Toni and Ryan - Sandwiches In Milk

Episode Date: May 24, 2023

Your best Normal or Nahs - plus I fell over in a large room full of fancy people! Toni xoxoxCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. OrthoChef Tony Lodge. Chef? Chef? What was that noise that just came out of your body? We're about to call Canada. Canada? And I think this person is a drug dealer. What? Yep.

Well, should we... It's Aline. No, don't use their name. They might want a low profile. Oh, it's Shmaline. Oh, well... We can't... Excuse me? Okay.

Oh, don't. I'm getting nervous. What are you... Hello? Aline. Oh, my God. It's Tony and Ryan. How are you doing?

I'm about to pass away. Oh, please don't. Hopefully you can medicate yourself. Yeah. Sorry, is it Aline? Is Ryan pronouncing that correctly? No, it's Aileen. Aileen.

Sorry about that. Aileen, Ryan's just shared some information with me that you're a drug dealer. Would you like us to not use your full name on here? No, it's totally fine. I actually work, I'm a pharmacy manager. Oh. Oh, comedy.

I work in a pharmacy. Oh, well, Eileen, I was worried that we'd outed you as, you know, you were some underbelly drug lord or something. No, legalised. It's what I do for a job. Make it legal. No. Legalized. It's what I do for a job. Make it legal. All right. Aileen.

Oh, my God. Aileen. Stop saying Aileen. I was trying to cover up her name. No, you weren't. Aileen, will you approve this podcast? It is totally fair. I 100% approve this podcast.

Yay! Hey, it's Aileen from Fort McMurray, Alberta, Canada, and I approve this podcast. Yay! Hey, it's Aileen from Fort McMurray, Alberta, Canada, and I approve this podcast. All right, coming up today, you should never meet your heroes. Tony met Alison Roman a few weeks back. Yeah. And it turns out after we left the studio, that wasn't the end of the Alison and Tony story.

There's been a development. A good development? Ooh. Spoiler alert, no. No, I don't think so. I'm not because, oh, yeah, we'll get to it. Yeah, I don't want to say too much. Okay.

Okay. That's coming up soon. But first, normal or nah? I've missed normal or nah. So have I. Please send through your normal or nahs to our Facebook group. There's always a post there where you can add yours and we'll ask them on the show. It's a pinned post.

So don't be trying to post your normal or nahs willy-nilly. There's a pinned post. Put it on the pin. Put it on the pin. Put it on the pin post. Pin me post and call me Patricia. Tiffany Fletcher asks, normal or nah? Hi, Tiffany Fletcher.

Looking up movie plots on Wikipedia while watching the movie. Normal. I just want to know what happens, and I'm not patient enough just to watch it. Normal. I love it. I don't feel like it ruins it for me, but it drives my husband insane. Normal. I love it. I don't feel like it ruins it for me, but it drives my husband insane.

Normal. 100%. 100% normal. On the weekend, Torbs and I watched the first Transformers movie. Oh, yeah. And I feel like most people know. I'd never seen it, right? I've never seen it, yeah.

Oh, okay. So literally the first scene, this big box comes from the moon or something. Sure. Fuck, I don't know. Anyway, the big box lands on the moon or the earth or fucking whatever. And I go, oh, well, where's that come from? Torbjorn goes, they're actually, they haven't told you yet. And I was like, yeah, I know.

That's why I'm asking you. And he goes. If they told me, I wouldn't be asking, would I? He goes i he goes yeah but like you don't need to know yet and i was like but where where's the box come from why it's come from the moon and he goes yeah so the thing is is that like if you shut the fuck up they actually and i was like they're not saying where the boxes come from why it's on the moon or the earth or whatever and he goes yeah if you watch the movie they tell you because at one stage I watched this movie for the first time and I managed to figure it out.

And I was like, oh, okay. Someone's in a mood. I'm TP. So I slid to my skull. I was a normal. But now that I've heard that, yeah, I'm frustrated for Torbs. Well, I mean, I ended up doing my own research. Sorry, wouldn't be saying that.

I ended up, you know, I'm just a bit more discerning than others. I did my own research on the internet, figured out where the box was from. I actually don't remember. The Autobot country town. I don't know. People that like Transformers are angry now. I used to, yeah. I used to work with this girl and when she read a book.

Who? Nah, just kidding. Yeah. She would always read the last page of a book first. Nah, fuck that off. But usually the last, and I haven't read many books. Yeah, this is going to be a huge generalisation. Yep.

Just the last page, the story might have ended five pages prior and it's just like wrapping things up. And it normally is just like, and they lived happily ever after. Yeah. But she's like, and I was like, why did he do that? She goes, because if I die whilst reading it, at least I'll know how it finishes. That's fucking stupid.

Yeah. That's dumb. Yeah. I don't want to know what happens in the movie. I just want to know where the box came from. Yeah, I just need a bit more gist. Yeah. Yeah.

I just need a gist because then I kind of know when to prick my ears up and go, that's going to be important, you know? Otherwise, I'm just sitting there and I'm like, well, where's the box come from? Who are the robots? Why is that little robot trying to steal the other thing? You know, I just can't get in the zone if I don't have a vibe. Yeah.

So this is so random. Have you ever watched Murder, She Wrote? No, I'm only 29 years old. Yeah, okay. Well, if you're over 70, you'll know the show I'm talking about. Ryan's now a dad and apparently a grandparent. But actually, I actually watched this with my nana. Kid.

So at the start, it's like a murder mystery show. But at the start of every episode, you know, there's like a scene or whatever. And then there'll be like a random zoom in on something. Just basically the director saying, this is important. Let them know. Yeah, like they'll put the coffee down and then like they'll zoom in on the coffee and you go, oh, what? But also, and the score goes, boom, boom. Yeah.

And you go, oh, I'm supposed to remember this, eh? There's an audio cue and you go, coffee cup, nice. Yep. Or they go to lock the door and then they show them like the door not locking and it like really zooms in and you go, oh, please don't lock. Yeah. And then right at the end you go, oh, because the door wouldn't lock. Okay, what's next to the coffee?

How do we not know? Ava. Hi, Ava. My brother always eats sandwiches by dipping them in milk. Is this normal or nah? He thought it was normal until he mentioned it to his friends and they were so confused and grossed out. Am I wrong?

Are his friends wrong? Or is my brother, in fact, a fuckhead? Fuckhead. Yeah. We're changing this segment to fuckhead or nah, and it's fuckhead. I don't know. Dip, hang on. Dip the sandwich in the milk.

In a glass of milk. So he sits down. Does it matter what's in the sandwich or is this like a special treat for like, I'm having a Milo sandwich, a Nutella sandwich. I reckon at some stage of his childhood, his mum's gone, sit down for lunch and then he sat down and there's a sandwich in a glass of milk and he's gone, well, obviously these things are related. I've had chip and dip before.

This seems similar. Yep. Okay. Is there Baileys in this, Mum? And so he's gone and picks up the sandwich and gone, okay, there's milk there. Bunk. Eating it and carried on with his day.

Yeah, but there's things that I did as a kid that I don't anymore do, like shitting my pants and, like, suck on my hair and stuff. Like, I feel like as you grow up, you just stop doing fucked shit. You've done both those things in the last year. I haven't sucked on my hair in the last year. Do you know why I actually read this really fucked story the other day? That this little – oh, yeah, but I shit my pants all the time. We're all adults. You just said. what i mean by that i don't shit myself you do shit yourself yeah i do it every

time because i'm an adult well no okay so the thing is is that obviously i know that shitting my pants isn't like i don't consciously go like oh oh, time to poo, I'll just shit my pants. It's like, oh, if there's an emergency, then sometimes these things happen, isn't it? Yep. Right? And then obviously I know that that's not the desired outcome, but like sometimes that happens.

I'm an adult and I can admit that. But is it the default? No. What I was talking about, though, is that I read this really fucked story about this little girl who was sucking on her hair and it created a bezoar in her tummy. Oh. So scary.

I used to always suck on my hair as a kid. Do you have any bezoars? No, I don't. No? Okay. You've dodged a bullet there. You've dodged a bullet there. Do you know what a bezoar is?

No. No. No. It's like a mass in your tummy. It's like a fur ball and, like, nothing can get in or out and, like, your intestinal tract gets, like, all jammed up because there's, like, a big fur ball in there. That sounds fucked.

It's really fucked. That sounds fucked. Anyway, the sandwich in the milk, let's stop talking about me, the sandwich in the milk, that's fucked. Yeah me, the sandwich in the milk, that's fucked. Yeah. So imagine if you were having like a ham and pickle sandwich or like mustard or something and you're dipping that in milk. That makes me feel physically ill.

It does. It does. I might have a B-sword. Yeah. The thought of that's giving you a B-sword. Yeah. Yeah. It'll do that.

Is your A-sword and I'm a B-sword? Yeah. Come over to my house and you'll have a seesaw. Oh! If you keep going like that, I'll make you a deesaw. Ah! Is that the end of normal on our release? We've got some more to go.

One more. Great. Oh, one more. The big deal. Yep. Hi, the big deal. The big deal. Yep. Hi, the big deal. The big deal says, when I see birth announcements, I immediately imagine the conception. Every single time, says Jade Dillingham.

She also says, congrats, Ryan and Bridget. Sorry, Ryan and Bridget. I think that that's quite normal. Not like the baby announcement, but the pregnancy announcement. I'm like, someone's being busy. You know, like. Do you do it in that voice? Unfortunately, yes.

The most fucked one, though, is that like, do you remember being in high school, right? Yeah. And like a teacher getting pregnant? Oh. And being like, I know what's happening. Yeah. Weird. It is weird. getting pregnant and being like, oh, I know what's happening. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, weird.

It is weird. We had, there was one teacher that we had who was like, she was very prim and proper and she was like very, just like very straight up and down, kind of no nonsense. And I remember her like getting engaged while I was at school and then afterwards like getting pregnant, like a year later or something, getting pregnant and I remember being like, but you're so like you're all professional at school. And it turns out after hours you're home getting rails raw.

Getting nasty? Yeah. What? Someone's jizzing in you after hours? Yeah. Do you still think about that often? I thought about it recently, yeah. Really?

And I was like, and I'm almost 30. Yeah, yeah. Yep. But you know how you kind of like instantly you're like, nuts. Okay, cool. All right, there's this viral video that's been doing the rounds and this kid's like, meet my 10 kids under 10. Have you seen that one?

What the fuck? I think we watched it in a recent, in a reaction video. Oh, we did too. Yeah. 10 under 10. Well, I'm doing the math and I'm thinking, how long are they waiting after one comes out before he's putting one back in? There might've been a couple of triplets and a couple of twins in there.

No, straight up. Oh, fuck. Yeah, okay. Nine boys and one girl. Fuck. Imagine a guy when they're all older taking her on a date and not treating her right and there's nine brothers rolling. Yeah, and a dad somewhere in the mix.

Fuck, I just cannot. I couldn't. I could. No. Yeah. But jokes on you, the big deal. When you were thinking about me, to get the job done, I was actually thinking about her.

Hey, it's Aileen from Fort McMurray, Alberta, Canada, and you are listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. There's lots of good shit over there. You should check it out. The link's in our show notes. Natasha Clarkson, thank you so much. Kate Aylmore, Parker Hilliard, Robin, Cody Reapus, and Stuart Barber.

Thank you very much for being part of it. We actually, last week with our champion tapas, did a movie night. It was great. And we all watched Scooby-Doo. Scooby-Doo. On like the Netflix party app thing that you can do. And we were all chatting on the side. It was so fun. So yeah, basically it's like a group text almost

as you're watching a movie together. And we're all watching it at the same time. So I fucked up a little bit. You did fuck up. And I didn't realise that I had to set it to, like, me only control it. So people did play silly buggers a little bit with press and pause and play.

I didn't like that. As you can imagine, I was getting a bit fed up. But I think everyone joined the group and went, oh, how's this work? I'll press play. And then we're like, we're not started yet. Pause. And then someone else comes into the chat joined the group and went oh how's this work i'll press play and then we're like we're not started yet yeah pause and then someone else comes into the chat and they go oh how's this work do i press play no yeah and you know how like spacebar is play so i think that people would go to like type in the chat and their spacebar would then hit press and then someone would go oh someone's hit pause and

they'd go to hit play but someone would have else would have already hit play and then they would pause it again. So it was like a bit of a mess and that was my bad. I've never been bullied more than when I thought Shakira was in that movie. It was Isla Fisher. Blonde Isla Fisher and Shakira are the same fucking person and then I won't hear another word about it. Okay. Well, maybe open your ears because you need to hear about it.

This Sunday. Yep. A film premiere. Uh-huh. Tony Lodge in I Still Call Australia Home. This Sunday premiering on YouTube. Watch it. Enjoy it.

It's the full backstory. You get to actually watch the audition that Tony had for the choir. You're welcome. You get to see the traveling. You get to see the song. And the most beautiful part, I believe, Tony still hasn't seen it i haven't seen it is the final scene where all the tapas are at the sydney opera house on the steps it just looked like i can't wait to see it it's emotional yeah it's emotional i reckon yeah um but yeah so that'll premiere on youtube on sunday yep um On YouTube on Sunday. Yep. Oh. Oh. Speaking of another dream coming true.

So what was like a week ago? I guess, yeah. Two weeks ago. You guys surprised me by meeting my favourite internet personality, Alison Roman. Yeah. She's a cook, like an online cook. She does like YouTube videos. She's like written recipes.

She's got three books. I really like her. I didn't realise she used to be like the food critic for like the New York Times or one of those fancy like establishments and stuff. So she did like Bon Appetit and the New York Times like food. Yeah. So when, I don't want to say just a YouTuber because, I mean, we're in the, like there's no, but like I didn't realize she'd done

all this other stuff in the lead up. Like, yeah, incredible. So the reason that she was in Australia was because she's promoting her new book and she kind of, I saw a few other things that she did and she was like, oh, I like started doing food on the internet when like the internet just started. She was like, like my first job was like the year instagram came out whoa so she was like so i've been around for like longer than you would

kind of thing yeah because when you go oh yeah she's a youtuber but you're like fuck it's actually been such a long time takes it what do we say a long time to be an overnight success oh it's 10 years to become an overnight you know um, so you guys organised this surprise for me and it was so, I could not believe that I met her. I was so excited. And in the chat we talked about like Australian sayings and we talked to her about like Australian food and stuff. And we mentioned the I'm not here to fuck spiders thing.

She was like, I've heard this weird expression and I think it's just that classic like American in Australia, ha-ha, scare them, talk about drop bears and that you're not here to fuck spiders thing. She was like, I've heard this weird expression and I think it's just that classic like American in Australia, ha-ha, scare them, talk about drop bears and that you're not here to fuck spiders. And during that chat, do you remember that I said, she said something and I was like, oh, tickets, which is like quite a common Australian thing. It's like this guy is a little bit confident in their own ability. I think the saying comes from when you're at the horse races, you

bet on a horse and you get the bet ticket. So tickets is like you've bought tickets on yourself. Yeah, you're backing yourself because you've got tickets on yourself. And then in the podcast, she said, oh, if that comes up at my book tour show, I'll mention you. So I already, before I'd met her, I already bought tickets for Torbs and I to go and watch Alison Roman do like a, it was an in conversation. It was Benjamin Law and Alison Roman. A night with Alison Roman.

Yeah. And it was at the, what's the, like the Melbourne Town Hall. Yeah. Beautiful old building. So stunning. Yeah. Like the Melbourne Town Hall. Yeah, beautiful old building. So stunning. And it was like a beautiful rainy night in Melbourne. Like it was just, it was a gorgeous night and I was so excited.

And I'd met her the day before, so I was like, oh, my God. And then she was like, oh, I'll mention you on the stage. And I was like, oh, my God, that's not going to happen, but like how cool. Anyway, I have to say something a little bit embarrassing. I got really dressed up because I hoped that she would like spot me in the crowd. You know how I said 10 seconds ago that's not embarrassing? I would like to retract that. I thought so.

I thought so. I got really dressed up because I was like, oh, my God, she spots me in the crowd and goes me in the crowd and goes oh my god yeah let's come up here and co-host with me yep tony lot or like change mate or like after that let's grab a cocktail after this i'm not here to fuck spies oh my god tony meet me at the back door of the theater and we'll go and have a martini i'm just like imagining that i'm like this main character of this like whole situation you You imagining yourself as main character. Yeah. It doesn't really make sense, isn't it?

Um, anyway, so we got there quite early. Also very Tony vibes. And Torbs was like, there's a bar just around the corner. Let's just go and have a drink and then we'll come back. And,

um, so we went there and the drinks just took forever to come out. And you stressing about being late? So I was stressing about being late. The point of me getting there early, Torbs, is to actually get in there early. It's not to go somewhere late? So I was stressing about being late. The point of me getting there early, Torbs, is to actually get in there early. It's not to go somewhere else around the corner and then still be late.

Still be late, exactly. Does he know you? And so I think it was supposed to start at 8.30, and we got there at like 10 to 8. And he was like, all right, we're really early. We'll go, we'll get a drink, which will take 15 minutes. It's Friday night in the city. It was so – everything was packed. Like, all right, we're really early. Like, we'll go, we'll get a drink, which will take 15 minutes. Then we'll come. It's Friday night in the city.

It was so, everything was packed. It takes 15 minutes to make a cocktail in a cocktail bar. Everything was packed. And anyway, so we go and sit down and then we still haven't gotten our drinks and it's like 8.15. Fuck. And I was like, fuck. So they finally brought our drinks over and we're like, skull, skull, skull.

And I cannot drink. Tony is the cheapest date ever. I just, it goes straight to my head. Like I've just, I'm not a good drinker. Anyway, so I'm like, Alex, we need, Torbs, we need to like drink this really fucking quickly and we need to get back there. And he was like, mate, it's fine.

Like we've got tickets. They're going to, like, it's going to be fine. Anyway, we end up like racing back around the corner. We get there. There's this massive line. I'm like everybody's waiting they're gonna start if everyone's waiting like just chill out it's fine it is not a ticketed event it's like not seated oh and i didn't realize that so everyone's like first in to get the best seats so like all of the goods so like where you're kind of walking in, everyone's just like, you know how people are idiots at seating themselves? Yeah. Everybody like is taking the good seats basically like at the entrance.

Yeah. So it is packed already, but it's packed like, so you kind of got to walk through everybody that's already sitting. You know what I mean? Yeah, that is because the entrance, the front door is like on the side, isn't it? Yeah. So it's kind of like the stage is to the left of you as you're walking in,

but everyone's like filling up the seats like on either side and the top like dress circle around the top, that's completely filled as well. Right. Anyway, so it's packed and we are like straggling at the end of the line. I'm like, fuck, am I going to have to go like walk over and like find a seat? at the end of the line and I'm like, fuck, am I going to have to go like walk over and like find a seat? Yeah. As we're walking to find a seat, theatre's full,

I go A over T in the middle of the auditorium. Were you riding a scooter at the time? Why did you fall over? Well, I was very dressed up, wearing shoes I don't normally wear. Were you in a taxi in Jakarta? Why were you falling over? Literally ate shit in front of like an entire auditorium full of people. What sort of shoes?

Like a heel? No, they weren't even a heel. It was just like loafers but like a pointed loafer kind of vibe. But, yeah, I just – I don't know what happened. I just ate shit. Was it the drink? Maybe. You just sculled four minutes earlier?

And then I was kind of like, fuck, we need to find some seats and whatever. I ate shit. Everybody, like all the people behind me were looking. All the people in front of me turned around. Like it was like a real hubbub. And did Torbs help you up? Or did he take a step back and say, shame. He helped me up.

What a nice friend. And then I kind of like, I'm trying to like laugh it off and be all fine and then we like sit down and because I'd been laughing too, I was like, oh, my God, like don't, you know, I was like, can you not fucking laugh at me? Because I'm like I was acting cool in front of everyone just before and now we're sitting down and I'm actually sore. Anyway, so we find a seat, we sit down, and I sit down behind this girl

and she's like on Alison Roman's Instagram page. Yep. And Alison Roman had shared our reel to her story. And this girl is clicking through Alison Roman's story. She clicks on my profile and then she's scrolling through all of our videos. Your Instagram? Right in front of me. And she's sitting in front of me and I'm like watching this happen.

And she's like scrolling right through. Then she goes to our Spotify page, like hits like to look at the podcast and stuff. And then she goes back to my profile, goes to hit follow, doesn't. She didn't follow. That's okay. That's all right. Anyway, and so I'm like watching this girl.

Did she realise that that was the dumb bitch that just fell over right in front of her? Yeah, I don't think so because I was behind her. So I don't know if she knew, but'm instantly i'm like oh my god everybody in this auditorium like is probably doing going to her instagram going what else has she done in melbourne seen our stuff and then gone that's that stupid bitch just fell over anyway during the chat like during the show um allison makes this joke about they're talking about something and she goes, oh, well, you have to hold your tickets.

And Benjamin Law, who is like adjudicating, not adjudicating, like hosting, goes, what? And she goes, you know, the saying like you have to hold your tickets. He's like, I don't know what you're talking about. No, that's not the saying at all. And she goes, Tony, where are you? Oh, no, don't fuck. No, don't fuck up the saying and then throw me under the bus.

Yeah, so then I'm like, oh, and she goes, Tony, Tony. And I was just like, I'm here. Hang on. I'm actually going to stop you right there, mate. You can't sit there and be like, oh, how annoying I was called up when you literally said I wanted to be called up. You manifested this. I know.

You dressed up for this. Okay, but the thing is is that I didn't then think I would have to like justify what she'd – like because I'm like down in the fucking nosebleeds, like right at the back, and I'm like, I'm here, and she goes, what's the saying? And I was like, it's just tickets. And it's like so, but everyone turns again to fucking look at me. It is just like I literally wanted the whole earth to just swallow me up.

The ticket saying is hard to explain. It is. And then Benjamin Law is like, I don't know what you're talking about. And she's just like, I swear like Australians, I'll say that they say all these things but no one knows them and just like kind of like they moved on. But like I just felt so stupid because she backed it up, then called me out and I was like, well, that's not what I told you.

Well, you fucked that up. So, okay, we left the chat that we did with Alison Roman and we almost joked because we all got along well that even Alison was like, oh, never meet your heroes. Turns out she was a bitch and we were like, oh, never meet your heroes. Turns out she was a bitch. And we're like, oh, turns out you're actually nice. Yeah. Do heroes throw you under the bus?

Benjamin Lord didn't fucking help. I still love her. Like it's definitely not like I'm not cut about it, but I was just like, fuck, how embarrassing. I've just fallen over. Everyone was already fucking looking at me. Now this is happening. And then so because

she called out to me i was like oh my god like people don't know who i am yeah no and then um at the end of the event i was kind of like walking really slowly waiting for someone like alison to invite you for a martini yes hoping that she would kind of walk out and be like oh my god anyway um it turns out actually no no, I was just attracting attention because all these people started coming over and I'm like, yes, I'm Tony Lodge. They're like, hey, I saw you fell over before. That was really bad.

Are you okay? And I was like, yeah, I'm all right. You look really familiar. Yeah, I've got a pocket. I'm like, yeah, you remind me of that girl that ate shit at the start. Actually, I'm like literally being like, oh, everyone's recognizing me. She called me out during the chat. They're like, oh, my God, did you interview her? I'm like literally being like oh everyone's recognizing me she called me out during the chat they're like oh my god did you interview her i'm like yeah i did she didn't do many

interviews while she was in australia like yeah that was us and they're like yeah do you need a band-aid or something humbled lodge mashie's humbled lodge all these people are like are you all right and tobs is standing there like, please stop asking her because she's going to explode. Did you explode? How long did you? No, and I was just like, oh, and then we, this is so embarrassing. We stood at the line where they were signing books thinking like,

oh, she'll come out and whatever. And it turned out that we were just like standing there and then she was in like a separate room and people were like lining up where we were. But we were just like standing off the side because I was like, I don't need a book signed. I've already got one. Oh, do you?

Must be nice. Well, I didn't want to take away the opportunity from like someone else. You know, I'm a really nice guy. Of course. And then it turned out that because we were standing off to the side, they actually cut off the line. She didn't come out at all and then we went home. So she didn't come out.

We didn't have a cocktail. Got dressed up for nothing. Fell over. Looked like a cockhead and that's it yeah yeah lots of people in uh did recognize me though for falling over yeah not for being you know like a comedian superstar just for a comedian superstar i've thought that that's what was happening okay i just want to point something out to you i just want to like connect some dots yeah if i may please uh detective Detective Dunn. So Alison Roman, being a food critic and writing for some big magazines and stuff, would you say it's like a highbrow crowd, like a foodie crowd?

Oh, that's a good question. It's in the town hall. It's on Collins Street. It's Friday night. People are wearing nice, fancy clothes. It's talking about – I feel like foodies have this kind of air of – Kind of classy vibe. Yeah. It was actually. What's your new feel like foodies have this kind of air of. Kind of classy vibe. Yeah.

Yeah, it was actually. What's your new name? Yeah. Tony Mashie's Lodge. Do you think KFC Mashie's in A Night With Alison Roman talking about. It's actually a very good point. I'm just saying the Venn diagram crossover.

The cross section of the audiences. It's not our area, mate. I should have known when that girl didn't follow me. Yell at a bitch. She went, what is that shit? But if you went to like the specials aisle at Aldi.

Oh, that's my area. That's your area. Okay. Do you want to go to Aldi after this? Yeah, we'll get mashies in the drive-thru and we'll go to Aldi. Nice. That sounds like a day. That's a fucking day out.

Speaking of food, I got to love to see it. And I'm scared that I've done this before. I'm scared that there's no backstory or anything because it's just a one word you love to see it. Okay. Shortbreads. Oh, butter. Come inside me.

I will. Yeah. Thank you. Delicious. So good. So I got to like... Alison Roman actually has a lovely lemony shortbread in her new book. Does she?

Uh-huh. Someone gave us... We've got lots of presents since we're, you know, nesting, and someone gave us like a little, you know, biscuits assorted. Oh, cute. And I'll tell you the only thing better than a shortbread is a shortbread you're not expecting, a surprise shortbread. That's like at Christmas.

Yeah, so I just thought it was a random biscuit and I bit into it and went, oh, Bridget, that's shortbread. Undercover shortbread. Got me. Hook, line and sinker. Yeah that's shortbread. Undercover shortbread. Got me. Hook, line and sinker. Yeah, I love that. Undercover. Oh.

That's my love to see. You do love a shortbread, don't you? I love a shortbread. A shortbread and a mashie and a little nap to salvo, maybe. Delicious. My favourite three things. My love to see it is this meme that I saw. I'm just saying it's really funny.

It's by Princess underscore Labia on Twitter. By far the highlight of the aquarium today was seeing two women walk around with their wedding planner and the wedding planner saying, we can't actually guarantee that the sharks will come to the front during the vows. Imagine these two rich as fuck people being like, well, we want the sharks to come to the front during the vows. They go, well, yeah, we can't do that.

You can book the aquarium. It's not a dog. Let's get a little shark whistle. Get a little treats. Yeah, you can book the aquarium. I cannot guarantee the sharks at the front. We can't guarantee that. Fucking hell.

But imagine overhearing that, like overhearing that conversation. Okay, that lady's got a day ahead of her. Be a wedding planner, they say. And the couple are just like, well, it's all we want. But, I mean, if the sharks aren't going to be at the front, we might as well just do it in mum's backyard. Yeah. You know, like, what's the compromise there?

I thought you loved to say that. It's very funny. It's very aggressive, though. But, I mean. It's not a beautiful dolphin. But have, oh, sharks are sick, but. Yeah, but, like, I don't associate, like, I associate sharks with, like, aggression and masculinity and not loving wedding day.

But have you ever been on that little conveyor belt under the aquarium? I don't know if they have one at the Melbourne Aquarium, but in Perth it's called Aqua, A-Q-W-A, love it. It's quite cool, Aquarium of Western Australia. It's quite good. Anyway, and there's that little conveyor belt that you stand and it's just all dark and blue and the sharks are going across the thing and there's all the fish conveyor belt that you stand, and it's just like all dark and blue,

and like the sharks are going across the thing, and there's all the fish. And what, you just stand on the conveyor belt? That'd be quite beautiful. You just stand on the conveyor belt. Well, I don't know if you, oh, as in to get married, or just in general? Just in general.

Okay, in general. Yeah, you just stand, you just like. I know. Sorry. Is this a video show today? No, it's tomorrow. When Tony said in general, she's solution. Yeah, in general.

That's how I make your mother joke. You know how they go, oh, that's a major pain in the ass. Major pain in the ass. I'm not. Yeah. Anyway. So, like, yeah, you stand on the conveyor belt and it very slowly takes you through under the water. You're not wet.

It's like glass. Yeah. Fuck, that's lazy from aquarium goers. No, but it's like, because then you're not, like, all bustling around. You just stand on the conveyor belt. It's more, I think, so that, like, people aren't, like, walking in front of you. It's, like, gets everybody through at a pace. Like, you know what I mean?

Gets them in, but it also gets them out. Yeah. And then, cause you know, when you're like at the zoo or at an aquarium or whatever, and everyone's like walking in front of everybody, trying to get photos or whatever. Yeah. It's, I think it's like a good way of. With the wedding couple. Yeah.

So do you think that they get. A bride on a conveyor belt. She's just spinning around. She's like Kylie Minogue. She's spinning around the thing. And then. The vows go too long. I'll catch you on the nextyor belt? She's just spinning around. She's like Kylie Minogue. She's spinning around the thing and then... The vows go too long. I'll catch you on the next last week. Yeah, oh, hang on.

I do... Hang on. She'll come back around. She'll come back around. Or the grandparents are on the conveyor belt. They can't get off. Anyway, we'll be back tomorrow. Video show tomorrow.

Maybe more aquarium chat. Who knows? I've got some advice. If anyone in your life is about to become a dad, here's what not to do. And the reason I know that you shouldn't do it is because my mum did it to me and it's a hard no. It's a zero out of ten.

Do not recommend. Oh, okay. We'll get to that tomorrow. All right. We'll chat to you then. Love you. Bye.