Toni and Ryan - Ryan's Threesome

Episode Date: March 7, 2024

Awkward stuff that maybe shouldn't be awkward - and my new glasses. Love ya!!!! xxx [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge. Good morning. And we're both going to refrain from saying the first thing that comes to our mind. Oh, that's not a good game. When I say we're about to call Emma Derwin. Well, now I can't say anything. Yep. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it, don't say it, don't say it, don't say it, don't say it, don't say it, don't say it, don't say it,

don't say it, don't say it, don't say it, don't say it. Hello? Oh, Emma Derwin-Pencil, what's up? I'm good. The one thing we said not to say. Ryan said very specifically don't say what you want to say and I just went for it. Emma, you got to.

Emma, how many times have you got that? Or are you actually an heir to the Derwent pencil throne? I'm actually, no, it's my married name. So I only just became a Derwent to the throne about two years ago. Oh. So you married him for his pencil money? Yeah. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah. I would have too. I mean, why do you think I'm with the Toblerone fortune, whatever that is. If there's one thing I would invest in in the digital age, it's pencils. Yeah, no, you're in for some cash there. Will you approve today's podcast?

Absolutely. Legend. Yeah, pencil that in. Ah! Yes. Hi, this is Emma from Triaga, New South Wales, and I approve this podcast. It's so normal to want to say Happy New Year.

I said this the other day, that I literally have to stop myself now. It's a beautiful habit. Yeah, welcome to a video show. You can watch it on the Spotify app on Smart TV or the app if you like. Oh my God, that was a whole mouthful. A lot harder than it had to be. And I don't want to spoil anything. Coming up today, I believe Tony has a prop.

Prop comedy. Do with that what you will. Prop comedy, it's coming. There are props on the way. But first. Stop. There's a prop. Look at that.

Turn around and listen. What's that song? Ice is back with a brand new invention. Something grabs a hold of me tightly. Don't know the rest of the words at nightly. Boo, stop. I don't know. Ice, ice, baby.

You're actually too accurate and we might get triggered for a copyright break. Yeah, that's true actually. Yeah, I do look a lot like Vanilla Ice. I'm more meant the sound, but yeah, all good. I listen with my eyes. I tried to wink, but I just bleeped. You winked with both eyes. Yeah, I thought I was going to do like a real seductive like,

can you do a good wink? I dated a girl that couldn't wink. She couldn't do one eye. So anytime she went to wink. No, you said wank. I'm asking you to wank. Wank me. Don't wink me off. That's not what I want. But anytime she went to wink. No, you said wank. I'm asking you to wank. Yeah, wank me. Don't wink me off.

That's not what I want. But anytime she went to wink, she'd be like. And you're like. Can you do a good wink? I don't think so. I'm not a winker. Here's mine. Ooh.

See, I'm a thinker, not a winker. And I've always said that. Ooh. Up here for thinking, down there for winking. You know what I'm saying? I just didn't wink. Was any good? I didn't say.

Yeah, my point exactly. I was winking. I didn't wink. Was any good? I didn't see. Yeah, my point exactly. I was winking. I couldn't see. Oh, no, that wasn't good. You looked like you were just like half your face went to sleep. Like a sex tourist in Thailand? Yeah, it was crazy. Describe this feeling, Tony Lodge, you watching slash listening.

You're having friends over for a few wines. Oh, what am I wearing? Sneaky little margaritas. Did I put shoes on before the friends came over? Yeah, you got shoes on. And I would say like you're sitting on your nice couch, like in your nice clothes. Like not like a full going out.

Maybe a little lip. Maybe a little lip and like the shirt tight. Like just a little put together. The fire's on. Fire's on. Like kind of vibe. Dips, olives, maybe a cheese board. Fucking, what time is everyone coming?

Oh, this sounds great. Do you guys want to come over tonight? We'll do this. They said, yeah, we'll be around about six. Nice. That's a good time. Yeah, and because you're already an organised Tony Lodge, it's already in advance.

You sit down on the couch at 5.55 and you're all dressed up and all the food's there and you're kind of just sitting there by yourself. It's like when you're waiting for an electrician and you go, well, I can't go to the bathroom because they're about to come over. I think in 2024, and mind you, it's only the 8th of March today, how many times have we referenced already this year, a tradie's on the way and I need to use the bathroom? How many tradies are coming over to your house or how often are you using the bathroom because this feels like a daily stress?

Okay, so this new house that I have lived in for not even six months, never had a tradie over. So then why is it such a concern to you? This is just universal stress that I feel like anybody can relate to. So is it weird and a bit awkward when you're just sitting there by yourself? Yeah, because being fully dressed in your house is so uncomfortable because you're like, and I can't like pat Pippa. I can't do anything because I need to stay clean

because people are about to come over. I wasn't planning on telling the story, but I just remembered something. What? When we were in Bunbury, Bridget needed a change of scenery. Like work was sort of getting a bit tricky. I needed a change of scenery. Work was a bit tricky. And I got this job in Canberra and it was sort of like our ticket out of there.

Like we kind of needed a fresh start. Yeah, nice. And I got the call like, you've got the job. Isn't that the best feeling? Yeah. So I put on a suit and I was going to go to Bridget's work and like tell her in person because I was like, I found out during the day I wanted to tell her,

but I was like, I don't want to call her. I want to be there. Yeah. So I put on a- You didn't just think, oh, I'll wait for you to come home? No, because I was so excited. And why did you have a suit on? What does the suit have to do with it?

No, I was like, it's a fun, special, different occasion. This is old Ryan. This isn't the Ryan I know. Because I'll walk in in a suit and Bridget will be like, what the hell's going on? I'm like, we got the job. Holy shit. She probably would be like, are you proposing right now? Yeah. And you're like, oh no, I'm moving to Canberra and you're not coming. So this is actually me breaking up with you. Yeah, you're going to have to pay my side of the rent as well. Yeah. I was like, no, I'll surprise her. And I think I was getting towards the end of her work day.

So I was like, then maybe we'll go down to the thing and get a drink or whatever. Yeah. So I get there in the suit and then I go, hey, Bridget, why are you wearing a suit? And I go, I've got some news. She's like, great. I've just got a quick meeting. Can you just wait here for half an hour? And just jumps into this meeting at work.

Because, you know, I've just rocked up to her work unannounced. And so then I'm just loitering. In a suit. In a winery. The suit makes it worse, eh? Yeah. And someone's like, can I help you? And I was like, oh, I'm just waiting for bridge.

And they go, did you want a seat or water or something? I probably fucking thought you were an undercover cop. Yeah. You know, we're like. Whatever you're selling, we're not buying. And this winery. You're a speedboat salesman. They're like, fuck off.

It's off the beaten track. Like you can't accidentally like it's, you know, up through the hills, down around the way. And it's not like a cellar door where there's like customers coming. It's just, that's where they make the wine. So everyone's just like. How did you get in here?

What are you doing? Who let you in? And I just have to stand there for half an hour. And they go, what are you doing? I go, oh, I'm just like really excited and have some news to share. And they're like, okay. Did someone die? Like, yeah.

Like, yeah, are you on your way to a funeral or something? That was really weird. Anyway, today's topic is things that are awkward as fuck that shouldn't be awkward as fuck but are awkward as fuck. Yep. The other week I was meeting a bunch of friends at dinner on a Friday night. And Friday night in Brunswick, pretty busy, so I better make a booking.

We book a table of eight 7 30 a table of eight fucking hell 7 30 on a Friday night it was um good knocky or great knocky or something for people playing along at home fucking awesome and they get this huge table in the middle of the place and I rock up first and I'm the only one there and I go yeah it's booked under things under Liam so I'm like yeah just this one and then they called me Liam which is embarrassing because I was like well no my friend booked but and I think it was under Liam. So I'm like, yeah, just this book. And then they called me Liam, which is embarrassing because I was like, well, no, my friend booked it. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, they don't give a fuck. Yeah. But for the whole night, they're like, oh, Liam, another one? And you're like, oh. And then Liam goes, what? And you're like, when I got here? Yeah. So there's a bit of that.

Yeah. And then they sit me down. I got there a few minutes early. Unlike you. You proud of me? This is very Liam of you. Yeah, Liam energy. That's why they keep like, oh, nice with Liam's on time. Tony and Liam.

And so they got there at like 7.32, like fine. Yeah. But those four minutes, and the whole restaurant is just looking at me going, oh, this guy thinks he's got a big group of friends, does he? And I'm just sitting there on my phone. And you know that no one is actually thinking that, but like

you just can't not hear yeah and they go did you want a drink i'm like oh i guess i should wait and they're like oh so you're just gonna like just sit there like can i do something for you like no no do you want a magazine do you want a book or something did you bring your kindle with you do you know what i thought you were gonna say which is one of my most like i get so nervous about this when you go out for dinner and there's three of you and they go, oh, we don't have a table for you but we can put you at the bar and you're the friend in the middle. And the whole time you're.

Playing tennis. They're talking to each other and you're just in the middle. You've got the double chin going and you're the one that's awkward in the middle. I was talking about this to a friend the other day and it shouldn't be awkward but it is. And you're cringing at's awkward in the middle. I was talking about this to a friend the other day, and it shouldn't be awkward, but it is. And you're cringing at yourself because you don't feel like you can say anything.

You feel like you just have to watch their conversation happen because you're all in a row. Yes. Do you know what I'm talking about? It's triggered me because I've been in this situation. It's awful. So, all right, there's three of us sitting there. Yeah, and you're in the middle.

I'm in the middle And I'm actually going to leave names out Because one of them is a well known professional Who I don't want to besmirch her beautiful name Gemma Watts No No I'm sitting in the middle

And those two Are having a great time To the point where they like. You got left out of a threesome. They made out when I was sitting in the middle. Did you slip a little? I wanted to. I look great.

Because I think I was chatting to someone behind me. And then I looked back and they were like macking on. And I was just sitting there. Winking. Winking. Oh, it was excruciating. And I said, do you mind if I go? And they went, oh, yeah. I know this is a video show, but can you tell me who it was?

Secret, like this? Yeah. Tell me who it was, like this. Actually, just beep this out. No, because people will be able, it's a video show, so people will be able to read. I'll cover my mouth and you can beep it out. Okay.

No! Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was like, I'll just. Two celebrities. Two celebrities, yeah. Yeah. Well, a celebrity in Tarp World and then just probably Yeah. Yeah. So I was like, I'll just. Two celebrities. Two celebrities. Yeah. Yeah. Well, a celebrity in tarp world and then just probably a genuine celebrity.

Two celebrities. Yeah. Wow. Oh, God. We get a call from James after this gets uploaded. Yeah. Forgot to fucking beep that. Just letting you guys know.

That was fucking harrowing. Yeah. No. So that, isn't that so awkward and you feel like you just can't be part of a conversation? Also, turning around on a walk. Yeah. Kill me. Yeah, no, so isn't that so awkward and you feel like you just can't be part of a conversation? Also, turning around on a walk. Yeah. Kill me.

I'll walk to Brazil if I have to to avoid fucking turning around. Did she forget something? Oh, giving up, is she? Yeah. Had enough, is she? Had enough. Oh, you've decided that that's enough of your weird wigs, is it? You go turn around and go home and And I want to cry every time. All right.

What's worse, that? I'd rather get stung by a wasp again. Honestly. At uni the other day, I needed to go up to my lecture theatre. I was like doing my thing. I think I was on level two. Okay. Is that important?

It is. Okay. Because a group of four people must have got in the lift on level one and they were going up to where I was going. Okay. Is that important? It is. Okay. Because a group of four people must have got in the lift on level one and they were going up to where I was going. Yeah. So the doors open and there's four of them. Don't, don't. I'm going to throw up.

I'm going to be sick. They all know each other. They're all having a good time. And then I just get in and just stand there. What's worse though they stopped talking you know when you get into a lift and everyone's been like chatting and having fun then you get into the lift and they all go no this was worse because you know what happened the doors open i kind of went hey and they went yeah so then he was like and just oh and i just and then we're all going to the same place we

are the same class it turns out like big theater for people yeah then we were all going to the same place. We all had the same class, it turns out. Like big theatre filled people. Yeah. And so we all went to the same place after. And it was like us five walked in together. But people are like, oh, a group of friends, five friends. And all four went and sat over there and I was like. No, you started to walk over there, then you had to turn around.

Yeah, out of back. I was just throwing fast. Final one. Final class. Final one. Final one. Final one. Yeah. I was in a class and it was week one. A lot of class chat.

I like it. Well, I was at uni last night, so it's fresh. First class and, you know, the new term or whatever. Yeah. And so someone's obviously gone into the wrong theatre because he goes, hi, guys, welcome to managerial economics. Oh, no, I'm changing my major if that happens. I'm now a scientist.

Okay, but what do you do, Tony? Stay. Yeah. I'm on the website for the university and I'm like, yep, changing from English to science now. Yeah, so I'm enrolled in data, which is in the theatre next door, but you go, well, I can't leave. No.

So I'm just going to sit here and do three hours of managerial economics and I'll join data next week. Yeah, I'll just catch up on that lecture online. Yes, that is 100% what I would do. I am not standing in that class, even if there's a fire. Yeah. I'm staying seated. I don't want anybody to have any attention on me.

Now, this didn't happen, but imagine, because you've got your names there and they kind of go, you know, they'll go, oh, I'm doing this list. Tony, did you ever thought on that? Just to give everyone a turn at speaking. And then after a while it kind of becomes clear like, oh, I haven't mentioned your name. Are you on the list? And then after two hours you go, oh, no, I'm in data.

I just didn't want to leave. I didn't want to say anything. And he goes, what the fuck? He kicks me out. I get expelled from the university. Get back in the elevator with your no friends. Yeah. He goes, you'd turn around on a walk, wouldn't you? Hi, this is Emma from Tarrauga, New South Wales,

and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our favourite champion tarpions. Favourite champion tarpions? Champion tarpions. Does that mean those champion tarpions that don't get mentioned now are not our favourite? No, they're all our favourites. It's hard to not pick favourites. I reckon the same like when parents are like,

no, you don't have a favourite. They do. They do. They do. They definitely do. Do you have a favorite between Mabes and Beej? Oh, yeah. Beej is top of the pile at home. Oh, is he?

So I was away yesterday and I said, how's little one doing? And Bridget, like, starts talking about Mabel. And you're like, no, no, no, the other one. What? Who? Yeah. Oh, well, Mabel started talking and you got who? How's BJ?

Mabel's my daughter. BJ's my best friend. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. Hopefully Mabel doesn't want to listen to this anytime soon. No, a massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. I'm scared that they're getting chummy with each other and I don't want them to gang up on me.

You'll get pushed out. Yeah. So I'm trying to keep them real sweet but separate. Yeah, okay. But every time I get home, she's climbing on him. He's loving it. That's so sweet. No, it's not.

Okay, sorry. Every champion, every tarpa, sorry, at our Patreon, your name will be rolling along the bottom. Someone messaged the other day and said, are all the names in every show? No, they don't all fit. It takes like four or five episodes, I think, or longer to wrap around. So if you haven't seen it this week or last week, it's coming, I promise.

If we did more regular video shows, they would come around more often. They would, and wouldn't that be great? Massive shout out to Zia Conlon. Thank you so much, Zia. I'm seeing what you're doing. Stuart Barber, good on you, Stuart. Parker Hilliard, Jasmine Ward, and Kate Aylmore, good on you, Kate. Thank you so much.

Thanks, Kate. You're a fucking legend. And we mentioned this yesterday. We've got a new website, heaps of new merch over there if you want to go and check it out. I like the stickers. I really like the stickers too. Yeah.

I think they look really cool. There's also a notebook that's called From the Desk of Dr. Tony Lodge. Yeah. So you can check that out. But, yeah, there's heaps of stuff there. Tonyandryan.com.au. Go to the merch page. Yeah.

And different hoodies, different shapes and sizes and colours and shit. Yeah, yep. I mentioned before I've got some prop comedy. Yeah, you've got some prop comedy. So I recently got new glasses. Looking good. Looks great. Matches your cool, fun new hair.

Thank you. It's a brand new Tony. Yeah, I'm trying. New month, new you. Looking good. Looks great. Matches your cool, fun new hair. Thank you. It's a brand new Tony. Yeah, I'm trying. New month, new you. Yes. Yes, new month, new me. But so I had to go and get them. It had been, I'd had the other glasses for like two years.

Yeah. Like for fucking ages. And so I really needed to get my eyes tested because I could tell they were starting to like the prescription like wasn't enough anymore. Oh, so like over time your eyes get a little bit worse and you need to turn up the volume on the glasses a little bit. Pretty much, yeah. And it's kind of like depending on how different it is

from the last time, it's kind of like, oh, this is like a very normal amount of change. A lot at once. Yeah. So like sometimes it's like. Are your eyes different? Like a different lens on the left and right? Yes.

Yeah. Because one of them has astigmatism, the other one doesn't. Right. Which affects it and stuff. Anyway, so and every time you go and get your eyes tested, they like do the, have you ever had the like glaucoma test and they puff in your eyes? No.

So it's like a puff of air and you have to keep your eye open and they puff into your eye and it's horrifying. That's a nightmare shit. That's awful. It's like clockwork orange shit. Like a fucking puff in your eye. Fuck, clockwork orange. Or a porno.

Yeah. I guess. Anyway. Got Angela White on the show next week, by the way. Yeah. She's had cum in her eye, let me tell you. Anyway, so I'm like going and I go through all the tests and stuff and they're like, look, you do need a new prescription.

It has changed a bit, but it's changed like not just a little bit. So I'm like I can't see shit that's far away normally. So driving. Driving, using the computer. And I actually am like a 24-7 glasses wearer now. Like I don't, you know how some people are like, oh, I just need them at the computer but not the rest of the time. You're all in.

24-7 glasses. Not, never been in contact, girl. I've just never tried them. Right. Not that I'm anti them. And I can like touch my eye and stuff so it doesn't like freak me out. But just haven't. I don't know. I feel like it frames your and stuff so it doesn't like freak me out but just haven't. The glasses, I don't know, I feel like it frames your face.

You look good in glasses. Some people with wearing like don't suit glasses but you look good in glasses. I hate them. Really? Yeah, I hate them. These new ones I quite like. The concept of them or just it's annoying on your face? Kind of both.

I think I don't look that good in them. You look great. No, don't be silly. I do awful, horrendous things to you wearing glasses. But I think these frames are like really bold and really nice. They're cool. I like them. I think they suit me a lot better than the round ones I had.

Okay. Any glasses. Yeah. Any glasses on that face would be beautiful to me. That's really nice because it blocks some of it. Yeah. I prefer those glasses you have that's, yeah, those big cardboard boxes.

The big ones, yeah. If you don't like them that much, have you not gone, maybe I will try a contact lens or. I just love rubbing my eye. Right. Like I love getting a good deep rub in the eyeball. Well, we found out about you because you make such good stars. Yeah.

So I think that I would forget and then I would fucking go in for the honking rub and then go, fuck, it's flipped into the back of my brain. Yeah, because I believe if you do push them right in, it ends up out the back. Yeah, and then you're sitting out the back. That's how mullets are grown. That's very funny. Anyway, so they go, oh, it's actually not just distance vision now,

like driving and computer and stuff. It's actually like up close, like for reading and like being on your phone. Being an author and stuff like that. Yeah. I'm a really big deal. And so I had to get bifocals. What does that mean? Old people. That's what it means. Yeah, I was going to say that sounds like binoculars. Yeah. It sounds? Old people.

That's what it means. Yeah, I was going to say that sounds like binoculars. Yeah. It sounds like old people. Sounds like something my grandpa would have had. What does that mean? So it's like distance vision at the top, close up at the bottom. What if you look in the middle?

So it's kind of like. You can't say anything. Shut your eyes. When I go from the top to the bottom, I've got to blink through. I can't just look up and down. Have you ever fallen off the ledge? Just on the top of your head. Ew.

And. My focals. Is that why they're so big? Because they need room for both of the focals. That's very funny. No, that's not why. I'm not actually joking. No, but like when, if you have a really thick glasses,

like there's only some glasses you can get if the lens is really thick. I don't have that yet. But anyway, so they're different. Like the top and the bottom is different and they're called like relaxed lenses. And so it's like that it's gradually changes in the middle of the thing. So there's no cliff. There's no cliff, but it's just like, oh, if I'm looking like this, I'm obviously looking down.

So in theory, if you put your phone or a book above you, that wouldn't really work that well. So I could still see it, but it's just not really what it's for. Yeah, like it's supposed to be for like if you're sitting on your phone or like I've been reading heaps. So on my Kindle and you're like eyes naturally. How many up to this year? So I've just finished another two this week.

So I don't know what that number would be. I haven't really been keeping track. Well, you're on three or four, so you'd be fine. Yeah, I mean for 20 of the year you're smashing it. Yeah, I reckon I haven't really been keeping track. Well, you're on the three or four, so you'd be fine. Yeah, I mean, for 20 of the year, you're smashing it. Yeah, I reckon I've got good odds of finishing. But anyway, so they're like, you've got to get bifocals. I was like, okay. And then a week later, they're like, you have to come and pick them up.

They take fucking ages, whatever. I get the text to go and pick them up. I go in there, and they're like, yeah, we need to make sure that they fit on your face, make sure you can see. And they give you this little spiel every time you pick up glasses, and they're like, yeah, we need to like make sure that they fit on your face, like make sure you can see. And they kind of, they give you this little spiel every time you pick up glasses and they go, oh, like how does that feel? They give you the sheet of paper to like see if it feels right and stuff. And they said, look, cause this is your first time wearing relax lenses, like the bifocals.

You actually can feel quite sick because it's like a really different. Like in vertigo kind of like it just kind of. Yeah. And because it's two different things going on, it takes a little bit of time to like get you. Yeah. When you have a sore ear and you fall over. Exactly.

Like that, like seasick almost like it fucks with your tummy. And they're like, so be really careful. And they're like, and when you're walking around for the next like couple of days. Yeah. When you're walking around for the next like couple of days, when you're walking around for the next couple of days, be really careful because like people like fall down curbs and stuff because it like, it fucks with your depth perception a little bit. So you don't know how far away she is. Anyway.

And I also, I got these and I also got some sunglasses, which are just single. So these ones, my glasses have two, but my sunglasses. Oh, there's a prop. Here's my prop. My sunglasses are just single frame. Oh. The single lens. So if you go from one to the other, does that take your brain a while to like compute?

Well, so, but this, the sunglasses though, because it's just one, they're not as dizzy because it's not both things that my eyes are like trying to focus through. So if your eyes need a rest, you might just pop the sunnies on? Well, yeah. You're not going to get clip-ons, are you? Slide them on. Anyway, and so the next day, like Torbs and I had to go

and buy a birthday present for my nephew. Yep. And we're like, happy birthday, Lorzani. He's 10. And we're like walking through the Big W and I'm like, I'm not feeling too flashy. Like I really don't feel well and these glasses are like really fucking with me.

And Torbs was like, oh my God, like do you have your old glasses with you? And I was like, that would have been really smart. That is smart, Torbs. You are a very smart man. I don't know if those. And he goes, why don't you just take them off? So I take my glasses off and I'm walking through the thing and I was like, this is worse because it's like too drastic.

Like, cause I've gone from two lenses to none. And so now I like can't see anything. Before you continue this story, I'd just like everyone to know that I think if you wear sunglasses inside, you're a fuckhead. Please continue. Unrelated. Just in case anybody was wondering. Just a tidbit from me. So I'm walking around.

Big W. There's a celebrity here coming in. Like a fucking lady gaga. So I'm walking around, I've taken my glasses off, and I'm like, this is actually. Better put a dark hat on and some shade. No one talked to me. And so I'm walking around the beach, I'm even with no glasses on.

Should she be at the Oscars this week? I'm like, this is actually worse. And so, and Toobz goes, but you don't have your old glasses. I was like, nah, but I've got the same glasses. I've got the same. I've got the sunglasses on my back. She who stands in the Lego section at the BW. Like the biggest pervert hanging out at a kid's store when she's got no children.

And I'm standing there and I'm like, oh, yeah, I like the look of that Lego technique. I like the look of that Lego technique. And then Tom goes, what about this one? I go, yeah, like that Mars robot. That looks good. Yeah. Do you think people thought you were a celebrity or Torbs is a security guard?

I probably looked more like I was vision impaired. Like, I actually probably did because I'm, like, wearing really dark sunglasses inside and people are probably like, oh, maybe, like, you've got a lot of light sensitivity or something. Yeah. Anyway, so I'm wearing a fucking sunglasses. She is a sensitive girl, but just not to light. Not in that way.

Just sensitive in general. Anyway, so I'm walking around and I've got these glasses on and I swear my demeanour changed. You became the sunglasses. Because all of a sudden I'm like, well, if I'm wearing sunglasses inside, I've got to own that I'm wearing sunglasses inside. I'm like, yeah, Lego technique, yep, okay. And I'm like, anyway, so I'm like, I have to take them off.

Like this is ridiculous. Like I cannot walk around with these sunglasses on. And so I'm just like walking around like an absolute fucking idiot. I've got two glasses in my hands walking around the Big W and I'm towards this like, oh, do you like those? I go, yep. And then he goes, do you like that? I go, yep. And I'm like swapping between glasses like a really important girl. You are a very important girl. For those playing along in the US, Big W kind of like a Walmart. It's like Walmart, like a Target kind of vibe, yeah.

And anyway, it was so embarrassing. Did people come over and be like, oh, my God, I know you're trying to be conspicuous. People were like, Adele? Like people were like, wow, who is it? Are you not at your Vegas residency? Yeah. Pre-weight loss.

But anyway, so there's just like all of this fucking, like we're walking around. I'm holding all this Lego with fucking sunglasses on. It was so embarrassing. And then you get to the counter and they go, that'll be $25. And you go, oh, it said $19.95 on there. Yeah, and I know that because I can see. Anyway, yeah.

So make sure that you get accustomed to your glasses before you walk around. Yeah. My new bif in them. Yeah, no, good tip. My new bifocals. Yeah. I would love in the episode thread, put the sunnies back on again. Does Tony look, A, like a celebrity, B, like a security guard, or C, vision impaired?

I think, I mean, I am technically. And we'll get a screen grab of that as well. I am technically vision impaired, I guess. Because I wear glasses. Yeah. But, yeah, I definitely look like am technically vision impaired, I guess, because I wear glasses. But, yeah, I definitely look like I had, like, light sensitivity, which is fine. And people obviously, like, do that and it's very natural. But because for me it wasn't natural and it was just, I felt very out of place.

Yeah, and you were. Yeah. Yep. I've got a love to see it. Amazing. And I've texted you a link to open that on your phone. What I love to see is a cooked comment section. So first, we're all going to, and if you're not watching,

you're just listening, that's fine. The audio will explain what you're seeing here. But Tony, just watch that video. I heard you haven't been feeling well, so I made you a few things to hopefully help you feel a little bit better. First, I have a homemade chicken noodle soup. It's packed with veggies and a flavorful broth. I know you're gonna like it. A little sprinkle of some chopped parsley to finish the soup off. I have some toasted sourdough garlic

bread, some sliced oranges, some lemon honey ginger tea to soothe your throat it's important for you to stay hydrated a land napkin and a spoon and if you're feeling up to it i got you a little sweet treat of a blueberry danish i'll put that on the side. Now, close that up. I hope this helps. Now, can I just say something? Is that not the first scene of a horror movie? He's about to do that Kathy Bates film.

What's that misery? Hold someone in his home. There's people in his basement 100%. He's trying to do the most wholesome, beautiful video. Can I read some comments? Are any of them better than what I just said? Any guesses how many people in this bloke's basement? Does he know that my suit needs to be soothed because I'll be screaming for help from his basement all night?

I'm so sorry. But, yeah, that's kidnap vibes. I didn't even read the comments. I was just... It's so important to stay hydrated because that will make my skin suit more supple. He's about to harvest the healthiest organs.

I'm honestly just so glad you kidnapped me, to be honest. You're way nicer than my ex-boyfriend and your basement is better than his apartment. Oh, wow. I feel really bad because he's obviously trying to, yeah, just make wholesome content. Be really nice.

A bit of ASMR, you know, because the clattering of the dishes and stuff. And he goes, everyone's going to see this and go, oh, aren't I just the nicest boyfriend ever? Yeah. Someone commented saying, I'm honestly just so glad you kidnapped me, to be honest. You're like, oh, you know, it's a wholesome, healthy meal. I'm just glad that I'm here.

If only I read that comment about 10 seconds ago. Yeah. Sorry. But thanks for repeating it just to emphasise. Well, I liked it. Yeah. I couldn't see. I couldn't see.

Oh, you said that. Yeah. She's got those pairs of sunglasses. She knows what's going on. It's now trifocals. That's funny. Sorry about that. I'm really sorry because you've done that to me before and I hated it so much.

I'm really sorry. And my other you love to see it is dads with boats. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. I just saw another comment on here. I'm honestly just so glad you kidnapped me. I'm so sorry, I just saw another comment on here. I'm honestly just so glad you kidnapped me. I'm so sorry. That video, though, how did you find that?

You need to get out of whatever part of the internet you're in, babe. That's for sure. Bridget sent it. And this is what I love from Bridget. When she sends a video and all she writes is, the comments. And you just go, oh, settle in, sweetheart. Oh, that's amazing. My love to see it is from Stephanie Smith.

She sent this in Patreon and said, hey, Tony and Ryan. Stephanie Claire Smith? Yes. My boyfriend started the fucking blog. Fuck yeah. Get him a mug. Exactly right. TonyandRyan.com.au.

Shameless plug of our own merch. My boyfriend started a Twitch account to stream horror games. And he's actually doing really well. He started back in December and he's got now over 700 followers. Fuck yeah. And the purpose of him creating his Twitch account was to make enough money for us to get married and have kids and be able to raise the kids really well. She's like, really want to give them a great life and maybe mean so I only have

to work a few days a week and I can be, you know, all of that. And it was in the horror genre. Yeah. So as he's just slaying people to death with knives and just tearing open their insides. For their family. He's like, I love my family so much. He's actually the guy who made that video, the sleep video. Steph says, this man works so hard.

He works a full time job 40 hours a week and then streams 40 hours a week as well. So he gets home from work and then, like, streams at night to try and, like, make extra money. He's really dedicated and he's an amazing man and my soulmate. And Steph said his Twitch account name is Faded Gaming. F-A-D-E-D-G-A-M-1-N-G. Okay. Thanks for clarifying. Yeah, well, because otherwise you'd be following someone who's not supporting Stephanie and

their kids. Love you guys. Keep being great. We love you too, Steph. And that's awesome. You love to see that. I love to see that. That's probably a bit of a dream for the boyfriend.

He's like, oh my God, I'd love to do this full time, you know? Yeah, that'd be sick. But yeah, thanks for sharing that. Thanks for sharing, Stephanie. Congratulations. Appreciate it. We'll chat to you guys on Monday. Have a glorious weekend and hopefully it's not as awful as...

Wearing sunglasses in the Big W. Have a good one. Love you. Bye.