Toni and Ryan - Suburban Dad Explains Australia

Episode Date: September 22, 2022

Everyone's favourite Dad is back (and here to stay)! Fuckin' love ya. Toni xxx [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT]Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

For a limited time, switch to Shopify Point of Sale, and you could save up to 20% and improve your bottom line. We're so serious about savings, we've made this ad 20% shorter. That means you get 6 seconds back. Just enough time to visit shopify.com slash POS20. Now that's an efficient ad. Eligibility requirements apply. See shopify.com slash POS20 for details. Lily? Hi. It's Tony and Ryan. How are you doing? Oh, my God. Great. How are you guys? Yeah, we're so good.

Lily, can you approve this podcast for us? I'd love to. Yay! Oh, yeah. Hey, it's Lily from the Shire in Sydney, and I approve this podcast. Yeah. Thanks for joining us today on the podcast. Hi. It's been a big week for us.

A couple of loose episodes. Tony got a dog and that's all we've been talking about all week. Yeah, sorry if you're not into the dog chat. But she's so gorgeous. You've cried two episodes in a row just thinking about it. I reckon we can hit the fucking hat trick. The hat trick, yep. I'm into soccer at the moment, watching the Wrexham show.

Oh, of course. Sporty girl. Sport girl. Coming up today, speaking of you having a new dog. Yeah. There's a bit of an issue in my family about naming dogs because a lot of my cousins have got dogs and stuff. And, you know, there's only so many names

and it's hard to come up with a name. But then, and similar to with humans, you go, oh, what about this? And your partner goes, oh, but five years ago I dated a bloke and his friend's name was that. And he was a fuckhead. So we can't do that. And then like the dog name.

Oh, so-and-so's got a dog that's sort of got a name that rhymes with his name. Or that person's cousin's called that, so we don't want to call it that because it might be a bit confusing. So there's some beef happening in the world of you getting a dog, my mum's getting a dog, and a few of my cousins who are hoping to start a family have said, hey, hey, don't be stealing our names. It's political-er.

It's getting fucking wild. Yeah. It's getting wild. It's cowboy world. Some would describe it as the wild, wild west, but others would describe it as? Cowboy world. But first.

We should make merch and it's like a T-shirt for like a shop called like cowboy world. So it's like a subtle tarp reference but it's like because it kind of sounds like come on down to cowboy world don't you reckon now that you said it like that yeah come on down to cowboy world we got lasso's we got spurs for the back of your boots when your horse won't go come on down. Yeehaw. But first. Back to business. People don't know this maybe,

but no one in Australia really listens to this podcast. No. There's probably two people and one of them's both of us. According to that person that DM'd you, just your mum. Yeah, my mum loves the show. She always tunes in. So we feel it's our duty to explain how Australians speak and as a purveyor of Australian language,

what an honour to teach the rest of the world how to speak. And as we know, I love to learn. Yeah, actually, this makes no sense at all. Yeah, but I'm doing the teaching. You are. Because I already know the culture of Australia. Now, to really lean into the culture of Australia, instead of being Tony Lodge, I'll get you to perform some of these words

because you know how it just makes more sense when you're like, oh, can you say it in a sentence? Yeah, and then it's like you can see it, you know? So instead of you saying it in a sentence, we'll get suburban dad, which is imagine in Australia we see a bogan. Yeah. In the US it's like a redneck. Yeah.

What's the UK version? British. I actually don't know what the. Suburban English dad. Is that a chav? No, that's not right. No, chav. No, that's not the same thing.

They pop their collars up like this. Oh, of course. Can I just put this back down? Yeah, put that back down, mate. Might be a gang signal. Calm ourselves down. We're going to get suburban Australian dad to explain these words. First of all, actually.

Oh, hang on. Yeah. Oh, yeah. G'day, mate. Yeah, how you going, mate? Oh, good to meet you. Yeah, drove in from the fucking farm this morning, mate. Three roos on the way.

Oh. Three fucking roos. Gotta hate those roos. Didn't hit them, mate, because I got me shoe roos on the front, thank God. What's a shoe roo? What are you fucking talking about, mate? What's a shoe roo? Yeah, so I've got these little black whistles on the front of me car that when I'm driving

at high speed, they whistle through and scare the roos away, mate. Never bloody damage me bull bar. Not on me 2000 Series Land Cruiser, mate. I wouldn't bloody risk it, that's for fucking sure. Is the roos the same thing? Sorry, I just blacked out when that happened. What happened? Do you even remember, Amy?

No. You just wake up on a Saturday and go, I've been suburban, Dad. Something happened. Shoe roos, yeah, they're like, oh, shoe-roos, yeah, mate. They're bloody everywhere. If you have to ask, you don't know. Well, that's why I've asked. Don't be a dick, mate.

All right. People overseas are surprised to learn that Australians call trash cans or garbage bins. We call them wheelie bins in Australia. Yeah, where have you wheelie been? So this is how a suburban Australian dad would say that in a sentence. Oi, mate, could you put the bloody recycling in the recycling bin? We've got to put the wheelie bin out tonight because the garbo's

coming in the morning. Yep. That was really good. Thank you. Yeah, cheers, mate. Why is it called a wheelie bin? Because it's got wheels on it. We don't carry anything out here, mate.

Wheel it out the front, pop her on the curb, and Steve will come down tomorrow in the truck. Have you ever ridden a wheelie bin down a hill? No, mate. We used to do that in high school. Did you? You could really hurt yourself. Because in Altham, it's a hilly area.

Yeah. And so much. And, yeah, because you can't steer it. Ah, yeah. Once you start sort of going one way. So were you like in the bin rolling down the hill? You're on it. Oh.

So if the bin's like this, you kind of put it on its side so the wheels are on the bottom and then you sit on it like a horse. Sit on it like a horse? Well, one leg over each side. Yeah. Straddled. Straddled. Yeah.

Oh, mate, don't have to tell me about straddling. Me and the wife on the weekend, if you know what I mean. Sorry. So in a playground, there are slides. I think that's what it's called in the UK and the US. But in Australia, slippery dip. Yeah. So when you say slippery dip, the rest of the world doesn't know what we're talking about.

No, mate. And so here's how a suburban Aussie dad would explain or use slippery dip in a sentence. Mate, while you're waiting for a turn on the slippery dip, why don't you go on the swings? Yeah. Yeah. And if you go down the slippery dip, make sure, mate, that you bloody put your fucking feet first, not your face first, because you'll plow into the ground and hurt yourself. I'm not going back to the fucking ER, mate.

I won't do it. Do you go to the doctor often, Suburban Dad, or you just... Mate, rub some derb in it. WD-40. WD-40, mate. A bit of silicon, chuck that right up, mate. It should be fine. Australians don't say melted cheese.

We call them toasties. So this is how Suburban Dad would use that in a sentence. Oh, mate, I'm not doing dinner tonight. The bloody barbecue's on the blink. Mate, just do a couple of toasties. What do you want in yours? Ham and cheese? Oh, add a bit of tomato, mate.

Haven't burnt me lip in a while. A tomato and a toasty. Molten lava. Molten lava. Can I also add that baked beans in a toasty is fucking elite, but if you want to burn your face off. Yeah. A Jaffel, mate, is what you're talking about there.

I am talking about Jaffel because we'll hold it all together. Yeah. I do like a Jaffel, but with spaghetti, mate. You know the spaghetti Jaffel? Yeah. Yeah, that's a bit of me. And the miso, yeah, she puts a bit of cheese in there because the old ticker won't last forever, but it tastes bloody good.

I'm here for a good time, not a long time, mate. Australians call McDonald's Maccas, and here's how our suburban dad would use that in a sentence. Kids, if you get out of the pool now after this barbecue, we'll go and get a softie from Maccas. And how much is a 30-cent cone from Maccas, suburban dad? It's 50 cents now, mate. Back in my day, it used to be 30 cents.

Which is why we called it a 30-cent cone. Yeah, but now it's a 50 cents, and, you know, 50 cents for a flake now, mate. Back in my day, it used to be 30 cents. Which is why we called it a 30 cent cone. Yeah, but now it's a 50 cents and, you know, 50 cents for a flake now as well. I don't even think they do flakes anymore. It's fucking abysmal what they're doing down there. You know these bloody big wigs with their fucking mackers in their KFC.

You know what? Nah, we got a tub of Neapolitan in the freezer. Mum's gonna do up a couple of cones, mate. We're having that. And while mum's having cones, how are you going to serve the ice cream? Get the scooper and put it in a tub of hot water. Did you ever do that as a kid? Yeah. To put the ice cream scoop in a tub of water so that you could, like,

cut through it better? Yeah. Or do you, like, put it in the microwave for, like, eight seconds? Oh, the ice cream tub. Just take the, don't go too long. You can't go too long, that'll fuck it right up. It'll fuck it right up. Finally.

Yeah. In the US, they have things called freezies. Do you know what that is? No, mate. Well, when I tell you what it's called in Australia, you know exactly what it is. Here in Australia, we call them zooper doopers. Oh, made a bloody zooper dooper.

Nothing better on bloody Christmas Day. Cool it down in the pool. Yeah, big bloody tube of plastic. Yeah. You cut the lid off. And if you fucking cut the top off that and leave that on the bench and it bloody stains me bench, I'll fucking have a word with you, mate. Put it in the fucking wheelie bin.

Put it in the wheelie bin and send you on your way. Do you need a glass of water? No, I need a VB, mate. Sorry, my mistake. My mistake. Hi, it's Tilly from the Sire in Sydney, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. For a limited time, switch to Shopify point of sale,

and you could save up to 20% and improve your bottom line. We're so serious about savings, we've made this ad 20% shorter. That means you get 6 seconds back. Just enough time to visit Shopify.com slash POS20. Now that's an efficient ad. Eligibility requirements apply. See Shopify.com slash POS20 for details. Just a reminder, you can also watch this episode of the podcast as well as listen to it.

So if you're in Spotify, you can click the app and you can also put on your smart TV as well. We're going to do a little demonstration for people like me who aren't maybe the most technologically minded. So there's a little fun one. And coming up on Monday, we are going to be watching the movie Shrek because we wanted to do movies about kings and queens, obviously changing of the guard this week.

And as soon as I said that, Tony, you go, oh, Shrek needs to be an option. Yeah, 100%. So people voted. Bohemian Rhapsody didn't make it. The Man in the Iron Mask is a fucking great movie that didn't make it. I haven't seen that. Leonardo DiCaprio. It's really good.

Is it about kings and queens? Or it's about king something of France back in the day. Sure, okay. I was about to say, it's about the, and then I was like, oh, no, that's the. Oh, okay. Sorry. Spoilers.

It's a great movie. And Leonardo DiCaprio, I mean. I mean, can't go wrong. But having said that, we are watching Shrek, and you'll hear Tony rap about that on Monday's show. Woo. And Leonardo DiCaprio, I mean. I mean, can't go wrong. But having said that, we are watching Shrek, and you'll hear Tony rap about that on Monday's show. Woo! A big thank you to a few of our champion tappers.

They're the ones voting on the movies that we watch. And they got a bit up in arms that Princess Diaries wasn't on the list. We've watched it before for the podge. I also, in hindsight, all the movies we put down were about kings and queens, and the topic was kings, queens, princes and princesses. So maybe we'll just do a princess category next week. Oh. So we can mop up all the ones we missed from the list because there's a lot of angry Patreons.

People weren't happy. But I think it might have been pre-wrap is maybe why people don't remember. Oh, it's pre-wrap era. Because we used to not rap about the movies, and then we can't just talk about a movie for 10 minutes. Yeah. So then we added the rap for a bit of spice. Yeah.

But a big thank you to a few of our champion tappers. Tom Grimes, thank you. Grimesy. Tyler, Wendy H., Lana Arseman. Arseman? You a boob man? Arseman. No, I'm an arseman.

No, Lana's an arseman. Talia Benasse, Emily Laus. Thank you so much. Tammy Mayen. Gemma Alsop. Georgia Colbrand. Linda Vanderhoek. Pronunciation hook. I've put next to that and I didn't even read it.

Linda Vanderhoek. Thanks, Linda. Good on you, doll. It's pronounced a hook. And Kasia Zaleska. What a great fucking name, Kasia Zaleska. Here we go. Thank you so much to everybody.

If you're interested in checking out our Patreon ever, all the links are in our show notes, in our bios. You basically can't turn left without it smacking you in the face. Sorry. Suburban dad. Come back. Wow. What do we think of cats and dogs with human names?

I love it. Really? I think there's nothing funnier than meeting like a real goofy dog that's like called Gary or something. I think it's so funny. So you've just got a dog. My mum is picking up a dog. Oh, don't cry.

She's adorable. My mum is about to pick up a dog. I'm so excited because your mum's gone with a little pup. Yeah. And she's fucking good. Oh, sorry, it's a he. It's a he. I'm so excited because your mum's gone with a little pup. Yeah. And she's fucking gorgeous. Oh, sorry, it's a he. It's a he. Yes.

He's fucking cute. So gorgeous. But my issue, Bridget and I are hoping to start a family. My cousin, they've just recently become engaged. Congratulations, Rach and Dars. Oh, congratulations. In the next few years, they'll hope to start a family as well. And we're talking about names in the family group chat for mum's

dog and something comes up and rach goes sorry that's on my list of potential baby names i don't want you to waste it on your dog oh wow right fucking kudos for saying something because if you know you what you, then, you know. And this is where I used to be a person who was like, how funny is a human name for a dog? But now I'm like, nah, stop taking the good names. Because if mum gets that as the dog name, we can't have that as our child. Obviously not.

Rach can't have that as her child. And so stop you. And there's only so many names. Yeah. And it's bloody hard because every, because of social media, instead of having like eight mates, you actually know,

even if they're not like close friends, you probably know a couple of hundred people, right? Yep. So you know what their kids' names are called and they go, well, did they copy that name because they had it or. But even like we couldn't call our kid Darcy because there's a Darcy

that works here and we know Jane and Darcy. And then Rach is dating. It was like, well, there's too many Darcy's in Mark. We can't have another one. We can't add another Darcy to the. And then suddenly there's 500 names that are just, oh, no, there was a guy in high school with that name and it was a bit of a cockhead so I could never.

Oh, and that's the worst. You go, oh, I went to school in year three with a Renee, so that's off the list. Yeah. And, you know, Bridget and I are hoping to start a family and suddenly we've gone, oh, yeah, there's so many names we can't use. Yeah. And then people are suggesting, and I think you were a part of it

because I said mum's getting this dog. Yeah. And then you were even, and I think you were a part of it because I said mum's getting this dog. Yeah. And then you were even like, I don't want to tell your mum the good names in case I get that for my dog. Yeah. And so you're sort of being a bit like, here's some okay ones. Yeah, because you don't want to give them the gold. Give them the gold.

But also when somebody says, oh, you know, I'm trying to come up with a name for my dog. What about this? You kind of don't want to go, we might use that, because you still want it to be a surprise. Like most people keep their baby name as a surprise so that like the announcement is like, here's the moment we've all been waiting for.

This is the name we've chosen. But you also want to put up the big don't argue and be like, don't use that fucking name because we want to use that. So what do you think of Rach being like, no, you can't use that name. It's on my, and not saying, I want to call my child this. She just said, it's on my list. Because I feel like you'd have

three or four boys' names, three or four girls' names. So you'd have a list. Well, when we got our dog, I had probably about 40 names of each picked out because I was like, oh, trying to brainstorm lots of things. But then as soon as we got the dog, I was like, you're a pipper. Like we tried about six names with her and we're talking to her with the names that just

didn't suit her. Like we did Zoe. We did Cece. We tried Polenta. You did like Polenta. I really liked Polenta and Polly for sure. But I've got a Polly in my life because I used to work with a girl called Polly.

She goes by PJ but her name is Polly. So it's a tough one. But, yeah, and then I said Pippa all of a sudden and Torbs was like, she's a Pippa. She's a Pippa. Now that I've seen her, she's a Pippa. Were you thinking of using Pippa for a girl? That wasn't on your list, was it?

Thanks for checking. No. Imagine if it was. Imagine if you're like we have our hearts set on Pippa and I'm like, look at it? Well, thanks for checking. No. Imagine if it was. Imagine if you're like, we have our hearts set on Pippa and I'm like, look at my gorgeous dog, it hates Pippa. Is there anyone watching or listening, have they had like their baby name, I don't want to say stolen. Stolen.

No, please say stolen. Have you had your baby name stolen? Ripped from beneath you. By a friend or a family member having a baby a few weeks before you or naming their dog that name that you'd loved that name for ages and they go, oh, meet the new baby.

It's Zoe. And you go, are you fucking kidding me? That's the only name we had on our list. Do you know what would be really difficult as well? If you knew someone with the same name but you were naming the baby like after someone. Yeah.

So if you go, oh, my granddad Gordon, he's a huge part of my life or whatever, and then you meet someone and they go, oh, we've called our dog Gordon, and you're like, well, I still want to call my baby Gordon because it's from my granddad, but that feels fucking weird because now your dog's called Gordon. Yeah. Yep. It's weird.

That's a tough one. You know how there's like a lot of people that we find out 10 years later used to be a piece of shit? Oh, yeah. And there's like he was a blackface guy. Oh, it turns out he treated his staff like shit back in the day. Oh, like they get cancelled or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What do you think of people that like, I've named my dog after this person or my baby after this person and then the kid's six years old and then the allegations come out and then it's like. Do you backtrack? You go, oh, it wasn't after them. No, it's just coincidence. Yeah, yeah.

We loved the name Louis CK for a girl so we just had to use it. Harvey Weinstein. Yeah, yeah, you know, like that's fucking tough. But there would be a bit of that, I think. Yeah, there would be. And you can't escape because if it's on the grid, you've already posted on Insta, you're locked in. It's over.

Yeah. So when I was working in radio in Canberra, we were sort of talking about this and this lady called in and her daughter's name was Isis, I-S-I-S, which is now kind of associated with the terrorist group. Of course, yeah. But I can't remember the meaning of Isis, but it's actually a beautiful name with a beautiful meaning.

And this was pre, you know, the terrorist organisation. Of course, yeah. And the kid was like seven? That's so tough. And, like, the family knows there is Isis. And it is when you don't know about the terrorist. It's? That's so tough. And the family knows her as Isis. And it is when you don't know about the terrorist. It's like it's a beautiful name. I can't remember the meaning, but she explained it to us on the show

and we went, oh, that's beautiful. Yeah. And so at age – But then it gets marred with this other thing that's going on. Oh, and she's like, you're in the playground. And you're like, Isis. And everyone's like, what the fuck? Yeah.

And so at seven years old – and seven years old isn't two months. It's post-Gram. That's your life. Your friends know you as that. That's your name at school. And they changed their name. Oh, I think that that's probably the right way to go. It is.

It's sort of the only way to go, really. But just like, what a pain in the ass. And just awful for the child as well. You're just like, oh, we want to do the right thing by you, but we don't want to, you know. as well. You're just like, oh, we want to do the right thing by you, but we don't want to, you know. So with this concept in mind,

mum is picking up the dog next week. How exciting. My life, there's so many dogs now. This is great. Dog town. Can I say something that's just like What? I've never been happier. Mate.

Well, you'll be happier this afternoon when you go and give Pippa a little snuggle. I've got a dog at your place to cuddle. Yeah. Mum's getting a dog to cuddle. Yeah. That'll be my brother. Oh, by the way, when Mum went to pick up the...

God, she loves saving bloody strays, eh? So she had to fill out this form and it goes, do you have any experience with adoption? And she writes down my Instagram. At ryan.john. She sent them the link of you, the adoption video. She goes, yeah, took care of this fucking straight for 35 years already. I reckon I'll be all right with this bloke.

He needs a bit of a groom, but apart from that, I've looked after him well. There's a dog at mum's, there's a dog at your place, there's a dog at my house. Dog town. It's dog town, baby. I'm so happy. So mum, and is aware that Bridget and I are wanting to start a family as well.

Of course. And Rach goes, can you not put that on my list? And mum's like, oh, I didn't even think. Ryan, I'll just get you to like sign off on this name. That's nice from Mandy. I appreciate that. Just in case it might be on the list because, you know, heaven forbid the dog gets in the way of Ewan Bridget's baby name.

And I was like, that's a beautiful thing. And then I'm like, well, and I think she's gone the human name route. Hence, you wouldn't need a check for Rover or Polenta. Or Spot. Yeah, exactly. So, and mum, she's not a, she's loud and fun and outgoing. It's very rare that you get like a, like a subtle sort of. Oh, could I just double check with you?

Yeah. Because I think. She's really read the room there. She has read the room there. I appreciate that from Mandy. Yep. And I think that she is thinking maybe this is what Ryan and Bridget might like to call a child, so I better check because.

Yeah. And so she thinks that this was an option. And I just want you to. Oh, my God. Oh, I didn't even think about this. She goes, do you mind, were you thinking of calling your child Spaghetti Bolognese? Because I've got my heart set on it for the dog.

Yeah, and you're like, oh, I reckon that might be fine. So I want you to, and again, I don't want to laugh because I don't want to take the piss out of the name she's chosen for this beautiful dog that's going to live with her, who's going to be the new love of her life. And that you're going to have to dog sit when your mum wants to go away. But mum, like, because she's been dog sitting BJ, the gateway dog, now she's like maybe a dog in the house is nice, mum's getting older,

a bit of company, beautiful. Totally. So keep in mind, I can't laugh in her face. But also if it is a name that Bridget and I are considering for a child that we have to, like, politely say maybe not. Sorry, I'm just trying to. Yep. Yep.

Hey, Ryan. Hey, Mum. Oh, I haven't said that in so long. Oh, sorry. That was really sad. Yeah, keep going. Is that why when you met my mum and parked in the driveway, you backed into a tree?

Probably, yeah. Because you were just rattled by mother figures. My mum being around, yeah. Sorry, I'm ready now. Action. She said, I'm going to call the dog Ken, Kenneth, or Kenny. Is that okay? Or is that a name that you would like to name your child?

Hi, Mum. You can have that one for free. I said I reckon that should be fine. You go, oh, Mum, you know what? You have that one. It's beautiful. It was top three. I'll do you a favour.

What did she think? You were going to have another baby called Barbie? Like what the fuck was she thinking? Love that for little Kenny. So little Kenny is joining the family next week. She settled on Kenny, has she? Love that name. Love that name.

That's gorgeous. I can't wait to see Mandy and Ken together. She hasn't thought this through. For those who aren't watching the vodcast and just listen to the podcast, the face that Tony just pulled when he said Mandy and Ken. Oh, we're just going out for dinner at Mum and Ken's. Hang on, we've got an Uncle Ken. Oh, Mandy.

She hasn't thought this through. That's Grandpa's brother. It's her dad's brother. Has she thought this through? She hasn't thought this through. We'll get her brother. It's her dad's brother. Has she thought this through? She hasn't thought this through. We'll get her on the phone later because we need to talk her through this. She's rattled. If anyone's got a dog suggestion name that Ryan could approve

and then pass on because you've got then the authority. Because if someone says, why don't you suggest Sebastian to your mum, you go, we're going to use Sebastian. Not going to pass that one along. The one I thought you were going to choose for your dog. Yep. Polenta. No, I loved Pepperoni.

Yeah, we were close on Pepperoni. Yeah. Well, Pippa, I guess, is close. But if mum calls her dog Pepperoni, it could be Pepper and Pippa. Oh, Pippa and Pippa. Little bros. And don't you reckon that Pippa sounds a bit like if Bridget was ordering the salt and pepper calamari, yeah, can we get the salt and Pippa?

Because she's a Kiwi. Don't talk to her about seafood. Because everything's better in New Zealand. You can't have seafood or fish and chips in Australia. It's better in New Zealand. Yeah, everything's fucking better in New Zealand. To be fair, everything is better in New Zealand. She's not wrong.

It's just. We FaceTimed our best friends in New Zealand when we picked up Pippa and they were like, oh, Pippa. And I was like... You should have heard there was a bit of controversy. Australia played New Zealand in the rugby last week and I went and there was a controversial decision. Would have been a tough house for you.

Yeah. Just Bridge watched it later. And it was pretty controversial, but not to a key way. It's fucking rules, mate. Fucking deal with it. Serves them right. She just gets like, she snaps into this really patriotic place sometimes. Oh, I love it too

because I love New Zealand. New Zealand is my motherland. New Zealand is like my heart home, I feel. How many days have you spent there in your life? About three. Yep. Two of them were in the airport. That day in between.

Oh, beautiful scenery, isn't it? Great people. But yeah, I love that when she snaps into that patriotic place. Yeah. And she just gets like real butt up about it. I fucking love it. Yeah, I love that. What else do you love to see, Tony Lodge?

I love to see this news story from the US. And you tell me if you think that this is, this innuendo in the headline is on purpose. A truck carrying an interesting load has flipped.

Blocking a motorway with awkward contents. A truck carrying dildos and lube and a bunch of other sex toys flipped and the headline they decided to go with was flipped and slowed. I'm sorry. But give fucking news.com.au, give that fucking rider a fucking raise. Fucking. I'm sorry but give fucking news.com.au give that fucking writer a fucking raise

fucking because an interesting load can you imagine saying that to someone oh that's an interesting load that's an interesting load oh that's an interesting load that's an interesting load

actually I am going to change my love to sex, being inspired by your fucking shit headlines. Yeah. Over the last few weeks. Yeah. We could only imagine the newsrooms of the Daily Mail. Oh, my goodness. With the Queen passing away.

The Queen passing away. And it's just like, how many different stories of the same thing can we write? What's an angle? Oh, this bloke walked past the Queen in 1963. Here's his recollection. Yeah. Or when there's a story that's not about the Queen, it's sort of like, but how do we make it about the Queen? And it's also like, I think people are forgetting that there's a family grieving the loss of their mum and grandma and stuff.

Like, I understand it's news and, you know, she lived a public life. that there's a family grieving the loss of their mum and grandma and stuff. Like, I understand it's news and, you know, she lived a public life. An incredible life. But, like, I just feel so... As someone who has, like, mourned my mother... What? Yeah, I know. But, like... She all right?

If you mourn her, mate, she's passed, all right. But, like, you know, I can only imagine going through that publicly. Yeah, it's fine. And I just feel so bad that, yeah, the guy from 1997 that saw her at a Starbucks across the road. He's got his hot take. Like, that's his story for life now. But, you know, someone has passed away.

So, fuck, keeping that in mind. Yeah. Someone's got a story about a reality star from Married at First Sight or one of those shit shows and just gone, how do we tie the Queen into this? Because every story has to mention the Queen. I can't believe I'm reading. This is a real story on news.com.au.

Oh, my God. From News Corporation. While the Queen's death has left a massive hole in the world. Fair, yep. Former Married at First Sight star Jessica Power has more important holes to worry about. You can still see the holes in my butt from my butt filler, said the bikini-clad reality star.

I... While the Queen's death has left a massive hole in her heart In our heart Jessica has other holes to worry about filling I don't care about Jessica Power and her butt Who does? No, but good for her She's getting filler, she's not getting filler

I don't care, that's fine It's your body, your choice You're living your life People are following you That's fucking awesome You've got a platform your choice. You're living your life. People are following you. That's fucking awesome. You've got a platform. Make that cash. I actually don't.

Live your fucking best life. The fucking journalist that has written that, that's on the nose. Nothing really offends me, but that is fucking a bridge too far, surely. I hate, and I 100% agree, but I feel like every day on Twitter there's a lot of like, well, I'm not normally the one to complain. Sorry. However, but I was like, oh, I'm not the guy that's like. Inappropriate.

But. But. Literally. But. The hole's in her butt. Yeah. I've got a hole in my butt. I think it's the... But, literally. But... The holes in her butt. Yeah. I've got a hole in my butt. I think it's the right one, though.

I hope so. Yeah. That is fucked. Anyway, so... Did you have any holes that you'd be filling in your life? I've got three. Sorry. That was far too much from Tony and Louise Lodge.

It's a vodcast. People can see that. Sorry. I'm Tony and Louise Lodge. It's a podcast. People can see that. Sorry. I'm apologising for that publicly. Okay. We need to go. We need to go. It's been a big week.

Thank you so much for being part of our podcast this week, for listening, watching. It's been a chaotic week. It has been a big week. In our lives and on the show, and I'm all about it. I love it too. I think I love the energy that this week has brought. Yeah.

Thank you so much for watching, and we'll chat to you on Monday where Tony will be rapping about Shrek. Woo! Love you. Bye. Bye. Oh. Do we need to do that, do you think?

No. I don't know if people think it's funny. They certainly don't, but I do. Oh. Sorry, we're still rolling. So usually at the end of the news, there's like the news anchor guy and there's like the weather girl and the sports guy and then like it goes dark and they're like, and they chat to each other. So the other day at the end of the news,

the sports guy was like at the ground for the football final. Yep. And the weather girl was like out on location for the funeral or something. Yep. So like he's used to talking to these people and then it does that wide shot and there's no one else there. And he just kind of, and as it goes dark, he just went. That's sad.

See you on Monday. Love you, bye. that's sad see you on Monday love you bye for a limited time switch to Shopify point of sale and you could save up to 20% and improve your bottom line. We're so serious about savings, we've made this ad 20% shorter. That means you get six seconds back. Just enough time to visit Shopify.com slash POS20. Now that's an efficient ad.

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