Toni and Ryan - Spit or Swallow?

Episode Date: November 22, 2023

I mean - it's the age old question. But I swallow BECAUSE I'M A LADY. Love u xoxoCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tainy Lodge. Tainy Lodge. Tainy Lodge. We're about to call Tay and I was looking at Tony and my brain was thinking about too much. That's alright if you want to work with Tay from now on. That's okay. No, I just combined you two into Tainy. Oh, I'm Tainy. She's a Tainy girl.

I'm so Tainy. Alright, let's give her a buzz. Hello. Hello, Tay. It's Tony and Ryan. How you doing? Oh my God. Hi. Hello. Are you Tony and Ryan. How are you doing? Oh, my God. Hi. Hello. Are you ready and willing to approve today's podcast? Oh, my God.

Of course. Excellent. That's great. We'll take it. We'll take it. We'll absolutely take it. Take that. Nice.

Thank you. Hey, this is Tay from Melbourne Melbourne and I approve this podcast. All right, coming up today. We have spoken a few times on this podcast about that I, Tony Lodge, like to try and be so efficient that I actually waste time trying to be more efficient. Yeah. And I think that everything in my life of wasting time has led to this monumental waste of time.

It's like the Olympics of wasting time and resources. Well, the Olympics are here in 2028 in the US, so maybe just getting ready. Is it a new event? So, they're in Paris next week. Next year. Next week. They're in Paris next week.

Paris next year. And there's cricket. 2024, is it? And 2028, there's cricket in the Olympics. Is it flashy cricket? Because I don't like that. It is. Oh, no.

Okay. Well, I'm out. I was going to go, but I won't now. Yeah, we'll get to that in a bit. We will be in it for efficiency time-wasting. Another event on the way. Efficiency time-wasting. Another event on the way. Efficiency time wasting. AI really has taken over.

Efficiency time wasting. Thursday is normal or nah. Thanks to everyone for submitting these to the Tony and Ryan Facebook group. Anonymous asks, is it normal or nah to say nice one to someone in the next cubicle when they've let out a monstrous fart in a public bathroom? Nah, I've never done that. Would you be horrified? Or would you respect it?

Or would you appreciate it if you did a little start fart? I wouldn't be horrified because, like, you're in the bathroom. Like, that's where farts happen, you know. How about you do the fart and someone goes, nice one. Would you go, oh, my God. I would hold it in probably until someone left. Or I'd go, like, the cough, the terrible fart cough, you know. I do it all the time and I now have a shitting buddy at uni.

We both have the same poop schedule because we've got a small gap between classes on Tuesdays and we're friends now because of it. I told my girlfriend this and she says it's weird. But I've heard other guys do it in stores and we all just have a good laugh. Normal or nah. Do you do this, right? No. No. And you're in bathrooms a lot because you pee a lot. Yep. I'm in bathrooms a lot.

And if I farted and someone was like, no, that's mine, bro, I'd be like, oh, I'm sorry. Or I would wait in the toilet until I heard everyone leave and then I would scurry out by myself. Yeah. Because that's terrifying, right? It's also just like- I'm just trying to think of like a way to say this

without saying the thing. Like water your own gut. Like you're in there to do your own thing. Mind your own business. Yeah. Thank you. Like you're airing your dirty laundry with me. Like I don't need you to commentate what I'm doing.

You're missing out because Anonymous has got a shitting buddy. So that's a friend you might not. Like imagine you could have met your best friend mid shit. I've got enough friends. Oh. I don't need any more. Especially ones I meet in bathrooms. Yeah. All the friends I've met in bathrooms has been very late at night and not the kind of friend that- You don't want to be friends with Heidi Montag. That's a great point. I didn't comment on her

farts, though. Is that a- yeah. Like, you know, that was- you know. So, I missed the opportunity to become proper friends, I guess. Yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't do that. I'm going to say nah, but like if you made a friend, that's cool. Nah, this wasn't going to be on my list, but normal or nah, having someone else on the same pee or poop schedule as you. It's definitely normal if you're in a workplace and like something happens, it's like you sink up. Yeah. Like you've been having a few waters

and you've got to pee a few times throughout the day. Oh, totally. You go at 9 o'clock and then at 11.30 you go and have another pee and then you walk and you go, we're on the same schedule and then you come back at 2.30 and guess who's walking in at the same time? Same person, yeah. They're on the same schedule. And then you come back at 2.30 and guess who's walking in at the same time? Same person, yeah. They're on the same schedule. So, I've never had the same schedule as someone in a workplace, but I knew someone else's schedule. Do you remember me telling you about this, Ryan?

Did they start with an M? Yeah. Do you not want to out them? No. And there was like- I believe they had a nickname. And it would be like every day at the exact same time, you'd kind of go, oh, I won't go in there because I know

that they'll be in there. What was the name? I don't remember the name. I heard in the office because it may have worked in the same office. It was the bomber. So at 9.30 in the morning, you wouldn't go to the ladies' room because you knew the bomber was heading in about 9.30 every day, like clockwork.

It was like clockwork. And you'd go, oh, yeah, I might give it a miss for 10. Or it gets to 9.20, you go, fuck, if I've got to go, I'm going to get in now. I'd better go now. Yeah, because I'm still around at 9.30. Because there was only two stalls. Yeah, right. That's not enough.

No. And there was quite a big office. Yeah. Anyway, yeah. And so, I knew their schedule quite well. Or you'd go when you go, oh, they're in today. You know what I mean? Like, they're not WFH.

Yeah. Do you reckon they knew that they were on a schedule? Because they might have been blissfully aware and it just, you know, they might have just- I don't know. I don't know, actually. And I feel like- because there's no shame in putting- I don't care. But it was just funny that it became this thing.

Did they know they were called the bomber? I don't think so. And the fact they that it became this thing. Did they know they were called the bomber? I don't think so. And the fact they're remaining nameless makes me think that there's been a lot of chat about the bomber and the bomber doesn't know they're the bomber. But is it one of those things? Imagine finding out years later you were the bomber. Is it one of those things though that every day you go, oh, yep, I cycle to work. Then I put myself at my desk and then I go to the bathroom. And you probably don't realise.

That you're bombing. That, well, anybody else would pick that up. Yeah. Yeah, you would. But. Nothing gets past Tony Lodge. That's a tight ship. Yeah.

I'm just, I'm so on top of everything. Normal or nah? When you cough up some phlegm, spitting it out. Look, until today, normal. This is my normal or nah. I don't think I've ever submitted one before. Thanks for submitting it. Tony and Ryan Facebook group.

Tony and Ryan Facebook group. Frustratingly and honestly, no. And up until this day in my life, I always believed that if you coughed up some phlegm, you had to spit it out. Because that's all, you get the bad stuff out of your body. You've got to get the googs out. You've got to get the googs out. And I think when I was a kid, like, obviously,

my mum said to me at some point or whatever that, like, yeah, when you cough, you have to get it out because it's your body getting the mucus out or whatever. It's exactly what it is, right? Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, it's disgusting, but, like, everyone does it, whatever. Yeah.

And you have to cough it out. And then this morning I was coughing and some phlegm came out. Not going to lie about it. I've been a bit sick. We've been travelling a lot. I'm fucking at the end of my tether. Yeah. And not angle-wise.

Like, I've been, like, on the precipice of getting sick for a while. Anyway, and I coughed. And then I was like, hang on. If you swallow that, because it comes out of your lungs. If you swallow it, it doesn't go back into your lungs. Yeah. It goes into your stomach. Yeah.

And so, then I Googled it. And it was like, is there a difference between coughing, like, spitting mucus out or phlegm out or swallowing it? And no. It actually doesn't matter either way because it goes into your tummy and your body light breaks it down. But isn't the thought of that the most disgusting thing you've ever heard? You're lying if you're saying that you haven't done it though. Oh, absolutely. But just like the thought, if you had an option of, because you know what it looks like, if you had the option of, because you know what it looks like,

if you had the option of that being not in your body or just, like, oh, swallowing it. Yeah, but, like, I mean, spitting it out's not that great either. Yeah, but at least it's out of you. But, like, spitting it out is disgusting because you've got to really hock it up and then you've got to, like, spit into a tissue or, like, the sink. Is today's episode going to be called Spit or Swallow?

Please. A debate. I hope. That's really funny. That's so funny. I'm not going to laugh because I'll cough and some phlegm will come out and I'll have to decide which to do. Yeah, in real time.

But like, what do you do normally? I did a spit this morning and it was good. When I saw it leave my body, I was like, it was gross. You're like, see ya, germs. Yeah. Yeah. Have a see you, germs. Yeah. Yeah. Have a good day, dog. Yeah.

In Singapore, you can get arrested for spitting. Well, and chewing gum, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's illegal. But anyway, I thought that was a really interesting fact, but I'm glad to know that you agree that it was just like you are told that you have to spit the loogies out.

So, I've sang loogies. Thank you. My wife, Bridget. God, it's a real fucking celebrity edition of Novel or Nah. Tony Lodge, Bridget Rodder. Wow. Going to Ikea with a plan. Should be 100% normal, says my wife.

What sucks is when you have a plan, but you get stuck behind dawdlers. People that don't have a plan. Who are just going around in circles. Nah, bro, get the fuck out of the way, said Bridget. Yep. And you've got to follow the arrows and get the fuck out of the way. So, before we flew over here, Bridge had to run and get this bag for the- The schlingelflocken.

For the schlingelflocken, for the pram. And she goes, yep, it's in section 34 of the thing. I'll just whip through the maze, cut through that thing, get the thing, get the fuck out of there. I'll be in and out in five minutes. I just- You know what I hate about IKEA is that you've got to go through the fucking maze at all. Just let me go into the shop part. Can you just go in the back way though?

Can you? Probably could. Can you? You don't have to go through the showroom. Oh, fuck off. Are you fucking serious? I'm going through the fucking lights and the pillows every time. How many years?

Can you? No, are you fucking me? Don't fuck with me. I would never fuck with you. You can 100% go through. How many years of your life have you spent going through IKEA when you didn't need to? Years.

Years I've spent going through the fucking showroom. I didn't know that you could do that. Oh, yeah. DCIroom I didn't know that you could do that Yeah DCI I didn't know that Are you sure? Don't fuck with me I'm not fucking with you

And also with the maze There's also some little shortcut bits So I do the shortcuts when I know that I've just got to get one thing But that's why I'm like You can't just go to Ikea for one thing because you end up there for three hours getting stuck in all the stuff. But you know how the first loop you go around the top and then you go down the stairs?

Yeah. What if you just start at that level? But I didn't know that you could. Yeah, straight through. Straight through the market. And then if you go right instead of left, you just go to the checkouts and you just go in. It's a lot of new information.

How does it feel to hear that? I'd like to talk to someone in management at IKEA and discuss maybe some new signage where they say, you can actually just go straight down. Oh, no, but they don't want to advertise because they want you to go through the things. They're not going to like say, hey, spend less money. If I'm on a time-saving mission. Yeah, but then on the time, you're in the time-saving game. They're in the time-wasting game. Cam gets Sven on the phone.

Take him, eh? He's got to build the phone himself first. Flat pack phone. Assemble his iPhone with a fucking Allen key. And finally, non-relation to Tony or myself is Mary. Mary asked Normal or Nah. Screaming anything when a fire truck goes by so you can get the feeling of screaming in public, but nobody knows because it's covered by the sound of the fire truck.

Oh, like crying in the rain. Yeah. Yeah, no one can tell. I've never done that, but it's a good idea. I think that would alert passerbys, though, passersby. There's a firetruck, someone's screaming. Yeah, if you just heard someone screaming, you would shit yourself. I kind of skipped past the reality of the scream with Mary

and just skipped to the, like, is everything okay at Mary's place? Great question. You know what I mean? You know what? You know why she needs to scream? She's just been to Ikea. She's had to do the whole thing. She's been walking.

She's been there for five days. She's just trying to get her shinkle flocking downstairs. Get me out of here! Hey, it's Tay from Melbourne, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. Our champion tapas, it's Tony and Ryan podcast. So spooky.

Taylor Beattie. Good on you, Taylor. Thank you so much. Sarah Kirk. Thanks, Sarah. Thanks, Kirk. Joel Croft. Tomb Raider.

Womb Raider. Jordan Simmons. Good on you, Jordan. Grace Johnson and Kevin Bloody Wilson. The Kevin Bloody Wilson? Or. The Kevin Bloody Wilson? Or A, Kevin Bloody Wilson? Kevin Wilson. I have added a bit of editorial, called him Kevin Bloody Wilson for this joke,

and it seems to have backfired because you guys think that he's part of our Patreon. I'm surprised Kevin Bloody Wilson knows how to use the internet. Friends with Mick Jagger, you know, maybe. Oh, yeah, sorry. Sorry. Fuck me. Sorry. Yeah, and then Dad's. Sorry. Sorry. Fuck me. Sorry. Yeah.

And then Dad's naming boats. What a crazy coincidence. Speaking of wasting time. No. So I mentioned before and we've talked about it. It's like definitely a recurring theme. I would love to just be so efficient that I impress the earth. Like I just want people to be like, wow, Tony gets things done in a flash.

Yep. And much like me walking around Ikea, it's actually never what ends up happening because I go, oh, I'm going to make this thing happen so much quicker. And I spend that much time and, like, money or resources on making things quicker that if I'd just done it, it would have been like free to cheap and already finished. Can I throw you under the bus with a private matter? Great. Is it true that to save time getting dressed before we went on the US trip that you spent hours creating a spreadsheet and a grid showing which items of clothing you had went

with other ones and which outfits for which day? Yes, I did do that. Yeah. And you stand by it. I actually do because there is not one thing in my luggage that I didn't wear. Okay. Which normally if I was packing for a holiday or a trip or whatever,

I would pack like way too much stuff. I guess what I'm getting at though is if you did bring an extra shirt that you didn't wear, would that be worse than the three hours you spent on the spreadsheet? I mean, I guess not. In terms of efficiency and time well spent. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, it probably was a time well spent.

I guess not. But it was good because I actually looked at everything and was like, I know that they will go together. I know that this – like so I had in my, I'm going to try and justify it because I did spend so much time doing it. It looked great. It was colour coded. But I also like, I did it at night time on the couch.

Like, it was kind of a fun, it's not as if I was like, oh, Ryan, can't go to that meeting with you. I've got, I've got a big project on, you know, and I, like, I did it at night time. So, I feel like it was like a fun hobby. That's what someone who's in denial would say. The river? Yeah. They're wet?

Yeah. Oh, I'm so wet. I brought all these clothes with me. Yeah, but, you know, there's always like a reason or an excuse. Oh, but it was at night, so it's okay. Oh, but it was my own personal- I'm not an alcoholic. I just like drinking in the morning.

It was my personal time. I didn't waste work time doing it. Does that- I'm just- And look, it's created content. See, everyone's talking about it. Okay, I'll stop talking about it. It's on- The words on everyone's lips, it's created content. See, everyone's talking about it. Okay, I'll stop talking about it. It's on-

The word's on everyone's lips. Tony's outfit matrix. Just to be fair, I'm not accusing you of wasting work time. Yeah, no, I know that you're not. It's just trying to- I'm just trying to make myself feel better about it. Yeah, is it working? Yeah, I guess so.

Yeah, it is, yeah. But anyway, I liked the outfit matrix, but just one of many examples of me trying to be efficient. Along the same vein, I guess like what I want to ask is like, when did you try and outsmart yourself and it all went wrong? Because before we started traveling, I knew I'd be away for a month. I also knew that I'd be like carrying my own bags a lot because like Torbs isn't here. Normally, if we were away together, we would probably share a suitcase. Okay, that's nice.

Whereas at the moment, I'm like, oh, it's all my stuff and we're away for so long. That was like, I've got a month's worth of clothes, socks, jocks, all that stuff. And I really tried to narrow everything down, which is where the matrix, the clothing matrix came in. really tried to narrow everything down, which is where the matrix, the clothing matrix came in. And in my effort to scale everything down, I was like, I really don't want to carry like 800 cables. Yeah.

And chargers and stuff. Cables and chargers, in terms of space, weight. Because they're dense. Yeah. Because you go, oh, five chargers, all of a sudden you go, hang on, that's actually added up and there's quite a bit there. Yeah. So I was like, okay, well, I've got laptop charger, phone charger, headphone charger. Oh, too bad.

Like, you know, there's all this stuff. I had a power bank with me for when we were traveling around so we could keep filming, whatever. All this stuff. And I'm like, well, that's just not going to happen. I'm going to be bloody, I've got my Kindle, my, like everything, just a million chargers. I find this power bank adapter thing online and I did probably get sucked a little bit into the cool videos that I saw.

I bet. But it was like, we will solve all of your problems. So it's like a power bank. That's the classic line. Classic line. Isn't it? I don't even know what your problems are, but I know that I can solve them. But I can fix them.

You lay it on me. Anyway, I see this thing. It's like a power bank. It's got two cables coming out of it, and it plugs straight into the wall. Plus, it's like a – and it shows you the video. It's like it plugged into a laptop, so you can run your laptop off it, your phone, everything. It's just like this miracle fucking power bank.

Anyway, it was not super cheap. I think you're going to have to be a bit more detailed than that, mate. It wasn't super cheap. It was not super cheap. But as long as it solves all your problems, then maybe it's money well spent. Investment, right? Because then I'm carrying-

Like three figures over $100? It was over $100, spent. Investment, right? Because then I'm carrying- Like three figures over a hundred bucks? It was over a hundred dollars, yeah. Over $200? I think it was like $180 or $190 or something. For a plug-in. Because I was like- You could have bought a new fucking computer. I could have just done a lot of things.

My whole life is me. Could have done, should have done. But did it pay off? We get to Dallas. We've flown for 20 fucking hours. Yep. My phone's flat. My laptop's flat.

My headphones are flat. Everything, I'm like, great. Time for big dog to get working. Here we go. Get 180 bucks for it. Here we fucking go. Doesn't work. It isn't powerful enough.

Well, it doesn't work, right? And I go, what? Like, that's so weird. And then I just plug my phone. I had another phone charger, like cable, and the hotel we were in had, like, USB ports into the wall. And I was like, cool, I'll put my phone on charge and I've just got to figure out my laptop.

And I was like, maybe I'm just asking for too much from this thing at once. The thing that said, I'll solve all your problems. Oh, well, your problem was power. Oh, no, we don't do that. Oh, no, we don't do that here. Oh, sorry, power. Power. Oh, no, no.

Oh, I thought you wanted a ham and cheese sandwich. Yeah, oh, and I would have taken it. It doesn't even do that. Well, you couldn't have had it toasted. And no, because it ham and cheese sandwich. Yeah, oh, and I would have taken it. It doesn't even do that. Well, you couldn't have had it toasted. And no, because it's not fucking power. Yeah. Anyway, so I'm like, oh, maybe it's because my phone and my laptop's plugged in. It doesn't even flow power through it.

So it's not just that it's like not charging. Yeah. It's like doesn't even like accept the like power through. Anyway, and my phone's charging. I call Torbs and I'm like, hey, mate, like, yeah, we've landed. We're safe, whatever. I'm like, oh, that thing's not working for my laptop. And he goes, oh, that thing that you bought.

Okay, so here we fucking go. I have bought something tech without Torbs' approval. Is he offended by that? He was proud that I had, like, gone off on my own to buy something. But he goes, and it was so pointed, oh, that thing you bought doesn't work. And I went, bit of fucking editorial here. If he had written down that, would the you have been in bold? Oh, that thing that you bought.

By yourself. Without me. Without any consideration of the tech pioneer of the fucking family. And I was like, okay, there we go. He goes, oh, that thing that you bought doesn't work. That's so weird. Anyway, he gets online and he goes, oh, so that thing that you bought, once again, that thing that you bought is only blah watts.

And to charge or run a laptop, you need blah watts. But that's what its job is. And I said, on the website, on the video, it had them using a laptop. He goes, oh, Tony, well, anyone can put a video up. Anyone can put a sign up. Signs, laptops, chargers, fake. But it's not like you had this idea to use that thing to do this other thing. Like, it's like you had one job.

The purpose of the thing. Anyway, and so I'm like, well, I've got this $200 brick with me that I've brought here and I didn't have another option anyway. And so I'm like, well, fucking hell, I'm going to need to buy something else. Because I was, I needed to work. Yeah, you're on the road. Like, I needed my laptop to work. And anyway, so, the next day, Torbs was like, just go and buy a USB-C adapter thing.

Like, go to Target or whatever. Anyway, I had to get an Uber to the Target because it was, like, really far away. It's the only place you could get it from. I Uber there. I buy the, like, USB-C adapter thing that they had. It was, like, $30 US. So, what's that, like, 50 bucks or something? And then I get back to the hotel.

I'm like, here we go. I can watch Netflix again. I can start working. I can all this stuff. I plug it in. I plug in the thing and it doesn't work. What? start working i can all this stuff i plug it in i plug in the thing and it doesn't work what and i look on the box and it is like a usbc phone charger adapter isn't just usbc usbc what's the point of having codes if they're for fucking specific things. So the actual charger is X watts and I need the blah watts for the computer.

What the fuck is going on? Thank you. Thank you. So right now I'm down 250 bucks. My laptop is flat and I'm not fucking happy. And you got two chargers sitting there. Two chargers doing sweet fuck all. Yeah.

Anyway, we get back to the hotel. It's not working. I'm like, holy fuck. I call Torbs again. He goes, well, why did you buy a phone charger? I go, well, mate, I didn't know. Anyway, and then we move to the next place. It was when we got to Atlanta.

So, we've been in America for like three or four days. My laptop, I can't get it to work. It's flat as a tack. It's fucked. Anyway, and you guys both have different chargers to me. So, it's not going to work. Anyway, I get, we're in Atlanta. I get on Uber Eats to, like, order some food.

And there's, like, you know how it's, like, bundle and save. Yeah. Like, do all the things at once. And I'm, like, oh, my God. And it says, of all things, bundle MacBook Pro charger. And I go. I will have that with my strawberry smoothie. Thank you.

I will take that. Yeah. And. Thank you. I will take that. Yeah. And as you know, Uber Eats is like not the cheapest thing. No, it's really not, is it? $130 US dollars. For a charger? I was fucking desperate. Are you joking me?

And I bought it and they dropped it off and whatever. I plug it in. It's finally working. My laptop's finally fucking working. They drop it off and give you a hand job while they're there? $130. I had to get him one for a tip. It's like his tip for a tip.

Yeah, give 10% on this one, sweetheart. Anyway, and so finally, and you know what? I'm just like, thank God. It's working. I finally like fixed my own problem. It cost me, what, by the time of that, that's $230 or something, $200. $450 I've spent on fucking chargers. Are you still carrying around the other ones?

Yeah. And then, anyway, like, the next day we go to record the podcast. Yeah. And it was the first time that we'd, like, kind of gotten on our laptops together. Yeah. And I've got all these chargers all jumbled up and they're all fucked. None of them fucking work and I've got like a shop in my bag. I thought you were dealing goods on the side.

Yeah, it looked like I was going to open up my coat and there's all these cables in there. You guys have the chargers? What have you got? How many more do you want? They work, just not for what you probably want them to work for. Anyway, and then out of your backpack, you pull out a power board with a fucking us

adapter on the end and i went oh what have you what do you got there and you go oh yeah well because i just all my cables are australian so like i just like bought the power board i could plug everything in and just like yeah one extension cord like how good and i was like well yeah and how much does a power board cost? Like $3? Not even. Yeah. Not even. Yeah. So, sometimes simple is best.

Yes. Because I've spent a fucking small fortune. I was wondering why you were a bit fucked off with that. I was like, Tony's really pissed off at my power board. What's the power board done to you? And let me show you something. Little did I know. This charger.

What are you going to do with that when you get home, sweetheart? It's fucking American. What are you going to do with that when you get home? Do? It's fucking American. What are you going to do with that when you get home? Do you know what I'll do? I'll sell it in the airport. Maybe someone's fucked up and bought the stupid thing that I bought and they'll need to. Oh, what about if American Tony moves to Australia

and they've done the same thing the other way around? Well, then I'll meet him in the airport. We'll swap over on the way back. Or you'll become an Uber Eats driver. I just, I literally like was so gung ho and so pumped about how much room I was going to save and how like much better off I was going to be. And then I ended up having to buy 95 fucking chargers. It cost me $6,000.

And now I can't even use this when I get home. Well, enjoy the way you got it though. Yeah. So, if any American listeners need a MacBook Pro charger, hit me up. Good price. Good actually though. Good price. Although after you get to Hawaii, then you're going to a MacBook Pro charger, hit me up. Good price. We should actually, though. Good price.

Although, after you get to Hawaii, then you're going to have to ship it back to the mainland. That's going to cost you. That's true, yeah. You can pay for shipping, whoever gets it. I cannot believe that. Oh, speaking of going to Hawaii, I've got to get up and see it. Oh, great. I've been called out a few times only with a bottle of water, but, like, I just forget you can't take bottles of water through the security of the airport.

Oh, yep, yep, yep. Do you need a MacBook charger for that? I could help you out. How can I get rid of this water? Thanks, guys. I will charge it with an Apple charger. It's a good price. Plugs right into the wall. Don't even need a power port. So a lady's only got carry-on luggage and she's going somewhere just for the weekend. It must be her dad or her grandpa or her uncle like it was a bit like a family occasion so she gets her just chuffing for the weekend yeah yeah so she gets a really nice bottle of his favorite cognac it's 200 dollars oh and she rocks up and they go you can't take drinks and liquids oh no yeah and she looks at

and goes fuck and kind of goes, oh, of course. I didn't even, you know, you just picture a bottle of water, but you forget about. You just don't even think about it yet. Yeah, a nice present for my uncle or whatever. And they go, yeah, you're going to have to leave it here. And she goes, no. So she didn't go for the weekend?

Nope, she did. She went, I've paid $200 for this cognac. I'm going to drink it. So in the line, and here's the news article, Lady Chug's entire $200 bottle of cognac rather than give it over to airport security. Well, they were just going to drink it, weren't they? Well, it turns out that, like, they kind of pulled the shit together.

Obviously, there's a lot of, like, you know, half-empty drink bottles and fucking half-chewed chewy or whatever. But, like, apparently, you know, at the end of the week, there's a bunch of good stuff there. Because there'd be, like, perfume that people forget you can't travel with and shit like that, moisturiser. Yeah, beauty stuff. And so apparently at the end of the week, it's sort of like,

you know those places where you tip but it all goes into, like, the pool and they divvy it up? So on a Friday... I've got my eyes on that perfume. You want this moisturiser? It's a good one. Yeah. And sort of like, oh, you got that bottle last week.

Can I take it this week? Yeah. And so at the end of the week, they kind of divvy up the good stuff. Surely that's not straight legal. They've got their eyes on my charger. Yeah. That's what they're bloody waiting for. What else are they going to do?

They're not going to just like. Throw it out. Yeah. Well, they'll throw out the shit stuff. So Sarah has messaged through and she said that something similar happened to her. Yeah. And like, the person, their eyes lit up because they're like, oh, fucking, that one's mine at the end of the week. Like, kind of went, that's me. And she

notices this and she's like, fuck you. Because like, not only are they like, taking her thing. Oh, so she smashed it on fuck you. Because not only are they taking her thing. So she smashed it on the ground. No one can enjoy it. She called over the cleaner and goes, no, excuse me, miss, come over here. Doing such a great job. I'd love you to have this bottle of wine. Oh.

And then kind of looked back at the other, is it TSA? Is that what they're called? Looked back at the TSA and was like, yeah, fucking suck on that one, sweetheart. Oh, that is good. That's a powerpoint. And because they went, oh, I'll take that. My girlfriend and I, that is good. That's a powerpoint. And because they went hot. I'll take that. My girlfriend and I's anniversary this weekend.

I'll take that one. Thank you. But I love that they've gone, hey, TSA, I know you're just doing your job, but if you think you're drinking my cognac. No way. Not on my watch, mate. In fact, I spent that 200 bucks and I'm not going to remember this flight. I thought you were going to say that she like passed it through the line and everyone was wasted.

Had a sip. Like, everybody, everyone had something like a shot. I like that. Everyone has a shot on the way through. Maybe in pre-COVID times. Oh, true. Yeah, you wouldn't do that now, would you? Although that does remind me of being, like,

a youngster at a festival or a party when you're 18 and you don't have much money. So you just go, oh, boy, there's five of us. We'll all just chip in and you kind of just, like, have a sip and pass it on. Oh, a bottle of Jack Daniels or something. I love at weddings when they do the fireball or something. With the GoPro?

With the GoPro, and it's like everybody having a sip. Steph Klessing, we've had her wedding. It's in a wedding video. It's very good. You should look it on your show. Is that also pre-COVID energy? Definitely, yeah. You're not doing that now, are you?

Do we do it at your wedding? Are you engaged yet? How's why? No, not engaged. And I don't think that I would have a very big wedding. So we'd probably all get quite drunk because it'd be passing around to the same four people for quite some time. It'd just be you and me passing a five all back and forth.

Yeah, passing it backwards and forwards. Well, I saw you in Vegas, man. It's not going to take you a lot to get the party started. I actually have signed an NDA to myself and we will not be discussing it. Jodie Clifford sent this in. I've signed an NDA on behalf of all tapas about the poo towel. No. That's not the same.

No, NDA has been signed. Public interest. Public interest. Public interest, but also statute of limitations. Statute of limitations, not statue, sorry, because that's like Statue of Liberty. Statue of Liberty of limitations. Anyway, I got this message on Patreon from Jodie.

Jodie says, you love to see it. I had a job interview a while back and it happened to be on the same day as the Ducky Spoon episode. I was pretty nervous. If you haven't heard it, you've got to go back and find it. I wish some people at the Meat and Grease brought that up. You've got to go back and find it. I wish some people at the meet and greets brought that up.

That's probably the funniest thing I've ever said. You know what's awesome? When you're really struggling being away from your family and you're in a foreign country and you don't have a fucking MacBook charger that works and everyone thinks it's really funny to bring up horrible childhood trauma. No, I know you're being sarcastic, but you're right. It is funny. Yeah.

Anyway, Jodie says, I was pretty nervous, but as per my usual routine, I listened to the podcast on my way into the city and like on the way to the interview. Yep. I soon forgot about how nervous I was as I was in fits of laughter and couldn't help but smile at Tony's ducky spoon reaction. You're welcome. Anyway, Ace the interview got the job and put it down to the ducky spoon.

You'll have to see that. I actually replied to Jodie and said, hey, Jodie, definitely thought this was going in a different direction. What did you think it was? Like, oh, I was on my way to a job interview, heard that. How sad for you. I think it's like, and the CEO was the duck. And the duck.

I thought that Jodie was going to be like, oh, and I felt so sad for you that, like, God, it was really bad. She's like, nah, loved it. Laughed so hard. Got the job. Best story I've ever heard. I now work for Peter Rabbit. And I said, glad you love my trauma, Jodie,

but proud of you for getting the job. That's amazing, love you. But I thought that was going to go in a different direction. Really did. Really, really did. My favourite thing was when the person at the LA meet and greet got the ducky spoon put on a T-shirt. You know what my favourite thing is?

That everyone's still calling it the ducky spoon. So everyone's on my side, whether they think so or not. Yeah, but names can, like... No. Just let me have it, I think. Yeah, no, you can't have that. You know what? You can't have that.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I hear you. Yeah, it's like the cognac at the security line. I'll just let you have that. Yeah. Tomorrow on the show, you... It's a fucking Friday. Fuck yeah

You may recall that Tony sent her boobs to a lawyer A photo of Not her actual boobs Sent them over Some other tarpers have accidentally sent some pictures of some things And in solidarity We will share their stories tomorrow And if you pissed for the ducky spoon

fucking put a towel down and sweat up because it's fucking funny yeah love you bye