Toni and Ryan - Tea, Toast & Tablets

Episode Date: February 16, 2023

We hear a special story from a young Ryan, and an awful one from old Toni. Fuckin' love ya!!! Toni xoxox [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT] Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the podcast. My name's Ryan. This is author Tony Lodge. We are calling Renee, who is just down the road in Melbourne. Renee! Will she rename herself? Hello? Hello, Renee! Oh my God, finally! Hi! How are you?

Hello! I'm good. How are you? I'm really good. Ryan's also here. I'm also here. We're saying finally because there may, may have been some technical difficulties. Yes. But we appreciate it, Renee. Renee, what have we interrupted you doing today? I'm just working at the moment, organising appointments for people.

Oh, like in a doctor's office? It's like a mobile podiatry clinic. So I work from home in my PJs. Oh, that's really good. You know what, Renee? I think I've got plantar fasciitis. What? I know.

You'll need to see somebody. I know. Do you want Renee to make an appointment? Are you in Melbourne, Renee? Maybe I'll get you to biz me up an appointment. I am. But one, I'm not a podiatrist. And two, I'm actually disgusted by feet, which I know is ironic given where I work.

That doesn't make me feel comfortable about wanting to go see a podiatrist, so I guess I'll go undiagnosed because I'm a plantar fasciitis. So, Renee, did that come up in like the job interview or did they say like, you know, you're passionate about feet? Like what's the deal there? My boss is my friend and she already knew I was grossed out by feet. So I just don't look at the profiles that have pictures. Okay.

All right. Well, I don't know if I approve that, but would you approve this podcast? You know I approve this podcast. Yes. Feet and all. Feet and all. Hey, this is Renee from Melbourne and I approve this podcast. Alright, welcome to the video show.

Hello. As well as being able to listen on Spotify, you can also watch on Spotify as well and use the little button to watch on your smart TV. Yeah, no pressure though. It's the exact same thing. So there's the little button to watch on your smart TV. Yeah. No pressure, though. It's the exact same thing, so there's no, like, differences in the episode. It's the same thing. Yeah. Now, is there a food that you tolerate because your partner loves it? You don't hate it, but you don't love it, but your partner loves it, so you put up with it.

Tony, is there something you would like to say and put on the record? Paella. What's paella? You know, that, like, Spanish rice and chorizo and chicken. Oh, yeah. Sometimes it's, like, with seafood or whatever. I feel like that's something Miguel would cook on The Living Room. Probably.

Rest in peace, that TV show. Probably, yeah. Because he just likes saying the word paella. Paella. So Torbs loves paella. Wow. And his stepdad, Dave. Yeah.

His family is all Spanish. Really? Yeah. Olay. Yeah, exactly right. And so his, like, step-grandma, I guess, was, like, super into cooking. And Dave used to, like, make paella. That was the first time that Torb's ever made it.

Yeah. And, like, learnt to make it from his stepdad. So it was, like, a really, like, nice, beautiful connection with him. Part of the family. Yeah, so lovely. But I fucking hate it. I don't like it. Like, I just, I don't know what it is.

I just can't get into it. And it doesn't make sense because I love rice, love chicken, love chorizo, love seafood. There's no obvious thing. I don't know. It just doesn't do it for me. I like risotto, which is like not the same. No one go, don't bastardise my food.

I'm saying like I like rice dishes. It seems like the same thing. No, it's not. Oh, my God. It's all the same ingredients. No, it's not. Oh, my God. I like. It's the same ingredients. I like all that shit. Yeah. But I just, I can't do paella and Torbs loves it.

And him, like, cooking it makes him really happy. And I just can't fucking do it. Do you just put up with it or do you eat something else? I put up with it. Yeah. And how often is paella in the fucking, how do I say that word? Paella. How often is paella in the mix?

Torbs would eat it once a week if it was, like, if we could. But what is it, though? Maybe twice a year. And so he's, like, stopped eating it because I don't really like it. So the question was, what are you tolerating for your partner? But the reality is maybe what are you sacrificing for Tony? So he's taking it kind of like right out of the rotation and then occasionally he'll go, I really feel like making that.

And I go, yum. Great. And then you just go, I'm going to go take the dog for a walk and then just go to get a sneaky cheesy from McD's around the corner. I'm like, oh, not much for me tonight. Yeah. Or I go, oh, a bit of a crook Tom. The other thing is Chinese takeaway.

I like really like dumplings and stuff, but I don't like, you know, like beef and black bean and stuff like that. It's just not for me. I just don't like it. And my mum used to love it as well, and she used to get it. And if she got that, I got to have Maccas. Yeah, right. So that was the trade-off.

Gone, oh, it's a cheeky night for the girls. You get your Chinese, I'll get my Maccas. Yes. Okay. Yeah, and so now Torbs and I still do that. So every year on my birthday, Torbs orders Chinese and I get Maccas to celebrate my mum's birthday. Yeah.

That's beautiful. Thank you. So, well, it's interesting because a lot of, you know, food comes from like our parents and stuff. One thing I remember about staying at grandma and grandpa's house, because I used to stay there all the time when I was real little. Yeah. And I used to say this when I was like three years old

and everyone used to think it was hilarious because mum once said, oh, what did grandma and grandpa have for breakfast? And I said, tea, toast and tablets. Oh. Because you know old people, they're just like cranking. Oh, they're fucking popping drugs. Blood pressure, vitamins, this, this, this. And they've always got those like tackle boxes filled with stuff. Oh, they're fucking popping drugs. Blood pressure, vitamins, this, this, this.

And they've always got those like tackle boxes filled with stuff. Well, they used to bring out this huge. Yeah, and they'd have a massive M on it for Monday and you'd have to take all it. And it was like you'd need a degree to figure it all out. Tea, toast and tablets. Tea, toast and tablets. That's adorable. You've had a cup of tea at my place, right?

Yeah. I love an Earl Grey. That's our go-to in the house. Yeah. And that's because Grandma and Grandpa used to have Earl Grey. And so when I go over there, it's like, what are we doing? Oh, tea, toast and tablets. But it's like we'd have an Earl Grey.

And now for the rest of my life, I've been an Earl Grey guy. Yeah, that's really nice. So during COVID, my Grandpa passed away. Very sad. So the family, you know, we go and check in on grandma, see how she's doing, go say goodnight. And you're really close with your grandma as well. Well, it's because I spend so much time with her when I was little.

And then grandma goes, oh, do you want a cup of tea? Because I was around there checking in on her the other day. And for the 1,000th time in my life, I was like, yes, I'd love a cup of tea. All great for me. Thanks, grandma. Yeah. And I said, oh, I don my life, I was like, yes, I'd love a cup of tea. Earl Grey for me, thanks, Grandma. Yeah. And I said, oh, I don't know if you know this, Grandma, but the reason I love Earl Grey is because that's what you and Grandpa used to give to me when I was, you know,

really, really little. Yeah. Like, you're the reason I have Earl Grey. And that, like, the smell of it and everything, it just, like, reminds you of her. Yeah. And Grandma goes, yeah, never really liked it. But your grandpa loved it.

So for the 60 years we were married, I just went along with it and had Earl Grey every day because I knew he loved it and I loved him. Aww. I'm not being funny and I don't want to ruin this beautiful moment, but when he died, was she like, fuck, thank God I can have an English breakfast? Then she says, I miss him dearly, but I'm loving this Lipton's English breakfast. Tony Lodge.

How does she do it? Is this Tony and Ryan or Nostradamus? That is really like still a lovely, very lovely story. So did you have an English breakfast when you were with her? Well, I did because the fucking old duck's out of Earl Grey. Yeah. I like an English breakfast, me. Do you?

So when you come around and I offer you an Earl Grey, do you, like grandma, go, oh, I know this makes you happy. I had fucking paella last night. And we're having Chinese tonight. For fucking lunch. I guess I will have an Earl Grey. Yeah, make it the trifecta of shit that I don't like. Paella, Earl Grey, Chinese and post offices.

The quadrilla of fucking me off. Throw enough to go and get fuel as well and fucking make it a real party. Parking my car in public and being late for shit. And my phone almost being flat. Hey, it's Renee from Melbourne, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon, Jamie Brimya, Albin Adel and Cody Herrick. Thank you so much.

And if you're watching, there's a few names scrolling along the bottom of our Patreon as well. That's tapas of all levels across the bottom. Yes, they love to see it. Anyway, okay. So last week I went to Sydney to be a very fancy author. Yep. Have you written a book? I have written a book.

Oh, fuck. When's it coming out? Next week? No, it's soon. Oh, fuck it. Mate, don't assume. It's February 28th in all the bookstores, some of the shit ones, and you can get it online at Booktopia or Book Depository all over the world.

That's beautiful. Yeah. That's lovely. I'm practicing. All of the links are, like, in our bio and stuff if you want to check it out. But we have so much travel on at the moment. So because of the book, I had to – so I went to Sydney last week and I signed 3,028 books.

How was that? Insane. It was insane. Like did you have a sore hand? Like did you actually have a sore hand? It was so painful. Yeah. So it was like all like my forearms because from like the repetitiveness

of the holding the book open, signing it, and then moving it on. And, you know, we hold a pen and it kind of rests on, like, between your – and it kind of rests. For those watching on the video show, Tony is seemingly demonstrating how to finger someone. But, you know, when you're holding a pen and it kind of – Your name's done. Huh?

Yeah, last week. You look great. Thank you. Thank you so much. Now put them down and stop fingering. Sorry. Anyway, yeah, it was actually quite painful, but it was really good. They said that I was like the fastest signer they'd ever had.

They'd never said that to anyone. No. So it was pretty impressive. Anyway, so we are travelling heaps and I'm not a very good traveller because I just like being at home. I like being in my own bed. I like having Pippi at home with me, like being with Torbs, everything. And when you're at home, you don't have a hard deadline of when a gate opens or when

doors close or what time you're supposed to arrive. The news on TV at home doesn't get delayed by some weather event. It's on at six. You know that everything's just on. It's got its place. You know where everything is. I'm the same. And we were talking about this off air, like just to each other, that when you and I travel, we can just book it. So we go, oh, we need to do something, literally, you and I just book it because it's just the two of us, right, that ever need to get anywhere. And if something randomly happens, like you had to go to Brisbane

last night to watch a movie because someone may or may not have fucking booked it. Fuck it up. Fuck it up. We can just book it, right? But because I was going for a book trip with my publishing house, they booked everything for me. And it was kind of like it was a lot of back and forth,

but it was also like, ooh, I'm a fancy girl. They're booking everything for me. And they're like, ooh, Miss Lodge, this will be it this time and someone will come and pick you up here and whatever. And that sounds great. But as someone who likes to know exactly where I'm going, likes everything to be just so, I'd actually rather take care of it myself, you know?

So one thing I learned early about you is that when I go, oh, don't worry about it, it's all taken care of, you will worry about it because you need to know. In my head, that's a question mark. Yeah, it's not a full stop. It's not a tick, it's a question mark. And so when they go, oh, Tony, we've organized everything. You don't need to worry about it.

That's not how you make Tony relax. No, it isn't. You send a 57-page document with a minute-by-minute playbook. Yes, and also it's the same as like if you say to me, this is organized. I've got X, Y, and Z. That's a tick. Yeah. But you going, it's taken care of is just nothing to me.

I'm like, that's still tick. But you going, it's taken care of is just nothing to me. I'm like, that's still like unfinished. Anyway, so I was supposed to be flying up to Sydney and they had all this really bad, crazy weather. It was really humid and really fucked and whatever. So my flight out of Melbourne got delayed probably three or four times. And then when I finally got on the plane, they were like, oh my God, it's going to be delayed again. So it's just a fucking whole thing. They got on the plane. They were like, oh, my God, it's going to be delayed again. So it's just a fucking whole thing.

So I had dinner planned. So I flew out Thursday afternoon and I was supposed to meet all the people from my publishing and publicity team from Allen & Unwin for my book for dinner at 7. They pushed our plane back, pushed our plane back, pushed our plane back. All of a sudden I'm meeting them for dinner at 8 p.m. And I had to go straight from the airport to dinner i get off the plane in sydney it's humid as fuck my hair is huge you've been

stressing all day i've been sitting in the fucking airport for three hours trying to fucking get around like such a pain in the ass anyway and i'm like cool i'm gonna meet them for dinner and i was really excited to meet everybody because i hadn't met them in person there's people that you've probably spoke to on email and Zoom and fucking whatever but you never actually got to. But I hadn't sat down with them and so I fucking, I trotted off to dinner. I got a taxi straight there.

I've got my luggage. I'm steamed from the day. Like I'm just fucked and it's so fucking hot and we're sitting in this restaurant. It's one of those cool like lofty, warehousey restaurants. And you know what warehouse slash lofty equals no air con because the roofs are so high right yeah so there's no fucking air con it's fucking boiling we're sitting there and as soon as i saw them i was like oh my god so great to see you we ate all this delicious food we were

drinking cocktails and whatever but because i didn't meet them until so late, we didn't finish dinner until like 11 o'clock. I go to bed at like 9.30 or 10. Right. So it's a big girls' night out on a weeknight. It's a girls' night out. And how much do you drink? Because you're also not a massive drinker. I probably had three cocktails.

Fuck. So when Tony has, I'm going to say, two-thirds to three-quarters of a cocktail, any ones. Yeah, half of one. I'm like, my legs get hot. A sniff of gin? Yep. Fucking take me home.

Yeah. So I'm eating and I'm drinking and being fabulous, whatever, and I was like, fuck, it's like 11 o'clock. I've got to get back to the hotel because we've got a massive day tomorrow. I've got to sign fucking 3,000 books. Anyway, so they book me an Uber and they pop me in the thing and I go back to the hotel. I walk into the hotel and there's one person working on reception

but like five people waiting to check in. At 11 at night? At 11pm. So I don't know whether. Where have the rest of you, where have you guys been all day? Probably doing the same as me. Got delayed in their flights. You also would have been in a restaurant drinking booze.

Yeah. Oh, I saw you guys at the table next to us. We should have shared a cab. Now, after a long, stressful day and some cocktails, are you a bit like slurring your voice or are you more like agitated and a bit anxious and a bit like get this done? Or are you chatting to other people like, hey, man, how you fucking going?

I'm fucking published off. I'm going to sign 3,000 books tomorrow. What are you doing in town? I'm kind of like fast game's a good game. Like I just kind of wanted to get in. I've had enough of today? Yeah, I was just a bit over it. I was really tired.

And anyway, so I'm standing in this line for probably 15 minutes because you know everyone's got a different issue, right? You know what I mean. Has the email come through from the booking whatif.com? Yes. Oh, I ordered this room. Oh, it's XYZ, but you've got ZYX. Like, what's the problem?

Yeah, 100%. And then everybody goes, oh, any chance of an upgrade? You know, everyone's trying to do the same sly thing. And they have to do the speech. Yep, so on the third floor is the restaurant. And if you go through here. Yes. The lifts are to the right.

And fucking, yeah. Press nine for this. If you need any ice, it's on the fucking this, on the whatever. Anyway, and I get to the front of the line finally. I fucking like my hair is massive. Like it's so fucking humid. And he goes, what name's the reservation over under? And I go, Tony Lodge.

And he goes, hmm, nothing under Lodge. And I was like, oh, it might be. Felicia? It might be under blah from the publishing house. And he goes, mm-mm. And I go, Alan and Unwin? Mm-mm. And I go, oh, another name?

And he goes, mm-mm. And I was like, fuck. And he goes, do you have your booking reference? Do you have a receipt? Yeah. What is this, the post office? He goes, do you have your booking reference? I was like, oh, yeah yeah i've got the email here i opened the email and realized immediately that my hotel had been

booked for the thursday before not the thursday that i was there but the week before yeah so it was supposed to be like the 9th of feb and it was booked for the 7th or the 2nd or something. Oh, my God. Right? It's fucking 20 past 11. I'm full of food. I'm full of booze. You've got a half-throat. My hair's huge. It's grown 15 more centimetres in the line. And I'm standing there and I was like, you're fucking kidding me. Like, I'm so tired.

Is it like a deflated, depleted, or are you like, fuck, what the fuck? Like, are you starting to panic? Well, I'm kind of like, what am I going to do? Am I sleeping on the street tonight? Yeah. And so I was like, oh, can I just pay for a room or give you my card and they can deal with it in the morning? I don't want to be in a bed in six minutes.

Literally. Tell me what you require. Do they have a spare room? He goes, oh, we actually might not have any rooms available. And I was like, okay, let me call the publisher. Like let me call my work and see what the goal is. And he goes, I'm really sorry, but like. There's people in the line.

There's people in the line. I'm going to have to ask you to move to the site. Like do not take a phone call here. And I was like, okay. So I step out of the line and turn around and realise there's like another five people behind me. And they're cleaning out all those rooms you want. Yeah, exactly right. So I move to the side.

I call them. They're like, oh, my God, I'm so, so sorry. Like what can we do, blah, blah, blah. And because I'm starting to get like a little bit anxious and a little bit stressy. You're flustered. I'm like sobered up but like I start to get a bit of a tummy ache. Oh, no. Because I've eaten all this food. I've travelled. I'll be get a bit of a tummy ache. Oh, no.

Because I've eaten all this food. I've travelled. I'll be the same. A bit of stress, all that stuff. Yeah, just all that stuff combined. It's late at night. I was just fucking, I was ready to fucking go to bed and do some other stuff.

Anyway. Oh, no. So I joined back to the end of the line. They go, oh, we'll do a charge back form. Just get to the front of the line. Just talk to them again.'ll do a chargeback form. Just get to the front of the line. Just talk to them again. I was like, I'm going to have to wait in the line again. So you went back and lined up again?

I had to line up again. Did you have to? Or was that polite, Tony? Well, nobody went like, come back. Oh, yeah, that's all on them. You know, no one went, oh, sorry, this woman has been in the line already, you know. Did you loiter near the front? I did for a minute and they just didn't.

They made eye contact with me but then didn't say anything. So I was like, cool, I'll just go back to that. I feel like that's on the guy to kind of go, oh, how'd you go? Yeah. So you've lined up for another 10, 15. So I joined the line again, right? But by this time it's like 11.40 and the guy that I'd spoken to has gone on dinner or finished his shift.

Oh, fuck me. Right? Yeah. So then I've got to explain. The night shift has come on. Let me tell you you as a former night shift worker at a hotel they're not the brightest bunch that's where they go fuck this guy's a bit of a liability let's chuck him on the night shift because they probably only have to deal

with like 10 people instead of like 50 yeah i did night shift i didn't speak to a single person oh fuck well this guy had to deal with me but i had to but i had to re-explain the whole situation and so he goes no I can't find it. Literally. And then I'm like, okay, so the person from my work is just called. What's going on? Can you just give me a key to a room so that I can go and shit myself and have a shower?

I just need you to fucking give me a room. Anyway, he goes, oh, not sure what we have. Scrolls for what feels like fucking 45 minutes. He goes, okay, here's your key, blah, blah, blah. I walk upstairs, open the door. I'm just so fucking thankful. But it's a room with a single bed in it. What's that?

I was like, they make single beds still? Yeah, that's fucking, I never thought that would exist. But in a hotel, who, like, who books a room with two seats? Like, so random. So it was just one single bed. Sorry, it was two single beds. Oh, okay, righto. But like, so weird.

Anyway, but I was like, you know what? It's fucking almost midnight. Who the fuck cares? I'm just sleeping here. And I was waking up early the next morning for work anyway. As long as there's a toilet and a shower, like, who fucking cares? I throw all my stuff on the bed, rip my dress off and take care of my rich food and travel tummy.

I'm just glad that you made it to the room because I was getting nervous about that hotel for you, to be honest. And I like go to the toilet and I'm naked, right, because it's fucking hot as fuck and I'm cranked the air con up. My shit is everywhere just because I came in. I mean, you've got your clothes. Literally. Yeah, not my actual shit. And. Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah.

Not my actual shit. And then my phone rings and it's the publisher. And she goes, oh, my God, is everything okay? I've just spoken to the hotel. And she goes, oh, we paid for a king room. Is that what you got? And I was like, oh, it's two single beds, but it, like, is totally fine because I'm just sleeping here and I want to go to bed literally right now.

It's fine. And she goes, oh, my God, no, I'll call them. I'm so sorry. And then a matter of minutes later, reception, she obviously calls reception and then calls me and then she goes, they do have a king bed available. And I was like, honestly, it's really fine. She's like, nope, they're already on their way up to help you with your luggage and to walk you to the new room.

And we are. She goes, don't touch anything. Yeah, yeah. Because they're shit. Yeah. Because I want to resell that one. And what did you do when you walked in? Threw my shit everywhere, ripped my dress off, destroyed the toilet.

I realise I'm that. How well ventilated was the room? Not great. Hotel rooms don't open, do they? No. So is it, okay, what am I trying to ask you without being too graphic? If someone walks in. Yep.

You know. I can't smell at the moment because of my long COVID and I could smell it. Was the air, would you describe the air as thick? You could see it in the air. And I realised, though, that I'm naked. It stings. And my shit's, because I ran upstairs and, like, ripped everything off because I was in a rush.

Like, there was a pressing fucking. It's like your suitcase spontaneously just burst open. And so I'm, like, doing the maths in my head and starting to panic about like, oh, my God, that's happened. I need to be dressed. My shit's over there. Like I'm just like instantly my head is just exploding with new information.

And then like there's a knock on the door. I'm so mortified. Miss Lodge. Yeah. Oh, we're here to move your rooms. Like we're so sorry for all the inconvenience. And I'm like just mortified. Miss Lodge? Yeah. Oh, we're here to move your rooms. Like, we're so sorry for all the inconvenience. And I'm, like, just mortified. And the guy comes in and, like.

Hey, when he comes in, what are you wearing when he comes in? So I, like, slipped my dress back on. And, like, grabbed my, shoved everything into my handbag and just, like, kind of ran out of the thing with him. But he was, I grabbed the key to give it. And he goes, oh, no, no, no. Like I'll come back and grab it. No, please no. And I was like, I could give it to you now.

It's fine. Yeah. But she's like, so don't touch anything because like obviously. So I'm just like mortified. And by the time they finally fucking moved me and the guy that came and got my bag is like this bitch again. Like it seemed like I had been just the biggest fucking pain in the ass. Yeah, you've called the publisher and been like,

can you fucking tell these guys at the hotel this isn't fucking good enough? Who makes a single bed anymore? And so I just felt like the biggest asshole and then I had literally like destroyed the room in the five minutes that I'd been in there. Because the line was always big at the front, do you reckon someone else checked into that room like five minutes later? Well, I think so. But also because they were like, we don't really,

I don't think we have any rooms. And I was like, well, you have at least two. Yeah. Because you put me in the single bed room and now you put me in a king room. But anyway, so it was just, it was so embarrassing. Like, and I don't really embarrass very easily. Like, I can laugh most things off but that was like that was fucking specialist um is it fair to say so how scared are you of

the situation in terms of would you ever go back to that hotel um like would you want to show your face i probably wouldn't go back to the hotel because of what happened yeah that's what i mean yeah but not even the poo that like actually just the fact that, well, we don't have any rooms. I was like, I'm literally willing to pay for it. But then also, yeah, if someone recognised me, they're probably like, again, there's a photo of me. Mad shitter. But it says, so rude, only sleeps in a king bed.

Total bitch. Very high maintenance. Very high maintenance. Very high maintenance. The highest of maintenance. It was so fucking embarrassing. So we had this machine because I worked in a lot of hotels when I was in college and whatever. Yeah.

And if people were smoking darts in the room, we had this machine that kind of like churned the air over. Oh, they hopefully still have. I reckon they probably went, oh, Carl, look at the smoke machine. Oh, someone's smoking. No, but there's a smoky hue in the air. Yeah, we're going to need it. Yeah.

I felt literally the second. Someone stayed in that room. The second that she goes, like, so don't touch anything, it was like the Matrix. Like everything just went slow and, like, the world moved, but I stayed still. Like it was just such an intense, like, the world moved, but I stayed still. Like, it was just such an intense, like, whoa. Like, it was like fucking Inception.

Like, it slowed right down. It was honestly just like you cannot write that shit. You know what I mean? Well, I couldn't because I'm not an author. Now, bring us back, Tony. What have you got to leave? You'll have to say it. Let's not finish on that musky note.

Yeah, let's do whatever we can to get away from that. My you'll love to see it is Erica Clay. She shared this in our Facebook group. She said, my you'll love to see it is also a you'll love to hear it. In my language, tapa means vagina. I saw this. So every time you say tapas, so Tony and Ryan podcast-ers, listeners. Tuppers.

I get a giggle out of it. Please say tupper and tupper out loud for fun time's sake because it sounds the same to me. Do we know where she's from yet? I don't know. I mean, we could probably Google tupper equal vagina and try and figure it out. Where does tupper mean vagina? try and figure it out. Where does Tupper mean vagina?

Maybe that will come up. No, it's just telling me stories about a guy named Rob. Oh, no, this is from Erica, so not the same person. But anyway, I love to see that. I thought that was really funny. And turns out, just as we suspected, there's a bunch of c**ks listening. Which I just love which i just love i just love no okay franco beat that out i was so proud of that guys i literally have it written down. Oh, what?

What? It's good. What? I've got to love to see it. What? No, it was quite clever. Explain yourself. It was quite clever.

I thought it was really funny. It was. Thanks for sharing that, Eric. I don't actually understand word-based jokes. What was the saying that you told me yesterday? I can't even remember. Yeah. It all comes across.

Word-based comedy. Yeah. My love to see it is Earl Grey tea. Fuck what Grandma reckons. That shit hits right. And I'm going to continue drinking it, whatever she, I don't care what she thinks. In your granddad's honour. Yeah.

Yeah. That makes it sound nicer than you being like, yeah, fuck my grandma. She's wrong. Well, she is wrong. But that's what I love to see. Beautiful. A classic Earl Grey. Beautiful.

Because that's what my grandpa liked. Yeah. Obviously, that was what my grandparents liked. Yeah. That's what my grandpa liked. The tea, tablets and toast. Rest in peace, granddad. Tea, tablets and toast.

What did I say? What did you say? I can't remember what I said. Tea, toast and.... Rest in peace, granddad. Tea, tablets and toast. What did I say? What did you say? I can't remember. Tea, toast and... Anyway. Too many teas. Sorry, I feel like it's really taken a nice dive. I just thought that my joke was really funny.

Anyway, we're back on Monday, of course. People who listen to our show, who changed our lives for the better, who are great contributors to the community, and you calling them a bunch of... What do you think that was? Except because I meant it in like a fun... Yeah. Like my mates. Yeah. Oh, that bunch of... What do you think that was? Except because I meant it in like a fun... Yeah. Like my mates.

Yeah. Oh, that bunch of... Yeah. You know. Yeah. I meant it in a... Obviously, I meant it in a loving way. I hope so.

Obviously, I meant that in a loving... Don't do this to me. Don't yell at me. Please don't yell at me. Obviously, that's what I meant. Do I have to shit in your hotel room? I was going to say... Well...

We have a few trips coming up, so we'll continue to get separate rooms. Yeah. Well, I think that was a given. I don't think we're going to share a room. Fake odds, right? Do you know what would be funny if we got one of those rooms? With a door?

Yeah, like an adjoining room. Are they a thing? I've seen them on the TV. I think so. Yeah, we could get one of those. In the White Lotus. I would, like, wait, like, throw it up and be like, hello, like in the morning.

Maybe they don't exist anymore. Okay, let's not ask them. We're back on Monday. I've got a great, wholesome story and we're going to talk about, well, Ryan, you're calling me out on something. A change needs to be made. Yeah. Yeah.

Yep. I think it's time to talk about who's Tony's real friends are. And more importantly, who they're not. Who aren't Tony's friends. More words on Monday. Love you, bye.