Toni and Ryan - Ryan's Trip To The Barber....

Episode Date: October 14, 2026

Barber small talk - Normal or Nah - Golden Gaytime eating - love ya!!!!!To everyone who thought I couldn't do it, eat your words like I ate that gaytimeDon't Forget To Join Patreon As a Champion TARPer By Nov 1 to Get The Calendar!! patreon.com/ToniandRyanTell us what you reckon in the episode thread in our FACEBOOK GROUPWatch and subscribe on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan and get in the group chat with us!!!Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I got a haircut the other day from the barber. He goes, do you want to do this or do that? And I go, this is what they love. Hey, how long are you been cut in here? And he goes, oh, 40 years? And I went, bro, you're the expert. Hi, I'm Michaela from Concord, New Hampshire and the US. Hi, I'm Claire from Knowe in the UK.

Hi, I'm Brianna from Adelaide, South Australia. I'm through this podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Orth, Tony Lodge. Happy Thursday. Happy Thursday. No more nah in a second.

Thanks to everyone who sent those through. But I went to, I got a haircut the other day from the barber. Congratulations. And thank you very much. And the barber was an old guy. And he was working by himself. And he seemed a bit like. Is it a place you can only go?

Nah. Just walked into it. It was empty and was like, oh, okay. Crazy. So walked in there. And he was a bit like scattered and a bit disgruntled and disheveled. And hey man, everything are right. And he goes, oh, yeah, yeah, all good.

Grab a seat, grab a seat. Yeah, all good, all good. And I was like, oh, okay. And he goes, yeah, that the young bloke who usually works with me, he's called in six. So it's just been myself all day. And, you know, you can't really take a break and shut up shop. And you're running the register and keeping the line and doing the hand. He goes, so I sit down and I go, oh, you're all good now.

He goes, yeah, yeah, it's all good. And he goes, these young kids, you know, your generation, so it kind of loops me into it. He goes, calling in sick, you know? Like, you know, probably one of those old boys that like, never called in sick a day once in his life. And his dad probably never did for 50,000 years. Yeah. And I just go, oh, yeah.

Yeah. Hate that. Hey that. And then he goes, oh, you can't just have to agree. Yeah. Like, what are you going to be like, we'll actually, like, protect your own health. Protect your own health. Don't make the other people sick.

You're a barbie. You're going to make 30 sick that come through here. Like it's actually. Like, your mental health that, like, you feel. seek to have the day off like it's fine. So I just went, and he goes, and you know the other thing about your generation?

I'm really copping. I just came in for a haircut, not a fucking... Yeah, I know, right? And he goes, when the people come in and they sit in the chair, they don't want to talk to you anymore. They just want to sit there in silence

and have their haircut. Now, that is... Probably put you in a bit of a pickle. Yeah, because that is exactly what I do. Because I believe, that most people, they just want to do their job. I just want to sit there. I don't want to annoy you.

You don't have to talk to me, you know. Same as in an Uber or a cafe. I'm like, I just want to slip in, let you do your thing, get out, don't want to make a fuss. And so I have got a decision to make here. Am I doing my thing and just putting my head down? At the end of the day, I was a bit tired. And I was like, just need to get tightened up here. I'm in show biz.

Oh, yeah, mate. We've got to get tightened up. Yeah. Show goes on. What is it? The show must go on. Yes. As you've all heard before.

So I was like, am I going to do what I normally do? Yeah. Or considering this guy's had a bit of a day. Yeah? You meet him where he's at. Am I going to really turn one on? Did you? And can I just tell you, not only was I chatty, I gave him the fucking Ryan John show.

That's so nice. I was talking potholes. I was talking. I was talking weather. I was talking petrol prices. I was giving him everything I had. And I was giving him this. And I said, yeah, you know what else?

Our generation doesn't do. They don't say hello in the street when you walk past. They don't. Yeah. Oh. I'm the barber. I actually was like, geez, fuck Tony,

would have just destroyed here. But I was like, what I was actually just thinking my head. I'm like, oh, I would have been to him like, do you want a coffee? Have you not had lunch yet today? Do you want me to go get your bagel?

Yeah. No, I didn't go that far. But I, The chat, that's really nice. I turned one on and I let him have every local opinion I've ever had. You were like a walking Facebook group. That's exactly what I was. Yeah.

He probably went home and told his family like, oh, the loveliest young bloke. Yeah. And he should off because I really gave it to him. Yeah. And then he goes, oh, do you want to do this or do that? And I go, this is what they love. Hey, how long have you been cutting hair?

And he goes, oh, 40 years? And I went, bro. you're the expert. What do you reckon? And he goes, I reckon go short a fade on the side. And look what I'm rolling. It's excellent. It really is.

I said that you the other day when I first saw it. Yeah. And then at the end he goes, do you want me? And I sent a, oh, should we put that photo on the screen? Yes. So he goes, do you want it slick to the side? And I looked like a 1920s bootlegger. Oh.

We'll pop it on the screen. You're doing a very serious smise as well to make their hair. that look like the suit the yeah i think you look like an old cool greaser i don't hate it but it doesn't look like you no yeah no it's not for me then when you used to have that big hair isn't that crazy i even i see old videos of our show and i go jesus christ what were you doing fucking how um remember when i shaved your head yes and that was the beginning of like you wearing like shorter hair yes it never grew back that's how good i am at cutting hair Do you know the other thing that went through my mind in the beginning of that story that you just shared about the barber that he's gone, oh, you know, the other guy has called in sick.

Like, I haven't had a break. I would have just been like, I could take a few off you. If you want me to cut the next guy, you go out of the back, have a fucking sickie and whatever and I'll take care of it. Yeah, I know a number. 0408 it starts with. And you can call Tony Lodge. Not only we'll share of a crack and cut in hair. You can chinwag with this bitch all day.

I know. I would love it. I will say though, I have had a bit of a tired turn in my mind about like sometimes at an appointment. Like, you just have had the, like, it's at the end of the day or you fuck it. And you just kind of go like, I don't really want to talk about what I'm watching on Netflix. Can I say something? Please. Because you know how the other day that you said that you can pay for parking when you leave?

Yeah. You don't have to go to the pay station? Yeah. Tip. and then hearing you say that and hearing what I did at the barbara what the fuck is happening to us man freaky Friday what the fuck is going on what the fuck is happening I'm Jamie Lee Curtis I am the other one Lindsay Lohan really congratulations fuck yeah that is a role I would love to hey it doesn't even matter

I can give the worst performance of a lifetime I'll get another one yeah they keep hiring because you're Lindsay Lohan yeah yeah you could play twins in a movie parent trap amazing yeah and did you know that after that the Disney executive went over her at the rap party and was like, oh, where's your twin? You're joking. The head of Disney came over to her and was like, oh, where's your twin sister? And she's like, you know that they're both. And she got this incredible line as well.

We should see if we can find the video, but I'm going to just do it with my mouth right now. And she goes, well, if you thought I was so good, you thought I was two people, why aren't you paying me double as like a fucking 12 year old girl? And the old man was like, ha ha ha, walked away. Probably did cocaine off a stripper somewhere. Well, yeah. You know, Hollywood. Hollywood, I'm all right?

Hollywood. Well, instead of making a joke, She should have been like, oh, she's around here somewhere. By the way, she wanted to know where to send her invoice. Yeah, she didn't get paid. And then she goes, hello, where's my money? Do the accent. Yeah.

That's good stuff. What is happening to us, though? Normal or nah. Oh, normal or not? Nah. Nah. I like it. I think we're both just trying it on size.

And it fits. Do you think that? Really? Do you, baby, I don't think. I know. Do you reckon that? That. hairdresses or barbers or

eyebrow people doing your nails, getting your backwax, whatever, like, whatever. Do you think that they want a break too? Like, because are they just asking the same questions to their 20 clients the whole day? I think it would depend on the individual. I think we've all done shifts where you're like, if everyone comes in and chatting,

it just helps the day go faster. And I think also if it's a client you've said, or if you've gone, because like I go to Brickle to get my hair, I haven't fucking been for ages, but like whenever I get my hair done, by someone. I go to her. But like, because we know each, whenever, it's never sitting there and being like,

so what are you watching on Netflix? Yeah, you've broken the eyes. Well, we know each other and I'm like, oh, how's your mom's eye? You know? Her mom has to get eye injection sometimes. And I always ask about it. How's your mom's eye sounds? How's your mom's third eye?

Kind of like that. Sorry, Kim. I wouldn't ever say that about your vagina. Which you did just then. Yeah. Remember that time when you thought I was going to cut your hair after you shaved my head? Oh my God. And I had not slept for many days.

That was very stressful. Yeah. But anyway, you know, I wonder if it's dear. I would love to hear from some professionals in the field. What would you prefer? I tell you the best professional feedback we ever got was when Missouca's message through and said they love it when you moan. And how frame was that?

Yeah. Because you just want to let out a... I'm going to get a massage today. I thought about it when I was driving in today. I was like, you know what? I might go get a fucking rub down. I might go to the food court at Northland. get 15 on the dogs.

Why did that sound? So crazy. Like I'm the gambling. Oh my God. The Norland food going to get 15 on the dogs. It sounds like you're going to put $15 on the tab. A dog race. Yeah.

Or that you were just going to go to the food court and buy 15 hot dogs. Can I get 15 hot dogs? Yeah. No bun. No bun. I'm in a cutting face right now. Just. I'm talking.

My first ultra marathon. I just, just no button. I once won Franker it's in the bag. The hot dog bags. Loose. Shaking around, man. Squirt some sauce down the middle. And then I'll just,

yeah. No, 15 of the dogs stuff, I'll, right? Just to confirm and translate, that is 15 minutes on the feet. On the hoofs, yeah. Which is, is the feet. Like, get one of those ones up and down. And they're good.

They're pros and then. they'll get your palms up. Yeah, that's just giving me a little. Palms on your feet still called palms? Souls. They'll get your soul. I love that all of us shut down. We're like, people.

What is it? If you only had 15, is that where you'd, what you'd go? Your dogs. Maybe neck and shoulder. I feel like mine at the moment's my, like my lower back. A lower back. No, you'd want to get 25 on the table there. Yeah.

And they'll throw an elbow in. Oh. Yeah. Because I'm just like. so true yeah this is normal oh no

yeah I've got to go because I got 15 on the dogs coming up so I actually do bed head off I had I had leftover chicken from lunch and had a therapy

appointment on the way home this is from Tarpa Jule by the way Hi Tapa Jule normal or not asking your therapist if you can put your chicken in their fridge during the session

normal I think that's okay. What are you going to do? You fucking get a, you know, your chooky's gone off. Well, they said I wasn't losing that sauce. I thought it was chicken. Well, it's got the sauce on it.

Oh. I don't know you look so offended. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Okay. Well, say again, you've got the chicken from lunch. Yeah, which has obviously got a sauce on it I'm now hearing.

And she's like, well, I don't, and maybe the sauce is like cheesy or creamy or something, like something you don't want to just leave in the car. Yeah. So she gets to the therapy session and goes, can I put it in the fridge? Why are you laughing? Why have you lost it?

Are you thinking about my dogs again? I actually was, but the sauce just was a bit of a fucking fine in the ointment for me because I mentioned chickens. Of all the things that's happened, that's thrown you. Well, the chicken was mentioned in the beginning

and then all of a sudden we're worried about sauce. Yeah. Like, I can't take it all on. We can take sauce on. We can take sauce on. some chicken. Oh yeah. And you would.

Should we? Maybe it was half a parmesan. So she goes with the sauce is part of the meal. So true. You know? Speak to it. I'm just going to say that's fine. Normal.

Let's move on to the next one. I think that's normal. And if somebody said to me like, oh, could I, do you mind if I pop this in the fridge? I'd be like, fuck no. Fuck no. I don't mind. I was like, whoa. Last time I was trying to put something in your fridge.

Fuck no. Fucking put a can in my fridge. No, put a ghost in my attic. Like, do you know what I always think is really sweet? Like my sister does this sometimes. She's like, oh, I've just been at the shop. Like I might pop in, do you mind if I like pop the milk that I bought in your fridge? I'm like, of course.

So you pop it in the fridge, then grab it as you guys. I think that's so sweet. You do it at Tony's house. How big's her fridge? It's a nice one. She's got a third drawer in the middle of the drinks. It's really nice. I've got some coke no sugars in there.

You do? Some ice creams in the freezer. I've got Diet Coke, Coke Zero, Real Coke and Bobby Cola. All of them. Guess what I did yesterday. And some. vegan ice creams, yeah, in the freezer for Charles. Yesterday, I had a vanilla Coke.

That's not for me, but now that I like the coconut cream in the diet, you know how I was mentioning that? It's a gateway cola. Maybe now I've got to, just, they need to fucking stop fucking around and bring Diet Coke back to Maccas. That's all I'll say. They've got to fucking get it together. Anyway.

You're here first. Well, they've got to. They have got to. Tapa Alina. Hi, Alina. when you get food Come on, Eileener. When you get food stuck in your teeth

but you don't have floss so you use an earring to pick it out, did she not have a credit card? That's a fucking nah. That's got to be enough. I use a card. I don't think that that's small enough. So I...

Does it. Depends how big the gap in your teeth is. True. Yeah, I mean, mine are all quite close together. Invisaline, beautiful. Thank you. Stunning smile. Yeah, I haven't won my retainers in like seven months.

Retainer, hardly know what. Nothing could retain these bad boys. I think that's so fucking disgusting, putting an earring in your mouth. That's like, and I'm disgusting. Like, I've flossed with a bit of hair before to get something out of my teeth. Where was the hair from? I needed a really long one, so I use my pubs. It's also a bit thicker.

We get a bit more purchase. Yeah. Well, you'll be. you can really hook in. But I don't wear earrings, so it's never been available to me. Maybe I would do that. You don't have ears pierced. I have them pierced, but because I used to have my ears stretched,

that's right. I don't really like the look of earrings in my ears. I feel like it just doesn't suit me. I don't think. But because when I used to have fleshies, they looked really cool. How big were your flesh and? 12 mil. I had.

Yeah, so what's that? Did we wish you could go back? I think I, yeah, I reckon I would still have them stretched. I was about to say, you look like a fleshy girl and that just sounds really fucking gross. No, I really like that. Yeah. I loved having stretched years. I think it's so sick.

Well, it's a part of the, I'm surprised you don't, didn't work a J.B. Hi-Fi aura that you have. Thank you for saying that. Yeah, I wish I still had stretched. Maybe I'll just stretch them up again. It's fucking, it hurts. Yeah, I bet. It takes ages as well.

How long would it take me to flesh out to a twilight? 12 mil. Probably if you did it right, because you're supposed to do like a meal at a time and then fully let it heal and then go another meal, like over a year. Really? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, I was like, because you can do like.

You can't knock it out the salvo. No, like you can do like a meal a month, maybe every six weeks. Again, if you do it properly and then if you have a blowout, which is where like they fucking, it's fucking disgusting. But you have a blowout, you've got to go back down and let that heal before you can. Oh, that just sounds. Because some people like when they do it, you do it too fast, they blow out and then they're never healed on the inside.

So like my ears never got stinky. Right. Because they were all like they were always healed before I went up again. Yep. And then like on the inside they're healed. Whereas some people, it's like an open wound, which is like really dangerous. Like for infections stuff. But yeah.

So it takes long time. I would do it again, though. Speak to it. Maybe I should. That feels fun. That feels real fun. I don't even know if I've got all the... Oh, yeah.

You can't single stretch. No, I think I look fucking foul. Yeah, okay. Anyway. Back to work. Tap a gnat. Oh, Nat. During summer, I'll happily fork out $1,600 bucks on a power bill to keep the aircon blasting.

1,000%. But come winter, I wouldn't dream of touching the head. I put a jumper on. Yeah. I will not pay for heat. Don't know why. It's just the rule. I totally agree.

Normal or nah. Nah, normal. I fully fucking relate to that. That is very us. You can always put a jumper on. And I remember when I was hard, like, take my skin off. Normal.

Normal. 1,000%. Normal. Hi. I'm Michaela from Concord, New Hampshire in the US. Hi. I'm Brianna from Adelaide, South Australia. Hi, I'm Claire from Norwich in the UK and you are listening to Tony and Ryan.

A massive shout-out to a few of our champion type was over at our Patreon. Make sure you check it out so you can get yourself on a calendar. Sydney Truman, good on your Sydney. Savannah La Maison. Hello. Okay, porn star name. Savannah La Maison. Leanna McCaffa.

What do you reckon they do for a living? Savannah La Mason. They're either a jury. designer or a model and probably both in this era. Do you know where my mind went? lingerie model. La Mésons just sounds sexy. Like,

Boudoir photography. Maybe she's the daughter of the family that makes like a certain kind of Prosecco or like a fancy dress. And, you know, like the air to the famous. La Misson. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, that kind of energy. But why am I getting Florida? Savannah. That's. The Savannah, Africa. Oh, I was going to say Savannah's in North Carolina. But it's like the, it's like an Everglades territory, isn't it?

On the Savannah. I have no idea, actually. Me neither. I think I'm going to move to Savannah though. Okay, we don't know anything about it. Tell me your top three things and why you would move to Savannah. Top three. The top three, you're close to the water and it's a nice community.

We don't know that because we were just talking about it. But the house prices are significantly lower. But we don't know. We just said we don't know anything. about it. There's the old French quarter, which looks fun. Are you making these half? No? Am I going death? Maybe. Well, I won't be able to hear from Savannah. That's one thing I know for sure. Don't test me. The French quarter, the property prices and... Is it on the sea? Yeah. Or just on the water. Close-ish to the ocean, yeah. Type in Savannah. Oh, and it's the home of the Savannah bananas.

That's a good one. So there's Savannah, Georgia. That's what I'm talking about. Yeah. What I say? Carolina. I said Florida. But we were close. Oh, next is Florida.

Yeah, we're in the same. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. South. Show us on the map, Charles. Oh, I can show you on the globe. Oh, no. Zoom out. You're right there on the coast?

Oh, yeah, you're on the sea. Charleston. Oh, Jacksonville. Yeah. Charleston was the other one I was looking at. I'm either going to live in Charleston or Savannah. Okay. Savannah.

It's a real freak. Charleston a bit more opportunity for a job. Savannah a bit more opportunity for not work. Charles. Look at that. Holy fuck. That is stunting. Can we go to Georgia, Charles?

Yeah. See, that hasn't been on, we haven't got near there on our travels. No, we're missing out. Finger Florida. Finga Georgia. No, but that realm, we could tick another Disney off our list, Charles. My first thoughts. Orlando.

That's the one where the Tapa heard two Tarpers clapping each other. Gastion. Just get... Clap in each other. That was the taffus... Clap in each other. You've been on TikTok. No, that's the...

You've been on TikTok. Because the tarpa said, I saw Gastion clap and Pluto. Okay, it's not Gaston. It's just Gaston. Oh, he didn't say where it went. Gaston, my tears. Put me cock in his ass and I got Gaston. Yeah, he'd had beans.

I'm really sorry about that. I've only just recently gotten into baked beans. Like, I've never like... liked them my whole life and I'm, I'm a fan. Am I a Nicky fan? Love Pink. Mamu loves baked beans. I love them.

When we want to have a meal that's a bit too spicy for her, they'll go, oh, we'll just get maybe we won't like that. We'll just give us some baked beans. They fuck. They fuck so hard. Avocado, toast. They fuck so hard. I love them.

Throw an egg in one. An egg and a baked bean. Yeah. Yeah. What are you talking about? Yeah. What are you talking about? Treat yourself.

Treat yourself. On the baked beans. In the baked beans. Like stir it through. Well, you cook it and then pop it to pop it in the bowl. So on top, like what I said, but you said no. Oh, but it doesn't sit on top necessarily, but you kind of like, you know. Because if you had like your toast and your eggs and then your bake beans are on the plate, that's normal.

Like if you had a full English. Like that. Like that's what I mean. I think I'm Shaq Shookin. You're talking about Shack Shooker. I think I'm talking about Shack Shookin. So you crack it into the top of the things. Oh, you mean?

Yeah, that is good. Yeah. I don't know if I would do that with baked beans though because I don't heat them up on the stove. I just hit them up in microwave. And that's okay. I won't tell anyone. And that's okay. I won't tell anyone. Savannah was a tapper. That's where we got to this. Yeah.

Leanna MacArthur. Good on the Leanna. Megan Morris. Megan Morris. Megan Morris. Morgan. Samuel Antonio Angel Bert. How can three beautiful names end with a bird? Four. Oh yeah. Samuel Antonio, Angel, Bert. boot because I'm thinking of this beautiful

something European and then I think of Burt Crasher at the end and I go Oh let us rejoice for we are burnt

spicy What does Girt mean and can it fuck off? Don't know and yeah Yeah Yogurt

I'm back on yogurt I'm proud of you I was off it Do you know what I made on the weekend actually this delicious Was it? No

No, I didn't make yoga. What's going on with your microphone? I don't know. Charles, this happens every week. Sorry. Mama's angry. She hasn't had her yoga. Mommy's been drinking for a Thursday episode.

Weekends coming up nice and close. Letting it go. Letting it go. Sorry, Charles, it's working now. I made these deliciouso, grated some zucchini, and then... It sure wasn't cucumber.

Corn and corn and... peas and like mixed all up made some little fritters. Fuck yeah. They are so fucking good. And then for dinner, I had like two fritters, two eggs and then some like pickled onions, some yogurt. It was so fucking good. A zucchini fritter.

Fuck me right up. Yeah. Do you say you had corn in it as well? Yeah, corner piece. Yeah. Yeah. Fucked. Yeah.

So good. The only, yours would be better. But. No, not true. Zendan does like a few fritters. I love a fritter out of caffeine. say. Sheree Miller.

Good on you, you shrie. Fuck, we're still doing this. Kaye love 98. Caddy. Alex Hill and Haley Davor.

Good on you. Fucking out. Is Haley still with her? No, Haley divorced. Yeah. Oh, nice. Yeah.

Did you eat that? No, devoured it. Devout it? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Did you get to three?

No, I got to four. All right. So the other day, You mentioned that you reckon you could eat golden gay time pretty quick. We've actually just listened to audio and it's not that impressive at all. Charles, could you hit the play on that place? Yeah, but like enough time to eat a chock top? Yeah.

I reckon I could make it gay time disappear in three minutes. Yeah. I think so. Yeah. What a wild claim. I reckon I could eat something in a normal amount of time. Yeah, like how long does it normally take you? No empty offers.

Better prove it. Yeah. So we did actually get some gay time so that you could test. it but I just think that you've got to do it in a more impressive amount of time. Well, I'll set a time and then every Thursday for the next rest of the next five years this pot I'll try and beat that time. Okay. And we've got a timer on the clock?

We've got a clock on the timer. So what are you doing? Like, what do we consider it? Are you just going to eat while I keep talking or is it like, Ryan, Ryan, Ryan, you know? I don't know. I don't know. I just want to eat the golden gay time. I don't really care about anything.

But you're not going to enjoy it because we're like, we're wanting you to eat in like three chumps or less kind of energy. Well, this just has to be a baseline gay time. And then next week I'll have something to try and beat. So you want us to just like watch you comfortably eat at gay time? That looks nice. Hey, I just say stuff.

And then Charles turns up with a gay time and now it's my problem. And it's part of the thing. And he goes and I said, how long did you say you could eat it in? Three minutes. Way to set yourself up for a week. I reckon I could do that. Yeah, I reckon you could. I reckon I could walk 100 metres in three hours.

hours. Yeah, probably. Let's see it. Charles, you hit the timer. Tony, if you've got it, you love to see it. Or did you want to, have you got that other story you want to tell? No, because then we talked about the fritters and I just think, fuck, there's no coming back from that.

Let's talk about other towns in the Carolinas and Georgia. All right. Three, two, one. I mean, I'd love to go to Maine because I would love to eat a lobster roll. You know, Casey Nistak, because he grew up in New London in Connecticut, which I didn't know was that close to New York. So, sure. But it is.

And they just get on the train. Sometimes they drive depending because they've got the kids and whatever. But then they go up there and they go to Captain Scott's lobster dock and I really want to go there. They've really cold my face. Well, you've got 30 seconds in so far. Maybe three minutes is tough. You're beating the three minute allegations though because you're going very well. But yeah, I want to go there.

It's not that far from New York. And we can catch the train. Catch the train. and they do it all the time. If we tour in America, should we fly or should we, like, road trip it? I think fly. I think it depends, like, if we're going, like, each state,

but I don't know if we'll do 50 states. No, I don't think so. But, like... Like, we could do Savannah, Orlando. Yeah, that you could do in the car. Because, you know, when we went to America for the meet and greet tour? Yeah. And we flew most of it, but then we drove from Atlanta up to Chicago.

and we did a few shows on the way. That was real. Oh, sorry, did a few meetups on the way. What's on the lineup? Just saying hi. We're just saying hello to every person. I saw a squirrel. But, um, okay, stop the timer.

Oh, no, he's still in his mouth. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and there's still some left on the stair. And that was actually good because you could kind of relax between things, whereas flying would have slowed us down. Stop. A minute 30.

A minute 31 96. And that was like a casual. That wasn't... Take that back. No, no, no, like it was good, but you didn't like shove it up your ass and fucking... I watched this video the other day of a professional eater right, and she ate a burrito in like 17 seconds.

Johnny Chestnut? No, it was a chick. Jenny hot dog chestnut? What was she doing? She ate a burrito in like 17 seconds. She was like a professional like speed eater or whatever. This massive fucking burrito and it was like going into her body. She wasn't...

Like, it was crazy. She's like falling down her esophagus. Like, but how is that even possible? Was it a hard shell or a soft shell? It was a burrito. Look at this. She's just like chomping at it. But where's it going in her mouth?

She set a Guinness World Record for it. Her name's Leah. She really fucking going for it, hey? And it's not going everywhere. It's not going everywhere. And she's not really chewing, but she seems to be able to swallow it. Like, it's just disappearing into her mouth. Like how is that possible?

Tony, Charles, I'm going to need you both to leave. Leave the video running, Charles. You know how during the week you were like, I found out Torbs you just have a Nokia fucking whatever. Seeing that girl make a burrito disappear. Yeah. Fastest time to eat a burrito. She clearly doesn't have a gag reflex.

Not that you need to worry about that. She got 42 records. What do you mean? Well. small. That does. I've got to you love to see it here. You want to hear her.

Yeah, you go. Jamie Mayer, she sent this through on Patreon. You too, sorry, I just, the small dick jug. That's like out of out of bounds. Do you know what I mean? We don't do that. We don't do that. Oh, I do that.

You can. It's my small dick. It's your penis, yeah. Jamie says you just. Sorry, I also just ate a lot of ice cream fast. Yeah. How's your tummy feeling? No, my tummy's on, my teeth are cold.

Oh, do you need a hot tea? I need a censor dine. Thanks for sponsoring this episode, censor dine. Censorine. Maybe we'll get censor dine on, and then every week I eat a gay time. And you get less and less sensitive every time because the dental is working. And then every time you talk about the size of my cock. Because if I know anything...

Size of my cock. about the brand managers at Senserdine is they love that. They love Cup. Yeah. And don't we all? Yieldy. Jamie Mayer, she sent this through. She says, you two inspire me to just go for it.

I've been passionate about baking for years, but I finally opened an in-home bakery. Fuck yeah. And she said she opened. She had so many orders in her first week. So she's working at her job at an aerospace company. Chill. Oh, okay. From seven to three.

And then baking from three to nine. Well, if she knows anything about baking, she's got that around the wrong way. Yes. We know that bakers get up early. Maybe it's 3 to 9 a.m. So true. You know, you're 9 to 5 before you 5 to 9 or whatever the fuck. Yep.

It's called No Crumbs. I think it's in Indianapolis, maybe. Oh, we drove there in the car when we drove in the car. We did. I've got the Facebook page here. Charles can pop it in their show notes, whatever. Did you know? Is I, Indiana?

Indianapolis. Or Iowa. Oh. Oh, I don't know. I.A. Iowa, you were right. Yeah, good on you. It's in Iowa.

The last person that went from aerospace engineering into baking was Loon. That is an incredible fact. And thank you for showing that with us. Thank you. She was a F1 mechanic. F1 mechanic. Engineer. And then opened a bakery and croissants in a Melbourne.

Head of a race team. Yeah, crazy. My love to see it is also. related. Oh, get that bread, girl. Charles, can you pop it up on the screen?

Oh, Charles, you got something you prepared earlier. Uh, hello, Fakasha. Emily B. Fakhiaa Chia.

Emily B said, I made my first fuck a chia from scratch tonight. Fuck yeah, Kachia. Rosemary and Csalt. Oh.

And it was so good. It looks fucking young. I also have my family pronouncing it the correct tarp way, which is Fuck a chia. Thank you very much.

I'm so proud of myself. You love to fucking see it, says Emily B. Making bread, there is just something about it. Is there something about rosemary and sea salt? Absolutely. Or am I still just horny from the other thing? Maybe that, but I am. Look at that crumbling.

You can tell you could just scrub that bread and it'll just bounce back. I feel like I can smell it through the screen. Or is that just Charles. Charles is yeasty. On the weekend, like so like a week ago, but we made Philly Chisholet. cheese steaks for dinner. So what you and Bridget were texting about? Yeah, because I made the, like I made the rolls, the Hogi rolls.

Like I made the bread in the, um, in the thermomix and it was so fucking good. You came up in conversation at home and Bridget goes, she's making bread and I went, okay. That's so funny. But even the next day, you are like, oh, can you, um, remind Bridge about this thing? And I was like, well, we were just talking actually. So I'll ask her. They get very defensive and possessive of each other. Oh, well, we would, yeah, we were just talking about something else.

We were friends first. You guys just work together. We were friends first. Yeah, that is true. How was the Philly Cheastakes, though? They fucked. Yeah. And Tobs did them outside on the barbecue, like made all the meat on the bike because we...

Wasn't an outdoor kitchen, was it? The big indoor outdoor? Was it an outdoor kitchen? Would you do? Because, like, we've got the big flat plate on the barbecue. Like, one side is grill on one side is flat plate. You've got so much more room. So true.

Like inside in the frying pan, it's so small. Yes, it was really good. Yeah. I went to the Preston Market and bought like provolone from the like Italian, one of the Italian delis. I reckon that one of those delis at Preston Market, they test you. What do you mean? Because once Bridge went in and said, I'll get the Theresa. And the old Italian, Nona goes, did you want the Australian, Teresa?

The Italian or the Spanish? Yeah. And Bridge goes Italian and they kind of went, okay. You can have. Oh, you're on here. And then it was like, oh, and by the way, we've got some other stuff. here. And I think that's just like a tech

because if it's like, oh yeah, I'm getting any strain and they go fucking yeah, okay, take it and fuck off. But Bridge was like

she changed demeanors immediately. And they go, oh, you're okay with us. You're on a bus. I like that. Yeah.

Okay, that's good note. Good note. Save the Press of Market, by the way. I pay you up for fucking. Oh, yeah.

You got to follow the Instagram and everything. I think I buy a t-shirt. I feel like they were going under a few years ago and then they made a miraculous safe. It got extended for three years. Oh,

And then, yeah, that's kind of coming up. And yeah, we should, do you want to buy a t-shirt? Support safe press market. Oh, do I know if Tony and Rhine will ever buy merch or something? Yeah. Oh, they fucking saw us coming. Yeah, the t-shirts are $100,000. I think they're 35.

25. Aren't they so nice? They are cool. Chuck is down for two, Charles. Yeah, we'll get two of those, Charles. Do you want one, Charles? Pop three on. I'll get an X L.

Add it to cart now. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, yeah, I'll go on Excel too, I guess. Yeah. Oh, oh, Charles, it looks like you've never bought anything online, which I know is emphatically untrue. Yeah, I've said in statements. There we go.

Charles, you haven't had yours. Oh, I see. Oh, that's annoying. Okay. All right, so safe press the markets. Love to say it. Good job on the gay time. Never seen that mouth down something so quick.

That's not true. Your mouth. I can go another one. You go another gay time. Or we're getting some food. We can get food. Maybe some chicken with some sauce. That wasn't mentioned earlier.

Oh, you wouldn't have sauce on chicken, would you? You wouldn't do that one. That'll throw a fucking careful. That's crazy. Do you know the other day, we ordered dinner, right? You're joking. Which we actually have not been doing very much. And you know when you do something,

you go back to your fucking old way. and you go, oh my God, what are we doing? Yeah. Guess how much a dipping sauce was on the side? Don't. Don't. This was on Uber-Aid, so obviously it's inflated, whatever. Criminal.

If you tell me, hey, and how big? Just like the, like a dip-y, like the little dipping sauce, like that you would get, like, a tart-tare sauce. They wouldn't charge more than three bucks for that. $5 for a dipping sauce. Fuck off.

$5 for a spicy mayo dipping sauce. spicy mayo dipping sauce. Yeah. Fuck them. $5. Paid it, obviously. He goes, oh, do you own dipping sauce? I was like, oh, I've got some stuff at home.

He's like, oh, they got that spicy one. I was like, oh, that is yum. And then when the bag came, it was on the receipt. I hope you got a bag with it. I was like. I was like, you did not add that for $5. And he goes, I did. It was like $90 for like two burgers and a,

and a cheese. Yeah. How many people can? came around as well. So it was two burgers, a chips, and that fucking dipping sauce. Was $90. $90. Did it come with a Porsche?

Oh my God, I wish it did. Did it come with a handjob from the driver? No, it was so expensive. And I was like, fuck, it's why we don't do this, you know? And then it comes and it's like, being in the car, you know? I'd rather just fucking cook something. Like, I genuinely, back in the day, no, not the case. But now I'm like, I'd rather cook.

Cook. Talk about it. Say it. Yeah. Talking about saving costs. Talk about saving costs. Talking about with these Preston shirts, there's an option to pick up if you're wanting to pick them up instead of shipping.

Save 10 bucks. No, because they get the money, Charles. No, the shipping does. Oh, you want to donate 10 bucks to Australia Post? Where do you pick them up? Oh, you've got to organize them. Oh, well, don't docks their number. And Central Preston.

Oh. Yeah, yeah, we can do that. I'll do it. Oh, Ryan's just said, Ryan's just said he'll do it. Great. Yeah, Ryan. Charles just do the store pick up and give Ryan the number to organise that. Fuck.

Talk about it. Speak to it. That's wonderful. Thank you so much. Would you want to change the shipping information from Charles Patterson then to Ryan Jonathan done so that when he picks it up and they ask for your... Random one. Do any of us drive past there on the way to work? No.

And that wasn't part of it. You just said you would go. Do any of it? Like just thinking about who is it easy for? I'll drive past there. You could. Ryan, Charles and I both drive past it, but if you want to go, that would be awesome. That would actually save us a heap of time.

We'll actually probably be... You already said you were going to do it. So I'm not going to let you off the hook. I said dittling. I just wanted to save you, Tony, from paying $10 to your least favorite organization in Australia Post. You want to talk to me about saving money. Yeah, I do. Never heard it in my life.

I can get two dipping sources for that. And I'll go without. Thanks for picking those up. I really appreciate that. You're welcome. Let me know when you get it. Thanks. Charles, you just let Ryan know when they're ready to put out.

I'm just happy we've donated to Preston Market. Yeah, say Preston Market. And you know what? Do we even need the shirts? Do you know what, though? When you go pick them up, you'll be able to get yourself a little snap from there. Like, this is the thing. You're going to go to the Preston Market and you get food.

Nah, all jokes aside, going to the Preston Market is not a chore for me because I love that place. It's a treat. Yeah, there's that little... Lucky because you're headed there. Yeah, well, I'm trying to convince myself now that it's not a bad thing because if I go, I'll get a coffee and a croissant and a little fucking slice and I'll go to that. You know, I love that little, um... Never been there before.

No, the general store on the corner. They have heaps of good... Fuck on. I've been more than you and you live 12 metres way. Oh, why are you latching out? Yeah, I'm latching out. Because I love that store on the corner. Do you?

What's it called? The corner store. It's called rhubarb, rhubarb. Rubarb, rhubarb. three. I was getting to the third, brother. You cut me off before I got,

I like to pause between the second and third rhubarb. You do, yeah. They have great chips. They have great sodas. Oh, it's called rhubarb, rhubarb. Fuck you.

Fuck you. All right. Oh, that's good stuff. See you at the press tomorrow. Ow. Love you.