Toni and Ryan - Shareholder Update - from Hollywood

Episode Date: May 19, 2022

Very exciting news from us (which we accidentally gave away yesterday and Ryan told heaps of people lol) but an exciting update nonetheless!!! Love you so much!!! Toni xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to, are we going to call it a shareholder's update or a shareholder's meeting? A shareholder's update because the update is available for those who want the information, but attendance is not as compulsory as last time. As compulsory as last time. And we may have, what's that thing, like not buried the lead? What's the opposite of when you give away what's about to be in the update yesterday? Fucked it up.

Yes. That's a technical business term. Yes, it is. I learnt that in economics. Oh, do you know, I learnt all about economics from Torbs the other day and now I'm just a fucking, I'm full bottle. I learnt all about inflation, et cetera. So because that's in the news in Australia because the election

and cost of living, I think it's pretty similar around the world with inflation and interest rates. So I said something and Bridget goes, oh, but wouldn't it if the interest rates or said something? And I was like, oh, yeah, actually, you're right. And then we sat there in silence for about five seconds and Bridget just looks over and goes, did I just school you in economics? I mean, it would have been a beautiful moment.

I wish I'd seen it. Then we fist bumped each other and laughed. I was like, fuck yeah, you did. Oh, like a couple of bros. Broget. Broget. I like Broget. Yeah, me too.

She won't. She will hate it. Sorry, Bridget, you'll be listening in the car right now. Okay. Be safe on the way to work. Thanks. I love you. Why did you pull a face?

Well, that is not required at the shareholders' afternoon. Okay, my mistake, my mistake. We did set a challenge. We did. At the shareholders' meeting. We said if we got to 2,000 Patreonions by the end of the month, that's me like. Oh, gesture to the crowd. No, no, that's me pointing to you because you've got the.

Yeah, I do. Oh, you want me to say this now? Yeah. Okay. Well, we said that. We don't rehearse our shareholder updates. As you can tell. If we get to 2,000 Patreonions, this is what's on offer. Okay, so base level TARPA

would receive the ability to approve. Sorry, I'm really not doing a good job. Are you nervous? Is it the corporate setting that's throwing you? I am kind of nervous. I'm excited and I can't get my words out. So TARPA is the baseline tier on Patreon. What are they going to receive?

They will be able to sign up to approve the podcast. They'll be able to sign up to approve the podcast. They'll be able to vote on the movies that we watch on a Thursday and we'll love you forever. Yes. Pretty standard stuff. Which is the same as what we're already offering. Yes. But now it's where it gets juicy.

What do the exclusive tapas get? All right. If you sign up to be an exclusive tapa, which is our middle tier, everything that you get as a normal tapa plus the invitation to the monthly shareholder meetings, which will be like a live stream Zoom chat or something. Where people can ask questions, we're going to all hang out and we're going to do it in different time zones because people are from everywhere. And I said to Ryan before that maybe we could have a sleepover one night and wake up at

like 2am and do it in like a crazy time zone, like in Europe or something. Also, they'll have access to my weekly blog. Yeah, which is very exciting. I am excited about this. I just said weekly, but I think it might be monthly. Maybe fortnightly. Monthly, mate. No, no.

Weekly? Yeah. Fucking hell. Okay. All right. And also a couple of, like, BTS videos and other stuff that we'll kind of work on. And won't be available elsewhere. Yeah.

Like, it's not stuff we're going to cross cross post on our Instagram and then also put in the Patreon. It'll be legit. It'll be exclusive and it'll probably be stuff that like, because Tony and I fuck up sometimes or we laugh or we tell a joke that we're like, we fucking can't put that in. This is where that'll go. No one out us. No one snitch.

The thing is, is that the stuff that doesn't make it is always awful. Yeah. It's either awful. And now you get the awfulness. But sometimes it is always awful. Yeah. It's either awful or incontinent. And now you get the awfulness. But sometimes it's awful, like, oh, Ryan, like, no. Why did you attach my name to this? Because it's me saying that to you. As a great example of the terribleness, me saying,

Ryan, that was fucking terrible. And also, this is the second most exciting part of information. If you sign up to be a Champion Tapper, you get everything that we've already mentioned, plus Champion Tapa shout-outs, which I do like after the little break in the podcast every day, a personalised video when you sign up, which is a fucking mistake, and a TAP-branded Frank Green water bottle for free.

For free. Which is fucking so cool. And, Toni? Yes? Have you this week seen a few of the designs? I have. Don't give it away, but just tell me. Give her a quick review.

It's very us. It looks good, doesn't it? It's very us. I'm quite, I'm pretty pleased. Yeah, it's very good. With the artwork. I love it. Yeah, I'll say no more.

Okay, so that's what's on offer if we get to 2,000. But the main thing. Plus, we would move to five episodes a week. So Tony and Ryan, Monday to Friday, every fucking day. And not a cop-out episode like this, like a proper actual episode. How dare you? Sorry, a minute ago I was like, oh, how do I read? So people are like, fucking hell, I'm not signing up.

We will have organised before we start recording that when I point, I will continue speaking. I wish someone could have seen that. That was very funny by you. That was very good. A bit of physical company. Yeah, and it doesn't matter what tier and it doesn't matter if you sign up or not, if we get to 2,000 total, everyone gets five episodes a week

for free. Yes. So at the moment in the Patreon, it's like there's five episodes a week. Sometimes we'll do like a bonus episode. That will be no longer. Everybody will just get the five episodes a week in the main feed, which is fucking awesome. And that will be replaced in the Patreonion with the weekly,

with the monthly shareholder like Zoom or live stream or whatever. So we're looking good. We said as well that if we got to it that it would probably enable us to free up some time potentially. Maybe we would need a few more hours on the clock. And so I have something very exciting. Did you want to say that before the exciting bed? Oh, no, absolutely not.

Please do the bed. The music. You know how in Hollywood when there's- I've never been. Like as in movies. Oh, sorry. I'm sorry. As you can tell, we literally have not rehearsed a single thing of this.

When I explain what I explain, you'll realise how fucking dumb you sound. As in how much you miss that it doesn't matter if you've been to Hollywood or not. No, but you said- No, you're right. I should have just said in movies. You know how in movies- Like in Hollywood. Like in Hollywood.

How it's always, when it's the big movie of the summer, it's always like, this summer. And then every season it's like, oh, it's the movie of the winter. Coming this winter. Yeah. So that's a Hollywood movie thing. Yes. Anywhere in the world. Yeah, I've seen it on the TV.

So in podcasting and radio and audio. I'm not familiar. You don't say this summer. Yeah. You just have to say where you're from. What? Do you? Yeah. That's the equivalent where you're from. What? Do you? Yeah.

That's the equivalent in the audio land. What do you mean? So if I said in Melbourne. Well, not even. Are you ready? Yeah. No, I'm not. What?

Are you ready? Yes. Melbourne. And then wait for the next big bang. Wait, wait, wait. Here we go. Oh, my God. With some massive news from Tony Felicia Lodge, Melbourne.

Well, just letting you know, Melbourne. Do I have to talk about that for the whole time? No, no, just the start. Okay. I have quit my job. It is in Melbourne. Yeah, it is in Melbourne. Yes. I have quit my job! It is in Melbourne. Yeah, it is in Melbourne.

Yes. Congratulations, though. Yay, thank you. How did it feel? It was a bit sad. Yeah. Really scary. I have a really amazing job that I love.

It wasn't an easy choice, to be honest. Like, it was really difficult. And also, I've had a full-time job for, like, ever. A long time, yeah. I've never not had a full-time job. So it's really scary. But I am so fucking excited and can't believe that people, like, want to see it. It's crazy. And so today is the 19th of May.

We said by the end of the month. I can confirm, as of now, we needed 2,000 Patreonions. Yes, we set you the challenge. 2,492 Patreons, and there's still a week and a half to go. You love to say that. Well, you know what? I do love to say that. I am genuinely excited.

But can I just flag something? Yeah. Tony and I have so many personalised videos to do. Yep. And as you would have seen in the Patreonion, I am now the international shipping manager of the Frank Green Water Bottles. Yes. We were expecting, honest, what do you reckon we were expecting?

I think I was probably expecting 500 max. Yeah, I would have thought 300. Yeah, like I was going generously. I was like, oh, maybe we can order a few extra to sell or like to give us prizes or something. That is not fucking happening anymore. There is no fucking way. So yesterday.

I'm going to have to find another job to pay for the water bottles. Yesterday I spoke to Frank Green and I said. Did you? What was he like? The great man, the original. Mr. Green. I said I'd you? What was he like? The great man. The original. Mr. Green. I said, I'd like to purchase a couple of water bottles. A couple of?

Yep. And they go, oh, cool. Two, three, four, what colour? And I was like, I need 1,500 water bottles. Fuck off. Yeah. Did they do a poo in their pants? Like, I just did?

Well, the sales guy was just like, oh, he's my monthly commission. Yeah. God, I am getting married. Yeah. The real winner out of Tony and Ryan is Frank Green. And I'm not joking about this, and I don't want that to be a flex because it actually was terrifying because we didn't really think about this in advance.

Yeah. I've organised for Australia, Asia, and New Zealand Oceania. Oceania. Oceania. How doania. Oceania. How do I say that word? I think that's right. We will have a Melbourne distribution centre. What the fuck?

For Canada, North America and I think South America. I have organised a Chicago distribution centre. Chicago. What the fuck? That's how I said it to the guy. And I'm not sure yet if Europe and Africa is either going to come out of poland or the uk but i've had to i'm choosing between these two warehouses because there's so many of you fucking idiots who signed up for this patreon yeah we got to figure out how to do it um i guess the biggest

thing is now please stop signing up because we can't do any more videos and we can't afford any more. About 50 to 80 people got a video on the weekend and a few more will this weekend. Probably about 100 actually. Yeah, we're churning them out. They're coming. They're on the way. They're coming.

I promise they're coming. You will not be left out. My friend Marley is in Mexico. Yeah, hi, Marley. And she messaged and said, just sign up to be a champion tarper. Oh, tell her to not do it. Yeah, and she said, I'm coming to Melbourne next year. You don't have to send the bottle.

I'll come and pick it up. Oh, okay. Well, we've already organised it. It's already on the way to fucking Mexico, Marley. I mean, the gesture was genuinely lovely. And lots of people in Melbourne have said, oh, happy to pick it up. And I said, hey, thanks for the offer. To be honest, people in Melbourne, not the biggest concern.

Do you want me to tell you who is the concern? Please. So I don't know if you know this, but like in the back end of like Spotify, we can see where people listen. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, my God. Last week we had nine listeners in Uzbekistan.

Uzbekistan. Is that how you say it? Uz, yep. Okay, great. 19 in Bolivia. Wow. 21 in Mali, which is that it's a different Mali to the one who's in Mexico. I thought there was only one Mali in Mexico.

No, she's in Mexico, but the country of Mali, right in the middle of Africa. Uganda, 232, including two water bottles are on the way to Uganda. Really? And when I spoke to the shipping guy, because they're, like, very precise, like, with Canada we can get it in two days and blah, blah, blah, Melbourne within, you know, the end of business day. And I was like, what about Uganda? He's like, we kind of just send it and hope it gets there.

Oh, well, there's 232 just going to be. That's not 232 bottles. That was 232 listens. Oh, so I thought that was 232 bottles. 232 people listened. It's only a handful of bottles, but it's still some. Yeah. And random, this is the most random.

16 people last week listened to Tony and Ryan from Madagascar. I like to move it, move it. We like to move it, move it. She like to move it, move it. He like to move it. Bam, bam, bam, ba-da-da. Do you know what I'm doing? The movie Madagascar?

Yeah. Okay. Do you reckon that would piss them off? Probably. Sorry to the 16 people. 16 less people listening now. Hopefully none of them wanted a water bottle. So, I mean, what a, to be honest, a fabulous problem to have.

It's not even a problem, just got to figure it out. Yeah. But Frank Green is the winner and the loser is Tony's former employer and everyone else is kind of just in the middle somewhere. Yes, everyone else is just going to find their fate. I do want to give a massive shout out to you because over the past two- Are you being nice to me? Fuck off.

I'm always nice to you. This is surprising. This is unfamiliar. Get fucked. There we go. There she is. Over the past two or three weeks, you have been on the blower 24-7, getting people fucking.

We actually. This might surprise you, but we weren't organised for this. We did not realise, like, the undertaking this would be or, like, come to be. We just were like, how fucking hard is it going to be? Quite hard, actually. There's quite a few logistical things. We had to register as an employer in the US so we could ship things and not get stolen by customs.

Yeah. Didn't see that coming. We've had to register for sales tax in the Americas. Like you just, I had no fucking idea. So first of all, tip my hat to people in e-commerce because fuck that. Yeah, fuck that right up. It is awful and a lot of work. But you have done, like you are the MVP of this whole thing.

Oh, no. Like you have really, this, you know that I don't like admin in this kind of, I don't like learning stuff. Nope. And you have really learned a lot of stuff and done it and I'm very proud of you. Thank you. Well, And you have really learned a lot of stuff and done it and I'm very proud of you. Thank you. Well, thank you for saying that.

First of all, I didn't know either that I would be forced to learn all of this stuff. And you're like, well, I know Tony isn't going to fucking do it, so I'm going to figure it out. I took a term off my MBA. Yeah. And I practically haven't taken a term off. I'm just doing an informal elective in international shipping.

You should ask if it counts towards a credit or something. Yeah. Oh, hi. I bought 1,500 water bottles. Does that count as a subject? On my podcast. Does that count as a subject? No.

No, it doesn't. Believe it or not, I'm a white middle-aged guy with a podcast. I'm white and middle class, though. Who guessed it? We've got 16 people that listen in Madagascar, and then they go, I like to move. It's quite a big deal. We've got 16 people that listen in Madagascar and then they go,

I like to move and move. And thank you, obviously, to you for listening and signing off. It's pretty crazy. We are going five days a week. We're doing all that extra stuff. We're doing Frank Green water bottles. What aren't we doing? What aren't we doing, Tony?

Well, we came up with some other cool merch ideas that might come later in the piece because now that we've got it figured out. Now that I know what Shopify is and how to use it. Yeah. Oh, actually, sorry, that's one thing I wanted to add. Oh, what? What? I don't want to accept your MVP trophy until they arrive. Oh, finish the task first.

I'll be like, let's not take praise until they actually fucking turn up, you know what I'm saying? Because it's going to take a few weeks to build. I don't want to count my chickens before they hatch. Yeah. I don't want to let anyone down as well, but. It's all Ryan's fault if it doesn't arrive. Well, yes, yes, that as well.

But we've prided ourselves over the past eight months of doing this podcast that we have a podcast and not a business. We have pride of that. We have been accused of having a business. We have and we don't. Well, we didn't. Well, now we do. Are you saying it?

We have a business. How dare you? We had to for the sales tax. We did. So we've had to start. We've had to start a business. So we are no longer allowed to say we don't have a business. It's not a big business because we do.

So I just wanted to be up front with everybody, be transparent. We don't like to lie. No, that's not who we are. We do have a business. It's not a big business because we do. So I just wanted to be up front with everybody, be transparent. We don't like to lie. No, that's not who we are. We do have a business. Yeah. So. That really fucked me up. I actually said that to the guy who was like, yep,

here's how you register for sales tax in the US with customs. You just put your business number in. And I went, fuck. We've been saying all this time. Yeah, and he goes, because he goes, oh, why is that a, he goes, is that a problem? Because he saw my face kind of go. On Zoom. Yeah. Yeah. And he goes, oh, why is that a – he goes, is that a problem? Because he saw my face kind of go, oh. On Zoom?

Yeah. Yeah, and he goes, oh, is that a problem? I was like, no, it's just we were accused of having a business and prided ourselves on not having a business, and now it appears that we will in fact have to have a business. It's just the longest running gag ever. I can't believe you didn't say to the guy, oh, sorry, don't you listen to my podcast.

Sorry. Were you not aware? Someone else. One of the shipping guy' girlfriend was a listener. Oh. Yeah, and so he gave a bit of like. Write that. She can have a bottle.

Yeah, she can, but he fucking won't because he was like, oh, like I hadn't heard of it, but like my girlfriend did. So I guess like it's, yeah. Oh, fuck you. We do have a business. Yeah, fuck you. In three minutes we will have a business. Also, fuck you. In three minutes, we will have a business. Also, I've had family and friends reach out and say like,

oh, am I going to get a bottle? And I said, fuck no. Fuck no. Hayden Dibb yesterday. Oh, our photographer. One of our mates who, yeah, is a photographer. He goes, oh, and he took the photos of us that you see on the socials and stuff. I was like, oh, we're doing these drink bottles.

He's like, oh, great. I'll have to, you know, I'll have to grab one. I was like, well, you can fucking pay for it. Yeah. Oh, well, here's the link to our Patreons in the show notes. You can go and pick one up from Madagascar. And then he started singing the song. Might be gone rogue.

I like to move it, move it. But no, obviously friends and family can get fucked. That goes without saying. Absolutely not. If my mum thinks she's getting a drink bottle. Same. Oh, fuck. No.

Okay. All right, well, thanks for coming. No, thank you so much for listening. For loving the podcast, Sick. It makes us so happy. We cannot fucking wait to go five eps a week. So as per the original plan, in July, that's when that'll kind of start up. We're going to figure out how we can do it, find some space,

free up some time, all that jazz. Chicago! I like to... It's been a musical episode. It really has. You know when you're watching a TV show and there's like a random musical episode? Yeah. This is that episode of the podcast.

I hate that episode. Okay, cool. See ya. Meow. Meow to gas gas. I like to meow it, meow it. Shareholder meeting adjourned. Love you, bye.

Adjourned now. Love you, bye. Adjourned. Love you, bye. Now. Love you, bye.