Toni and Ryan - Seven Rotisserie Chickens

Episode Date: September 3, 2024

I mean - how many is too many when it comes to a cooked chook? Love u xoCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author, bestselling Dr. Author, Tony Lodge. Wow. I sounded like a ghost, which I enjoyed. Or Robert Williams in Mrs.

Doubtfire. Hello! We are calling San Antonio in Texas and we're calling Big Kev. For a second when you said we're calling San Antonio, I was like, sounds lovely. Who's he? San Antonio. Hello. Hello! Who's he? Stan Antonia Hello?

Hello! Kev, how you doing? It's Tony and Ryan Holy shit I know, it's a huge day for us as well We can't believe we're on the phone to Big Kev Big Kev Big Kev, that's right Now, Tony, you might not remember this

But a few months ago One of my love to see it was actually about Kevin's daughter, Frankie, who had just come out of hospital. She'd been in there for four months and she was doing well. How's she going now, Kev? She's doing really well. She's thriving? She's about to start walking.

And she's thriving. That's right. Oh, that's awesome to hear, Kev. Thank you for sharing that with us and keeping us updated. That's awesome. How old is Frankie now? She is 15 months old. Oh, bless her.

I think she's just a few months older than me. Yeah, just a little bit. It's about the same, yeah. But I was going to say, Kev, you kind of get excited for when they start walking and then they do start walking and it's fucking crazy. So don't rush it. Let it happen.

Be excited, but also be warned. Oh, yeah, definitely. When Pippa started walking all over. Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy. Getting those four legs all in order. Kev, will you approve today's episode? Absolutely.

Good on you, Kev. Legend. Hey, it's Kevin from San Antonio, Texas, and I approve this podcast. I don't want to get ahead of ourselves. It's only Wednesday, but our Hawkers are in the fucking finals this Friday night. Tony's first year as a Hawk, and how does it feel? It actually feels amazing, and I don't want to say too much, but I'm about to, like I always do.

This is because of me. They needed me all this time. Not due to the hard work of the guys in the midfield? I think I've just given them a real good rev up. Not because we've restructured our back line and doing really well in defense. What did you say about my back line? Okay, we'll get to them soon. We'll get to them soon.

They probably do think that, to be fair. I think so. First, though, when it comes to the best gags on the internet. Don't say gags on the internet. Are we the type of community in the Greens that dad's naming votes is right up there? I love to see that. Do you love to see that?

I love to see dad's naming votes. Where do you stand? I love a pun. Do you know what I mean? So this is my fucking area. Where do you stand on funny pun-based business names, like a bakery called Bradley Cooper? Is that pretty good?

That's fucking funny. Where do we stand? And this is what I want to get to today. Where do we stand on hilarious Wi-Fi router names? I like it. Pretty fly for a Wi-Fi. I mean, it's genius, isn't it? It really is.

So, Malin posted in the Tony and Ryan Facebook group going, guys, we've got a new modem, new router, whatever. Amazing. Can you help a sister out? And can I just say the Tarpers have helped her out. See, I think that there's a bit of brouhaha, like especially if you live in an apartment building because everybody comes up for you.

Like when you live in a house, I mean, I just live in a duplex, so I don't know what it's actually like. But have duplexes out in your country town. Yeah, yeah. Bit embarrassing, isn't it? But. Yeah, so you get your neighbours. But you don't really see any others.

Yeah, okay. But like when you're in an apartment, there's, like, 50 others that you can look at. That's a good time. Yeah. Nikita, who's the tapper? Hi, Nikita. Hardly know her. Whose is Wu-Tang Lan?

Wu-Tang Lan. That is funny. Tori's Silence of the Lambs. Hang on. Oh, no. I brought up Silence of the Lambs. I was going to say. I don't know if Tori is aware. That was just cut off twice within the last week.

I don't know if Tori is aware, but there are, in fact, zero lambs or lands in that movie. Zero stars. Silence of the Lambs. That is fucking funny. Land is a whole other word to work with, isn't it? Like I wouldn't have thought to include land, but ours is just called tarp.

We should take one of these and go with the funny ones. What about at the end of these we'll make a short list and we'll vote? We'll come up with our own. Actually, this is one that Adam would like to submit because it's tarp related. Okay, great. Monique de Rauter. Oh!

That is amazing. Monique de Rauter. Madeline says, Rauter? I hardly know her. Now, Jennifer Cummings, her one is called Bill Clintonet.

That's a really clever pun. Do you remember when Bill Clintonette, Jennifer Cummings on that intern? Were you allowed to say that? Were you allowed to say that? We all watched the documentary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've seen the dress. But did you also like when you were downloading music from LimeWire

or whatever, did you ever go, oh, my God, I'm downloading the new Katy Perry song or whatever, and then instead of the song it would be like, I did not have sexual relations with that woman. Like it was the Rick Roll 2.0. Yes, yeah, yeah, but it would be like Katy underscore Perry underscore Firework underscore MP3 dot dot 2012 whatever underscore, and then instead of it being do you ever feel, it would be like katie__perry__firework__mp3.2012, whatever, underscore.

And then instead of it being, do you ever feel, it would be like, I did not. Did that ever happen to you? Oh, I hope that wasn't me. A lot's happened in the last 30 seconds. Can people please confirm whether that happened to them or not? Please don't. That's a huge part of internet culture.

Now, a lot of people have messaged different variations of this, but there's a lot of people that their home Wi-Fi is called, like, police surveillance van or FBI surveillance or whatever. What? Just so when other people in the apartment building go to, like, find the Wi-Fi, they see, like, and then they see the van across the street. They go, fuck me in the face. But also, as if that's what the police would call it,

they're probably the ones rolling around that are called pretty fly for a Wi-Fi. You know what I mean? But you're not a fan of the like surveillance, just a freak. No, because I don't like being spooked. Okay. I don't. That's not my area. However, like if you were trying to spook someone that you live next to,

like pretty funny. It's good. It would freak me out though. Not because I'm doing anything. What are you doing no what are you doing i'd hate to click on there and go to the websites you go to i'm not doing anything weird dark web lasses.org is that actually a website sophie google it on your, Google it on your computer. Don't Google that, Sophie. Do it on your computer.

No, it's still our internet. Oh, yeah. Shit. Don't ignore what I said. You've already mentioned Pretty Fly for Wi-Fi. It's a classic. Evan says, should I sing it? Please.

Every day I'm buffering. That's made me LMFAO. That's good for me. Laura, her Wi-Fi router is called Tony and Wi-Fi. I love that. That's amazing. Tony and Wi-Fi. Yeah. Should that be on the shortlist?

I'm honoured. And finally, Hot Ash from Perth, who is no longer a dot comrade but a real life friend. A real life friend. Hers is called Moa. Bye. That's fucking good Yeah

Oh fuck We've got I've got to come up with some Some for hours What's on your shortlist? I reckon Or should we just We'll reconvene

And then we'll post in the group Reconvene I reckon we'll post it in the group Or on Patreon or something And we'll get people to vote If also Maybe if you've got any more Send them through

Yeah pop them on Today's episode Or if you go to Malin's, but there's literally hundreds there. Is there? Yeah. It's a good time. I love that. It's a good time.

People deserve a round of fucking applause for that. That's amazing. Malin! Bye. Hey, it's Kevin from San Antonio, Texas, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champions. Sorry, I'm still stuck on the Wi-Fi names. Grace Applebum.

Okay, Grace. Is that short for Applebutton jeans? Boots with the fur. Taylor Husted. Good on you, great. Is that short for apple bottom jeans? Boots with the fur. With the fur. Taylor Husted. Good on you, Taylor. Red Death 1909.

Keep it light. Julia Erickson. Good on you, Jules. Brian McCarthy and Ariel Close. Not Ariel Far though. No. Ariel Narrow, the fall. Will narrow the font.

Oh, we've lost Sophie. We've lost Sophie. We've lost Sophie. She's an Ariel Bold fan. She won't have a bar of that. She won't have a bar of that. Guys, our Hawks are in the finals. Our Hawks are in the finals. Friday night against the Bulldogs.

Now. Can I just. No, we need to start this right. Tell everyone what you've just ordered on the internet. You're talking about that expensive jacket? That fucking cool jacket. That bomber jacket. It's fucking cool.

It's fucking awesome. It's fucking mean. It's fucking cool. When it arrives, we'll get Ryan to do a little fashion show and we'll post that in our Patreon. We'll get you to do a little slutty walk in your little jacket, nothing else. Imagine your poo bearing in that jacket.

Let's see your little doodles out, but you've got the jacket on. Why are you talking about poo bearing in a Hawks jacket? At the MCJ with 99,000 of my friends. No, no, no, we'll just do that at home. We'll just do that at home in private. My house, though. Is Torp still poo bearingbearing on the regular? He is, yeah.

Yeah. I love it. It's so funny. Do you know this term, Sophie? Yeah, I can make the connection. But that's what Torb does at home, just T-shirt and that's it. The term is really common, like lots of people do. I don't think it is.

No, undies? No. Oh. I love and because he's really yeah it means the t-shirt doesn't get anywhere near yeah he got these really long legs he looks like he looks like that meme of chloe grace holding the pizza you know hang on hang on has torbs and Pooh Bear been even in the same place at the same time? Because they have a lot of similarities. Those two and the nude guy we saw in the UK window.

Yeah. They both love honey. Sweet honeys. Lovehoney.net. Not sponsored. Anyway, yeah. They're in the finals. They're going to be in the GF the GF I'm putting it out there

I put a poll on Twitter of all places You gotta stop going on Twitter I actually do It's so upsetting Where is the best place to watch Your team in a big game Oh yes Is it at the game Where is the best place to watch your team in a big game? Oh, yes. Is it at the game?

Is it at the pub with friends? Or is it at home with friends and food? Can I give my answer? Yeah, I want you to actually order them. Oh, like rank them? Yep, yep, yep. Because I think all three are great, but when you start comparing, you start, you know, you really got to look deep inside yourself.

Because you get different things from each of them. Yeah. Like each offer a different thing. I'm going to say bang out right at the top, my favourite, at home with friends and food. Everyone fucking pile into the lounge room. Yep. Imagine watching the footy on my new bench seat.

That's pretty good imagine that if i got um barbecue sauce from the wings on your table though mate that's what chucks are for isn't it well chucks like little chuck norris you just fly kick that sauce right off there wow internet culture for what 2006 yeah that's before the internet was even a thing um tell me your best Chuck Norris joke. Oh, the one with the beard, about the beard? Like if your mum doesn't have a beard, you've got two dads or if your dad doesn't have a beard, you've got two mums or whatever, that Chuck Norris thing.

What's that got to do with Chuck Norris? Does it not? Where's the Chuck Norris part? Well, I just thought because he has a beard. I thought that was related. Do you know the Chuck Norris joke? I don't look on the internet a lot. I don't really know. Anyway.

Move along. I don't really know. If your mum has a beard, she's your mum? No, if your dad doesn't have a beard, you've got two mums. Ah. But I don't think that has anything to do with it. That was just an old internet joke. I'm embarrassed.

So do you guys want to come and hang out at my house and watch the footy? Okay. No, we're busy. No, no, no. You get fucking barbecue sauce. Big boy, we'll wipe that shit off. Who cares? Thank you.

Number two? Then would be at the game. Yep. Like at the ground. Yep. Because I love that. Yeah, the atmosphere at all. The pub would be my last one because it's not like.

Not something you'd do on your wheelhouse. When I moved to Melbourne, the first year I moved to Melbourne, grand final weekend, Torbs was away. He was doing like mixing a band somewhere. He was like on tour with some band. Yeah. And it was just super hot and cool. But so I was alone in Melbourne.

Was wearing pants on the tour. I was alone in Melbourne on grand final weekend. And I was like, oh, my God, what am I like? The opportunities are endless. Yeah. And so I went to a pub like and went with a bunch of friends and watched the footy. And that was awesome.

Yeah. It's not that it isn't great. It just would not be my top two. The results from Twitter, which I don't know why that's where it was posted. Yeah. It's not that it isn't great. It just would not be my top two. The results from Twitter, which I don't know why that's where it was posted. Yeah. Number one, at home with friends and food, 58%. Amazing. Second, at the pub with friends, 23%.

And third and last was at the game, 19%. Interesting. I reckon the media, like as in- What's your ranking? Sorry. I reckon because the media is so good now. When you're at the game, you don't get the replays and the commentary and the facts and so it's sort of like it's.

Yeah. No, it's awesome. But, yeah, the TV is so good. But the vibe is just unmatched. Yeah. Like there's something just awesome about yelling and screaming and carrying on. But I'll do that at anywhere though.

Yeah. So I watched the Hawks win a grand final. I've seen the Hawks in a few grand finals in pubs and they were like some of the great days. Yeah. Like I would see this one pub. Everybody's in the same vibe. Yeah.

When everyone's watching the game at the bar, it's a lot different to like you being the one person that gives a fuck and everyone else is. And you're the bar. It's a lot different to like you being the one person that gives a fuck and everyone else is. And you're the asshole. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think at home with friends and food is also pretty elite. And I think that's you just. So Tom Wood, good mate of mine, he goes to the dogs, the other team.

The unmentionables. He's going to fly down to Melbourne. So for this Friday. For this Friday. And he goes, I'll get us tickets. And I go, great. And then it sells out in like four minutes. There were people lining up at the MCG to buy tickets,

which like doesn't happen. Crazy. Yeah. And he goes, oh, I've already booked the tickets. And I was like, perfect. Come on over. Oh, you're joking. Yeah.

And he goes, oh, the $100 I saved on tickets, we'll spend on seven rotisserie chickens and a bottle of scotch. Oh, I'm fucking real. Swap one of those rotisserie chickens. For a Tony Lodge? For like three bags of like really fresh like buns. Oh. Like real fresh bread.

Hot chicken sambos. Yeah, you're fucking right. Mayo and mustard. And a Tony Lodge, yeah. Okay. But seriously, we were like. And a tiny lodge, yeah. Okay. But seriously, we were like, the tickets are so expensive, the food's so expensive. I'm like, mate, the beers are so cheap at my place.

You know what I mean? Yes. The fire's on. Yes. He's the same. He's got a young kid and he's like, oh, you know. It's just a bit easier. Yeah.

Also, it's the same like with leaving Taylor Swift. Was it amazing? Yeah. But getting in and getting out almost like pips the experience. So I reckon like at least when you're at home, you're not going to be surrounded by some assholes who are like kicking off and being cockheads. Lining up on a packed train, getting pissed on by someone.

Yeah, like I love going to the game, but I reckon like sitting at home. I was like, Tony, you stay at my place. We'll just settle right in. We'll have a great time. That's amazing. So when's that Friday night? Yeah, you going to come around? Fuck yeah.

You going to bring Pippa? Yep. You going to bring a bulldog to the Hawks versus Bulldogs game? Yeah. Okay. She'll be wearing Hawks merch though, so basically it just balances her out. She's neutral. She's neutral.

Good luck to the Hawks, though. Yeah. Get around them. Yeah. Very exciting, I feel. Now, I've got to love to see it here. Amazing. It's a tough word out there.

It is. Students at the Wallaroo Primary School in South Australia have a new person on the faculty. They have Hugo, the wellbeing dog. He's on the staff. And there's Hugo and one of the students there. Aren't they adorable? Oh, my God.

Let me read this article from the ABC. That is so cute. The principal said, We certainly notice on the days Hugo's here that the children are very happy to come over and visit him if they need support, if they get upset or anxious. We've had a few kids who have recently been getting a bit overwhelmed and a bit like, you know, a bit like breathy and a bit short of breath. They're allowed to leave the class and just go spend a minute or two with Hugo

and we're noticing that the student's breath is coming back to a good pace and they're better able to regulate their emotions when Hugo is there. As well as playing with Hugo, the students are learning about the responsibilities that come with being a pet owner. The students' responsibilities include taking Hugo out to the yard during breaks, bringing him back to the office after playtime, ensuring he has food and water and is clean and safe. And there he is, water guy Hugo.

Three days a week, got a good contract. That is so cute. Must work from home the other two days. I really wish that I'd gone first. Is yours not as beautiful and wholesome as Hugo? So if I show you Hugo there, have a look at him. So fucking cute. Oh, that is

beautiful. He's beautiful Hugo, isn't he? Go on, what do you got, Tony? If you mention something about a constable, I swear. It's not far off. What do you call a deaf gynecologist? Are you doing a joke?

Are you allowed to say it? And look at Hugo's face and that six-year-old that's hugging him and then say that joke again. Oh, my God. What do you call... What do you call... Look at Hugo, the little dog. Beautiful baby.

Know what was your question? What do you call it? Deaf gynecologist. Hugo, fuck yourself. A lip reader. Kalos sent that in after all the gynecologist chat and the ta-da the other day. Lip reader. Lip reader.

But you don't use sounds. No, but did you say he was deaf? Yeah. But you don't use ears to be a gynecologist. Well, no, I think it's just like a joke about the lips. You can just do the job, though. No, but it's just like a joke about the lips. You could just do the job, though. No, but it's just like a joke about the lips, I guess. Isn't it?

Like the fanny lips. Yeah, it's just a joke. Have we said that through? Kayla Dix. That's not her name. That is not her name. It is. That is not her name.

On Patreon, yeah. Kayla Dix. Love to see Hugo though. I think it's really, really funny. I don't think we will be. Actually, that's probably a no from me. And I think the longer we sit here, the not worse it will be. I'm so sorry.

Kayla said, that was so silly. Should we edit my bit out? Should we edit my bit out? Should we edit my bit out? I don't think so. Can we go? I think we should just think about what we've done. Think about if that's what's best. Think about all the times that you've done a crook as fuck.

You love to say it. No, never. Couldn't think of one. Couldn't think of one. Me either. I'm just thinking about Hugo and how much I'm going to need a wellness dog this afternoon after that. All right.

Well, love you so much. We'll be back tomorrow. Up the hookies on Friday night. Be careful what you're upping when you're talking about deaf gynos. Love you so much. Bye. Love you. See you Bye. Love you. See you later.

Love you, bye. Normal or nah tomorrow? Maybe. Maybe. Normal or nah podcast? Nah. Love you, bye.