Toni and Ryan - The Audio QUEEN

Episode Date: October 31, 2021

Now I know YOU know that I (Toni) write these descriptions, so the title seems reaaalllllyyyy self indulgent but JUST. YOU. WAIT. We also talk about bread and Buzz Lightyear. Love you!!!!!! Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you had to choose, would you say you're more of a Team Derek or a Team Patrick? Patrick. Interesting. Okay. Hello? Hello, is that Derek? Yeah.

Derek, it's Tony and Ryan. How are you? Oh, my God. Hi, Derek. Hello. Now, Derek, I hate to be the one to tell you this because I've always been Team Derek, but Tony just said she was more of a Team Patrick,

so I don't know how you feel about that. Tony, take a seat. Oh, okay. Take a seat. Wow, welcome to Derek and Ryan, the podcast. So where do we find both Derek and Patrick this evening? Where are you guys? We are in South Hadley, Massachusetts.

And Derek, is it you who forced your husband to listen to us or is it like a mutual thing? Because I know there's a lot of people being forced to listen by their partner in the car to things they don't want to hear. What's the scenario with you two? Very mutual. Very, very mutual, things they don't want to hear. What's the scenario with you two? Very mutual. Very, very mutual, yeah. Great.

Good to know. Yeah, I like that. Consent is important. Well, we're wondering if we could get approval for this podcast from the two of you, if that's all right. Oh, absolutely. This is our first double approver, and I love it. It's very dynamic, isn't it?

I can't believe we're talking to you. I'm so sorry. Oh, my God. Oh, my gosh. Don't be silly. You know that we're not that interesting, and definitely Ryan's not. We absolutely give approval.

This has been such an honour. You've set the bar so high for everyone else this week. Yeah, you're our first call of the day. So it's, you know, like really warm to say. Ryan was so angry before and now he's smiling. Why would you say something like that? Blasphemy, lies, awful. Awful person.

I'm literally going to start crying. I'm so happy. We literally, it feels like we're talking to our best friends right now. I'm freaking out. Well, it feels like we're talking to our best friends as well. Obviously not as much for Tony because she prefers Patrick to Derek, but I like both you guys. I can bat for both teams.

Well, I'll just stick to my own team. Tony, you're going to fight. I'll accept that. Well, we've got a trip to your area in a few years, so, Tony. We do. Lube up, mate. Yeah, always do. Never go and dry.

Amen, sister. All right, well, thank you so much for your approval. Enjoy your weekend. And, again, thank you so much for supporting us and being part of the team. You too, guys. thank you so much for your approval. Enjoy your weekend. And, again, thank you so much for supporting us and being part of the team. You too, guys. Thank you so much. Love you.

Bye. Love you. Bye. Hey, it's Derek and Patrick, and we approve this podcast. Oh, my God. That was so good. That was amazing. Have you guys been practicing that?

No. No. Get your story straight before the phone rings. You all right, then? Yeah, I just scratched my head while I was putting my headphones in. Ow, that hurt. How many times have you put headphones on? Oh, 75 billion in my life.

And that was the one that got you? That was the one that got me. Actually, speaking of how long you've been doing your job for. Yeah. And you listening to this podcast, I want you to think about this question as well. How long they've been doing audio or me? How long they've had their job.

Oh, okay. And not maybe their current role but just in the area. Oh, like that skill set they've been using. Yeah, if you're a teacher, how long have you been a teacher for? If you're in IT, how long have you been working with computers? Tony's in audio. How long have you been working in audio? Ten years.

I want you to quickly think about your first year of doing your role and then how much better at it you are now. Okay. Yep. How much better are you? So much better. I wonder if teachers after, because you'd come out of uni, you'd be feeling good and you know, it'd take you a while to get used to it, but I'm sure you'd get, get it pretty quick. But then 10 years later, you look back and go, oh, if only I had have known all these tips and tricks and stuff along the way. Yeah, it's the confidence, isn't it?

Yeah. It's that like you know the same stuff and, yeah, you pick up tips and tricks, but it's the undwindling confidence of being like this is my job and I know how to do it. So coming up real soon, I've got something for you, Tony, to see if you are, in fact, as good as audio as you claim to be. I didn't say I was good at it. You used the word confidence and you said you're a lot better at it.

Fuck. Okay. Yep. That's coming up soon. What have you got? Anxiety. I need to talk to you about bread. Okay.

Everybody is going to have an opinion on this because everybody thinks that where they're from does the best thing. You know how when you talk to someone, you go, oh, I'm from Melbourne, the coffee's the best. But then someone goes, oh, well, I'm from Sydney and the coffee's the best. Yeah, or I know your mum does meatloaf, but my mum's meatloaf is the best. Oh, mine's the best. Yeah, or I know your mum does meatloaf, but my mum's meatloaf is the best. Oh, mine's the best. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly right. So an American has said something that in Australia has ruined their life. Okay. And it's not this podcast. Something has ruined my life and it's you. Just a quick one. Yes. There's a new toy story coming out.

Fuck off. Oh, yeah, actually, no, I know what you're talking about. I, like, reacted before realising what you'd said, yeah. Chris Evans is going to be the new Buzz Lightyear. So, pause. Why isn't Tim Allen doing it? He's alive. Maybe he's just, you know, retired or he's old.

Do you hate being part of childhood memories? I guess the thing with actors and the entertainment biz and musicians versus, like, someone who's an accountant is when you're an accountant you, like, retire and you say my last day is here. Yeah. But I guess movie stars rarely say, oh, on the 20th of November this year I'm retiring.

You kind of just do your last movie and then maybe you get old and don't do another. Yeah. But, like, maybe, like, he's earned enough money. He is probably old and he has kids. So, like, surely you get to a stage where you go, oh, actually, that's a lot of hard work. I wish you guys all the best, but I'm retiring maybe.

But it's voicing a character. But that's his job, though. No, no, I know. But, you know, it's not as like doing that for the actor would be significantly different to being in like a full on movie. On set, yeah. Yeah. So I don't know.

I just felt a bit, not disappointed because like obviously he's well within his rights to make that choice. But I was like, oh, that's a shame because surely this will be the last Toy Story. To be honest, Toy Story 4 wasn't great. I don't think I saw Toy Story 4. Exactly. honest, Toy Story 4 wasn't great. I don't think I saw Toy Story 4. Exactly. I saw Toy Story 3 and was incredible.

Oh, so good. And number four, Torbs and I actually went and watched it at the cinema because I didn't want it to get spoiled. Oh, okay. You were that terrified of the internet. And I was really disappointed. Anyway, yeah, so this new thing without Tim Allen in it. Yep. So Chris Evans is replacing him, which is not Chris Pratt.

They're two separate characters in Marvel or DC or whatever they're in. Oh, that's going to piss people off. They hate that. I'm sorry about that. But I know that he's one of them and he's also not Chris Pratt. Yep. Or Chris, what's the other one? We're talking about Chris Evans.

Oh. We're talking about Christopher Walken. Hey, I'm walking here. Chris Evans is Captain America. Oh, I said that with confidence. Is it? People are so annoyed. Anyway, anyway.

Chris Evans as the new Buzz Lightyear was given a beard in our Facebook page and I have a new double ganger. Yeah. Have a squiz. Did you say double ganger? What's the word? Oh, my love. Doppelganger.

It's not double ganger. You just say that. No, it's doppelg love. Doppelganger. It's not doubleganger. You just say that. No, it's doppelganger. Doppelganger. There's double. There's two of you. Doppelganger. Do I look like Buzz with a beard?

Yes. I could not. Hold this up to your face because I think you look. We'll do a video and we'll get the original. Yeah. Do we look similar? I actually think you do. Like the coffee hair, the beard, like the thick face.

In the best way. Stocky. Stocky face. Brianna Ferguson. Hi, Brianna. Commented on the picture. Yeah. Of the two of us looking similar.

Yeah. Read what she said. That's sexy. Brianna has said, I would ride him to infinity and beyond. That's a sexy thing to say. I can't help but notice that this is a screen grab of what Brianna has. Like, you've cropped it. You've reacted.

You've reacted to the comment. There's been back and forth. Oh, back and forth. How much? Not that much. No, not that much. And we did not go to Affinity nor Beyond. Oh.

That's a sexy thing to say, Brianna. I really like that. But, I mean, it's true. But isn't it weird when. It's true that you would ride me to Affinity and Beyond. We both know. But isn't it weird when you think that cartoon characters are sexy? So a girl I used to work with, PJ, on the show, Jason PJ,

she said that one of her first sexual crushes was Simba from The Line. He's not even a human. I was expecting at least to be a cartoon human. No. She was like, oh, he just like, I just really like something about kind of his jib, I guess. I don't know. But isn't it weird when you think that?

That would freak me out if it was anyone except PJ who said that. Isn't it weird, though, when you do like find a cartoon character a bit sexy like Jessica Rabbit? Well, there's a whole section on adult sites. Yeah, that are like the porn version of gaming. Like I'm not a gamer, but apparently a lot of people are turned on by the characters in computer games and then there's like, you know. Or like fanfic.

Yeah, but it's like fanfic porn. Oh. So they're like, oh, that girl in that game, you could see her like getting it done. Oh. So they're like, oh, that girl in that game, you could see her like getting it done. Oh. But again, a cartoon, I don't know if that's weird. Is that weird? I don't know.

It's just like, of course. So who's the hottest cartoon? Oh, well, you did mention Aladdin. I do like Aladdin. And even Jasmine, like the two of them together. Oh, yeah, them together. Yeah, they could get it. Hottest cartoon.

Prince Eric from The Little Mermaid. He's a bit of a goer as well. Um. Ariel would be hot if she had a vagina. Yeah. Yeah. Um. What?

That was just, that's just like a really weird thing we've just said. And I'm like, I'm hearing it back in my, should we move on? Is this enough? Yeah, I reckon we're done here. So speaking of me being good at my job. Speaking of you being good at your job. I'm so embarrassed we've just had that conversation. I don't embarrass easily.

Is that fucking weird? In general or specifically about the little mermaid's vagina? Stop. Like, oh, something fishy is going on. Yeah, I've got a fish bottom. Or imagine if she was fish on the top but legs on the bottom. I think we had this conversation once where you're like, would you rather it be the top or the bottom?

Oh, I don't even remember that. We talk a lot of shit. There's a video of you pretending to have a fish face on the internet. All right, here is the Tony Lodge audio challenge. I'm calling it Tony the Audio Queen. Okay. Now, I know that this isn't specifically your job. You're like an editor and engineer and you cut it all together and make things.

Thank you. I want you to recreate some things audibly, like using your mouth, doing the sound effects and the voices and stuff. Okay. Do you reckon you can do it? Should I take notes at the same time so I remember? They're quick and easy. Okay.

Like Ariel when she had a vagina. All right, here we go. How would she poo? How do fish poo? Does it fill up the bottom of her tail? Yeah, you'd have to empty the sleeping bag. And once a month she just empties it out. Yeah.

Sorry. Like a colostomy bag. Yeah. Her whole bottom half is a colostomy bag. Or do you reckon there's a little hole in the bottom, like of her feet? Oh, and it just like pops out. Yeah. Okay, we digress.

Tony. Yes. This is so insignificant after I'm picturing Ariel. Oh, okay, mate. Trying to poo. Yeah. Okay. We digress. Tony. Yes. This is so insignificant after I'm picturing Ariel. Oh, okay, mate. Trying to poo. Ugh. Anastasia is a golden retriever. She's a beautiful dog.

She's about to give birth. There's three puppies, but the third one is a little bit bigger than the first two. Here's what it sounded like with Anastasia giving birth to the three puppies. Was that? That was. Do you think that sounds like a dog giving birth? It sounded like a lot of things.

So it wasn't good? Also waiting for the bigger third dog. Oh, okay. But then this is Anastasia seeing the puppies and realising it's all worth it. I have a confession to make. I thought this would be really funny and I'm terrified. That was good, wasn't it?

I'm not saying it was bad. I'm just terrified. I thought that was quite cute because, like, you know, when you see a woman give birth, like on a movie, I've never seen it in real life, obviously no one likes me enough to make me their birth partner, and I would not be supportive in that situation. No, you'd be terrified. Someone would be like, oh, my God, can you get me some ice cubes?

I'd be like, oh, like big ice or like small. Just get me some ice! Yeah, like I'm not good at taking charge. I need specific instructions. Yep. But, like, when the woman's like. Like. And then the woman's like, this baby we've made is so beautiful. But the baby's like.

You are good at this. You are good at this. That wasn't one of the ones, but you are correct. That's going to be a great video. Watch Tony reenact someone giving birth. Like here. All right, next one. The sound my wife Bridget makes when she wakes up,

yawns, rolls over and is disappointed to find out that, yes, she is still married to me. Okay. Okay. That was really good. Thank you. That was so accurate. I've heard that before.

You're like, have you been talking to Bridget? She told you about this? This is so fun. You're great at this. Thank you. See, I knew you'd be great at this. Thank you. All right, Adele, one of our favourite artists.

Yeah, okay. Beautiful voice. She's doing some vocal work and she's working on her low notes. But she's doing this whilst at the gym doing squats okay hello from the other side

I must have called a thousand times and I'm really fine you're break your heart. She was rolling in the deep notes. Oh, my God. That was some of my squats I've done in, like, six years,

as you can tell from my body shape. No, yeah, because you... No, I was going to say you look like you've been squatting. Thanks, babe. Not that. Final one. The squats couldn't have been the last one. No, one more, one more.

All right. Trent is a straight man. Yep. But he's about to have sex with another man for the first time. Okay. He's squeamish and nervous as he expects it to hurt when he receives the goods. Okay.

But then he's actually pleasantly surprised. It's actually not that painful and it's actually the highlight of his life. All right. Hey, mate. Sorry, I am pretty nervous, mate. Yeah. You're gorgeous, but I am pretty nervous. This is my first time. This is my first time.

This is my first time. No, no, it's good for me, mate. Yeah, cheers. No, mate. No, yeah, no, it's good for me, mate. Yeah, cheers. No, mate. No, it feels really. Yeah, that was the end. That was. You were great at that.

This is like Pictionary but audio Pictionary. Audio Pictionary. You were great at that and also the dedication you put into it. And I know that not everyone listening to the pod could see the facial expressions, but I'm a committed actor. I believe that you were taking one to the butt when I saw that. I mean, you've seen it

before as well. Well, not from that angle. You need a picture of the back of your head, let me know. Very funny. I mean, me talking about bread now just seems so insecure. So there's this tweet going freaking mental online. People have been sharing it into our group like it's gone everywhere. From Cara Sheigal. Oh, the old Sheigal. Yeah, Big K. Yeah. I think that's actually a drug term, saying Big K.

Oh no, that's Special K. Do you say Big K? Don't know, I'm not a ketamine man, I'm more of a... Ketamine. Diet Coke. Twisties. Yeah. Cheezels. I came in this morning parched because I ate salt and vinegar chips yesterday and my mouth is still dry. That's the extent of the illicit things going into my person. I brought Ryan a coffee this morning and then he gets out this 16-litre Gatorade.

It's only one litre. It's like a fucking 44-gallon drum full of orange Gatorade. Well, have a big night, mate. And he goes, no, I just ate too many salt and vinegar chips. I'm feeling really dehydrated. Salt and vinegar chips destroy your face. I love that, like, Gatorade is a sports drink but has been adopted by, like, useless hungover people.

So when I in a former life was an athlete, hard to believe now. No, I may. I believe it. Thank you. I played college volleyball, played volleyball around the world and blah, blah, blah. Never drank a Gatorade the whole time I played volleyball. Since I've got rid of my athletic fit and got piss fit,

Gatorade all the time. Now I've stopped being an athlete. Now I will start getting on the Gatorade because I'm eating hot chips and drinking a lot of brews. Yeah, and the next morning I just really need that pick-me-up, you know? Yeah, the pick-me-up, yeah. All right, so big K, special K, ketamine Cara. Oh, don't call her that.

She hates that. It's like cocaine Cassie. She hates that, yeah. Do you remember that? Cocaine Cassie. All right, this is the saddest thing I've ever read in my entire life and she has shared this screenshot. I ate bread in Australia and it ruined my life.

During my visit to Australia, we visited a grocery store and brought a loaf of sliced bread. I remember the packaging was orange and it was labelled toast, indicating it was meant to be toasted. Pause. That's very common in Australia. I don't know if it's common elsewhere, but we have sandwich bread and toast bread and it's thicker.

Yeah, it's the thicker cut because it's going to get toasted. If the toast is too thin when you toast it, it just becomes like cardboard. Garbage. Yeah, you want a thicker cut. Yeah. I actually exclusively use toast bread. We never buy sandwich bread because it's like basically putting ham in a bit of paper.

Yeah, well, I'll dream about that. Exactly. Also, side note, when you get like a fruit bread, what is it called? Raisin toast. Raisin toast. But it's an extra thick cut. Have you ever had like a brioche raisin toast? Fucking come in my fucking ass. All right.

Unpause. Tony, you're actually on a podcast. Sorry. Send money to the Patreon. Okay. Now, this bread was the softest, most amazing bread I've ever had in my sad American life. The very first bite was ecstasy.

Oh, she is bloody. Yeah, ketamine Cassie. Ketamine Cara, yeah. Ketamine Cassie. I had around three slices before I even thought to put some in the toaster. She's just hocking bread and butter, which is the best. You know when you're really drunk and you eat like half a loaf of bread and it's just like raw bread?

Just bread and butter. I mean, talk about a winning combo. I've heard the good things. Yeah, me too. Tony and Ryan, bread and butter. Butter to your bread. Yeah, exactly right. And then the toast was something else.

The toast was an absolute godsend. I would pay just to live off that toast for the rest of my life. It was still so soft in the middle despite it being toasted. I remember thinking, is this the Australian standard? Is this how they live life every day? Yeah, it is. Guys, I can't live without that bread. Ever since I got back to America, I've been in pursuit of that bread

that can deliver just as well but have found nothing. Am I doomed for the rest of my life without that bread? How am I supposed to go on knowing that delicacies lie on the other side of the planet and I have no means of access? First of all, I'd just like to say that I'm happy that the Australian way of life and the Australian way of loaf is now moving all around the world because the reason we have different cuts and different thicknesses is there's different purposes.

Thank you. Yes. And cocaine ketamine Cassie, she is whatever. I'm so high on her words, I don't even care. Oh, beautiful. That was poetic, mate. I love that she loves that. Me too.

Because if someone said you guys have been cutting slices different this whole time for no reason, I'd feel a bit dumb. I know. And because the headline is I ate bread in Australia and it ruined my life, I thought they were going to say it's bad. It's bad, yeah. But it's so good. Do you know what other, like, so now that we're talking

about breads from different lands, pun, which is the bread from Japan, I'm pretty sure it's like shorupan or something, shorupan or something. Have you been to Japan? I have been to Japan. I've never mentioned that. Twice. Twice, that does not surprise me. Oh, mate.

All right. Sorry. I love fried chicken and bread and that's what I ate when I was in Japan. Do I look like a guy saying no to those sort of things? Oh, my God. So they've got this chain of convenience stores called Family Mart and they have like, well, they have it in all of them, but in the Family Mart they've got like these like a bain-marie, it's like a hot thing.

So in Australia we have those full of like meat pies and sausage rolls or like a pasty or something. They have like hot pots full of like dumplings and like pork buns. How good are pork buns? And fried chicken. Just on the go, on the bain-marie, ready to roll. Yep. And so you go in there and you say just like one fummy chicky

and they give you this chicken in a little paper bag. It is the best thing in the world. So Torbs and I, when we were wasted, we would like, because beers are like one cent. Yeah. You'd go down there and you'd get like a loaf of bread and the bread was sliced like two bits of toasted bread from Australia. They know what's up.

Yeah. And we'd get some Fummy Chickie and you put it in like the toaster oven and fuck, so good. So you just wander on down to this joint. Yeah, and they're open. It's just open all the time. You're getting fat bread. You're getting delicious chicken and dollar bit.

Why did you go anywhere else in Japan? It's just there's nothing else that's better. So where my brother lives in New Orleans, Cole, there's this. Cole's a hot name. Yeah. Well, he looks like me, so you'd have a crack. Yeah, I would. So he lives across the street from this place called Igor's, which is a 24-hour dive bar.

And then next to that is like a convenience store, which is 24-7, which just has all day, just hot wings, like you said, on the thing ready to go. So good. That's so dangerous. Every time when I was in New Orleans, every time at the end of the night, we're like, on the thing ready to go. So good. But so dangerous. Oh, every time when I was in New Orleans, every time at the end of the night, we're like,

oh, on the way back, we'll just go to Eagle's for a beer, we'll get some chicken from the place next door, just on the way home. Just on the way home. You know, just take the edge off. Even though it's the planned last stop of the night. It just occurred to me that my nightcap is chicken. You know, like people have like a tokay or a fancy brandy

at the end of the night. Like, no, mate, fried chicken, get it in. I actually, you know how it's now a thing to do like a midnight snack after a wedding? Yeah. Like have you been to a wedding where at the end of the night they do like cheese toasties or they order heaps of maccas or something?

I fucking love that. When I went to the Ronald McDonald Ball, which... Oh, all right, mate. It was a charity event. Were you even seeing it or something? Oh, sorry, do you not support charities? Aren't those things like thousands of dollars a plate? I believe so.

Very rich people in the room. But, yeah, I was working at a radio station that was supporting it and stuff, so we were there. Oh, wow. That's so cool. Ronald McDonald House. For people, I don't know if this is a thing in other countries. So McDonald's basically funds these.

It's basically accommodation for parents. Say if your child is in the hospital, you can stay at this place across the road or, like, down the hallway. Yeah. So instead of driving two hours home hoping your kids are right through the night, you can stay on premises. Yeah, for, like, regional families and stuff. Yeah, it's a great idea.

Yeah. So it's a big fancy ball. All these rich people go and bid on auctions and stuff. Great way to raise money. Amazing, yeah. We're leaving at the end of the night, and,. Yeah, it's a great idea. Yeah. So it's a big fancy ball. All these rich people go and bid on auctions and stuff. Great way to raise money. Amazing, yeah. We're leaving at the end of the night and, of course, you've had the fancy little like the beef or the cheese. It's like a wedding, you know, fancy little food.

Oh, yeah, the alternate drop. But you've had a few beers and you're like, oh, do I want a kebab on the way home? Yeah. As we left the building, McDonald's had a car out the front just giving away cheeseburgers. Oh, such a good idea. And a lot of, I know this is such a cliche thing, but a lot of, I don't know, this is such a cliche thing,

but a lot of the girls hadn't eaten much during the day because they wanted to get into their, like, skinny dress and looking stuff and it's a very red carpet. And it was just like I opened the door to leave and I was like, oh, my God, all my Christmases have come at once. Yeah, that's amazing. If I had a big wedding, I would arrange that. Oh, it is, like, a non-negotiable for me.

A Toaster Cheese Sandwich after you've had, like like a million espresso martinis, there is nothing better. Hey, this is Derek and Patrick, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors, like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause, causing the risk of heart disease to go up. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. Thank you to everyone who's been supporting the podcast. Next week we will have the official number of how many people signed up in October because there's a bit of lag time and that sort of thing.

Yeah. We said we'd do one nugget for every one person that signed up and it's going to be over 650 on Patreon. Yeah, it's very intimidating because we both thought maybe, you know, 10 to 40 people. Yep. And we're looking at a hefty amount of nuggets. Speaking of which, shout out to Jen Zinger

and she had an idea of where we should get the nuggets from. Any idea where Jen Zinger said? Oh, maybe. Okay, I'm saying. Hungry Jacks. Travis Ledoux, thank you very much. Matt Elrich, Emily O'Dell. Ashley Olsen.

And when we saw Ashley Olsen, and I mean, she probably hates this because she gets it all the time. She would get it all the time. But when we saw Ashley Olsen pop up. We both went, oh, what about Mary-Kate? Ah, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. I used to love those two. Oh my God.

Same. Okay. So they had this thing in the, it was this magazine in Australia called Total Girl Magazine. And I used to like beg my mum to buy it for me every week or month or whatever. And they had this series and it was them moving away to boarding school and talking about how they were like planning on it and they got like a Nokia 3315 to take with them.

They did not. Yeah, I know. She's high tech at the time. Yeah, it was. Emily – I already said Emily Adele. Amy S., Hattie Aspen, Holly Denham, Charlie Efty and Kane Veenstar. And Daniel Austin Head, thank you so much. Oh, by the way, someone recognised Tony from the internet in a bar

and bought her shots the other day. Must be nice to be you. Oh, mate. Yep. Shout out to, they were lovely, by the way. They were lovely, but was it just me? No, they also bought a drink for my wife, Bridget. Speaking of Bridget, I've got some feedback from the Tony and Ryan community.

Okay. Bridget, this morning, I was out in the kitchen getting ready, getting some coffee and stuff, and I heard giggling from the bedroom. Oh, she was touching herself. Well, I was like, is she doing that? She's got a guy over. Has she brought someone over? It sounded very like cute little giggles from the bedroom.

Yeah. What the fuck? I looked at BJ and he was looking at me and that's the dog, by the way. Yeah. And we were like, what's going on in there? And we're like, well, should we check it out? I don't want to interrupt if they're having a good time. Yeah.

I walk in there and I'm like, what are you doing? And she said, everyone in the Tony and Ryan podcast Facebook group are making fun of you because they're making memes out of your dumb Halloween costume from last week. Oh, my God, so funny. Funny forever. And she's just having the time of her life and she's like, they're being so mean to you.

It's so great. And I was like, what? Bridget's favourite pastime, taking the piss out of you. Actually, though. It was so funny because And I was like, what? Bridget's favourite pastime, taking the piss out of you. Actually, though. It was so funny because there was this recurring screenshot that everyone was posting. Yeah, can you describe that? So you're kind of looking over at me.

Oh, you've printed it out. Okay, mate, tickets on yourself. Describe that. So you're looking at me and you've kind of got this look on your face like, you fucking what? Yeah. And everyone kept posting this screenshot, right? Yeah.

But when I saw it, I was like, what have I said? Because I've obviously said something a bit fucking weird and that's why you're looking over. I said this to you when we started working that I have thinking bitch face. Yeah. When my mind's thinking it looks like I'm fucked off or pissed off, but I'm not. That's just my thinking face.

Do you think that's why we had a fight before we started recording today? We didn't have a fight. And I'll fight you on that point. We can't. We're fine. Yeah, right, because I was saying things and you're just like, whatever. Like, you're just, like, in the zone. Yeah.

Okay, that's cool. After a year of knowing you, I'm glad that I finally figured that out. Sammy said, so people were basically saying this is what Ryan's cool. After a year of knowing you, I'm glad that I finally figured that out. Sammy said, so people were basically saying this is what Ryan's thinking. They're taking a wild stab in the dark at my resting. Funny, yep. Sammy, and by the way, I'm dressed like an absolute tool for Halloween. You look so funny. Sammy, when you've been planning hard for your outfit and someone says,

oh, did you borrow that from your niece? And Rob Davenport, when someone else also has the nerve to shop at the reject shop. Oh. I mean, he's not wrong. He's not wrong. Last week we talked about grooming mishaps and a lot of people, there was a lot of comments saying it was funny but it was cringe,

like they were listening squirmish. Is that the right word? Squeamish. Squeamish. Yeah. I saw a post from someone saying I actually had to skip the episode because I heard the first one and it was too much. And I thought, grow up.

Well, I would like to send a shout out to Crystal who's from Texas. Hi, Crystal from Texas. She said, for the first time in my life, I've avoided it till now, I decided to go and get a Brazilian wax for the first time ever. Fuck, good for you, bitch, because it is really intimidating. And her commitment to comedy and her commitment to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Nice.

Guess what she did? She got TR waxed into her pubes. She did the second best thing possible. Obviously, that would be the first. She recorded it. So let's have a listen. No. To Crystal from Texas's first ever Brazilian wax.

I need like a horse thing. Oh, my gosh. That is so. Oh. See? like a horse thing. Oh my gosh. That'd be so... Oh! See? That one wasn't that bad. I told you. You don't know what I

felt. You don't know what I felt. Oh my gosh. Now speaking of, and I think we should call this episode Tony the Audio Queen. Oh, yeah, okay. Let me write that down so I don't forget. Would you be able to reenact Crystal from Texas,

A, getting the wax and then doing the, you don't know what I felt. Do you need to hear it one more time? No. This is her feeling nervous. See, I told you it would be fine. You don't know how it feels. You nailed that.

Thank you. You've killed this episode. I didn't know that I was good at that. You are so good at that. Hashtag hidden talent. Thank you. My You Love To see it is kind of feedback and kind of you love to see it, but

people are going to love this update. So we talked a few weeks ago about the possibility of a Tony and Ryan tattoo. Yes. And a lovely tattooist, Josh, who is wood underscore tattoo on Instagram if you'd like to follow him. He reached out and said I'm in Perth. I would love to do

a tarpa tattoo. And we kind of were back and forth. A few people reached out with a few stories and said, I'd love to be part of it. I'm in Perth. And we have picked a winner. Trilby is our test dummy. Not tattooer, tattooee. Tattooee, our guinea pig. And everyone's really pumped. They've just booked in a time, so we'll be sharing the video of that when it comes out, which is really, really cool.

You do love to see that. You do love to see it. Might love to see it, and you might have seen this doing the rounds on the internet, but it just does me in every time I watch this. Yeah. There's a famous... I wouldn't even say...

There's a famous... Famous... I wouldn't even say poet, more of like a literary scholar named Homer. Like ancient Greece. And a lot of his work became like Greek language. Yeah. Sorry if I don't know the backstory.

I haven't known that. But his name was Homer. Simpson. Well, it's funny you say that because lots of people confuse the two. Because when you think of Homer... D'oh! A lot of people think of The Simpsons. So have a listen to this quiz show in the UK and have a listen what happened.

In his epic poems, Homer often refers to nectar as the drink of the gods and which other substance as their food. I know he likes doughnuts. I think I'll go with doughnuts, big man. Okay. So he locks likes doughnuts. I think I'll go with doughnuts, please, man. Okay. So he locks in doughnuts. That is so fucking funny. And the host of the show, his face, because he's just realised,

oh, you're thinking of The Simpsons, but I'm talking about the famous scholar and ancient literary hero. Oh, my God. I'd like to lock in donuts, thanks. I think that that's what I would do. And because you're nervous, like, you know when you watch people on a game show and you're like, why have you fucked that up? It's so easy.

But under all that pressure, and then imagine watching that back. You don't love to see that. Well, he wouldn't, but the rest of the world has. We love it. It's been seen millions and millions of times. Hey, we'll chat to you tomorrow with things you can say in a gym and also in the bedroom. Chat to you then.

Meow. You're a fucking idiot. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors. Like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause, causing the risk of heart disease to go up.