Toni and Ryan - The Best Weekend Of The Year

Episode Date: April 5, 2023

I'm a sucker for a long weekend - and I will NOT apologise for that 😂 we're off for the weekend and back on Tuesday. Stay safe! Love ya xxx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the podcast. I'm Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge. Good morning. And we are calling Jill, who is in the UK. Jill. Oh, UK, hun. West Lothian in Scotland. West Lothian. Oh. Oh.

Hello? Hi, Jill. Hello? Hi, Jill. It's Tony and Ryan. Hello? Hello? Oh, my God.

Hello. Oh, hi. How are you going? Hello? Hello? Thank you so much for taking our call. Oh, Jill. Oh, hi. How are you going? Hello. Thank you so much for taking our call. Oh, Jill. Oh, my God. I don't think we've ever had a worse time delay than we do right now.

But, Jill, I've just wanted to say. Jill, will you approve the podcast? I would love to. Well, we got what we needed. We got what we needed. Oh, Jill, we've just ended Daylight Savings here, so I feel like maybe we're... Yeah, there's an hour gap between me talking and you hearing it.

The phones are trying to catch up, Jill. That's the problem. Hi, this is Jill from Whistlebeam in Scotland, and I approve this podcast. Welcome to the podcast. Hello. And welcome to Holy Thursday, which when I was younger, I truly believed and I stand by it, is the second biggest party night of the year after New Year's Eve. Do you reckon?

Because most people in the Western world have the day off tomorrow. There's no surgeries, there's no work, there's no school. No surgeries? Why were surgeries the first thing you went to there? It's pretty rare. There's not many days in the year when there's no surgeries. That means doctors, nurses, hospitals. Everyone's got the day off and stuff.

I see what you mean. Yep. Actually, the reason that's a big thing for me is i went and partied with a lot of doctors one year the night before australia day and this was like because they've all got different shifts it's like the only time they can get together as a whole because no one has to do surgery tomorrow because it's a public holiday right for january 26 yeah because usually like there's even other days it's still like surgeries. Right, for January 26th. Yeah, because usually, like, there's even other days that still, like, surgery's on. So for some reason in my mind, it's stuck. There was no surgery on that day.

No surgery on Friday. So holy Friday. Sorry, holy Thursday. I mean, it's a holy time, isn't it? It's a holy time. And coming up today, you're going to hear why Easter is such a special time for Miss Doctor Author Tony Louise Lodge. Mm-hmm.

I love Easter. I'm so barred up for Easter. Like, you've got no fucking idea. I do have an idea. I feel like I'm excited for the rest of the tapas to get an idea. And I have on purpose, like, not told Ryan much about, like... You said something to me and I went, that sounds a bit fucking weird.

Maybe let's talk about that on Holy Thursday. And to be honest, I don't know how it's never come up between us before. This is our first Easter together. Well, it can't be. But we didn't use to have Friday episodes and stuff. But also, we weren't working full time together. So it probably wouldn't have come up.

Well, Tony... Am I right in telling you it's the favourite weekend of the year? Probably, yeah. Yeah, I reckon that would be Correctamundo. All right, FYI. I don't know why I just said Correctamundo. Did I turn into the Fonz? I'm so pumped.

No, it's because Easter's on the way and that's the mood you're in. Yeah, I'm a feaster for Easter. FYI, no new show tomorrow or Easter Monday, but we'll be back on Tuesday. Let's get into normal or nah. Jmog. Hey, Jmog. Jmog says, I'm Australian and my American boy is weird as fuck. He says peeing at a urinal is not only a one-handed job.

He's wrong. It's two. But also. Is that what Julia, what Jmog said? That's what Jmog said. That's not a Ryan editorial. I was going to say, is that a bit of editing for me? So not only is he wrong there, says J-Mogg,

but he also doesn't shake before he puts it away after peeing. And I quote, that's what the underwear is for, to catch everything else, including the dribbles. He's so hot, but he's so fucking dumb. And it does my head in. Is he normal or nah? Am I allowed to have an opinion?

As a non-penis haver? Okay. As a conveyor of dick. I mean. Yeah. I can know about it and not have one. Yeah. Mate, don't tell me you haven't had one.

What do you think the four days off is for? Put it in my cave for four days. Come out the other end alive. Hope so. He is risen. Sorry. Sorry, we'll get to those. Things you can say at Easter and also at the bedroom.

Surely we did that twice. We must have. We must have. Check out my eggs. Mail me to the cast. Hang on, sorry. Back to the serious advice. Of course.

I probably can't comment on whether it's a one or two-handed job yeah but the underwear catching the wee wouldn't they stink yeah and also wouldn't it be like because we is like caustic like it's like acidic right so like wouldn't it be uncomfortable to have wee like rubbing on your doodle yeah sorry for saying doodle thank you for apologizing because that was fucking weird um but yeah well hey but even like you know how like a little bit of moisture in this case urine like then it would just become all a bit clammy and foggy yeah a bit clammy don't say clammy yeah sorry about that um jaymog your boy as hot as you claim he is, I agree, is fucked. Not normal.

No, it is gross. Yeah, I didn't even think of the smell. It would smell, I reckon. And I just think it would be itchy and uncomfortable. That happens early in the day and then by the end of the day, the only thing that smells worse than urine is old, stale urine. You know when a dog pissed on the floor two days ago? Yeah, yeah.

I just reckon it would be really uncomfortable. I just think, but I don't know because I don't. But do you know, as a vagina-haver, you know what's really like shit? Is like if you go to the bathroom, like public bathroom or whatever, and there's no toilet paper. You don't need to tell me about the pain of this. Oh, actually, yeah, good point. But right now we're strictly talking about wee-wees.

Sure. Because you can't really, like... Wiggle it. You can wiggle... For those playing along at home, Tony's wiggling in her chair. Well, you can wiggle it as much as you want, but it's not really like... It's not the same. No.

And so there's obviously... I don't think there'd be anybody that would be listening that would be like oh yep i've definitely been like yep i'm gonna have to just pull my nickies up and maybe head home sooner than i intended or like maybe swing by the kmart grab a little pair of nickies on the way i've done that before yeah because i've been like you know what this is just going to be uncomfortable all day um okay yeah that's because once you've done it you can't undo it. It's wet. Yep. You know?

Yep. There's wheeze in there. Absolutely. Anyway. Barbara. Barbara, please. I don't have a last name because I was told to not mention them. Oh, okay.

So please respect that. So please don't say anything. Barbara asks, is it normal to feel uncomfortable pooping in your own home when there's visitors or trades people in the house? As I'm typing this, there is a pest control person here

and as a lactose intolerant person who enjoyed some cheesy pasta last night, I am freaking out. Is this normal or am I allowed to poo? Please let me know quickly. Barbara did comment this five days ago i hope she hasn't been like she's waiting for our advice normal or not i think feeling uncomfortable about pooing when there's people over that's normal yeah because you just like when you especially when

you're at home i feel like and i think this is like a lovely thing but you know when you're at home and you like don't have your wits about you? Yeah. Like you let your guard down? Absolutely. You're at home. Where else in the world can you be relaxed? And so you kind of might like let out a little fart or whatever

and you go, well, we've got people over. I can't be letting out little farts. And then when you go to the toilet and you're like, oh, normally when I'm in here I can just like sit in here for as long as I want or like go on my phone or whatever. But when there's people over and you're like oh normally when i'm in here i can just like sit in here for as long as i want or like go on my phone or whatever but when there's people over you're like um i've also had trades people over before and like really needed to poo and like they then needed to they were like oh i'm just working outside so don't worry like don't worry about me like i'm just doing my thing um and then i was like oh well i'm just like working from home or whatever I was doing.

And then I needed to poo. And then they were like, I just need to go get something from my car. But like, I need your keys to like for you to let me back in or whatever. And then I was like, oh. Are you sitting in the toilet? So I'm in the toilet panicking. I'm like, oh, my keys. Just a second.

Yeah, they're just in my bag. Like, I'll come, you know. And it's always the people that you don't really have, like, a rapport with that you can't. It's so, like, it's like you need to prepare for every outcome before you sit down and talk. Like, I'm going to be sitting on the toilet for two or three minutes. Yeah. If you need the keys, if you need water, if you need anything. And then you go, okay, I've just said that.

So surely if I go now and I come back and you're trying to like time it right, then you're like holding off for an hour. Then you're like, all right, finally I'll go. Then you're like, oh, just a quick question. Yeah, just a quick thing. Have you ever done like the emergency poo when you're waiting for Uber Eats to come or you're in the toilet and then like Australia Post knocks on the door and you're like, don't take the parcel.

I'm here. I'm here. But you know like, don't take the parcel. I'm here. I'm here. Like, but I, you know. Oh, that's the worst. Especially when you've been waiting for something like all day and then you're like, fuck, the second I turn my back. Do you reckon, you know those little signs that it's like no junk mail? Yeah.

I love junk mail. I hate living in an apartment because you don't get any catalogs. Do they still do catalogs. Do they still do catalogs? Do they? I hate not getting them. I love looking through a catalog. I love it. There's something about the smell of that shiny

paper and like looking at what's on at Woolies this week. I love it. Do you know what I've had to replace it with? The free magazine that the Coles check out. And every no, that's awful. And every week they bring out a new one because my boyfriend, Torbs, does all of our food shopping. So he does all of the food shopping.

Yep. He does all of the cooking. This isn't about that. Yeah, you love getting it. Oh, they've got some steaks for $4.95. Yeah, because wouldn't it be great if he bought them and cooked them for me? For so cheap. Of all the entertaining things on the internet,

Netflix is bringing out five new shows a week all year round. I love a catalogue. And I always, so Torbs will always bring me home that free magazine from Carlson. I go, oh, those chicken skewers, Mike Cook does. You never do. And you end up with all the magazines. Okay.

So last week or a few weeks ago now when I had COVID, I was like, oh, Bridge, can you get me Men's Health, GQ, Rolling Stone, Mari, just get me a bunch of newspapers. And you were like, oh, who's reading magazines? It's 2023. And here you are, too cool for magazines, but cool enough for a Coles brochure. The free Coles magazine.

You've got to get your bro to do it. You're out of control. They do like holiday themed recipes and they always do like, what to do with your leftover hot cross buns and stuff. I love it. Yeah, eat the hot cross buns. Who's ever left a hot cross bun in the bag?

I can tell you who hasn't. Tony fucking Lodge. I always buy two bags. It's like, these are my leftover cooking ones. These are the ones I'm going to eat for breakfast. It's the same thing. Do you not cook the breakfast? Fucking hell.

I love a catalogue. I do. And I hate that you don't get them in an apartment building. Okay. That's why I want to buy a house. I can't afford one. But I'm going to buy a house. Please, junk mail.

Yes, junk mail is what I'll put on my letterbox. If anyone has said no junk mail, bring it here. Yeah. I'll take it. I'll take six of the same one. All right. What I'm gonna do is Yeah

I'm gonna put a sign on my You know Out of suburbs letterbox Yes And go No junk mail here Please deliver to Tony's house In Richmond

Apartment number Blah blah blah Oh but the kid on his bike Was gonna do Cycle up the fucking Up the eastern Down Jam Highway Down Jam Highway

Oh I'm gonna drop Tony's Wall of his money That's what I said on the fucking By the time the kid gets there Their fucking specials will be over Oh great, last week I could have gotten a really good deal On toilet paper and steaks for $4.95 Now I'm shitting myself

Wiping my ass with my hand Of all the dumb shit you've said I don't even remember what the normal now was I don't either I'm actually crying Pooping How did we get this off? Pooping the tradesmen in their house.

Oh, fuck me up. Tangentable tangents. Finally, Oliver has sent this in on a normal or nah, but it's just a genius move. There's no answer required. Okay. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I've actually figured it out. Sorry. So off-air chat, on-air, Tony would love to buy a house, but the property market is fucked. And so it's kind of like, can't afford a house, do I want to buy an apartment, blah, blah.

Yeah. If you bought a townhouse, it's a affordable but b still has a letterbox so it's the best of both worlds because they can still deliver the mail but it's at apartment prices call me hannah montana i'll do that that's amazing you're welcome oliver the genius says does anyone else give store loyalty cards fake birthday dates so you get little surprises throughout the year? That's a really good idea. I haven't done it, but I will now, because that's fucking good work, Oliver.

Well played. And then you just, yeah. Oh, $10 off a free boost juice today, even though it's March and my birthday's in June or whatever. Genius. That's very good. Oliver also says he enjoys the catalogue. Hi, it's Jill from West Lothian in Scotland

and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Before we get into the champion tapas, during the little music ad approval thing there, we've just had a very in-depth conversation about the beauty of catalogues and using the app to find specials at the supermarket. I'm glad that didn't make it to the show because it was boring as fuck. But it's fair to say Tony and I, while sharing tips, have both saved a fortune on laundry detergent off air in the last minute.

Yeah, dishwashing tablets. Fuck, they do not miss with price, do they? Yeah, no, they don't. They see you coming a mile away. They are so expensive. Yeah, but I don't know. Woolworths app. Woolworths app.

Coles is probably the app as well. It's weird. It's like they put the catalogue into the phone. Because I'm a Coles girl IRL but a Woolworths girl online. Yeah, no, I get that. Is that controversial, do you think? No, I get that. Yeah, because the Woolworths app is great, but Coles in-store is great.

Well, the Coles near me is great. Yeah, because it's walking distance or because it's actually great? No, it's a really good Coles. It is a good Coles. Anyway, massive shout out to our champion, who probably will delete their membership after this. Remember a week or two ago I said this podcast has aged 10 years in 10 minutes? We've gone again.

We're now in our late 40s. Yeah. Fuck. Sticks on fire, thank you so much. Emma Eadie, Immy Gartside, Brian Gluer and Alicia Finger. Finger Alicia. Sorry. Poor Alicia has signed up and she's... Remember

Megan Finger yeah finger me at hotmail.com anyway thank you so much to all of our champion tapas you fucking love to say it thank you just a reminder

no new show tomorrow for Good Friday and Easter Monday we'll be back on Tuesday and we will be back on Tuesday with an exciting announcement actually exciting you know how lots of people

on like Instagram whatever are like exciting announcement like and it's shit. This is very cool. And the announcement isn't coming soon. The announcement is today.

Yep. And it's something that people will- No one will expect or everyone will froth. That's exactly right. Yeah, I was like, how do I find the words for this? It's not something people have asked for. Nope. But when you see it, you'll go, well, why didn't this happen sooner?

It just feels right. And you'll get the catalogue about that on Tuesday. Can we make a catalogue about that? Can we make a catalogue? Producer Cam, write down catalogue. We'll figure out something to do with that. Oh, no, don't. Because as the person that did one term of Photoshop in year 10

and has been then made the graphic designer of our business, this feels like my area. Hey, Producer Cam, how are you with Photoshop? How are you in Photoshop? I think it'll be your job, Ryan. Oh, okay. No, we'll make a catalogue. Okay.

Actually, no, we'll make a catalogue. Okay. Yeah, no. Someone's keen now. I'll do it. But it is Holy Thursday today. It is the second biggest party day of the year. But Tony Lodge, can you please indulge us what the Easter weekend means to you and your family?

So this, I know it sounds really weird. Yep. I love Easter, right? Yep. As a kid at Easter time, my dad and brother would like go away camping, which I think is a pretty standard like long weekend activity. You know, you go away because you've got the Friday off and the Monday off and it's, you know how every year pedestrian daily fucking, pedestrian TV, sorry,

comes out with a thing and it's like how to get 500 days off this year using three days of annual leave or whatever. Because in Australia and New Zealand there's Anzac Day, which is the 25th of April, and sometimes it's close enough where you go, oh, fuck, if we take those two, and then it doubles up with Anzac. If you take two days off, you end up with like 10 days off or whatever. And it's kind of one of those times where it seems like

the most logical thing to do would be like, I'm going to take advantage of this extra two days and go camping. I feel like the other thing that people do on a long weekend in Australia is head to Bunnings. It's a Renault weekend, isn't it? So I said to Bridget that you had plans this weekend, so there will be no work.

Yeah, so you asked me so many times. So we're definitely not working on Friday. I was like, bro, if you call me, I'm throwing my phone in the ocean. Yeah, Tony's off the grid. So Bridget goes, oh, great. Can I get you? So this weekend, I'm doing... Oh, I've made, I've created work for you. I'm clearing out the ocean. Yeah, Tony's off the grid. So Bridget goes, oh, great. Can I get you? So this weekend I'm doing. Oh, I've made, I've created work for you. I'm clearing out the garage. Oh, that sucks.

I'm going to get firewood from Bunnings. Oh, that sucks. And then that's why I'm making room in the garage for the firewood. I have to clean out all the bathroom and I have to go through my wardrobe and throw out all the old clothes I don't wear anymore. And so that's my equivalent of like dad's building a shed. It's like I'm on home duty you're doing you're doing your life admin life and i feel like that's what a lot of people would do

but so my dad would take my brother away camping they'd be away for the whole weekend um and oh when you said my dad took the family camping i assume no my dad took my brother i assume you meant he took you no okay my Okay, right. My dad took my brother. Cool. And mum, my two sisters and I would stay at home without the boys. Oh. Right? So, yeah. Girls weekend. Yeah, actually, you fucking go camping for as long as you want.

Yeah, oh, have a great time, dickheads. You know? Sleeping in the dirt. Yeah, fuck that. And so, literally, we did zero all weekend. And it would be Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, nothing. But what do you do? So we would like go out.

Mum would always take us out for breakfast on Easter Sunday morning. That's nice. We'd go and go to the East Shed Markets in Fremantle. Shout out for anybody in Perth. And we would go to the video shop and we'd get like 10 movies out. Like fucking just get every, yeah. Weeklys. Oh yeah.

No, you're not getting fucking 10 overnighters. My God, I'm not fucking made of money. So is this the similar, and is this translated into? Yeah. So we would just do nothing. And I remember one year mum saying, oh, like someone was like, oh, what are you guys doing for the long weekend? And mum goes, we just veg out all weekend. And I cried because I thought this is the best weekend of the year

and you're going to make me eat vegetables. We're just vegging out, bro. Yeah, I was like, mum, what do you mean? Normally we have fun. You're going to make me eat all this. I want to watch the movies and eat the corn chips. And now I'm eating eggplant. Now you think Tony's overreacting.

I've seen Tony at a pub when they delivered an eggplant parmigiana. And she's not overreacting. No. She doesn't like vegetables. I do like them now. Not only vegetables. But not only vegetables. Yeah, well, and I'm like, mum.

As a side thing. Yeah, I'm like, mum, this is my favourite weekend of the year. And you're going to fuck me over? Like, what are you doing? I'm going to sit here and eat broccoli for four days like a fucking asshole fuck that um and anyway so it's like quite a funny way we learned what veg out meant i was probably like seven when that happened or something and is that when it was explained to you yeah yeah and mom was like no no like that's not what it means like yes we're still eating nachos for dinner and getting kfc because my dad hated kfc so we we were never allowed to

get it when he was home. And so this weekend was like the weekend where we did everything that my dad didn't like. I joked earlier about your dad, like, feel free to go camping for three weeks. Make it three months, mate. Yeah, mate. And sing me Up Dog. Hit me with a wicked wing right where it hurts. Yeah, give me a family bucket of fuck off.

Anyway, so now as an adult, I still like doing that because it's really nostalgic, but also it is the only time of the year where you don't have work tomorrow for four days. No surgeries. There's no work tomorrow. There's still no work tomorrow. Oh, still no work tomorrow.

Still no work tomorrow. Do you have a lazy Sunday? Well, still got Monday. You know? Yeah. And you can just lazy Sunday? Well, still got Monday. You know? Yeah. And you can just let loose the whole time. Yeah. It is so good. It's actually the best.

So what have you got planned? So when I met Torbs, he kind of said to me like, oh, how good is Easter? You don't have work tomorrow for four days. And I went, kindred spirit. I'm well-versed. And he goes, oh, I just love doing nothing. He was like, but my favorite thing is I make this hot cross bun thing.

And I was like, well, what is it? And so he told me that he would cut the top off a hot cross bun and hollow out the middle, a bit like a cob loaf, and put a meatball in there, and put cheese around it, and then put bacon around the outside, and like bake it. That's one of the most controversial things I've ever heard in my life. I don't know, I don't know how, no, hang on. So it's kind of like, it's like.

So it's not, it's obviously savoury now. Yeah, but it's still the sweetness of the hot cross bun. Is he just getting a random meatball? Where's he getting the meatball from? Well, you could just buy meatballs from the Coles Deli, etc. I don't associate hot cross bun with meat. I would associate it with honey or butter. So you know how the pancakes and bacon thing or chicken and waffles thing,

that's kind of where he was going. And I was like, I don't know about that, mate, but now we have it every year. Don't know if either of us like it, but it's like, but we do that every year. Thanks for confirming that you are also not sure if it's good. But I do like the sweet and savoury thing. Like I'm a fan of that. I'll tell you what you do like though.

And we crossed this bridge at Christmas. We didn't quite get there, but we were in the area. You love a tradition. I do love tradition. Yeah. And so we just do it because it's like. And is it Sunday morning or is it just the whole week? Like when does the.

Oh, that's normally Good Friday. Oh, okay. Straight in. Yeah. Oh, actually not supposed to eat meat on Good Friday. You're supposed to only eat fish. Oh, no, it's a fish bowl. We get filet-o-fish from McDonald's.

Anyway, but so we do that. That's like one of the things that normally I, because I would go on the way home from work because I like drive. Torbs doesn't. I'd like go to the shops on the way home and I'd get all his little stuff that he wants for his meatballs. I get six hot cross buns and six meatballs and the girl goes. I got a Subway on the way home.

Anyway, and so I would like get home and I'd be like, oh, I've got all the thing. And so the other thing that we do is we pick like a movie series. So whether it's like Star Wars or like fucking Fast and the Furious or like something with like a lot in it. You couldn't knock out all the Fast and Furious. No, that would take four weeks. You'd have to do the

two days of annual leave to 500 days or whatever to get through all those. Oh, so it's not just binging. It's like we find a... We pick a series of movies. Is it always movies? Yeah.

So it's never like three seasons of... No, because we watch TV all the like year round. Yeah. So it's like a bit different. We don't watch a lot of movies at home. Really? Nah, not really. But yeah yeah so we'll pick like a series of movies or like an actor or something and we'll watch like yeah have you got any um like have you got an inkling like have

you started chatting about what this weekend may bring no but we have talked about the other thing that we do the other day torbs goes oh like almost easter and i was like yeah yeah and he goes we'll have to pick a puzzle we always do a jigsaw puzzle that is so cute so we'll sit on the couch and we pull like our dining table over to the couch or like sit at the table we'll normally move during the weekend yeah um we pull it over to ourselves and we like do a jigsaw puzzle we watch whatever fucking shit movies we're watching also the puzzle happens whilst the movie yeah and we'll watch the movie and you start chipping away yeah and you know how like you kind of sit down at a puzzle for like 20 minutes and you do a bit and then you get frustrated because you still can't figure out where that brown bit goes whatever i can't

i don't know that because i would spend one second looking at it, get really fucking angry and never do a puzzle for the rest of my life. But I can appreciate that. But yeah. Because it takes the whole, usually takes most of the weekend to get the puzzle. Well, yeah, we just kind of chip away at it and then pack it up. Have you got the puzzle? Well, Torbs has ordered one from Amazon.

I haven't seen it yet. I'm very excited though. But he said, oh yeah, you know, I've ordered the puzzle. So he gets the puzzle, you get the meatballs and the hot cross. Fuck, you guys are set. It's very fun. I absolutely love it. I really love it.

And also at most, like a few workplaces I've worked at before. And I mentioned this to you guys the other day, but you'd never heard about it. The Easter hat parade. Oh, sorry, sorry. Producer Cam had heard of it because easter hat parade oh sorry sorry producer cam had heard of it because i think must be a wa thing but we no you said it around me and i was polite and nodded and then someone else said i don't know what that is i was like yeah okay now we're being honest um but i i at my first full-time job in radio i forced them to put on an easter hat

parade so basically it's a thing where like kids at school, you build like or create your own Easter bonnet and you do a big parade and like the best in year three wins a prize, the best in year four wins a prize, whatever. I forced my workplace to put on an Easter hat parade and we got in some bunnies from like the animal shelter. I brought in all these bunnies. We made all this food.

It was amazing. And I made this hat. It is incredible, that hat. We'll post a picture in today's episode thread. How long did that take you to make? About two weeks. So it's the top of it. It's like a big egg in a nest on top of a hat.

And the massive egg is also a piñata. So that was full of chocolate eggs. So that like people smashed off my head and it came off. And that is all paper mache. So it took weeks. So will you and Torbs be doing an Easter hat parade? No. Because I can imagine.

And when you say parade, you mean like a parade, right? Yeah, you like walk around and someone is the adjudicator and picks the best one. So I imagine your French bulldog Pippa sitting on the couch and then the parade starts and like and so um i can be the compare and first up is uh tony felicia lodge and then you walk out yeah because oh yeah not too bad she writes down and then you walk back into the hallway to the bedroom and then and next up is a torpenstein torporone top and then he walks out and she's and then they and then people will confine with the other judges. And I'm like, ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner.

And is there a winner or is it about just participating? Well, the participating is a fun part, but I also like to win because I'm really good at craft. But maybe next year we could do one with everyone at work because we like share an office with a bunch of people. Can you imagine all the footy boys building a little Easter bonnet? Yes, but also, and this is conflicting because you've just told us what you love to do at Easter.

Yeah. Do we find like a public space and have a tarpa Easter hat parade? Yes. Will you leave the house for that? Yes. Well, normally the Easter bonnet, Easter hat parade would happen before Easter anyway. Because then you would go on school holidays, so you couldn't

do it, like, obviously. You're not at school on the weekend. Well, let's do, like, a Holy Thursday night. Okay, well, that's kind of fine. Is it? Maybe. Alright, the weekend before Easter next year, we'll have an Easter hat parade. Fuck yeah! This is the best day of my life! Except for the i mean except for the next

four days i don't have work tomorrow for four days dog i'm fucking i've never been happier all right um i wish you well and not that um not that we were planning on doing much but there was a few times like oh should we just do this or do that and you're like no and it's hard for me to put in a boundary like i really boundaries girl i really struggle because if you went oh can we do this thing i would just go yep like i would never say to you like oh i don't like because i just i'm like people like i want you to be happy so last week we were in adelaide and sydney because we're filming i still call australia home and we've done a few meet and greets next week you're fuck it all makes sense now.

Next week you're going to Alice Springs or was that the week after? No, next week, yeah. To keep filming I Still Call Australia Home. And I remember when we were planning this, I was like, oh, there's Easter here, maybe we could – and you're like – What I actually said was it'll be really expensive to fly that weekend because it's Easter weekend. And then Ryan goes –

I mean, you're not wrong, but – then Ryan goes, oh, yeah, good point. Like, yeah, that is a good point. And then like an hour later, I was like, I think that. I never leave an Easter. Sike. No, I think that you and I were at my house and Torb's got home from like taking Pippa to the vet or something. And I went, oh, I've scored us Easter off. And you're like, why didn't you just say you didn't want to work?

Why did you make up some lie? I was like, well, the flights will be expensive. That wasn't a lie. Torbs gets home and goes, oh, Tony, did you get out of that Easter thing? Yeah. What? Fucking hell. Well, have a great weekend. Thank you. Am I allowed to text and say hi?

Or do you want some clean air for four days? I think that would be best. I'll see you next Tuesday. Alright, what do you just want some clean air for four days? I think that would be best. Okay. Yeah. I'll see you next Tuesday. All right. What do you love to say? Fucking printers are doing my fucking head in. And stay with me here. Printers?

So. As in like actual printers or like the printers? Like printers that you have in your house or the office. Yep. Not the profession. They're good people. Well, yeah. That's why I was like, well, who have you had a run in your house or the office. Yep. Not the profession. They're good people. Well, yeah, that's why I was like, who have you had a run in with? I tweeted a...

Run in with? With big printer. Sorry. I tweeted some, in inverted commas, business advice. And I was like, here's a business idea. A printer that doesn't require cyan or yellow ink to print in black and white. How fucking hard could it be? If I'm printing in black and white, don't tell

me the magenta's out. Fuck off. Actually, I won't print that because there's no pink. Well, guess what? I'm printing a word doc that is black on white, son. I don't need any magenta. Fuck your cyan. I couldn't agree more. And what the fuck is cyan?

Oh, cerulean. I couldn't agree more. Yep. And what the fuck is cyan? Oh, cerulean. I'm sorry we all haven't been to university and studied colour theory of graphic design. I like that. My love to see it is you getting angry about this. Does this come back around? So I've tweeted this and Stephen has replied. And Stephen's reply is my love to see it. Oh, okay, great.

Stephen replies. I find this quite hilarious, but we'll see how it lands. Oh, God. Yep. Stephen replies. I yelled the same thing at our IT support people. And the IT guy said, don't speak to me in that tone of voice. And the IT guy said, don't speak to me in that tone of voice.

Like, Stephen, I'm trying to be angry. Stop dropping gold in my anger. Oh, so I need gold now as well. Oh, for fuck's sake. But Stephen, I fucking appreciate that. That picked me right back up and I went, oh, maybe world isn't that bad because the prince is going. Maybe world isn't that bad. Maybe world isn't that bad.

English bad, world good. Grandma, fantastic. That's amazing. My love to see is a bit of a blast from the past. It feels like we're really walking down the new lane today. Paul Victor in our Facebook group posted a picture of me from my year 12 yearbook. What the fuck? That he went to your school?

Yeah. Well, I'm sorry. He's just trolling through random books. I don't know if you're ready for this, but here's me in my year 12 yearbook. Oh, wow. That is the most severe side fringe I've seen.

Yep. And you can see all of my I know I will be reading those. Thank you. Jagen House Captain. So that was like

faction like head of house. Not that we doubted you but choir captain. Thank you. Senior concert captain. Thank you. Senior concert band. Thank you. Dance showcase.

What did you do in the dance showcase? Danced. Showcased my dancing ability. Like a jazzy number or like a little hip hop crew, were you? I was in justice dance crew. Were you in justice crew? Before they went on Australia's Got Talent.

Music Excellence Award in 2009. Thank you. Performing Arts Festival 2010. Thank you. You were in the Corrali in 2008. Corral, which is the choir. Oh, okay, great. The Corrali?

And you got the English Award in 2008. Yeah, thank you. Fuck, we couldn't have been so much different. So my thing would have been pretty good in most subjects, except English. Yeah, and good at sport, which hasn't been mentioned in there. Yeah, I don't see many sporting participation here.

Fuck, that fringe is sad. How do we fit? I look quite good in the photo, though. You look good. And I'll tell you what it is. I don't know who that person is, but it's me, apparently. I'm not trying to sway the jury. And you know I'll support you with whatever you do,

because I fucking love you and you fucking look good today. Thank you. However. Seeing a blonde Tony is bringing back memories. Yeah, it is good, isn't it? Is it a coincidence that both you and Bridget were blonde for life and you've both kind of changed at the same time? Well, I think that you've brought on a lot of greys.

We've all changed it up. Thank you, Tony Lodge, for sharing that. And thank you, the tapas, for finding gold. Yeah, I just couldn't believe it. And I don't have this. I don't have this yearbook. So I actually haven't seen this in... I graduated in 2010.

So 13 years. How would 2010 Tony, as the choir captain, feel if someone said to her you actually end up singing I Still Call Australia Home all around the country? That's really nice, isn't it? Love you, girlfriend. That's me.

That's you. Pretty crazy. I'm not fucking happy that it's got my birthday in it, though. And he's posted it. It's got my fucking birthday on it. That's okay. Because we're not birthday people. Not birthday guy.

I mean, you can be a not birthday guy and still have a birth... It is what it is. That's true. That is true. Oh, we're all still 21. I don't do birthdays. I mean, you can be a not birthday guy and still have a birth. Yeah. It is what it is. That's true. That is true. Oh, we're all still 21. I don't do birthdays. I don't do birthdays. Yeah, 21 forever.

But yeah, I love to see that. My nana, every birthday, we used to take her to the Chinese restaurant. Oh. And we'd always be like, oh, happy 21st, nana. And that was always a joke. She's like, oh, I don't feel a day over 30. Oh. Yeah. I do. I Nana. And that was always a joke. She's like, oh, I don't feel a day over 30. Oh. I do.

I love that. Yeah. What a sweetheart. Anyway, you'll have to see that. I thought you'd have a bit of fun with that. And thank you for bringing that to our attention. Next Tuesday. Yep.

Because we're taking off. Tony, enjoy the weekend, mate. Taking a long weekend. But next Tuesday, we mentioned at the start of the year the Fuck It Fund. Yep. Well, three people have received their goods, and you're going to hear some tarpers living their best lives. I can't wait for people to hear these.

They are the best. They're the best. All right, have a great long weekend. See you next Tuesday. See you next Tuesday. Love you.