Toni and Ryan - That's Not My Goat

Episode Date: May 6, 2025

I ruined Ryan's song and I'M SORRRRYYYYY love u xoxoxCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Their support team is actually helpful. And they're 100% online, so you'll never be put on hold. You can message them from your couch, from your butt groove or the bathtub anywhere. No judgment, they'll fix it for you. From the bath, that's all right. That's a bit of me. Try Oxio for 60 days and if it doesn't feel like home, they'll give you all your money back. All of it, literally every cent. Yep. Head to Oxio.ca. So O-X-I-O.C-A and use the code TARP, T-A-R-P, and get one month free. Hello and welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name's Tony, this is Ryan, and we start every single episode with a TARP or approval.

Yep, and today we are speaking to Katrina, who is from Croatia. Congratulations on being the first ever Croatian approver. We think. We think. I'm so excited, guys. Croatian approver. We think. We think. I'm so excited guys. Now what feels right is that we have won Croatian on our podcast after we've sent 50,000 of us most lunatic party as Australians to Croatia.

I feel like this is a nice exchange. Sorry about that Katrina. Do Australians give themselves like a good name when they come to Croatia? I feel like that's where they go to be an idiot. Uh, well, I'm pretty sure most of the guys from there come to party here. Yeah. Are known for that.

Uh, like as a good place to party. But I would say that, uh, all these seem very chill. That's what I'm going to say. Oh, that's nice. That's nice. And very friendly. That's amazing. So I actually enjoy communicating with them.

So I actually work at the airport as border police officer. So honestly, it's always a pleasure. Have you ever been on border security? The world's greatest TV show? No. So you've never met Coke Shoes Karen? Border Security? The world's greatest TV show? Uh, no. So you've never met Coke Shoes Karen? You don't have to answer that for legal purposes.

Legal reasons you probably can't answer. If you're new to the show, Border Security is one of Tony and I's favourite TV shows. Favourite shows. So, um, Katrine, we'll take this offline and get the real, the real goss. Well, I love it, but- Did you just say you love the show? Oh yeah. It's actually

popular. Is it, is it for you though? Is it a bit like bringing work home with me? You're like, Oh God, I can see from a mile away, there's fresh fish in that bag. You know? Yeah. That's good. That's fucking good. It's like Tony can't watch comedies at home because she's so funny. Because I just go, oh, God, I could have done so much better than that. Yeah. It's great to hear that border security is popular in Croatia. Australian border security. Popping overseas. I love it.

Oh, yeah. I love that. That is a beautiful patriotic day. Yeah. Huge for us. Will you approve today's podcast? I would fucking love to, you guys. Yeah, I didn't know they had that word in Croatia. Yeah, I fucking love that. Yeah.

Hi, it's Katarina from Split Croatia, and I approve this podcast. Welcome to the show. We've got a new segment that's called, That's Not My Job. That's not my job. That's not my job. That's not my job. What have you had to do at your job that is absolutely not in your job description? That was posted in our group by Brenda. Hi Brenda.

She works at- Sophie's Physio? Yeah. Oh, Brenda. I knew that name was familiar. Yeah, it's Sophie's Physio. Must be a different one. Is that the one that did the massages?

Yeah. She was good. I work in a library and most people think- This is not the same. Most people think the libraries are calm and clean, but no. I've twice had to pick up human feces, three times had to deal with urine, and once deal with vomit.

And only one of those bodily products was from a child. Remember when that woman shit in the bakery section at Coles when I worked there? She did diarrhea amongst the bread. I love books, but anyone who works at a library will tell you libraries are fucked. Has anyone else had to do something as part of their job that's not part of their job? Molly Clements. Hi Molly.

Working as a veterinary nurse, I once had to go to the local adult shop to buy a vibrator so we could vibrate a sea turtle to break up an intestinal sand impaction. How likely story. so we could vibrate a sea turtle to break up an intestinal sand impaction. A likely story. The person working in the sex shop is like, hey bro, we're sex positive here. I don't give a fuck dude. You don't have to tell us a story about your sea turtle, okay? We all laughed back at the practice, but I wasn't laughing when trying to explain to my accountant why I was claiming a massive vibrator as a work-related tax deduction. Everyone look up vibrating reptiles, it's real, please look it up.

Vibrating Reptiles, food dish. I don't know about that. Vibrating Lizard on Reddit. Is that what I'm looking at? I guess so. I don't know about that. When I worked in theatre, in musical theatre, to put like, because people would be wearing like body microphones and the pack would be on them, but they would be so sweaty because they're like running around and dancing and under the lights and stuff. So you used to have to put their microphone packs into un-lubricated condoms. And there is something so masochistic about going to a chemist and being like, how many un-lubricated condoms do you have? Because I need all of them.

I need some really wide un-lubricated condoms, please. Yeah. Extra large un-lubricated condom. All got some lube ones? No. No, because that would fuck the thing. So they had to be un-lubricated. Now, do you go to explain or do you just look them in the eye and go, no? Well, because I was about 21 or something. I was young, so I was probably like, I'm a dad, that's right, that's right. I'd be like that now. Yeah, so true. That's why you got a baby. Too nervous to ask your condom, so you're

like, you know what, let's just have a kid. Let's just do it. Now I'm calling this person anonymous. This may have been what I was gonna do as a confession yesterday. Amazing. I've taken their name out because I think it's still happening and I don't know, that's for their safety. Oh, okay.

My boss is having multiple affairs, so part of my job is lying to his wife. I wish his side hoes were all named a meeting so then I technically wouldn't be lying when I say he's in a meeting right now. I also pay the bills of the mistresses with the company credit card. That's his way of like, you know, funneling the sugar babies some cashola without it like... Well coming from his account and then his actual wife's not like, oh where's all that? What power bill was that? Yeah.

Oh shit. And they're just like in admin, you know, like working for this place and, oh can you just tell my wife this? That is so fucked up. That is so fucked up. Oh my God. That's, that's fucked. Do you reckon they're in a, not that I would like recommend this or assume that the person would do this.

Here we go. Considering what anonymous tarpa knows, do you reckon they're in a pretty strong position to ask for a pay rise? Ooh, I didn't even think about that. This guy's cashed up, he's willing to pay to keep shit under cover, and you know what? I'll take a slice.

I'm helping you do this. I'd hate to accidentally mention it to your wife one time. Just, you know. That's so brave, but I don't think I would do it. Inflation by 7%. Yes. You know. You're like, oh, seeing as I'm just so brave, but I don't think I would do it. Yes. You know, you're like, oh, seeing as I'm taking on all that extra responsibility, the responsibility of not letting your wife know. Fuck that is so, I don't,

I actually don't think I could work with someone if I knew that they were cheating on their part, like that, cause that I, I wouldn't be able to deal with that. I don't think you wouldn't pay the bills of my mistresses. Absolutely not. I pay't think. You wouldn't pay the bills of my mistresses? Absolutely not. I pay my own bills though. Just so you know, I would take the blackmail. Oh my, what are you saying about Ryan? Joan.

Hi Joan. Joan is a carpenter. The owner of the house said before you start today can you help me get that goat off the roof? A goat on the roof? It had gotten out of the barn and mountaineered itself up the scaffolding and there's just a goat trotting around on the roof of this house that should be employed to like fix or something. Can I just say that our show has just gotten so far off the rails in general but also just there that I assumed goat on the roof was like some euphemism and was some like dirty sex maneuver like oh before you get started you wouldn't help me with a goat on the roof. You don't know a bloke with a goat on the roof do you? Maybe Joan thought that and she like starts railing someone they go

all after this can you still get that goat? Could you help me with the goat? And she's like, again? Go again? I'm just doing it right now. What do you think this is? So this is what Joan said about the goat. That little fucker didn't want to come down,

but seemed to love being chased. I'm not sure who had the best time, me, my coworker, or the goat. Oh. Eee, eee, eee, eee, eee. Because you are good at goat noises, I thought we could- You've made me goat noise before.

So I don't know what that means. Charles Payo bills. You made me bleed. You know the old Taylor Swift with the goat thing? Yes. You don't like that, do you? You don't like it? It's fine.

I'll allow it. Why don't you like it? Well, you know, because I'm now a Swiftie. I'm not wearing my Taylor Swift hat. A Swiftie is not. Do they hate goats? Oh yeah, fucking hell. Nah, nah, but yeah, remember the thing.

That was so, like that was a meme before memes were really a thing. Am I like being a boomerang? Yeah. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, remember the thing. That was so, like that was a meme before memes were really a thing. Oh, am I like being a boomer bringing it up though?

Nah. Cause I want to sing the song, but I've changed it. They just played it on sunrise the other day for something. Oh, then it is old. Does that, yeah. Yeah. We could do it. But the, I love it.

Ah! There's a goat on the motherfucking roof. You didn't do it. What song is that? Is that a real song? I've changed the words to suit the story and then you do the same. That's the same song. Talk about hanging out to dry.

No, sorry. Hang on. Is it? Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground. Talk about hanging out to dry. Nah, sorry. Hang on. Is it? Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground. Sing what you just sang. There's a goat on the motherfucking roof. Oh! Sorry. It's so good. Oh, I didn't hear it.

You're like, that's not the lyrics. Yes. Yeah, so the thing about changing them. The thing about the parody. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm actually, I'll fully cop that them. The thing about the parody. Yeah. Nah, I'm actually, I'll fully cop that. That was on me.

Obviously. I won't. Should we do it again? No. Do it again. No, no, no, because we got it now. We got it now. There's a goat on the motherfucking roof.

Goat on the roof. Goat on the roof. Goat on the roof! Go on the roof! Go on the roof! Go on the roof! It's the way your face is moving! Because you have to go fast! Should we do it again? No, I think we're...

I am pro go- For someone who was, yeah, we've both changed teams Yeah, come back around, come back around Hi, it's Katarina from Split Croatia and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. This episode is brought to you by our friends at Aura Frames. And Ryan, do you happen to know maybe someone, Someone.

Not adding anybody, but that maybe takes a million photos of maybe, you know, the cutest little girl in the world. And their camera roll is just overflowing with pictures you don't know what to do with. There is smoke coming out of my phone because of their 10 million photos I have of Mabel struggling to fit in my phone. I meant the prettiest little girl ever. I obviously meant my phone. And my co-worker Tony Lodge. Because filled with the prettiest little girl in the world, my little Frenchie Pippa. I thought you meant you. I actually thought you meant you. Always selfies. Look if you're someone that takes lots of photos and they're just sitting in your phone doing nothing yeah this is for you. Yes Aura frames is so good and it

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Nothing. Nothing. Apart from my ability to take pictures of Pippa and Mabel together. You just use the free Aura app, connect to wifi and boom, photos from your last holiday, your dog, Mabel, all the things we're talking about, can all live in the one frame.

Now Aura's got a great deal for tarpers. You can save on the perfect gift by visiting AuraFrames.com to get $45 off plus free shipping on their best-selling Carver Mat Frame. That's AuraFrames.com. Use promo code TONYANDRYAN, T-O-N-I-A-N-D-R-Y-A-N. Terms and conditions apply. This episode is brought to you by Madure and Majuri has the nicest fine jewelry.

It's perfect for stacking and wearing every day and you can like play around with different styles, mix different colors and metals and stack different combos. So there's really something for everyone. And can I tell you a cute little personal note? Please. You know these gold earrings that I wear? They're Majuri. Oh.

And they were like the first bit of jewelry I ever bought myself. Yeah. Would you say that was the gateway? That was your first like, oh, I think I they're Majuri. And they were like the first bit of jewellery I ever bought myself. Yeah. Would you say that was the gateway? That was your first like, oh, I think I'm a jewellery person now. Yes, I'm a Majuri person now. Yeah. Oh, put that on the front cover of, it's not a book, of this audio ad. The products are beautifully designed and have a minimal but fun vibe,

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So they're doing good while helping us look good. Epic. Pretty good. Love it. Play, mix and stack in store in app or on madury.com. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas on this beautiful hump day. Can I get a hump hump? Beckels, good on you Beckels and a banana.

That's not how the song goes. Sorry. No, that was my fuck up. I deserve that. Mara Wick, good on you Mara. Siobhan Green, Seneca Taylor and Lance. Thank you very much for being part of the Patreon. Fuckin' love to see it. And just what a great day to be, have a great day.

Thanks everyone who voted for us in the webbies. Literally couldn't do it without you. And as a thank you, Tony has declared she's turning one on next week. And I think we're not getting into time zone chat, but I'm pretty sure next Wednesday's episode. So this episode next week will be recorded as soon as we get back to the hotel after the Webby. So fucking look out.

In whatever state. Yeah. At New York. That's funny. Thank you. So I've had a, sorry, I'm just imagining the podcast being like, so we just got back from the way we eat. Like that, like, cause we're going to have been like yelling and I'll be sounding like a goat. So throw my bed out the window of the hotel. What a great time. Or do we use Charles's card?

If so, do whatever the fuck you want. Yeah, no. So I've had a not like a full cold, but you know, a bit of sniffles. Winter's coming in. Yep. And I got these cold and flu tablets and I didn't realise what it was until Tony pointed out they weren't like sugar coated. They're not coated.

And so I'm like tasting that. Have you just realised what sugarcoated means? When you sugarcoat something like it's easier to swallow. Like if I said, like, I'm going to sugarcoat this. You're the one that told me when I was struggling to take these chalky tablets, you go, cause they're not sugarcoated. No, so I know literally why that's got,

but like, you know, when you're telling someone bad news and you go, I'm not going to, I'm not gonna I'm gonna sugarcoat this so it's like Yeah, a bit easier that I've just never Thought about the phrase before I love working here That's actually really nice. I love it too. Yeah, cuz you know you're sick. Don't touch me. You're just yeah No, he's sick I'll just touch my like the most exciting thing about living with my daughter Mabel is seeing like a beautiful little person like learn how to do stuff and coming to work and seeing a cute little person

get to learn how words mean is just to see it in real time. That's nice. Like the day you discovered what a laptop was. Yeah. Or brunch. Or brunch with breakfast and lunch. Yeah. Yeah. Because it goes on top of your lunch. Or brunch. It's breakfast and lunch. Yeah.

Yeah. It's just like, it's beautiful. I'm a beautiful young woman. You are. Yeah. But sometimes I come out with knowledge such as this. Yeah, and so I've got these Cold and Flu. And you can taste the chalkiness.

And they're really, they're big. They're big. It's a horse tablet. They're slapping either side of the esophagus on the way down. And fucking call those tablets Ryan, John. You know what I'm saying? Call those tablets Ryan John and Tony Lodge after the webbies. But I actually after taking them was like because they're so chalk and they hit and they just like. The taste is disgusting. But I tell you is there anything more stressful than taking the tablet and trying to gulp it down and

you don't get it. It doesn't get stuck. And it's just stuck in your work. That's actually, that's quite upsetting to think about. It is. Yeah. I don't think people listening are gonna like that. Okay.

Sorry. I've been in that situation a few times in the last 24 hours. Yeah. And, um. Sometimes you just can't swallow. Yeah. You just gotta. Spit it out.

I prefer to swallow. Just finish on me. Yeah. You just got to spit it out. I prefer to swallow. Just finish on me. Yeah. Um, that was hot. So I said, oh, grow up. I said to my, my friend, Cam Blewett growing up, he did what? That's his name. Cam Blewett. Yeah. Did you spit or swallow? Can Blewer? Yeah. Did he spit or swallow? He could only have tablets if they were covered in honey. Yeah. And so I played volleyball with this guy and so sometimes you know it's the end of the third set you're a bit sore and like oh we need like a Panadol to help get through and you're like oh. Does anyone have any honey? Yeah, does anyone have a little jar? And because he knew what he was doing, like you know someone's having a gate raid, someone's having a lolly, but he's sugar in them and then

Cam's like got a little spoonful of honey and a thing and you go, what the fuck's going on? And Mary Poppins walks over and she goes, a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down. I actually saw Cam the other week, but it was better because then Charles is more embarrassing than Cam. Well, so I didn't think it got worse than that.

Well, I mean, I started saying about how Pippa with her, cause she was at the vet. Yeah. How we roll her tablet in peanut butter and then she takes it. That's hilarious. Yeah. Still not as embarrassing as Charles.

Oh. No, this was, it was only when I was a kid. I don't do it anymore. You are a kid now, Charles. You just turned 12. But I would have to have like a half a marshmallow and then put it in there to swallow the pill. How old were you?

It's now. It's now. That's when I was like up to like 17. Are they going to say up to 5? Up to 17? Okay hang on. So the marshmallow, so it's like powdery on the outside or whatever. So you've like broken the marshmallow in half, you put the peel inside it and then kind of

sandwich it back across. And then what? Chew the marshmallow? Then you just swallow the marshmallow. But you can't swallow a marshmallow whole. I only do half of it, half the marshmallow and then you like put it inside that and then you can swallow it. But still swallowing a marshmallow, that's-

That feels worse than having a- That's gonna clog up the esophagus. Yeah. How could it, what esophagus? I know I'veallowing a marshmallow, that's... That feels worse than having a... That's gonna clog up the esophagus. Yeah. How could it, what esophagus? I know I've said that a lot, but it's such a good impression. It's got more than five letters.

Big counting too. Thank you. Yeah. But the thing is though, is that a marshmallow is powdery like a tablet. So it would just get stuck to you. Like, I don't really understand the science behind this as a tablet. So it would just get stuck. Like, I don't really understand the science behind this as a solution.

Well, he's still alive. It obviously worked. Does that work? Was that for Panadol as well? Yeah. It was, I think mainly for Panadol to be honest, because I would have like the Neurofen, the syringe. In the syringe for babies. So would I actually. I actually would.

No! I don't. It tastes so good. Did you guys have some of Mabel's when you were around the other night? I don't think I could swallow a tablet until I was like 16, 17. I used to always just have like medicine liquid.

No, so- You just have to ask at the doctor, do you have a liquid form of that? You guys all need more trauma because I'm really good at swallowing pills and it's because as a kid, just wait for me to say. And because as a kid, I was like, I did not like peas, but it was one of those veggies that like my mom always made

cause they're really easy, like just put it in the microwave, whatever. And I did not like them and I wouldn't be allowed, I'm so glad parents did not like them. And I wouldn't be allowed, I'm so glad parents aren't like this anymore. I wouldn't be allowed to leave the table until I'd eaten my peas. And I didn't like the texture of them or the taste. Is it because of the chokiness as well?

I just didn't. I think it was just green. I was a kid and because they told me I had to, I was like, fuck you. Fuck you, they're telling me what to do. I don't want to eat these. Yeah, I get it. But so I didn't like the taste of the texture.

So I used to fill my mouth up with water, put like a spoonful of peas into my mouth and then swallow a mouthful of peas whole so that they wouldn't split and I wouldn't taste them. Sorry. And then so now, okay, sorry. and I wouldn't taste them. Sorry. And then so now, okay, sorry. We'll get, I just. Yep, no, no, no.

You know how I- You take your time. You take your time. Can I get you anything? Just in the intermission. You know how sometimes you hear something and you go, and you go, oh, well that'll be the worst thing I hear today.

That's not worse than them doing fucking- When I heard about these two fucking children over here, I was like, well, at least I know where the bottom of today is. You know what I mean? There's no way that my peas are worse than that. You're taking how many peas in a- What's it, like a dessert spoon? Yeah, eight to ten.

Yep, I think that's probably a great... With a mouth full of water and just... Yep, so I'd fill my mouth with water and then put the peas in and then swallow it all together. So... I don't know why, but the thought of an untued pea going into your system makes me feel like there's like a pea plant growing in you. Well, they're not seeds, is it? What are they then?

What's a pea seed? If not that. Well, a pea is the thing that comes out of the pod. Anyway, gardening chat. So that's why I'm really good at swallowing pills because I fill my mouth full of water and then I put the pills in my mouth and they can't get stuck to your tongue that way because your mouth's already got liquid in it and then you just swallow it. I think that's what I've been trying to do with these things but they'll stick on. But well yeah.

These unsugarcoated Mary Poppins poppers. That's not good. They're not good. But for normal, normally that's how I- Is that why she's called Mary Poppins because she's popping pills all the time probably Mary Poppins Sounds fun trademark anti fucking deformation But yeah, so that's what you guys are gonna do okay

I got told a doctor told me once to take a really deep breath so you can't gag, so you go and then you put the tablet in and then you quickly drink water. Hey Ryan. No. I never gag. Take a deep breath sweetheart. I've got you love to see it. Please. This is actually such a sick. You love to say this is from Tamron. Tamron sent this through on Patreon. Hey guys, wanted to let you know about my recent trip to Australia. Fuck yeah.

I'm a Canadian Tapa and visited Sydney, Melbourne and Adelaide. I wanted to tell you that while I was in your beautiful country, I was delighted to see many things you two have mentioned on the show. Oh yeah. So Tamron has done the Tony and Ryan tour of Australia. I shook my fist at the Australia post boxes. Yeah. I looked at the MCG, couldn't get in.

Maybe there was nothing on at the time. Yep. Went into a Coles and walked over to the deli and imagined that Tony was there. Yep. Ventured into a Bunnings for a look. Did you get any follow up comments on the Bunnings? No, but the only comment is no sausage was on

because it must have been during the wait. Such a shame. That's actually not Bunnings in its prime is what I'll say. Saw the Great Ocean Road, St. Kilda beach where we went and did our Hot Fun garbage tour. Yes, yes. Just to name a few, the best part was trying all the foods that have been mentioned on the show.

McDonald's, nuggets, frappes. Frappes. Okay, so there is a little bit of that. All the cultural delights. There is a little bit of that, but the highlight for me, that is no fucking shit mentioned verbatim in this message. Can I guess? Yeah, sure.

Oh, hang on. There's probably four or five things it could be. Okay, well, that's not what you said. I'm gonna guess. Someone DMed me a few weeks ago and asked me what was the name of the fish and chip shop that did the cheese Kransky. AJ's Fish and Chip, Kiwi Fish and Chip,

it's not there anymore. Yeah. It's not a Joe's dog in Bunbury. No, no, no, no. This is, you can get it Australia wide. I don't think you'll get it. Oh, you've eaten it today. What have I eaten today?

Oh, Glucogel jelly beans. Fuck yeah. Tamron went to a chemist and bought Glucogel fucking jelly beans, which everybody should know is the Cadillac of jelly beans. Wait out me by the way. Oh, it wasn't nasty. I know, but like just having jelly beans for breakfast

isn't like, you know, an aspirational diet. Oh, disagree. They're Glucogels. Oh, I'm not mistaken. I don't think you understand. The Cadillac of jelly beans. It's basically medicine. They sell it at the chemist I don't think you understand. The Cadillac of jelly beans. It's basically medicine. They sell it at the chemist.

Like you're all good. I was at the chemist getting those cold and flus and at the desk there's all the chocolates. Yeah, and the glucagells. How is that? Well, I think it's just like a fucking... Trying to make some money. Yeah, like it's a upsell.

Oh, I'm down. Do I need a crunchy? Yes. Oh, and cause when you feel sick, that is what you want. Like you've got a bit of a flu. You've just picked up your antibiotics. There's no McDonald's near my house. So I got ice cream and the crunchy from the chemist

and I crunched up the crunchy and made my own little like. That is actually beautiful. Yeah. I love that you did that. Ice cream and crunchy. That's where I'm at. Thank you, Luca Chow for breakfast. Welcome to the day in the last day on a plate with Ryan.

Tamron finished off by saying, it's a beautiful country. And now when you mentioned things and foods and places, I can kind of picture them. And she said, by the way, Tony, I totally get your hatred of Coke Zero. It's shit in Australia. Is she implying it's better elsewhere? Normally a Coke Zero fan, but only drank Diet Coke in Australia. So I think I'm fucking on to something. So when we go away next week, are you saying that like Coke Zero might be in play in another country?

No, because Diet Coke in America, fucks. Yeah. It's so fucking good. And because they do it in like Post post mix, which is the best format. Yep. Best way to get it. Yeah, which is fucking pretty unreal. So I'll be diet coke and do you know what's also good

in America? Oh, actually I had it in Canada. I don't know if they have it in America, but diet Pepsi is a thing as well. And that was really good too. Every American's gonna hate. I don't know if they've got it in America. I reckon there's half a chance.

No, but what's not a thing here, Diet Pepsi. We have Pepsi Max. Yeah, oh yeah. Thank you. No, I'm just, I reckon they might. That's all I'm saying. Well, I don't know. I've never seen it before.

And then I got it given to me at the hotel, actually. I ordered like a Diet Coke and they brought me a Diet Pepsi. And we fucked off and then. But then I then I had it was in a can as well A range of emotions It was in a can This is bullshit as well And then I was like we'll leave this in a can and I drank it and I was like okay come down

Okay I'll cop that Yeah thanks Tamron for sharing that Thanks Tamron I'd love to see it Megan Leck Would ya? I would Lecker in German is delicious

Hardly know her This weekend I started the fucking blog. Congratulations. I just texted you a picture, Tony. I live on the Hawkesbury river and we bought a motherfucking ice cream boat. No, what? What's an ice cream?

What is an ice cream boat? So it is a boat where they cruise around to other boats and go, does anyone want to buy an ice cream? So it's like a Mr. Whippy van, but it's an ice cream boat. So it is a boat where they cruise around to other boats and go, does anyone want to buy an ice cream? So it's like a Mr. Whippy van, but it's an ice cream boat. On water. Mr. Whippy on water. This weekend we went for our first run through the Hawkesbury. Even though the end of the water ski is skis and...

I might not crack that. Water skis and? Even though it's the end of the water ski season, we smashed it. So proud of myself and our little family for our little side hustle on the water! I've never heard of that, but fuck that would be so fun! Could you imagine you're out on the boat and this other boat just like... Yeah!

G'day guys, anyone want a splice or a Golden Gay time? Yeah, anyone want a fucking cyclone? Yeah! How could it be a fucking cyclone? A cyclone is the best icy pole because the texture is just phenomenal. I know. Agreed.

I actually am speechless just thinking about it because. You don't sound like it. Sorry, I'm lashing out, I'm lashing out. And it shouldn't be directed at you. I'm lashing out because we ordered Vietnamese iced coffees and now I wish I got a golden gay time. I don't think that was available. That wasn't an option.

So it's like moot point. Like in the world? No, but like moot point from like where we ordered from, you know what I mean? Cause like, Oh, I wish I'd gotten a new car instead of a V8, you know what I mean? I have those. Yeah.

No, really fucked up. Yeah. Especially cause Charles was playing. Yeah, I know. You go, Oh yeah. They've got that Mazda 6 in there. I'll grab me one of those. Okay, so I've fucked up my order, but Megan, well done. That's awesome.

Do you reckon they could take us for a punt around the river? I was going to say, do you reckon they'd deliver to us? Just around the river then? They're hard to get to on a boat though. Will all pipes lead to the ocean? They could come up through the sink. Nah, the flies are in there. Oh, the fucking bugs. Yeah, we're gonna deal with that.

All right, I love that. All right, tomorrow, normal or nah. My favorite day of the week. Yep, love you. Love you, bye. Bonjour Canada, this episode is brought to you by OXIO, the Canadian internet provider that finally feels like home. And Ryan, you know that feeling when you get home, you take your shoes and socks off,

take your bra off and like for you it's your house clothes, but for me it's my nightie. Yeah, I mean your nighties house clothes. Pop my, but I pop my nightie on and. Well, it is pure bliss, isn't it? Well, with Oxio, your internet can feel like home too. It actually already does. It actually already does. I want to move to Canada so that I can sign up to Oxio and I've always said that. Do we not live in Canada? I'll be not signed up to Oxio. Oxio have no term contracts, Oxio have no price hike so you don't have to call

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Yep. Head to oxio.ca. So O-X-I-O.ca and use the code TARP, T-A-R-P, and get one month free. This episode is brought to you by our friends at Aura Frames. And Ryan, do you happen to know maybe someone, not adding anybody, but that maybe takes a million photos of maybe, you know, the cutest little girl in the world. And their camera roll is just overflowing with pictures

you don't know what to do with. There is smoke coming out of my phone because of their 10 million photos I have of Mabel struggling to fit in my phone. I meant the prettiest little girl ever. I obviously meant my phone. And my coworker, Tony Lodge. Cause filled with the prettiest little girl in the world,

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It's perfect for stacking and wearing every day. And you can like play around with different styles, mix different colors and metals and stack different combos. So there's really something for everyone. And can I tell you a cute little personal note? Please. You know these gold earrings that I wear? They're Majuri.

Oh. And they were like the first bit of jewelry I ever bought myself. Yeah. Would you say that was the gateway? That was your first like, Oh, I think I'm a jewelry person now. Yes, I'm a Missouri person now. Yeah. Put that on the front cover of it's not a book. The products are beautifully designed and have a minimal but

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