Toni and Ryan - Sleeping with Celebrities

Episode Date: September 27, 2021

Today we need to chat about Mean Girls, and also how that ties into sleeping with a celebrity. Plus we cover what you can say during an EARTHQUAKE and in the BEDROOM. Have your say on our pod in our Facebook Group! Love ya! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Melody speaking. Hey, Mel, it's Tony and Ryan. How are you doing? Hi, I'm good, thank you. Hi, Mel. It's so nice to chat. You too. We were just wondering if you would make our day

and get your approval for the podcast. Oh, 100% I approve. Oh, yay. That's amazing. What are you up to this morning, Mel? Oh, not much, just lazing around. Oh, it's a bit like that, huh? Yeah.

Are you in lockdown as well? Yes, unfortunately. Yeah, it sucks, doesn't it? Yeah, I feel you. Mel, thank you so much for listening to the pod and reaching out. It's an honour and a privilege to have you on today, all right? Yeah, thank you. Awesome.

Perfect. Hey, Mel, thank you so much for listening. We honestly really appreciate it. And when you send lovely messages and, like, want to approve the pod, it honestly makes our day and we are so freaking grateful because we love doing it and it's awesome to see that people love it. Thank you so much. I was listening to the podcast just before as well because I just keep

re-listening to them because I love them so much. Oh, that's so lovely of you. We should maybe make some more then, Tony, so you don't have to keep listening to the same three episodes. Alright, well, we'll hang up on Mel then so that we can get started. Alright, Mel, you have a great day, alright? You too. Thanks, girlfriend. Bye. Bye. Hi, it's Mel, and I approve this podcast. Welcome to the podcast. How are you? I'm well.

How are you, Tony Lodge? Yeah, good, thank you. Last week in Melbourne, where we live, there was an earthquake. Wild. And James McDonald put a thread in the Tony and Ryan podcast Facebook group saying, you should do things you can say in the bedroom and also during an earthquake. I would also love to point out that there actually hasn't been an earthquake in Melbourne in like 10 or 15 years. So for us little, we're really innocent to earthquakes.

Yeah. It was the craziest thing to happen in our life. Yeah, it was really, really wild. And the last one of the same magnitude that we experienced was in Perth in like 1977 or something. Really? Yeah. It just doesn't happen to us.

No, no, no, no. We're not like on a fault line. We just do bushfires and? Yeah. Just doesn't happen to us. No, no, no, no. We're not like on a fault line. We just do bushfires and lockdowns. We've got our own problems. Yeah, we've got spiders to worry about. So a lot of people who found this podcast have found us through our awful pickup lines and things you can say in the bedroom. So coming up in this episode, things you can say in the bedroom and also during a Melbourne earthquake. So that's coming up soon. bedroom and also during a Melbourne earthquake. So that's coming up soon.

But, Tony, it's time to chat about, would you say, your favourite film? It's a real classic, isn't it? It's a film everyone's seen. Mean Girls. Mean Girls. Now, when did it come out? 20 years ago? Oh, yeah, I think it must have been about 20 years ago. Let me have a look.

We were going to, I said this in the podcast yesterday, we were going to do a poll about what movie we should do and we said, oh, let's put Mean Girls as an option. Then we both just laughed and decided to do Mean Girls nonetheless. 2004. Yeah, so almost 20 years ago. That's crazy. Yeah.

So, Tony, why was it that when I mentioned the movie Mean Girls, you kind of like sat up in your chair and got all excited? Well, so when we talked about Mean Girls, I feel like it's one of those movies that no matter what quote you say, everyone knows what you're talking about. Everyone's seen it. And it was almost like I don't even need to rewatch that. Yeah.

But it reminded me immediately. So one of my best friends when I was growing up, Maddie, who I'm still very good friends with now, we did ballet together. So we were together all the time. You were a ballerina. Yeah, yeah. That's so cute. Thank you.

Do you still have your tutu and stuff? I don't have a tutu or anything, but, like, I've still got pointe shoes. Could you do a spin for us one day? I think they might be here. They might be in Perth. So my boyfriend, Torbs, his mum has a lot of our stuff in storage from when we moved across the country. So she might have them.

I'll make a call. We can make that happen. So my friend Maddie and I, we used to spend literally every single day after school together and then over the school holidays we would be together nonstop. And we would have been like 13 or something and we were swimming in the pool and it was getting really, really dark and this is just like a cute anecdote story. It was getting dark and we were like, oh, my God,

do you know what we should do? We should go inside, have a shower and watch Mean Girls. And we were just chatting in the pool. And by the time we came inside, my mum had gone to bed. Yeah. But on the kitchen table she left like two packets of popcorn and some ice cream. She left a little note saying like ice cream in the freezer

and the Mean Girls DVD on the table. What a treat. Yeah. What a treat. And I just always remember walking in and being like, oh, my God. Well, first of all, I was like, oh, my God, Mum can hear us from out there. Like that's not good.

What have we been saying? But, yeah, so whenever I think about Mean Girls, I think about that little story and how my mum was like, oh, I'll get it ready for the girls. I'll go to bed. They can watch TV. Oh, that's cute. Yeah.

Yeah, that's super cute. And also how, like you said, you were 13? Yeah, must have been. A teen movie when you're like 12, 13 is the most like scandalous, exciting. It's very exciting, right? They're like, talk about boys and like all this stuff. And now you watch it and you're like, it's so tame.

Yeah. But when you're young, you're like, oh, my God, this is, like, full on. And also thinking about the DVD. Like, when last night literally I was cooking dinner and I was like, hey, Google, can you play Mean Girls on the TV? Like, DVD, get out of here. Oh, sorry, it's doing well. Like we said, it's almost 20 years ago.

Do you feel like sometimes when you watch movies from 20 years ago, especially comedies, and not that there weren't a few, but sometimes you watch them now and you go, That hasn't aged well. That's not probably kosher in modern times. And sometimes the jokes are a bit like, eh. Yeah. But I reckon 99% of the stuff in Mean Girls is still funny and relevant

and it actually, if it came out now, you'd be like, that was a funny movie. You'd still think it was funny. Yeah. I think that there were definitely a few things that they said that I was like, oh, wouldn't put that in a movie now. But, yeah, it's still great. And the greatest movie since Mean Girls, maybe controversial opinion,

Bridesmaids. Bridesmaids, good, but I don't think. It's like a classic. Everyone's seen it. Yeah, I don't know if I've watched Bridesmaids the 15 times that I've watched Mean Girls, though. Oh, I watch Bridesmaids like once every six weeks. Really?

I watch it all the time, yeah. I think why I've got such a fascination with Mean Girls, maybe not fascination but like so into it, is that in Australia on Channel 10, I reckon they played it on TV once a month for five years. Yep, every Saturday night Mean Girls would be on. And so one of my good mates, Liam, he used to live 300, like his mum's house was like 300 metres from my mum's house.

Cute. We used to hang out and whatever. Yeah. And every time Mean Girls, it was, you know, it just come up as a promo. Oh, tonight on 10. Yeah. Mean Girls.

And I'd like, we'd text each other and be like, oh, Mean Girls is tonight. And, you know, we'd go around and watch it. That's nice. It almost became a joke that we'd watch Mean Girls. You're like, of course we're going to watch it. It's on. Yeah.

But Liam's actually done something that's ruined that movie for me now. Oh, you're not friends anymore. We're friends. Should I talk about this now or should I talk about it later? Well, I was going to talk about Mean Girls, but we can talk about Lame instead. No, but he's done something to the movie. Oh.

Well, all I was going to bring up was that I just realised, so I watched this last night as a little refresher. I just realised that the Burn book is like, ooh, burn, that that's why it's called that. You didn't realise that in 2004? No, I just didn't really know what it meant. I was like, it must be an American thing and it was like Burn book, but it's like burns, like insults.

And you learnt that last night? Last night it clicked. I was like, oh, my God, that's what that means. Thanks for coming in today, mate. Yeah. Thanks for paying attention. Yeah. And the other thing that

it reminded me of was that, so we have a lot of Americans that listen to this podcast. Welcome. Thank you very much. G'day. Have a Foster's? As we throw a shrimp on the barbie? Like ride my kangaroo to school. We've got a lot of Americans that listen to this and they might not actually realise that our school years are completely different. Yeah. So in Australia, we go to school from February to December and that's like an entire school year. Yeah.

But in America, they go to school from like July till June or whatever. Yeah. Like it's like from summer to summer. Yeah. And it's the same here but obviously out. It's round the other way. Yeah. So you know how in the middle of the movie when they're talking

about trying to set Aaron to walk in on Regina and Shane Oman and then so there's like the big scene where they do the winter talent show and then they go like, oh, over Christmas break we just like had some time off, now we're back. Our Christmas break in Australia. It was like 15 weeks. It's like seven weeks long. Yep.

And so I was like, oh, just missed seven weeks? Like, you're just like, oh, no school, so, like, we're not going to bully her anymore. The writers just really glazed over that one. Yeah. And it really, really confused me and it wasn't until. Until last night? No, no, no.

This one I already knew. But it reminded me last night that they need to set that up better. They need to show people because I was watching that and I was like, so eight weeks have gone by and no one gives a fuck. And that's really annoyed you. So is this what you would prefer? That the movie like cuts like an edit point and then it cuts to like the director in the edit suite of Mean Girls, Tina Fey,

and Tina Fey sitting there on like, you know how the director always has that weird director's chair? Yeah. And then Tina Fey's just looking down the barrel of the camera going, Tony, so just to let you know, we're actually in the US so it's actually only eight days so hopefully that makes sense for you and the rest of the audience. Hey, guys, just reminding you that in America we only take two weeks off.

Sorry, was that a really bad accent? What are you doing? That was like an American accent. What are you doing? Do that accent again. Hey, guys. Cancelled. Cancelled.

I'm not going to get cancelled, but I'm not good at accents. I'm actually just not good at accents. Tony doesn't know what's on tomorrow's episode yet. So when she says she's not good at accents. I'm actually just not good at accents. Tony doesn't know what's on tomorrow's episode yet. So when she says she's not good at accents, listen to tomorrow's show. That's all I'm going to say. I watched two days ago and what is good about a great movie is that you can watch and every time you watch you pick up on something you might not have picked up on before. Yeah, the Burn book. Yeah. What I picked up on, the storyline about Regina George

and Lindsay Lohan and the Mean Girls is actually irrelevant. Mean Girls is a movie about Janice Ian, Damien and Kevin G. Oh, yeah. They are the three best characters in the whole movie and I actually kind of lost interest in the Mean Girl thing. I just loved scenes when they're involved. Now, I was about to play the audio of Kevin G. Well, I've got it here.

Yo, yo, yo. Oh, you suck at MCs. They've got nothing. But then I learned that someone I know actually knows that rap better than Kevin G himself. But then I learned that someone I know actually knows that rap better than Kevin G himself. So, ladies and gentlemen, can I introduce Tony Lodge doing the Kevin G rap?

Oh, you sucker MCs got nothing on me. From my brain to my mind, I can't touch Kevin G. I'm a mathlete. That's the verdict. Get what you heard. James Bond III, Shiggy Nuts, Sir Kim Nip pour. The G's silent when I sneak in your door and make a love to the woman on the bathroom floor. I won't play it like Shaggy. She'll know it was me because the next time you see it, she'll be like, oh, Kevin G. That's enough

Kevin. Happy holidays, everybody. And Tina Fey sitting at the piano like. That is so good. Thank you. That is so good. Fucked up a little bit in the middle, but. That was good. That was good. Now, did you know? Yes. No.

I don't know. What Kevin G's up to now? What is he up to now? Have a look at this picture. Okay. Can you describe that for people? He is ripped AF. Is he a model?

How gorgeous is Kevin G? He's so good looking. Holy moly. model. How gorgeous is Kevin G? He's so good looking. Holy moly. And he is not Kevin G-esque. Like obviously he's a character and played by an actor and stuff but with like especially teen movies you kind of

assume that someone who's like playing the wannabe gangster probably thinks he's a bit of a wannabe gangster. He's like an artist. He specialises in calligraphy and does beautiful things. He's written a book. And he looks now like an unbelievably beautiful man. He could literally be on the cover of a magazine and you wouldn't question it.

Three votes, Kevin G. Holy moly. How good's he doing? Wow. Katie Richards in the Tony and Ryan Facebook group said that she had a wide-set vagina and a heavy flow. Yeah. Everybody thinks I'm lying about being a virgin because I buy

super jumbo tampons, but I can't help it that I have a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina. You are great at accents. Thank you. I'm also just good at quotes. I've got a very good memory. Really? Yeah, I do have a good memory.

Can you remember the first time we? First time we met? Yeah. Yeah, I walked into a pub memory. Can you remember the first time we? First time we met? Yeah. Yeah, I walked into a pub and you were having a meeting with our boss. Well, he's still your boss. I don't work for him anymore. And you were sitting down and I walked in and you went, oh, half day, mate. And you like threw your arms up in the air.

It was a pub and it was like 11.30 in the morning. And I'd been working on Breakfast Radio and we walked down to the pub to have lunch and you were having a meeting with our boss. Good for me. Thank you. Good memory. I remember what you were wearing as well. What was I wearing?

You were wearing like a beige button-up top, like a button-up shirt. Me wearing a button-up shirt? It was like a summery, like, festival shirt. Very unlike me. Button-up. You were wearing a button-up last week. Trying to impress, trying to get a job. Worked.

All right. Can I tell you about Liam and why I don't like Mean Girls? Oh, please. Yeah, so petty reasons to not like a movie. Well, it's really ruined this movie. So Liam and I used to watch it together. All the time. All the time.

Like how long ago are we talking? Oh, we were in high school, so 15 years ago. Right. Jeez, I'm old. But every time, I can't see Mean Girls and not think of Liam. Okay. Because we watched it together so many times. Yeah.

And I thought that because of something that Liam did, now I can't enjoy Mean Girls. Maybe that made me really petty and stubborn. But you're still friends? Yeah. Only just. Hanging by a thread. No, no, we're friends.

We're friends. He's helped me through thick and thin, that guy. Heanging by a thread. No, no, we're friends. We're friends. He's helped me through thick and thin, that guy. He's actually one of the loveliest guys we'll meet. Okay, I've never met him. Did you want to come around? We're actually in lockdown. Stay away from me. Okay, sorry.

So I asked the group, the Tony and Ryan podcast group on Facebook, is it wrong that I don't like movies for a petty reason? That something between Liam and I is that bad of me? Uh-huh. And it turns out I'm not alone. No, I love petty shit and I think that I haven't looked at the comments on this post but I think that it's going to come true that people are the same.

A different Katie said, I can't watch Mary Poppins the musical or any movies or any actress that's ever been anything to do with Mary Poppins the musical or any movies or any actress that's ever been anything to do with Mary Poppins. My ex worked in the musical theatre and he cheated on me with an actress in the show. So anytime I even hear a song from Mary Poppins, it reminds me of the ex that cheated on me and now I can't enjoy anything Mary Poppins related.

A spoonful of sugar is not going to help that medicine go down. Andrew worked in a video store when The English Patient came out, you know, that movie. No. No, I don't know the movie. Do I need to know the movie? No, no. But the manager of the video store loved The English Patient.

But the manager of the video store was also an arsehole. So now he can't enjoy that movie because he knows the arsehole manager likes the movie, so now he's off it. It's like when you really like a name, like if you're thinking about baby names or you meet someone and you're like, oh, I really like you, but someone that bullied me in primary school had that name and it makes me hate you. Gone, gone.

So many people just said, I can't look at Tom Cruise's face. Jordan said, I can't stand him, his attitude, his face, what he did to Katie Holmes, everyone's favourite sweetheart. It's like even if the movie's great and he, you know, there's I guess no questioning his like talent as an actor, but they're like, I just can't with Tom Cruise. And so many people were like, oh, my God, I thought I was the only one. He's got that air of cockiness, doesn't he?

Yeah. He's got just that swaggy kind of thing and I'm just like oh you just think you're good mate Heather Martin said I refuse to watch the new Space Jam movie Because I'm so angry That they made the second one Not using my idea Just before you go on

Don't fucking worry about it It's absolute dog shit Keep going The new movie is fucking crook. Well, Heather will agree. My idea, said Heather, who doesn't work in the industry. She just got an idea. My idea that it should have been with a different sport

and not just a basketball movie. So you could do Space Jam but like a football or a baseball or something. But then it's not a remake. I also love Michael Jordan with my whole heart and refuse to accept LeBron James as even close to his level. I believe Michael Jordan is so much better than LeBron James, I can't watch Space Jam. That actually doesn't sound like a petty issue. That sounds like you've got a lot going on. That's not petty. That's you thinking that you're a better

movie writer and director and also that you love sport and it's not that petty, actually. And Blake said, I hate the movie Moana. And Blake said, I hate the movie Moana. The movie itself is fine, but I used to live with a woman who was obsessed with it and used to dress up as the characters most days around the house. She used to dress up. As Moana.

I never liked this woman. She strikes me as the kind of person that would be all up in your business telling you what you're doing wrong with your life while simultaneously being a loser in her own. I cannot watch Moana without thinking of this person and I never will get over that and accept it. It's Moana. Are you mansplaining?

Yeah, I am because it's Moana. What did I say? Moana. What did you say? Moana. Moana. You're saying it like Goana, but it's Moana. What did I say? Moana. What did you say? Moana. You're saying it like Goana, but it's Moana. It is.

Anyway, I do this thing and it's really annoying and anybody that has ever been around me would know that I do it. When I sing a song, if I'm just like being silly or whatever, I will say meow. So instead of being like la, la, la, la, la, I'll be like meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. So there's this song. Why?

I don't know. My friend Aiton does it. You're allergic to cats. I know. Poor John. My friend Aiton does it and whenever we watched Moana together and after the first time we watched Moana, there's that song and it's like I've been standing

at the edge of the water. And so whenever I think about Moana, there's that song and it's like, I've been standing at the edge of the water. And so whenever I think about Moana, all I want to do is meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. That is irritating. Yeah, it's really annoying. That would ruin movies for me. And because we were just talking about it, I had a compulsion to tell you that story.

It's not very good. We can cut it out. But meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. I reckon this will be one of those things where people go, oh, I really love the Tony and Ryan podcast, but now I found out that. Now I've found out. Now I've found out that Ryan can't talk and he's having a conniption in his face.

I'm very good at editing. That's why it sounds so normal. He doesn't even speak English. I just get him to moan sounds and I just edit it together into the English language. The reason I don't like the podcast is because I know that Tony meows songs instead of singing them. Well, I sing too. I'm just always making noise. A truer word has never been spoken.

I'm just always making noise A truer word has never been spoken I'm just always making noise So whether it's meowing or singing or talking Anyway, back to your thing What did Liam do? I need to know So Liam was travelling And he was in Los Angeles Yeah And he knows that it's important to the two of us and our friendship

about our love and respect. For men girls. So he's at a party. And the actor who plays Damien turns up. I was like, this is great. Tell me everything, Liam. Like, we love this movie. Did you, like, get a selfie? Yeah. Whatever, blah, this is great. Tell me everything, Liam. Like, we love this movie. Did you, like, get a selfie?

Yeah. Whatever, blah, blah, blah. Or did you get a voice note on your phone of him being like, I want my picture back. Yeah, right. And he's got so many funny lines. See, I'm such a good friend. I would have done that for you.

Thank you. Yeah. And I was like, can you, yeah, get him to do a voice message for me. Just take a photo. Even if a photo with you, I'd be like, this would just make my day. This would be so great. Because I, and like I said before, it's his movie. And it's also just like a personal joke between the two of you.

Yeah. So what do you think Liam did? Nothing. He played it cool. He tried to be cool. Quite the opposite. He went over to him and went, oh, my God, me and my friend Ryan watch your movie all the time.

It's always on Channel 10. He took Damien home. Yeah. There are a few of them there, actually. And now every time I see that movie, all I can think is my mate hooking up with the best character in the thing. So when I was watching Mean Girls the other day. He must have real game.

What do you mean? Liam must have real game because to hook up with a celebrity, I mean, I could ask your wife for some tips on hooking up with a bloody celebrity, mate. But he must have fucking turned on the charm. But he must have fucking turned on the charm. Imagine meeting a celebrity and then actually... Picking them up. Picking them up.

Or conversely, celebrities would just go around picking up anyone. Not anyone, but they would just be like, yep, another night out, meet some fans. You've seen Mean Girls, right? Get in the cab. Yeah. So now every time I watch the movie, that's all I can think about. I think that you're looking at this completely the wrong way.

How so? You should be looking at this like, my friend, fuck that dude. How good is this movie? How much better is it? Well, but it's a distraction because the whole time I'm watching it going, I'm just thinking about Liam. Now, I think you should be grateful for the experience that you got vicariously through Liam. It's one of those things like, you know,

when someone you know has met someone famous. And because in Australia, we don't see famous people ever. I see you every week, obviously, but apart from that. When you see a celebrity, it's very exciting. My boyfriend, Torbs, saw Russell Crowe in an airport once like 10 years ago. And he's still telling the story. He tells me the story all the time. Russell Crowe's on the TV.

Oh, did you know I saw him in an airport once? Yeah, and because at the time he was eating a parmigiana. So every time he eats a parmigiana, he goes, Oh, I remember that time I was eating a parmigiana and I saw Russell Crowe in the airport. Like every fucking time. Who's the biggest celebrity you've seen? We talked about this.

It's the Dalai Lama. Oh, of course. Yeah, what a stupid fucking question. How dare I? I you've seen? We talked about this. It's Dalai Lama. Oh, of course. Yeah, what a stupid fucking question. How dare I? I mean, I didn't hook up with him, obviously. You weren't trying hard enough. Did you try it on? Nah.

Why not? Were you single at the time? No, I wasn't. I was dating Torbs. Well, that's the only reason. Oh, yeah, yeah. He tried it on with me. I went, I'm sorry, I've got a boyfriend.

And Dalai Lama's like, well, is he committed? And you're like, Dalai, he cleaned my fucking poo off the chair, mate. I mean, we are solid. Unlike the... Yeah, that wasn't solid. That was a liquid. Hey, it's Mel, as you've already heard, it's going to be interesting because Tony is going to be talking

to people who listen to our podcast in their native tongue. Because as you know, Tony, there was a post in the Facebook group by Tessa who said, tell us where you're from. Yep. And I'm going to get you to speak in their language and accent back to them. Oh, okay. Good. All right, so that's tomorrow.

However, as we mentioned before, there was an earthquake in Melbourne last week. Wild times. Wild times. Not any damage. It wasn't, I guess. One building got damaged, but no one was hurt, thankfully. The building had pre-existing health conditions. Really, in the grand scheme of things, not a big deal.

But for us, it was just a big shock because we just never have them. No pun intended. And I think as well, there's so much going on in Melbourne at the moment. We've got protests, riots, lockdown, and an earthquake was just the icing on the fucking cake. Yep. So, yeah, the icing on the fucking cake. Sorry.

So James McDonald posts in the group, I think you guys should do things you can say in the bedroom and also during an earthquake. What a great idea by James. Great idea. This is things you can say during the Melbourne earthquake and also in the bedroom. Should I point out that a lot of these are contributed

by you listening? Or did you? Oh, I didn't do that. I made up my own. Yeah, me too. I prefer original content, mate. Well, I prefer to celebrate our community. Yeah, great.

But Tony isn't because she's selfish. Please take it away. Yeah, great. But Tony isn't because she's selfish. Please take it away. Stop shaking that. Well, that woke me up. God, I hope there's no damage. Oh, my God. Someone check on grandma. Wow, you're really rocking my world.

Let's get ready to rumble! Oh! Gosh, haven't felt that in Melbourne before. That's her name. The dog was terrified. Question. Question. If a pet's in the room, you don't care?

Would you get up and move them out or just let them watch? I feel like leaving them in the room is okay. Sorry. But if they start moving around or trying to get amongst, they need to be removed. I would have thought so. Yeah. Quick, get down.

Hold on to the door, Fame, and brace yourself. Oh, be careful when you get up. I think that headboard's going to bang itself through the wall. Oh, that turned me on a little bit. Really? Yeah. Oh, my God. I've got to go.

Someone's into earthquakes. God, wonder what that hit on the Richter scale. After that destruction, I'm sure there's more than a few gaping holes in this town. My next one is, oh, that is absolutely destroyed. Same brain. Hey, Tony. What?

I didn't say anything yet and you're snorting. That's not one of them, by the way. Hey, Tony. Squealing like a pig. Yeah. Scaring on like a pork chop. Hey, Tony. Yeah?

What do I and the Melbourne earthquake both have in common? You've only come once. I'm sorry. We only come once every 40 years. No, we both shake a little bit. We both don't last more than 10 seconds and you'll rate us both less than six out of five. a little bit. We both don't last more than 10 seconds and you'll rate us both less than 6

out of 5. That's good gear for you, mate. Very funny. Fuck, I hope our insurance covers that. You're on the phone to Medibank Private. I've been destroyed. Whoa. That's a huge crack.

Oh. You can fall through it. Swallow your heart. Are you hurt? Or do you want to be? Sexy. I think this is what everyone said in Melbourne. Is that it?

Oh, God, that's going to be on the news. Oh, God. Should we go and check on the neighbours? Can you hear that? There's a little snort at the end there. Oh, just, again, you love to see it when you write your own gear. I just love it. You do love to see it.

Sorry to just jump on the bandwagon of the earthquake. Something I've loved to see, which I'm going to put it out there, is the original OG meme. Yeah. It's the white plastic chairs sitting around on the garden lawn. One of the chairs has fallen over and it's like, we will rebuild. As soon as the earthquake happened, I was just like,

well, I'm going to go on Twitter and see who's the first person to post that meme. And then sure enough, the first thing at the top of my feed, oh, there it is, the old girl original meme she's back and you're right we will rebuild my um favorite meme at the moment is the one with the Venn diagram and it's like somehow we've reached this point where it's the end of the world and we still have to go to work and then in the middle I just wanted someone to post like and there's been an earthquake and we still have to go back work. And then in the middle I just wanted someone to post, like, and there's been an earthquake and we still have to go back to work. Literally there was an earthquake, then I'm like,

okay, I better keep typing up this document. Well, we were on the group chat for work, and there was a bit of like, do we have to keep working now? Like, the earth took for eight seconds. We surely have the day off. Yeah, surely there's, you know, something in my contract. Things you can say in the bedroom and also during an earthquake. Surely we don't have to work

after this, right? I'm going back to bed. Well, actually, surprisingly, My You'll Love to See It is also earthquake related. I really enjoyed the break from COVID chat. Oh, how good was it? All the memes coming through

online, everyone chatting about it. Oh, how good was it? All the memes coming through online, everyone chatting about it. Oh, mate, bless you. Sorry about that. Sorry, where were we? Just said I liked the break from the COVID chat with the earthquake. It was great. Another earthquake just occurred. Well, they say an orgasm is the equivalent of eight sneezes, isn't it?

Is that real? I don't know. So if I sneezed eight times, I'm going to cum. It's like graphics. Bars of the pepper, folks. Like the earthquake, I'm like... You're right. Let's get the fuck out of here.

See you tomorrow. Bye!