Toni and Ryan - RYAN'S SPARE PANTS

Episode Date: November 20, 2022

WHYYYY on Earth would anyone need spare pants? hehehe and I fell over in the Paris of Indonesia. Love you!! Toni xoxox Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Plus you can find the links to pre-order Toni's book here! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We're calling Ray, who is in Michigan. Oh. It's going to be a real ray of sunshine. Hello, this is Ray. Ray, it's Tony and Ryan. How are you doing? Ah! Oh, my God!

Ray, will you approve the podcast? Oh, I 100% approve this podcast. Yay! She's like, oh, I thought you were the Uber Eats guy saying that my pasta was here. That's okay. Okay. Hey, it's Ray from Alpena, Michigan, and I approve this podcast. Woo!

You! New glasses. Ow, ow, ow. Welcome to the podcast. Tony's got new glasses on. I do. Looking real good. And I commented this morning, didn't I? You did.

You went, whoa, new glasses? Hang on, new glasses? No, I've had them for years. Just don't wear them. Yeah, just don't wear them. I've had them for about a year and I don't wear them. I'm a big tortoiseshell, right? Yeah.

Turtle shell. Tortoiseshell. I like that look. Thank you. I like it in general and I love it on you. Oh, I really appreciate that. Yeah. It's a little bit different.

Yeah, you look good. Coming up today, we're reviewing Ratatouille because I believe for three months we've been promising movies about Paris. About Paris. There's been some accusations of maybe whilst based in Paris, not a Paris movie. Having watched the film, you would guess that the theme was shit movies. Okay.

I've got some comments here from people, and I might have to change them based on your attitude. Sorry about that. We'll get to that soon. Speaking of Paris. Speaking of Paris. We were in the Paris of Indonesia. Arguably. We were in Jakarta last week,

and I'm not saying that what happened with my bows was worse than the hairdresser's house with the towel. However, my body, my stomach, my insides weren't having the best week. They weren't in the Paris of Indonesia. No, they were in the... Depths of despair. So we're about to board a plane. And this slight just general anxiety is like just raised.

I know I'm like the cool, calm, whatever. But you're like. It's a plane. We still don't know how a big hunk of metal leaves the ground. We don't know how that fucking works. We don't know how it works. I don't think anyone does. But also it was like to get into Indonesia was quite difficult.

There were like lots of COVID protocols. So like masks, vaccination certificates. International vaccine certificates. And obviously we're both facts. So we were like, cool, just let us in. They're like, no, we actually need proof. This, this, this. We're like, okay.

So I was a bit anxious, a bit nervous. Stomach was all riled up. So before we left, I was like, I think I'm going to get some, like, tummy medicine because I'm not having a good tummy day. Yeah. And I ended up finding, what was it, Imodium? Yeah. But there was this other one in big, massive letters that was like,

anti-diarrhea, stomach block, shit yourself, you're a fuckhead. Don't shit yourself. Don't shit. Like, surely you would want to be more subtle. I mean, I guess when you're looking for something on the shelf and it says what you need. And it does what it says on the tin, you know, quite literally. But surely there's a bit of, like, discretion of, like,

hey, someone is going to pick this up with their hand and walk to the counter. Yeah. Maybe just, like, be a bit more subtle. Yeah. So I'm feeling nervous and we're looking for a pharmacist in the airport. And, Toni, you were also looking. Well, I was, like, I think that and we're looking for a pharmacist in the airport. And, Tony, you were also looking.

Well, I was like, I think that while we're away I might get my period. And a new country, we don't know where stuff is. Maybe it'd be best to be prepared. So I was like, I'll grab some tampons in the airport rather than, like, get there and then need them and not have them. So we're both basically buying the most embarrassing thing ever. Tony's got a big thing of tampons. I've got a big thing of don't shoot yourself.

Yep. And what a great time for a fan of the podcast to be working behind the counter. Interesting. They go, are you the YouTubers? Yeah. And I went, oh, we do have a YouTube. And we go, well, great, you know what our face looks like. Yeah.

Hi. Oh, I love you guys. Great. At least if it was the podcast, they'd go, maybe you don't really know who you are, but no, they knew. They knew. And I mean, what a fucking first world fucking problem. It's lovely.

It is lovely. I don't want anybody to think that we don't love it when you come up to us, because we do. We love it, and it's fucking awesome. A lot of high fives in the street these days, which is fun. People go, I love it. Go, cool, man. Thanks so much.

I'm not a fan of a high five. Well, they wouldn't high five you. So if you did that to me, I wouldn't be happy about that. Tony would be fucked off. But anyway, she gives us this big I love you guys. Oh, sorry. Anyway, what can I do for you? And she puts her professional hat on kind of thing and we go, oh.

Cool. I'll get this extra large pack of tampons and some Angie shit myself drugs, please. Yeah. And didn't I just want to call in a hole and die and shit myself? Well, you could have not shit yourself because you took the don't shit yourself tablets. So we get to Jakarta. Speaking of the don't shit yourself tablets.

So we get to Jakarta and. So it's like a fucking what, like 12-hour journey. By the time we went through Sydney and stuff, yeah. And then we have to speak at this conference late in the afternoon. Yeah. We're supposed to go in the morning and my stomach is just gurgling. Yeah. And, you know, traffic's bad.

Sometimes the toilet is like those drop pits. Did you see any of those drop pits on the bathroom? So I was just like, oh, maybe I'll just kind of stay in the hotel for an extra couple of hours. So we were about to like kind of get on the bus and you texted me and said, fuck it, 911. 911. I need to stay here.

And I went, mate, I got it. I'll rep us. I can take care of the day. Yeah. So I rock up later with my backpack and in the backpack I've got Imodium. Yeah. I've got stuff called D-Gas. Yeah.

Basically every don't shit yourself thing that you could think of. I don't know if that's what they're meant for, but is a fisherman's friend? Do we have this conversation? We talked about fisherman's friend because it's for fresh breath. Oh, okay. I just thought because fishermen. Why are you shitting in your mouth? What?

The shit that comes out of this mouth every week on the podcast. Am I right? Are you feeling a bit weird? Are you feeling like a little bit vulnerable? I've taken a lot of drugs this week. But are you feeling a little bit vulnerable because the voice you just did was a bit funny? Okay. I am feeling vulnerable.

So I didn't want to just rock up. With a backpack. Well, just with my hands holding a jar of Imodium and a fucking whatever. So I'm like, I'll put it in my backpack. And then it was a bit awkward because I just had like two or three. Like my backpack was clearly empty. Yep. And it just looks silly, right? So you just like, I'll put it in my backpack. And then it was a bit awkward because I just had like two or three. Like my backpack was clearly empty. Yep. And it just looks silly, right?

So you're just like, well, I've got to fill it with shit. I've got to fill my backpack up with shit. So I just like grabbed a pair of pants, a pair of socks, a book, just to like fill the bag up a little. And because when you walk into any place in Jakarta, they actually screen your bags. So it's kind of like, oh, maybe. Bomb check, screen check.

Make it look like I'm not just, you know, carrying a fucking pharmacy in my bag. So I roll into the bags. Yeah. So it's kind of like, oh, maybe. Bomb check, screen check. Make it look like I'm not just, you know, carrying a fucking pharmacy in my bag. So I roll into the conference to speak. You know, I leave it as late as I can. Yeah. Say hi to everyone. Tony's there getting ready, holding down the fort, shaking hands on behalf of us.

Thank you for holding down the fort for the team. And then I ran out and you said, oh, have you got some water? I said, yeah, there's some in my bag. So I walk over to your backpack, which obviously I know it was your backpack, which obviously I know it was your backpack. And I opened the back part looking for the bottle of water and I'm like scurrying through your bag. And I'm like, what the fuck's this? And I realized you have a pair of pants in your bag. And I go, so you probably thought that I could go the other way, but I

actually went, oh my God, he's really sick. He's so worried that he's going to shit himself. He's brought spare pants. And anyway, I find the water, I have a sip, and I don't say anything. We're about to go on the stage. We're about to do this fucking 40-minute talk with these fucking professional Indonesian fucking podcasters.

And you are polite. I am. You coming up to me and being like, how fucked is it? Like, that doesn't help. Yeah. And I'll also add that when I rocked up, everyone from Spotify knew I took the morning off. Yeah. And I reckon 15 people on the way went, hey, Ryan, how you doing?

How's your stomach? How's your tummy? You still shitting? Yeah, okay. Did you eat something bad? Yeah. But everyone kind of understood because they're like, oh, when you travel, it's different food. But then you have that conversation and go, yeah, anyway, you just go around the side there to the stage.

And I get to the stage and the stage manager's like, oh, Ryan, how's your stomach? Heard you've been shitting on it. And I'm like, oh, I've had this conversation 15 times. So thank you for not making me have that conversation again. That's okay. And so I've gone, oh, my God, you're actually really sick. You're so worried you're going to shit yourself that you've brought

spare pants. Like this isn't good. We're about to go on the stage. I'm like, cool. I'm going to just like we'll get through this and then after that like I can talk to you properly. Because obviously we've got like a rapport where I would privately be able to talk to you about anything. And then so after we get on stage, goes great, bring the house down,

whatever, we come off and we go, look, how about we head back to the hotel, have a bit of a rest before we come back for the party. And as we're walking out, said to you mate thank you so much for coming and like being by my side really appreciate it i held down the fort for the morning thank you for coming back i saw the spare pants like fuck bro you're obviously really cruel and you went what and i went i like it's okay like it's safe space mate like all good i saw this i'm like mate it's okay. Like, it's a safe space, mate. Like, all good. I saw this. I'm like, mate, it's okay. Safe space.

I saw the spare pants. Like, I'm really sorry that that's how sick you were. You shouldn't have come. And you go, oh, no. Oh, no, I was just trying to fill out the bag. I was trying to fill out the bag. The fact that you thought for an hour and a half that I was walking around with a spare pair of pants in a backpack because I was that confident I was going to poo myself in a plaza is harrowing.

The fact that you just went, oh, yep, he's that confident. And I shut the bag and I went, okay. I thank you for not asking in the moment. Yes. The fuck I had a wee shout out in the moment. But also, thanks for bringing it up later. Yeah, because imagine for the rest in the moment. Yes. The fuck I had a wee shout out in the moment. But also, thanks for bringing it up later. Yeah, because imagine for the rest of my life, I just lived thinking he almost shit himself.

He had to bring spare pants. When would you have ever mentioned it? Like maybe I had a sore stomach in five years' time. And you go, oh, did you bring your spare pants? Yeah, did you bring spare pants? We're travelling together again and I go, don't forget your spare pants. And you're like, what? Remember that time five years ago in Jakarta when you almost shat yourself so you bring your spare pants? Yeah, did you bring your spare pants? We're travelling together again and I go, don't forget your spare pants. And you're like, what?

Remember that time five years ago in Jakarta when you almost shat yourself so you carried around spare pants? And you were like, oh, no, that's not what happened. Thank God. Yeah, so luckily I did bring it up and we kind of scooched that to the side. So whilst you were being ultra supportive, I will say that because you did hold down the fort in the morning and shook a lot of hands and stuff and you were very, I mean, when Tony's doing better than me, I know about it.

When I'm feeling good, I'm feeling good. Yeah, she's feeling good and, like, deservedly so. So you were like, hey, I've come to a country I've never been to. I fucking turned back. Which I'm not good at. You're not good at. And I've just fucking got it done. And you had a bit of, I wouldn't say arrogance.

I was really chuffed. Proud, chuffed. I was really proud of myself. And you had a bit of, I wouldn't say arrogance. I was really chuffed. Proud, chuffed. I was really proud of myself. And you should have been. And I was proud of you. And one of the big bosses from Spotify after the show came up behind backstage and was like, Tony, I'm really proud of you. Gave me a big kiss on the cheek.

All guns blazing. They were really happy. Really happy. So Tony's all puffed up. I can do no wrong in this beautiful new country. I don't know where I am, but I'm going with the flow, bro. And it was like the first time I'd been like alone internationally. Like I know we were together, but first time like I'd been without my mum

or with Torbs or whatever. So I was feeling good about myself. So we get a cab back to the hotel and Tony steps out of the cab, puts her foot in it, and anyone who's been into an Asian country will know that the gutters and the crevasses and, you know. Just like uneven concrete. Uneven concrete.

Steps out of the four-wheel drive, rolls her ankle, and lands on your knee, face, and gut. Literally. And on a guy sitting on the side of the street. Yep, onto his crux. I, like, stacked it so hard. I, like, hit the ground. My bag spilled out all over the street.

Yeah. Like, my Imodium, my Don't Shoot Myself, my spare pants. The tampons all over the main street out of the front of your car. Just, like, everything spills out into the side of this fucking, like, dank street. Yeah. I miss this because I'm getting out the other side of the car. And so by the time I get around, I just see Tony not crying,

but there's a tear in your eye and you're noticeably limping. And I'm like just a bit disheveled. So I'd kind of stood back up. Yeah. And then you're like, hey, you're a good mate. And I was like, no, I just fell over. You're like, oh, what the fuck? And you like patted me on the back. Yeah. Because you're like, oh, you've a good mate. And I was like, no, I just fell over. You're like, oh, what the fuck? And you like patted me on the back because you're like,

oh, you've obviously just like stumbled out of the car. So I didn't want to look at it and I definitely didn't. There's like a fucking thousand people in the street. Everyone's fucking looking at this chubby white woman that's just hit the deck and we hobble into the hotel and you didn't realise how bad it was. And I was wearing like a long bodycon dress yeah and as thank you and as we got into the elevator i was like fuck here we go and i lifted

it up and you went oh yeah there's like blood pissing out of my there's one of those big flaps in the leg like yeah it's not good and i was like skin flat with blood flowing from and i was like i've really hurt myself. And you're like, oh, what can I do? Do you want me to call someone? And I was like, let's go to the front desk. I'm just going to see if they've got some first aid. And I walk over there and I go, Salamat Datang.

And they're like, hi, how can we help you? And I'm like, do you guys have any first aid? They go, oh, and they didn't really understand me. And I was about to cry. So I just pulled my dress up and showed them. They all went. So there was three of them. One was super caring.

Actually, they were all super caring. They were all very caring. But is it fair to say that first one almost vomited? Yep. She was not happy that I just. And some people don't like the sight of blood. I get it. And that's fair enough.

And she wasn't expecting to see it. But I didn't know how else to fucking communicate that there was like a bit of an emergency. It's not on you, but she almost threw up on us. Yeah. It wasn't great. And then she almost threw up on us. Yeah. It wasn't great. And then so they ran off and kind of got me some supplies and stuff and they're like, do you need anything? And I was like, no, I'm like trying to hold back the tears.

All I wanted to do was cry. And I was like, I just, and so we jumped into the lift together and you're like carrying me to the lift and you're like, do you want me to come up to your room and give you a hand? I was like, no, fuck off. Did you just know that you needed to get to your room so you could start crying yes and how long after the door closed did you did it come negative three seconds it started coming out like as i was walking to my room and i knew that no one else would see me oh that's what i said

earlier in the day it started coming out as i was walking to my room luckily i had those spare pants so and how's your leg now mate mate? It's pretty fucked actually. Yeah, it does look fucked. It's still so it's the same leg that I hurt when I fell off my scooter. So we're talking butterfly clips. We're talking you going and getting a tetanus shot. Oh, yeah. Getting some of the Indonesian gravel taken out of your shin and knee.

So I like I sent Torbs a photo of my knee so that he would be prepared so that when I rang him and I was bawling my eyes out, he wouldn't be like, have you been robbed? What's happened? Like what's going on? So I sent him a picture of the leg and I saw that he'd seen it. Then I hit FaceTime and I was just bawling my eyes out. He's like, sweetie, oh, my God.

And it was just such a mess. And I had to antiseptic my own leg. That's fucking rough. Which is fucked. Fucking rough. And I was very proud of myself for being able to do that. And I'm proud of you too. That's a hard thing to do.

Because it hurts so fucking much. And you're sitting there like, and I'm sitting in the bath crying like a fucking ex-wife. And I'm like dabbing my leg. Oh, it was fucking awful. Do you know in the Prestige, Christian Bale's character has to cut off his own finger? Yes. And where he got the motivation for that scene was he's like, I've just imagined Tony Lodge putting her own antiseptic on her leg.

Yeah, I've heard that. Because you know you'll be better off in the long run, but there's short-term pain for long-term gain. And it's like when someone else is doing it to you, you can kind of like concentrate on other things, but I'm looking at the leg and doing it to you, you can kind of like concentrate on other things. But I'm looking at the leg and doing it to myself, you know. And then it was fucking lovely. So I'm fucking sitting in the bath bawling my eyes out.

Torbs is on FaceTime. He feels like a fucking, you know. I mean, I was there. I was still fucking useless. Yeah. And you're just busy shitting yourself. And I hear the ding dong at my hotel door. And it's a big thing of ice

to like obviously the girls from reception centre with a big pot of hot chocolate with it. So cute. They obviously knew that I was on the verge of tears. And they're like, so they sent out some, they were lovely and so caring. So hang on. When, knowing the Tony Lodge I know, and I will just say everyone who we met in Indonesia was fucking lovely.

Oh, so hospitable, fucking kind. So the girls at reception, they're like, okay, we'll send her up some ice, we'll do this, we'll send her a nice hot chocolate. Yeah. And multiple choice question. When they rocked up with the hot chocolate, did you go, oh, thank you so much, that's a beautiful thing to do?

Yeah. Or did you say, I didn't order this. You must have the wrong room. I ordered room service last night, not tonight. I didn't order hot chocolate. Get out of my room. Who are you? Get out of my room.

Okay. The third option where blood is pissing from my leg, I open the door and the guy goes, Miss Lodge, like I've just brought this up for you. And I go, I'm so sorry, but I didn't order this. I'm so sorry, but you've got the wrong room. I didn't mean to. You can be a shithead.

I've been ordered this. This is not my hot chocolate. It's not my hot chocolate. I'm surprised you didn't just walk off. The fact that you had the stamina to go, yeah, yeah, you're right about everything you've said. We just thought we'd get you a hot chocolate. When did it click?

How far into your speech? He just goes, I think this is for you. And I went, I don't think it is. But I'll take it. But thank you. And I'll take it. But thank you. And then I drank it. There's someone still waiting for their hot chocolate. So we've done this conference.

We're not in a good way. We get back to the hotel and I think we faced each time to each other. I was in the bathroom. You were on your back crying. And we're like, we're probably not going to go to this after party. Which was going to be like the big goodbye. Yeah. So apparently, as reported from our bosses who have returned to Australia as well,

because it was a big Spotify thing. Yeah. And we were the international guests of honour. We were. Ladies and gentlemen, Tony and Ryan, great speech this afternoon. Unfortunately, our guests of honour won't be able to make it to the party today. Ryan is shitting himself and Tony fell out of a car. Oh, we're not inviting them next year.

Those very down-to-earth, low-maintenance people have really struggled to adapt to the climate in a five-star hotel and a beautifully clean conference. This is not my hot chocolate! And then me going, it looks like hot chocolate! Fuck, I hope that didn't come from my room. Hey, it's Rae from Alpena, Michigan, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.

Now that we've stopped shitting ourselves and falling out of cars. Is it warm in the studio today? Big thank you to a few of our champion tubbers over at our Patreon. Elise Manikas. Ooh, Elise. Love that. Erin Rachel. Thank you so much.

Mitch Clark. Clarky. Oh, like that. I'm sweet. Brittany Duchke. John Weatherford. And Alicia Lemiao. Stick it in my duchke.

There is also, we do have a bit of contention over in the Patreon. What's going on? Because you may recall last week we talked about the big gleece. Yes. Okay. Well, apparently there's another of the big gleece that previously we've called the big gleece. Multiple big gleaces. So there's two people. Who believe they are the big gleece.

Yeah. Well, we had to split up the woots. Yes. So we might have to. All right. Let's settle this. Yeah. Well, we had to split up the woots. Yes. So we might have to. All right. Let's settle this in a jelly ring. Okay. You know what I said.

Mad wrestle. A gaggle of Glees. They're part of the gaggle. So if there's anybody else with the surname Gleeson that would like to join the gaggle of Gleeson. Tom Gleeson from Hard Quiz. Hard! Yeah, so that was my solution. So if there's any other Gleesons that would like to join

the gaggle of Gleeson, please let us know. I will actually not just wait for Gleesons to come in. I will actively search for Gleesons. Find them. Just add them on Facebook and go, please join our Patreon so we can call you out and say, do you want to be part of the gaggle of Gleeson? Maybe that can be their own tier of Patreon.

I like that. You get a dollar off if you last say exclusive. Yep, make it happen. But also over in the Patreon, bit of drama. We have promised every week that this week will be movies about Paris. And for five weeks, we have forgotten about it. Yeah, we just kept forgetting. And then actually last week, Ryan goes, you know what we should do this week?

Movies that are on the plane. And I said, we have to do the fucking Paris movies. So our options were From Paris With Love, which is the John Travolta movie I was telling you about. One percent. Did not do well. Did not do well. Midnight in Paris with Owen Wilson.

Great movie. Okay, so when I saw Midnight in Paris, I thought that you meant Paris Hilton's sex tape. Okay, so Ian, are you fucking kidding me? He messages and goes, missed opportunity to watch what is called One Night in Paris, I thought that you meant Paris Hilton's sex tape. Okay, so Ian, are you fucking kidding me? He messages and goes, missed opportunity to watch what is called One Night in Paris. Oh, yep. Have you seen that? Yeah.

Yeah. I have not seen it. Yeah, right. I'm pretty sure that when I tried to download it, I got a virus on my family computer. I've never heard a more late 90s, early 2000s statement than that. Yep. Yep. And you fucking just summed up nostalgia and pop culture of that era in one sentence.

So, and you're right, this is a missed opportunity. If I had thought that, I would have put it on the thing. Yeah, of course. Hopefully it didn't win. Imagine if you had to rap about that. Oh, imagine if everybody got a virus on their family laptop. And put it in a... Okay.

Passport to Paris with the Olsen twins. 10%. I would have liked that. Yeah. Moulin Rouge was up there, I believe. Yeah, 26%. Hugo, Amelie were on the list. But the winner is Ratatouille.

And can I just say, Poshy Joshy, who's a tarpa, if Ratatouille isn't chosen, it just goes to show that tarpas are rattist. And they discriminate against animals dreaming of becoming chefs. Hashtag Ryan is a rattest. Hashtag Tony, queen of rat rights. Matt Mowry says, if it's not Ratatouille, I'll throw hands. Wow. And Cat Big Meow, Big Meow Katerina, oh, that makes sense,

is stoked it's Ratatouille and can't wait to hear what you guys have to say, which is interesting considering I haven't seen Tony scrunch her face up like that since she fell out of a taxi in Jakarta on Wednesday. It's been a big week. Why are you? I'd never seen it. Okay. I'd never seen Ratatouille, which would probably shock people

because I quite like a Disney movie. I'm not a Disney adult, but I like a Disney movie. Okay. I'd never seen Ratatouille, which would probably shock people because I quite like a Disney movie. I'm not a Disney adult, but I like a Disney movie. An hour and 50 minutes of just pure shit and I hated it. For an animated film, an hour and 50 minutes is long. And you know that my cap is 130. Wow. So we're already

20 minutes over. Even deep into the 120s, you're fucking playing with fire. Yeah, that's actually a great point. It is. And with my leg the way that it is yeah you're on crutches um so why why not well i know it was long i mean you know when that oh i just i get okay keep in minders, as part of our Patreon-ion, have said, Tony, this is the one for you. Let us give you something you'll enjoy. I just don't know why they would think I would like this.

Why didn't you like it? I thought it was a cute movie and it was kind of inspiring and doing the right thing, chasing your dreams. Start the blog. So I get that movies are like magical and beautiful and whatever and it's like, oh, open to interpretation and like you let things go because it's a movie. Are you a huge fan of Harry Potter about to tell me this was too far-fetched? Okay.

It's not about the actual thing being too far-fetched, but all the small details in the movie were too far-fetched for me. So, for instance, when the rat first gets Remy, is it? Yeah. Gets on the head and, like, why does he have to do all the individual things? So, like, they're, like, practising him getting Alfredo to crack an egg. Yeah. And dice an onion or whatever.

Surely that if the rat directs him to the onion, he can fucking figure out that it needs to be chopped up. Because it's like, what's the secret recipe? I can guide you through this whole thing or I can go, oh, mate, two cups of onion, bit of basil, fucking stir some carrot in. Literally.

Like, fuck it off. All good. You know what I'm saying? And then he practices with the human, Alfredo, being blindfolded and the rat can see. Yeah. He's never blindfolded in the kitchen. So they can become as one and he can trust him.

It's a trust exercise. Maybe it's because you've – do you trust people? I just love stupid stuff, but this is a fucking bridge too far is what I'll say. That's what I'll say. Why doesn't the rat have a French accent? The French rat. Yeah, I mean, yeah.

And if you saw a picture of the actor who voices him, you'd hate it even more. Who is it? It's this US comedian. I think he's on King of Queens. He's like Kevin James' mate. Oh, Kevin James' mate. You'd see him and go, oh, fucking that guy.

Yeah, you're right. Why isn't he French? Why isn't he French? Alfredo, also not French. Oh, no. Who's Alfredo? The guy. The that guy. Yeah, you're right. Why isn't he French? Why isn't he French? Alfredo, also not French. Oh, no. Who's Alfredo? The guy. The main guy.

The guy whose head he's on. Yeah, so why were they in Paris? Oh, thank you. And he reckons he's fucking Gusteau fucking Ding Dong's son. I don't say any resemblance. No. Anyway. And then.

I've got more resemblance with my parents. How would you know? And then. No, the ones who bought me from the resemblance with my parents. How would you know? And then, right? No, the ones who bought me from the store. Oh, sorry. Got you. I thought you meant the original ones. How would you know?

But that would make sense to have resemblance because. Yeah. Yeah. They accept the rat in the end, right? Yeah. All of a sudden it's actually fine that the rat can cook and he's part of the kitchen. And then.

What was the guy's motto? Anyone can cook. Anyone, not any rat. He's cooking for people in a fucking restaurant. Who's being rattest now? Also, what is the message? Oh, great art can come from anywhere, but I've watched a two-hour movie for the restaurant

to just get shut down in the end anyway. Oh, spoiler alert. Obviously not anybody can cook because then why would the restaurant get shut down? And then he keeps cooking anyway just like in secret. No one fucking learns anything. No one learns their lesson from the rat not being able to cook. And then the guy comes and goes, oh, he knows the way I like it.

And then he's just still cooking. He's just still cooking. No one learns anything. Children are watching this movie. What is the lesson? I just don't think they've thought it through. That's what I'll say. The folks at Pixar. they've thought it through. That's what I'll say. The folks at Pixar who think every inch of every shot through,

they just like phone this man? Well, they obviously got fucking so caught up in the background of Paris that they didn't think about the actual story. And then they go, fuck, that movie comes out tomorrow. We better fucking jot something down. Because honestly. It comes out tomorrow. We better jot something down.

Oh, what if he's just a rat in your cook's? Yeah, yeah, that sounds good, mate. We better jot something down. Oh, what if he's just a rat and he cooks? Yeah, yeah, that sounds good, mate. We're already working on Toy Story 44, so just fucking put a rat in a hat and off we go. Well, that's exactly what I reckon happened. Yeah. It made me want to fucking live in Paris a lot less,

let me tell you that. Apparently there's a big rat problem there. A lot of rats everywhere. Well, maybe this was the point. We watched Julia and Julia and you came back saying, I'm moving to Paris. And I was practising my accent. I had a beret on. You've got Duolingo.

You're learning the language. That's not a joke. I did. Try to learn on the plane like a fucking idiot. I downloaded Duolingo before we got on the plane. Then we got off the plane and Ryan goes, did you do Duolingo? I was like, nah.

I watched fucking Mean Girls on the plane. I expected you to, when we spoke at the airport, for you to be bilingual. Yeah. But maybe what you've learned is that Melbourne's a good place for you. Yeah. Well, I'm not fucking going to France. Whew.

Sorry, everyone, that you were excited for me to watch it, but I didn't like it. And is it going to be aggressive rap? It's not aggressive. It's just probably more factual than it is about me liking the movie, which is different for me because normally it's very passionate. It's probably just a bit like whatever. I thought it could be very passionate but just the wrong way.

No, it's just factual, I'd say. It's basically a rap that I could have found on IMDb. You sound like a person on Twitter, if that still exists, when this podcast comes out, that when they get called out, they're like, well, it's just the facts. Well, it is just the facts. When they're being mean and being a bully. I'm not being a bully.

You're an ugly mole. It's just the facts. You're an ugly mole. Bring back mole. Great word. Yeah. All right, here we go. MC Tony Lodge about her not quite favourite film, Ratatouille.

The movie rat. All right. Ratatouille. Team Lodge, Ratatouille. We kept forgetting about movies from France. We. Finally remembered now it's cooking with rats. I read.

For anyone just wants to cook, you know. Great sense of smell, but who can he tell? Skinner keeps trying to catch him out. Alfredo's happy to accept the clout. Remy might only be a rat, but Alfredo's a fucking little brat. Me, me, me, me,

me, me. He was a little brat. He was a little fucking brat. And then he's like, oh no, well, yeah, I'm just so good at cooking. He's doing that press conference with the frying pans. I really didn't like it. It put a bad taste in my mouth. I didn't feel like anybody had a good attitude.

The irony of a movie about delicious food not leaving you with a good taste in your mouth. That's very funny. It's not lost on me. That's very funny. I've got something that might put you in a good mood. Oh, my God. Let me hear it.

So Bridget, my beautiful wife, rolls in and goes I've got the perfect idea for a movies poll. Do you trust Bridget with ideas? Everybody thinks I've got a good idea. Do you trust Bridget with her ideas? Yeah. Don't pull that face. I mean, it's the person that thinks that they invented the feature now.

Well, there is some discrepancies in some of her history of making claims. Sorry Bridget, I know you're listening, but it is true. You do think that you invented the feature now. So in some personal news, Bridget and I have acquired a smart TV. Yes. Very exciting times. We've never had a smart TV.

Your family's now complete. Our family's now complete. We have a smart TV and it's like HD. And we've never, like, is that normal? You're rolling your eyes. Is that not? Yeah. But we've never had like, is that normal? You're rolling your eyes. Is that not? Yeah. But like, we've never had a HD TV.

We've never had a smart TV. We've never had like the thing that has any depth. Like there's no 3D. What's the opposite of 3D? Just a flat piece of paper. Like when we watch the football, it looks like they're all standing next to each other because there is no depth in our screen. So Bridget says this.

This is the first time we've ever had a HD TV. We've never had a smart TV. What's a brilliant looking movie that will do it justice to be the first show we watch on this screen? That's fun. Because you know how at the time, and I hope this doesn't work, but like Avatar was so visually like well made and the 3D-ness and the whatever.

Yeah, I'm fucking going to stop you right there. We are not watching Avatar. I said I hope it doesn't win because I heard the story. We're not even putting it on the fucking poll. Good. But do you know what I'm saying? Yes, I do. What's a movie that's got beautiful cinematography that can do the TV justice,

to let it stretch your legs? Show me what you got. Interstellar. Really? I love that movie. Yeah. Beautiful looking. Very good movie. Are you,stellar. Really? I love that movie. Yeah. Beautiful looking. Very good movie.

Are you, Tony Lodge, recommending a Christopher Nolan movie? Well, I know that that's what you're fucking angling for. Because that's a bit of you. Christopher Nolan does know cinematography. Yeah. So I'll meet you in the middle. I will not watch Inception again. But I will watch Interstellar.

That's a very good movie. But do you like the category? I do. I love it. Yeah, movies that are pretty. Maybe we could watch Planet Earth. Maybe's a very good movie. But do you like the category? I do. I love it. Yeah, movies that are pretty. Maybe we could watch Planet Earth. Maybe it could be an option. Like a David Attenborough kind of thing. Movie category?

Great idea, Bridget. Great idea. I'll put it in a thread in the thing. Yeah, great. Love a feature now. Tony, what do you love to see besides Ratatouille? We got a message from Johnny in our Patreon. Johnny! And this is another iteration of a similar story we've heard, but my favourite version I've heard so far.

Hey, Tony and Ryan, recently started listening to The Pod and absolutely love it. Oh, great. Whenever I hear someone writing with some embarrassing story about listening to The Pod, I can't help but think, OK, that's too dramatic to be real, but hear me out, because now I feel like an arsehole. I recently visited my parents in Arkansas and on the flight back I was in my seat and pulled out one of my earbuds and somehow it flung across the aisle.

So you know when you pull out your AirPods and they kind of like sometimes go flying? It went flying. The people on the other side were trying to find it. No one could find it. And he went, look, that's gone for good. I'll just have to listen on one. I'll just have to live with this. So he's got one

AirPod good to go and he goes, okay, well I've downloaded fucking 20 episodes that I can listen to on the plane. The flight's gone all good when they landed. He realised that somebody two rows up found the AirBud, the AirPod, AirBud, the movie, the dog movie about playing

basketball. What a great film. We should do that the week after, AirBud the Air Pod, Air Bud, the movie, the dog movie about playing basketball. What a great film. Fuck, we should do that the week after, Air Bud movies. Anyway, finds the Air Pod wedged between their carry-on luggage on the floor and their chair. What? And he thought that the Air Bud would like, Air Pod, sorry, would like disconnect or whatever. But turns out it was still playing. And because he only had, because Johnny only had one AirPod in, he turned it right up so he could hear.

And so the whole- This guy's been watching- Been listening to fucking 20 episodes of our pod. Of our pod. On his AirPods. Fucking like on 100% volume because he only had one AirPod in. And the other one was playing and the people were like, where the fuck is that coming from?

Like they thought that the people behind them were like listening on loud and you know how on the airplane you kind of go, oh, that fucking asshole's listening on loud. They didn't say anything. They just fucking copped it for the 20 hours or whatever it was. But it turned out that they'd been listening the whole time and they actually quite liked it. Is that right?

Well, welcome to the show. Even though the whole time they were listening to disconnected sex noises coming from the crowd, which would probably be quite disconcerting. And can I just say, you cannot buy that kind of marketing. You cannot. So weird conversations, sex jokes, Tony orgasming, babies crying, et cetera.

They heard it all, but they thought it was hilarious and asked for the name of the pod. You know how you suggest pods to people that you like, but you know they're honestly not going to listen? Well, they had no choice. They had to listen the whole flight. For 20 hours. And he said, love ya.

Really glad that I subjected somebody to that. And pretty funny. I also always think that when people say, oh, my phone disconnected and blah, blah, blah, I'm like, that's actually not my fault. But this one's hilarious. So thanks, Johnny, for sharing that. That's so funny.

You love to see it. You would normally not be empathetic to this person? No, but I think that's really funny. But it's worked out for you? You love to see that. Yeah, you do love to see that. That is actually fucking funny. My love to see it.

And have you ever been in like a painful situation but like you're trying to lighten the mood? You know, like, you're looking for the silver lining in the moment. Oh, yeah. Here is a great example. Oh. Do you know someone getting a vasectomy? Why not send them this vasectomy cake that looks like this?

Have a look at this cake someone's made for their friend getting a vasectomy. What does that look like? So, hanging out of the bottom of a hotel gown is two balls. Hospital gown or a hotel gown? What did I say? Hotel gown. Hospital gown.

Well, I guess depending on how professional you're going. A hospital gown with scissors and a little scalpel and the balls have been stitched back up and there's a little bit of blood on there. So it's post-op. Yep.

And can you read what it says on the bottom? It says snip, snip, hooray. If you know someone getting a vasectomy. Great idea. Hey, silver lining, painful situation. How do you cheer them up? Love that. Send them a vasectomy cake, snip, snip, fucking array.

And if you're looking for a cake in Melbourne, we've got a Miss Noble in Melbourne. Maybe she'd help you out. Or Cake by Kendall. Two fucking lovers of the pod, great cake makers. I reckon they'd be able to whip that up for you. And I reckon they'd love to. And I reckon they'd absolutely love to.

Sorry for throwing you in the deep end there, but you'd fucking love that. You'd'd love to. And I reckon they'd absolutely love to. Sorry for throwing you in the deep end there, but you'd fucking love that. You'd fucking love that. I also love that the fictional balls in the cake are freshly waxed. They are. A hairy ball on a cake is not my first choice, and I think that's fair. Yeah, and maybe what happened to them is what happened to you that day. You went to cancel a wax appointment for your wife,

and you ended up just walking in there and getting waxed because you didn't want to waste the money. My wife was going to get her legs waxed, but she's sick. Do you want to do my balls? Because I'm about to get split open on a cake. Yeah, so that would actually be lovely. I like to, you know, no maintenance down there. They go, yeah, we can do that.

Snip, snip, hooray. Rip, rip, hooray, so I can snip, snip, hooray. Yeah. Wow. You love to say that. That's for sure. Tomorrow on the show, things you can say at the bank and also in the bedroom. That's going to be unreal.

We'll chat to you then. Love you. Bye. Snoop, snoop around. Because it rhymes with hip, hip, right? I get it. Yeah, it's very good. Because that's like what you would say.

At a cake. Birthday. Yeah. With the hips. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yep.