmares about how it was going to go and then had six showers before I went there and everything and you literally just like wandered in and went, oh, I'll take that appointment. So I don't want to waste money, yeah. How much money was it? Not much. Like $100? No, not even.

What? Yeah. Like I just want to, you know, mine's just down there. Yeah. Yeah. So what did they wax? They wax your back, your arms, and your gooch. Not full gooch, but again, we just had to draw a line somewhere,

and we're like. Yeah, right. I would say lower doormat. How do I say that without being crappy? So she did inside your butt crack? Not deep. Okay. Just the top.

Oh, just a. Like I said, I'd say the lower. Just a dusting. A very southern doormat. Welcome mat. Welcome top. Oh, just a... Like I said, I'd say the lower... Just a dusting of... A very southern doormat. Welcome, Matt. Welcome, Matt. What do I say? Doormat.

Did she do your fupa, like your pussy part of your penis? Like around the penis? No. No. No. So the gooch, did she do your ball sack? No. Did you cum when she waxed your ball sack?

Because I've heard that that's a thing. What? That when they wax your gooch, you she do your ball sack? No. Did you cum when she waxed your ball sack? Because I've heard that that's a thing. What? That when they wax your gooch, you can cum sometimes. Well, yeah, there was no ball. It was just like back and top of crack. Right. But there was no jizzing of any kind. In fact, I'd say quite the opposite.

It's actually quite painful. Oh, it's not like erotic, but it's like a natural thing. Just being touched there. No, like that when they wax it, that your body is like, ah! not like a erotic. Quite painful. But it's like a natural thing that like. Just being touched there and. No, like that when they wax it, that your body is like, ah. And just jizzes. Cough. I don't know. No, I didn't.

No. That's the thing. Well, a girl who I used to work with was a beauty therapist. She had jizzed on a bit. And she used to say like every time that they did that, they gave men a tissue to be like, oh, just in case, like that it was really common. I guess it doesn't happen to everyone or whatever.

I also got the impression that it was sort of rare for a dude to be, like not that dudes can't have this, but this specific one. At that place. Was not regular. Right. Because they were like, oh, what do you want us to do? Yeah. Yeah, right.

Well, okay. I'm glad that you're feeling super body confident today because of it. That's really, really nice. Do you want to feel my shoulders? No, no, no. Thank you. That's lovely. Are you going to keep your hands off the door, Matt?

Welcome, Matt. I just can't believe that you did that. That is so crazy. No wasting $49.95 on my watch. We've already paid for it. It's a free back. And it feels good. Do you think you're going to go back?

Well, because I was like on the – I don't know if you have the answers to this. I assume because my back and shoulders were just like light sprinkles of hair, not overly thick, that maybe I won't have to go back that often. Yeah. Like if I did, my legs have to go back that often. Yeah. Like if I did, my legs would grow back on the weekend. Yeah. But I feel like maybe could I get away with the summer or is it going to come back?

I don't know. But normally if you wax constantly or like semi-regularly or whatever, the hair like thins out. Yeah. But like if you shave, it comes back. Back thicker. Yeah. So that's why I was like, oh, this is great.

Yeah, I think it'll probably be okay. And I said, summer's coming up, and I was like, ooh, hello. Yeah. I wonder if when it starts to grow back, though, it'll get a bit itchy. Oh, okay. Yeah, so I didn't hate it. You have to make sure you keep exfoliating so you don't get an ingrown hair. She said that, and I didn't do anything.

Yeah. She was like, when you get home, do this, this, and this, and I didn't. Yeah. How did Bridget respond when you got home and said, and she went, oh, how'd you go cancelling that appointment? You're like, I didn't. I took it. I said. Turns out they had an opening.

Because it was, you know how when I left yesterday, it was like the appointment's in 10 minutes. Yeah, you were like, I've got to go. I'll call you later. Yeah. And so I just got home and I was like, oh, Bridget, because I was trying to cancel five minutes notice. And I was like, oh, they couldn't cancel and get our money back.

And she went, oh, of course. And again, it's like a one lady business. Yeah. And I'm like, yeah, I don't want to steal your time and whatever. And so she goes, oh, so you paid? And Bridge goes, yeah, that's fine. I was like, what? And then I said, give me your hand.

She's like, what? I was like, give me your hand. So I got her hand. And again, she's like not well. So she's like lying there. She's like, I'm not fucking interested in this. Yeah, so she's laying there and I grabbed her hand and then I put it like on the top of my back and she was like,

oh, that's a bit of a ride, isn't it? Yeah, right. Yeah, she didn't hate it. I'm really proud of you. Thank you. I think that's quite cool. I almost fell out of bed. I was so slippery in the night. Yeah, it would have been nice. I'm really proud of you. Thank you. I think that's quite cool. I almost fell out of bed. I was so slippery in the night. It would have been nice.

I'm a new man. It's like really nice when you've just shaved your legs or had them waxed or whatever as well. Yeah. Well, I'm really happy for you. That's awesome. She said when she like ripped a bit off, she's like, do you want to see it? It's pretty satisfying. Do you say, do the people

say yes to that? Oh that oh well i guess it would depend on like what their hair was like but if it was a real satisfying yeah area like if you had a really hairy back yeah you don't want 40 year old virgin it's very funny to watch isn't it you know like so when you kind of think about if it was really dark thick hair yeah it would be very satisfying to look at the she's like like, do you want to see? I was like, no. God, no. There was a part of me that was like, I should call Tony and get her to film this because

it was hilarious. Yeah, that is really funny. I was a bit... Oh, was it sore? Well, I just... I was a bit like... Well, it does hurt. It does hurt, yeah.

And if it wasn't like a feeling you'd felt before, it would be a bit different. Like, I get my eyebrows waxed all the time, so I'm like waxing doesn't really feel weird. So she said to me, she goes, are you okay? And you'll be proud of me for saying this, and Bridget was proud of me for saying this. Yeah. I said, considering what some ladies get waxed, what air is,

I reckon I can just shut the fuck up. That's nice. Yeah. That is nice. And she was like, I respect that. Yeah. And I was like, what? Would you recommend this person?

Yeah. Maybe I'll go down there. Yeah. She can do my back sack and crap. Yeah. She'll go, have you got a dog in your freezer? We're going to need a double appointment for that one. We're going to need a double appointment for that one.

If this is your first episode, go listen to yesterday or fucking don't, but that's harrowing. Play the ad thing. Hey, it's Lucy from Melbourne, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tubbers over at our Patreon. Maybe your name's already flicked across the bottom of the screen if you're watching the podcast video show. Should I, as you read them out, comment whether I think they've got a smooth back? Patricia Lipkins.

Smoothest I've seen. Smoothest. Freya Atwell. Yeah, pretty smooth. Yeah, Patricia Lipkins. Smoothest, I've seen. Smoothest. Freya Atwell. Yeah, pretty smooth. Yeah, no welcome, Matt, though, on Freya. Patrick McCaffrey. There he is, fuck. Jamie.

Ooh, that's a tough one. Jim Cox. Smooth. You reckon? Like a dolphin, yeah. Amy, Stacey England, thank you so much. Katie Jade. Hairy shoulders.

Yeah. Alex E, Raffaella, Carl Balcombe, and Mary. Mary actually has those hairs. Little lamb. Little lamb. What are you doing in here, Mary? I'm here for you to take care of my little lamb. That was quite a good dog noise. That was quite a good job.

That was great. Wait, dog noise, That was quite a good job. That was great. Wait, dog noise, no. Lamb noise? Lamb. Lamb. Oh, black penny, bam, ba-lamp. Thank you to everyone for watching the video show and for listening. And you can see pics of my smooth back on OnlyFans slash Rhyan John.

Is that how it works? I have no idea. Are you asking the wrong person. My PA deals with my knowledge. I don't have a PA in case people think what I do. Your finance team not providing one. Fuck off. So I knew I was going to talk about the back waxing thing.

Yeah, mate, we've already done it. Move on. Yeah. So I said to people, like, have you got a story about being stubborn and not wanting to waste money? Oh, sure. Yeah. So I was like, I'll share some other people's stories. And I said, I've just done the dumbest thing of my life. I've never done anything like it before. And I feel more alive than ever. I'll share with you tomorrow. And now you know what that is.

So that is something I didn't ask. Did you have a pep in your step after? Were you kind of like, I've just done this cool thing? I was nervous at the time. I'm not going to be here like, oh, it doesn't even hurt. It hurts. But, yeah, after I finished, I was like. Yeah, it's like when you wear, for anybody that might partake in this,

it's like if you're wearing, wearing like slutty underwear under your clothes, you're kind of like, I've got a secret. Yeah. You know? And so for you, were you walking around like, ha, ha, ha. Guess who's got a smooth back. I did self-care today. This t-shirt might fall off me.

So I said, and let me just repeat, I've never done something like this before, but I'm feeling so alive. I've never done something like this before, but I'm feeling so alive. Amazing. And then some people started guessing what that might have been. Fuck, no one would have guessed that, surely. No one guessed it. No one got close.

Because it's fucking pretty weird, yeah. But can I just say a big fuck you to a lot of people? Because people have made some guesses and I don't like what they're implying. Oh my God. Yeah. Okay. I've never done something like this before, but I feel alive. Bernadette, did you charge your phone?

Fuck you, Bernadette. Oh my God. Oh, I like this actually. Yep. Brad Fletcher. He's an asshole. Hairy back. Hairy back.

He goes, oh, what did you do? A podcast thread without a spelling error. I've never done it before. I've never felt more alive. A spelling error free podcast thread in the Tony and Ryan Facebook group. Fuck you, Brad. I've never liked you. Fuck, that's funny.

Larissa. Did you purchase a towel to save money on toilet paper? Well, that's just fucking rude. Well, Larissa, no. And I was going to say you've done that before, but not with someone else's towel. Yeah, someone else's towel. So it saved a lot of money. A lot of money.

Andrew Pasquale. I think his name is Pasquale, but I think Pasquale is more exotic. Yeah, me too. You're too old to be stealing candy from a convenience store. Oh. Yeah. Yeah, probably right on that. I mean, is there an age limit on theft?

Apparently not. Is that how you got that bloody popping candy yesterday? Yeah, maybe you saw me. Hey, I paid for the popping candy. Something I've never done before. Jackie Burns. What'd you do? Turn up somewhere on time.

Here I am. Trying to share my life with you to get you through. I know I'm just the butter to Tony's bread. I know I'm just the vice captain of the ship, but here I am pouring my heart out and literally ripping hair out of my person for you. Okay, don't pretend that that was for us. Bernadette, Brad, Larissa, Andrew, Jackie. Lift. Be better.

I mean, they did get you fucking hole in one, to be fair. Here's a mulligan. Just fucking tap that in. He, like, couldn't be easier to roast you, to be honest. Shooting fish that are lodged in the gun. Literally. Like, it just actually could not be simpler. Something I've never done before.

I've never felt more alive. Well, go fuck all of you guys. Fuck, that's so funny. This is just the story that keeps on giving. Next week I'll share some stories of your money-saving tips, but I feel like what started as a money-saving segment has got out of hand. A money-saving segment?

That's not a money-saving segment. Well, I'm not wasting money on waxes I'm not getting. That's like when people say, like, oh, I bought this $600 thing. It was down from $700. I save $100. It cost me money not to buy it. You still spent $600. Well, we'll get to a few of those next week.

What's your love to see besides mine? Do you want to feel my back again? Yeah, I do. Really? Oh, great. Go on, put your hand right down there. It's a little bit red. Why is it?

Yeah. That is nice, though. They should have done the little top bits of your neck. Did they not? Well, where does a waxer's job finish and a barber's job start? That's a great question. You're due for a haircut, actually. Do you reckon you'll go for a haircut?

There's been a lot of comments. Or have you done a bit of... You've done enough self-care for the week. Nah. Torbs is going for a haircut tonight. I think he's going to lose the beard, which is... How do you feel about that? Oh, my God, his body, his choice.

Like, you know... You're okay with that beard? Don't you fucking dare! You know, like I'm a crazy girl. When I cut my beard off, you were inaudible for a while. Oh, my God. I actually totally forgot about that. That gives me fucking nightmares.

That's my version of the dog in the freezer. People, I'm going to the barber, I'm like, yeah, I think he's going to lose the beard. Tobbs has got like a new vibe at the moment. Does he? Is that a new pants he got, those dicky pants? Yeah, I think it is. He's got like a bit of, I found his style.

Tobbs is looking good at the moment. He is. And yeah, so I think he's going to lose the beard. But keep a moustache because I love a moustache. He's all in on being in Melbourne, isn't he? I love a moustache. Yeah, you do. I fucking love.

Okay. It's just good, isn't it? Keep your eyes on the dogs this weekend. You come in tomorrow and you've got a massage on your face. And a waxed face. You're addicted to waxing. You take your jacket off. You've got not hair anywhere on your chest.

That's pretty funny, actually. Imagine if waxing does become your personality. Could I wax myself into being a twink? You know what you should do? Wax your nose. Do you get nose hairs? I don't think so, but I've seen when they, you know those, it became like a viral thing where there's like the whole black. Yeah, oh, the charcoal mask.

Yeah, and they rip it off and they do the nose and the ears. And I sometimes see that and go, oh, that would hurt, but wouldn't it feel amazing after? Satisfying. And all the pores and stuff. Because you put it on like a little pop stick and then pop it up. Yeah. Because I love like Dr. Pimple Popper.

Yeah. And then because the algorithm has learned that, they're going, oh, Ryan's into like skin stuff. Weird, satisfying skin things. Yeah. So I get all these videos of that stuff. And I always see it and I go, oh, one day. And now that maybe the back was a gateway wax.

I think that's what I was literally about to say. It's opened your eyes to this whole new world. Whole new world. Don't you dare close your eyes. Don't you dare have hair on your back. What do you love to say? I think it might be this. No, it can't be.

For only the reason is that we can't just have the whole podcast be essentially one story. About your wax. Yeah, something else needs to happen in this show. I have a tweet here from Carolina Dean and it is really a comment on internet culture. Great. The person who made Wordle was so smart for selling it when he did,

because didn't that fucking die in the ass? Didn't it? He sold that for over a million dollars to the New York Times. To the New York Times. Just a bloke. He made it for his wife, eh? Yeah. His wife really liked doing word puzzles.

He was like, oh, great. But things, we just get so obsessed. Next week, you won't be into waxing anymore. You'll be into BMX. Remember Pokemon Go? Oh, another moment in time. Isn't that crazy? I saw this tweet and I was like, yeah.

I've got a hack for parents. Oh. So. I'll just fuck my story off then. Oh. No, it was based on trends. Oh, okay. No, you go.

No, no, no. I thought you were just like changing direction. I was like, oh, great. As the captain of this ship, I decide when and where we go. But that's okay. My friend Rachel, who's had a baby, little poppy. So babies often like to, like they must sleep better in the Rachel, who's had a baby, little Poppy, so babies often like to, like, they must sleep better in the pram

because of the bit of vibration. Oh, like as they're moving around, or like in the back of the car. Yeah, so apparently that's a bit of a thing because it just, you know, a bit of noise, a bit of movement. And so Rachel's like, oh, she loves it. She always falls asleep when we go for a walk. So she started doing Pokemon Go just with the baby in the pram and she's

got like a... Just like for someone to do? Because she's like, I can't just keep walking around in a circle in the park all day. And she didn't hate Pokemon when it came out. So she's got a little clip for her phone. So she's pushing it, just watching the thing and just got to catch them all. That's quite a cute story, actually. So she's the one person using it? I was going to say, yeah, is she the only one left?

I'm ranked highest. I would have hoped so. One of one. Do you remember when Pokemon Go first came out? And obviously it was insane. And there was like people in the park, like everyone was walking around like

walking rates went high as ever. Getting the steps up. I don't know if this was a thing everywhere, but in Perth, so I was living in Bunbury at the time, but in Perth, so I was living in Bunbury at the time, but in Perth, every single animal shelter was empty because people were going and, like, borrowing dogs for the day to walk the dog so that it didn't just look like they were walking around on their own.

The shame of playing Pokemon Go. Yeah, so they were, like, getting dogs and, like, the shelter was like, take a dog for a walk and play your Pokemon Go. Well, so they were, like, getting dogs, and, like, the shelter was like, take a dog for a walk and play your Pokemon Go. Well, good of them for hacking the culture. Yeah, and then, so people were, like, walking around, like, especially, I think they said a lot of, like, single guys were doing, because obviously they're like,

I don't want to just, yeah, look like I'm Ben Creepy in the park, like, fucking with my phone out and, like, whatever. Ben Creepy, just get a dog. Yeah, so they were walking around with it, and then, like, taking him back to the shelter afterwards and, like... What a great unintended positive consequence. Yeah, it's, like, the sweetest story ever. That is the sweetest story. There's my love to say it.

Yeah, no, that's not how it works. What was your story before I rudely hijacked it? The Wordle thing. Great time to sell. Great time to sell. But it just died in the arse. Everyone was like, fuck, have you done your Wordle today? And now, like, everyone's like, who the fuck's Wordle? Now we're being real. I reckon that just died in the ass. Everyone was like, fuck, have you done your hurdle today? And now everyone's like, who the fuck's hurdle?

Now we're being real. I reckon that'll die in the ass fucking hard. I was going to say, don't you think that Be Real kind of already has? I reckon, well, after a while it's like, we get it, you're just home working. Yeah, or sometimes it goes off and you're out.

Like, they're the options. Yeah. Cool. Like, I don't really. Yeah, it'll die in the house. I think the fad's gone. I never did it. Did you do Be Real in here? No, because we talked about it once and we were like, oh. We talked about it and then I was like, do I need another social media to like, and to

know that it's ticking down and you've only got fucking two minutes to post or whatever. Terrifying. Stop. Terrifying. I might be mid-wax. Imagine if I was Be Real'd yesterday. That's quite good. Okay.

But if you wanted to do that. Just take the photo. Just take the photo and post on Instagram and say, I'm being real now. This is what I'm doing. I'm being real now. Yeah. What did you love to see today or this week? I don't know if you've seen the brouhaha happening over the last month at McDonald's, but no longer.

Because you know how I'm a Sprite guy? Yeah. They're not doing Sprite anymore. They're only doing sugar'm a Sprite guy? Yeah. They're not doing Sprite anymore. They're only doing sugar-free Sprite. I love to see this. Now, there's a bit of uproar. Because you're a Diet Coke girl.

I am. Yeah, so I'm not against a diet drink. I prefer them normally. In fact, I've seen you, I won't say a hissy fit, but I've seen you get worked up when I said, Tony, there's no Diet Coke, there's only regular or vanilla, and you're like... Well, I actually just wouldn't drink. I'd go, I'm fine with water then.

Yeah, and then I was going, oh, there's a Coke, no sugar, and you're like, no, I want a Diet Coke. I prefer a Diet Coke. And I don't know what the difference is. Anyway, I don't... I don't like sugary drinks. I know that sounds crazy because it's a Diet Coke. It's called Coke No Sugar.

No, no, no, no. But I'm sorry. I'm saying for like full fat drinks or whatever. I actually don't... They leave like a gross like cordial taste in my mouth. Yeah, I get that. And I don't like... So when it's like Coke Full Sugar, like real Coke or real lemonade or whatever,

I actually don't enjoy it as much. Because what I like about the sugar... I can't taste it. I'm not a... I can't taste the difference. Yeah. What I like, though, is when I've already had lunch, I'm planning on having dinner, and I go,

yeah, nah, I will get a McChicken and a 10-pack of nugs. Oh, just to tide you over. Just to tide you over. And I'm like, oh, I feel like a fat piece of shit. And they go, oh, well, just do no sugar Sprite. And I go, yeah, because I'm an athlete. Yeah, pizza and a Diet Coke. You know, I'm watching my wife.

Kind of. And when they go, oh, we're only doing sugar-free, I go, hey, you guys know me. Yeah. Picture of health. Exactly right. Forget what else I ordered. You're like, oh, it doesn't bother me at all.

I don't care. They go, which one was for you and which one was for your wife? And I was like, who? Yeah. How many knives and forks do you need? You need one fork, thank you. No, I get that. And that's exactly why I wanted to specify

that I don't like the non-sugary drinks because of the health reasons. I actually prefer the taste. Because people go, well, you just have it with the pizza. Don't get me wrong, mate. I'm sucking down Diet Cokes till the cows come home. Yeah, for health. For health reasons. Yeah, fucking burger. Don't get me wrong, mate. I'm sucking down Diet Cokes till the cows come home. Yeah, for health. For health reasons. Yeah, fucking hell.

Alright, thanks so much for hanging out with us today on the video show. If you want to see pictures of my smooth back, check out the OnlyFans account. You should charge people to touch it because it's quite nice. It is quite nice. Yeah. Just walk around and be like, five bucks, touch my back. What are you doing with those coins? Want to slip them in my slot so you can

finger this? Just a little... No? Is that not the terminology I should use when I'm in the street? No. Pokemon, no. It's all right, we'll figure it out together. Thanks for watching if you're watching.

Thanks for listening if you're listening. And now I'm off to slide into the weekend. Because there's no traction. Yeah'm sliding no i get it slide all the way down if i go any further i might break the chair love you bye