Toni and Ryan - Taking A Bag To School

Episode Date: October 17, 2023

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Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge and we are calling Mandy who's in Dallas, Texas as we prepare to fly direct from Melbourne to Dallas. Hello? Mandy! Hi! Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Please, how is it in Dallas today? Tell us all about it. Yes. To the Tony and Ryan podcast. Please, how is it in Dallas today?

Tell us all about it. Yes. Oh, it's nice and dreary outside, but it's under 100 degrees, so we're doing great. So we're there like in a week. Is it a hot place? Do we need, like, is it going to be hot and sweaty and gross? No, you're coming at the best time.

It's finally fall-ish. It'll be a reasonable temperature. That's good to know. You can bring maybe like a little sweater and call it a day. Great. Two of my favorite things to do. Sweater weather. And Mandy, will you approve today's episode? Absolutely. Legend. I approve. This is Mandy from Dallas, Texas, and I approve this podcast. All right, coming up today, I don't know if people not in Australia know about the concept of muck up day. But let us introduce you to an Australian phenomenon

that's going to be happening this week. Have you seen it already? Yeah. Yeah. What a time to be alive. There was a very interesting Facebook post in, like, the Richmond group about, like, some kids that were dressed up for muck up day and they were like, what's going on?

And there's 20 comments within 30 seconds being like, it's muck up day, muck up day, muck up day. Yeah, great. Great. And a great Australian pastime. Yeah, I agree. But first, I'm watching Beckham on Netflix.

Is anyone else watching it? You've seen the clips and stuff. I've seen the clip that went viral about her being, like, Victoria being like, yeah, we both grew up in working class families or whatever. And he, like, pokes his head through the door and he's like- What car? Try that one again, sweetheart. Like, very funny.

In his- Daddy in his Rolls Royce. Yeah, I love that. When he says, what car? And she goes, well, it depends because we had more than one. I'm like, yeah, well- Even that comment. Yeah, that comment a lot. I assumed it was a story about, like, them as a couple,

but it's more of, like, a soccer. Oh, it's still, like, a lot about her, but, like, it's more about him. It's not, like, their story. It's his story. Well, because I've only seen that clip and all the, like, stills in the articles I haven't read were, like, a screenshot of the two of them in the show. But, yeah, I haven't watched it yet.

But I really, I like a soccer documentary because remember- Oh, Welcome to Wrexham. Welcome to Wrexham. Yeah. I think you'll appreciate it. I think I would really like it. I like a doco though. So, his mum was a hairdresser.

David Beckham's mum. Yeah. And so, and she had like a little setup in the back room. Wow. And so, when he was little, he would like, it was like his job to like get the cups of tea and bring a slice of cake and do this stuff. And he never went to nightclubs or drank or had girlfriends. He was just like love football.

And that was it. But like you can tell that that's paid off. Yeah. It's not as if you go, oh, like he's the best for a reason. Yeah. And I don't know if- I don't think like Victoria Beckham was his like first and only, but I don't think it'd be far off it. They've been together for a very long time.

Well, he was real young when they met and it was like a big thing. Are they the same age? Oh, similar. They were both pretty young. Like he started playing for Manchester United when he was 17. That's- How old was she when she became a Spice- Like, was she already famous?

Like, how did they- No, the Spice Girls were, like, put together by a record company or whatever. Dead. No, no, no, but how old- Like- They must have been young, early 20s, late teens. Like, I think they were young, young. Because was she already famous when they met?

Yeah, yeah. So, they were, like, two celebs dating. Yeah. And it was a secret for a while. That's hard I reckon. She was about 20. She was 20. So, apparently the Spice Girls like came on the scene and he was like that one in the black dress. I love her. Because you know everyone had their favourite. The little Gucci dress. Who was your favourite? I loved Baby. Same. Yeah. I just loved Emma so much. Yeah.

But I also really liked Posh because I thought she's so fancy. Yeah. And, like, when I watch the Spice Girls movie when they're all like, should I wear the little Gucci dress or the little Gucci dress? I know. What about you wear the little Gucci dress? And I just, like, she loves Posh. So, Beckham was terrible with money, right?

So, there's a thing about this because he was into fashion. So, like he'd get paid on a- and his teammates were like, yep, he'd get paid on a Friday and be like, how much did I get paid? 10 grand. Cool. Go to the Gucci store and buy a $10,000 jacket. And he goes, oh, I'll get the pants next week when I get paid next Friday. Like it was just money in, money out.

Fuck. But when you're a kid as well, like 17, you're a kid. Yeah. I'm still a kid now. I'm 29. You're getting paid crazy amounts of money. So, he got paid 50 grand by Adidas and then like took the 50 grand check and went straight to a car thing and was like, here's 50 grand, that car, please.

Like just, they're like, he would never, and he'd be broke all week. Wow. Because he was just like, paid on Friday, money gone. Wow. By Friday afternoon. And it's so good watching this show because of, like, the 90s. Like, the four sizes too big Gucci leather jacket. Yeah.

That he spent his life savings on. Yeah. Yeah. And do you want to know something crazy that I didn't realise? He did, like, a brand endorsement, like, for Adidas and stuff. That, like, didn't happen back then. Like, you know how now it's so normal for an- oh, they've signed with Nike and they've got a deal with American Express or whatever.

Like, athletes, like, did not do that. Have you ever seen those really old photos of, like, when celebs would go to, like, an awards night or whatever? And they get given the bag? No, and they would walk through like a condition of them going with that. That would be that they would walk through this like roadshow. And it's like Rihanna holding an iPhone. Yeah.

No, a Motorola. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like Paris Hilton like holding up a troll doll. And like really random. Have you seen those? I know the concept of it. Because that was like the goodie bags, right?

And the idea is like, you can keep that. And they're like, no, it's fine. No, no, no, no. This isn't even the goodie. This is literally like the condition of them going was that they would walk through like the brand tunnel. Yeah. And then they would take a photo with every single thing and they would be able to like

use that in advertising or in a magazine or whatever. And it would be like Paris Hilton with the brand new Motorola Razr Flip 3 phone, whatever. Fuck. And that was like a thing. What a moment in time, and it would be like, Paris Hilton with the brand new Motorola Razr Flip 3 phone, whatever. Fuck. And that was like a thing. What a moment in time. And they're just hideous shit. There's just all these hilarious photos of, yeah, Paris Hilton holding a troll doll.

There's nothing Paris Hilton won't hold for cash. But I mean, same. If I've won anything. Yeah, same. Put it in my hand, sweetheart. Now, one of the cutest things, and I think it's pretty endearing, is that Posh Spice is living in London being a Spice girl. And he's playing for Manchester United in Manchester.

And it's a four-hour driveway. Right. So, he would go to training, like, during the day, then jump in the car, drive to London to, like, hang out with her for a little bit, then drive back at night for training the next morning. And he's like, yeah, like, even if it was- And this is where, like, you know, they're 21. I don't know how many people they'd been with previously, but when he goes, yeah, I just loved her so much. Even if I could just hang out with her for 10 minutes,

I'd do the drive and I'm like- Hang out deep. Yeah. And it's sort of like this like- And apparently- And then, you know, he's full of cash. They were playing in France or something. So, we like rented a little four-seater plane, like flew over just to like hang out for an hour and then like fly back again.

Or fly her over and stuff probably. Oh, no, she's too busy for that stuff. Well, she actually probably would have been, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But he was like the one that was like, I just love her so much. Like, I'd travel any time and distance and whatever. And it'd be like driving through the night and have a big, you know, be playing in front of 60,000 people tomorrow.

What are you doing tonight? I'm going to drive down to London just to see her for a bit and I'll drive back. That's very sweet, especially for a young boy, a young man, who was that famous that had that much money. He could have gone like, that's actually too hard basket. Like, I'll just not do that. It's not as if he would have struggled to find a new girlfriend.

No, he'd sort of walk down the street and be like, who, anyone? Yep. Anyone keen? I've got this $10,000 Gucci jacket. So, I asked Tarpers how far they've travelled to do the hippity-dippity because I thought it was cute that he would like, you know, you travel all that way. But hang on, are we talking just like boning or are we talking like how far have you travelled for love? Well, I think love i think they're different aren't they yeah and i feel like this isn't hookups this is some of these stories are like for love because i would drive torbs before we were actually together yeah i'd be like oh i'll

drive you home it's on my way fuck no it was not on my way how far out are you way um it would add like 20 minutes 25 minutes to my trip. Yeah. So, I- So, it'd add like an hour and a half. Yeah. Oh, nice. Is that what you're saying? It would add a whole night, you know.

No, well, because I could go like on the highway, right? And it would take 30 minutes to get home. But instead, I went like through the city and down this extra way. And then if there was traffic, so it would end up instead of taking me 30 minutes, take me an hour you know but it was worth it so he could touch you up in the car when he dropped when you dropped him off right yeah yeah yeah yeah um and then when i was living in bunbury i drove from perth to bunbury every single weekend so he wasn't down there with you at the start or no so he was still at uni and like working in the city to drive up every weekend yeah so i drove from bunbury to perth which is about hour and a half, hour 40.

Did he ever like catch the bus down on the train down or anything? He did, but normally he was working. So, he was working like just a retail job. Yeah. On like, and that would be on a Saturday morning. Of course, yeah. So, he would be like, well, I can't come, you know. Yeah.

So, he would, so I would drive up the Friday night, we'd have dinner and like hang out. And then like the Saturday he'd work all day, so I'd, like, go and see my sister or friends or whatever, and then, like, Saturday night we'd be able to hang out again. And then, like, on Sunday afternoon I would have to drive all the way home. Yeah. It was so sad. It is sad.

Yeah, it was really hard. I loved him. Still do. Chloe. Hi, Chloe. Me and my now husband used to be separated by the border. I lived in the US and he lived in Canada. So, he used to travel to Seattle. I was four hours on the shuttle and then pay a $70 taxi cab just to hang out at the cafe that I worked in. So, she's like, oh, I have to work on Sunday.

He's like, oh, good. I'll just come in the morning and, like, get a coffee and I'll just, you know, I'll just be there. That's very sweet. Yeah. Then we used to do the hippity-dippity in a tiny room out the back and then he would do it all reverse in the morning. I think when she says do it reverse in the morning. Yeah, she doesn't mean reverse cowgirl.

I think she means he'll travel home. Yeah. Yeah. Both, maybe. I don't know. Yeah, who's to say? I think she means he'll travel home. Yeah. Yeah. Both, maybe. I don't know. Yeah, who's to say? Do you think there's something exciting about, like, the build-up and the tension and the,

like, looking forward to it? Or does that, like, add pressure? Oh, I think maybe- Especially if you knew in the- Like, you want to travel eight hours and then, like, not put in a great performance. You know what I mean? I think early on there would probably be a bit more pressure, but also, like, you'd both just be so excited that the performance probably doesn't really, like, matter.

You know, you probably get to a point where you go, it doesn't matter, like, I just miss you so much. Like, that's how I felt with Torbs. And even if, like, it wasn't even just about having sex, it was, like, I actually just miss hanging out with you. Yeah. And because every night you would kind of go, oh, you're working late so we can't even just about having sex. It was like, I actually just miss hanging out with you. Yeah. And because every night you would kind of go, oh, you're working late, so we can't even chat tonight or whatever.

Or, you know, if you were that far away that there was a time difference. Yeah. Like, we're about to head to the US and Torbs and I have been sitting down being like, fuck, when are we actually going to be able to, because if I'm waking up but you're going to bed and, you know, we'll be all topsy-turvy. When we go away, how much daily chat, and I'm already, like, predicting this is going to, like, annoy me, but how much-

You don't even give me a chance. No, I give you lots of- Man, I'll give you chances. Don't worry about that. How much time are we going to spend, A, converting money and converting time? Like, every single day, oh, but if it's 9 o'clock here, then I'll call Bridget at this time o'clock. And I, how much is that sandwich?

Like, are we just going to spend the month converting time and converting money? That's a really good question. And I agree. It is frustrating. Yeah. Even when I was in fucking Perth last week. Yeah. And the three-hour time difference did me in.

Like, because it's just enough time to really fuck you. And so I spent all this time being like, God, it's 7 o'clock, here's his 8, 9, 10 o'clock, 11 o'clock. Like, you just, and you can't think that way. You have to be like, it says 7 o'clock on the clock. It's 7 o'clock. But when you're thinking, oh, yeah, when can I call Bridget? Is Mabel going to be asleep?

Is Torbs at work? And how much is this sandwich yeah um Mina that's her name not reputation um what was that laugh like you like a ghoul what the fuck my god I I was in Greece traveling says Mina and the second last day I was there, I, like, met a boy. And we, like, hooked up. But it wasn't like a- It didn't feel like a holiday random fuck. It was like, no, no, like, it just, like- There was something there.

Yeah, there was something there. Yeah. And she was like, oh, yeah, I wish I had met you at the start of the trip. But, you know, here's my number. Give me a call. And flies from Greece all the way back to Wales. Whoa. Yeah.

Then she gets there. That's probably not that far, actually. Oh, no, that's a fair hike. I mean, everything's far from Australia. But over there, I mean, that's one side of Europe to the other side of the UK, right? No, maybe it's not too far. Like a six-hour flight or something like that?

Wales to Greece. Perth to Sydney. Sorry. Like a six-hour flight or something like that? Wales to Greece. Perth to Sydney. Considering when you live in Europe, you can fly to 15 countries within half an hour. The flight from the UK to Greece is three hours. Three and a half hours, yeah. Oh, I guess I've got to fuck myself. No, no, no.

It's still a big effort. But when you were like, oh, from Greece all the way, I thought you were going to say Perth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah to say Perth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You don't know which way she went. Flew to the right.

Yeah. So, she gets back to Wales. Hang on. Yeah. Flew to the right. Looking at the map, flew to the right. But technically, if you're on the ground, it would be to the left because it would go. Well, which way are you facing?

When you say to the right, which way are you facing? Well, so if I plant me in the map- Yep. Then the UK is over here. But which way are you facing in the map? So, if I'm facing- The map? The moon.

If I'm laying on my back in Greece- Oh, that'd be a stretch. Like Mina was. On my back, in Greece, like Mina was. Then if we flew to the left, we'd end up all the way back around to Wales on the other side. Yeah. Yeah. Long way around.

So when you look at the map, what's on the back? The water. Yeah. No, it's flat. No, no. The water Yeah No it's flat No no No no no Oh no Oh

Whoa Oh shit You've just witnessed me in real time become a flat earther No No no no So the map Then Shaq was the flat earther He's like

Look I've driven across the US And it looks pretty flat to me. Oh. I mean, that's what you just said. Not no. I said the map is flat. White girl on internet says world is flat. So, then if the map was like a globe, which like lol it is.

Yeah. Then that's what's on the back. What? The rest of it. That's going to be a good video. All right, so Mina gets back to Wales. Oh, fuck, we're still on Mina. All the way back to Wales.

All the way back to Wales. Don't ask her how she got there. Her ex-boyfriend goes, oh, I heard you're back. What's up, baby? No baby no fuck you i've met this stavros in greece and she said but it wasn't until the ex was being addicted she was like hang on a second no i do like stavros back in greece so then she books a flight and she flies all the way back there and now i can now confirm actually it took her 36 hours of travel flight connections trains buses and boats.

And boat schedules. She went the back way. She goes, did you know that it's flat as well? Well, he must have been like on an island somewhere because you don't just like fly directly into, you know, wherever. So, after flight, trains, buses and boats, she's like, fuck it, I'm going back. They've now been doing it for 16 years, married for 11. Aww. She just knew.

She was in love. 16 years. That's how long it took her to fly back again. She walked around the back of the map. And finally, Anthony once drove 12 hours from Ohio to Rhode Island to see a guy that he previously had, like, a fling with. And he's like, oh, hey, you know, we hooked up last summer a few times. I'm in Rhode Island now.

If you want to come and road my island, why don't you come on over? Yeah. So, he drives the 12 hours and gets there and goes, oh, yeah, you're going to stay with us? He's like, yeah, yeah. And he's like, what do you mean us? And he's like, yeah, so this is my boyfriend, Carlos. And he's like, what?

Was it a three-person thing or he meant do you want to come as a friend? He's like, I didn't. He just like was like, I thought I was coming to like. Plough you. Yeah. And then fucking your boyfriend's here. Was it a three-person thing? Oh, you'd be so gutted.

Yeah. Oh, you'd be so gutted. 12 hours, he's getting all revved up. I don't want to use the term stinging for it. I don't know why that term is like... If you're stinging, I don't think you should be doing anything. No, I don't know why that term... Maybe head to the doctor.

That phrase came to mind. Yeah. But just 12 hours of driving and he's like, Matt, I've driven for 12 hours. Who's this guy? I'm sorry, what? And also, are you staying with us? As if like, he's like, no, I got a hotel.

I'll just stay in my car on the way back to Ohio. That's heartbreaking though. You would buy like 20 donuts and just eat them in the car on the way home and cry. Because you'd be like, I thought I was going to fuck that guy and I didn't. How many times have you eaten 20 donuts on a car trip? Literally never. It just felt like a very like movie thing to do. You said stinging.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Cool. Hey, it's Mandy from Dallas, Texas and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. Champion tapas, Tony and Ryan podcast. Annie Pets, don't she? No, good on you, Annie. Thank you.

Harley Davidson. No, just Harley. Christina, good on you. G. Dor you. Harley Davidson. No, just Harley. Christina, good on you. G. Dora Hay. Dora Hay. Dora Hay. And Caitlin Anderson. Thank you so much for being part of the Patreon.

Absolutely love to see it. And if you're listening on Spotify, make sure you hit the follow button. If you're listening on Apple, I think there's also a follow button. Basically, wherever you are, hit the follow button. Just start mashing keys. There's stuff going on um we mentioned just before that in australia it's kind of coming to the end of year 12 for people like end of the school end of high school baby see you later um and in australia there's this thing called muck up day yeah and um by the time i got to year 12 it had actually been ruled

out like it was shut down you weren't allowed to do it anymore. Schools didn't like it. But basically, it was like a day where all the year 12s, which is our like high school. A senior. A senior. All the seniors, all the year 12s, they're about to go off for their last exams and they get to just like play pranks on the school. So, whether it's like filling the school pool with dishwashing liquid or, you know, weird things like that.

There was a huge human-sized dick in the middle of a roundabout. A human-sized dick? So, a regular dick? No, like the size of a full human. Yeah, it was crazy. There was like a human-sized dick somewhere. Like it must have been like paper mache-ed or something. And it was like it was a big veiny guy. And it was like put in the middle of the roundabout in Eltham. And then they put some like-

Was this your year 12? Yeah, it wasn't. I don't know who did it though, if it was our school or not. But it was like when I was in year 12. And there was like detergent and stuff like in the thing. So, it would come. So, it looked like it was like jizzing in the fountain. Yeah, that's quite funny though.

Yeah, it's quite funny. I, yeah, so, it had been ruled out by the time. The schools hated it because everyone was just running amok. Well, and it would literally, like, cause absolute headache because people would, like, put, like, burn the lawns on the ovals and stuff to, like, inscribe stuff. There was, like, teachers' cars would get vandalised. Like, it's actually pretty fucked. It's basically The Purge but like a bunch of horny teenagers,

which is definitely worse than rich people with guns, you know what I mean? Yeah, I mean. You're doing a lot of damage. Picky poison. But you wouldn't have done any. Oh, but we couldn't do it at our school anyway. But usually that's what they just say that. They go, oh, just to let everyone know.

Like, you're not allowed to do bad stuff. And you go, yeah, of course you'd say that. You're going to fucking cop the first egg. Well, we actually, so they didn't do muck up day. And instead they like threw us like a little carnival. Right. So there was like a boost juice van and like churros and like, you know, those big sherbet straws that you could like fill up.

Distracting me, sugar. Good policy. But yeah, like that's what we had. And it was like there was like a students versus teachers football game. And, you know, that kind of thing. Like we did that instead. Anyway. And so, it's a really big thing in Australia.

But I think they are trying to phase it out because obviously. The carnage. The carnage. Absolutely. I got a message from our friend Charlie in Brisbane. Yeah. Hi, Charlie. A big hello to Charlie and Emily from Aspley High.

Shout out. In Brisbane. Charlie says, hi, Tony. It's weird to think people in high school listen to our show. I don't know why. I just don't picture it. It's sickening to me. Yeah.

And then I actually replied to- So, I got this message from Charlie and then I replied to her. And I was like, why is she getting back to me? And I was like, she's at school. Like, I wanted to throw up. I was like, oh, okay. Like, you're busy? Too busy for me?

I'll text you back when I've got a spare. Yeah. Yeah, in homeroom. I'll text you at lunchtime. Anyway, sorry, Charlie. Hi, Tony. I'm about to graduate year 12. Thank fuck, she says. And this coming Friday, the 20 Charlie. Hi, Tony. I'm about to graduate year 12. Thank fuck, she says.

And this coming Friday, the 20th of October, I have a bring anything but a bag to school day. Oh. So, I guess they're trying to wean them away from pranks. And they get to- from drugs. Wean them away from pranks. Yeah. And they probably have like- they all dress up and they do this thing. Yeah.

Bring anything but a bag. I was wondering if you and Ryan had any ideas that won't get me expelled. Thanks. Love from Charlie. So, before I heard that Charlie was from Brisbane, I was going to suggest that instead of carrying her stuff in a bag, which is obviously outlawed for the day. Yeah. And it's like that's a fun creative challenge.

I think so too. Yeah. I was going to suggest that instead of having her stuff in a bag, that you and I would be her bag. Would go and carry her stuff. Yeah. Yeah, I've got your keys and your wallet all good, mate. Yeah, I've got your chemistry textbook, sweetheart.

Don't worry about it. Yeah. And follow her around. I love that idea, but she is unfortunately in Brisbane. We did go to Brisbane to watch Harry Potter. Yep. We've been to Brisbane for less is what I'm getting at. Yeah, that's fair.

I might remind you that we are going on an international work trip next week. Yeah. I don't really know how. And what, were you in Perth last week, in Auckland the week before? Are you just suggesting you might want to actually spend a night or two hanging out with your partner? Yeah, at home with my family. Okay. But it reminded me, before I even really thought about it,

aside from you being like, oh, is she in Melbourne? Like, can we go? It reminded me of the, you know, the 7-Eleven thing, which is like you can bring anything but a cup. Like, you could fill up like a bucket or a kiddie pool. Do they still do that? I don't know. But you could take in like one of those shell pools and like fill that up.

It had a lip or it could fit under the tank or it had like a few little rules. Well, they introduced the rules, I think, after people brought in wheelbarrows and stuff. Like, I think they were like, okay. $1.99 well spent. Yeah. Like, it's 60 cents for a wheelbarrow full of slurpee. You know what the joke's really on? Is that the person gets home and goes, well, what the fuck am I going to do?

What the fuck am I going to do with a wheelbarrow full of slurpee? And like, but you just said get home. You'd get back to the car and go, well, what the fuck am I going to do? You wheel it home. You just push out. And then you can't stop too suddenly or else it'll just, like. Slosh out. Can you imagine the ice cream headache or the cold, the brain freeze?

Oh, the brain freeze? Yeah. Can you imagine the ice cream headache or the cold, the brain freeze? Oh, the brain freeze? Yeah. I just, I can imagine though, like five 15-year-old boys sitting around a wheelbarrow like with those big straws that like you get from bubble tea. Put a liter of vodka in there, I'll get you started. Just chatting about the day and then they're storing the wheelbarrow.

So, on my muck up day, mum's house is like a few hundred metres from school. Yep. So, I said, muck up day starts at 8am. Everyone come around to mine about six. Mm-hmm. You know, everyone's dressed up like an idiot, kind of fun. And then we'll all head down together. Cool.

And I just kind of said that flippantly the day before at school. Of course you did. This is very Ryan John behaviour. And I said to the neighbours, because mum lives in a unit, so the other people in the little shared driveway, I was like, oh, a couple of friends coming over in the morning. A couple of friends. I was like, we'll actually be gone by-

100 high on day excels later, I bet. Well, I said, we'll actually be gone by 7.30 in the morning. So, by the time it gets noisy, we'll be leaving soon. So, sorry. And they all said, oh, no, I appreciate you letting us know. That's nice. So, mum's house is a unit. A beautiful little unit.

Beautiful little unit. With a beautiful view. Beautiful view. Because out the back. Yeah. So, we walked out the back and then just to school there. Yeah. So, 130, 140 people rolled in.

And now you suggest that all the Hyundai XLs and the shit cars are at the front. Nah, because everyone was fucking ready to drink. Because you turn eight. In Melbourne, you turn 18 Oh, of course Yeah NWA, it's not like that That's why I was like

Nah, so everyone's of legal age By the time the school year finishes But are you allowed to go to school drunk? Well, not really But it's the last day, it's muck up day Yeah, what are you going to do? Fuck you Rack off, teachers

Yeah And so a few people were like still going from the night before And just rolled straight in Oh my god And they've walked down from their mum's unit Which is the next street down Yeah And so, a few people were, like, still going from the night before and just rolled straight in. Oh, my God. And they've walked down from their mum's unit, which is the next street down. And I remember, actually, Pete Popovsky, he was the first one to turn up.

No, double P. Double P. He rolls in and I was, like, still in bed and I was like, oh, mate, did I say that? Fuck, yeah, come on in, I guess. Let me... And your mum's just like, Ryan. I think mum was out of town, hence why I was like, come on in.

Oh, okay. Yeah, but then everyone wanted to, like, you just dress up like, Ryan. I think mum was out of town. Hence, why I was like, come on. Oh, okay. Yeah. But then everyone wanted to like, you just dress up like an idiot. And because none of us had any money, there's like a Savers, which is like a secondhand thrift store down the road. Yeah. So, the day before, everyone just goes down. And our favourite thing to do, especially when we were like young

and fucking skinny, you could wear whatever you like. We just go to the girl's section and buy whatever fit. Yeah. Like, it was great. And so, we're all dressed like idiots. Just in the craziest combination of clothes. And then we get to school and they kind of go, oh, yeah, let's have some fun. We'll do a carnival type thing.

And the principal, Vincent Sakari. You're all throwing up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've been drinking since fucking. And Vincent Sakari, who started as principal like three weeks prior, he goes, I know what we'll do. We'll get like a bucking bronco, like a machine bull. Yeah.

Which is fun, right? That is fun. Except when you're wearing a dress and you're hammered. See, take a fucking moment to think about all the girls that have done that in a pub, in a dress and hammered. Shout out to Woolshed in Adelaide. Thank you. You know what girls don't have floating around?

I have never seen more testicles in my time. Mate, you're not doing life right. I'm probably not. But every bloke who's wearing a skirt, like a Barbie short skirt that they found at Savers that they've all got. Yeah, I'll get on the. And they have to split the dress so they can get the legs over. Right in the arm.

Oh, my God. And you're drunk as. And apparently, I got to Vincent Sicario. He told me get the legs over. Right at arm. Oh, my God. And then you're drunk as. And apparently, I got to the school. Vincent Sicari, the prince. He told me this like the week later. He goes, oh. He goes, you thought. I love that you're calling him Vincent Sicari, not like Mr.

Sicari or like. Well, he just started. I barely knew the guy. I actually won an award called most likely to make Mr. Sicari regret coming to the school. In a nice way. That's nice. I also won best male legs because I was shown some pins

when I was dressed as Jane. Anyway, he goes, you thought you were really clever because, you know, you're all drinking at your place and then you come down and you're like, oh, what? No, I just woke up all good, bro. And he's like, you thought you were really clever because you thought you were getting away with the fact that Mr. Sicari doesn't know I've been drinking.

Yeah. And he goes, but you't know I've been drinking. Yeah. And he goes, but you actually walked in holding a drink. Yeah. Oh, I thought you were about to say, you think you're so smart, but I've been drinking as well. I mean, it's safe. I'm wasted too. Yeah. Sakari rocked up at 7 a.m. at mum's house.

He goes, oh, where's the bottle? Yeah. And so, apparently, I just thought I had a drink bottle, like, of water. But I just walked in with, like, a- Cruiser or something. Yeah. And he goes, oh, can you put that in the bin, mate? And I was like, oh.

Yeah, probably. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That sounds about right. You neck it and then put it in the bin. But- Drinks are expensive when you're a kid.

Oh, yeah. You don't want to waste that. Like, when you've only just turned 18 and you're, like, making seven bucks an hour at the IGA or whatever. I also thought I think- I thought I was being funny by pouring Ouzo and Coke onto cereal. And it wasn't funny. I mean, Ouzo and Coke just full stop, but then- In a UDL can.

Pre-mixed. Well, I'm sure that this has brought up a lot of memories for people from like back in the high school days. But if anybody has any advice for Charlie on what to take that is not a bag to school on Friday. I think she should make a vest purely of Velcro and then stick the opposite Velcro thingy to her thing. And just stick it to her all day.

Well, what I thought was maybe if she was in Melbourne, I'll take down my stand up paddleboard. She could slice that open and carry that around all day. I'll put that stuff in the stand-up paddleboard. Yes. And you're not using it that day? No. And I'll just fucking gaff it back up. Yeah.

But unfortunately, she's not in Melbourne, so that won't fly. Or you can paddleboard up there. Maybe I will. I've got the time. Yep. And the tenacity. And desire. Oh, yeah.

But, yeah, if anyone's got any ideas for Charlie, pop them in the episode thread because she's- Anything but a bag. Anything but a bag. It's quite- It's fun. Creative, I think, for a school and to go, oh, like people have to think and-

What was your score of high school? My score? Didn't you get like when you finished high school, like your TER or your ENTER or your ATAR or whatever? Yeah, yeah. It's called an ENTER score when I finished. Oh, it's called- What is it or your ATAR. Yeah, yeah. It's called an ENTER score when I finished. Oh, it's called, what is it called? ATAR.

Yeah, ATAR is what it was. Do you remember your ATAR? I feel like in the 70s somewhere. Like not amazing, but like fine. Yeah. And you know what? I can't remember because it doesn't fucking matter. Yeah.

It didn't matter then and it still doesn't matter now. But all the time it it feels real important. Oh, well, because all your teachers tell you that if you, like, fucking don't do a good job that you'll literally be killed by the Western Australian Education Department. They'll murder you. Yeah. And your life will be over.

It felt like a really big deal then, but I literally haven't. No one's ever even asked me for my West Australian Certificate of Education, which was a really big deal when I was at school as well. You had to pass your waste. It Education, which was a really big deal when I was at school as well. You had to pass your WACE. It was like a really big thing. Tony, I should have asked you this before we started a business together. But do you have your WACE? Yeah.

Do you pass high school? Have you thoroughly been educated? Have you shown any physical evidence that you graduated high school? They were like, you will not be able to get into uni without this. And literally, I went to three universities. Well, the same university three times no one ever asked me for it yeah never even so i think it's fine so don't stress i feel like there's probably a lot of year 12s at the moment this wasn't supposed to be like a cautionary thing but

you feel like it's the biggest thing ever but it's fucking not you'll be fine you'll be so fine i tell you one of the most dickish things i've ever said in my life. And I mean, there's a few to choose from. Narrow it down. There's all this like, what do you want to do when you're older and stuff? And I just went, oh, the job I want to do when I'm older doesn't even exist now. Like that. And the teacher's like, what a fucking cockhead of a thing to say. Yeah.

Now, I don't want to say I told you so. I'd hate to be that guy. No, but it's true. And I remember telling my teachers that I was going to go to WAPA and they were like, watch your back up. And I was like, oh, no, I don't need, like, that's where I'm going to go. And they were like, oh, but like, watch your teacher. You don't know about this yet because it's 2000 and whatever year it was. 10. But there's going to be this thing called OnlyFans.

Everyone's got to back up if they need it bad enough. Yeah, that's true. Exactly. I've got to get up to see it here. Yep. I just wanted to send a shout out to Emma York, who's a tarper. Hi, Emma. I'm a dog groomer in the UK. Ooh.

And I compete in pure breed scissor class. So they're like, you know, perfecting the cuts. And I've always struggled with overthinking and not trusting my eye. Why are you laughing? Scissoring class. Yeah, if I had that at school, I would have been all good. Definitely would have gotten the 99 ATAR. 69. No, because I already got higher than that cancer. My ATAR was 69. Well, today I got out of my comfort zone.

I trusted my own eye and I wasn't overthinking it. I put the Tony and Ryan podcast on so I could just like, you know, block out what was around me. And I won the class. Now, check your phone and have a look at the dog here. And she also said I was. Whoa. Right. I love dog grooming videos on Instagram.

My biggest fear of the day wasn't the dog grooming. It was that my phone slash headphones would magically connect to the PA system when Tony was making her, and I quote, usual sounds. Oh, pish posh. This is amazing. Emily, you have slayed that dog. Yeah. Grooming.

Slayed the dog. Slayed bitch is what I like. Yeah, but it sounded like you got the scissors and you like slayed it. Slayed that bitch. It might be a female dog. It's Bruno. Hi, Bruno. Thanks for listening.

That's awesome, Emily. What do you love to see? Emma. Emma. Emily. Emma, yours. Great. you love to see? Emma. Emma Lee. Emma, yours. Great.

Good for both of them. I saw this on my, saw this on Facebook, that there's a pizza place, not sure where, that accepts, you know, like the ring pull tabs on like a soft drink or a beer can or whatever, the ring pull tabs on like a soft drink or a beer can or whatever, that they don't, they actually accept them at the Ronald McDonald house and they use them to make like pins and bits for like surgery and stuff like that. Because usually those plastics, there's not much use. That's landfill, right? Yeah, but they accept them and I guess they like,

I don't really know the thing, but I guess they like melt them down and they accept them and I guess they like, I don't really know the thing, but I guess they like melt them down and they use them. Anyway, and there's a pizza place where if you donate a gallon of the tabs only, so no cans, like the actual just tab thing, you get a 20-inch pizza for free. And this is Laura and she's rocked up with her gallon of tabs. That's a huge. Can tabs. That's a huge- Can tabs. That's a huge pizza.

You get more than a pizza for a fucking gallon of tabs. That is a fuckload of pizza. It's a big pizza. But also, think about how many cans of Diet Coke. Lucky girl. Who's the real winner? Do you know what I mean? Everyone, by the sound of things.

The kids, they get the new pins in their whatever it is. She's sucking down DCs. She's getting all these DCs. She gets a free pizza. So, Dad and I used to go to Burwood to drop off the they used to take the cans. And Dad, I didn't realise at the time

just must have been drinking like a fucking madman. Because we would go down with probably like six or seven full garbage bag size of like crushed down VB tins. Fuck. And it was like every couple of weeks.

And at the time, I was just like, oh, great. And then we always used to joke. I was like, oh, dad, what if we put, because they weigh it. And then you get a bit of money back. And then I used to get the money and like we'd do stuff with it. Yeah. And I was like, what if we like, we'll put a full one in. Just to make it a bit heavier.

Just to make it heavier. Yeah. And every week, we'd be like the same joke. We'd be like, oh, we'll put a bit of weight on it. i'll put my finger on it a little bit yeah and then it wasn't until like probably 15 20 years later i was like dad was probably drinking a fair bit then hey yeah and you call him you're like hey mate just want to check in like you're all good he goes yeah just dropping the cans off uh dad can you do me a favor i really need six dollars from the recycling place so can you go drink $500 worth of beer? See, this is the thing.

It takes quite a lot. Think about the money we can make. It takes quite a lot to, like, make money off those can recycling things. I mean, you get some back, but you're not really making money. You're not making money. But I guess it's, like, it's good for the environment. It's better than nothing. Yeah.

But, like, I've read this story about this couple in Adelaide that, like, paid for their wedding with, like, recycling cans. I'm like, was your wedding free? Because, like, how long did it take you to recycle that shit? Or how much plastic were you guys consuming in the first place? Yeah, like, how much stuff did you then have to have to then recycle the bottles or cans or whatever? Thank you so much for listening.

We are back tomorrow with... Don't have the shirt on. It's Normal or Nah tomorrow. Oh, yes! I don't know if anybody remembers, but I did float the idea of doing Normal or Nah once a week. It has not made it across the line yet. More than once a week.

Yep. More than once a week, thank you, which is twice. There is a Normal or Nah specifically about the recent behaviour of Tony Lodge. For fuck's sake. You know what? Great. Can't wait to hear it.

Love that. You already know it because you've been living it. You're welcome. And spoiler alert, nah. Oh, all right. See you tomorrow. Love you, bye.