Toni and Ryan - Scone Scandal

Episode Date: April 17, 2023

I DID SOMETHING ILLEGAL AND I NEED TO GET IT OFF MY CHEST!!!! Plus your juicy confessions! (If you've got a SPICY confession you need to get off your chest, we wanna hear about it COMPLETELY ANONYMOUSLY HERE!) Love ya! Toni xoxoxox Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the podcast. Welcome. My name is Ryan. I'm here with Dr. Best-Selling Author Tony Lodge and we are calling Charlie, although I think it's like short for Charlotte. Oh yeah. Do you like Charlie as a girl's name? I do. Yeah, it's cute isn't it? But as a Tony who like, so girl with a boy's name, like a bisexual name, I love it. Like I love Peter for a girl's name, P-E-T-A, gorgeous. Let's call Charlie in Charlie, yeah. Sorry. She lives in California. So Charlie's hot. You can only imagine how hot she is far out.

Okay. Well, she's so hot she gave me the fake number. That always happens with hot girls. Oh, no worries, mate. Give me a call. Yeah. Oh, I'd love to talk to you. And then you call them up and they're like, hey, this is the McDonald's in Richmond.

Just the usual Ryan with a speed dial. Yeah. Shit. We've got your number saved. Imagine if it's a restaurant. Hello? Charlie. Charlie.

What, what? Hello. How are you? I'm great. How are you, Tony? Yeah, we're well. Now, can you just confirm, obviously, you? I'm great. How are you, Toni? Yeah, we're well. Now, can you just confirm, obviously, you're a hot California girl because every girl in California is hot. Is this correct?

Yes, absolutely. Yeah. And not every girl, every person. Every person in California is hot. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. We're very gender inclusive here. Thank you.

Just to show how much Charlie is a 10 out of a 10 catch. Yeah. What do you do for a job, Charlie? I'm an engineer. Oh, couple of engineers, two hot girls, two hot engineers. Yeah. How do you feel about Tony that hasn't finished college calling herself an audio engineer? Does that think it cheapens the word engineer for real engineers like you? Well, I have a story, which is I was talking to my co-worker's wife, who is also an audio engineer, and I was telling her about this whole thing

where whether or not Tony is an actual engineer, and she just goes, no. Oh. She's not flying the flag for other engineers. Say that again? No. No, she isn't. I think they could be a far larger advocate for us being engineers.

But you're allowed to be self-deprecating, you know, if you go, oh, like, yeah, it's just me. I'm not really an engineer. So what kind of engineer are you, Charlie? I'm an electrical engineer. Oh, so another fake engineer. Oh, fuck off. A real engineer. Yeah engineer That is a real engineer

That is real good stuff So not only are you fucking way smarter than me What can't you do Charlie will you approve this episode Absolutely Oh and guess who's going to have to cut this fucking thing Me I'm going to have to engineer it

Some underqualified Hey I'm Charlie I'm hot And I'm from California have to engineer it. Some underqualified schmuck. Hey, I'm Charlie. I'm hot and I'm from California and I approve this podcast. I don't want to over sensationalize this episode, but here are the facts. Yep. One of us has broken the law and triple zero has been called. Are both these things true?

Yep. The emergency services were called. The triple zero is the 911 of Australia? Yeah, or the O-O-O of... Look at producers, Cam. O-O-O, you'll find that. The zero, zero, zero. That's the same thing. In New Zealand, is it 999 or 111?

2, 2, 2, 3, 3, 3. It's numbers. It's numbers. It's something. 911. Triple zero is being called. One of us has broken the law. And it's probably not the one you'd expect it to be.

And that's coming up today. And boy, am I looking forward to hearing the explanation about this. But first, these are our confessions. People who listen to this podcast, send in their confessions, tonyandryan.com.au. Completely anonymous. We don't ask for anything from you. We don't ask for name.

You know when you go to buy something online and it's like, oh, check out as guest or whatever, and then it asks you for all the same stuff. If you're going to give me a 25-point questionnaire, I may as well have just signed up to your shit website for 10% off. Well, the other week I bought a ticket to the – like was buying tickets to the comedy festival and I was like, cool, I just want the tickets.

Like I just want them. And it was like sign into Ticketek. What's your star sign? If we sent you an email, what preferences would you like? Yeah, what was the weather on the day you were born? You know, like, who cares? Who fucking cares? Snakey Baker.

Snakey Baker. Has written in. This is, I'll be interested to see where you stand on this, actually. Aww. I run a small bakery and just won an award for the best scones in my city. Holy moly. How good's that? Congratulations.

That's insane. I love a scone. Do you know what's really good and I think a bit underrated, like a random scone? You know how sometimes you get like a random scone that's maybe like spinach and feta scone? Do you like a date in a scone? Oh, yeah.

I'm a big fan of fruit bread across the board. I know that we recently talked about hot cross buns for Easter. We are pro hot cross bun across the year. Do you like recently talked about hot cross buns for easter we are pro hot cross bun across the year i am a like do you like raisin toast like fruit toast in winter on my tits it's so good there's now this fruit toast just the effort you put into saying come away this and the look you gave me and you said it just there is now a fruit bread that you can get like just from coles like It's a Reggie one. Yeah.

And it's brioche with the sultanas in it and the apple spice and stuff. Well, RIP my cholesterol. Actually. Yeah. Butter me up, dog. Stick it in. Yeah. Buy extra toasters so you can have heaped pieces on the go all the time.

How many bits of toast can you do at once in your toaster? Probably two. Oh, I can do four at a time. But I normally only do two. Sometimes I do do a third one, but I always regret it and I can you do it once in your toaster? Probably two. Oh, I can do four at a time. But I normally only do two. Sometimes I do do a third one, but I always regret it and I can't eat it. Especially when I'm having coffee at the same time. We often joke about Tony being rich, but having a four

slice toaster. It's just from Kmart. Mate, I don't need you. Oh, is that? That's huge. Is it? Yeah. Is it actually? That's like, stepped up level. Well, didn't I know that? Oh, is it? Just normal for me, I guess. My DeLonghi toaster. It's not, it's like stepped up. Well, didn't I know that? Is it just normal for me, I guess? My DeLonghi toaster. It's not from Kmart.

I run a small bakery and we just won the award for best scones in the city. When I received the award, I was asked, so what's your secret for the perfect scone? Yeah. The confession is I actually just buy 20 kilos of scone pre-mix and add water. But I don't want to admit this on stage when I've got a literal trophy in my hand. So I said, oh, it's this fancy, special artisan butter brand that, you know, it's like the best butter you can buy.

And they're like, yeah, so that's the secret. So anyway, the butter brand catches wind of this and sends her $1,000 worth of this fancy butter, like big boxes in each box. There's like 20 different blocks. And she's like, it's so good, but I don't even use it. If anyone who listens to the podcast wants to come around for toast or anything, let me know because I've got a whole heap of butter that needs to be used up.

Tony will bring her a toaster. Yeah, I can do that. Yeah, four at once. So you've won the award. Yeah. You're standing there with the trophy. Yeah. And then you go, well, I can't say that I use the White Wings box mix.

Yeah. I'd like to thank God. You know, like God is in this bakery. The special ingredient is God and love. Yeah. Oh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh. Yeah. See, I don't think that the problem is that it's a pre-mixed thing in the bakery.

I think that's fine. Who gives a fuck? I mean, everyone got to get it from someplace. Right? Yeah. Everything comes from somewhere. Yeah. You know what I'm saying.

It's the award, though. That would be like if I, you know, I can't even think of an example. But if someone just tastes your scone and says, this is the best in the city, it is like. It's still yours. You still cooked it for the right amount of time. Yeah. But then bringing fucking, you know, Lurpak into it.

Well, I think that was just like a panic move. The fancy butter, like that. And then they sent you all that butter for free. That's a fucking, I might say, if we ever win an award, I might be like, it's thanks to Lurpak so that they sent me extra butter. All right. Question.

Question. In Scarborough. Yeah. In Perth, in WA, my hometown. Yes. In Scarborough and Perth, there's a bakery and it's like the Western Australian newspaper awarded best sausage roll 2003. Oh, yeah.

Classic. That's 20 years old, that sign. And it's still at the front. Yeah. They hang on to those. They do. They do. How long until you like, because I walked past that and went, check the time, carry

the water. Yeah, nah. Well, what's happened for the last 20 years? Well, if you're onto a good thing, you just keep doing it, don't you? But if you kept doing it, would you just keep winning? I see what you're saying. Yeah. So have you won anything in the last 19 years?

Has the standard changed? Is it the bakery's fault that other, you that other new hats are being thrown into the room? There's a new judging criteria and their bias. They've got an agenda. Yeah. Maybe we're cracking open this case. That's what's more important here. I do respect that if she said, oh, I just use pre-mixed thing and water.

It's actually embarrassing for the awards ceremony. said, oh, I just use pre-mixed thing and water. It's actually embarrassing for the awards ceremony. It's like when Aldi wine and champagne wins awards for like, and all of the sommeliers are like, what a beautiful bouquet on the ding dong and the fring.

We don't say ding dong anymore. Sorry. What a lovely bouquet on the... Is that better? Any word will do. Is that better? Any word will do. Is that better? No, it's actually not. Up next, a confession from Lord S. Cummington.

Oh, Lord S. Cummington. Yep. I don't think that the female equivalent of Lord is Lord S., isn't it? Lady? Lady. This confession is? Lady? Lady. This confession is from Lady Lordess Cummington. Lord and Lordess? King and Kingess.

Tony and Ryaness. That's what they say. They say Lion and Lioness. Well, yeah, but that Air and Heiress, that's another one. Yep, Lord and Ryan S. That's what they say. They say lion and lioness. Well, yeah, but the air and heiress, that's another one. Yep, lord and lordess. Yep. I could see where you were coming from, but I was like, why doesn't that sound right?

When I wrote it, it didn't feel right. Yeah. Lord S. Cummington says, one cold winter's night, I went around to see a boy. We've all seen a boy on a cold night. Yep. These are her words, not mine. He railed me good, finished on my face.

I cleaned myself up and went back to the train station. Sorry. I'd like to thank God. Railed me good. Yep. Finished on my face. Yep. And I went off to the train station. Riled me good. Yep. Finished on my face. Yep. And I went off to the train station.

And cleaned herself up. Oh, cleaned herself up. Sorry, first. Well, yeah, because you'd want to do that before you were getting on the train. And then went to the train station. Yep. He didn't even drive her home. No.

And she actually caught the train there as well. Catches the train. Lord S. Cummington. He doesn't sound like a keeper. Catches the train, gets blown on, andton. He doesn't sound like a keeper. Gets blown on and then train home. Especially coming on your face. That's a real power play.

I think coming inside me, whatever, we're all friends. But coming on my face requires more effort. Yeah. Don't you think? If you came on my face. Look at me in the face and ask me something and we're both not allowed to laugh. Okay. If I caught the train to your house and then you came on my face,

you jizzed right on my face, on my moneymaker. Yeah. That's how I make your money. Surely you'd go, I might run your home. I might order you an Uber. Yeah. You know? You're not going, cool, do you have your Mikey, sweetheart?

Like, do you need some change? All I've got's notes, so I can't help you out. Did you come here on a two hour? Will you get back or will you never convert to a day pass? Yeah, is your zone still active? So when you come really quickly, it's actually doing me a favour because I get back on the same ticket. To be fair, after 6pm, your two-hour gets you through the night.

Is it? Yeah. Does it really? But don't be a sucker that buys a two-hour at like $5.58 because then you're fucked. I didn't know that. Yep. Mate, as someone who used to catch the train and go to the party

when I was 16 and had no money. And then come on girls' faces. Come on girls' faces, yeah. When you said order, the literal least thing you can do is not even leave bed, just open an app and push a button. And hit go. And it's probably, if she's getting the train there, you can probably assume that what the trip would have been at max $12.60.

Yep. Yep. He's got that. He's got that. Anyway. She heads to the train station. Must have been around midnight. And this old lady on the platform awaiting for the next train says,

Oh, sweetie, I think you've got a bit of glue in your hair before i even realized what it was she was being so lovely and she's like grabbing at it grabbing it out of my hair not realizing that she's fondling my hookup special sauce with her bare hands. I mean, don't touch people at the train station. I've always said that. I feel like this old lady was hashtag asking for it. I don't want to say asking for it, but it sounds like she... You know, you can't just walk up to people and start touching them. No.

Whether they've got glue in their hair, cum in their hair, it doesn't matter. So not ideal from the old lady, but not great that it was cums. When I saw it, I knew exactly what it was. And when she touched it, she realised straight away as well. Was it, it had dried? Well, she said the word glue, so I'm assuming it like, maybe not fully hardened.

Did she think that she was catching the train home from Arts and Crafts night? At midnight? You know, like, come on, mate. You know? Anyway, yep. We both knew what it was, but I felt so embarrassed, I just feel like I needed to make an excuse. Yeah. So in winter,

at midnight, I told her I'd just applied sunscreen. Oh, sunscreen. I mean, the arts and crafts night would have made more sense. And then the old lady goes, oh, my husband died of skin cancer. Oh, I was about to make a joke like sunscreen, more like cum screen. I'm glad I didn't. And then the lady says, I'm glad to know your boyfriend is being proactive about sun protection cum protection there it is

and then she goes he's actually not my boyfriend we're just seeing each other he's just a friend it's just a gathering yeah He actually didn't even pay for my Uber home. Do you think that's a red flag? Hey, I'm Charlie. I'm hot. I'm from California. And you're listening to Tony and Ryan. I just want to warn everyone off the top that I have a YouTube video ready to play

with a song on it. And when you hear some music, that's me pressing play on this YouTube video. Why? We'll just see how we go. You should have done it through your phone Because it's hooked up to the thing That's okay

Okay Alright A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas Alan Lee Thank you very much Imogen Jace B Kimberley Majors

Kimberley Majors And Heather Shelley Thank you very much for being here Thanks Heather It's an absolute pleasure to have you We've got a new blog tomorrow from the desk of Tony Lodge. Yep. I forgot to do my blog last week.

Did you? Yeah, I did. Oh, no, I noticed. I know. No, I meant like I noticed. Oh, no, you didn't. You've been busy. You've been running around Australia calling Australia home.

Every time I do a blog, you go, oh, how is that going? So I don't think that you noticed. No, no, I noticed. I noticed. Tell me that you noticed, genuinely. Well, I've got some feedback for the blog. Maybe we'll put that in there. Oh, okay.

We'll talk about that on the show. Oh, all right. Yeah. All right. Actually, no, I'll save it. What? I've noticed that some of the blog is like you asking for stuff rather than you like delivering the goods.

No, it's me being like, I've been thinking about this. What do you reckon? Yeah. Like I asked for hints of book recommendations. I feel like you're outsourcing the blog to the company. No, but then it's not like the next week I go, here's some book recommendations. That I've personally thought of.

You know, like it's not as if I'm repurposing it. There was one in particular that I was like, she's half an hour before the vlog's due. No, I was doing them the day before. Okay. Okay. I'll find the one and then we'll decide. How is it going?

Sometimes you don't do stuff like very good. Yeah. Like saying sentences. How's it feel? So I'm doing my best. No, you're doing great. That sounds like understanding. I actually meant that.

Obviously. Obviously. Can't believe that you... It's really good quality What the fuck was that? What the fuck was that? Oh, sometimes you don't do your blog. What the fuck was that? It was the theme from The Bill, the British TV drama.

Yeah, okay. I think that my blog is fine, actually. Go on, tell your story. I would like you to apologise for saying that I phoned the blog in after that. No, I'm getting prepared for your story where you go to jail. Oh, no, that's fine. But that was fucking shocking. I need you to apologise for being a jerk about my blog. I apologize for being a jerk about the blog.

Thank you. It's not better. It's not better. So what happened? Turn that off, please. I demand the floor. Turn it off, please. I demand the floor. Turn it off. All right.

Running is very dangerous and I would never suggest anyone do it. No. Hard recommend to not run. So last week I was taking my dog Pippa for a walk. Yep. And she's just a little French bulldog. Yeah. She's got little legs. She's just a little french bulldog yeah she's got little legs she's got really little

tiny legs and at the moment in melbourne it's like raining a lot and there's lots of puddles and stuff so you actually kind of have to be very strategic about kind of like where you walk and how you go so you really gotta like pay attention pick your time dare i say do you need to keep an eye on the radar you do need to keep an eye on the radar and so is torbs relishing his responsibility um well so he was still asleep in bed so that's a no and so this particular day um and i was like oh i'll check because you know on um like the weather app in your iphone and it says like hour per hour what's kind of chance of rain and yeah right yep um anyway so i checked that and it said it wasn't going to rain for like another two hours. And I was like, oh, awesome.

I'll put my joggers on and we'll go. It's pretty cold at the moment as well. So I had like T-shirt and shorts on. And then I grabbed the bum bag. So we've got like a walking pipper bag. Right. And it's just like this bum bag. And it's got a little bottle of water, a stainless steel bowl in case she wants a drink.

Yep. And we find a tap or whatever. Well, it's better than every single time trying to find all the shit. Yeah. Just keeping it in a bag. Yeah, yeah. So literally it's in just like this Puma bum bag that like sits by the door. And so whenever either of us are taking her for a walk, it's got poo bags in it it's got treats in it it's got a squeaky toy it's got a ball like it's

got everything yeah it's full to the brim i'm sitting here going how are you fitting all that stuff in yeah so it's full to the brim of all this stuff that you could ever need when you're taking people for a walk yeah and then at the front it's got like another zip and that's like enough just enough room for like your keys and your phone. Right. Anyway, I put, pop that on and then I was like, oh, it's actually pretty cold. So I put my puffer jacket on, on top of like. Everything.

So I have shorts, t-shirt, bum bag, then my puffer jacket. Jacket over the top of the bum bag. Yeah. Because. But how will people know you're a drug dealer? Cause like, you know, when you wear a puffer jacket and they bum bag. Yeah, because. But how will people know you're a drug dealer? Because, like, you know when you wear a puffer jacket? Yeah. And they're huge.

Yeah. And, like, if you put a bag on top of a puffer jacket. Oh, no, it's like three Ks from you. No. Yeah. You need to get close by. You can't reach anything. Yeah, no, I agree with that.

Yeah, so I put it on the bottom. Anyway, so I had all of her stuff. We start walking. Fucking shocker, it starts to rain. The radar's wrong. Well, this was the Apple Maps weather. But that's what I use all the time oh sorry not apple maps weather like apple phone weather like you know just like the normal weather app yeah like that one with the cloud yeah that's usually trusty yeah well

it's normally pretty good and it has like the hourly forecast that's what i checked and it was like no like anyway so it started fucking raining and all of a sudden I'm like, okay, it's pissing down. I have to get Pippa off the ground. So I, like, hoiked Pippa. So you can run faster? Because I knew that she was just going to get soaking wet. Oh, of course, yep. So I, like, hoiked her up, like, under the tummy

and started, like, running towards home. So at this stage, knowing that the police get involved, it sounds like, it looks like you've stolen a dog. Yeah, it does. Because you've got a gangster big hoodie on. Yeah. You've picked up a designer dog. Yeah, I'm wearing a bum bag.

You're wearing a bum bag. So I've stolen, I've sold, I've sold, I've stolen a dog. I've sold some drugs and now I'm like off to you know and now you're at large on the run

it's like prison break right it's exactly like prison break except I wasn't trying to get into jail which is what they were doing well we don't know how the story ends yet

do we well yeah fair enough anyway so I start running and all of a sudden there's like this whoop whoop whoop whoop, whoop.

And I'm like, it's fucking pissing with rain. I'm trying to hold the dog. I'm trying to get home. And I'm like, what the fuck's going on? I thought that maybe one of the houses I was near, either they're like security thing or like there's heaps of apartments around me. I was like, maybe it's like a fire alarm or something. I'm like fucking freaking out. And then I realized that this is coming from my bag.

What? There's a fire alarm in your bag? From the bum bag. So like, do you know the safety feature on an iPhone where like if you press the side button heaps of times, it calls the police? Really? Yeah, it calls like triple zero. So like it's actually a really good feature because if you were on the tram or like being attacked or whatever, literally all you need to do is like quickly,

I think you press it eight times or something. Eight, Jesus. Well, don't do it because it does the thing. And you have to have it set up. So yours probably isn't set up on your thing anyway. Fine. But anyway, so it's like whoop, whoop, whoop to try and like count down so that if you were being attacked, like there's like a warning,

like that would scare people. Like if you were being robbed or something, that would obviously. Let's open the lights flash on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would like deter people and they would get scared and they'd run off, whatever. And how long did it take you to, like you said, you figured out it was you, but was there a moment where you're like, who else is that?

So it counts down like eight whoops. And on the fifth whoop, I realized that it was my phone. That's a lot of whoops. And I've got Pippa under my arm and I'm trying to unzip my jacket. Because it's on the inside. Because my bag's like on the inside of my thing. And then it's inside a zip inside the bum bag. Because I didn't have my phone in my hand or anything.

And then I realised, like, so obviously me, like, the really full bum bag, my keys, my phone and everything, obviously as soon as I started to run, the, like, bouncing of the bag, like, hit the button. The button that's tapping it away. Yeah, and it's, like, tapped the tapped the thing to like alert it to be like, yep, we need to fucking call the cops here. Anyway, I'm like one second away from it actually connecting. I like ripped my phone out of my bag and then it connected

because I was already trying to hang up and like cancel it and I very quickly hung up and all the time. Because you know pranking triple zero is a crime, right? It's an actual crime. Yes. It's wasting precious police resources. No, I do know that. There are people who need immediate help and they're being.

I know. I know. I know. And that's, I was so angry because I was like, oh my God, I didn't know. Obviously I wasn't playing silly buggers or anything. Like I genuinely didn't know that like. Well, does that hold up in court

though well probably not and then you need to give a statement so as soon as as soon as i hit deactivated they'd kind of like started to answer and i hit like close close close and then i was like oh my god should i call them back and be like oh my god sorry like the iphone thing or whatever because i didn't know if they were going to try and call me back because be like, oh my God, sorry, like the iPhone thing or whatever. Because I didn't know if they were going to try and call me back. Because what if I actually needed them and I got like disconnected? If someone called triple zero and it didn't, and it got cut out, I would hope they call back. Well, yeah.

Because you'd be like, oh my God. Are they in trouble? Has someone gotten them? They had a heart attack? Has their phone died? Are they, you know, they're in trouble and they can't get through or whatever. So after prank calling triple zero. Don't say i pranked them because i didn't so after shmank calling triple zero your first reaction was to prank call them again no i was like fuck should i call and then

i was like well there's no way i'll get the same operator because there's like hundreds of people working in the hive yeah i hope so not just like one old mate yeah i don't know who called do you need some yeah do you just ring? Yeah, sorry, mate. Me bloody bum bag's full. You missed your number, yeah. Oh, I couldn't read about it. Anyway, so I'm like going through all of these things in my mind,

my phone's in my hand like this. Yeah. And then it starts whooping again. Why's it whooping again? Are you still pressing the button? It goes, alerting your emergency contacts in three, two, one. Holy fuck. So I also have emergency contacts.

Hang on, fake news. This isn't true because I didn't receive a call. I hit it off before it could do it. Oh. Okay, because my phone didn't ring. So that's why. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My phone didn't ring.

So it goes like alerting emergency contacts in three, two, one. And I was like, well, don't fucking, can you imagine if you got that text and it's like, Tony Lodge has just called fucking emergency services. So it's obviously set up that as soon as you finish your call with emergency services, it like hits all your emergency contacts and says like, Tony's just been in contact with the police or the fire or whatever. She's decided you should know so when i get

that call or that text and it says g'day ryan as a trusted advisor in emergency contact um tony is just called triple zero yep what would you expect me to do in that situation call me straight away but if but if you're calling triple zero then you'll be like oh sorry mate um just let me call you right back yeah so it's like obviously when I disconnected the – because it connected the phone. Fuck, dude. So obviously then when you hang up from – Oh, wait.

Well, this is actually the theme from the 1988 version. Great. So then you're cancelling before the emergency calls kick in. Who are your other emergency contacts? So I have Torbs, obviously, my partner. My brother and sister, Jamie and Libby. How good are they going to be 7,000 kilometres away? Yeah, so Jamie's in Perth.

My sister Libby's in Darwin. Okay. Is there any further away in Australia you could get? Literally not. Oh, I've fallen over. Can you come help me up? Oh, I actually live in the Northern Territory. Yeah.

And then Jane, my BFF Jane, who's in Melbourne. She's my only emergency contact in Melbourne aside from Torbs. And me. And because we spend so much time together, you would assume that if there was an emergency, Torbs would be with me in the emergency. So he probably couldn't help. So what's the order of us four?

Us four? Brother, sister, Jane and I. No, Torbs. Torbs. But like you said, he's kind of a given. Well, there's four. There's four. I'm just looking it up for you.

How do you even set that up? Oh, I just like go through and do all these things when I get a new phone. Because that's like a real tiny thing to do. So show health data. Is that right? Hang on. Sorry. Live fucking brainstorm.

It's like. You've got too many. They don't fit it. So, you know when you try and get into someone's phone and you can't get into someone's phone and it says show medical ID? It's all in there. Oh, okay.

Anyway, so it goes Torbs, Jamie, Libby, and then Jane on my emergency contacts. You're on my favorites. I can't. That's so disrespectful. Is it? Yeah. No, look, you're on my favorites. You read out my favourites. I can't. That's so disrespectful. Is it? Yeah. No, look, you're on my favourites.

You read out my favourites. Alex, Jamie, Alex, Jace, Cam, Jane, Ryan. Okay. You're right at the top there. Yeah. And you said Alex and Alex and that's Torbs and Jack. Just so no one's like, who the fuck is that? Yeah. Jace is on there. That's probably an update. And you said Alex and Alex and that's Torbs and Jack. Just so no one's like, who the fuck is that?

Jase is on there. That's probably an update. Who in an emergency would be better value, me or Jane? Better value? Like what you would need in an emergency situation. You just say a lot of stuff and then you don't do it. So I feel like, can you imagine if I called you and I was like, oh, my God, something terrible has happened.

You'd be like, oh, my God, I'm on my way. And then half an hour later I call you and you go, oh, I didn't want to do that anymore. How fucking rude. You do do that though. In an emergency. You get all hyped up about stuff. In an emergency. You get all hyped up about stuff and then you go,

well, actually, maybe not. So I feel like imagine if I was like, oh, my God, my house is on fire. And then I was like, yeah, you coming? You're like, oh, I'm actually really tired or something. You know, imagine. In an emergency. That's what I'm saying. Wouldn't that be awful?

Okay. But so I'm not saying that it's like a good idea to do that. And I feel so bad that it happened. So you didn't call them back though? I didn't call them back. Thank God for that. And I feel like if they thought that I was actually pranking them, they can find you.

Find or find or both? Both. I reckon you'll get a call or a ticket. So I actually got a notification after and I swiped it away before I could take a screenshot. And it was like, we see that you contacted emergency services at blah time from the blah location. And does it say like, are you all good now? No, it was just kind of like, we can see that you accessed it. But I don't really know.

What are you supposed to do in that situation? I obviously didn't do it on purpose. It's like an emergency. It's like a safety precaution on the phone. Do you reckon they'd get a lot of people doing that? Surely. Like it would happen a lot. And surely if you caught and you went, oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

Like maybe the right thing wasn't to hang up. Yeah. Maybe I actually should have stayed on the line. But this is what they would have heard. It's raining. Yeah. I would have been like, oh, my line. But this is what they would have heard. It's raining. Yeah, I would have been like, oh, my God, sorry, my phone was in my bum bag. They would have been like, so you're a drug dealer? Okay, we'll send the police immediately.

Yeah, we're on our way. All right, I've got a You Love to See It, and it's probably one of my favourite You Love to See Its in a while. Oh. No offence to all the other You Love to See Its you've done recently. They'll understand. Oh. No offence to all the other You Love to Say's you've done recently. They'll understand. Okay. Earlier today, Bridget's been unwell.

We're getting close to the birth of the child. It's almost baby time. Yeah, and I had to speak to the maternal health nurse. And Tony Lodge goes, oh, sorry, I'll stop you right there. It's actually the maternity nurse. And I went, no, I actually think it's the maternal health nurse. And we Googled it, and I was fucking right, and Tony wasodge goes, oh, sorry, I'll stop you right there. It's actually the maternity nurse. And I went, no, I actually think it's the maternal health nurse. And we Googled it and I was fucking right and Tony was fucking wrong. And boy, does it feel fucking good.

Well, I think we were all right because what I was saying was still correct. No, it wasn't. You actually said, oh, you can have that. I said, I'll cop that. Sorry. And thanks for copying it. Yeah. But just like, just so that we're all squared away.

What I said was still right. No, I don't think so. And I think because I have had a not a stressful morning, but I've had to do some life admin with the doctors and stuff. And so I wouldn't say I was in a bad mood, but I was like a bit flat. And then to be right about something

feels fucking good. It's brought me right back. It would do. And this doesn't happen much. Tell me about it. Yeah. This doesn't happen much. So thank you.

You're welcome. I actually did that for you. Yeah. It was actually selfish. Yeah. Selfless. Selfless. The opposite of selfish.

See, you're off. Mate, have we switched roles? It's the emergency ping has really flapped me. That's my Tony impression. I didn't like that. What? The Tony impression. I'm flapped.

I'm on time. That's really mean. Oh, I'm Ryan. Oh, no. Straight home. All right. My love to say it is from Kelly Lishman in the Facebook group. After losing my dog a year ago, I finally started the process of adopting a new adorable companion.

Sorry about losing your dog, but very glad that you're on the road to recovery and trying to get a new one. I don't want to jinx it, but I'm now in the second stage of the process and get to meet him next week. Something that resonated with me and shocked me was to hear that he shares an oddity that my late dog also had, which is that he enjoys holding your hand with his mouth. And my dog used to love doing that.

So it feels like a real sign. Wish me luck. He's taking you for a walk. Yeah. That's cute as for a walk. Yeah. That's cute as fuck. Isn't that so sweet? So Kelly, you have to let us know if you get the pooch. Please let us know, Kelly.

Isn't that so exciting? That is adorable. I can't wait for that. Tomorrow, Tony. Mm-hmm. I know we just had a brouhaha about the maternal versus maternity nurse. Yeah. And, you know, obviously there's winners and losers. Sometimes.

But I think tomorrow it won't be Tony versus Ryan. It'll be back to Tony and Ryan because I've done something. Because I know there's a few specific things that shouldn't like you know, stereotypically turn someone on. But I've done something and when you find out what I've done,

we're going to have to fucking hold you back because you're going to be all up in my grill. It's going to have to fucking hold you back because you're going to be all up in my grill. Oh. Yeah. It's going to fill your drink up now, put it in the freezer overnight. Need some cold water. Phew. Okay, cool.

Wim Hof. Yeah, Wim Hof. Yeah, that's tomorrow on the show. Chat to you then. Love you, bye.