Toni and Ryan - Should She Call the Cops?

Episode Date: June 10, 2024

Confessions and SNITCHING and shoes. Love ya xoxox Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge. Hello. We are calling Madison. Madison Square Garden. Who lives in, uh, he's okay.

Get ready. An excellent Reese Witherspoon movie. Alabama. Birmingham, Alabama. Sweet home Alabama. An excellent Reese Witherspoon movie. Is it not? Hello.

Hello, Madison. Hi. We were just discussing how good a movie Sweet Home Alabama is. Okay. Okay, you're done. Oh. Is that a sore point for the locals? It's Alabama generally, though.

Okay. Okay. Well, let's push on. Now, Tony, you might not know this, but Madison has actually applied for a job to work with you. Really? Yeah. What do you do for work, Madison?

Fellow doctor? I work with... No, I work with investments. And it says here Madison would like to join Tony's finance team. You're hired. You're hired. Welcome. I saw how well they were doing on Sweet Home Alabama.

I'll have you. Okay. Okay. All right. Madison, will you approve today's podcast? I absolutely will. Yeah. Hi, this is Madison from Birmingham, Alabama, and I approve this podcast.

Welcome to the show. I think we should, Tony, would you say it's a life goal? A life goal? A life dream that you just mentioned? Well, no, I had the dream last night. And what was it? That Taylor Swift commented on one of our videos. But is it like a goal or a life dream that you've manifested into your dream? You know what I mean?

Because dreams do come from somewhere. I didn't realize that it was a dream yet, but it must be. And how did it feel? It was really cool. Like it was huge and like our phones were blowing up because people were like oh my god i've just seen blah like right like the hype was more exciting like was really made it more exciting yeah you know when like you tell someone good news and they go okay or something great happens and people go oh whatever and you. And you go, oh, yeah, maybe it isn't that great. And like you kind of dull your shine.

Hey, I won't dull your shine. If you untail it a comment, I'll be excited for you. Oh, but I mean we would be excited anyway because that would just be crazy. Well, Usain Bolt liked one of our videos the other week. Yeah. Wasn't that strange? And Jamila Jamil. And I can say those two words very succinctly and cleanly together.

You know who she is, right? Yes. From like The Good Place and stuff like that. Yeah. She's so great. Yeah. And when I saw that pop up, I was like, what? You're like, why don't I recognize that name?

But please, keep liking our shit. Yeah. Let's do confessions. You can submit yours, tonyandryan.com.au. Very anonymous. Annoyingly anonymous. And that's what people were commenting on, the anonymous psychologist. Yes.

Yes. Yeah, it was. Taylor Swift didn't actually comment. Yeah, it was Dream Chat, which was entertaining as always. You actually influenced. I did bring it up. So that's not very fair because. I did bring it up.

Popular Ice Cream Girl has a confession. I hated my bosses, but I needed the job job so here's how I got my revenge and yes before your alarm goes off a lot of mild revenge energy in this story but because it's anonymous and came through the confession line I will respect that no that's okay from popular ice cream girl so does popular ice cream girl like they haven't quit not yet although it's getting it's getting out of hand. Because, yeah, when you say, like, wanted to get revenge on my bosses, I'm like, but do you still work there? Yeah, she did when she was doing it.

Yeah, okay. You know those loyalty cards that get stamped and it's like, 10th one free? Oh, yeah. They don't do that anymore, right? They should do it more. Yeah. I would double and triple stamp them.

Customers would love it and the business suffered, so suck that. So after doing this for a few weeks, popular ice cream girl's like, oh, I can push the boat a bit further here. Like I reckon I could give this a bit of a crack. So then she fully stamped 50 cards. So they're all up to the free one and hit the town, hit the clubs and was like free ice cream, slinging the cards and would go to the bar and go, yeah,

I'll get a vodka soda. And they're like, oh, it's four bucks. And she's like, want an ice cream instead? And the bar person would be like, fuck yeah. And so she was- Ice cream's expensive. It is. When you go and get like a scoop of ice cream,

it fucking cripples you. There's a place in Eltham. It's expensive. It is. When you go and get like a scoop of ice cream, it fucking cripples you. There's a place in Eltham, it's delicious. You're like, it's Baskin Robbins. Like it's a chain. So Bridget and I will like pick a flavor each and they put two flavors in the little box and we'll go home and eat that. Yeah. It can cost more than dinner.

Have you ever had gelato messina? Like that is fucking take a mortgage. Like literally crazy. We exchanged Pippa once. We went back and got her, but, you know, we thought about it. I became a quite popular around town and known as the girl that gives out the free ice creams. So she was like, oh, cover charge at the club?

Not for me. Here's an ice cream. Oh, the thing at the bar? Not for me. I'll get that for free, free ice cream. Fuck. And just slinging them out and the next day everyone would roll in and be like, oh, 10 pound free.

And so the business is paying out. She's still employed there and everyone loves her and they're giving her tips because they're like, oh, I have an extra tip. Oh, tips. That's a, I didn't even think about that. Yeah. So, immediately at the beginning when I'm like, oh, stamp a card an extra time. Yeah.

Like, that's okay. Yeah. But, fuck, it would add up, eh? Well, 50 full cards when she headed out on the weekend. And it seems like she did more than once. When you said, is she still working there? I'm like, surely this is going to catch up with her. Well, it would have to, eh?

Because you imagine the guys are like, oh, we gave out five free ones last week, six last week. 59. Okay, what's happened that weekend? Interesting, yeah. And they go, well, we haven't sold enough ice cream to make that make sense. In theory, 10% of them should be free, not all of them.

Oh, hang on. Wait, Tony's doing the. How? It's not important. My strengths lie in other areas. Yeah, 10%. Well, because every 10th one's free. But not every person uses a card.

True. So minimum of 10%. Say I found a flaw to your maths. Your theorem. Isn't theorem a word for fuckheads? Oh. No. I thought you were saying that to make fun of someone.

Well, I kind of was. But also I thought that it would get you fucking like, oh, theorem. Pythagoras is in the house. DJ Pythagoras. Got a new um confession here i witness crimes daily but i'm too scared to speak up oh that's awful oh yeah so i work in an ice cream place nosy betty says i work from home and our neighbors are a hundred percent doing something dodgy So she used to work in the office, COVID, moved home, and then they went, oh, you still do the three days, you know,

like a lot of people. So all of a sudden I'm sitting in that front spare room on my desk all the time and I never sat there for years and years, so I don't know how long this has been going on for. But all of a sudden all the different cars pulling up or whatever else? They probably think they're being real subtle by having these absolutely jacked up guys on steroids pull up to the house, walk to the front door,

knock twice, then go to the meter box, take something out of the meter box and leave without even speaking to the person. At least put some effort into not looking suspicious. Yeah. Says the confessor. I always, always want to casually walk across the street and just have a peep into the meter box. Yeah.

Because I'm like, what are they taking? What are people coming and getting? Imagine if it was just pamphlets, specials at Coles this week. Yeah, like 20% off lamb. Yeah. 20% off lamb, that'd be a great deal. Lamb's up. Yeah, lamb 20% off lamb. Yeah. 20% off lamb, that'd be a great deal. Lamb's up. Yeah, lamb's up.

So she wanted to walk out there, look into the meat box, but the thought of them coming out makes me want to vomit. Oh, and you couldn't because you also don't know that, like, you might be a cop or something. This is the thing. Do people ever consider maybe that they live near a police officer or like somebody that is nosy that would like call the cops or whatever? So when we were 16, Cal's EMC was like on a Friday, he's like,

like, boy, should we get some woodstocks for the weekend? And we're like, yeah. Oh, big boys. Yeah, and I go, oh, you know, can one of your brothers get it? Or like, you know, how are we going to get this? And he goes, oh, I'll just hang out at the front of the bottle shop. And if someone like young and chill kind of comes in, I'll just go, oh, hey, bro, what's up?

Like, can you just like help the boys out? No, no, no, no, no. Yeah. No. So how did you, did you ever have a cheeky drink? Yeah, but my mum would get it for me because her thing was like, oh, if I buy you two drinks, I know that I've bought you two drinks and you're not going to stand out the front of a fucking liquor store

or like get into a precarious situation because you've tried to acquire alcohol. One time we tried to ask this older guy and he was like, yeah, no worries. And so we gave him the cash and then he walks into the bottle shop and the guys running the bottle shop can just see these, like, punk kids standing at the front door. Standing at the front, yeah.

So it was like, we weren't being subtle either. Okay. And the guy goes, yeah, I'll just get a bottle of Maker's Mark and seven cowboy whips, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll get a bottle of Grange and four Guava Cruises. Thank you so much. And the guy goes, is it for the kids out the front?

And he goes, yeah. And he goes, is yours just the scotch? He goes, yeah. And he goes, I'll sell you the scotch but like just tell those kids to fuck off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he goes out, he goes, boys, like the jig's up. And we go, oh, can you drive down to the drive through down the road and get it? And he goes, yeah, just meet me in that park and give me the cash. Never saw him again.

Good. Yeah. Never saw that guy again. Yeah. And then you went home, you had a little Nesquik and went to bed. Yep. Like good little boys. Good little boys. Yeah. But one time Kelsey. Oh, fuck. How good's a Nesquik? When was the last time you had a fucking N quick strawberry or chocolate chocolate i don't like strawberry milk because my mom used to put medicine in it but that's the reason you didn't like it's probably because of the medicine yeah but now whenever i have anything strawberry flavored all i can taste is medicine okay yeah so it's really sad so calziumc goes up to a person who turns out to be an undercover cop and asks them to get booed. And so Kelsey just sits next to him.

An undercover cop or like an off-duty police officer? On duty, undercover. Fuck. So he's, and you know how you can, like when you know, you know, when you know they're an undercover cop, you look at him and you go, well, of course you are wearing like, oh, we'll wear our casual wear. Yeah, and their phones strapped to the outside of their jeans. Yeah, that kind of shit.

You can see the bulk of their gun underneath their clothes. So he's obviously gone, I'm an undercover cop. I'm going to go sit out the front of the bottle shop and see if- See if anybody does this. But even the other way around going, are they asking for ID? Are they doing all the- you know, are they compliant? So Cal just sits next to him and goes, hey, bro, any chance if I gave you the money you could buy us like a 10 pack of

Jim Beam and Cola? And he doesn't say anything. He just gets his badge out of his pocket and like shows it to Cal and Cal goes, oh fuck. So nah. Oh my God. You're so lucky you didn't get in trouble. Did you? No, the guy just said just like lucky you didn't get in trouble. Did you? No. The guy just said just like. Fuck off.

Like, rack off. Yeah. Move along. Yeah. Yeah. He said rack off. Was it in West Side Story? Yeah.

Rack off, mate. Our confessor says everyone has cameras and the way my house is located and the way their house is located. Everyone has cameras now. Yes. Their houses are like so kind of next door facing, like they all would recognise each other. So if they go, oh, that's that chick across the street that sits in the front window.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or like, oh, I've seen her put her bins out. I know that she lives there. Yeah, yeah. So she's just watching drug deals happen daily and just living the best life while she's working. Would you say something? Nah.

Because is it kind of like, oh, like, don't ask, don't tell? Well, I'd be more fear of like being a snitch and there being backlash. Yeah. Like them finding out that I told. Yeah. So when I lived in rural Victoria when Bridget was at the winery, I think the place next door fully got raided. Yes.

Yeah. And there used to be people coming at all kinds of night. And they were always like selling used furniture that looked a bit shit and i think that was their thing like i'm here to pick up the cushions yep that'll be ten thousand dollars all good um oh my god i reckon if someone had knocked on the door and asked i would have said yeah but like have you seen anything going on but i was like i don't want to fucking get caught up in that like yeah but there's also the part of me that's a bit like oh well i want to be i don't want to let this go on and then what if something happens over there and i knew all that time and then all of a sudden i'm not safe

like well it's not a proud decision it's more of just me being scared and being like i don't want to fucking oh no but like it's i don't think either way anyone would judge you. It's more just that like risk analysis. Is it more risky to tell on them now? Is it like- What would you do? Yeah, I don't know. If I felt like my family was at risk, I would 100% do like whatever I thought would get us out of that situation.

Yep. But, yeah, you'd be scared that it would be you. You'd be a snitch. Yeah, or that they'd know that it it would be you. You'd be a snitch. Yeah, or that they'd know that it was you. Yeah. But, yeah. BJ wandered over there a few times. But everyone's on cameras now.

Oh, hey, guys, how you doing? Cool, yeah, sweet. Just getting the dog. All good. Don't worry about it. Yeah, I'm okay. Oh, no, I've got a wine on the go. Yeah.

All good. Thank you. No, I don't need any more cushions. I don't have the money here. Yeah. Yeah, how much? Oh, wow. Wow. Yeah, no, it must be a nice one.ions. I don't have the money here. How much? Oh, wow.

Yeah, no, it must be a nice one. Lady Gaga sat on that. Hi, this is Madison from Birmingham, Alabama, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout-out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. You can check out our Patreon at any single time in the world. Lots of good stuff coming to, well, lots of good stuff in Patreon already, but something very good coming to Patreon next month. Ooh, shit.

Yeah. Shit. Fucking roll out the welcome wagon, a bunch of carla contis um yeah oh are you fun for a fucking pillow from next door yeah uh coy owens good on you coy emma welch love your m tyler galley melissa heason and eka thank you very much for being part of our patreon fucking love to see there are some great things on the way, though. That is a fact. Yeah. That is a fact. That is a cold fart.

You got too cocky. You got too cocky. I got too cocky. Cold hard fact is what I obviously meant to say. Now, Tony, is it fair to say, please correct me if I'm wrong, that you're not naturally like an Aldi girl, but you are open-minded to Aldi. Is that?

Open to an Aldi special buy. Yeah. Yeah, but it's not what I- It's not where I do my shopping, no. Because I used to always be exclusively a Coles girl. Yeah. And now where I live out in the country, the Coles near me fucking sucks cock. The Woolworths is dope though.

Sophie lives near me. Doesn't that Coles suck ass? It's very me. Doesn't that? Coles suck ass. It's very scary. It's a shock in Coles. Right. It's a fucking shocker. But the Woolies is good? The Woolies is better than the Coles. It's the one that where we've got the Woolies where we've got the sushi from. Yeah, that's good Woolies.

Tony claims she lives in the country but her supermarket's doing sushi and the sushi's good. It's important to say that the sushi's good because I feel like anyone can roll out sushi. Anyone can make sushi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it's pretty fancy.

I've got sushi. I've had sushi and I've had sushi. Yes. And this is the latter. It's pretty good. Yeah. They also do, like, hot little treats in the, like, chicken Bayamarea.

Yeah. Like, they do, like, little chicken, like, katsu curry and stuff in there. It's really good. Come to the country. Coincidence chat. I had a chicken curry katsu sushi the other day. Yeah, yum.

Fucking aren't we just destroying a culture right there? Oh, but I mean, it's the fusion. Yeah. Isn't it? Yeah. Did you get that from the Preston Woolworths? It's the Preston Woolworths for those playing along at home. It's a good Woolworths.

Everyone will look that up and go, that doesn't look that rural. I drive in. Yeah. Catch the V line in. It's a four-hour drive, but it's worth it. And I get the sushi to keep me going for the drive home. Sustenance for the hours back. Another four hours back, yeah.

Yes, but not naturally an Aldi girl. Sorry, I fucking forgot how we are. I blacked out for a second. Now, you're actually the person that introduced this product to my life. Can we all agree that a fabric shaver is the fucking shit? Babe, yeah. Does it change your life? Remember Torbs, that's what he said.

It would change your life. I thought it was a sex toy. It turns out it was even better than that. Yeah. So, Bridget got a fabric shaver from the middle aisle at Aldi. And our world is just get around it. It makes old clothes look brand new. Feel brand new.

Smell brand new. Feel brand new. It makes you feel brand new. You are a brand new woman. Now there's one issue with the aldi fabric shaver uh-huh and it's sort of as much as we're pro shave yeah it's sort of given us the ick with the fabric shaver or with aldi the fabric shaver oh now i've actually got it here. Oh. Hypothetically, imagine you're designing a product that's not a shoe.

Yeah. How much does that product have to start looking like a shoe before you go, do we need to change the look of this fabric shaver? It looks like a Nike Air Force. That is a Nike basketball shoe, isn't it? That's a high-top basketball shoe. That's a Converse. I can't shave fabric with this anymore because all I see is a shoe. It's an electric shoe.

And these shoes were made for. How do you turn? Look at the shoe go. Yeah. What if I did this though? What? What are you going to do? Pass it to me, please.

What if instead of like this, what if it was like that? I just see a shoe on the side. Yeah. Then you see the sole of the shoe. The sole of the shoe. But what I'm saying is you're in the product development room. That's a nice one. I'd wear the shoe. The sole of the shoe. But what I'm saying is you're in the product development room. That's a nice one. I'd wear the shoes.

That's a really nice one. That's a lot better quality than mine. Mine's just a like home brand Amazon one. You can get like Philips ones and stuff. They're a bit more expensive, but I think they'd go a bit better. Aldi, this goes hard. I wonder if I've still got them. I guess my question is, imagine there's a whole team of designers yeah surely one of them at some stage goes does that look too much like a shoe yeah

should we change the design of it somehow look at it i actually yeah because bridget goes look how it works and i go you know and she yep, I'm aware of what it looks like. And even when it's up the right way, it just looks like a shower head. Yeah. Nah, that's denim. That's not pilling. So you don't need it on denim. Well, I don't like it, yeah.

Well, yeah, that's a shower. I'll have it. Yeah? Yeah. I don't mind if things denim. Well, I don't like it. Well, yeah, that's a shame. I'll have it. Yeah? Yeah. I don't mind if things look like what they are. I'll have to ask my wife. Why? Why is there pink in it?

Well, she obviously has done it on a pink jumper or pink cushion or something. I don't like your jumper today. You just showed me the shoe for the very first time and I didn't use it. It's also right at the bottom. So, you know, that's being done first and other things have been. Your honor. Correct. Not guilty.

Thank you. That's my theorem and I'm sticking to it. So I just, just fucking have a look at it. It's yeah. I mean, do you know what it looks like? It looks like, like pop art, like if Banksy made a sculpture of a shoe because it's like that shiny plastic and stuff. Yeah, that is actually bang on.

That is absolutely what it looks like. More shopping chat. Yesterday I'm at Kmart. Oh, beautiful choice. God's country. Yeah, God's shop. And Sophie made a choice and said, can I get a- Were you together or she asked you to do it, right?

She said, can you get me a mouse pad? Yeah. And I believe- Oh, that's a- I fucking need a mouse pad. That's a great question. Because we're all raw dogging the table here. We are raw dogging. We're all raw dogging.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I don't know why, and this is on me. It's on me. It's not, it's on me. You bought a mouse tampon instead. So. A mouse menstrual cup. In my mind for some reason. Thanks, Sophie.

We don't understand that joke. Ew, boys. Ew, yeah. Women are disgusting. In my mind, the stationery, books, anything, in my mind, that's called the back to school section. That's for back to school.

You know how there's always a back to school sale on stationery and stuff? No, there isn't. The back to school. You know how there's always a back to school sale and stationary and stuff? No, there isn't. The back to school sales. But there isn't always one on because you're not always going back to school. So you sound like the girl at Kmart. So I roll in and encode up. I've got a vacuum. Did you have a trolley?

We got a Nutribullet. Yeah, I had a trolley. And they wanted to. We got a Nutribullet. Oh, like a Kmart Nutribullet. You bought a Nutribullet for the office? Yeah. That is a trolley and they wanted to- We got a Nutribullet. Oh, like a Kmart Nutribullet. You bought a Nutribullet for the office? Yeah. That is a crazy purchase.

What do you mean? That feels like something we should have discussed. Like a little blender. What are you doing? What do you need that for? Dude, we're about to start juicing in here. We are going to get fucking- Well, you can't juice with a Nutribullet.

They're not the same thing. You put stuff in and juice comes out. What? No. We're going to be putting berries and almond milk and fucking. So you're not juicing. I'm juicing berries and milk. Well, no, that's not what juicing is.

What's juicing mean? It's a different like action. You press juice, but you don't blend. It's fucking, it's a whizzy chopper. That's what we call it at home. God, you got your shoe, your whizzy chopper. You're all blend. No. It's a whizzy chopper. That's what we call it at home. You've got your shoe, your whizzy chopper. You're all over the place. So anyway.

You have to clean that. What? I've got to clean a few things in this office, actually. I've left it pretty shit. I was going to come in early this morning, use the new vacuum cleaner and clean the kitchen because I'm the only one that uses most of that shit. I'm really sorry about that.

I appreciate that. Just let me acknowledge that I will get onto that. Yeah. Oh. So I go into Kmart. Yeah. You got your your whizzy chopper i got my whizzy chopper i got my vacuum cleaner and i'm like where's the back to school section and because in my mind like it's june that's exactly what she said i go where's the back to school section? And she goes, what? And I go, you know, the back to school section. And she goes, it's June. Did I work at the Kmart?

Yeah. She goes, it's June. And I went, yeah. You go, sweetheart, I didn't ask for a calendar. I asked for a mouse. But if I wanted a calendar, that would probably ironically also be in the back to school section. Stationary. Now, she didn't say the line, also, you look 36, you ****.

But her eyes said that. Okay, beep that, obviously. Her eyes said, do you know what time it is? Do you know how old you are? Why are you going back to school in June? She was like, he's bought some pillows from next door. What's going on? He's all over the place.

He doesn't know what season it is. Fuck. Did you end up finding the mouse pad? No mouse pad. We'll have to keep raw dogging. But now that I know you want one and I probably, James, do you want a mouse pad? I've got plenty actually. Fuck.

Thanks, Sharon. Someone's gone back to school. Yeah, okay. But it's probably good because I would have bought one, but now I'll buy a third. Oh, yeah, great. So now, though, what section would you ask for in the shops? When is the pop quiz taking place? It's now.

Oh, June. Australian school year or American school year? Now, it turns out, having done some googling from the car park Where I was fucking crying After the girl fucking rinsed ya Yeah They call it home office Okay

Because it's sort of like They have cool up little cups and pots and stuff Yeah little drawers for your desk Yeah and I don't know if you saw But I got one of those as well Did you get us a bunch of cool home office things? No, because now it's not a blight. This is actually a compliment to you guys.

My desk is fucking, it's fucked. I've seen it. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm like, I just need to bring it together. Tighten it up. Tighten it up. Yeah, okay, I'll write that.

But I'm crying and it turns out, yeah, a home office. So they've got stuff like that. But when you got that little drawer, you would have been, you know, a mouse's penis away from the mouse pads. No, but that's what I thought I wanted and they do have that in home office, but I got a kitchen one, like a kitchen drawer. Oh, I see. Because it'll do the job and when you don't know where the back

to school section is. That'll do. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it is called home office for those playing along at home. Oh, yeah, okay. At home office. Yeah.

Did you think to just like do a lap of the shop? I did and I asked the lady and then I was embarrassed. But how could you have not walked through the stationary area? I fear you have not done a lap of the shop. Well, I asked her on my lap and then I was embarrassed so I left. Yeah, that does happen. Yeah. Yeah. And that on my lap and then I was embarrassed. So I left. Yeah, that does happen. Yeah.

Yeah. And that's why you should never ask for directions. So did you say you had a trolley? Yeah. Oh, so she knew you meant business. I was not fucking. Yeah. Do you have to pay for a trolley with a coin? Oh, I don't.

I refuse. So I said to the guy, I was like, can you unlock that? And he goes, you got a coin? And I was like, no, I don't. Yeah, because it's actually not 1994. I don't have cash, you fuckhead. But the fact I'm asking for a trolley means. I don you got a coin? And I was like, no, I don't. Yeah, because it's actually not $19.94. I don't have cash, you fuckhead. But the fact I'm asking for a trolley means. I don't have a coin.

It means I'm mean business. I'm here to fucking spend money. Yeah. Add the trolley cost to my invoice at the end. Yeah. You know Aldi sell. Oh, James, fuck off. Yeah, actually, I don't want to hear it today.

Because I know that they do, but it's too late. Yep. Turn on your shoe and let's get out of here. These shoes are made for walking. I've got something that'll make you feel happy. Please. We got this email from Paulina in the USA. Is it James's family?

Yeah, literally. What's your daughter's name? Paulina. And she messaged through to say, did you know it, Aldi? Paulina. What's your daughter's name? Pauline. And she messaged through to say, did you know what Aldi is? Paulina. That's what I call her. Oh.

Paulina. Yeah, okay. I'm watching the Snacks Only Sport Rich Kids Had video on YouTube. So if you didn't know, Tony and Ryan, we also have a YouTube channel. We post like one thing a week and we do like random reaction videos and taste tests and stuff. We recently did one where we ate all food that only spoilt rich kids had,

including Babybel cheese, you know, the little one in the red wax. I now know. So Paulina sent us this email that she was just in France, must be nice, and discovered that instead of the little mini Baby bells in France, they have this giant cheese. You could fucking die. It's massive. Paulina is holding it with her hand. It's like a full hand size.

That's too much cheese. Literally insane. Because it was so rich. Yeah, but then what do you do? Do you wrap it back up after you've had a little nibble and then- Yeah, you can't eat that all in one. I hope she's got 57 friends. But do you cut it like a cake?

I believe so. Do you think you- You can put candles in that. Yeah, that's a birthday baby bell. Anyway, so Paulina, thank you for sharing culture with us. Literally. Because that is beautiful. Isn't cheese made of culture?

Or is that yogurt? That's funny. Is that yogurt? No, I wasn't doing that, but oh, I don't know. I think it's yogurt. I'm not a cow. I don't fucking know. Yeah.

Anyway, but beautiful. Thank you, Paulina. You love to say that. I love seeing cheese from different lands. My love to say it is actually it's a quiz. Oh, you've copied me. I did a quiz earlier. What is the most spoken about TV show in the history of this podcast?

What is the most spoken about TV show in the history of this podcast? Most spoken about TV show? Yeah. Especially. Do you want a clue? A few are coming to mind immediately. Go on. No, I don't know.

A clue. The cricket. Oh, the test show? No. When Ryan wants to watch the cricket. I don't know. You don't know. Border security.

Thank you very much. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. Yeah. Thank you very much. I'm actually, I apologize about that. I was like, that fucking documentary you just started watching. Sure. Was that one of the ones you had in mind?

No. Do you know what went to my mind straight away? Breaking Bad. Have we ever talked about that? I don't know. Me and Bridget started watching every second episode because we just wanted to get to the end. Oh.

Yeah. Yeah, I get it. Just skip through like three and four. I get it. Keep it tight. A few fillers in there with old Breaking Bad. To bring you up to speed, broader security, most spoken about TV show on this podcast.

If you're new to the show, you'll probably not know that Tony was once caught by the folks at border security for trying to smuggle a weapon onto an airplane. I wasn't on the show. Before you get excited, they weren't filming at the time. I just got pulled over by security for having scissors in my bag.

She also yelled at former Prime Minister John Howard in the airport. Yeah, I did. And I told him something he didn't know. I said, you're John Howard. And he might not have remembered. Well, that is actually true. He's getting old. Now, Lorna got to experience border security live in person.

She was on the show. No, no, no. Like, shit's going down right there. No, I want someone to tell me about when they're filming. Well, someone was the person that arrested Cocaine Cassie. No, not Cocaine Cassie. Not Cocaine Cassie. Coach Who's Karen.

Coach Who's Karen. Sorry. Cocaine Cassie. Oh, my God. They've signed an NDA. All right. So, Lorna is in the line at the airport, about to go through security. Mm-hmm. Yeah. All right. So Lorna is in the line at the airport about to go through security.

And the person in front of her, there's like two friends. And one girl leans over to her friend and goes, I can't find my passport. So I've just brought my sisters. Should be all good, right? And Lorna, who like us is a border security fan, just goes. Strap in. Here we fucking go. It's about to be fucking on also imagine casually bringing that up though yeah like oh yeah i couldn't find it so

i just brought that one like it's not like that what so lorna tweets this with a bit of like, fucking stay tuned. And the internet is melting down. Do the tickets and the passport have to be the same name? Does she look like her sister? Is there an age difference between the sister? What the fuck is going to happen? Depending on what country you're in, they fingerprint you. Do you have the same fingerprints as a sister? I got fingerprinted on the way into the USA.

Ryan didn't. Oh, my god ryan didn't ryan goes straight through and i'm like fucking i was hanging out my ass like i wasn't very well when we got to the us yep um and yeah and ryan's like took you so long like what were you doing and i was like oh it took ages for them to take my fingerprints ryan goes what and i was like like, did yours not take that long? And he goes, mate, why did they take your, like, what did you say? Yeah, what did you say? No, I didn't say anything. I said, hi, how are you? I'm having a great day.

Like, just got off the plane. Really excited to be in the US. We talked about this before we left. You're already talking too much. Hey, man, how you been? Good? Oh, no. I was like, oh, just got here from Melbourne. Yeah. Giving me life story and stuff. This bitch is trying to cover for something. Get those mitt. Hey, man. How you been? Good? Oh, no. I was like, oh, I just got here from Melbourne.

You're giving me life story and stuff. This bitch is trying to cover for something. Get those mitts out, sweetheart. Yeah, no. So I got fingerprinted in the Dallas Fort Worth airport. Yeah. Did they make camcorders as well? No.

Okay. Because we all went in the line separately for these reasons. Yeah. So I steer clear of ourselves heads down. Yeah. Because we didn't have visas. Yeah. Because we were not a business and not doing work. Holiday visa. Yeah. Because we didn't have visas. Yeah. Because we were not a business and not doing work.

Holiday visa. Yeah. So then every time we're in the line, I'm like, so what do I say? Ryan's like, shut the fuck up. He's like, don't say anything. I'm like, but what if they ask me? He goes, just don't say anything. And I was like, I don't have a lawyer.

Say less. I don't have a lawyer. And he's like, definitely don't ask me in the line at the airport. Ask me in the car. Do you know who I look like? My sister? Yeah. Yeah. If you're going to ask look like my sister? Yeah. Yeah.

If you're going to ask questions, ask them before here. Before, yeah. Now's not the time. So time has passed and people are like, fuck, what's happened to that sister? Yeah, what happened? What's happened to that chick? Lorna tweets. Like the tweet comes up with Lorna's name and everyone's like, fuck it.

Here we go. They let her through. Lorna tweets, so boring. I was ready for a full-blown investigation. What a big, boring result. Also, who's fucking guarding our border? I was just about to say, you know what I'd do? I'd go, yeah, that girl didn't have her own passport.

Who let them through? I'd carry on up. Would you? Yeah, I would. A hundred percent. You've changed your tune since that drug'd Karen up. Would you? Yeah, I would. A hundred percent. You've changed your tune since that drug deal earlier. No, no, no. I would.

For something like that, a hundred percent. You don't know that she's not a fucking crazy murderer. Like, you literally don't know that she's not like. A crazy murderer. Yeah. Yep. Well, and Lorna's dead now. Oh, Lorna.

Yeah. What country was it? I believe it was the US. I got fingerprinted. A beautiful, innocent woman. Yeah. Oh, I should have taken my sister's passport. Yeah, would have been better.

Would have been better. But thank you for sharing that story. That is incredible. Yeah, it's amazing. Tomorrow on the show, you may remember a few weeks ago we heard about Sophie being dumped. What was the line? Our Sophie. being dumped. What was the line? Our Sophie.

Our Sophie. What was the line that we? You're dumped, slut. I believe is what the. How old was he when you guys, when that happened? 13. Oh, that's a hard age. That is a hard age.

Sophie, yeah. Tender age of 13. Tomorrow on the show, Tarpers have shared their how did you get dumped in primary school stories. Oh, amazing. And some of them are a bit cute. Some of them have left scars and some of them were the starting point for one of the great modern tales. Oh.

That's tomorrow on the show. We'll chat to you then. Love you. Bye.