Toni and Ryan - Stop Hating On Haters

Episode Date: January 8, 2024

The moment we've all been waiting for: TONI AND RYAN'S INS AND OUTS FOR 2024. Love ya!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge. We are calling the motherland. We are. Christ Church, New Zealand. This is Olivia. I'd love to Olivia in New Zealand. That was quite good. Thanks. Hello.

Olivia, Tony and Ryan, how are you doing? How are you doing? Oh my God, this is so funny. I'm good. How are you? Now, Tony has decided she's going to... Olivia in New Zealand. Yeah. Yep, and got the response. Yep.

Just a little pun. That's okay. Great. Olivia, will you approve today's episode? Yeah, I'd love to. Legend. Hey, it's Olivia from Christchurch, New Zealand, and I approve this podcast.

Welcome to today's show. Happy New Year. Coming up, we're going to do ins and outs. Happy New Year. And we've just discovered we've got too many ins and outs, so we're culling. But Toni, because she's a fun and exciting young lass, has just said ins. Orthopedic shoes? That hasn't made the official list. It hasn't made the official list.

Because I've got some on now. And how do your feet feel? Wow, never felt better. She's well flexible. Yeah. She's got her foot up on the desk. That's actually quite impressive. Yeah.

It would be more impressive if you had underwear on. Yeah, sorry. Fuck. It would be more impressive if you had underwear on. Yeah, sorry. All three orthopaedic shoes for your comfort. Cool. But our ins and outs for the year coming up, and I think we all enjoyed checking back in on them in December last year. Sorry, I love you about my leg being so high. I was trying to move on.

That happened. Yeah, it really did. I liked checking in on them too. But do you think the fact that we now know we're going to check in later in the year has swayed your choices? Oh, it didn't. But now I'm wondering whether I should have picked like breathe every day. I did mine.

Nailed it. All right, that's going up. But first, these are top confessions. Top confessions. Tony and are top confessions. Top confessions. Tony and Ryan podcast confessions. Tonyandryan.com.au. Submit anonymously. Frustratingly anonymous.

We cannot get back in touch with you, so please give us all the juicy details. Yeah, don't leave anything out. I asked before, but he just says some things in like an Ebola attitude. No, you've got to do the attitude. You've got to give me the delivery that it deserves because this story deserves the delivery that it deserves. I don't know if it does. Confession from a teenage baller.

When I was 19 years old, my girlfriend's parents were out of the house. So I was over there doing what any teenagers would be doing in that situation. We've all been house. Oh. So I was over there doing what any teenagers would be doing in that situation. As a matter of fact, we've all been there. Yeah. Yeah. He then uses a sentence to describe what he was doing. Do you want to have a guess?

Oh. Considering it's a teenage baller. Instantly in my mind. And you say it with the attitude and then I'll give you the correct one. Okay. Can I tell you a very quick story? Yeah, yeah. When I was at uni, we used to have at the end of every show that we did,

there was like a massive party and everyone would just get like loose and it was like really, really fun. And we were all like, you know, 18, 19, 20. So you're like really in that party place. Making out with people. Yeah. And so Torbs and I were there together. Like we were already sleeping together.

So we were kind of there together. And then this other guy comes over and he's so, like, fusion many, like, he's really. And I was kind of a bit worried for him. And I was like, oh, Tommy, are you okay? Like, you all right? And he goes, yeah, I'm just fucking slaying puss. Out to 2024. You know what?

That's actually probably better than what this guy said. And, like, so now, like, Torbs and I still say it to each other because it just makes me laugh. So it was, like, 10 or 11 years ago. Are you making fun of Tommy when you say it or after you guys have an intimate time, does he go, hey, guess what? I did this after then. Slaying the puss.

I was there. I was said puss. Yeah, I was the puss. Yeah, you saw it just before. Yeah. But, yeah, and so as soon as you just said like, what has this kid said? Yeah, that right energy. But you see, it needs the delivery.

You can't just say, oh, yeah, and then he said he was slaying the puss. You know, like, you gotta really give it to it, so give me your best fucking, give me your best teenage baller line. We were doing what any teenagers would be doing in that situation. I was laying that thick pipe.

Spelt with four capital C's. Oh, like a hot chocolate in the air. Yeah. It's thick. Why that thick pipe? Sorry, I feel like I- That doesn't make sense. I know the saying, but it just doesn't make sense.

Isn't that pooing? Like, laying some pipe? Isn't that shitting? No. Yeah, like, oh, I'm just laying some cable. You know how they say that? Yeah, but that's cable, not pipe. But it's the same.

Conduit. You know, it's the same thing. All right, imagine you're at a party and Tommy comes up and he goes, fuck, this guy's so drunk, you all right? And your mind has just said, I'm just shitting everywhere. I'm just dropping the keys off at the pool. Why does he keep bragging about taking big shits at parties when he goes into a bedroom with a girl?

What happened in there? Yeah, it took a shit. Can I just add he wasn't in a bedroom with a girl. What happened in there? Yeah, it took a shit. Can I just add, he wasn't in a bedroom with a girl. He was just stumbling around the lounge room. There was no puss to be seen. That's what I said. We were in a backyard. There was nothing going on.

Point to the puss you've slayed, Tommy, because I'm calling you a liar. Yeah, I'd love to see it, babe. Anyway. Between innings. Oh, that's way worse! Between innings. And outings, if you don't mind. I went to the fridge and bent down to grab a drink. And that's when you know you're having innings,

when you're like, I need a drink. I need a Gatorade. Her cat saw my low-hanging ball sack from behind, because he's like naked bent over. And the cat jumped up and gripped on to the ball sack from behind, clawed into it and the 15 pound cat was swinging like a trapeze artist at a genital circus.

The nails were digging into my sack and it hurt like fuck. Swinging. So you could say that he got slayed by a boss? Yes, but you've also stolen his punchline. Oh, sorry. I screamed out for my girlfriend to help.

She didn't help. She instead just came into the room pissing herself laughing. I mean, as you would. You can't not laugh at that. Yeah. What a vision. The pussy I was destroying with my goods was laughing at my goods being destroyed by a pussy. I swear Tommy sent this in.

It must have been him. Years later, I have two children, so no long-term damage. PPS, I still don't trust cats. I'm really glad that he ended this saying that he's like grown up now and he's not someone that would maybe say innings and laying some pipe. Well, no, but he wrote that in. But he's written that now. Yeah.

He didn't say at the time I said. Yeah, no, he's like, oh yeah, and between bloody, between drinks I got a drink, you know. So hang on. A guy, yeah, just to confirm. Yeah. A guy who has two children has used the term laying that thick pipe. So you can imagine him being the doctors and, you know,

the gynecologist. Oh, so there was any problems with the conception? And he goes, well. Nah, I was laying some thick fucking pipe, mate. Yeah. You should have seen the baby batter that came out. You know, or whatever. And has the pregnancy been fine so far?

Baby batter? Yeah, ever since I was. Don't say baby batter again. Sorry. I'm never actually eating fish and chips again because I'm going to – I'll see them with that raw bit of batter and I've got to dip it into the batter and I'll be like, oh, that's from Tommy's room. God, they've been sliding that bush.

Fuck. Let's just take a sip of water. Yeah, between innings, mate. I need a bit of a break. Sharehouse Revenger says, my flatmate in my student accommodation sucked. They weren't nice, they weren't clean, and they had it coming. Like the revenge.

Yeah. Not the baby batter. Sorry. Sorry. I've just said it so many times now. I had money taken out of my bond because they didn't clean their room before an inspection. See, there is an inherent flaw in, like, sharing houses with people.

Yeah. There needs to be a better system to protect people that, like. The good one. Yeah. As a rule-abiding citizen, Tony Lodge, you wouldn't be the one getting caught short. No. And when they say, oh, you need to get it steam cleaned,

you would actually get it steam cleaned instead of vacuuming it yourself and going, yeah. I'm also never the arsehole that takes off and goes like, oh, like let me know if I owe you any money. I'm the one that like ends up having to do it. Yeah, yep. Which annoys me because then I'm like, oh, there needs to be rules. Yeah, not enough rules.

Yeah, there needs to be more rules. One day I'm sitting in the bathroom clipping my toenails and I accidentally dropped the toenail clippers into the toilet. They weren't toenail clippers from Hawaii, were they? They weren't souvenir toenail clippers from Hawaii. And just putting it out there, the quality, toenail clippers from Hawaii, were they? They weren't souvenir toenail clippers from Hawaii. And just putting it out there, the quality, as hilarious as the Hawaiian toenail clippers are,

the quality's not good. So if you put them in water for more than four to five days, they rust up and they're rendered unusable. And then you try and do it and they go, try and put it down. Yeah. The toilet was so gross, in brackets, see above about being clean, so I didn't want to put my hand in to get the toenail clippers.

So I went to the kitchen and got my flatmate's chopsticks and then used the chopsticks to grab my clippers out of the toilet and then put the chopsticks back in the drawer and I cleaned the chopsticks just as well as she cleaned her bedroom before the inspection. The next night, because we were students, we were both having our ramen. Yep. And I just sat there eating the smuggest bowl of fantastic noodles

as she was eating hers with her chopsticks and just like enjoying the view. I didn't care how dirty she was from then on because I knew what she'd eaten. Did she get sick? Do we know? All the Avengers said was, I hope she shat for days. Fuck, that's so disgusting. That's why you can't be nasty to people that are clean

because they're... Cunning? They're cunning. Say clean cunning three times fast. Clean cunning, clean cunning, clean cunning. To be honest, you can't trust who you live with. What's the truth? Rich has probably done that to you.

Oh. I remember, like, threatening, like, my sisters and saying, like, if you don't clean the bathroom, like I'll put your toothbrush in the toilet because I'd obviously seen it on a movie or TV or TV show or something. And mum was like, you would never do that to someone and I wouldn't. Until I did. No, and I wouldn't do that.

But like actually thinking about doing it is one thing, but actually doing it is like. So there was this, I don't know if this is an old wives tale. I'm pretty sure this was from a Mural Bark high school. Oh, okay. Two blokes, about 16 or 17, mates. One of them hooks up with his mate's girlfriend. Oh, hang on.

Oh, fucking hang on. Two mates. Two mates. One of them's dating a girl. Yep. And then the other bloke hooks up with the girl, like at a party. Oh, fucking hang on. Two mates. Two mates. One of them's dating a girl. Yep. And then the other bloke hooks up with the girl, like at a party. Oh my God. While they're still together.

Yeah. So they broke up and she was, you know, busted cheating and it was all fucked or whatever. Yeah. So there's just three people now. Yep. Yep. So the guy was strangely fine with it. Yeah.

This guy. The guy who was cheated on. Yeah. By his partner and also his best mate. It's like both sides. Like, who was cheated on. Yeah. By his partner and also his best mate. It's like both sides. Who can you trust? Yeah. So at his 21st birthday, the one who did the cheating.

Yep. Tony's trying to. Sorry, I'm just because it's really hard to visualize here. Do you need me to give them names? No. So years later, 21st birthday. Yep. The guy who was cheated on is at the 21st birthday of the guy who did the cheating.

Yep. And it's, you know, the speech is the 21st. Totally. And he goes, oh, yeah, oh, mate, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So great that so many friends and family are around. Since everyone's listening and we've got a room full of people that he loves and respects. No. I would just like to let everyone know that four years ago he hooked

up with my girlfriend and I never told him, but I shoved his toothbrush up my arsehole, wiped it around and just put it back and never told him. And he kept using it for months and months and months. So fucking sucked in, you piece of shit. Have a good night, everyone. Yeah, the dessert is out. Yeah.

Oh, I hope that's not a wife's. I hope that's real. I'm pretty sure it is. And the fact that he just held on to that to the right moment, I don't know if I respect that or maybe they're a psychopath. What's that thing like? Delayed gratification. The, like, drinking poison and expecting the other person to,

like, he's held on to that for all that time. Imagine if he just let that go. But you don't. He slept with your girlfriend. Out for 2024. Yeah. Letting go of it. Venom.

In's and out's up next, though. Woo! Hey, it's Olivia from Crash Hitch, New Zealand, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Yeah. A massive shout-out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. That's Tapas, Tony and Ryan Podcast. Sydney, good on you, Sydney.

Petro Keechuk, good on you, Petro. Thanks, Pete. Petro. Big PK. Do you remember PK? Was that gum? Yeah. Was that gum? I like this. I like tarp of PK. Do you remember PK? Was that gum? Yeah. Was that gum?

I like this. I like tarpa PK. Oh, yeah. Tarpa PK is my best friend. PK was like a poor man's juicy fruits, which is a – nah, it just wasn't for you. Ricky's juicy fruit. Yeah, nah. PK had some weird like anesthetic.

You know when you drink Dr Pepper and it just isn't right? I don't think I've ever had it. It makes me a bit nervous. Yeah, so does PK. They're probably made by the same guy. Probably. Go on. No.

Dean Cully, good on you, Dean. Ashley Tomlin-Byrne. Mouthful. Josh Gibbons, good on you, Josh. Gibbo. Thanks, Gibbo. And thanks for being part of the Patreon. Yeah.

And well done to all of our bunch of champion tapas who got Christmas cards. Yes. And I love seeing them send them through. And I love seeing them placed on people's mantle pieces and stuff. It was very awesome. It was my heart. It was my heart. We're also giving Patreon a little bit of a refresh.

Yes. So there's some changes coming. Yeah, we'll post in the Facebook group and Instagram and show you all the new shit that we're doing this year. Yeah. It's going to be fun. It's going to be fun. Ins and outs of 2024. So we did this this year. Yeah. It's going to be fun. It's going to be fun. Ins and outs of 2024. So we did this last year.

Yeah. We lay them down now. We'll check back in at the end of the year. Would you like to go first? What's your first in? My first in, I've tried to, because I did have many that I had to kind of cull down. Did Orthopaedicic shoes make the cut?

Orthopedic shoes hasn't made this cut, but we did talk about it already, so maybe that's like my third in. Okay. But I put cooking and like entertaining more. Ah. Because since we've moved. It's an entertainer's kitchen. Well, yeah, we've got like a bit of space now.

What did I call it? A bread kitchen. Bread house. It's a bread house. And so I actually, yeah, we've got like a bit of space now. What did I call it? A bread kitchen. Bread house. It's a bread house. And so I actually, very, very lucky. So it was my 30th birthday like late last year and Torb's bought me something that I've really wanted for a long time and never been able to justify because it is a big purchase. What was it?

I got a KitchenAid. Oh my God. For my birthday. Welcome to the suburbs, babe. I know. I love it. I've used it so much. Really?

Yeah. How many times? Probably like 10. Whoa. Yeah, because I made like desserts over Christmas. What kind of desserts do you make in the KitchenAid? I made. Like little banana breads or like cupcakes and that kind of thing?

I made like a big mousse, like a choccy mousse. Oh. I made like batter. Like, sorry. Sorry. Did Timmy come, Tommy come around for lunch? Tommy came around and he slayed my puss. No, like I made pancakes.

Like I made these like fluffy ricotta pancakes. They were really, really yummy. I also made a few dips. Is it easy? Yeah. Well, because it's just a big mixer. Yeah. But it's that you can kind of actually like do other things while you're doing it.

So it's really easy. I think I've confused it with more of a thermo mix you're thinking of. Yeah, like more of a cakey doughy. This is like a yummy, not that I wouldn't do that. Well, just mix it. You can mix anything, can't you? Can you like make cocktails in it or is that dumb? Well, you wouldn't need to because that's a shake, not a shake and hot stir.

What about a tub of ice cream, a bottle of Baileys and some violet crumbles? Well, yeah, you can make, there's like an ice cream bowl that you put in the freezer and then you can make ice cream in it because the bowl's cold and you can churn in it and Can we do this when I come over on Saturday? I don't have the ice cream bowl. No, just mix. It's like $200. For the?

For the bowl. Can we just put the whole thing in the freezer? No, let's not try it. Let's not ruin a good thing. Yeah. Okay. I'll take the dip. I'll take the bowl. Can we just put the whole thing in the fridge? No, let's not try it. Let's not ruin a good thing. Yeah. Okay. I'll take the dip. I'll take the dip.

Yeah, so I made like dips and I made, we had like a cornbread because we had like some meat and stuff on New Year's. It was really, really good. And so like it's also like doing my hobbies and putting effort into things I enjoy because I realise I've got all these things that make me really happy when I do them and I never make the time. So just to confirm, it's cooking and entertaining. Yeah.

In brackets, use the. Enjoy my hobbies. Yeah. Okay. It's not a Thermomix. It's a KitchenAid. I feel like you need to be more specific because you're being too broad because you're trying to get a win for the end of the year.

I am. I am. Okay. Cooking and entertaining more. Okay. Because I've cooked. I reckon I've cooked in our kitchen, our new house more than Torb's. Really?

More than I ever cooked in our old house. It makes me really happy. We've got space. Do you reckon it's because we had a few weeks off and you had time and energy? Well, that was even like at the end of the year before the break. Yeah. You're a new woman. I just actually really enjoy it.

I'm really happy. Yeah, I know. I just actually really enjoy it. I'm really happy. Yeah, I know. I know. Yeah, just slaying the puss, basically. Do you want me to do my second in or are we doing like in, in, in, in, like one for one? You know what I mean? First of all, never ever.

In, in, in. Yeah, ever. That's bad. I'll go, I'll go. Okay. My in. One of your ins I'll go. I'll go. Okay. My in. One of your ins. One of my ins.

Yeah. Is being a fan of shit and telling them. Oh, yeah. Oh, you just want people to text you. I love the pod. This is my in. This is my in. But you know how like some people, especially like the cesspool that is Twitter, everyone's

hating on shit. And I've got another speech about haters coming up. Oh, God. I'm out. Yeah. But often people will complain about stuff. Or like, you know, you buy something and it's not right and you complain about it.

But very rarely do you go, hey. A positive review? Yeah. And so I think just being like, there's people who I watch on TikTok and stuff all the time and I think they're hilarious, but I've never DM'd them and gone, hey, by the way, bro. Love your shit. I fucking, every time your thing pops up, I live for it.

That's a great in. That's a nice positive in. I've got some examples. Okay. The Inspired Unemployed's ginger beer. You know I've got a beer range? Yeah. The ginger beer just fucking hits.

And that's a fave of yours, the ginger beer? I haven't had it. Ruben Solo, that guy that does TikToks. How many times have I showed you his stuff? Lots of times, yep. Sultana Brand. Oh, that's an in for me. Oh, no, it's not because I've got another one.

We've talked about Sultana Brand all summer long. So should we text colleagues, Kellogg's? I think so. What should we do? Should we get in touch with Kellogg's? Let them know we just really love their product. Can someone just look up, does Sultana Brand have its own Instagram account? I doubt it.

Surely it'll be, like, they'll have, like, a Kellogg's Instagram. Sultana Brand. I've spelt it Suntana Brand. Suntana Brand. That's not what we're after. That's surprisingly not there. Shockingly, Suntana Brand also doesn't have a. That's a shame.

Oh, outs for. Tash Sultana. Outs for 2020. No, there's no Sultana Brand. That's a.. That's a shame. Oh, outs for. Tash Sultana. Outs for 2020. No, there's no Sultana Brand. That's a rude. Oh. There's an unofficial one. Yeah, I can see that with one follow up.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, I'll find someone to DM and say good job. Yeah, I think we'll let them know. We could email Kellogg's customer feedback. They've probably got a thing. Sniffer dogs at airports.

I don't know how we DM them, but we're on board. Yeah, we are on board. But someone's got to tell them. Someone's got to give them a little smooch and say good job. And people going back to university at an older age and do a grad school. Like I'm a fan of that shit. If I see that shit, I'm going to reply and be like good for fucking you. I reckon as well on that, something I've realised is that like people are not into the process,

but they're into the win. Like so when you go, oh, I'm like, I'm really trying to run run 5Ks and people go like, oh, that's embarrassing. Why are you trying? But then when you post, I've run 5Ks, they go, wow, that's amazing. People aren't into, it's embarrassing to try, but then the win is all good. I disagree. You know I disagree. Oh, no.

Tony's embarrassing to try theory has been pushed on me for years. No, no, no. I'm saying that people go like, oh, why would you start a brand or something? And then when it's awesome, they go, wow, how cool that you started that brand. Out. Fuck those guys. If you went in from day one, go fuck yourself.

But that's what I'm saying. Yep. Like fucking go back to uni. That's awesome. Get it done. People congratulate you when you pass. But they're like, oh, you're going back to uni. That's going to be really hard.

Like, nah, fucking do it. Fucking do it. Inns, being a fan of shit, tell them. Yeah, I like that. I have another in. In for 2024, genuine weather chat. Welcome. Yeah, because I think.

It's awesome. Yeah, people think that weather chat is like. Losers. Awesome. Yeah. People think that weather chat is like. Losers. Is for like, oh, it's just, you know, go to small talk.

No. No, I want to genuinely chat with people about the weather. And this maybe goes against what I said once recently, maybe last year about my boyfriend Torbs becoming a radar guy and he got quiet into weather chat. No, that's different. That's a bit different. That's next level. I'm glad that you appreciate that's a bit different.

Yeah. Although weather chat is a gateway to being a radar guy. But I think that chatting genuinely about the weather, that's in for me because it's interesting that it gets hot and cold. You got to hand it to the weather. She's read chapter one of the book. Chapter one of weather, hot and cold. What was the day?

It was the last week when it was like a real stormy day here in Melbourne and it was fucking crazy. Yeah. So in the morning it was like really hot and sunny and whatever. And then afternoon. It just turned. Lightning, thunder, the whole shebang. So I was doing at my house when I saw the flash of lightning,

because I was with Mabel, then I'd go one, two. Because you count. And then when you hear the sound, that's how many kilometres from the thing it is. Yeah. And we got to six. Yeah, it was about five or six k's from our house too. Yeah, crazy k's.

So then what I wanted. It must have been right in the middle of us. Because it was about the same, and that's about. Coincidence, chat. Well, you dove straight in when I brought it up. Yeah. That's not a coincidence. That's like interesting.

Coincidence is not interesting. So, and this is what I said to Bridget, and I don't think she's on our wavelength with our enthusiasm for the weather. Yeah. So, you know, like the back corner of like our main living room, there's like the two big windows, the high ones. I said to Bridget, as that storm started rolling in, I was like,

oh, I want to go and as that storm started rolling in, I was like, oh, I want to go and get my fun armchair from the study and just sit it right in the window. Watch the storm roll in. And get like a whiskey and just sit there and just like watch it come. And I said, I was almost, I didn't want to say watch it come all over me because it'll get clipped by a little woot and then it'll make me look bad. But you know how like in those classic old cowboy world times where you'd sit on like the porch?

Yeah. And like rock. Watch the storm rolling. Yeah. I live for that shit. Out on the patio. We sit. Yeah.

What's the next line? And the humidity we breathe. It's a dry heap. We watch the lightning crack over Ryan's backyard. We are Australia. This is Australia. Anyway, yeah, I just think that people, when you start chatting about the weather, they think that you're just doing like arbitrary small talk.

I genuinely have enthusiasm about chatting about the weather. I will test your love for weather chat. You can. At any time, I'm always ready. My next in is a sad in. It's a depressing in, and it's an in I don't want to be in. It's depressing. It's depressing.

In for 2024. Yeah. Accepting that I am a gluten-free man. Yeah, that's a good in. Yeah. For your arsehole. Yeah. I was going to say outs gluten, but I had too many outs

and not enough ins. Oh, no. See, I was going to say outs gluten, but I had too many outs and not enough ins. Oh, no. See, I'm actually a beautiful, positive woman, so I was struggling with I had too many ins. Yeah, no, I'm a negative, negative man. Although, yeah, no, we'll get there. But I've kind of been gluten-free. I've kind of known I've been like a bit gluten-free IBS-y for like a long time.

Well, so you went to the – this isn't you just being like, I have this. You went to the thing. To a nutritionist. You did the – A cutout shit for four weeks. The diet thing.. You went to the thing. To a nutritionist. You did the. A cutout shit for four weeks. The diet thing. Added stuff back in, which is a fucking punishment.

What did they call it? Elimination diet. Yeah. And even though I had an egg and bacon McMuffin on the way in today and I will be paying for that later, I think this is the year where I, because what I do is I know I'm gluten free and then I go, oh, no, I'll just have a sandwich and then I feel like shit later and then I just feel like crap and bloated and I'm gluten free and then I go, oh no, I'll just have a sandwich. And then I feel like shit later. And then I just feel like crap and bloated.

And I'm like, what if I just didn't do that? Yeah. I rate that. Yeah. And I was pretty good in the US because I was like, we don't have time for me to be bloated and have a sore tummy. So I was pretty like, especially when we had those big couple of days and I actually felt better for it.

And I was like, hey Ryan, spoiler alert, you can feel like this every day. Yeah. And then I just ate bad food again because I went to Texas and they were like, do you want a burger? And I was like, yes. Yeah, I will eat lots of that crap that I know that I shouldn't have. To be honest, I'm very proud of you. Thank you.

Because it is not easy when you are like, I can't eat the foods I want to eat. But it will make you feel better and I'll support you. I bought that, remember when I made you that lasagna, I made that gluten-free. You made your own Bechamel sauce. Yeah, Bechamel. That's funny. Also, there is gluten-free Sultana brand in the stuff.

I have seen it and I wouldn't eat it because I know how expensive it is. They also have gluten-free Scotch fingers now, you know, those biscuits. Oh, don't tell me that. Yeah. Fucking RIP. Yeah. That 5K. You know those biscuits? Oh, don't tell me that. Yeah. Fucking RIP. Yeah. That 5K. Nummies.

Yeah. Oh, fuck. I forgot that we fucking committed to that. Yep, okay. All right. Out. It's Tony Lodge. Rushing.

Out for 2024. Rushing. Don't rush me. Welcome, sweetheart. I refuse. Don't rush me. I will not be rushing around. I'm going to be taking my time, enjoying myself.

No rushing. It's out for 2024. Are you, all right, say you have to be somewhere at one. It's 12.55. Yeah. Do you not rush to get there on time or are you going to like plan ahead and be early so therefore you will never need to be rushed? Well, I'm always the second one.

Yeah. I think I mean, I don't mean rushing as much in like terms of literally rushing around to be on time. I think, you know, when like you just feel rushed to like make a decision or do something or just like, you know, the like hustle thing of like, yeah, you've got to like rush around and be a million places. This isn't mine, but out, hustle, fuck, no, you can't be fucked. But, you know, I'm slowing down.

Yeah, good. I don't mine, but out hustle. Fuck, no. You can't be fucked. I'm slowing down. Yeah, good. I don't want to be rushing. Whenever I'm rushing around, I feel it makes me really anxious. And even if I'm having a conversation with someone where I feel rushed, if they're like, can you make a thing? And I'm just like, oh, it like really makes me not feel good. So I'm just like not going to let people rush me. So not being rushed, you're going to do a lot more cooking.

You're into weather chat. Yeah. I feel like this is just like, it's like cruisy. It's like you've moved from the city and you just embrace. I'm in the country now. You're not in the country at all. You know, my dad got so angry that you said that about Reservoir. Doesn't he listen to the podcast?

Once. And he just goes, what's with her saying Preston and Reservoir is the country? Yeah. It's just funny. It's just for comedy. Yeah. But. Rod, get over it.

But he was, and I don't disagree with him in this part. He goes, people listening all around the world don't know that that's not true. But who cares? It doesn't matter. Dad does. My dad around the world don't know that that's not true. But who cares? It doesn't matter. Dad does. My dad does. It doesn't matter. It does to him.

Well, so when he gets a foreign exchange student come over, he can go, well, look, it's not this country. Yeah. Who cares? He does. Okay, Rod. All right, Rod, sorry for saying that Reservoir was the country. That's ridiculous.

It was just for comedy. It's for a train stop from the city. It was just for the comedy. He sounds rushed. He sounds like he needs to slow comedy. It's four train stops from the city. It was just for the comedy. He sounds rushed. He sounds like he needs to slow down. That's why I'll be honest. But, yeah, so for me, rushing. I'm just really happy and I just want to stay, like, chill.

Because I actually just feel really nice. I just really love my life at the moment. Was weed in for you this year? No. Okay. No. Do you have an out? Referring to dogs as doggos or fur babies.

Put it in the fucking bin. I do hate it when people say doggo. Fuck that right off. It is out, out, out. You do say it. No, I hate it when people say it, but I have someone in my life that says it a lot. Who? Anyway.

Some new stuff in 2024. Out apparently. Yeah, wow. Yeah, no, I'm – Yeah, I'm fucking off that. I will back you in on that. Yeah, okay. Out for me for 2024, FaceTime.

Yeah, it's exhausting. I actually cannot do it. Yeah. I, like, obviously there are caveats to that. Who are you FaceTiming with? Well. Your brother and your sister, are they FaceTiming? Well, yeah, like, I've got people that don't live in Melbourne.

They're like, oh, should we catch up on FaceTime? And I'm like, I just. What about your friends from the city since you moved out to the country? Well, yeah, out in the country. You can barely get the internet style up out there. Oh, but like when you speak to Brie or Josh, will you FaceTime them? Nah. Yeah, nah.

Because they get it. Yeah, they get it. The thing about FaceTime or Zoom or anything like that for me is that I, as an introverted extrovert, I get my energy from other people. So if I'm putting. What's the introverted part of that? Well, that's like the. I would declare you a straight extrovert.

Nah. Well, remember I did that quiz and it said. But anyway, like the extroverted part of me, right? Dr. Buzzface. Yes, they did. No, so like because there is part of me that needs the downtime. Yeah. But anyway, the extroverted part of me, though,

I get heaps of energy from other people, but I put a lot out. Yeah. And I'm just fucking throwing all this energy at a screen and getting nothing back, and it really, like, makes me feel like shit. Like tired? So tired. Really depleted. Like the anxiety that I get around doing, like, a long, like if someone's just like, hey,

like do you remember when I said that my friend announced that they were pregnant and they FaceTimed me? In the supermarket. And I was in the supermarket and it was a quick like, oh, my God, look at this little bar. I was like, great, that's amazing. It's a big celebration. But like a long winding catch up where I'm just like, oh,

I feel like trapped. Because, you know, when you're on the phone and you can, like, be on headphones and you're kind of, like, walking around and doing stuff, you can't do that with FaceTime. So I feel very trapped. So remember when you had that job where you were, like, too good at it and that you got your job done really fast and then you were like, oh, it's so weird because I don't know

what to do with the rest of the week. They're giving me this extra work. I'm like, just be shitter. Don't tell them, yeah. Maybe you just need to be shitter at FaceTime. Maybe you're doing such a good job that it's like such high energy that you just need to be shitter at it. Just go, I'm actually just going to half-ass FaceTime.

Like put less into it. I mean, I like the, but you know what I'm saying? You're too good at FaceTime. You're a great FaceTimer. I've never seen anyone FaceTime like you. I'm just an animated person. Yeah. And I feel like when people want to talk to me, I'm like,

want to give them like a show when maybe I don't need to do that. Okay. We've already got a show that you do every day. Yeah, I know. It's too much. If you want some Tony time, fucking jump on Spotify, dog. Yeah, pay for me in the Patreon. I'll take your four dollars a month. You, I know. It's too much. If you want some Tony time, fucking jump on Spotify, dog. Yeah, pay for me in the Patreon. I'll take your four dollars a month.

You've got some. Yeah, so I'm working on that one. I don't really. Yeah. It's just not good for me, but also a very quick touch on another out that I said last year. Jeans. They're out for me at the moment.

It's the 9th of January today. Still no jeans. Yeah. Haven't done jeans since about October last year. Thanks for the jean date. Pretty good. Denim, denim, up denim. We'll work on that as well.

You're out. Your final out. Out for 2024. Hating on haters. Haters are people too. Hating on haters. Yeah, that's out. It's out.

It's out. You literally, your in was Yeah, that's out. That's out. That's out. You literally, your in was like, I hate it when people are negative. No, no. My in. Did you listen? My in was being positive. But you said, oh, I hate it when people are on the thing being negative. Yeah, so don't hate on the haters.

Because hating on them is being negative. Like two negatives doesn't equal a positive. Let me give you an example. This one bloke did a poll, right? And he goes, and this isn't based on our 5K chat, but he goes, like on his Instagram, he goes, oh, do you reckon I could run a marathon this year? Yeah.

And it was like yes or no. And like 99% were like, yeah, dog, get it. And then I see this and he goes, well, three people said no and I'm going to prove the haters wrong. And I was like, hey, first of all, you asked a question and they answered honestly, so shut the fuck up. Second of all, maybe concentrate on the 99 that said yes and just get gassed up on that and go around the marathon

and live your best life. Don't waste your energy hating on the haters. So are you kind of saying like don't give that oxygen? Like just let that, like let it, not let it go because that's like easier said than done, but don't like, because another thing that you see sometimes is when like people have 100 positive comments and one shitty one and they reply to the shitty one and you go, what about the people that said you look really good or whatever?

Yeah, reply to them. And so when I say don't hate on the haters, it's not to protect the haters. It's for you. Yeah, just leave it. Yeah. Although I love this tweet from Drew. Who's Drew?

That guy that sent the tweet. Oh, okay. Oh, sorry, it sounded like you were like, oh, from Drew. And I was like, oh, should I know who that is? I don't. I mean, should I know who that is? I don't either. It's Drew the tweet. Okay. Oh, sorry. It sounded like you were like, oh, from Drew. And I was like, oh, should I know who that is? I don't. I mean, should I know who that is? I don't either. It's Drew Carey.

Yeah. He goes, and I don't know why. Again, it might have just been the right time of the day, but it's just fucking, I just love this from Drew. The haters told me I couldn't do it. And they were correct. I couldn't. Honestly, great call by the haters.

They nailed it. Yeah, no, and that is true. And he was like, yeah, actually, haters, correct. I couldn't honestly. Great call by the haters. They nailed it. Yeah, no, and that is true. And he was like, yeah, actually, haters, correct. Get around them. There is such beauty and joy in being like in trying to do something. And even if you fail, you still tried. Yep. But is it a weird like what's the psychology, Tony Lodge, behind like.

As a doctor. As a doctor. Yep. Do people get more motivation from the three people that said they couldn't do it than the hundred people that said they could like what's this proven the haters wrong it's a it's an epidemic of proven haters wrong well I think everyone's different I guess the psychology for some people would be like oh I want to prove you wrong yeah but for me I'm like no I want to take the good energy from the people that said I could

do it you wouldn't give me a hundred bucks right now. Prove me wrong. I will prove you. I will give you a hundred bucks. I will. Fuck you. Take this money. You see who wins that?

Haters. Yeah. But I also just like out for 2024, the term hater. That's what I mean. I think that's what I'm getting at. But just like, I don't know. It's easier said than done. And I think not everybody is in a position where they feel like they can just ignore those shitty comments

or whatever. But, yeah, I think giving them oxygen, just like you buy it back. This is how my mum always described it to me about when my brother was bullying me. The ultimate hater, Jamie. Yeah, like your big brother, he pushes you down, he teases you, he says shit stuff, but he like loves me very much. We are very close.

But like as a kid he would just like always like, you know, wind me up or whatever. And like my mum would always be like, well, if you bite back, like you're giving him what he wants, just ignore him. And I feel like that's the mentality that I have. I'm like I'm not going to bite back. Like that's what you want to get a rise out of me and I need to just like. See, that's what you're doing is you're not hating back on the hater.

Yeah, but do we have to keep saying hater because that just feels very. The term hater is out. It feels very Jersey Shore. I've also, so Mabel like will throw some food on the ground. Yeah. And if I like pick it up, then Bridget's like, no, that's what she wants because it's like a game. So when she throws food, I just have to go.

Even though inside I'm like, do you know how fucking long mum cooked that for? Yeah. I'm going to have to pick that up. So you're not cooking it. BJ enjoys it though. BJ has never eaten better. Yeah. He ain't eaten nothing.

What is it, like pureed pumpkin and little chickpea things and stuff? A bit of meat as well. But you know what I mean? Like it's like beautifully cooked. Is mango good for dogs? I don't know. Because BJ's eaten a lot of it. I don't think so.

No, it's probably too sweet, too sugary. Anyway. Now it's poisoning dogs. Yeah, that's a good one. Doggos. Poisoning doggos. Okay. All right.

Seal the vault shut. Yeah. Which sounds like this, Tony. Thank you. I've got to love to see it. Great. Actually, I might need to send you this as well. seal the vault shut which sounds like this Tony thank you I gotta love to see it great actually I might need to send you this as well

okay because Angus I'm gonna say like most blokes actually most humans buying something for your partner's hard because

for anybody I think yeah because if they want to tell they've probably already got like I don't know there's what, yeah Because if they wanted something they probably already got Like, I don't know, there's It's hard to buy a gift at Christmas I haven't sent you yet Okay, I'm like waiting with bated breath

Angus said My fiancé asked for a Dyson air thingy Oh, like an air wrap or a hair dryer or something? All he heard was Dyson air thingy. Oh, like an air wrap or a hairdryer or something? All he heard was Dyson air thingy. Oh. So we bought her one, set it up in the bathroom, and he was like, yep, she is going to absolutely love this. Have a look at the text from the wife or the fiancé.

Okay, hang on. I haven't got it yet. Oh, well, that's obviously not what anybody would want. If someone said, get me a Dyson air thingy. So the text says, why did you get me a hand dryer? And it's a Dyson air blade, like the hand dryers I have in the airport. Yeah. Okay, so what's your argument here?

I'm not arguing shit. No, no, no. My love to see it is what a fuckhead is Angus? Oh, I thought that you were being like, oh, it's hard to buy gifts. I'm like, no. Well, it is for Angus, but you're an idiot. It's actually not that hard to listen to people when they tell you what they... The hard part about buying gifts is when people go, I don't really mind.

Not when they tell you and you don't listen. Yeah, that is fair. That is fair. Although, actually, maybe my love to see it is imagine the flex of having one of those in your bathroom at home. Can you imagine how annoying that would be? Oh, actually, yeah. Like the middle of the night?

Yeah, it's so noisy. And, like, cleaning it, I imagine, is, like, wouldn't be easy because it gets all the water in the bottle. Like, where the water, like, sucks out, it, like, has to go somewhere. Do you the water in the bottle. Like where the water like sucks out. It like has to go somewhere. Do you reckon it would be a flex like when friends came over and they. To be honest, if I came to your house and you had that, I'd be like, I don't want to come here anymore.

Okay. It feels like I'm in a public bathroom at the airport. Where are we flying today, bud? Yeah, where are we off to? What seat are you in? Okay, noted, noted. Yeah. If you were thinking about being in the market. No are you in? Okay, noted. Yeah. If you were thinking about being in the market.

No, this was just a little test. Yeah. My Love to See It is a Facebook group that I keep getting suggested to me. Coriander against Christians? No, what was that? That was Christians against seedless watermelons. Oh, my mistake. No offence, coriander.

It's called, I don't know if you've ever seen it pop up, it's called Dull Men's Club. Have you seen this? No, but I have seen single dad dinners, which feels pretty similar. So it's like, you know those Facebook groups where you, like, comment and talk in character, where it's like one of those groups where it's like we pretend we're boomers from 2005 or whatever, and it's like who's this Justin Beliber and stuff like that?

Yeah, someone, I think it was like the first 10 or 15 episodes of this pod, someone said, we all speak like it's 2012, and I joined it and I'm still in it and I still love it. Yeah, and they pop up and it's really funny. But anyway, it's this dull men's club group and it's basically just like people posting things that a dull man posts. And I saw one the other day and it was like, every day I wake up and have Vegemite on toast.

And that was the whole post. Thanks for posting that, Uncle Daryl. And it was like a picture of him. It's just really funny. With a poorly portioned out. Yeah, like there's Vegemite on this side but not on the other side and stuff. But it's just like a really, like quite a wholesome group. It's people reply and they go, what does that stand for?

Anyway, I think you should check it out because it's really funny. But are there people posting it to laugh at them or is it with them? No, it's with them. So it's everybody's like in character in the group. Oh, so they're posting the dull shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there's one here. Can we do your first post now?

Oh, I'm not posting in there because people get roasted. But there's one here and it says, my first dull post, I've noticed Ferrero Rochers have either the letters E or N in gold underneath. Anyone know what these are for? And, like, the top comment is, like, E and N commonly stands for east and north. Like, it's just so, like it's so dull.

Like it is just, and remember, Ryan, we discovered at the end of last year that dull is like the ultimate insult. Remember I called someone dull? And we were all like, oh! You did not! Like it's so much worse than like calling them the C word or something because it's like, oh, that's an attack on their character. Anyway, this group is so ridiculous and so fun.

I, this week, will be making my first post. As a dull man. Yeah. Perfect. Perfect. I will love to see that. I think it will involve a discussion about flip-flops versus slides.

Oh, yeah? Because I feel like dull men. That is dull. That's good area. Yeah. That's good area, definitely. Okay, great? Because I feel like dull men. That is dull. That's good area. Yeah. That's good area, definitely. Okay, great. Stay tuned for that.

Yeah, I'll settle in, folks. Tomorrow, Tony's nightmare has possibly come to fruition or like something that you would consider a nightmare. I did have a nightmare last night. Oh, what was it? Are you okay? Dream chat. Is that okay?

Well, that I was like on this boat. It was so random. No, say no more. That's already tomorrow. No. There was all these people here and all these people on this boat. And like I was holding Torbz's phone and he got a text and like it auto read out. And it was like a text from a girl like in his dream.

And I woke and then Torbz was already up this morning when I. Did you confront him about it? So he turned my alarm off and did the gentle wake up. You know how that's like really nice when people do that? Oh, I've never. So instead of your alarm going like. That would be nice. It's like him being like, sweetie, like time to wake up for work.

Like made you a coffee or whatever. And I was like, who the fuck is Hannah? Yeah. Who is the fuck? Who is Hannah? Yeah. She's not a real person, I don't think. Well, I mean, there is someone called Hannah in the world.

Hannah Trezawan. I know her. I actually know who's messaging. Where is she? She's in Altham, I saw her the other day. Right around the corner in the country. Anyway, more Dream Chat tomorrow. More Dream Chat tomorrow.

Also, we kind of stumbled on a phenomenon late last year about people having a full name for their pets. Tony, you're going to piss when you hear the full names of tarpa's pets. Like for when they get in trouble. Tar pets. Tar pets. Yep. So that's tomorrow on the show.

We'll chat to you then. Love you. Bye.