Toni and Ryan - Taubs Has A New "Friend"

Episode Date: October 26, 2023

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Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge and we are calling Colin in Kansas City. We'll ask him about the Taylor Swift brouhaha. Oh, there's no brouhaha. Oh no, but just like every time I open my phone, it's like, well, where's Taylor at? Where are the Chiefs playing this week? I know. Good for them. Good for their PR. Oh mate, they've been winning anyway. Did you see that their like ticket sales, merch sales,

memberships are, like, through the roof? Yep. Hello? Colin! It's Tony and Ryan. How you doing? Oh, my God. It's you guys.

I very almost committed to a howdy, and I am so stressed about it. It's the wrong part of the country. I don't live in howdy country. But I just almost said it, and I've never said it before and I don't know why I was about to commit to it. So I'm feeling really stressed about that, Colin. I'm so sorry. Colin, will you approve today's episode?

I will. Legend. Thank you. Hi, it's Colin from Kansas City and I approve this podcast. I feel like yesterday's podcast felt like a drama TV show. You know how it kind of ends on a cliffhanger? And you go, oh, better call Saul. I'll have to watch the next episode.

It was like season one ended and season two doesn't come for six weeks. Yeah. So you mentioned yesterday that Torbz, at the end of the episode. As he loved to see it. Oh, yeah, Torbz got his driver's licence. Well, I do love to see it. I do love to see that. What's coming up today?

Well, not only did Torbz get his driver's licence, but also a new friend. What? What has happened to this guy? I know. No driving, no friends Torbs. Oh, that's a bit fucking rough, isn't it? And now he's driving with mates. He has friends.

I said a new friend, not one friend. Yeah. And all of your licence questions answered. There will be a Q&A press conference After the champion type of shout out I'll be ready for a grillin Yeah But first

What ruined your job? What ruined your job? And like something that you used to enjoy But now because of your job You don't get to enjoy it as much And let me introduce you to Colleen When you've seen like How the sausage gets made

Is that kind of Sometimes like that. But I think Colleen is a great example. So she's like in green technology and stuff and is like a consultant on energy efficiency. Oh, okay. So she can go into a building and be like, cool, here's how we can bring the power down. Here's how we can be more efficient and blah, blah, blah. How interesting.

Yeah, no, it's great. There's some interesting tarpas around here, man. Far out. Yeah, sorry, Colleen. when i go to the interesting yeah no it's great there's some interesting tarps around here man far out yep sorry colin when i'm in the gym every elliptical every bike every treadmill has a little tv on it and no one's watching it wasting all that power and it drives me fucking nuts you know they've got built-in little screens yeah and often sometimes there's like um the obviously with the button so you can choose your settings and stuff, but often there'll be like the football's on there or ESPN or it's just like a meandering walk by the river.

Oh, yeah, because you can do like- I'm going for a ride through the Himalayas. Yeah, or like cycling through the Cappuccino Street in Perth or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cappuccino Street. Sorry. So all she sees is wasted power. Oh. You know what a strip in Perth or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. So all she sees is wasted power.

Oh. You know what I mean? So you're just at the gym going, do you need them all? Do you need them all? Can I just turn? And she'll actually go and turn all of the things off. That's what I was going to ask. I was like, do you then be that guy that goes, oh, yeah.

She is that guy. I mean, it would do us all a favour to be a bit more conservative with our energy use, I guess. But wouldn't you get to the gym and you go, are these on? Or, like, what if you were just running to the bathroom and you were coming back and then they go, oh, my Himalayas ride's been turned on.

I was halfway through the Cap Patino Street in Perth and now I have to go back to the start of the Cap Patino Street in Perth to start my ride again. God, I've fucked one thing up and it's bloody all hands on. Well, why don't you be like me and pronounce everything correctly all the time and you'll never have this issue? Yeah, I didn't know what it was like to be on the other side. And you know what?

I'm really sorry. Thank you. Thank you, Em. 800 episodes in and finally. I just apologise. I'm not going to get bullied about talking like a fuckhead again. Hey, that's not nice. You know?

I don't like this. I don't like this at all. God, what ruined your job? Yeah, you can't. This came in from 50,000 different people. Oh. Teachers hate being teachers because it ruins names. So when they have a child of their own, they go, oh, can we call it this?

Nope, because two years ago I had a fuckhead with that name. Yeah. What about this? Nope, I know that person. He's also a little fucking grubby asshole. It's hard enough being a person and with that name. Yeah. What about this? Nope. I know that person. He's also a little fucking grubby asshole. It's hard enough being a person and thinking about that. Like, because you think, oh, I went to school with a, I don't want to say a name because it's going to sound really pointed because the name that came to my mind is someone I

went to school with who was a fuckhead. And I almost went like, oh, you don't want to call him Renee because Renee's such a bitch. Word it to me. It was Renee. I just went for it. I just went like, oh, you don't want to call him Renee because Renee's such a bitch. Word it to me. It was Renee. I just went for it. I just went for it. But Renee's changed. She's great now.

She might have. Don't know. For her sake, I hope she has. Me too. Me too. Anyway, but like. Shall know. It would be even harder for a teacher because you just meet a new cohort

of kids every year. And, you know, you'd see some shockers, eh? Yeah. Like I reckon in the next couple of years, school teachers are going to have like 80 Khaleesi's in every classroom. Yeah, yeah. Congratulations to Beck. One of my friend's teachers had a baby Penelope.

Beck. Oh, I like Penelope. Penny? So I've got a really good friend called Penelope and Penny, but I think she's going to be Pepper. Oh, I've got a really good friend called Penelope and Penny, but I think she's going to be Pepper. Oh, I like that. But Bridget said to me last night, she goes, I actually also really like Penelope.

I would have loved to have had a Penelope. And I went, nah, because remember the Penny we met a few weeks ago? I know her really well and that would have been a no from me. And then she goes, oh, she goes, how well did you know her? And I was like, pretty well. Penis. Little P. Not like that, she goes, how well did you know her? And I was like, pretty well. Penis. Not like that. But we just like hung out a lot.

But the word in my mind, Penelope, it just, that's who I think of instantly. I don't think, nice name. I go, oh, Penny, who I played volleyball with. Yeah. Yeah, no, I do get that. And every teacher just goes, ugh. Yeah, no, that would be really hard. Brittany Lynn.

I'm an ER nurse and medical shows make me want to claw my eyes out, especially when actors do CPR. Oh, misinformation. She's just close, but like just, oh, no, you'd obviously check that and you'd have the knee up and, no, you're like two vertebrae is up too high. And you're just watching. I actually just can't. Yeah.

Watch McDreamy fucking destroy this bloke i've heard that um from doctors i've heard that house is really good like house is a really good um doctor show that gets it quite right okay um but i can't imagine like old school er and stuff you just be like but also things change yeah like the way that you do cpr is really different now to how they would have done it fucking 40 years ago yeah like when you you wouldn't watch a modern shonga oh that's not how you'd give a lobotomy these days yeah because we don't just go oh mental health better just shoot his brain is that what they did in the day isn't that a lobotomy where they just lobotomy is when they put something up your nose and like scrape a bit of your brain out. Just to, like, deaden you to the world.

Yeah. Oh, wow. God, uplifting stuff. Oh, Brittany Lynn's probably seeing that going, that's not how they do a lobotomy. That's not how they do it. That's how DiCaprio did it in Shutter Island. No spoilers.

These reference very good. Rebecca says being a dog groomer is annoying because every time I, like, see a cute pet down the street, I just like see the knots and the dirt and go, oh, I'd probably clip his nails. And you don't want to be that guy that goes into a cafe and goes, oh, his nails aren't clipped. Or like she just sits.

Not that like there's something wrong with it. Not in a judgy way, but just like, oh, that's what I would do. Yeah, if that dog came to me, I'd get the corner there and I'd do that. And I was like, oh, that tail ends a bit of a brush. And so now she's like, is a dog lover. That's why she became a dog groomer. But now she's at the dog park and she's just seeing, like, potential work. You know, oh, I'd do that.

I'd do this. I reckon on the flip of that, that I've got friends whose jobs have ruined me. Because, like, you know if you hang out with a hairdresser and you go, oh, like, I didn't wash my hair before I came. Yeah. Or, like, you hang out with your friend who's a chef and you go, well, I don't really want to cook dinner because, like, are you just picking apart what I'm, you know.

I feel like there's a flip of it as well and they go, it's actually fine. Like, your wife. I think it can go both ways. Totally. But your wife, Bridget, she, like, was a winemaker and she always says when we go out, we go, oh, Bridget, like, you know, and she goes, please don't say anything to the waiters because I don't then want them to, like, be different with me because they. The sommelier or the fancy waiter will, like,

almost, like, try to show off to Bridget. And it's just, like, it's a bit cringe. Also, something that Bridget doesn't like in a good way is, like, people will come around and go, oh, I didn't know what wine to get because I knew that you would blah, blah, blah. And Bridget's like, no, no, no. Wine is for drinking and enjoying. If you find a $3 bottle and you fucking like it, then pour it out and let's drink it. The first time I ever like went out for dinner with Bridget, I was like, oh, because I thought she was going to judge me. She was like, babe, it really doesn't matter. But I was like, oh, because I thought she was going to judge me. She was like, babe, it really doesn't matter.

But I was like, oh, I'm glad we've had this conversation now. So every time we go out, I'm like, oh, yeah, well, I'll get the Bridget. Yeah, so you go, oh, I'm glad we've had this chat. Two Moscatos, thanks, sweetheart. Yeah, I'll get the tap water. Thank you. I think even on days where we, like if we've had a really big day and obviously our job is talking. Yeah.

Like, we are recording a podcast and every day when we come in and record a podcast and then I go, fuck, I actually just, I can't listen to anything. I don't want to talk to anybody. I'm, like, talked out for the day. Yeah. And I'm a chatter. Yeah. And now when I go and do stuff, I'm like, I can't, I used to be such a big small talker, but now I just can't. I'm like, well, I'm an introvert.

Yeah. And so after doing a pod or a meet and greet, like I love it. And then I'm like, I'm exhausted. And then sometimes getting home, Bridget's like, so how was your day? And you go, no. And it's a really crazy thing. I was like, I never thought that I would get to my, like, talk limit. But now I-

The limit does exist, ladies and gentlemen. It actually does. And because I started realising, like, oh, I'm not really as into just, like, having a yarn with people. Yeah. And I was like, oh, it's because I am actually talked out. You're getting it out. Yeah. You're just having a yarn with me.

Am I gatekeeping your yarns? No, no, no, no, not at all. And I, like, love what we do for work. I can't believe that I talk for a living. It's fucking insane to me. We can believe it. Oh, okay. But then when I go and, like, have a chat with, like,

if I get into an Uber, I used to always, like, chat with the Uber driver and stuff, but now I'm, like, I just need to sit here. And I'm not even on my phone now. I'm just, like, I just can't take anything more in or out. You know our mate Amy Collette? Yes. She's a radio content director. Yeah.

And she was my first boss and kind of taught me like how to do radio and stuff. Yeah. She's a fucking legend. She is the loveliest woman ever. She's a legend. She now lives in New Zealand. With the Music Network or more or less. I'm not sure where she is.

But she's running a big network in New Zealand. Good on her. So she would like craft new radio announcers like ability to tell a story. So blame her for all of this. But she said anytime she'd have a chat,

she'd be like, yep, skip that bit. Get to the point, please. Like, oh, you should have mentioned that at the start. Like, yep. And just anytime that she's chatting

with her uncle and they've got this long, boring story, she's like, nope, nope, nope, nope. Like you need to get to the point and you need to like hit that to all you've hit too many topics. And just all time that she's chatting with her uncle and they've got this long, boring story, she's like, nope, nope, nope, nope. Like, you need to get to the point and you need to, like, hit that. Oh, you've hit too many topics. And just all she could do is, like, critique people's talking. But it is hard, though.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, when you listen to someone tell a story and you go, oh, fuck me, mate. I tell you what's great, when someone tells a boring 50-minute story and then they go, but to keep a long story short, that's too far. It's already a long story. It's already too long. Or the punchline's already been told and they go,

oh, but the best part is. And you go, the best part already happened. The best part happened six minutes ago. And the best is fucking a stretch, you know. Finally, Erin Helena is a lawyer and she said, legal shows have set me up with false pretenses so what happens in a show right is they go I've busted you I'll see you in court tomorrow and she's like no I'll see you in court in 18 months yeah it takes years yeah and so you watch the show and it just like

you go to court or they have like a montage yeah of like oh here's a thousand documents we need to go through them and find that skerrick of evidence and then there's just like it's a montage looking through the books getting takeaway food it's a month she's like yeah that's a year yeah and they actually have to do it yeah it's like those click to clean videos on tiktok i go yeah but some then had to actually do it yeah the click doesn't actually do anything. Yeah, I've tried. I'm standing in my kitchen clicking like this, and it's just not happening.

Hey, it's Colin from Kansas City. You're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. Do we want to continue the off-air chat that we've just had about law firms? Well, I mean, you just think they're all like suits, don't you? You think they're all fucking, they're all wearing great clothes every day. When in reality, that's just not how it is. I'll the thing with suits and was it cam you mentioning the quips like how they've always just got like this fucking fire line and they walk out of the room yeah i'm like

we're actually in a meeting you can't just walk out yeah and then i told him i'd hit him with the section 44 see ya and it's like oh we're actually still in the meeting yeah but he walks out and then walks back and sits down yeah sorry about that so to continue from page three like no one's just like dropping bombs and leaving offices because you just can't and i think that as a kid i just thought like oh how great you get to dress like a grown-up every day for work it sucks you wear a suit you bang supermod, you say like three snappy sentences a day, then you go out and dine and then go back to your billion-dollar apartment. Yeah.

How hard could life really be? Like, and then now I'm like, I wish I had a uniform. Like at school, I would have killed for free dress every day, but now I'm like, I wish I had a polo shirt that I wore every day. I wear a free dress every day. It wasn't that good. After about the first week, you go, oh, I've worn all my cool stuff. Now I just chuck some jeans and a T-shirt and I don't give a fuck.

Yeah, but that's kind of what work is. Yeah, that's true. Massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas. That's Tony and Ryan Podcast. Over on our Patreon, you can check out all the information. It's in our show notes. Ian Farr. Ian, are you fucking kidding me?

Ian, are you fucking kidding me? Congratulations on the recent engagement. Yeah, very exciting stuff. Haven't got a wedding invite or an engagement party invite in the mail. Mate, don't ask because it'll come through. Yeah, that is true. And then you'll be up for going to a wedding. I'm in America.

Come back. Oh, sorry. He goes, yeah, it's in two years. We might be coming back. I'm still here. I'm still here. We're still trying to figure out the tipping. Dee, thank you so much.

Taylor Elswick, Drew Stacey and Nate Hennings, thank you so much. An absolute pleasure to have you guys in our patreon um tomorrow night we are in atlanta 5 p.m and we're doing four meet and greets in four states in 24 hours you're welcome four meet and greets four states in 24 hours is that right are we crazy let's take that in i feel like everybody needs a moment to just like appreciate what we're doing yeah yeah thank you you know i'm not saying take that in. I feel like everybody needs a moment to just, like, appreciate what we're doing. Yeah, thank you. You know, I'm not saying take it in.

It's like we have to do it. I'm saying think about how thankful you should be. Mate, of course. My boyfriend said no, but yes. Tomorrow night. He's not my keeper. Tomorrow night, Atlanta. Sunday morning, Nashville.

Sunday afternoon, Louisville. Sunday night, Indianapolis. And then on Monday in Chicago. Fuck. Is it fair to say we've got a big weekend on? Do I have to wear different outfits to the three on the one day? No. Thank God.

Although it'll look like we just did the one big one. Montage. It's a montage. Get and take away food in the meet and greets. Driving in the car, smush smudges and Rick name who would top as they're actually driving us. Thank you, boys. Hopefully they've got their license like my boyfriend.

So I have been doing it with my boyfriend Torbs for 10 years. We've been dating for nine. Damn straight. And when my boyfriend Torbs was like 17, he like went for his licence as you do, failed the first time again as you do. I think I failed my driver's test like eight times. I ran a red light in my driver's test.

Like, yeah, you just like, you don't know the road very well. Well, so you were too well because it was orange and I was like, I'll fucking get that. And then the guy was like, oh, look, day to to day you might get away with that but in the actual test i reckon maybe just ease up there and just maybe wait for the red because i went that is the most ryan thing i've ever heard and i go and he looked at me like what the fuck you know because and then i looked at him because the inspector's in the back oh am i driving like my instructor was in the front and the guy doing the test is in the back

yeah so my instructor's like looking at me like and i'm like what and the guy goes oh good mate do you just want to pull over here on the left and i was like yep no worries and he's like he's asking you to get out of the car yeah so in wa it's only you and the assessor your instructor is just like sitting at the main roads place like when are they coming back um anyway but so i failed my driver's test like eight times. You failed yours. Torb's failed when he was 17. And then he moved out of home because he was living like not in the city.

He was living in Bunbury. So, he moved out of home, never had any money, and then just like never went for it again. And he is a very happy walker, public transport taker, taxi getter, whatever. All good. And there's been a few times where I've been like, fuck, it would be really handy if you could come pick me up or drop me off. happy walker, public transport taker, taxi getter, whatever. And there's been a few times where I've been like, fuck, it would be really handy if you could come pick me up or drop me off. But it was just kind of like part of our life. Yeah.

Anyway, we are. Yeah. So he's he's got his license. Incredible. I'm really, really proud of him because it's hard to do new things as an adult. And because like when he was even trying to get lessons, they're like, oh, yeah, is it for your child? Like, because he's talking to them on the phone.

They're like, oh, how old is your son slash daughter? And he was like, oh, no, no, no, like, it's for me. I've got my learner's permit. So, not only is he getting burned by us and the Tarpers, he's getting burned by the fucking place. And so, for the past month, Torbs has been doing, or month, five weeks or something, he's been doing like a lesson every week.

So you kept this under wraps? Well, it was really hard. Was he like scared because he didn't want to like in case he didn't get it or something? Well, yeah, so he didn't. So it's really hard to get a test. So it's not hard to like, not that it's not hard to pass, but like that part's not the hard thing.

It's that you have to wait for a test. So they're sold out like five weeks in advance. So five weeks ago or whatever, he was like, oh, I'm going to do this thing. And I was like, oh, maybe get a lesson this week and go for it next week. And then he's like, yeah, no, you can't get a test for another six weeks or whatever it was. I was like. Yeah, right. And so.

Another 10 years goes past. Yeah. And then you just like never fucking get it again um so it was really hard to not tell you and because torbs and i um we just bought a house and the house is gonna like settle while we're here in america and um he was like and so my sister lives uh in melbourne now and so she was like yeah we can help and we're obviously getting removalists for like the big stuff. But it was like, oh, you won't be able to just like ferry things back and forth.

And I know that when you're moving, there is always like, can you just grab that extra box? Can you just grab that extra thing? Or do you mind meeting the internet guy at the new house? Because he's there now. I'll just whip over. Anyway, so he tells me that he's going to do it. And I go, that's amazing, mate.

Really proud of you. Like I really, not only am I really proud of him for passing, like, on his first, like, adult try, I'm just really proud of him for, like, putting himself out there. And, like, my beautiful guy, Torbs, he really needed a fucking win. Yep. Like, he just needed a win at the moment and this is just, like, really, like, of course he fucking waited until I was out of the country,

you know. Right. Like, I got a taxi to the airport the other day. But, no, Matt, you're all good. So, is he taking all these biddies back home for a cruise? Well, he and Pippa are probably cruising around Reza, you know, getting a master. Oh, Pippa's got her head out the side of the window. They're just loving themselves.

And they're cruising around like this, like, low rider stuff. I don't even think Nando's has a drive-thru. If they did, he'd be fucking cruising through it. How many nugs for you today, Pipp? Yeah. You got the lemon and you today, Pip? Yeah. You got the lemon and herb or the mild? So, talk to me about the Audi. So, Torbz was doing, like, instructor lessons because I was like,

mate, I can teach you how to drive, no problem. But, like, I don't know the new shit. Like, because, you know, when you learn, there's, like, very specific things and you go, oh, you can't do that and you steer like this. That changes, like, once a year. Are we still doing 10 and 2 no we're not doing what are we doing you literally don't have to do that anymore when i learned how to drive as well you had to push pull steer was that a thing so you had never heard of that before so it was like illegal for your

arms to cross over okay yeah and stuff like that and you had to um well that's not possible for me because i only ever have one hand one hand on the wheel well now that i'm a gangster same but like when you're learning to drive i just do gangster i just do um quarter past one yeah um anyway six just holding at the bottom right at the bottom six and nothing like this yeah six and nothing bitches yeah fuck you am i even holding on to it you can't tell um anyway something down here so there's all that stuff and i went i've got bad habits from driving for over 10 years that i don't I even holding on to it? You can't tell. Anyway. I'm holding on to something down here. So, there's all that stuff. And I went, I've got bad habits from driving for over 10 years that I don't want to pass on to you.

Yeah. And he said, I don't want to drive the Audi anyway. And I said, that's fair. Like, I get it. Yeah. I said, you can, but I get it. Well, with an instructor, yeah, that's their job, right? They've got a car that's insured.

They've also got the other pedals. And like, they know exactly what they're looking for in the test. I was like, mate, let's spend the money. Yeah. It's just worth it. Yep. Anyway, so he ends up getting in touch with this guy who is, like, an ex-cop and now he's a driving instructor.

Right. And he goes, yep, I've got a 98% pass rate. Like, so Carlton, for those playing at home in Melbourne, which is like a cool, busy suburb, is the hardest place in the country to pass your driver's test. I was going to say, I've actually heard that from when I did mine because in Eltham, in the suburbs, I would just say in inverted commas, normal.

But in Carlton, you've got fucking trams coming through at weird angles. Cyclists. Cyclists. Hook turns. Weird shit. It's busy. There's cafes with like the chairs and stuff out on the road someplace. Like, do they have right of way or do I get to hit them? Yeah, like do the chairs, do I have to get out, push them in and then keep going? Have you got an ex-Benedict there, bro? Do you need some salt and pepper? Yeah, or you jump out and you fucking have a sip of their coffee and then jump back in. Are we still doing that? Yeah.

Nah, so Carlton is 100% tough. So it's really tough. And this guy goes, look, you won't get a test anywhere else for probably two months. Whoa. Because all the other places book out because it's easier. If I lived in Carlton, I'd be booking in Altham for no reason. Exactly. Anyway, so like right into the deep end, Torbs is driving around Carlton with this guy.

And I was like, mate, you're fucking braver than me. I don't even drive around there. Like, I just can't. If he's good at driving Carlton, he can drive And I was like, mate, you're fucking braver than me. I don't even drive around there. Like, I just can't. If he's good at driving Carlton, he can drive us to El Capitanos. We can have the pizza and drink 15 cocktails each and he can drive us home. And he can drive us home. Fuck yeah. Exactly right.

Fuck yeah. Anyway, so he's like, he goes off for his first lesson. And Torbs and I have like, we use UpBank. Yep. And our shared, one of our shared accounts is like our fun account so if we go out for coffee or for lunch or whatever it like goes out of that account and it pops up anyway he's going for this two-hour lesson yeah and um around like three quarters of the time that torbs has been gone so say he left at 12 around like 1 15 yeah i get like, notification from my art bank and it's like, oh, Carlton Cafe, like, $18.

And I was like, oh, like, okay. Sure. And then- Apparently you can order and drive. They have implemented that. Anyway, and he comes home and I was like, how did you go, mate? How did you go? And he goes, oh, yeah, he thinks I'm, like, pretty good for, like,

a round two beginner. Yeah, yeah. And he was like, yeah, he doesn't seem to think I'll have a problem passing. And we were debriefing about the thing. And then I go, oh, like, did you guys, like, stop for lunch or something? He goes, yeah. And I went, hang on. What?

The lessons cost $180 for two hours, right? I go, and you're fucking- $180? Well, I guess the petrol is, yeah, and all that. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, maybe it's not that fucked. Actually, it is fucked.

It's not that fucked, but it's a lot of money. Yeah. It's like you get it, but still. And I was like, hang on. We've just paid this guy like $200 for you to drive around with him for- And who bought the coffees? Two hours. And I was like, well, not only who bought the coffees,

but surely that's a waste of fucking time. Time is money, babe. Like, you're not learning anything while you're sitting down for a coffee. Oh, is that during the lesson? This is during the lesson. Oh, no, no. Right? I was like, cool, lesson's over.

By the way. No, no, no, no. Well, first of all, who's asking their fucking driver out on a date after? But I would have assumed that's after the two-hour period. Luckily, Torbs is like 35 years old. You know, obviously he's like, well, I can't hang out with a teenager after. But I would have assumed that's after the two-hour period. Luckily, Torbs is, like, 35 years old, you know. Obviously, he's like, well, I can't hang out with a teenager because that's fucking weird. Yeah, true.

So he goes, oh, it's just two adult bros, like, hanging out. Anyway, so they stopped for coffee and I was like, oh, you had a coffee? And he goes, yeah, we just, like, got chatting. And he said, oh, Alex, pull over up here. He does a reverse parallel park on his first fucking lesson. That's hard. That'll get

tony revved up and he goes yeah so i've like we just stopped for coffee and i was like okay anyway the next time they go out for a lesson i'm pretty sure we were out of town yeah and we were somewhere maybe we're in sydney or something and um i get this fucking two-up notification on my thing and it's like you know that restaurant on berke Street, Pellegrini's, that pasta bar? Yeah. It comes up and it's fucking like 26 bucks at Pellegrini's. I was like, what the fuck is he doing in the city?

Like, instantly I was like, oh, my God, he's cheating on me. And then I was like, hang on, Torbs has got a driving lesson. And I text him, like, afterwards when he goes, hey, sweetie, like, just got home. And I was like, did you guys go out for dinner? And he goes, yeah, we went out for dinner and I, like, afterwards when he goes, hey, sweetie, like, just got home. And I was like, did you guys go out for dinner? And he goes, yeah, we went out for dinner and I was like, is this guy your mate? And Torbjorn's like, we get along really well. And then one Saturday night we're, like, sitting at home on the couch.

His phone rings and I was like, oh, my God, someone's dead. Yeah. Like, who calls? Who calls on a Saturday night? Who calls? Who calls full stop? Yeah. And it's the guy going, hey, mate, you know how during the lesson today I mentioned that, like, my computer wasn't working?

And, like, you're an IT guy. Like, do you have 10 minutes to kind of, like, walk me through it now? They're sitting there on FaceTime. That's cute. Walking, like, towards his. What was he wearing? I didn't see him. I just, he had the camera, like, facing the computer.

And I was just like, okay. And anyway, so like, and then one afternoon, it's like three o'clock and he rings and he goes, hey, mate, I'm in your hood. Do you want to do a lesson now? Do you have an hour? And Tosh was like, okay. Runs downstairs. He picks him up like a day.

Like, I'm in the area. Like, you want to catch up? Tony, can I ask you an honest question? I expect an honest answer. Yes. I'm always honest with you. Are you jealous? No, I was actually just area. Like, you want to catch up? Tony, can I ask you an honest question? I expect an honest answer. Yes. I'm always honest with you. Are you jealous? No, I was actually just like.

You jealous? Surprised. He's dating another man. But I was like, well, it's really nice that you get along with this guy and you obviously feel really comfortable. And, hey, he's obviously a great fucking driving instructor because you passed first time at Carlton. So, hang on.

Are they going to continue to be friends now that he's got the licence or is this just a part of the ploy? Because when would you feel more relaxed knowing that your, in inverted commas, friend is your instructor? Maybe this is part of the personal service. So, that's kind of what I thought. I was like, you know, you want to get along and feel comfortable in the car because there's nothing worse than when you're feeling stressed

and you'd have to drive. Because your hairdresser acts as your best friend the minute you meet them yeah and then you walk out and then they're the next girl's best friend yeah um they had like a lesson before torbs's test yeah so they had like a two-hour lesson then they did the test you come in hot you come in in form so yeah exactly torbs goes, he only charged me for an hour. And the other hour is like while you're away, I'm going to go and like, seeing as you're away anyway, I'm going to go and like help him because his stereo is not working. So the guy said to him like, oh, you've got a two-hour lesson.

I'll only charge you for one lesson. If you come around and do the stereo. And then like, yeah, would you mind coming and helping me with this thing? And they're just, like, friends and they just get along really well and they, like, go out for – they went out during the lessons for coffee and stuff. Oh, my God. And I was like, this is really sweet, but, yeah, do you stay in touch? Is there, like, a –

How many other guys has he got on the go? Oh, yeah. I was like, Tobbs, are you feeling, like, defensive that you're not going to be catching up and keep tapping on him anymore? Yeah, so what are you doing next week? He's like, oh, I've got this new guy for a lesson. Tob I was like, Tobbs, are you feeling like defensive that you're not going to be catching up with, keep tapping on him anymore? what are you doing next week? He's like, oh, I've got this new guy

for a lesson. Tobbs is like, oh, okay. Tobbs is like, oh, okay. So there's others.

Anyway, so. I don't know what, the strangeness of the friendship has outweighed the proudness of the. Oh, well,

I actually thought it was quite sweet they got along so well. It is, but it's just so unexpected. Well, I would just like to it was quite sweet they got along so well with the coffee. It's just so unexpected. Well, I would just like to know. Anyone making a friend is unexpected over the age of 13. Yep, I agree.

And now I just kind of want to see how this pans out over the next few weeks. Does the guy keep calling Torbs and go like, oh. Do you think he'll stay the night when you're out? I mean, you would. Do you think he'll stay? I don't know. Like him and Pippa are like being friends. Luckily, we're moving soon.

He won't know where the new house is. He will. He'll be around then. Oh, Torbs is probably playing the long games like, can you help me move? Because he got all those cars for his business. That's true. Oh, problem. What's the problem?

How many car spots does your new house have? It has one. Yeah. And a permit for the street. Excuse me. I know Tony Lodge. There will be no permit on the street because you hate not knowing where to park. Tony Lodge will not be parking on the street.

You're correct. Someone else might be who just got their license who I don't give a fuck about. That might be their problem. However, not my problem. Tony Lodge is out. He parks in the fucking garage When he proposes to you In Hawaii

Instead of That is not happening When he gives you An engagement ring Will you return the favour And give him An engagement car No I hand him the permit

I've paid for the permit You can pay for the car Or you take him To like an Audi dealership And you're like See that beautiful Audi Over there Yeah

Here's a permit You could buy one of those Yeah You got your cash ready sweetheart Yeah. Here's a permit. You could buy one of those. Yeah. Yeah. You got your cash ready, sweetheart? Yeah. Will we get a car? Probably not.

I don't know, to be honest. It's just the fact that if he needs to drive, he can. Yeah. It's huge. Yeah. And while I'm away, because, like, obviously my car is going vegan. So, he's going to, now that he's qualified. Yeah.

So, he actually drove it before his test. Yeah. Like, we went out to my sisters a few times in um temple so um and he drove like in traffic and at night time and stuff because he wasn't doing that in the lessons um so he got a bit of practice because i was also like if you do pass while i'm away i'm not going to be able to like help you out and you're all good now all of a sudden you're going to be like on your own and because he's over 21 21, I think it is, you don't even have your red peas. You just go straight to green peas.

I don't know the difference between different peas. Well, so red peas is the one you get first where you've got like a night time, like a curfew. But also just like on the road people see a red pea and go, you might have gotten your license today. Whereas a green pea you go, you've been driving for at least six months, mate. Like you're all good. I don't think about that at all.

Oh, I do. Yeah, I do. Because I didn't even know the difference so you just said that yeah anyway though tom's got his license i'll get up i'm still very very exciting i'm so proud of him i'm proud of him um and it's just like now i'm just like of course he's got his license yeah just you know like i'm just like yeah of course you of course you can drive um but i'm just i think he just he's just so proud of himself as well. He's just so chuffed. Like, when he sent me the message, I was like... Yeah, beautiful. Yeah. Just love him.

So, do you consider yourself in a thruple now? Oh, because... I don't know. I'd love to see how it pans out. You're going to spend more time with him than you over the next month. That is a good point. Are you jealous? Imagine, though, if I get to the airport in Hawaii.

So, because I'm flying to Hawaii from LA. Torbs is flying to Hawaii from Melbourne, I hope. Yeah. Imagine if I get there and it's like, I'm like, oh, my God, so good to see you. And they're both there. Yeah, that's what I mean. And fucking Jacob's rolled in. Jacob.

Jacob's a good name for him, actually. Yeah. So, it's me, Torbs and Jake and we're just fucking. Hanging out. Hanging out. Which one's going to have the couch? Jake and Torb, Tony can fight for themselves. Yeah, it sounds like I'm on the couch or in the bathtub or something.

I don't know if we even got a room with a couch. I don't think it's that nice of a hotel. That's huge. It's massive, eh? Yeah, I'm so proud of him. Do we have to go away every time for Torbs to do something? It's pretty cool, though. It is cool.

And you know what? My boyfriend can drive. I feel like a teenager. You look like you're giddy like a teenager. Yeah, I know. Oh, yeah, my boyfriend can pick me up from school. Well, you know. I got to love to see it.

What is it? Tony might be 10, 15 years late, but my love to see it is Tony is a Tim Ferriss fan. Oh, good. Nice one. And double points. Tony has discovered podcasts. I have.

I can't believe my ears. I know. Tony notoriously hates podcasts. I just never found the right one. Slash had the time, not had the time, had the opportunity because I don't have a commute. But now, when we get home from America, I'll be driving to work every day. Yeah, because you're further away now. 20, 30 minutes or whatever.

Just listening to Tim Ferriss hanging out. Yeah, and also like on the plane, you know. I mean, it was like, what, 18 hours? And, you know, it gets fucking old. Does it? You and me just chatting? Chatting? Sorry, that's how I pronounce fingering in Texas.

No, I think it's how you pronounce... Sorry, that's how I pronounce fingering in Texas. No, I think it's how you pronounce.....for fucking 18 hours, waking up to shit and making me wake you up for food and that's it. I've got a newborn. I haven't slept for months. This is my chance, baby. Oh, yeah, well, I'm just saying. I can't sleep to her.

I'll be sleeping in Atlanta and Indianapolis and Chicago. I'm loving it. Sick. My love to see is from Olivia Buchanan. She shared this in our Facebook group. My boyfriend is a converted tarpa. Welcome. Love to see is from Olivia Buchanan She shared this in our Facebook group My boyfriend is a converted tarpa Welcome Love to see that Olivia Well my boyfriend can drive

Can yours? Yeah suck on that Olivia We were listening to the radio And it was Nicola Wright speaking I don't know who Nicola Wright is But I'm guessing It's not Nicola Wrong I'm guessing it

Well funny you should say that Nicola Wright speaking And he said Oh what about Nicola Left? And I was like, no way. That's what Tony and Ryan always do. He thought it was hilarious and now has started listening. Welcome to the podcast.

I'm embarrassed that's the reason you came on. I just love that you made the joke. That was exactly what I was going for. Sorry, mate. Sorry. And glad to have you a part of the community. Olivia, I don't know where you're based, girlfriend, but maybe we'll see you at one of the 7,000 meet and greets

that we've got this weekend. See you at Garage Hall in Indianapolis on Sunday night. Fuck, we've got a big weekend. You really back that in. Yeah, that's where we are. No, no, no. I mean that that's where Liv is. Oh.

Yeah. I mean, where else could she be? Yeah, that's true. are. No, no, no. I mean that that's where Liv is. Oh. Yeah. I mean, where else could she be? Yeah, that's true. Where else could she live? I think it's where else could she be than Indianapolis. We can. All right. We might not be doing the meet and greets.

My weekend just got a bit slower. Yeah. But yeah, we'll see you this weekend. Atlanta, Louisville, Nashville, Indianapolis, Chicago on Monday night. Yeah. bit slower yeah um but yeah we'll see you this weekend atlanta louisville nashville indianapolis chicago on monday night yeah you'll have to say that toronto next week toronto toronto next week toronto is six days away and it feels like we got 50 things to do before then it doesn't feel like right does it no it's because itbs can drive now. Everything feels different. Everything's feeling a bit Torbs-y.

It's opposite day. It's Friday. I don't understand. I know. And we've spent a lot of time figuring out tips and time zones. Yeah. Tips, time zones and Torbs. Fuck the whole thing.

Yep. Welcome to Triple T FM. Right. Chat to you Monday. That's very funny for a very niche reason. Thank you. Love you. Bye.