Toni and Ryan - Stealing Her Boyfriend's DNA

Episode Date: August 12, 2026

Shapes news - Normal or Nah - Giving blood - love ya!!!!!Video for this EP is available on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I preserved my boyfriend's first to see what happens. It turned yellow and crusty and was really interesting to see the changes of color and density over time. Yack! Hi, I'm Max from August Denmark. Hi, I'm Chelsea from Manum in South Australia. Hi, I'm Alim from Chavut Israel. And I approve this podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast.

This is Dr. Author, best-selling Dr. Author, Tony Lodge. Ryan is a pleasure to be with you today. Normal or not, coming up soon. And I hate to step on your toes. I know that you are scoop, John. But I do have some Bip Bittip Bip Bip Bip breaking news. Huge news coming out of the UK recently.

I've had Tarpers blowing up my inbox about this. A scoop. Shapes. In the UK. And the best flavour is three, two, one. Barbecue. What the fuck. Fuck off, you stupid slut.

barbecue. Chicken crimpy. The worst, barbecue is disgusting. It tastes like green. I don't like that. Chicken crimp your ass out of it. Chicken, fuck you.

Chicken, chicken, or cheese and bacon. I fuck a cheese and bacon. They're yum. Cheese and bacon rubs me up the wrong way. Do you know what he's, how could that rub you up the wrong way?

I don't get it. Do you know, that's actually how I feel about pizza, about barbecue. What about pizza shapes? Pizza shapes, I will give. Oh, yeah, I'll meet you on pizza. So, I mean, this is the perfect situation for the two of us. I don't know what Charles wants, but they're only launching with three flavors.

How do you pick three? Turns out that the focus group was you and me because they're launching pizza, barbecue and chicken cream. I'm not even joking. They're only launching three flavors. Chicken crimpy. So shapes are a beautiful, delicious, savory. Cracker that we have here in Australia and now is available in the UK. So if you're a UK type up, please go and buy some.

They're savoury, but they're kind of a treat. Yeah, like it's a, it's a treat though. It's like a chip. Yeah, but it's savory, but it's like a, it's like a reward. What is the difference between savory and a treat? Savory for me feels like filling, like for purpose. Whereas this is just like, it just tastes yum. Well, yeah, they're yum, but savory.

Like, things can just be. Well, savoury is just not sweet, isn't it? But they kind of are sweet because they're delicious. Well, they're not sweet. It's sweet in the way where it's like they're fucking sweet. Yeah. But they're fucking sweet. Yeah.

But they're not, but they don't taste sweet. They kind of do though. No, they don't. I reckon there's a bit of sugar or honey in them biscuits. They taste sweet. There's, they're not sweet. You tell us, UK. Yeah.

You're okay, huh? You're welcome. Yeah, you're going to be happy about that. Go get yourself some chicken crimpy. Let us know. Report back. Yeah, let us know whether you're a barbecue or a crimp. Should we get a direct flight from Melbourne to London?

Yep. Which is possible. That's fucking crazy. Project Sunrise. I just got to go get some shapes. Why don't they even make the shapes available in the UK? They could have just flown to Melbourne and gotten some. What are you doing here in the country at customs?

And you just go, chicken. crimpy. Yeah. I'm just crimping dog and they go, walk straight through. Don't give a fuck about customs. Hey. No, it's quite easy. Um, as, as Australians, it is easy to get in. But not even easy. We just kind of walk, we came out and we were like, fuck, we supposed to check some. Yeah. Yeah. But I think it depends on what flight like, because we have a relationship, right? Like the queen and shit. Oh, R. IP. Yeah. King. Pop off King. It's tough. Charles, what's your favorite shapes? I love a chicken crumpy, but I also

love barbecue and then it depends on the day. I will say that shapes are mood dependent. So true. Like not a true word could be spoken. What mood are you in today? I would go cheese and bacon today. Yeah. Because they're just a bit like.

Because you're a quirky girl today. And cheese and bacon shapes are quirky. I also love safe. Like there is a type of shapes just called savory. I don't know if they still make them anymore. The naming guy just gave the fuck up. He's like, God, I've, got to get home early to pick up the kids.

What do we call these savoury ones? Oh. I met Dazzlet says on the box quite literally. Should we just stick with that? Yes, these ones savory. They're in like a maroon, a maron box. That is actually. And they were so young.

This sounds like a lull. How the fuck, because they're all savory apparently. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was so good. I know that they're not technically shapes because they are Nabisco, I think. But I love. loved Dixie Drumsticks.

Oh, yeah. They were my favorite. Do you like chicken twisties? No. I think that's an abomination. Do you like chicken flavored chips? No. But chicken crumpy and Dixie drumsticks, fuck.

It's really strange. It's weird because for me, I reckon people are going to pick up what I'm putting down here. A barbecue shape tastes like green in a bad way. And so does a chicken chip or a chicken twisty. I think you're just tasting the color of the box. But what color is pizza when you eat it? Pizza shapes.

That is purple, isn't it? And what color is bacon and cheese? Purple. There's a pink, isn't it? Yeah. I think you're just seeing the color. I, do you know what? If you needed to run like a marketing focus group,

I would be the best person to ask. I think I'm the ultimate gullible citizen. But do they want gullible? They want honest feedback. But like if they say, said like, oh, you know how they go like, oh, red is the color that makes you the most hungry. That's why McDonald's uses it or whatever. I'd be like, wow, okay.

And that would incest me and I would always then believe that. I think you wouldn't be good for marketing research. I'd think you'd just be good as a customer. But not research, but a focus group. You know where they're testing a product? Yeah, that's what research is. Oh, Slay. Yeah.

Like they're doing research by using a focus group. Yeah. I thought research was more like a focus group what did you think it was I think I saw research as more like going out into the field and like doing like on the ground to studies

but a focus group for me is like okay no here's the difference I just realized research they come to me focus group I go to them sure you know what I mean strangely I I do know what you mean, but you know what I mean?

Yeah, but nah. Oh, slow. Yeah. This is normal on our. Off to a fly fucking stuff. This is Jasmine Crossway. Hi, Jasmine. Normal on Ar, bringing my own container to the sushi shop so they can fill it up with soy sauce.

The little tear packets are a disaster. I end up spraying it, spilling it, it's a mess. So instead I bring my own little container and ask them to fill it up. or I keep a bottle of soy sauce in the car bringing your own container to the sushi shop for soy sauce and I'm the fucking problem and I'm the fucking problem

I think wherever Jasmine resides they don't have the little fish yeah because we got the are they an Australian thing I think they're only Australian and they're actually trying to phase them out because of the terrible impact on the environment I went to sushi in Northland last week

and I got a takeaway packet and I used to get the little fish and then I spilled soy sauce on myself because I was eating it in the heart. Of course you do. They are. I tell you my worst nightmare wearing a white t-shirt

and getting sushi on a plane where you then have to tear because you imagine tearing the soy sauce sauce packet on a plane. Hey, I'm just going to say something to you. I don't know that that's that relatable. I've never been offered sushi on a plane before.

No, neither. They give me a fucking chicken nugget down the back and they say, just blow any air off it. What are you talking about the sushi? You know no, but like that's just because what Charles is describing is the rip packet is terrifying. What about the plane is relevant? Aside from the fact that when they give you real cutlery and sushi, apparently that's relatable. They give me plastic down the back.

The plane is because you're like, you're stuck on the plane. You can't just like go home and wash your shirt or get a change or something. I think they give you change of clothes up there, don't they? Up where? At that end. When they give you sushi, they go, oh, here's the pajamas for later. No. No.

Just like shitting yourself on a plane is the worst place to shoot yourself. Planes just make everything worse. Sure. Yeah, I guess I agree with that. Thank you. The other day when I said, piss yourself on the plane, you can't clean yourself up and you said, yeah, you can. I was like, no.

Yeah, it's just sucks, though. It feels like you're just being very argumentative about this. That, that needs to get his story straight on plane. Do you like it or not? Can you shoot yourself or not? Can you clean yourself up or not? Hang on. So I thought that at the beginning of listening to this normal or nah,

I thought that Jasmine was saying taking it into the sushi place for them to fill it up and like take it home. Like just being like, oh, you don't mind topping me off with some Kikerman, do you? Well, you'd ask them more than you need. You know what I mean? Yeah. I don't do that. I feel like most places when you get sushi and sit down, they've got the like the red lid. Kikerman bottle that you like hold one side

and like so, so, so. So, no, I've never carried my own sushi around. So, so. It seems like this is a real stressor in Jasmine's life. To the point she's got home and gone,

well, I need a solution. Bitch, if you're comfortable with your condiment needs, I think, let people know. I'm actually, like, wouldn't always soy a sushi. Like, it's not, it's actually not my desperate need is, I don't

Really. Is it just so dry? No. So dry. No. I mean, on the plane sometimes it's dry. But no, because they make sushi and it's got like the rice wine vinegar and stuff in the rice. Like that's what moistens it up.

No, I always. I've just realized that this could be anything. Like insert anything here. Charles, Google how many. people in the planet. The magician made me Google that the other day. 8.3 billion. There's 8.3 billion people on this beautiful

earth. Yeah. And I, what are the chances of becoming best friends with Tony Lodge? One in 8.3 billion. And I become best friends with the one who likes chicken, crimpy shapes and doesn't have soy sauce on sushi. I just don't find it. No, it's not on you. It's on me. where did I go wrong? Fuck you.

Where did I go wrong finding a best friend like you? Do you know what it means? It means that I, when we get sushi together and we get one little packet of soy sausage each, you get two, dog. I'll give it to you. Well, there's gluten in it and I'll give it right back. I can't win with you. I can't win with the world.

I can't win with you. I've had enough. This week has been a natural disaster. I just like it. I just, if it, if I got my soup. sushi home and there was no soy sauce with it, I wouldn't be faced. Yeah. However, if I was going to take a sushi condiment around with me, it would be a bottle of

Kupy at my handbag. Yeah. Actually, yeah, I take everything I've said back. Or chili oil in my handbag. I'd fuck with chili oil in my handbag. I would do that. Chili oil and Kupy? Shut the same door.

I mean, you don't need anything else. Throw your water bottle out. Call it a day. Yeah. James Cook, not that one. Hi James. Historical gear. Eating your least favorite flavor from the variety pack first so you can get rid of them,

get them out of the way and then enjoy the flavors you actually want. 1,000% normal. I go through the least favorite first and then I don't have to stress about, oh no, there's a crap one left over. All I've got left is a cheese twist, a chicken twisty. I actually do this with most meals. I was about to say you save the best mouthful. Yeah, but even like, oh, there's broccoli.

Oh, boring. So I'll just like knock that out. I fuck with broccoli pretty hard, actually. But I appreciate it. You eat all the yummy meat and the sauce and the potato and then you're like, oh, now I've just got a plate of fucking broccoli. Yeah, no, I totally get it. So just knock that out.

Yeah. Stir fry. You know, and you eat all the good bits and then you just left with like the shitty onions and cabbage and capsicum in the bowl. So you have, but you're barking up the wrong tree with cabbage once again. Yeah, you love. You're not a cabbage streak. Yeah.

Well, you know that that's my favorite. But, um, I think stir fry, though, is a terrible example of this. Because something like a stir fry, I don't think you eat separate bits. I feel like that's like a, you get like a chopstick full or a fork full. You don't really separate the bits out for me. Whereas, like, if I was eating a plate of roast, I would probably go like, oh, I want to make sure that there's like this at the end. Tony's very skillful because she'll, about halfway through, she starts lining up the perfect last fight. She goes, okay, well, I don't want to leave myself dry there.

I don't want to overdo that one. I do. I do. That one. I do do that. A little bit of mash there, a little bit of meat and the sauce there. And that last bite is just going to be like bliss. Perfect.

And if she starts getting, and the ratios are off as she gets that last bite, she'll start stressing. I do do that. But then I go, oh, I'll have a little bit more broccoli now. So that then by the time I, because I kind of eat around the plate. Yeah. I like have a little bit as I go around. Then it's like, oh, a little treat. The same way that I like the fan to be on oscillate.

So then when it comes back around, I feel like I've earned it. Oh, little treat. Yeah, a little treat. Oh, a little treat. That's a yay from us. That's a normal. Yeah, that is a normal. Now, how are we all feeling?

because this one's fucked. I mean, we've gotten off to a bit of an interesting start, haven't we? Sorry. This is from Luna. Hi, Luna. And I probably shouldn't have said her name. Sorry, Luna. I preserved my boyfriend's first come to see what happens.

It was one of my first experiences, and I didn't know what to do about the bodily fluids. So I kept the condom for ages to observe its change of color and texture over time. I kept it under my bed and later put it in a green frame with a frog. design. My friends said that's weird, but I just think it shows how curious I was. I even think it was a bit cute. It turned yellow and crusty and was really interesting to see the changes of color and density over time.

Is this normal or nah? What was it, Charles, 8.3 billion people? And Luna found us and shared that with us. What a horrific shame. I can't be taking that on. I'm going to say nah. And on this show, we do say, I'm not going to yuck your yum. Yuck, Luna.

Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! I don't even know if it was a yum. It was just curiosity. Not approved. Yeah. Redact that from existing.

That is crazy. Luna, oh my God. This has gone in a weird direction. Yeah. God, chicken creepy though. God, isn't that the worst flavour? The people from Arnott Shapes are going to find out we talked about them on this episode and we'll come and listen to that.

I'm so sorry. I reckon the next flavour of shape will be lunar. Take that back. What's happened to us? I'm Max from Orhus, Denmark. Hi, I'm Aline from Chauvet Israel. Hi, I'm Chelsea from Madam in South Australia and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Hello.

Hi everyone. We're coming back with a different energy now. Are we? Yeah, let's just move on. Yeah. And we're happy and we're all friends and we're part of a beautiful type community that love each other and support each other.

Yes. A massive shout out to a few of our champion type is over in our Patreon. Ethan Chatterton, good on your Ethan. Kelsey Harton. Give me a hearton. Colby Smith, Dominique Mercer, Sophia Hussounia. thanks Sophia, Ed Fier, Kristen Douglas, L.A. Brantin and Scary Poppins. That's very funny. That is funny. Good on your Scary Poppins.

A huge thank you to everybody that is part of our Patreon because we absolutely love to see it. I replied to all the DMs in there. We do live streams. We just did a live stream this week. On Monday. Cues and Q's. We played a board game. That is now my new favorite board game. I told Bridges, I was like, we had so much fun playing this board game. Yeah. So, you know when like you say to someone, oh my God, we did the best thing. They go, I told you about that. Yeah. So, Torbs gets home from work.

I go, Tours gets home from work. And he goes, oh, how'd the live stream go today? Like, what'd you guys do? I was like, oh, we, I don't know where we got the idea. Like,

I don't know how it came up, but we played Hughes and Q's on the live stream. And he goes, did you? I was like, it's the sickest game. He goes, yeah, so I told you to get that game for a live stream. Yeah. That was me.

Thank you, Torbs. So, and I was like, well, it was a great idea because we had an awesome time and the tarpestrian liked it. Yeah, everyone loved it. Thank you, Togs. So thank everybody who watch. And we are taking, I mean, the competition's over,

but I just want to brag about it. We're taking eight of our TARPAs to Fiji at the end of the year. Fuck yeah. And we have just gotten beep-da-bib-bib-bib news from our friends at July, our favourite luggage. They're actually hooking all of our Tapa winners up with free luggage. So how fucking sick is that? Thanks, July.

That's actually annoyingly awesome. Yeah. So everybody. Tony and I've been paying. And through the ass for their stuff. For July luggage. Worth it. Oh,

I love it. It's excellent. Worth it. Value for money. So all of the tapas that one are going to get a fucking little voucher. They can order some luggage and we'll see you in Fiji. Booboo. Fuck, they've got a good.

And hand-drawn design drink bottles by Tony Lodge. Thank you very much. And towels shot on by me. Lucky girls. Yeah. It runs a winner. Now, huge day in the office today. Oh, well.

Okay. Well. I went to the doctors this morning. Everything okay? Well, Tony has written down what she thinks happened because there's been a lot of conjecture about what happened when I gave blood this morning. Ryan sent a text that said, going to be 10 minutes late, I'm just giving blood.

What does that I just want everybody if you're listening in the car listing at the gym if you're watching us on your beautiful television set at home on the YouTube type a little comment let me know have a little thing what does I'm just giving blood mean oh oh I'm all good I'm giving blood exclamation mark huge from Ryan will be a bit after 10 great awesome The group chat lights up. Oh my God. Ryan, so proud of you for giving blood. That's huge.

Very generous. That's so, yep, so generous. Legal Lil, she said, oh, as a fellow Needle Skarty,

I'm really proud of you for giving blood. Because I am a needle scanty. Lil and I are both scanties. Charles gives blood quite regularly. He was like, that's amazing. We've talked about the TARPA's team of blood donations that, is that through Lifeblood,

Charles? Lifeblood, yeah. And, I've talked about my connection to giving blood. My mom survived for a long time on donated blood. I've got a friend going through treatment at the moment, who I love very, very much, very, very dearly. He is surviving a lot on donated blood right now.

Shout out. So it's like really important to all of us here. And for you to just text and say you were giving blood, I was like, fuck, that's such a huge deal. Yeah. You got to love to say it. I have something in my drawer. What have you, Tony goes, I reckon I know what's happened to you.

And I said, am I allowed to write down my prediction? And Ryan said, sure, write it down. So I wrote it down. On official Tony and Ryan led ahead as well, which is old branding, that's okay. Ryan said he was giving blood. Was it, in fact, a regular blood test? What I will say, here we go. Is that when you go and get a blood test.

Yep. you have to give them blood for them to test it. No. When you are getting a blood, and this sounds like a really like semantics, when you get a blood test, you're having blood taken. Will you give it?

No. When you're having a blood. Is this the same as like if the focus group goes to you? Cups to you. Will you go to them? Nah, like, and you would say I'm just getting blood taken. They're taking it.

I'm giving it. What's the difference? No, giving blood is donating blood. I'd never use the D word. No, but you said I'm just giving blood. So when I sent that message and the praise started flooding in, I went, oh. Nah. And yeah.

Yeah. So, nah. Blood tests. But it was so nice getting the praise. Maybe you should just give blood. Nah. Imagine how great you'd feel. I'm not good with needles, yeah.

Maybe I should because the praise felt nice. And what is the point? of giving blood, if not for receiving praise. I mean, if that's all you care about, it's a good enough reason as any to give it. As soon as I sent that text and saw the replies come in, I've gone, oh. I need to talk about this on the show.

No, I've just gone, no, I've let them down the wrong path there, and that's not right. But that's actually not where the mistakes finished, would you believe? As part of getting an ADHD diagnosis. Yep. and potentially medication

they're doing cool, we'll test everything well they do the full panel rule stuff out and then even just to make sure that like if something's a bit off

and we give you these drugs maybe that might not like they just want to you know we don't want to unsettle anything and it can take a while to kind of make sure that all your bits are right

so I rock up I said bridge I have to do urine test and a blood test Yep. Oh, so it's called a blood test now. Interesting. And Bridget, yeah.

You're donating peace as well? We're donating piss as well? I never used the D word. I gave them piss. Sorry, guys, I've been up to 10. I'm giving piss. And Bridgett goes, oh, like, do you watch the needle go in? And she, like, has really good veins.

And every time she gives, she's a blood giver. Yep. And they always, they always gets compliments. Like, oh, you've got these great veins and you blah, blah, blah. Funny that you just referred to her as a blood giver. Yeah. Same. And so the urine was for like, I think, drugs and stuff.

No, I don't think it's for drugs. They're normally testing the proteins in your urine. No, I think it was actually for drugs. Sure? Yeah. Failed, obviously. What? Failed, obviously.

Yeah, geez, you've come up high in cough syrup this week, son. And then the blood to test like the ECGs. Yep. Now, have you had an ECG test? before? Where they stick the... Oh, yeah. So you know what it is.

I had to run on a treadmill with one on while I was naked. There's a whole chapter about it in my book. Thanks. Everyone has read it, obviously. Yeah. Everyone wasn't surprised by that information. I had to run naked on a treadmill with an ECJ on me. When I was having all those heart problems.

Yeah. So when I went... Quite traumatic for a fat young woman. To be fair. Yeah, probably traumatic for anyone. Yeah, not that fluttering for me, though. Lots of movement. So a full naked, strung up on the machine and made to run.

Yeah, and all I could wear was my Nicki News. No bra. That's rough. Oh, yeah. Rough for them as well, I reckon. Did you knock any of them out? Just flying cans, yeah. So I get these pieces of paper that says you run test and you see.

And I'm like, cool. So I'll get the blood test, so they'll test the UCG. You said UCG? You said ECG before. Whatever the fuck it is. So as you pointed out, it's not a blood test.

Right? Oh, no. Yeah. But I did, she goes, here's the test that I went, cool. Oh. So I've rocked up mentally that I'm going to give blood for a blood test. Have blood taken.

Yep. Yeah. And... But needles that you're like, I'm getting a needle. Yeah, I get... Yeah. E-CG, no. It's just they stick the things on it.

Yeah. So... Sometimes it hurts when they pull the sticky bits off though. Okay. So... Sorry, you know what? I'll shut the fuck up. Imagine this.

We don't talk much, me and the nurse. But in her mind, she's getting ready to stick these things on me. And in my mind, I'm ready to have blood taken. Yep. Not the same. No. So she goes, all right, we'll get yourself ready.

And I go, great. So I, like, pull my arm out. And she goes, she's sitting there like this. You've got one sleeve rolled up. Actually, she goes, did you want to lie down? And I went, oh, actually, yeah, I'm not good with blood. And she goes, hang on, let me just read this again. What?

And I go, that'd be great, actually. And so she goes, okay. And so I go and lay on the thing. And did you want to lie down? That sounds lovely. That sounds great. I'm very tired. Yeah.

And so I put my arm out again. And she wheels the machine in. And I go, oh. Like what's involved? Yeah. And she goes, can you take your whole shirt off? And I went, fuck. And she goes, yeah.

How much blood do you name? So she goes, we have to like it's on your chest. And so imagine, Oh, my love. I'm like, they're going to stick a needle into my heart. To my chest. And I was like, what the fuck? This is the last time I give blood here.

And again, get blood taken. Yep. Yeah. And then so my shirt comes off and she goes, oh, this isn't going to work. You're too hairy. And I was a bit nervous because as you know, when I went to shave my pubs the other day,

I had a misstep. And accidentally, put a landing strip in my tummy. Yeah. And I said reverse landing strip actually. Don't land here. Yeah. And I was like, can you go in there?

And she's like, I'm not going in anywhere. And so this went up for like way too low. Hang on. So is it on the nurse though at any point to be like? She starts shaving me. And so as she's shaving these little holes in my chest, you look like the smiley face from 40-year-old virgin. You know, when they wax the eyes in the behind it.

So those are paying along at home. Shirtless. And can you explain what's? I just did. It's just right above the nipples, two spots for an ECG to occur. And that was my misstep the other day there. That was the one other day, yeah. So at this stage, she shaved me.

and I still think I'm about to get an injection, like a needle. Yep. No, they put patches on and they send electrode through you and beep, beep, beep, beep. Yeah, and you just kind of, they just like measures your thing. I didn't have to run nude, which is nice. Yeah, that is nice. Yeah. So, um, he's just putting his shirt and jumper back on.

Sorry, folks. Yeah, it's a shame. Charles is very upset. Charles just quit. Fuck, that's so funny. So, um. You thinking, though, that you were getting a needle in your chest. How horrifying.

Horrifying. Like, for someone with a genuine fear of needles, like, that would be very, very much. And she goes, I'm going to have to shave you down and just pulls a fucking razor out of nowhere. That's a lot. And I'll do the other side and I'm like, two needles. Like, you got on in both nips. At one time. Like, when I'm going to do my skin injections, you've got to do one at a time.

That's like you wish you could just do both. Yeah. Yeah. Boo. I'm very, I'm proud of you for jing yourself up about getting blood taken. And that was before the urine test. Oh, well, you probably piss your pants. You're so scared about getting a needle in your chest.

Well, they said they're like, I've done it before and they're like, oh, you can take it home. I actually think because they're big on the drugs thing, they're like, no, you have to do it here. Oh, like they have to watch you do it. Yeah. I wonder why you had to do a drug test, though, like a proper drug test. I think it's because the drugs they give you. Oh, can affect. like be affected if you were taking

a lizard drug or if you're smoking weight or I also suspect some people take ADHD medication for the wrong reasons so if you might be like that way inclined yeah I don't know there was a lot of like oh we just like check this off and sign this off you'd rather that they checked and just did everything you're like well I've got nothing to hide like who cares

yeah and then so after all this ordeal she's just like and how's the fucking bedside match goes you're going to be out of piss oh well not now thank you so much for asking yeah yeah yeah yeah i think it's worse to take it home because then you got to go back there yeah but i also went in the morning so i woke up and like you know you wake up and you go to the bathroom and then i was like well i've done my morning piss yeah so then i just had to stand there awkwardly for a while and yeah i mean you pee all the time so it's probably of all the people i don't i don't

mean my little nervous dick there was like misshaving and she's just watching me piss luckily you'd just done your pubs that's what i mean i was yeah i said look at my best but that's probably not accurate either but i'm best for you yeah best for me yeah it's still all right yeah so um what a roller coaster it's been boys and girls wow wow wow wow okay so just let you know ECG is not a blood test. Yep. And I did not, in fact, give blood. Yeah.

I donated piss, though. Yeah. Yeah. And that, for science, I will say, I really, I was very surprised when you said you were giving blood. Yeah. Very proud, though. Thank you. Like, genuinely, there was no part of me that's like, he's fucked that up.

I was like, wow, that's awesome. And I appreciate that. And I'll take that on. And I thank you for all your kind words and praise. everyone. I think we should donate blood though. So true. Let's do that. From my arm? Yeah. That is normally where they do it. Yeah. Because I'm not down for the chest. How long is the appointment, Charles, when you go and donate blood, like, just regular. Just a normal blood's about like 20 minutes. 20 minutes. Depending on like how like fast it comes out.

Like maybe 30, but like not too long. Yeah. Okay. And you get like a milkshake. You get like some like party pie sausage rolls. I mean, it's worth it for that, isn't it? Yeah, I love sausage. I love sausage sauce. Arnets biscuits. Sometimes. Shapes. Shapes.

Chim-crimpy. They don't always have shapes, but they have like the like individual arnets. It's like the niece and the like arrow route. Oh. That you get after you call. A little sugary like shortbread ones. That's good. Okay.

Yeah, we're winning you over. I've got something else that might win you over. I'll buy you this. If we go and give blood, I'll buy this after. Anna Warrington. This is my love to see it. She sent this from Patreon. Anna says,

I've been on holiday this week and I've channeled my inner Tony Lodge and I've tried eggs Benedict for the first time. Amazing stuff. Anna says, Holy shit, it was outstanding. It's my new favourite. And I replied and I said,

Anna, hell yeah. Welcome to the rest of your life. Yeah. You've got to be getting amongst the Benedict. Benedict is great. Holland days, you bloody self.

There's nothing Holland days can't fix. I couldn't have said it better myself. I'm having holidays for lunch. Should we? Yeah. In a wrap. Oh, do you know what's like really fucking yum? You know the coffee club, like where all the ladies go and get like a...

I'm very familiar. Okay. At the coffee club, they use the Hollandeys that they use at Dome. They use the same one. They're on Uber Eats, Greensboro Plaza. They're on Uber Eats also from the Northland one. Really? They are.

They're a coffee club in Northland. There's a coffee club at Northland right next to the entrance at Coles. Of course there is... Next to a supermarket. Yes. Where old ladies do their best work. Yeah. And you can get an eggs Benedict from...

This is my new. You love to say it. I love you, Anna. But this is awesome. Good on, you, Anna. You can get an Eggs Benedict with that Hollandeau sauce on it. And you can swap the bread for a croissant. To think how terribly this episode started and this is where we're finishing is amazing.

We've gone from cum being monitored to a croissant Benedict. Yeah. We contain multitudes. And so it comes on a croissant and it's like the bacon and the eggs and then the delicious Hollandais, the same one that they use at Dome on the top. And then they do do like a fake espressoresky at the coffee club as well. Like it is the closest thing we... They don't.

But I mean, you know, it's the closest thing we've got to Dome here is the coffee club. Call them now. Get them on the phone. Use that iPad. Get them on the blower. Hello. To Holland Aes. espresso croissants.

Sorry, I don't know what I was just saying. The coffee club Northland closed on Uber-its on the 7th of April 2026. Well, I guess he's going to Northland of this. God is dead. Shout out to my boy Matt Macklin

who works at Swinburne University. Slite. Tapa Legend. Amazing. Thanks, Maddie. And earlier this week, Sam Mack and the Channel 7 Weather team were live from Swinburne University. Yeah, and they had the dancing robots there.

It was awesome. Really? Yeah. Tony's the Channel 7 girl. I am. And well, there are a few different locations around Swinburne across the morning and like different departments and stuff. I think so.

The ones that I saw they were in the like science and they had like some high school kids there that well, you know how you can go and do like, oh, I do Tuesday night like Piac or whatever and I get to go and do like science stuff at the university. Yeah. So the Channel 7 weather team is doing all these crosses from all these. different locations around Swinburne University and match job is like communications and PR and stuff so he was like organizing and stuff sick and he drove Sam Mack and the the cameraman from like one location and the human emoji um from like one location to another

throughout the morning or whatever uh as they're doing it and so Sam Mac gets into the car yeah TV Sam Mac gold Logie nominee we've got his book We've got his book. Accidental Weatherman. Accidental Weatherman. That's what the book's called. Sorry for knowing that. And then, so they get into his car and Sam Matt goes,

oh, what are you listening to, Matt? Just put the picture up, Charles. The episode is called How to Pea in a Leotard. And Apple Play must be nice. For all they knew, Matt has like had trouble peeing in a leotard. And so he's- And it's like an instructional. piece of information.

Yeah, so because the how to pee in a leotard is the title of one of our episodes. That's in big letters. Tony and Ryan's in small letters. And so then he has to explain that to Sam Mack that that's like just the name of the episode. It's not like, oh, it's like a funny thing. Like it's like funny. Yeah, I'm not personally trying to find out how to pee in a leotard. And obviously that will anyone who is trying to hide the fact that I'll try to pee in a leotard would

say that. So. Good to hear that Sam Mack is not a big fan. He didn't go, oh, Tony and Ryan, I'll recognize that. He just went, well, okay. What's going on, Matt? Yeah. You're in a lead to hard on. A Tony and Ryan friends are yours. You ran a lead hard under that suit.

Yeah. How do you pain it? I'm trying to find out. I'm doing some research at the moment. Yeah. Well, sorry that that happened, Matt. Sorry, Matt. And Sam Mack, thanks for not listening to the podcast.

appreciate that. I feel really let down. I'll watch him every day. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Like I feel like this support goes one way. After my daughter. And the support does not come back down the direction.

Do you reckon he got the name Mabel from us? Yep. I think his daughter Mabel's older. No. I think his daughter Mabel's older. Maybe. But like, yes, he definitely copied you. Thank you.

Yeah. Accidental weather, man. I won't be watching Channel 7 after that. Take that back. That's all right. I don't think I can. I'm heartbroken by that. What are you going to watch instead?

Carl Sandelands Live. The Today Show? What's on Channel 10 in the morning? I won't be watching the Today show. What the fuck? Sky News. You know what? I might watch nothing.

I'm into YouTube at the moment. Casey Nice that blogs. Yeah, I'll just keep rolling that out. Though I can't watch that in the morning because then I'll get stuck at home. I'll be watching. I'll be glued to the television. Won't be able to come to work. Anyway, have a wonderful weekend, everyone.

Have a great weekend. We'll be back on YouTube tomorrow with the reaction video. Do we know what tomorrow's reaction video is, Charles? No, we don't. Tonight is time today. Great. The moon, the bear and the big blue house will be waiting for you to come and play. Next Monday, clue number one for where our birthday party is.

Where in the world is Tony and Ryan's fifth birthday party? Clue 1 is on Monday Although you may already have a word search I just sang the song from Bear in the Big Blue House I hope people enjoyed that love you See ya Renovation fails out tomorrow on YouTube Slave renovation fails

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