Toni and Ryan - Socks in the Bedroom

Episode Date: October 24, 2021

Ryan wants to know about how we all feel about socks in the boudoir, and I have a stigma to break with us Melburnians coming out of lockdown FINALLY. Also, sorry George Wendell about the feedback xxx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Now you've reached John. Please leave a message after the tone with your name and phone number, please. Thank you very much. G'day, John. Tony and Ryan here. Sorry we've missed you, mate. Give us a call back on the old number. What's the number?

131065. Yeah, catch you, John. Cheers, mate. Yeah, cheers. Oh, okay. Cheers, mate. Yeah, see you. Catch ya.

Hello? Oh, look who decides to answer his phone. Yeah, bloody hell. Oh, look who decides to answer his phone. Yeah, bloody hell. Oh, my God. I cannot actually put into words the devastation I have felt. Have you guys seen my slew of messages? Well, I actually... Seeking forgiveness and love and...

I actually did just jump into the Facebook group because I saw there was a few people waiting to be approved and I jumped in and I went, oh, we've got to call Jono back because he's beside himself at the moment. I am gutted. And you know, you can't even send images in Patreon where I was going to celebrity name drop. I was going to do everything, you know. Anyway. Hey, just a quick quiz question for Tony. Now that we've heard

Jon's voice, where do you think Jon is? Well, I'm assuming he's in America. Oh, that's offensive on multiple levels. Because is he from Canada? Because I hate that. I am so Canadian right now. But also, where are you in this moment? Where am I? Do you know?

In Canada? I'm in Perth. I'm from Perth! Your hometown of Perth and you accuse him of being American. Oh, that's not good. They'll write about that in the Rollerstone Korea. Are you from Rolling Stone? No, but I've spent heaps of time up there. A little bit. Oh, whereabouts do you live in, mate? Oh, I'm near Morley in Naranda. Oh my god!

I used to live in, like, near Whopper. Yeah. Yeah, that's like five minutes from my house. So close. Yeah, like Mount Lawley. Oh, nice. Yeah, Morley Galleria, the Mo Chacho's there, bloody great burritos.

Just like to send a shout out to everyone who's not Tony or John who's listening to the most boring conversation right now. Mate, we've heard you chat about Eltham, okay? It's all right. Well, John, finally we've got on to you. Are you willing to approve this podcast? I absolutely approve this podcast. Imagine if you said no.

Well, I was thinking I was getting called to be cancelled here. Like, I was sweating. I think if people want to cancel, not the approval, but just John, if he deserves to be cancelled like an influencer who spruced something that's not good for them, let us know in the group because I'll cancel it. I'll get on that train. You're a bandwagoner for sure. Yeah, I'm a bandwagoner.

Jump on everyone, please. That's what I need right now. I'm feeling very fragile today, I have to say. Well, you didn't answer your phone. Obviously, something's going on. Yeah. Well, I will tell you I was mopping the floor and I went, oh man, I should just grab my phone. And I went up to see three missed calls, a voicemail. I was like, oh my God. I knew exactly what it was.

Couldn't get in touch with you guys. And I went back to mopping and I broke the handle. I was in such a rage. Yeah, I can't believe you didn't answer our call because you were mopping. That's fucking boring. It's terrible. And it is, like, uncharacteristic of me. I hate doing the floors. So I'm not.

I mean, no one loves it. It's John from Saskatoon in Perth, and I approve this podcast. Do you want to be buried or cremated? Cremated, I think. Same. I'm terrified of being buried alive, so if I'm burned, then that's it. What if you get burned alive? Then I'm dead and I won't know. No, but you would be in pain because they set you on fire.

Temporarily, but I think that pain would be less than the pain of being in a coffin six feet under knowing that you're just going to sit there and rot. That would be really freaky. Yeah. If I do get buried, I want the door to have a handle on the inside and just to be about five centimetres under so I can be like, oh, my bad.

Just open up. All right. What if we come up with like a secret knock and two days after you're buried I'll come along and if I hear... ..I'll know that you're alive and I'll pull you out myself. Yeah, but if it's like... Oh, no, that's not the right knock. Oh, no, yeah.

Sorry, bud. He must be dead. That was quite a cute joke from us. Yeah, good from us. Dark. Not really because we're alive. I mean, it is Halloween week. Welcome to the podcast.

Sorry, Tony and I are just chatting about our deaths. Yeah. Torbs, my boyfriend, reckons he wants a Viking funeral where they, like, shoot, like, set you off at sea and then shoot, like, a flaming arrow onto the thing and set you on fire and let you just go off into the ocean. But I said, I don't want you to do that because I would like your ashes pressed into a diamond that I can wear.

Really? Because you can do that, yeah. Is that a bit creepy, though though or is it a nice touch? Oh, my God, I really like that. It's very just a permanent reminder of, I mean, that's the point I guess but just. I mean, I think that the sadness in your heart is another permanent reminder.

I might as well get a nice piece of jewellery out of it. Sure. True, true, true. Welcome to the podcast. Welcome. Tony and Ryan hanging out of it. Sure. True, true, true. Welcome to the podcast. Welcome. Tony and Ryan hanging out with you. I'm Tony. You're Ryan.

Thank you. I am just the... Butter to my bread. Butter to your bread. Vice Captain of the ship. I really like butter. Do you? Yeah.

That's surprising. Is that a fat joke? No. No. Good. No, it's not. This week is Halloween week or the build-up to Halloween. It is Halloween week.

And on Thursday there is going to be an extra episode this week, a Halloween special. Giving you a boner. So that's on the way. Also in this episode I'm going to tell you how you can earn $30,000 just by sitting on the way. Also, in this episode, I'm going to tell you how you can earn $30,000 just by sitting on the toilet. I do that all the time. I know.

Everyone who listens, well, most people do. And so just by listening to this podcast, you could earn $30,000. So that's coming up. What have you got, Tony? As everybody knows, Melbourne has been in the longest lockdown of the world. We're out, baby. And we're out. We're back. We're good to go. We can do anything. We're out, baby. We're back. And we're out. We're back.

We're good to go. We can do anything. We can start a podcast. We're both double vaxxed. We can go to restaurants and stuff. But I do have a few little anxieties about opening back up and it has brought something back to my attention that I would like to break the stigma over and I think it's something that a lot

of people can relate to. Anyone with a bum. Anyone with a bum. Anyone with a bum. Or a fanny. Both. Both. Lots of both. Everyone has at least one.

That is true. At least. We're really performing for the masses. Yeah, an average of 1.5 of those things. It's very inclusive. Tony, last week you said something that says a lot about who you are as a person. I say a lot of stuff. And this topic, people are going to learn a lot about themselves,

about what you wear on your feet and what it says about you and what you wear on your feet in your bedroom and what that says about where you're up to in your life. So first of all. Okay. Last week, I don't know if it was on the pod or not. I think we might have just been talking about it. You said that people who get home take their shoes off but leave their socks on are disgusting.

What is wrong with that? Because your feet have been in your shoes all day. So those socks are like a bit like sometimes they're like a bit moist from sweat or they're like a bit stinky or whatever. But also when you get home, you want to kick those off and just like not be wearing shoes and socks anymore. So I would just like to flag I don't have a problem with like bed socks or slippers or anything, but people that get home

and the same socks that they would wear in shoes, like an ankle sock, lame. So are you implying that you, someone who sits at a desk, edits audio during the day, gets sweaty feet just by sitting? No, but like if I've, I mean, working from home, I'm not wearing shoes and socks. So you barefoot at home? Yeah. So when you get home, both shoes and socks off? Yes.

Isn't that more gross to have your smelly feet just floating around? That's a good point. But walking around in just ankle socks just freaks me out. You know when people, like, post on Instagram, they're like, oh, I just got home from work or whatever, they, like, do a story. I'm just like, why would you only wear socks? Go and put your boots on. Or like I wear socks and Birks a lot.

That's a statement. It is. But only ever nice fluffy socks that look good. Okay. My next question. Yes. Do you wear socks when you go to bed? No, never.

Because they sleep off and it gives me anxiety. Yeah, because you've got loose fluffy socks floating around in the bed. No, never. Because they sleep off and it gives me anxiety. Yeah, because you've got loose, fluffy socks floating around in the bed. I'm the same. No, thank you. If I was, where's the coldest place ever? If we were in Antarctica. Antarctica. If we were in Antarctica, darling.

And I went to sleep in a tent and it's minus 50. I'm taking the socks off. Socks off. Good. I'm so glad we're on the same page about this. No, because then you've just got flaccid socks floating about and then you flip your shunkle shunkle your doona in the morning, shunkle it, and then all these socks fly about.

Yeah, you don't want that. Yeah. What do you think about people that wear socks during sex? What is the situation? The situation is you and your partner are in your, like, you're at home in your regular bed. Yep. And, you know, it's not an out-of-the-ordinary date night special occasion.

It's like we've gone to bed and it's on or we've woken up the following morning and it's on. Just what I would say, yeah, run-of-the-mill ordinary session. Okay. Session. Okay, mate. What's a better way of saying session without session? Oh, I don't know.

You don't like that word? Okay, I'll take that out of rotation. It makes it sound like it's a real hoot nanny. A what? I don't know. A cattywapsness. A cattywampus. Yeah.

I don't think the sock thing bothers me as much as movies have told me it should bother me. It bothers me to no end. Oh, really? If someone had their socks on still, I'd be like, why would we even bother? I guess the thing is like you're naked except for your socks. I think that's what freaks me out.

That's what freaks me out. But like if you were like say it's a one-night stand or something, like, which I don't understand because I've been together with Tulps for, like, eight years. But if you were, like, you got home from the bar. And you've got no game. Yeah, I've got no game. I'm such a loser.

Say you get home from a bar or whatever and you're, like, quickly getting undressed, then I think that that's probably fine because it's, like, oh, my God, there's so many things happening. But, yeah, if you're just at home, I think that wearing socks is lame. So it's never happened to me. I've got a friend who their partner is always sleeps in socks, socks all the time, always got cold feet. They sound like they suck.

That's what I said. Yep. And he was like, yep, and even when it's on, like, oh, because, you know, she hates when she gets cold feet. Not like the metaphorically one, but like literal cold feet. And I just remember thinking of all the physical feelings, the emotional feelings, the spiritual feelings, if the one thing that you're concerned about in that moment is,

oh, my tootsies are a bit fresh. You've given up. It's over. Think about something else. Maybe think about what's going on. That's what I mean. Like there's a lot of things happening generally. You'd hope so for her sake.

Hopefully there's lots of things happening. She's reading a book, got her socks on. She's like, just tell me when you're finished, mate. She's like, oh, I'm loving Harry Potter like I can't put it down. And this is what I said to him. If your partner is wearing socks while you're doing it, you guys need to change something up and have a think about where you're at and if you've given up. Do you think, are you coming at this like from a laziness perspective or are you like, oh, it's just not sexy all she

would have to do is take those socks off i just think that in that moment if your biggest concern is i might get cold feet then you're not how much are you really into it but what if that just really throws her off and she's like i just can't think like i just can't concentrate on what we're doing because my feet are cold maybe Maybe I just don't like socks. Maybe that's my issue. Do you wear socks with your shoes all the time? Yeah, because I don't want, like, sweaty feet with no socks. Yeah.

That'd be gross. And I would always be bare feet or shoes at home, never just socks, until I stepped on glass a few weeks ago. Oh, yeah. And now I'm scared to have bare feet in the house. Because you've, like, had to have an x-ray. It's a whole thing. Like, haven't stopped hearing about it.

I was going to say, do you want an update? But it appears that you have heard enough. No, I have an update. But I do have a quick question, though. You know when people come over and you're like, oh, someone's coming over to have dinner, do you put shoes on in anticipation of them coming? Because is it weird when people come over and you're like bare feet

but you know that they're going to be coming over wearing shoes because they've like parked their car and walked to your apartment or whatever. Do you think it's weird if you came to my house and I had shoes and socks on? I think shoes and socks are fine. Just like I said before, I'd be like shoes and socks or bare feet if it's like a summery day and they're over to like lounge on the couch and watch the cricket and have a beer or

something and everyone's sort of, you know. So depending on the event? Yeah. Yeah, I think so. If they're there for sex, socks off. Nothing, nothing. Well, speaking of having people over, we're allowed to do that again. Yes. It hasn't happened in a very long time. I saw this very cute Venn diagram online. It was like me being excited about lockdown ending, me being really nervous about lockdown ending. And here's me. I think the excitement of leaving and being terrified of leaving the house equal amounts for me. Seeing people around and lots of people at one time is like, oh. I think the thing that does give me comfort is like knowing

that in Melbourne to go to any restaurants or anything, you have to be double vaxxed and you have to scan your certificate and stuff so you kind of like at least you know the people that you're around are doing the right thing. They're only in places where they should be. Oh, it just occurs to me when my anxiousness about going out and about has nothing to do with COVID. Oh, it's just like the people anxiety.

Yeah, like lots of just I'm so used to being in a room with no one else or just one or two people. That's true. The thought of being like even when the supermarket's packed, I get a bit like, oh, and I'm like standing in a line and I'm like claustrophobic and there's lots of people. There's lots of people talking to me at once because I'm at a party and I'm like, oh, there's just like a lot happening

that I'm not used to because I've been at home by myself for so long. That's a good point, actually. The actual disease never occurred to me. Yeah, I think most people, I keep thinking that they're like anxious about COVID. But, yeah, it's probably more just like getting back into the zone of chatting with people and all of that.

Well, it's raised something for me because we were talking about this earlier. I haven't used a public bathroom in like two years because we haven't been able to go like to a pub or using like a shopping centre toilet and all of that stuff. So besides the two bathrooms in your house because you have two bathrooms. Must be nice. You haven't been anywhere else?

Well, not really, because you can go to Coles and you can't do away at Coles. Yeah, you can. No, you can't. Well, not like in the aisle, but there's like a bathroom there. Well, if you're in a shopping centre, there would be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, yeah, I haven't done anything like that. And I was going through the notes in my phone

looking for something and I found this thought that I'd written down ages ago in your journal so I just write notes about everything my iPhone is full of notes like there's some that I came across that like at 2am I've written like I've obviously been out on the beers with friends or whatever and like written random stuff down and be like, this is the perfect idea. I love that because often I'll wake up and go, I had a world-changing idea. I had the next Uber idea at 3am last night. What was it?

Couldn't tell you. No, so I always write those down. Good, yeah, I like that. So my notes are just full. I regret bagging you out for your journal because this is a great idea. I'm all for it now. Can we call it the journal? The journal, please.

Maybe a segment. Tony's journal. Journal me. Well, I found this thing where I had written down I would like the stigma around start farts to be removed. Let me explain. What's a start? Yeah, please, please.

One of my best friends, Elena. I'm sure she'd love to be named in this topic. She coined this term, start fart. Yep. When you, I don't know if boys do it as well, please enlighten me. When you sit down to do a little wee. Well, I can tell you right now, guys don't do that. Oh, well, Torbs always sits down to wee.

Really? We're going to. Don't worry about whatever you're going to talk about. No, let's keep talking about the journal. always sits down to wee. Really? Don't worry about whatever you're going to talk about. No, let's keep talking about the journal. Okay, write that down for tomorrow's show. I'll put it in the notes with the journal. Thank you, please. So when you sit down to do a wee, often for girls, there's a little fart at the beginning.

Little start fart. Little start fart. Gotcha. When you're in a public toilet, if you feel the start fart coming, you can't let it out because how embarrassing people are going to hear your start fart. Right. I would like the stigma of noises and smells and everything

in a bathroom to be removed. You're going there for one specific purpose. If I let out a little pfft, that's fine. I don't want to know that the hot girl in the toilet down from me is going like how embarrassing the chick down there has just had a start fart. Hopefully a start fart catches on. But if everyone does it, then they're just judging,

the people who are judging are creating this world where that's not acceptable. Like I, so I used to work in an office and there was someone that used to always go into the bathroom at the exact same time and it would be really stinky. What, so their daily? You knew that they had gone and done a poo because if you walked in there you'd be like, oh, that same person's been in here

at the same time every day. How many stalls were there? There's two. Right. So do you just try and make sure it's the other one with the less warm seat? Yeah. And I remember hearing like a couple of girls gossiping one day

in this office. This was ages ago. And they went, oh, like there's someone in the toilet pooing and like that person's not at their desk so I know it's them. And I was like, let's fucking grow up. No, let's not do that. We're going to the toilet to poo. Yeah, that's what they're for.

Unless you're a rich celebrity doing cocaine in a bathroom, which we cannot relate to. But that's not a workplace event. No, that's like. We would have hoped not. You're like in LA doing something, then people might be doing things other than pooing in a toilet. Well, if you're that rich, find somewhere else to do your drugs

instead of doing it off some toilet seat in a workplace. Where I need to do a wee. Yeah. Or a poo. Where I put my bare cheeks on. My little bum. Anyway, and I just think now that we're returning to the world, I should be allowed to do a little...

Little start fart. Little start fart. Should I need to? I shouldn't be embarrassed for that. No, you shouldn't. Thank you. So I would also have been a person who was concerned about this thing because I'm like I don't want people to like think about that when I'm in there

or if I like did a little start fart that I now know the term. I don't want to be like judged for that. Yes. So if you're standing in a urinal and you do a little fart, you couldn't, right, because there's boys there. Yeah, but it depends on the- Do you look at other boys' willies when you're at the urinal? No, it's a big misconception.

And girls, for some reason, can't fathom that you wouldn't. I can't. I actually can't. I also think, like, in a workplace situation, again, that if you were standing there and you were drawing away, but then, like, the boss walked in, are you not looking at the boss's willy? No.

I just feel like you'd be like, ah, my willy's out. You're concentrating on not pissing on the fucking floor. You're concentrating on what you're doing and it's eyes up. Like it's even more up. You're pretty much looking at the roof just to prove that you're not looking. That you're not looking. Yeah. Do you talk to people at the urinal?

Often, yeah. Oh, you do? Yep. So you're holding your willy but it's all good to be like, oh, mate, have you got that report yet? This will freak you out. Okay. When you're at a place like the football or a music concert,

it's not uncommon to have a room probably the size of this studio, which is, what, seven metres by six metres, to have 40 blokes in there and the whole room is just a piss tray wall and there's probably 35 dicks out at any one time. And are you chatting? Well, it's at the footy and everyone's like, oh, bloody bazaar, yeah, he's having a good one, isn't he? Or people just talking shit or they're like, you know,

talking about beers and they've had a few and whatever and it's just like there's 35 dicks out and no one's talking about their dicks. They're doing their business. Talking about their thing, yeah. It's as if they're in the bar. Yeah, well, I guess like there's that thing of drunk girls making friends in a toilet.

In a bathroom. Yeah. I used to love those memes where it's like, shout out to my best friend who I met one time four years ago at three in the bathroom. She gave me the best life advice. Yeah. Like I recently did a cull of Facebook friends

and there were people on there that at 2am I've gone, lesbian friends on Facebook. Oh, that's so lame. Or like, let's follow me on Instagram. Like, I just love your earrings. We'll have coffee. Oh, my God. So to answer your question, the start fart.

Yes. Depending on the environment. Uh-huh. Like if you're at a football game, it could just be on and everyone start farting and lighting the place up. I worked at an accounting firm where I thought it would be like fancy corporate. Oh, that's what I thought you were going to say. No start parts in sight.

As soon as you enter or as soon as you exit regular people area and enter the men's room, it was like all bets were off. It was like an orchestra going off all day. And you know what was the weird thing? When I first walked in there, because there might have been like seven stalls or whatever, and it was like there was a football game going on there. There was just sounds happening. And I was a bit like, oh, jeez, what the fuck's going on?

And then I was actually strangely comforted by that because I was like, oh, I don't need to pretend that I'm not going to start far. I can just be part of the crowd and no one gave a shit and it could be one of the other seven blokes in here at the same time. And once everyone's cool with it, then it's fine. Instead of judging everyone and being those hot girls who are deciding who's pooing, oh, it's 7.44,

it must be Tanisha's off for a daily one. Yeah. No. And that's what I don't want. And like I said, we're being released back into the world. I would like to remove all judgment of a public bathroom because I've been pooing and weeing and farting in my own toilet with privacy for all this time.

I'm not keen to look back. Yeah, I'm with you. We're looking forward. I'm with you, yeah, 100%. Thank you. I have one extra thing to add to this conversation. Please. I am not adverse to this kind of conversation because it's natural

and everyone does it. Yes. I have these conversations with you. Yeah, but not your wife. Because, and let me just put this on the record, my wife Bridget... Doesn't poo. Never has and claims she never will. Is that from her?

Or, like, has she decided that that's the... She hasn't decided. That's what she says is fact. But so... So she says that and you're just like, okay, cool, we don't talk about this? No. She'll be like, oh, you know, I'm parking the car.

She's like, oh, hurry up, I need to go to the bathroom. I'm like, oh, I need to have a poop do. She goes, no, I don't do that. So I'm waiting for the day when she finally admits it. So has she ever, like, eaten too many spicy dumplings and, like, you know, been in a bit of a bad way and then said to you, like, I'm not well? Yep. Oh, but she'll just say I'm not well.

I've got a bit of a sore tummy, yeah. Oh, you're not pooing, eh? No, I don't. I don't do that. Oh, my God. I literally send Torbs updates of my poos. Please don't. Not, like, photos or anything, but, like like I'll just be like, oh, my God,

like I've pooed three times this morning, like a bit random. Literally before I left the house this morning, we had that conversation because we had a few beers last night. We're open. Out of lockdown. Yeah. A few people around, get your swerve on. Yeah, woo, getting loose.

But, yeah, so then this morning woke up, like had a coffee, watched the movie for the week. Yep. And then just before I left, I was like, yeah, I've already done three po, like had a coffee, watched the movie for the week. Yep. And then just before I left I was like, yeah, I've already done three poos this morning. Like how crazy is that? That is crazy. And I actually love and I'm jealous that you guys are at that stage.

Well, you can call me with your poos whenever you want, mate. Now, at risk of this being another bathroom heavy podcast. Oh, I'm so sorry, everyone. Up next, how you can earn a lot of money from using the bathroom. It appears we're all doing it. Have we all been? Is this too much toilet chat? Do we need to rearrange the schedule?

No, no, we'll stick with it. I reckon stick with it. People just don't eat your breakfast. It's too late. Too late. It's over. Hey, it's John, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. This week is a special week on the Tony and Ryan podcast and a special week around the world because it's Halloween

or as some pronounce it, Halloween week. So normally we have an episode Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, but this week on Thursday we've got a Halloween special. It's a hell of an episode. Hell of an episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, yep, yep. Hell of an episode. Okay, so that's coming out on Thursday.

And tomorrow, things you can say in the car and things you can say in the bedroom. And I'm nervous about this week. They're a bit more graphic than usual. There, I've said it. How are they more graphic? Oh, yeah, some of mine are a bit graphic, I guess, actually. We also want to say a big shout-out to our champion tapas.

Champion tapas, here we go. Ryan Nielsen, thank you so much. Evan Christensen, Victoria Harshaba, David Wilson, Peter Montez, Andrew Gray, Jonathan Decker, thank you so, so much. The big deck. Yeah, the big deck. Yeah, you're right. James, Patrick Shorgnessy, Caleb White, Jordan Dermott, Matthew Chu,

Donnie, thank you, mate, Madeline Carmichael, Danika Miu, Eason, is it Eason? Eason. We learned that during the week because we have sent personalised videos to all these people as well. Not all of them yet, but yes. We're getting through the list. We are getting through the list because, as you can hear,

there are a lot. Zach Smith, Nicholas Myers, thank you so much, and Jason Carswell. And do the rest tomorrow. All right. Because there's 7,000. 7,000. Thank you so much to everyone who has joined the Tony and Ryan Patreon.

The names of people you just heard were some of the champion tapas. Now, this is the last week of October. Yes. We said for every one person that joins in October, we will eat one nugget in one sitting. I believe we're at... 541, Brian, is the number you're looking for there. So what's that, 270 nuggets each?

And we're going to chat about some strategies for the nuggets in our bonus Patreon episode this week. That's coming up. A little bit of feedback from last week. Well, actually, did you want to start? There's some feedback there. So we chatted about if you'd ever been to a sex party, part of an orgy or whatever.

And the etiquette involved in an orgy. The etiquette involved. And that if you had done it, we just wanted you to comment or message us. I have. Because I was curious to know, is there snacks? Is there drinks? Is there small talk?

Is there someone shaking espresso martinis and all their bits are jiggling around, which actually sounds kind of nice. Yeah, I don't mind that. Espresso martinis are a definite choice, though, considering what's about to happen. Yeah, because you might shit yourself. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, we read out a few people's names who had said that they'd been part of it. Yes. And I said, Ryan, you cannot read out their names, so we beeped them. Yeah, and in hindsight, as soon as you said we can't just name and shame these orgy loiterers, I thought, you're right. I feel terrible.

Beep the names. So you did beep them in the edit? Is that right? So I beeped most of the names, yes, and then you said, but don't beep these ones. And we kind of said, oh, this person, Loney, or this person, Cryin', you know. So like code names.

A bit of a code name. I got a message from George Wendell. You're naming him, eh? Reading his name out again. He said, so I like how you beeped out most people's names and not only used other people's first name only, but my full name got read. Not mad, was just surprised.

And I said, sorry, George. Ryan went full rogue. And he said, no hard feelings. I did put the info out there, so all good. Just thought it was funny after all of the bleeping out name rhymes with blah, because we said, you know, like George, more like smorge. I got put on blast. And then I replied, things you can say in a Facebook group

and also in an orgy. I bet you wish you didn't just have a big cup of water to say. No one can say that. I just had a big sip of water, as Tony said, and then I laughed so hard the water a little bit trickled out of my nose. It's all on the ground. It looks disgusting.

Anyway, so George Wendell, so sorry for outing you. Somebody's been to a sex party, but George Wendell, we love having you a part of it and it's so great to hear from you, George Wendell. And George Wendell, I don't know if it's just George, but not many blokes make me squirt, but when he said that, the liquid that came out of my face then, and like you said, it was a bad time.

Have you met George Wendell at a sex party? Is that what you're saying? Well, I haven't seen the front of his head. Oh. A boy once said to me, if you ever need a picture of the back of your head, let me know. And I thought that was pretty sexy. How did you, did you know him?

Was that just at a bar? Yeah, it was like a boy I went to uni with. And he said. And he was kind of like, you know, if you ever need a picture of the back of your head, let me know. And I literally was like, need one now. And then what happened? Nothing.

So this guy's trying to pick you up. He says this great line, you're impressed by it. And then you just walked home. I probably drove, but yeah, I guess. I just, I'm not good at that. Like you said earlier, I've got no game. How embarrassing. Well, it is embarrassing because he sounds great.

What's he up to now? He actually is doing very, very well. I bet he is. He's got a long-term girlfriend. He works, I think he's just left his job actually. And she'd be hot too, wouldn't she? Oh, she's gorgeous. He's got game, man.

He's a really great guy. His name's Sean. Sean, if you're listening, shout out. And I'm sorry about Tony because that is a great line. It was pretty hot when he said it. I'm surprised you should have said to him, oh, right back at you. I'll peg you if you want. So last week I mentioned that I had to call a plumber to the house.

Yep, because you did a big poopy. No, and it turns out that it was the Melbourne earthquake ruptured the pipes. They had to dig up the backyard. The courtyard is, yeah, a full reno job. And it was embarrassing because when the plumber rocked up, I had my Facebook page open. So this guy walked in to see me looking at photos of myself. Your glamour shots of yourself. Yeah. And then proceeded to wade through my excrement. And it's just an awkward situation. I mean, we all poop, but, you know. Yeah. Hannah, who is a tarper.

Hi, Hannah. Tony and Ryan podcast, by the way, that's what tarp stands for. Yeah, put a tarp down. She said, there's a story from my family involving plumbers that is now known in family history as Poonami. Yep. And here's a way you can earn lots of money, because I was mentioning that there's a way of earning money.

This is it from Hannah. Last year, my brother, who is 15, took a shirt that was so massive it wouldn't flush. It was so massive my dad had to go and cut a branch off a tree in the backyard to use the stick to, like, chop it down and chop it up so he could, like, push it through, which is so embarrassing. Oh, my Lord. In Hannah's language, to try and break that bloody monster up,

says Hannah. Holy moly. Our property, we have four toilets. They doing all right? Oh, yeah, must be nice. Two in the house, one in the garage and one in the shed. What? What kind of life is Hannah and her brother living?

Who's got a toilet in their garage? It's actually pronounced garage. Well, it's not garage. In the garage. What are you saying? Garage. Someone's fancy. But it's definitely not garage.

It's like garage. Garage. No, but there's an A before the R. You're saying garage. Don't talk to me like so aggressively. It's garage. Sorry, mate. My brother and his one massive poop managed to block the whole system

on the whole property. So all four of them were unusable. The toilet in the garage overflowed and flooded the entire garage with shit. I'm not even kidding. It was more than ankle deep and seeped up the walls in the garage and our garage is... Stop saying garage. The word has lost all meaning now.

Hannah, can you please only tell stories of words I know how to say, which I'm admittedly is small. It's very limited. You couldn't even say that. So she said, my dad used to collect old couches, old furniture, you know, he'd do up stuff. So it was one of those garages. Like full of things that need to be upholstered.

Yeah, so basically the room out the back that starts with a G and ends in a Raj. The G was full. The G was full and it was ankle deep full. So the G was ankle deep in poops. The G was ankle deep in pee. Yeah. We had to hire people to clean the literal shit out of the G room.

My parents. The G room. Let's call it the G spot from now on. Yeah, I love it. Call it the G. My parents contacted the insurance company. Like it got to that stage. Imagine that phone call. Yeah, hi, my 15-year-old has destroyed all four of our bathrooms. Yeah, and our G is full of P and we need to get it O. And we're F'd. Yeah, and our G is full of P and we need to get it O. And we're F'd.

Yeah. They thought maybe we might get a couple of hundred bucks to just pay back the labourers we had to hire to clean the shit out of the G room. Instead, we got a payout of $30,000. Just because my brother takes mad shits, says Hannah. You can follow Hannah on Instagram, by the way. Her name is Hannah, spelt with 15 A's and four N's. Oh.

My brother had aspirations of becoming an architect, but now he brags that no one will be able to earn as much as he did in a day that time he took a massive shit. He said maybe I could go and shit around in other people's houses, flood their places and split the payout with them 50-50. I mean, that is insurance fraud. Hey, I'm not here to point fingers or aim arseholes. Then Hannah goes, see, I was all for Hannah's story until this point.

Oh, yeah. And she said the expenses were just like the time and the embarrassment. There's no way it cost. She's like, yeah, they profited. It wasn't like it was a big job and they got paid for it. They're like, we got a check for $30,000. That's so good. So good.

No offence, Rai Rai, but your story is shit compared to my family's cashed up Poonami story. Oh, okay. Well, it wasn't a competition. Hana. You said that that's her Instagram name. That's her name on Instagram. How do you say it again?

Hana. But thanks for contributing some feedback this week. Thanks, Hana. And if anyone else wants this week. Yeah, thanks, Hannah. And if anyone else wants to top my stories, then, you know, bring it. Start your own show, fucking whatever. Welcome to the Tony and Hannah podcast. All right, now a final piece of feedback. Oh, I hope that Hannah doesn't think we were being mean.

Love you, Hannah. Well, she called me out. Yeah, she did. She's like, hey, Ryan, you're a piece of Well, she called me out. Yeah, she did. Imagine that. She's like, hey, Ryan, you're a piece of shit. And I'm like, oh, that's a bit mean. She's like, oh, how dare you? Oh, she's like, your story was crap. You should have told my story. Well, we didn't know it until now.

And now that I have heard your story, I agree that it's great and I've shared it with the people. Let's knock Hannah off her pedestal. Someone send us a better story. A better poop tune? Poop tale? Better poop tale about your G full of P. Yep.

We want to hear it. All right. Now this is a collective feedback, which I think has been, for lack of a better word, brewing for a while. You might need a stick to push this one down because it is big and beefy. because it is big and beefy. One of the first themes of this podcast was that I have bad recommendations. Yep.

And it has become apparent to the thousands of people in the Tony and Ryan podcast Facebook group that, in fact, maybe it is Tony who only likes shit films and that I, Ryan, am maybe not great but just not as bad as I was pointed out to be. Yep. Have you seen these comments? Yep. The tide's really turned on me. It really has and I think the tide is right and the tide is high.

The tide is high but I'm holding on. You're so bad at songs, you never know them. Sorry, we're actually talking about your ability to pick movies. Okay. Not my ability to know songs. Okay. What do you to know songs. Okay. What do you think I am, some music announcer on a radio station? Why should I know anything about music?

For people who don't know, that's literally my day job. Your day job. I talk about music and I don't care about any of the songs that I play. But I love Kiss 101. I like the tunes, but I don't know anything about music or musicians. Should I say that? Probably not. All good.

All good. Yeah, sure. So here's the challenge for you. Yes. Right now, and maybe I can ironically play a little bit of music if you need some thinking time. I want you, Tony Lodge, to tell myself and the 9,000 tarpers in the Facebook group, what is one movie that you think is great

that we can all watch and we will all agree is a great movie and we will judge you and your ability to recommend films based on this one movie? Fight Club. Incredible movie, incredible book. Everyone likes Fight Club. Is movie. Incredible book. Everyone likes Fight Club. Is that a book? Yeah.

Chuck Palahniuk. Yeah, I make up names. It's incredible. Like the book is really, really good. The movie's awesome. The person who did the book, The Daughter, is now the Premier of Queensland. Yeah.

Balochet. Yeah. Nice. So Fight Club. Fight Club, like it's a crowd pleaser. People love that movie. There's Twisters, Turns's Helena Bonham Carter, Brad Pitt is shirtless, Edward Norton's in it.

He's not just shirtless, he is jacked. Fuck, he's... Yeah. You're right. You missed that sound. It was... No, we got it. Now, are you just saying that...

I'd let him take a picture of the back of my head, that's all I'm saying. I'd let him fill my G with P. All right, so are you just saying that because... And I don't disagree, it's a great movie. Yep. Are you saying that because it's like an easy, great one or is that like your favourite movie?

It is one of my favourite movies. I really, really like Fight Club. Okay, I won't judge you on this, but what is your either favourite or like maybe favourite two or three movies? So I love Fight Club. Easy A, I mentioned last week, I really, really like that movie. I tried to watch it. I couldn't find it.

It's really hard to find. Oh, really? I think on Amazon Prime, but I tried to log in. Oh, it's a whole thing. Logging into Amazon, then they're trying to sell me stuff. I'm like, just deliver the stuff I ordered last week. Oh, yeah. Well, so I told you to buy The Massager. So I bought The Massager. And it's been a whole thing. Logging into Amazon, then they're trying to sell me stuff. I'm like, just deliver the stuff I ordered last week. Oh, yeah. Well, so I told you to buy the massager.

So I bought the massager. And it's been a whole thing. It's in transit. The guy said he dropped it off in the mailroom. I don't have a mailroom, bro. You either dropped it off or you didn't. Turns out you didn't. And your butler would have signed for that anyway.

Fuck. He wouldn't have. Your cleaner. Because he doesn't exist. Your cleaner would have. They don't exist either because we're in, I didn't get to finish that story that I was whinging about off air. We're in a lockdown.

The cleaner rocks up to the house. I'm like, you're not allowed in my house. Oh, my God. How annoying. Yeah. And then they've charged me. Is she coming back this week? Yeah, because we're out of lockdown.

Yeah, nice. Yeah, tackle that oven, mate. Yeah, because you can't clean your house. Too busy. Lots on. Don't you dare. Don't you dare. Anyway.

So Easy A, Fight Club. Easy A, Fight Club. Ooh, what's another movie I really, really like? While you're thinking, I watched one of my top two movies ever last week. Yeah. The Prestige. You keep talking to me about this and every time you say it, I think about Step Brothers, Prestige Worldwide.

You know how that's like the company they start? You know, I get it. Could not be more different. Oh, what other movies do I like? EZA, Fight Club. What's Eating Gilbert Grape is a really, really good movie. Don't know if it's one of my favourites, but it is very good. Yep, yep.

Okay, no, I think that's enough. I think that's enough. I like shit with depth, but I also like dumb movies. Yeah. Like I love watching garbage. Like I just do. I really love watching like shit TV. Hey, coming up on Thursday, by the way, for our Halloween special,

we are watching Scream. The movie. Yeah. Not the act. Yeah. That really hurt my throat. It hurt my ears. Oh, mate, get over it. Yep. Not the act. Yep. That really hurt my throat. It hurt my ears. Oh, mate, get over it.

Sorry. If I had a dollar for every time you'd look to me in the eye and said, that hurt my throat, I'd be rich. Oh. And guess what? I've got a cleaner. I am. Oh, you're good for it, mate.

Well, might you love to see it this week? We actually just covered because I was really happy that you took one of my recommendations and bought the massage gun off Amazon. I did, yes, yes. It's so good. And everybody actually on Instagram has been messaging me, asking me for a link.

I'll pop that up on my story. Sweet. Not sponsored, just really good. But Ryan hasn't gotten it yet, so I expect a full review next week. Massage gun, I'm still yet to know. Delivery of massage gun, not a good one. Not great so far. Last week we were talking about massages.

Oh, my God. We are on the same wavelength today. We so are. We are on the same wavelength. All right, let's do that thing where we don't look at each other and clap. Okay. All right, so look away and just when you feel the time to clap, we'll clap. Okay.

That was pretty close. That was pretty fucking good. I was watching in the window. Wait. Yeah, it was. Someone in the group said that they are a hairdresser and they often do the hair wash and the scalp massage. So my, you love to see it, is that.

How good is that? There is nothing better in this world than being at the hairdresser and they, like, get the warm water and they dig their fingers in. And often hairdressers have their nails done. Yeah. So it's like a little... They're in the beauty industry. It's a long fingernail.

It's like rubbing on your head. It's orgasmic. You pay, as a girl, it costs me, as a fake blonde girl, it costs me about $400 or $500 to get my hair done when I go to get my hair done. It's expensive as fuck. How often do you do that? Like once every six or seven months.

Like I never, ever get my hair done. As you can tell. I can tell, mate. And it's worth, the $500 is worth it for that fucking orgasm that you get to have there. So sometimes as a guy, when you've got short hair, they often don't like need to. And I'm like, I'm here for a reason, mate.

You're doing it anyway. Get me, get me head in that sink and start rubbing. Yeah. That's what I love to see. I me head in that sink and start rubbing. Yeah. That's what I love to see. I could do that for you after this if you want. Just give you a little rub. Would you? Yeah.

Mate. Mate's rights as well. How much are you going to charge? Haven't decided yet. 50 bucks. That's pretty good, actually. Hey, guys. Between now and tomorrow's episode,

I'm going to have a good time. And I'm going to have 50 bucks. See you tomorrow. Bye.