Toni and Ryan - Single Toni

Episode Date: May 17, 2022

Sometimes your partner is right, and sometimes, they're.... right. Plus the best normal or nahs for the week. Love ya! Toni xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello? Hi, is that Ernesto? Oh, my God, it is. Hi, it's Tony and Ryan. Oh, my God, hello. Oh, my God, they just forgot about me. It's 37. It's like a sin 40.

Oh, my God, they're not calling anymore. Oh, mate, of course. We're just running late because Tony was running late today. Oh, don't do that. I've never run late in my life and you know that, Ernesto. Tony's always on time. Thank you. He's always on time.

Exactly. Would you approve this episode? Oh, my God, I would love to approve. Of course. Yay! Whee! Okay, here's Ernesto. I'm from California and I approve this podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan show.

Oh no, hump day. Happy hump day. Happy hump day. Friday is the shareholders update, of course. Yes, just a quickie. And unlike me yesterday, I'm going to say, who knows what it's about. Who knows whether it's good or bad news. Who knows?

Not me. Coming up today, when were you wrong? Slash, when was your partner right? They are different questions. That is true. That is true. But what an awful situation you find yourself in. I'm currently single.

Recently single. So guess who was wrong with something that's happened recently? You'll hear about Tony's singleness. Yeah, we'll get to that in a bit. And who was right and who was wrong and who's paying the consequences coming up today. But let's start with normal or nah. My fave.

Now this is by someone called Mad Dog. Hi, Mad Dog. Have we had Mad Dog message before? I think so. Yeah. Hey, Mad Dog, what are you up to, friend? Normal or nah? Letting your toast go cold before you put butter on it

so the butter doesn't melt. My nana, my mum and myself all do this. Are we fucked? Yeah. Yeah, you're fucked? Nah. Are we fucked? Yeah. Yeah, you're fucked? Nah. Normal or nah? Nah.

The best part, I've got a lot of thoughts on this immediately, all rushing through. Okay, A, the butter being melted is the best. Correct. B, most people, unlike me, I do hashtag outdoor butter, so my butter is always in a dish on the bench, so it's like quite soft. Yep.

But most people keep their butter or margarine or whatever in the fridge. In the fridge, yeah, I'm a fridge guy. Yuck. So then when you go to butter your toast, if it's cold, you're just going to massacre the toast. Yeah. You've made me toast before with your cold butter and it was fucked, yeah. It was when we made that video.

Do you remember when we made that video? What a great day that was. What video? Those food videos. Oh, yes. A great day. It was a great day that was. What video? Those food videos. Oh, yes. A great day. It was a great day. Yeah.

But I'm with you on the I would argue that the toast is just a vessel to put melted butter in you. Yeah, it's an excuse to drink butter. Don't let that excuse pass you by. With letting your toast. Just have it on bread. And I like hot. So I've talked about this before. I like my toast like almost burnt. Like I like hot, like, so I've talked about this before.

I like my toast, like, almost burnt. Like, I like my toast, like, quite well done. Yeah. And so I love having, like, a roasting piece of toast with fucking butter dripping off it. There's nothing better. At the moment, I'm really into this sourdough fruit toast. And, like, a thick cut.

Yeah. So I mentioned yesterday that I went and did my own food shopping for the first time in probably six years and um because I'm single at the moment and um I bought this toast and I've literally eaten nothing but fruit toast and those cheese and bacon rolls like all week I had four sandwiches yesterday I had sandwiches for lunch and then I had sandwiches for dinner at like 10pm because Torbs normally does all the cooking. And at the moment I'm fucking fierce with work, like I'm so fucking busy.

And I was sitting on the couch. I worked all day at my day job until four. Does work make you eat sandwiches for multiple meals? No, but it was all that I could like figure out how to do. No noodles, two-minute noodles? No, I didn't. Pizza, homemade pizza? Oh, I didn't think about that.

Homemade pizza is quite like an arduous meal. Like you need lots of stuff. You just put it on the thing and put it in the oven. No, but you need heaps of stuff. It's like a. Tomato, basil, bit of cheese, bit of meat. I don't have any basil. I don't have any pizza bases.

Right, it is way too hard. It's a whole thing. Anyway, so I've just bought all this bread anyway. And yesterday I ate sandwiches for lunch because I was like oh just very quickly had a 10 minute lunch and then went straight back to work and then at four o'clock i finished my day job late good supposed to finish at three worked late and then i worked on the computer on the couch till 10 and i was like i haven't had any fucking dinner so i just made more sandwiches um so yeah i'm bread heavy at the moment you can probably see it in my face no No, you look great. You look great. I'm doughy at the moment.

Anyway, so why would you miss an opportunity to not have pools of fucking melted butter? And it goes on your hands. It's so good. Mad Dog, there's your fucking answer, mate. You and your family. Yeah, Mad Dog, I'm really sorry about that. You need to have a real hard look at yourself.

But your nan's a fuckhead. Nah, take that back, Mad Dog. Sorry about that. What would Mad Dog's nan be called? Great Mad Dog? And then his, no, I don't know. Like great, what would? I don't know.

Great Dog? Like Great Grandma? Great Dog. Great Dog! Hello, my name's Great Dog. Yes, I'm Mad Dog's Great Dog. I'm Mad Dog, that's my son. Mr. Mad Dog, that is my father.

Son of a bitch. Was the son of a mad dog, the only boy who could ever teach me. Sorry about that musical interlude. Next up, Normal or Nah? Jason Carswell. Does he? Carswell? I've heard that.

Sure does. Normal or Nah? Having to call in sick to work because the sex was that good. Nah? Nah, I've never done that. He reckons it's normal in his life and he's not the only one. Well, I'm guessing his sexual partner has probably done the same thing. But he mentioned this in Patreon and lots of people were commenting and I would have assumed nah, like that's pretty extreme.

Yeah. He's not alone. It's pretty normal. It's happening a lot. So you have like a big night of it and then you go, fuck, can't go to work tomorrow because you're injured or just because you're in pure ecstasy? I don't know.

I think more like, yeah, you're a bit sore or you're a bit like just thrown, you know, your balance is off. What are you, cumming in the ear? Fucking up their inner ear? What do you mean your balance is off? What are you fucking on a yacht? What are you talking about?

Corey Robinson said they used to do this. I mean, Shmory Shmobinson used to do this regularly because, you know, until, says Corey, Corey's boyfriend's sister became his manager so he could no longer call in and say, hey, I've had a massive night because I'm talking about my future sister-in-law and I don't want to be having that conversation with her. Oh, well, I don't think that Shmory Shmobinson was being honest about why he wasn't. Apparently he was because apparently it's kind of normal.

No. What? I have a question. What job do people have where they can regularly call in sick? I'm glad you asked, Tony Lodge. Because I have not had a job where I could call in sick comfortably ever. If you called in sick to your current

job, they're nice at your work, right? Oh, they actually, yeah. They're very good. I think that if I said, look, I'm not well, they'd go, cool, take the like, they'd rather I took the day rather than Can you try this? No. Hey, you know how I'm recently single and living off bread?

The Uber driver, Uber food, Uber Eats delivery driver. Uber food. Uber food. The Uber Eats delivery driver came around last night and delivered more than a fucking sausage roll. I am destroyed. No fucking way. I can't work today.

I am not comfortable with my own sexuality. There is no way I would say that to somebody else. I'm not comfortable sitting today. So I just, I can't try. No fucking way. You said what kind of workplace? Let me tell you one. And this will fucking, this will.

Because you couldn't do that either. Because you're on the radio. So you can't, you know, call up and be like, oh, I'm not coming in today. If I don't come in, my DMs light up. Where are you? Yeah. You're not on the radio. Oh, I'm not on the air today. I don't come in, my DMs light up. Where are you? Yeah. You're not on the radio. Oh, I'm not on the air today.

Sorry, mate. I was getting a sausage roll from a Uber Eats driver. Or even when I had COVID and I was sick from this job. Yep. And then we didn't have the podcast for a week. Like, so if we're off, like, lots of things happen. So I just don't. Here's the secret.

Tony didn't have COVID earlier this year. She just had a big week. Let me tell you what kind of place, and this will throw you, this is the last workplace you'd expect this to happen. Blade Thorn. Hi, Blade. I used to be a manager at KFC in Brisbane. Shout out to the Colonel.

King cock fuckers. That's what that says. I had a team member text me to let me know she'd be Shout out to the Colonel. King cock fuckers. I had a team member text me to let me know she'd be a little slower today because of the sex she had the night before. She later told me that she didn't have the guts to tell me face to face, which is why she sent a text, but she also didn't want the boss to think that she was slacking off. So she said, hey, I am going to come in today, but I have had a massive night.

And just to let you know, I'm not going to be on my game today. In a text, so they didn't have to say it face to face. I would just never, ever say that. Should we do a poll to see if you should do this as an experiment? No, I'm not fucking doing it. I wouldn't. I couldn't do that. I'm not.

I'm not. You know I'm not like that. Like I know that I'm fucking dirty and disgusting and stuff, but like I'm not. What if you called another workplace, like a big place, and just pretended that you worked there and called in sick? You know if you call, like, Bunnings or Safeway where they have, like, 50, 100 employees?

No, because then if I call and say, hey, it's Mel, I'm not coming in today. I got railed last night. I'm not. And then what happens when Mel turns up? Yeah, and then they've already ruined someone else's weekend to cover for them because they've come in, even though that was supposed to go to their niece's birthday.

Yeah, I mean, Mel's, her've come in, even though that was supposed to go to their niece's birthday. Yeah. I mean, Mel's, her weekend's not the only thing that was ruined. I cannot imagine calling or texting or saying to a boss, sorry, I got fucked in the ass last night, like I'm going to be off my game a bit. Just don't say it. Like, or just say, oh, I'm just not feeling that flash. Like, I just can't imagine ever saying to somebody, yeah, like, you know, big night with my boyfriend or girlfriend or whoever.

It's, I know, it's a whole new world. I can't believe people are doing that. Apparently it's normal. Apparently it's normal. It's nah. It's nah. It's nah. Also, I can't remember who wrote this and I hate that I can't remember who it was, but

someone commented in the group the other day, the thing I dislike about Normal or Nah is I thought I was interesting and unique and it turns out everyone's just as fucked as I am. Oh, no, you should find that reassuring. Yeah, I mean it's a double-edged sword. Yeah, they're like, oh, well, I called in sick and ate cold toast yesterday, so all good. Now, let me know.

This is Isabella Carrigan. Shmishabella Shmarigan or Isabella Carrigan? Isabella. Okay. You let me know when she gets a bit aggressive here. Oh, you've turned a bit aggressive all of a sudden. Yeah, because I don't like it. Whoa, okay.

I don't like her attitude. Well, I'm already on your side. Thank you. Fuck you, Isabella. No. That's rough. I should have called in sick. Normal. Fuck you, Isabella. No. That's rough. I should have called in T. Normal or nah, says Isabella.

On my way to work this morning, I saw this guy playing music through speakers on like an old stereo. I'm already angry. Out loud on the street. Like, mate, they invented AirPods for a reason. No one wants to hear your shit music. It's a big nah from me. Hear, hear.

Nah. Nah. I agree. Absolutely nah. Oh, I thought I'd be on your side, and I am actually, but I'm also on Isabella's side. Fuck off. Fuck right off.

It's like people that, like, walk down the street on FaceTime and they're like, yeah, and then I think we're going to go to the pub on the corner of fucking Swan Street and then blah, blah, blah, put your AirPods in and just talk on the phone like a regular person. Or hold it up to your ear. Yeah. So many options.

You just don't need to FaceTime. No. Oh, I'm just not a big fan of FaceTime in general. No, no. You never look good on FaceTime. You're looking up at yourself in your chins. If we wanted to see each other, I'd catch up in person. Exactly. Just give me a call, bro.

It's totally fine. It's like during COVID, like the Zoom chat thing, I'm like I want to be able to do other things while I'm on the phone. Like if I'm on the phone, I want to be able to paint my nails or eat my dinner or, you know, whatever I'm doing. Yeah. I don't want to commit fully to a thing. You want to know something nice that happened yesterday?

Yeah. Because I am the Chief merchandise and international shipping officer of Turning Around Podcast. Good luck in the role. I was trying to organise, and I am organising some warehouse space in the US to put all our drink bottles. Who guessed a month ago that this was something I would have to do? It's a wild.

We thought we'd have to send 10 overseas. We were like, cool, we can cop 10 each for shipping. No, not $5 billion. So the shipping warehouse guy is like, fuck, overseas we were like we can cop 10 each just like yeah for shipping no not five billion so the shipping warehouse guy is like fuck i can't even believe that word yeah we've got a warehouse guy we got a warehouse guy apparently fuck me anyway so he goes um let's jump on zoom i'll run you through how it all works i'll teach you through the program that's nice and then he goes um i'll have my screen on because you i'll screen share so I'll show you like how to log in and do all this stuff. You don't need to put your camera on though.

It's totally fine. That is nice. He doesn't have to say that, but he probably goes, oh, I know it's a pain in the ass. And it just totally, I went, oh, thanks, man. Yeah, that is nice. But I like doing a camera on. I think it's more polite.

I did feel rude. Yeah. Oh, you did the camera off? Yeah. But I like doing a camera on. I think it's more polite. I did feel rude. Yeah. Oh, you did the camera off? Yeah. No, he was just being polite. You have to have your camera on. Well, it was about a 20-minute chat, and at about the 19-and-a-half-minute mark I went,

I probably should have put my camera on for this. I feel a bit rude. Oh. I probably would have done camera on. That's okay. That's all right. He did say that, so it's probably fine. Let's get back to Isabella Carrigan, though.

Oh, there's more? Mate, you just wait for it. Oh, holy shit. Sorry, I thought we were done. Isabella. So the way she's described it is someone's, like, carrying speakers, and for some reason I just imagined, you know, that, like, gangster with a stereo over his shoulder

rocking up to the local. Like Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Yeah, rocking up to the basketball court. Yeah. And so I replied, oh, it seems just like such a 90s thing to do. Yeah. Wouldn't know. Born in 2004.

Fuck you. That's aggressive language. Fuck you, Isabel. She also said, I'm at an age where I'm also not dating Robert Pattinson. Oh, she has choosin'. Choosin'. Oh, flapped. Oh, flapped.

Tony's lost it. She's chosen hate there. She could have picked love, but she's chosen hate. Isabella. Isabella. Okay, here's a nice dump and come and find out. Hey, listen to Tony and Ryan. A very quick shout out to a few of our new champion tapas over the last week. If you haven't heard your name yet, it's because there are 7,000 of you.

Yeah. We are getting to you. Blair Penlington, thank you so much. Lawrence Bernier, Anthony Draper, Charlotte Good, I bet she is. Mike Hunts-Herry. Oh! Did you not see that coming? How did you know?

Did you not read? You wrote these down. Yeah, I just didn't even think about it. Did you read it while you wrote it down? No, because I was just like jotting it down. What was it again? Mike Hunts Harry. Did they put a hyphen in? Yeah.

Mike Hunts Harry. That's very funny. And Lauren Quinn. And yes, it is. Okay. I am single at the moment. Maybe that's why. All right. now you've been

mentioning that you're single and I'm sure people are wondering what has happened to the heir of the Torbjorn fortune? What has happened to Winnie the Pooh? Is everything okay? We are in the best relationship in the world. Been doing it for eight, together for seven. What has gone on? Okay. You guys taking a break? Torbjorn is away.

He's just away. What do you mean he's away? He gets back in two days. How. You guys taking a break? Torbs is away. He's just away. What do you mean he's away? He gets back in two days. How long has he been gone for? One. So he's been gone for three days. Yeah. In total.

Yeah. And you are in meltdown slash car bland and just not coping. This makes me sound really codependent and like really desperate. It's as if you haven't been shopping on your own for six years. I haven't. Like the thing is, is that we. It makes me sound codependent. We have, we run a tight ship as in like we both contribute things to.

What do you contribute? Jokes. Laughs. Good times. So do you contribute? Jokes. Laughs. Good times. So he gets the food. Yep. He cooks the food. Yep.

He does half the cleaning. Yep. And you tell the jokes? I always fold the washing. That's a lie. I don't always fold the washing. He does a lot of stuff around the house. It sounds like it.

He does. I am like the admin team of the house though. Okay. So like I organise paying the bills. I am like the admin team of the house though. Okay. So like I organise paying the bills. I do like the rent stuff. The rent stuff, you set up a direct debit once a year ago and it pays itself every week. And like if there's a problem with the house,

I'm like I will email the real estate. Okay. You know, like I am on the front line of the relationship. I make the calls. Like I'm the caller. You know how in your relationship you're the caller? Yep. You're the person that talks on the relationship. I make the calls. Like I'm the caller. You know how in your relationship you're the caller? Yep. You're the person that talks on the phone.

I organise stuff and I do all the admin. Torbs does like the more practical stuff, especially lately. He has been a fucking godsend because I am so busy. Yeah, just the last, you know, seven, eight years, he's really been doing the lion's share. I've been so busy. He does a lot. He looks out. He's the best. I've been so busy. He does a lot. He looks out.

He's the best. He's honestly the best. He looks after me very, very well. And just before he left, actually, he was in a bit of a flap. And I was fucking jealous because he got to use our fancy new luggage before I did. Oh, with the wheels on it. Yeah, he got to take it. And he was like, oh, look at me.

Anyway, and just before he left, this is a side note, just before he left he was having a shower and like washing his hair and he got conditioner in his eye, shampoo in his eye or something and he like freaked out and he knocked everything off of the shelf in the bathroom because I brush my teeth in the shower and like there was like a razor and like face wash and like all this stuff and he picks up that everything was on the ground and he goes, oh, my God, and I run in to make sure he's okay

and he picked up my razor and my face cleaner but my toothbrush was on the ground. And he goes, oh, my God. And I run in to make sure he's okay. And he picked up my razor and my face cleaner, but my toothbrush was on the ground in the shower. And I was like, okay, I would have preferred you picked that up first than like literally anything else. So in his moment of need, you're just in there telling him what to do. Well, my fucking toothbrush was on the ground. Anyway, he picks it up and rubs it on his arm. He goes, all good, and puts it back on the thing.

What the fuck? Now I need to buy a new toothbrush head. I have to do that when I go do my food shopping. First of all, let's just all take a deep breath. It sounds like you've been through a traumatic experience. I have. Where Torbs, let me get, and tell me if I've got this wrong. A traumatic

experience where your partner has knocked something off a ledge and then picked it up and put it back. Is that what we're talking about here? Yeah, but heaps of stuff was on the ground. Yeah, and he picked it up and put it back. Is that what we're talking about here? Yeah, but heaps of stuff was on the ground. Yeah, and he picked it up and put it back. But my toothbrush was on the ground for ages. Here is.

That my toothbrush was on the ground for ages. How long? What, like 45 seconds? And then he just rubbed it on his arm and put it back on the shelf. That's fucked. Anyway, that's actually not what I want to talk about. My question is when was your partner right? What was?

So I have talked about this a few times that I love to have a coffee in bed and I'm not allowed to because I'm too clumsy. And Torb says, sweetie. You're just going to spill it. You're just going to spill it. Don't have a coffee in bed. I'm not allowed to spill it. You're just going to spill it. Don't. Have a coffee in bed. I'm not allowed to eat in our house with a white shirt.

Yeah, unfair. It'll end up on your shirt. It's going to end up on your shirt. It's just going to be a mess. Then I'm going to have to wash it and deal with it. We're having Indian bit of curry. Not in that shirt. No. So you're the same.

Banned from having coffee in the bedroom. I'm not allowed to eat or drink coffee in bed. And, like, I don't like it because I really like waking up and still being warm and still like, you know when you're, like, lolling around in bed and you're just like, oh, a little coffee and, like, going through my phone or, you know, so nice. And guess what? And so because Torbs is.

The policeman is out of town. Yeah. The cat's away. The mice will play. Well, mice it up, dog, because guess who's having coffee in their bed? Yeah. So I thought, fuckin' A. Torbs is gone.

Fuck that guy. I'm going to wake up early before work, make myself a coffee, hop back into bed, pop the TV on, do some more prep for work or do whatever I'm doing. Just have a real nice, cosy morning doing what you love to do. What I want to do. And I thought, I can do this. I can handle this.

What was the name of this story again? When was your partner right? Where do you reckon my bed sheets are at the moment? In the bath, ready to be washed. Yep, in the washing machine because there's coffee all over them. Yep, all over my pyjamas, all over me, in my hair. Like it just, basically the coffee exploded. How?

It didn't explode. It did. It came out of nowhere. That sounds like you're blaming the coffee. Came out of nowhere. All right, let me ask you this. How many sips of coffee did you have cleanly? Two.

So hang on. You got a whole cup and you go bang, gone. Dead. And did you miss your mouth or did you bump the whole cup? I was like. Were you laying or sitting up? No, I was sitting up and I'm not that fucking stupid. It says two sips Tony.

Two sips Tony. So I'm sitting in bed and I'm like balancing my, like I'm holding the cup and I've got my phone in my hand and I think I just kind of like fumbled with the thing. You are a fumbler. I'm just pretty clumsy. And you're the same. Excuse fucking me.

You are the same. Look how stubborn you're being. I hope that you're right all the time. Anyway, turns out, Torbs, I'd really like it if you're being. I hope that you're right all the time. Anyway, turns out, Torbs, I'd really like it if you're listening to this, please come home. There's coffee everywhere. Yep. So, hate to victim blame myself, but I was asking for it. And I'm like, so there is a reason that he said that.

That's good. Good to know. I mean, not that there's any signs of it, but it sounds like you need to hang on to Torbs for your dear life because you would be a complete mess without him. Exhibit A, the first 30 hours you've spent not around him, you're capitulating in front of us all. Yeah, I'm a fucking mess. All I've eaten is bread and spilled coffee all over myself.

Like, it is not a good, I'm not having a good run. Let's do your things you love to see. To try and like, you know, put a smile back on your dial and unstress yourself. Have a look at this. Tell me what you see here. That's your mum! Yeah, and what's the picture?

The community program handbook. It's like a community handbook. It's a community handbook. Living handbook. It's like a community handbook. It's a community handbook. Living and learning. It's like a big pamphlet. So when you go to the Living and Learning Centre, you get the pamphlet and my mum is a cover girl. Oh, my God, she's a model.

Look how happy she looks. She actually does look very happy, doesn't she? Oh. So mum, semi-retired-ish. She used to be principal before that, a school teacher. And the thing she taught at school was art. She was an art teacher. And so now that she's got more time, she's doing...

Your mum is such an art teacher. She's got, like, she always wears funky glasses and she's really happy and... So she's getting into her painting and doing art and so they're taking some photos of the class and they go, hey, we're making a brochure or a pamphlet. Do you mind if we use some of the photos? Mum goes, yeah, yeah, whatever, do whatever you want.

But she didn't know she was going to be a cover girl. God, flip to the centre and open it up. She's probably a centrefold on the inside as well. Mandy laid flat. That's just a joke. That's my mum. That's your mum. Yeah.

Sorry. But a cover girl nonetheless. Oh, Mandy. Oh, you fucking love to see that. You love to see that, don't you? Oh, do you reckon you could get me a copy? I'd love one. Yeah, I'll go get some today.

Yeah. When I'm at the Living and Learning Centre with the old people and my arts and pencils. In the Shire of Nillumbik. Nillumbik. Nillumbik. Beautiful. Oh, well, my love to see it now seems a bit shit.

Your mum's not on her? Well, the last time she was on the front of a brochure was, you know, the funeral proceedings, so. Shit. Yeah. But the cover. I mean, she looked great. Yeah.

Yeah. It was taken before, obviously. Yeah. You don't love to see that. Well, I saw this really funny tweet. As we all know, there's been a crash in the crypto world over the last week. Crypto's down.

Crypto's dead. Not the only thing. I'm sorry. My mum is not a currency. She's a beautiful woman who has sadly passed away. Your mum's living and learning. She's all good, mate. I'm glad you're really fucking happy.

Anyway, there's been a big crypto. I'll have to call your mum after this. There's been a big crypto crash. Everybody's fucking talking about it. And there's a tweet from Maddie Smith that went viral. Not to brag, but I bought a bunch of crypto in October to impress a guy and now I'm down $10,000 and he's engaged to someone else. Not to brag, though.

Don't you love it when a flex goes wrong? The amount of things I've done to impress boys and that have gone down the fucking toilet afterwards. Like what? Say one thing you've done to impress a boy. The tattoo that I have on my shoulder was to impress a boy. And that is awful. See you tomorrow.

Meow. Do you actually like it? I don't mind It's not my favourite And he didn't fuck me So who cares Well he didn't He's the one that got away The boyfriend or the tattoo artist?

He wasn't a boyfriend He was just this guy that I liked Was it Robert Pattinson? See you tomorrow Love you bye