Toni and Ryan - Soy to Sushi Ratio

Episode Date: August 20, 2023

YOU WILL DEFINITELY AGREE I AM USING THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF SOY!!!! Love u xoCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Hello. We are calling Estonia. Have we had an Estonian approver before? I don't recall. And given that we were just chatting about what's the area code, I'm guessing that we haven't come across this one before. Well, we're calling the 372, baby, and we're calling Teal.

Hello? Hello, is that Teal? Yes, that's me. Have I pronounced thatal? Yes, that's me. Have I pronounced that correctly? I think that's Ryan. I know it's actually Teala, but unless you're a student, it doesn't make any sense. Teala.

Teala, yeah. It's significantly sexier the way you say it, though. Teala. Yeah. Beautiful. Beautiful. I love that Ryan's gone for the yuckest pronunciation. Yeah, Teal. Yeah, Teal.

Hi, Teal. Well, yeah, fair, fair. Yeah. And you approve this podcast? I do. I approve Tony and Ryan's podcast. Woo-hoo! Perfect, perfect.

Hi, this is Taylor, the first approver from Tallinn, Estonia, and I approve this podcast. Coming up today, we are going to indulge. It's a daughter double feature. We are going to be just loving our daughter Sick, my daughter Mabel and Tony's daughter Pippa. Yeah. Are we comparing?

Are we playing them off against one another? No, absolutely not. Because I'm here. Good women raise good women. That's up. Yeah. You know what I mean? No, no. What are you saying?

Women raise women up. Like girls supporting girls, that thing. Mabel has discovered a power move. Oh. Yeah. And she's getting a bit of chewed and she's decided like. She's sassy. I'm not just going to cop what's coming my way. I run this place.

Oh. And she's done. They do say that that happens, don't they? Yeah, and she's. There's one specific move that adults can't do or like physically can do, but like it's different when a baby does it. Sure. Cheating themselves.

Yeah. Well, and I want to know if anyone else's child is pulling this power move. Oh. And has Pippa got a power move? What's she got? It's not a power move, but I think it could be a superpower. That's coming up next. Yeah.

Okay, great. Say no more. Take some notes. Young girl's getting shit done. Question without warning. Oh. Should soy sauce be free when you get takeaway sushi? Yes.

We all agree on that? Yes, 100%. It's a consumable. I think it's just something that you put into your business budget and you go, I know that that's just something that we just invest in. Okay, we can all agree on that. Do you know what would be really nice as well? Sorry, you've really caught me at a bad time.

Okay. You know what would be really nice? If they had a tiny little sachet of, like,pie or a little like you do love a kewpie and it's it's yum i don't think about putting kewpie mayo on sushi and when we had it was it yesterday or the day before when it would be a regular sushi you like just disappeared into the work kitchen and then came back with a kewpie mayo. And can you describe my face? We had a little crispy chookie. When you walked out.

And you went. And you can hear and see what that would have looked like. That audio is enough for people to know what that was. Yeah, because I didn't even think of that. But as soon as I saw that, I was just like, yep. Sushi plus Kewpie equals. So you know how the sushi soy sauce comes in little fish? Yeah.

Little things. It's very cute, isn't it? So how many of those per sushi? What's the ratio? Well, if it's a long sushi, like the hand roll, I reckon I could probably do... I'm not a big soy sauce person, so I might not be the right person to ask,

but one little fish would last me three hand rolls. Oh. Yeah. Yeah, what would you say, Cam? Two to three. I reckon you're close to, if you're splurging, a full fish on a hand roll. A fish per roll? No way.

Okay. Oh, bloody hell. No. Well, see, it's like you. Excuse me. You're the reason why it's not free because you Well, see, it's c***s like you. Excuse me. You're the reason why it's not free because you go, oh, three-hand rosy egg, you better get seven little fish. You've got to.

Yeah. No. Okay. No, because then you keep a couple for yourself. Yeah, go extra for the fridge. Yeah. Go extra for the fridge. No, but then you know.

No, because then you know what happens. What? What happens in two months? Oh, what are all these little fish doing? You throw them in the bin. There's fish all over the office at my desk at the moment. Because one day. And one day I'm going to throw them all out and go,

what the fuck are all these fish for? One day you're going to rock up here with sushi and go, oh, fuck. I forgot the soy sauce. But I won't. I've got some Kewpie in the back. Nice. And I've got some soy for you. I don't think that I don't personally need that much.

I'm not like a massive salty person. It's strange because you're a salty bitch. Yeah, thanks. But I reckon that, yeah, one little fish could last me two hand rolls to three hand rolls. Okay. I could stretch that. No worries.

Okay, this is not helping my story. Okay. How much are the little fish? Well, they're usually free, you would hope. Oh, are they free? I'd hope so, yeah. Oh, well, they're usually free, you would hope. Oh, are they free? I'd hope so, yeah. Oh. Well, they should be free anyway.

But then, so the place at Vic Gardens. Yeah. Sushi Hero. They've just got like a tub at the end, so you kind of just help yourself. Because sometimes, you know, if they put it in the bag for you, they can kind of keep an eye on how much soy they're dishing out. But with this one, they're kind of like, yep, soy's over there. Oh, so you've just got free reign on the soy sauce. Yeah.

Or as many little fishes as you want. Sometimes I'll go one fish per roll. Like if I get two rolls, I'll get two fish. So the other day I bought. Can I say something? I reckon that it wouldn't matter how much sushi I bought, I would pick up three. I think that automatically I would pick up three fish. One roll, three. Like if I was only getting. Ten, three. I think that automatically I would pick up three fish.

One roll? Three. Like if I was only getting one roll, I wouldn't pick up any. What? I don't think. So you know what I did the other day? I bought one hand roll. They gave it to me in a little paper bag and I chomped on that as I was walking around the shop.

Yeah, that's good. Because I was like starving and Torbs was like, you're being a bitch. Like you need to eat something. Someone put some salmon in her. Yeah, like you need some fresh salmon, dog. And I was like, you're being a bitch. Like you need to eat something. Someone put some salmon in her. Yeah, like you need some fresh salmon, dog. And I was like, okay, yeah, that's fair enough. I don't think I've ever had sushi and made it back to the car with the sushi. Really?

Because, yeah, you just chomp it on the way out. So the other day when we got sushi all together, did you have a cheeky one before you got back? No, no, no. If it's for like people and we're going to sit down and eat it. But if it's just me like getting a sneaky one on the way home or something, like, yeah, that's not making it to the car. But I reckon if I bought three hand rolls like just for me yeah or if i

bought six or seven if it was like torbs and i or if it was the three of us and i bought fucking 10 or 11 hand rolls i think regardless i would pick up three fish that's crazy sorry so when i when i bought sushi for the whole crew the other day. Yeah. Krushi. Krushi. I didn't think, oh, there's nine or ten rolls I'll get. I just literally shoved my hand into the soy thing and just grabbed a full fist of little fish soys. And put it in the pocket of my denim jacket. Oh, my God. What were you, heisting them?

Well, yeah, it kind of felt like that. But I was like, because I was like, oh, there's ten. It's like I've got a big order. I've given them a heap of money. But I just grabbed a full, like I didn't count it, just a full fist. Did you double fist regular soy and GF soy? No, because I knew I had a couple of spare GF soys from last time still on the desk. You didn't think to replenish your stocks?

Yeah, nah. So, yeah. For gluten-free people, I've only just learned this, that soy sauce is just gluten. It's just gluten, Tom. Because I was like, why is sushi doing this? Sushi is pretty safe. And you go, yeah, that soy sauce is just gluten. It's just gluten town. Because I was like, why is sushi doing this? Sushi is pretty safe. And you go, yeah, because you're smothering it in gluten. Yeah.

One fish per roll. No wonder you're shitting yourself all day. Oh, well, see, that's why I don't know that I need to be gluten-free because I'm not having that much soy on my sushi. So I did something that's going to fuck you off and flap you a little bit. I lost my parking card. fuck you off and flap you a little bit. I lost my parking card. So you have to park,

you have to pay to park at a lot of places in Australia. And so you put the card in when you leave and it goes up 90 minutes, $2. That's a lie, but yes, 90 minutes, $2. Where are you parking the cheapest place on earth?

Cause he lives, man. So I lost the card. How does that make you feel? Oh, that makes me want to be sick. That makes me want to squirt soy sauce in your eye, to be honest. So I have to go down to like the security thing. Did you not just go up to the drive thing and go,

oh, my card's just not working and they just let you out? Well, there was a few cards in the thing and I was like, oh, if it's not that easy, then I'm going to hold up the line. Yeah, that's nice self-awareness for you. Yeah, it's Samaritan. So because I get to my car, I put the sushi in the passenger seat and I'm like going through the glove box, the side bit, my jacket pocket, going everywhere. I can't find it.

And you've got all those fish in there. Yeah, so I've put the fish in the car and then gone well i'm gonna have to walk down security so i'll put all like down near the camera oh what a trek i'm worried you parked near the colt yeah oh my god i would have just driven through the boom gate so i get down there i'll left my car there and let me just put it out there that the lady was actually lovely and they are. Oh, they are really nice there. I will give you that. It's just the walk. And she goes,

oh, that's a shame, mate. It happens all the time. But, you know, you did check your car and you've checked your wallet and, you know, because blah, blah, blah. And I go, yeah, yeah, I'm so sorry. And she goes, oh, it's fine, mate. I'm, you know, it's not in your pocket. And I go, no. And she goes, what is in your pocket? And then I, like, I'm so sorry. And she goes, oh, it's fine, mate. You know, is it not in your pocket? And I go, no. And she goes, what is in your pocket?

And then I, like, show her. And keep in mind, I'm not holding the sushi. I just pulled out a fistful of soy sauces. Well, I said, did you leave the fish in the car? Oh, sorry, no, I left the sushi in the car. Oh! So there's no context to the soy. You just look like some poor bugger.

Who's rolled the sushi train. So I'm just holding a wad of soy. She goes, what's in your pocket? And so I just go, just some soy sauces. And she goes. She goes, we'll let you out for free. She did. You need this more than us.

She goes, how long have you been there for? And I go, oh, 90 minutes. And she goes, okay, I'll just leave. And she let me out. Just ring the thing. Tell me that you're the guy with the fish. I'll let you out. Yeah.

That's pretty good. It's so embarrassing. That's so weird. It was so embarrassing. That's so weird. There's a guy with a fistful of soy sauces. She was probably like, is he going to try and pay me with these? Oh, I was here for 90 minutes.

It's two soy sauce fishes. How many fishes is that per 10 minutes? Yeah. How many fishes per hour? I'm good for it, mate. I'm good for it, mate. I've got some JF ones on my desk at work as well. Hi, this is Kayla from Estonia, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.

Yeah. This is Taylor from Estonia and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapions over at Patreon. Georgia Taylor, love to see it. Thank you so much. Thank you. C. Tiz. C. Tiz. Very cool. Matthew Hayes, Alpha and Leah. I love to see it. Thank you so much. Thank you. C. Tiz. C. Tiz. Very cool. Matthew Hayes, Alpha and Leah.

I love the name Leah. Not Alpha? You hate Alpha Mayors? Oh, no, just like the name Leah. Okay. Is that okay? I was going to talk about Alphas the other day. It's like the lamest thing.

I saw this. The reason I'm up about Alphas at the moment is I saw this tweet and it was just like how funny that like these douchebag guys just like gave themselves a name and pretend that it's real. And he like, I'm just going to call myself a wagger, which is what? What's a wagger? He's like, I just made it up, but it's one higher than an alpha. Oh, well, because he's alpha like the wolf thing.

Is it? Yeah, it's about that wolf pack alpha. The wolf pack thing. It was a wolf pack. Well, no, that was like a big thing back in there. I think I saw a wolf last night when I drove home. What? Yeah.

Maybe it was an alpha male coming home from finance drinks. Yeah. See you tomorrow. Have a good day, everyone. Oh, my God, Ryan. It's time for the daughter double feature. You go first. Okay.

If I have to. So my beautiful little girl, Pippa, she's two in December. So she's just little. She's a French bulldog. Yep. She's tiny. Tiny. Like, she's a very cute little small.

She's a fucking babe. Like, she's such a good girl. Anyway, the other day, Torbs and I were out for a walk and we saw this guy with this beautiful like gorgeous Labrador. It was like a colour I hadn't seen before. It was like a strawberry blonde. Like an auburn? Yeah, it was like a beautiful bronze Labrador.

I feel like Labradors are always the same yellow, golden sort of. Well, that's what I thought. And we kind of got closer to this guy and I was like trying to fit. It looked like she'd had her hair done. Like that's honestly, genuinely like she's been to the salon and she'd been fucking. And anyway, and then I saw that she had a little vest on and she was like a guide dog in training.

What a shame her owner can't see her colour. Yeah, because she's beautiful. So this guy was training her. Yeah. So she was like, I guess, young. Like she wasn't in the force yet. Not in the workforce. Imagine that the smartest dog is also the nicest dog

and is also the best looking dog. Oh, and they're just like really successful. Yeah. You know what I mean? Anyway, and we start chatting to this guy and I was like, oh, is that a Labrador? And he goes, yeah, she is. And I was like, I've like never seen that colour before.

He goes, oh, yeah, Labrador. Anyway, and we're chatting and there's like a couple of like rowdy dogs kind of walk past and he just says to her, leave it. And she does. Like she just like, like she's so switched on. She's like working. We should say that to you when you're driving. Leave it.

When someone drives near you and you go, don't drive near my Audi. Yeah, leave it. And you give me a little bit of chicken. I've got like a box of nuggets in the passenger seat. Leave it and here's a treat. He's got a handful of soy sauces. Leave it. And he screams a handful of soy sauces. Leave it. You squeeze a little bit in my mouth.

Leave it. Soy. Good girl. I could do this all day. I've got a whole pocket full. I've got all this soy sauce. Anyway, I'm chatting to the guy and he said, like, oh, not all dogs, like, pass and get hired. And he was like, yeah, I've got, like, three labs at home

that I've trained that haven't, like, cut the mustard or whatever. Is he blaming the labs? Or is he just a shit trainer? I don't know. He's like, I'm 0 for 3. Like, I can't get this right. He's like, yeah, I've got three dogs at home that... Maybe that's just his way of getting a free Labrador.

Well, I don't think they're free. No, but if you get her to train it, surely. Oh, maybe. It's probably getting paid to do it. Sure. Oh, she failed again. Oh, no. And he's got all these cute doggies at home.

He's selling them out the back of his garage. Anyway, and he goes- Cash only, obviously. Yeah, don't want to pay tax. Anyway, and he's like, yeah, not all of them pass. So I've got some dogs at home. And I was like, oh, Anyway, and he's like, yeah, not all of them pass. And, like, so I've got some dogs at home. And I was like, oh, really? And he was like, yeah.

And I was just like, how sad must you feel if you, like, you train up this dog and the dog would be really proud and still, like, incredibly well trained but, like, still they don't make it. Like, sometimes you can be really good and still not make it. It was really sad. Anyway, and then I was like, I reckon pippa could be a guide dog yeah yeah because then i was talking to pippa and i was like leave it and she did would she be up for

training well she does like being trained she likes like feeling because when she's got her harness on she's like business mode really she's like a feeling. Because when she's got her harness on, she's, like, business mode. Really? She's like a different dog, yeah. So. She's the same when she's got her jumper on. I think she just, like. Hey, are you talking about her puffer jacket?

So she's got a puffer jacket and she's got, like, a little woolen, like, turtleneck that she wears around her mouth. A turtleneck. She doesn't even have a neck and she's got a turtleneck. Yeah, it's very cute. Where does the turtleneck part go on a necklace dog? It, like, rolls down, like, over her, like, shoulders, I guess, it's very cute. Where does the turtleneck part go on a necklace dog? It rolls down over her shoulders, I guess. It's really cute.

Does she look like The Rock in that? She looks very rich. Yes, I bet. She looks very, very rich. Do you know the picture of The Rock when he's 15 years old and he's got the chain? And he's got the necklace on and stuff. Is that what she looks like?

I have a picture. Can we do a side-by-side for the Facebook group? I have a picture of Pippa wearing the jumper that I can show you. Can I get her a gold chain and a bum bag? Yeah, sure. A gold chain, but it's like that's her lead. Her lead is like the... Anyway, but yeah, and I was like, wouldn't that be cute?

That is cute. But we can move on to Mabel now. Question though, if she was a guard dog, would she have to go to work? Yeah, see, I wouldn't like that. But I just think like when he was like all these, I was like, now um question though if she was a guard dog would she have to like go to work yeah see i wouldn't like that but i just think like when he was like all these i was like i reckon people could do that and i just thought that was really cute would she have to have one of you know have like a separate harness thing yeah would she be okay with that well i feel like the harnesses are bigger than she is she's also very small So I wonder how effective she really would be at guiding someone.

Mabel started to grip things. She gets grippy. When you – did she, like, hold your hand, like, squeeze a finger and stuff the other day? Yeah. So she's got a strong little grip. And when I give her smoochies and, like, I'm singing her lullabies, she started, like, grabbing my beard.

She likes to grab my beard. Oh. Because she kind of – maybe that's – It just feels, like, a bit different, she started like grabbing my beard. She likes to grab my beard. Oh. Because she kind of, maybe that's. It just feels like a bit different, I guess. It feels real. Yeah, because when we go, I take her out into the garden every day and like put her hand on like the leaves and the plants and she likes to feel the different textures. And yeah, you're probably right.

It's just like a different weird texture. It's like kids books have like the fuzzy thing and then like a crinkly thing. So yeah, pulling the beard is like a real thing because we get up really close and we have a little chat and she's like, so I grabbed my beard. So yesterday she grabs the beard, pulls me in, and we're like a centimetre eye to eye like staring at each other. You were going to have a bifo. Kind of.

I was like, this is – I feel like this is how it works. She's like coming a punk. Kind of. Yeah. And dragged me right in and she was staring into my eyes and I was staring into hers like, what's about to happen? And we were like a centimetre away from each other. And just as we did that, she like grimaced and strained and went,

and just shat, maintaining eye contact the whole time. She pooed whilst looking at me. Now, here's the thing. When you're an adult, pooing your pants is like the most embarrassing thing you can do. As we've discussed many times, yeah. I feel like there's no greater shame or embarrassment. Well, yeah, because you just don't really have the excuse that you do.

But with a baby, it's sort of like she knows that I'm the one that has to clean that up. Yeah. So this is where I think it's a – so she just shits herself and stares at me and she's like, clean that up, bitch. Yeah, she's like, what are you going to do? Is that a bit of a pout? Like she knows what's up. I think so.

Oh, yeah, and she's very advanced. Yeah. So there's no way she doesn't know what she's doing. You know, she's in control over there. And I thought like – because obviously when she's like pulling the beard and our faces are close, it's quite a cute – Oh, yeah. These are moments that I'll in future really miss and stuff like that.

But also because she's probably like, oh, my mum's face doesn't feel – so she's like, why is yours different? So she's like learning as well. But then – Shit. So I work with zero to 100 Tony and this is like 100 to zero Mabel. It was 100% love and then she's like, fucking clean my shit. Fuck you. Yeah. And this is like hundred to zero Mabel. It was a hundred percent love and then she's like fucking clean my shit. Fuck you.

Yeah. Yeah. Stupid old fucking idiot. I mean, that's kids. They break your heart, isn't it? Yeah.

They really do break your heart. So, I mean, that's her power play at the moment. I like it. You do like it? Yeah.

Should I do that too? Yeah, grab your beard and shit on ya. Yeah. Oh, I didn't have the gluten free sauce. Grab your beard and shit on you? Yeah. Oh, I didn't have the gluten-free soy sauce. Grab your beard and shit on you.

Hey, don't yuck someone else's yum because I'm sure there'd be a website somewhere. Oh, boy. I bet. Okay. I've got a you love to see here from Lisa Marie who posted this in our Facebook group. My you love to see it is my business has been nominated for best house cleaning service in her area.

I've been running this thing since 2014, so nine years, and I've been working my ass off this year to really level up the business and not only offer cleaning but organising, redecorating and now healthy living meal planning and prep. Holy shit. Isn't that amazing? One-stop shop. Yeah.

This recognition is a huge honour and I'm so shocked and so proud of the hard work I've put into the business and helping so many families. You'll love to see it. I'd love to see that. Lisa. Fuck yeah. Lisa, I'm not sure what area you're in, but in today's episode thread, share your business. A gram or a link or something. Because if people are in your your area they might be able to get around some of that meal prep or

redecorating or organizing or cleaning fucking you literally just move into my house i was about to say like can i hire you for the week or like could you come once a week and that's just you know recurring yep um but yeah you love to say that, Lisa. Congratulations. I'm about to chat about one of the musical geniuses of our generation. Oh, Pink. One of the lyrical wordsmiths of our time. Spoiler, it's not Pink. It's not Pink.

I implore you, Tony Lodge, before you roll your eyes to hear me out. If you say Young Gravy, I'm leaving. We can all agree that Young Gravy is one of the most skilled and talented musicians on this planet. We can all agree on that, can't we? No. I implore you to hear me out. Did you just learn the word implore?

Yeah, I reckon I've got three more implores left in this episode. Right. Implos in this episode. Right. Implausible diner... Fuck! What's that word? Plausible deniability? Yeah. Is that the same thing I'm trying to say?

No. Okay. Young Gravy said that for every bra that gets thrown on stage during his shows, he would donate $1 to breast cancer charities, as well as donating that bra to women's shelters. Sure. Tapa Bethany, who is also on the gravy train with myself we're often dming about young gravy related issues um has sent me an update young gravy who we can all agree is the most talented musician

and wordsmith on the planet has just donated 100 000 us. That's amazing. To breast cancer charities and 100,000 bras to women's shelters around the USA. It's quite a cute gimmick, I guess. It's a great gimmick. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, I think someone like threw a bra at her and he's like, oh, that's kind of fun and like rocks down and he's like, what am I supposed to do

with these fucking bras? Bras are expensive though. That's what I mean. Yeah. Like if I've spent $90 on a bra that I'm then going to throw on the stage

and he's only donating one measly dollar, I think, like, you know, because he lives, I think he's going to fucking crank it up. I think, though, that a lot of people have once he kind of said, hey, this is the plan, they go, okay, well, I'm going to go and buy a nice bra that's new for someone who needs it and it's just like a way to sort of donate and whatever. Yeah. I mean, he's still $100 100 grand out of his own pocket.

Yeah, that's true. Do you reckon that you're standing in the crowd and you're like, woo, is this tax deductible? Do I get a tax invoice so I can give to my accountant? He's really on my ass for invoices. It's over a dollar. Oh, yeah, what's the minimum? A dollar.

A dollar. It's good tax-related gear. Yeah, thanks. Fuck. For all the accountants out there. Yeah, you get it. Yeah. All right.

But, yeah, how good's John Gravy, Tony? I like that. That's very cute. Thank you. That's very sweet. I love that you agree that he's the most skilled and talented musician on the planet. Should have stuck with Pink, to be honest. See you tomorrow.

Hey, Pink's on in New York when we're there. Oh, great. Yeah. That'll be fun for people that are going to see pink. I've seen pink and it really was incredible. She is an athlete. Like, it is insane that she can be in the air and still sing. I can't even do that on the ground.

I'm puffed all the time. I'm constantly puffed. even do that on the ground. I'm puffed all the time. I'm constantly puffed. Hey, tomorrow in confessions, there's confessions from girls who work in supermarket dalleys. My area. Very much your area

to the point where I am going to be asking Tony if you yourself have been submitting confessions. It's got a bit of Tony Lodge energy about it. So if you've ever, when you were younger or now work in a supermarket, I'm going to say something that this person has confessed of doing and it'd be one of those things where you go, I don't think I've ever really thought about it,

but now that you've mentioned it, I reckon I might have seen that before. Maybe I open up the website while you're doing it and I start writing. But it's like, you know, like hiding in plain sight. Oh, yeah. Like you've probably seen it. Do we have to wait till tomorrow? Yeah. Do we do it now?

No, absolutely not. I love all of you, including Tony.