Toni and Ryan - The Best Pickup Line

Episode Date: October 26, 2022

A truly HARROWING tale about dogs and freezers and uncles. Would not recommend to be honest, and it's my fucking podcast. Haha love ya!! Toni xo Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

All right, we've got Hazel. Hazel. Hazel. Hello? Is that Hazel? Hello? It is. Hazel, it's Tony and Ryan.

After 57 years, I think we've found you. Oh, hi. Hi. Oh, well, we'd love to say yay, Zul. Do you mind approving the podcast? Absolutely. Yay. Woo-hoo.

Hi, it's Hazel from Farnham in the UK, and I approve this podcast. Yeah. On the Tony and Ryan podcast. This one. Thanks for listening. Thanks for listening. Yeah. Is it fair to say that over the journey of 13 months, 14 months, we've heard some harrowing tales?

Harrowing, yeah. You have really laid off saying harrowing. Well, I got self-conscious because people kept calling me out for saying it all the time. You did say it a lot. However, coming up today. Yes. I'm going to put it out there. This is probably the most harrowing story.

Okay. If you've ever owned a dog and if you're a bogan that's ever had a freezer in the garage. That's relatable to me. Yep. Both of these things. You'll be surprised and you may not be able to sleep tonight. I've already said too much. So I'm going to put my dog in a freezer.

Stay tuned. Stay tuned. Stay tuned. First of all, normal or nah? This one's from Ethan. Normal or nah, completely drying yourself before getting out of the shower. I do this every time. But Ethan says, my partner is like, nah, that's what the mat's for. Like brings the towel into the shower?

Yeah, I know. So Bridget will have the towel like over the rail. As in over the shower door? Yeah. Oh, I hate it when people do that. Wouldn't it get wet? That's what I always think. But she claims it's because she's from New Zealand.

It's really cold in winter. She goes, oh, but you don't want to get out of the shower because it's so cold. You want to stay in the steam. Right. So she'll dry herself off in there. Right. And not have like your naked body wet. Yeah.

Hit the air. In the elements. Yeah. Like straight away. I'm going to say nah because I don't do that. I normally like turn off the water and then like i'll like do the lean yeah i do the lean but i like shake my leg as i'm kind of getting out like kind of one shake and then the other leg and then i step onto the bath mat it makes complete sense but you're just saying shake a leg is just

very funny oh yeah good luck um yeah that's what i do is that not what people do so often the first few years bridget and i live together she'd be like why is there so much water on the mat i'm like that's why there's a mat there when you're wet you get out of the shower and you reach across and grab your towel and then also as you're stepping out you don't slip yeah on the Yeah. And I think I agree with Ethan. Like that's what the mat, there would be no need for a mat. Yeah. That is literally what the mat's for.

Yeah. But also completely drying yourself in the shower, then like you get clammy. Because it's like sweaty and steamy in there. Yeah. Because you know like straight after you exercise really hard. Relatable. Yeah. Yeah, I know that feeling daily.

Let's all try and think about what that's like. Let me recall. But, you know, when you, like, exercise really hard and then you have a shower at the gym. Yeah. And you have to, like, towel off and get dressed in the shower. Yeah, no, you fucking leave, you're still sweaty. Yes. Is that because the gym bathroom is so hot and steamy? Well, I think it's because like your body is like still hot or whatever,

but like your clothes are in the like. Vicinity of the heat. In the wet area. So like and then all day your clothes like just don't really sit right. They're kind of like clingy. So in a former life. I'm so glad that you knew because I was like, oh, I hope you get what I'm saying. So in a former life, I was going to be one of those guys who went to like the gym before

work and then just like showered at the gym and went to my workplace. We've all thought about being that person, yeah. I don't know. But this was one of the main issues. Yeah. You roll in and you're like, your hair's still a bit wet. You're still a bit sweaty. And it's like, oh, you've been to the gym.

Oh, did you have a shower? And you're like, yeah. Yeah, I did. Oh. This is post-shower. Yeah. No, I agree with that. That really fucked me off.

Yeah. And so I think that that's why the thought of having my towel on the inside is like, bleh. Yeah. Then I just have to towel off again. Yeah. And surely then your skin would just be like a bit wet all day. You'd just feel damp.

Yeah. Oh, damp's a gross thing to be all day. I mean. It's better than. Moist. Okay. Yeah. Hills Mackay has the dumbest normal or nah ever.

Kissing my dog on the head before we go to sleep. Normal. Of course you do. Why would you get a dog if you didn't do that? Yeah, fucking put it in. Your tongue. Yeah. Yeah. Justin Woods, normal. Of course you do. Why would you get a dog if you didn't do that? Kissed on the mouth. Yeah, fucking put it in. Your tongue. Yeah. Yeah.

Justin Woods, normal or nah? Guys scrolling on their phone at the urinal. I say nah, two hands on the wheel, please. I don't know if I'm qualified to answer this. Maybe not qualified from personal experience, but if you could just like, you know, make some reasonable, rational. I'm going to say nah because it's like, yeah, you're doing something. Yeah.

But also like how long does a wee take? Six seconds? I reckon I've seen this. Like how much Facebook do you need? I reckon I've seen this in bars and pubs and there's a multiple reason why this happens there. First of all, you've had a few drinks so you're a bit like, you know, reckless with the rules.

Yeah. B, because you've had a few beers, you're pissing for like two minutes. Yeah. And C, you're like, oh, where are we going next? Baths are after a few. So you're kind of like planning your night. Yeah. And so I've seen guys like at the you're like, oh, where are we going next? Baz are after a few. So you're kind of like planning your night. And so I've seen guys like at the urinal like, oh, yeah, we'll leave soon.

What are you doing? I'm just taking a piss at the moment. Yeah. But if it's because you're weeing for two minutes but you've had a few beers or whatever, wouldn't you need to be on because – Well, the thing about the urinal, like when it's like the wall, is it's a whole wall to pee on.

Yeah, right. Free swing. Like it's actually the easy – you can't miss it because it's the wall. Yeah. If it was a toilet or like the small like singular – The egg ones. Yeah, the egg. Then maybe.

Right. But when it's the whole wall, I mean, I've seen people stand to the other side of the room and just like, you know, what's your name, sweetheart? I'll write it in. Especially when you're like the football. Yeah, right. There's like 80,000 blokes that all had five beers

and it just gets a bit rowdy in there. Right. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to say nah only because I would say that generally speaking it's like how short is your attention span that you can't concentrate on that for six seconds. Yeah, and maybe it's a good thing to concentrate on. I think so.

Especially if you don't want to drop your phone and like. Yeah, or like weigh on your pants or all over your hands or something. I'll tell you what will never not be funny. In a packed men's bathroom where everyone's peeing. So, you know, you're usually just like under your flyer. Do you undo the button? Some do, some don't. Do you?

I'm just trying to think. Today's when I wasn't wearing elastic pants. If you're wearing elastic pants, do you have to pull them all the way down? Well, not all, just like under your, you know, just like At the front? Yeah But do they go down over your bum and stuff? They stay up on your bum

Oh, okay But this is my thing that will never not be funny Okay It's like a packed men's room, everyone's had a few beers And someone just walks up to like the piss tray And pulls their pants and underwear down to their ankles Do people actually do that? It's so funny

But is it a joke? Yeah Oh, okay their pants and underwear down to their ankles. Do people actually do that? It's so funny. But is it a joke? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. But they'll just like play it cool. Yeah. And then everyone's just like kissing their face. Have you ever done it?

No, I don't have the physique or the cheeks to, you know. I mean, it takes confidence. Oh, yeah, and you've got to have a cute bum. Yeah, and I don't want to, I mean, draw attention to myself when I'm peeing because it's a very vulnerable position. Well, that's the thing. I just, I am so fascinated by a urinal. Because in high school, like, people would, like, push you forward

and you can't put your hands out because it's a piss tray and you're still peeing so you can't, like, turn around and push them back. So it's like, you know, can be brutal. I'm like, that's awful. Yeah. Are you okay? Yeah. I'd never copped anything like that.

Were you the pusher? No. I was the innocent bystander. Hey, mate, the standard you walk past is the standard you accept. Ryan was a bully. I definitely wasn't. Can you imagine me being a bully going, oh, you're an asshole. And then they just like push me back and I'm like, please don't hurt me.

Ace. Ventura. No, Bacia. Oh, close. Close. Normal or nah? Washing your dishes really well with soap before putting them in the dishwasher. In brackets, why do I even have a dishwasher?

the dishwasher. In brackets, why do I even have a dishwasher? This, there's issues here for you. I don't trust dishwashers. No, but you also hate doing things. Yep. This conflicts with a few different beliefs. I'll always rinse them.

I always rinse dishes before. And I know that it's worse, it's like worse for the dishwasher to do that. I still do this as well. Bridget is always like, why are you doing it? How could it be worse? How could it be worse? How could it be worse?

That's what I want to know. It doesn't make sense. Like that physically, scientifically, emotionally doesn't make sense. And if there's a big chunk of sauce or like spaghetti bolognese, is that then not going to just mix through all the other shit? And then you pull everything out and your coffee cup's got sauce on it. Your fork's got sauce on it. Just rinse it. I'm with you. I'm with you. And then you pull everything out and your coffee cup's got sauce on it. Your fork's got sauce on it. Just rinse it.

I'm with you. I'm with you. So, you know. But fully washing I probably wouldn't do. But if I was fully washing by hand, I'd rather just do that and not put them in the dishwasher at all and then just dry them and put them away. You are on the record of not trusting dishwashers.

Yeah. But then also as someone who has like definitely in the past like left washing in the machine a bit too long and then gone, that's going to have to go around again when it probably didn't. Yeah. Then I can imagine washing all the dishes and then going, I don't want to put these fuckers away. Yeah, I don't want to have to unstack the dishwasher.

I'm just going to cut out the middleman and put this pot straight back in the drawer. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, I'm with you on that one. Santa. Hi, Santa. It's S like apostrophe A-N-N-A. Is that Santa?

Maybe Shana or something? Shana. Maybe Shana. Am I too fat or is this normal? Is it normal to pre-game food? You know how we talked about pre-drinks last week? She pre-eats. Like when you're invited to someone's house for dinner,

you think they might judge you if you ask for seconds, so you just have a quick meal before you go. That is so relatable. Normal or nah? I don't want to say normal but i'm not saying so i'm not gonna say i don't do it all the time but i'm not hating what i'm hearing yeah but i definitely or like you know when you've got that friend who like you know that they never order enough food yeah or whatever and you go fuck they've never got enough stuff

or if you're going to a party, you're like, they're only going to have canapes, it's not going to be enough. I have definitely had like a bowl of cereal or a sandwich before going out for dinner. I have absolutely done that. But also sometimes because I love being the victim, how good is it when you go to someone's house, they don't feed you enough and then on the way home you've got

to get a little cheeseburger. Yeah, I was just about to say that. I was just about to say that. I was just about to say that. And especially Macca's on the way home from a wedding. Oh. There's nothing better. Okay, so to answer Santa's question, I'm not a pre-gamer, a pre-eater, but I'm a post-eater.

Yeah, I like a post-eater. The chances of me, like more often than not, Bridget would just go, cheesy on the way home? You're fucking righto. Yeah. It'd be rude not to. Yeah. And like I said, you go to that restaurant,

they've got the fancy little food and you're like, oh, it was a beautiful evening. It was a lovely experience. Meal's a little small. Yeah. I know what will take care of this issue. To be honest, even if the meal's not a little small. Yeah, there's always room.

If there's not room for cheesy, you're not breathing. So I went to the, what was it, like the Ronald McDonald Ball. So I don't know if it's a thing in other countries, but in Australia, McDonald's has the Ronald McDonald houses, which are like these big accommodation facilities next to children's hospitals. So if your child is unwell and you don't live near the hospital, you can actually stay next door for a few nights.

Like if you live regionally. Yeah, and like imagine driving two hours to see your kid driving home and I'll be back in the morning. We're going to drive two hours, sleep for an hour, drive two hours. So there's the Ronald McDonald House and provides accommodation. It's incredible. So we're at the Ronald McDonald Ball, which raises money for this thing. Yeah.

Yeah. I think I was like emceeing or hosting it or something. Oh, cool. Because I was involved with a radio station. Was a sponsor as well. So we said, yeah, we're happy to give our time and come down and be part of it. And so when we left, it was at the Canberra

Convention Centre or something. And so in the foyer, while everyone was in the convention centre having dinner, they've gone, hey, local Maccas, can you bring down a thousand cheeseburgers? My nipples just got hard. Yeah. So when we left the venue, like you opened the door and they're like, oh, thanks for coming, sir.

Cheesy for the road. And you're like, I think Bridget cried. I think I would as well. Have you seen the photo? Yes. Yeah. So we're walking because you walk in on the red carpet. You walk out on the red carpet and there's a photo of me and Bridge just with cheeseburgers on a red carpet,

stuffing our faces, falling out of this joint. And I'm like. After heaps of free wine. Yeah. Turn it up, dog. No, that's not. You know, weddings have started doing that. Yeah.

Like at midnight they'll crack out the cheeseburgers or like a toasted sandwich maker for like toasted cheese sandwiches. There's nothing. After a big night, nothing like it. I think people have come to, and weddings are a perfect example. You have the beautiful little fish dish and like a fancy little like, what are those little biscuit things that are dessert? Meringue?

No. Macaron. You get a macaron. It looks beautiful. But it's air. It's fucking nothing. It's like popcorn. It's not food.

It's air. And I think by this stage of the evening, like, hey, you've got your photos done. You look beautiful. I believe that you are a fancy human or whatever you're trying to be because you spent $100,000. Yeah. Cool story, bro.

Where are the sausage rolls? Yeah. But they're all doing that, right? Yeah. Spending $100,000 on the wedding and then just getting fucking blind and, like, dancing to Cotton Eye Joe? Like, who are you trying to prove? Who are you trying to prove?

What are you trying to prove to who? Who's this for? I know you're going to be crying over your brand new husband in the bathroom in five minutes. Yeah, I know he's not going to give a shit about you because he's seen the cheese toast, the brevels come out, and he's like, oh, who's she? Mate, put double cheese. It's my wedding day.

Whose wedding is this? You're going to put one slice of cheese in my Breville on my wedding day? I paid $100,000 for this wedding. Hey, it's Hazel from Barnum, the UK, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout-out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. You fucking love to see it. Thanks for hanging out with us. They all watched a few live streams that we've done.

There'll be another one this weekend. Oh, shit, it is too. Halloween, you. Halloween. Mrs. Nay Nay Bee. Thank you so much. We spoke to Mrs. Nay Nay Bee. We did.

The other week. The other week. Rebecca O'Brien. Chicken wangs. Chicken wangs. Jasmine Kehoe. Excuse me? Is it Jasmine? Wow. Neil Barang. Jasmine Kehoe. Excuse me? Is it Jasmine? Wow.

Neil Barham, Jake Harnish, Jamie, Jenny Pinnock, Melissa Silver. Oh, Melissa Gold. Matthew Watson, Michael Scanlan. Like Scanpan, like the really nice pop brand. I like Scandalands. Kyle Scandalands. Constantino and Tanya Panik. Is it the Constantino? No,ands. Constantino and Tanya Panik. Thank you. Is it the Constantino?

No, that's Consentino, I think. This is Constantino. My mistake. All right, Toni. An easy mistake to make. Sorry, I'll just point out I'm the Constantino. Just so you don't feel bad. How much stuff do you have in your freezer that's just been sitting there for ages?

So much stuff. What's been there for ages? So much time. What's been there the longest? Probably, oh, my God, I've got two things spring to mind instantly. One, a few months ago, probably fucking a bit longer than that, Torbs and I decided we're like, oh, fuck this, we're going to get hot. Yeah. And we ordered one of those like it was called like beef fit food or something okay yeah and it's like the ready high protein low

carb yeah all that shit yeah and you eat that and you have a piece of celery at like recess time and afternoon tea and then you eat these meals and drink six liters of water and it's like actual food instead of like doing meal replacement shakes or fucking whatever. I got sucked in by an Instagram ad. We ordered a week's worth of food. We did it for two days, I think. I'm pretty sure you discussed having Hux the Burger on the Monday night. That was a different meal replacement thing.

That one didn't go in the freezer. That one's just like tucked away at the back of the cupboard. But, yeah, like there are so many meals in there. Yeah. And we kind of have to just like every time we take rubbish down, we've got to like take a couple. Yeah, you're just weaning yourself out. Yeah, because we can't like throw them all out at once

because that would be admitting defeat. Yeah, so I hate wasting food. Yeah. And I think, yeah, I've mentioned this before. But it gets freezer burned and fucked and... So when we finish dinner and I always go, oh, don't throw that out. Like there's enough there for a lunch. And then you put it in the fridge and it goes off in two weeks

and you've got to throw it out anyway. So what do I do? Oh, we don't want to waste it. We'll put it in the freezer. And then five years later you're like, oh, remember that time we... Or you're like, what's this green thing you made? Yeah. So I feel is, and I feel like it's pretty common. That's like in the bottom of people's freezers. Like I couldn't even tell you

what's in there. But you open it up and it's got like all the ice on the inside and you're like, what the fuck was that? Do you guys not do leftovers for lunch? Yeah, we try to. So I'll make Bridget a, like I'll pack her a lunch cause I do like the clean up, wash up. So after we've had dinner, I'll like make her a container for her to take to work the next day. Yeah, because that's what we, we always like cook enough for dinner

so that we've got lunch the next day, which is like, I reckon a life hack. But then sometimes you don't have the lunch the next day and they start, and then there's a backlog and it just ruins everything. Oh, we always do. Yeah, I know because I come in here and I'm like, hey, Tony, who breeds?

And you're like, no, I've brought my lunch. And I'm like, yeah, so have I. So kebabs? Yeah, so are you keen? So a friend, Joel, of mine, he's helping us move into the new house. Oh, into the Beyonce Airbnb. Into the Beyonce Airbnb. And I said, oh, you know, there's the garage there.

Oh, that's where we'll put the deep freezer because I'm a Bogan. Because, you know, we've talked about it on the show before, that, you know, the Bogans have the deep freezer. Were you being serious? I was sort of joking. But then also you're like, well, it wouldn't be bad for the margarita mix on Christmas Day, the margarita bucket. Yeah, Dad would bring that around.

Yeah. That would probably work. But, you know, Joel and I get along really well. It's always like, you know, fun and happy and laughing. But as soon as I said deep freezer. Because he's like a stylist and he's a good friend of yours. So I imagine that it was like, oh, you know, like casually we'll go through, deal with all the things that we want to do.

But then you've mentioned Deep Freezer. And he went as white as a ghost. And his partner, Sean, was there. So like Joel's gone white. Then I looked over at Sean and Sean's like, don't mention deep freezers. And I was like – Like, because they're not stylish? What the – well, that's what I thought.

I was like, oh, is it – and I mean – You're like, oh, we'll put some marble contact paper on the outside. I'll put some stickers on it, Joel. I'll dress it up. Yeah, yeah. It's a Christmas freezer. Put some stickers on it, Joel. I'll dress it up.

Yeah, yeah. It's a Christmas freezer. So Joel leans in and goes, do you want me to tell you why deep freezers give me a bit of the ick? Because if I tell you, then you'll know this forever. What? Yeah. So I'm unsure about what's happened.

I'm like, wow, you've hooked me in, dog. I need to know now. So his uncle, a few years back, he's hanging out one day and his mate drops around. Do I want to hear this? So you can't unhear it, but maybe you could give me and all of the tapas that are listening a chance to not hear it. Are you sure you want to tell this story? Okay.

A problem shared is a problem halved. No, it's a problem multiplied. More people have to worry about it. So Joel leans in and he goes, my uncle, he's good mate, lives down the road, and he goes, we're going away for a few weeks. Can you look after the dog? Pretty standard? Pretty standard practice.

The dog's getting on a bit though. It's an older dog. Oh. So I think they went around Asia for about a month and during that month the dog died. Of course. He was an old dog. Of course.

Wouldn't you feel horrible if another person's, even if they were old and they were due to die anyway, but dying on your watch? But imagine if. You looked after BJ and then you had to call me and say he's died. And say I've got, yeah. Like how fucking awful. Awful situation.

So he speaks to the friend and goes, the dog's died. I'm so sorry. We didn't, like nothing happened. He just. So was, sorry, was Joel looking after the dog? No, it was Joel's uncle. Joel's uncle. Right.

Sorry, was Joel looking after the dog? No, it was Joel's uncle. Joel's uncle. Yeah. Right. And so he goes, so what do you want me to do with the body? Like there's a dead dog like in the back. Take it to the vet so that they can like cremate it or something. I don't think that's how it works because they don't just like take the body.

Yes, they do. Do they? Yeah. Because my friends are like buried take the body. Yes, they do. Do they? Yeah. Because my friends are like buried in the backyard. Well, you can do that. Like, of course, you could do whatever you want, but surely you would just go, cool, take it to the vet and like they will look after it.

So the people who were away were like, I think we might want to do something nice. So we'll be back in a few weeks. No, you won't. Can you just like chuck it in the freezer? Move the old ice cream out of the way. So they put the, they put the dog in the bag and put it in the deep freeze and they go, yeah, we might do something nice when we get back. So I think something else happened in the family. So once they got back, they had to attend to something else or whatever. So they didn't end up coming around and getting the dog for like,

it had been a while. So Fido's in there with your old B-Fit food and your... And enough time has passed that the uncle and the former dog owner have kind of just forgotten about it and moved on. So the dog's just in the freezer. the uncle and the former dog owner, I've kind of just forgotten about it and moved on. So the dog's just in the freezer. How could you forget about your dead dog? I don't know. Literally like I cried saying goodbye to Pippa this morning for work.

Did you? You're going to be home in like an hour. Yeah, but just me saying. So I don't think there was much else in there And it was like in the garage And it was just very easy to forget It's not like you're in and out of the freezer And you keep saying Oh fuck I'll do something about that dog

Yeah it's not the freezer in the kitchen Where you know you're getting But the way Joel described it I don't think they used it Like it was just in the You know one of those houses That had a freezer in the garage And it was plugged in and fucking whatever

No but not even But like how do you forget Like as the This isn't on Joel's uncle I'm saying the owners How how could they forget about? Well, how many things have you forgotten about in your freezer? Who are we to judge? We just had a conversation about, yeah, I mean, there's stuff in there.

I couldn't even tell you what it is. But when I open it up, it haunts me, all the health food that's in there. Yeah, in this story, the most haunting thing to be in a freezer is health food. Or like old fruit from when you decide you're going to do smoothies every morning. So a year later. No. A year?

Yeah, because they don't use the freezer at all. It's just in the garage. And so Joel's uncle's like. This cannot be true. You're fucking kidding me. A year passed. And he's like, I think they might have been moving house. And they're like, we never used the deep freezer.

We'll sell it. I thought you were about to say that they turned it off to defrost. Well, so this guy goes on Facebook Marketplace, and it's just one of those old ones that sit in there and it's just like, oh, if you can come and take it, it's yours. Just come pick it up. It's a bit old and shit. You're doing us a favour by taking it.

It still works. Why wouldn't they even open it up and check? This is not a, there's no way. So the person comes and picks it up, takes it to their house, plugs it in. So they didn't even lift it up and open it up? Well, I think there was just a few, like, just bags, and they just didn't notice. Like, it's in a plastic, you know, it's not just, like, sitting there.

It's in a plastic bag. Oh, yeah. And so they get home, they plug it in, and, you know, the uncle's like, let me know if you make it home all right. Yeah, we'll do. So he gets his text later in the day and it's like, hey, mate, thanks for the freezer. Made it home safe.

Plugged it in. It all works well. Just a quick one. Are you aware there's a dog in the freezer? And then Joel's uncle goes, oh, fuck. I totally forgot about that. Yeah, I'm real sorry. And the guy's like, yeah, that's pretty fucked, dude.

Also, what am I supposed to do with it now? And he's like, well, I don't really want to come again. It's not even my dog. It's like my mate. Like, I don't want it. And he's like, yeah, like, neither do we. Obviously. Sorry, but he said, you said he sent you a text.

Hey, bro, love the freezer. So good. Thanks for the stickers on the front. By the way, by the way. Just thought I'd mention. But there's a dog in here. Yeah. So then what?

Okay. Now this bit is going to fuck you off, and I just want you to know that it fucked me off as well. Okay. So I think Joel's uncle is like one of those uncles you probably see at a birthday and at Christmas. Yep. Everyone's nice, blah, blah, blah. We've got busy lives.

Don't catch up that often. Yep. So this must have happened mid-December. And so Joel's uncle tells Joel this story on Christmas Day. How old would Joel have been? Just like last year. Oh, my God. And so I go.

I thought you were saying this happened fucking 20 years ago. No, this is recent. No, mate. And so I say to Joel, well, what happened? And then Joel just says, oh, well, last time I spoke to my uncle, that's where he was up to and I don't know what happened after that. I was like, did you not call Daly and need closure? And so I had all these questions and he goes, yeah, no,

I got the same questions. What? I was like, well, ask them, bro. I was like, what's your uncle's number? Let's call him right now. I need to know where that dog is. What the fuck? This is like when I watched that Zodiac movie.

Yep. You watch it and then there's no ending. Yeah. Yeah. With Jake Gyllenhaal. And then who was the killer? Dunno. Yeah, they don't know either.

Lol. It's got to sleep tight. What the fuck? Yeah. That is such a weird story. Yeah. So Joel, who's helping style the house, there will be no deep freezes. No deep freezes.

And he's like, and I will not look after your dog. No. Is that too dark for the pot? No. Oh, my God. I just, I can't believe that's a real story. That the people literally forgot about the dog. Yeah.

I guess I. And now I understand why Joel went white when I said. About the deep freezer. Oh, the deep freezer. And he's like, don't laugh about that. I guess I do understand like the people that were traveling around Asia, they probably grieved the dog while they were away. But I just can't imagine forgetting about it by the time you got home.

Yeah. That like doesn't add up to me. No. Like, I still think about my dog, Zach, every day. He passed away 15 years ago. Oh, every day. Well, every time I go, I think, like I say, beads, and he's really cute, and I think about Zach,

and then we go to the dog park, because Zach was a staffie. There's a lot of staffies in my area. Always, yeah. And I go, he looks like Zach. And not in a sad way, but I'm just like, I'll never forget him because we were mates. Yeah. But like, I'd know if he was in a freezer.

That's what I'm thinking. You know, it's not old food. No, no. It's not ice from three years ago. Was that the casserole or was that the beef? I know that was Zach, the staffy. Dog died? No.

Then what? Oh, my God. Okay. Have you got a little love to say to pick us up? Yeah. Because I can feel like this is a. I do. I have quite a heartwarming one, thank God.

Thank God. This is a message, a comment, sorry, from Jane, who is a tarpard, Tony and Ryan podcaster in our Facebook group, which you can join the links in our show notes. My love to see it is I found a way to stay connected and bonded with my adult son. Oh, that's nice. We started a podcast.

Cool. We'd always been close when he was little, but years ago when he was in high school, you know, you go through fucking high school stuff. You're an angsty teen. Exactly. And they struggled with communicating and having a connection. And Jane says, I was very worried during that time.

And when he moved out after graduation, I was worried we might struggle maintaining a close relationship because we'd already kind of drifted apart. Yeah. And I don't have a very close relationship with my family. So having a bond with him was really, really important. Absolutely. And now that we have a podcast together, we text daily, talk multiple times a week, and spend quality time sharing stories with each other. That's beautiful. Isn't that the nicest thing?

Like, what a beautiful mother and son thing to do together. And nothing brings people together closer than doing a podcast. The reason I agreed to do this podcast with you is because I was like, oh, I want to get close to her. Yeah, I want to put my dog in her freezer if you know what I mean. Shit. That is not something we are going to say. That is not.

No. It's too soon. Do you think? Not too soon. Any time is too soon. In 100 years, that would be too soon. Sorry. Sorry. Fuck.

Sorry. I just said it. I'm really sorry. That's fucking... No. No. Too much. Too much from me.

Please. And I'm talking to the little woot. I'm talking to the twig. Do not let this become a thing. Okay. Well, I'll stop talking then. Well, what I was trying to say is it doesn't even matter what I was going to. I had a shit joke to say and it doesn't matter anymore.

All jokes are cancelled. Jane, thanks so much for sharing that. I'll find out what the podcast is called. Please send it through. And we'll share it. Is there much dog freezer gear on their pod? I can say with 100% sincerity that no. I don't know what it's about.

Don't know what it's called. Don't know who's on it. Someone please, this weekend, what day is it today? Thursday. Go out on the weekend and try and pick someone up with that line. Hey, mate, how you doing? You're single. Do you want to come back to my place?

Put your dog in my freezer. Was Bridget there when Joel told the story? Yeah. You should say it to Bridget. I'll try to call her right now. I'll put on that speaker. You have to do it in a sexy way. Hello?

Hey, you're on the podcast. Oh, I'm talking. I was just talking about Joel's uncle with the dog in the freezer. Yeah. And Tony has a new pickup line. So I thought I'd try it on you. Oh, gosh. Okay, let me have it.

Oh. Sounds like I've already succeeded. When I come home after the show today, how about I put my dog in your freezer? Stop it. It doesn't even make any sense. Oh, Bridget, it's not the time for logistics. It doesn't make sense at all.

What? The squeaking you can hear is Bridget laughing, thank God. Is that a yes? You're already married, right? If that's what you've got to work. Lucky I'm already married, right? If that's what you've got to work. Lucky I'm already married, she said. You don't think that would work if we were, you know, new in the game? All right, I'll let you go, but there's something to think about. Yeah, have a think, Bree.

Mull it over. Don't answer straight away. Okay. You love to say that. Is that your you love to say it for today, that that's worked on your wife? Wow, I know what I'm doing this hour. Yeah, mate, clear all your meetings.

Oh, sorry, I won't be able to meet with you guys. Oh, is everything okay? Yeah, I'm just going to put my dead dog in my wife's freezer. Oh, my God. That is harrowing. I will give you that. That is a lot. All right.

What do you call it when you don't every year you have to like, you're supposed to like, what's that thing where you're like, because you know how icicles grow and you're like. Yeah, we're supposed to like defrost the freezer. Defrost it, yeah. D-dog. Dog frost. I've defrosted the freezer.

Get ready to put your dead dog. I know I do have you love to see it. And it is Pop Rocks. The candy? Yeah. Do you like Pop Rocks? I don't think I've ever had any. So it's the one, it pops in your mouth.

Yeah. Yeah, like I've had that popping candy and chocolate and stuff. So, no, that's my specific you love to see it is because Cadbury. The marvellous creations. Yeah. They've done it for a while, but I was reminded yesterday of the glory that is the marvellous creations that Cadbury do. Did you buy one at Servo?

Yeah. Were you at a Servo and you bought one of them? Yeah, I walked past and I was like, that is a bit of me. You know what always gets me? Yeah? A Twix. Twixes are great. Twixes are fucking elite.

So my go-to would be a Kit Kat or a Twix. Kit Kat Chunky? Yeah. Sorry. What a fucking elite. So my go-to would be a Kit Kat or a Twix. Kit Kat Chunky? Yeah. Sorry. Sorry, what a stupid question. But they didn't have any. And then I looked down and I was like, is that a Pop Rocks Marvelous Creation? Nice.

And then I bit into it and I was like, these are fucking great. The only thing I'll say about the Marvelous Creations is that if you get like a big block, I hate that all of the blocks aren't the same size. And they're weird shapes. It's weird shapes. So you can't just like crack off like a little bit. You've got to kind of like. There's no clean break.

And if you're sharing it with someone, you never get like the same amount. No, and you feel like an arsehole because you're broken. And you obviously give yourself the big bit. Yeah, of course. Yeah, so that's the only thing that I'll say I don't think that is great. But you do love to see that. You do love to see that. Thank you.

Thank you. Tomorrow on the show. Fuck, another big day. An update from what I do this afternoon. I'll report back. Tell you if any big dogs end up in the freezer. Oh, my God. Thanks for listening.

See you tomorrow for the video show. Video show tomorrow. Oh, love you. Thanks for listening. See you tomorrow for the video show. Video show tomorrow. Oh, love you. See you tomorrow. I'm actually crying. That is fucked. Okay. All right.

We have to go and repent our sins. Love you, bye.