Toni and Ryan - The Dangers Of Bleach

Episode Date: October 21, 2026

Coffee orders - Normal or Nah - Laundry mishap #2 - love ya!!!!!We hope you liked our special guests today (spoiler alert acting is just pretending shhh)Don't Forget To Join Patreon As a Champion TARPer By Nov 1 to Get The Calendar!! patreon.com/ToniandRyanTell us what you reckon in the episode thread in our FACEBOOK GROUPWatch and subscribe on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan and get in the group chat with us!!!Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I ordered some bleach and I put the top in. I wake up the next morning. No, no, no, no, you didn't. Tony fucking Lodge. You could have burnt the house down. Yeah. Hi, I'm Taylor from Airport West Australia. I'm Cladu from Nottingham in the UK.

I'm Misha Adelian from Amsterdam and I approve this podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. And a welcome, welcome at it. Because I've just unbuttoned a few of the top buttons of my shirt. I've got a t-shirt underneath the shirt. Now, Tony is giving it the awugas. Well, I just looked over and I see unbuttoning your shirt. I'm like, well, we'll be starting a podcast or are we finishing on each other?

So one thing that could be happening is, ooh, he's unbuttoning your shirt. Or is it? The shirt's a bit tight for him and he's busting out of it, thus. I mean, we've eaten GYG nine times. this week so yeah you can make up your own mind about why these buttons are coming off hey and no judgment because i don't want you to say something funny me to burst into life and just ping a button across the room imagine hits child straight in the eye and he's got to go to the meadow nick laser clinic yeah imagine that um i really love that that no i haven't i've got to book the consultation

has anyone done it and they can tell me what their experience was i'll let you know that it's not fun at the time but so worth it after yeah thank you That's really supportive. Are you supportive of the laser eye surgery? Well, yeah, but I just think you look so good in glasses. And I know that's easy for someone who doesn't have to wear them to say. Like I can just say stuff because it doesn't matter because I don't have to wear these things on my face. But you know how much I hate them.

Yeah. And that's why I'm like, then fuck them off. Ugh. Don't! Is it too different? I mean, it will be different for a bit and then we'll just get used to it. Like everything, yeah. I just, I mean, I have to put these back on.

How bad are you right? And would you just go contacts? I don't like the admin of contacts because they like, you have to keep them clean. And, well, I mean, if you do, like you wear them once, throw them out, that just feels super wasteful. And if you do ones that you can reuse, you have to take really good care of them because they can, like, grow mold and then you get infections and stuff like that. I just don't like the admin of them. Yeah. You can never rub your eye.

You know, all that kind of stuff? So my eyes aren't super bad. Like, I wouldn't, would never drive without them. But could I sit here and talk to you? But I can't see my phone or the computer or anything. And I just get really bad migraines when I don't wear them. Yeah, because, yeah. So, like, last week or whatever when we were, like, shooting the photos for the calendar.

And I pretty much didn't wear my glasses for three days. Like, I just had the worst headache because I. hadn't been wearing them and I just can't really focus and stuff. But I hate them. Couldn't focus. You're getting the right amount of sleep. Maybe I should sign up to a little sleep trial. Five bucks a week is a pretty good price I heard.

I've got one. I started it yesterday. It's only 450. 450? Oh, that's quite good. Is it charlesesesleepscor.com? Charlesesleeptracker.com. Yeah, that's good.

Oh, you got the dot. Well done. Yeah. We could create that app on Loveable in about five minutes, right? Yes. It's just, it's called how long should I sleep? and you just open the app and it just says eight minutes. Sorry, eight hours.

Eight minutes. Well, God, it's not good advice. Eight minutes, at least. Yeah. Between eight minutes and ten hours.

Yeah. Whatever you fall between there is fine. Yeah. But yeah, I just wearing glasses. I just hate it. I hate the way they look. I,

they get dirty. You hate the way they look on me. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that looks so awful. Our glasses are fun.

They shape a face. They give character. Then you can change them up. You got a couple of different pairs when we did that fashion show. Yeah. And I've still got them. I just find like I reach for the same ones all the time. But they get dirty.

They get, I just hate them. Have you considered just being blindfolded? And just hoping for the best. Yeah. I mean, maybe puppy tarpa. Our guide dog tarpa could help me. Just guide me around. That'd be lovely.

The person I was driving behind on the way to work today. Did not have their glasses on. I needed to go to the Meadow-O-Niglas clinic. would have been better off blindfolded. Like swerving around? By the way, Tapa's doing pretty well. Yeah, yeah, we've got an update. Yeah, they're looking really good.

Tell me about the driver, sorry. What would they do? Like swerving around or what? I just don't know if they were aware that they were driving the car. Oh, I hate that. I think mentally... You can tell. They were reading the paper,

thinking about what's going on, maybe making a sandwich. And I was just like, like going 20, is under the limit, sort of just floating off the side and then going, oh, yeah, I just better come back again. Oh, but I'm still driving. Sorry. And then, like, like, I could have made it through that green, but now we've both had to stop because you were just floating around and just like.

And you just want to get away from him. Yeah. When someone's driving like that, you just want to be like, I don't know whether I want to be eight cars behind or two ahead. I just want to get away from you. Yeah, I don't know if this person was way too cruisy or the other way that was like so depressed. They didn't care either way.

You know what I mean? Just like. That's scary though. Yeah. It's not very nice. It wasn't nice to be around. Yeah, no. And it doesn't make you feel safe.

No. No. Glasses or laser, not blindfold. No blindfold. Yeah, okay, it's good advice. Especially driving. Can I give you a compliment? Yes.

I love that your undershirt and your hat are the same grey and the pinks on the shirt are the same pinks on the flamingo. So the grey and the pink is like all the same shades. It's really crazy. Despite the fact I love to match a sock, This is actually coincidence. Yeah, but it's perfect. Maybe I should claim it.

Yeah, I plant this a week out. Well, I mean, I just said, can I compliment you? You could just say thank you. Thank you. Yeah, it looks good. Thank you very much. Appreciate that. Put a lot of it in.

A poll has come out. One in three people admit to judging other people based on their coffee order. Oh, yeah. Some people in the study said they won't get their preferred order for fear of being judged. Oh. Like I really, you know, I really want that. But it's a cool cafe, so I should probably get the cool order.

Oh, yeah. But I want to lean into the judging. Okay. I'm going to tell you a coffee order and I want you to like tell me the character that's ordered this. Okay. First of all, it's just an oat flat white. Um, kind of cool. I would say, Artie, probably wears glasses.

Yeah. Like laid back. Maybe a young parent, like a young kid. Yep. Uh, match a latte. Lily and Danielle. Yep. Cool hot girl probably goes to Pilates.

Yep. So true. Yeah. Black coffee with a little pot of honey on the side. Oh, I've never even heard of that. Distinguished hot boy. Distinguished hot boy. Yeah.

That's who I aspire to be. Yeah, me too. Yeah. Lactose free cap. Well, that's you. Um, someone who cares about their inside. And they're like, you know what? I don't want to shit today.

So true. Yeah. Iced matcha with cold dairy-free foam. I think same hot girl. Hot girl and the dairy-free, I'm like, yeah, you don't want to shit today. And that's fair. Yeah. Hot girl or little rich boy.

Oh, it's all you got, Charles. I can, I just, I can see. Every time I see dairy-free foam, I just go. You think of Charles? Yeah. Just because he can't. I'm sorry. I ordered the foam.

It's such a Starbucks he order. The little rich boy Charles would order. Yeah. Yeah, I get it. But you wouldn't order a matcher though. No, I wouldn't order a matcher.

What would you go to at Starbucks, Charles? My go to Starbucks would be a chocolate frappuccino with the vegan whipped cream. Oh no. Because he doesn't really do coffee. Mm. I got judged the other day by Bridget. My wife.

Oh. Why? Because I order a soy hot chocolate. Why? Because Bridget goes, do you want a coffee and Charles said I don't really do coffee and he then Bridget goes are you a baby? Oh. And she goes, did you prefer like,

did you feel welcomed into their home? Charles's that nice. And she goes, oh, do you prefer little hot chockies? And he goes, only if it's soy. Oh.

Yeah, so me and Maple just had a little hot chocolate. They have the, that's cute. Charles and Mabel have the same order. That's so cute. At least she had the right meal. A little hot chocky on soy.

Oh, two. Two thanks. Make it too. Yeah. Make it two. I'm not driving. Let's do normal launa You can submit your normal or nars

In the Tony and Ryan Facebook group Or on our website Tony and Ryan.com Laura Sullivan Hi Laura No relation to Steve Harvey Great I never let the microwave ding Normal or nah

I will stand and watch the microwave While it's going so I can open the door Just in time For some reason I don't want to hear that beeping When it's done like shut the fuck up have done this for as long as I've been using a microwave. Tapa, Laura, asked normal or nah. I think it's normal.

Like, I think that's pretty common. Yep. I don't know. I fall into one of two, though. Like, I either open it before it dings or I'll let it keep dinging for like 20 minutes. Yeah. I did that in the office the other day. You did.

And you were about to say who the fucks is that? Yeah, because I'd put my weight bag in and then walked off and like, went to get my laptop or something. And then I was like, Who the fuck is got food in the microwave? Like, because there was only a couple of this year. And I was like, what's going on? And then I was like, oh, my God, that's me.

Sorry. Because our microwave in the office is the same as the one at home. Oh. And every minute, it do-da-do-do-do after. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think I've been, I've done that as well where everyone's like, how long is you going off?

But who's, and I just don't even think about it. And then I'm like, oh, fuck, sorry, everyone, that's me. So I fall in, like, I'm one extreme or the other. So every night I put Bridget's wheat bag. in the microwave. Yep. But then by the time she's going to bed, it means Mabel's asleep.

Yep. So I'm like, I don't want the ding to wake up the baby. Oh, of course. So I'll put it in for like three and a bit minutes or whatever. And I just like literally watch the clock. Three and a bit minutes is a long time for a wait back. Mate,

you don't know how weak my microwave is. Oh. In fact, I give it four these days. It's stretched out over the journey because. That's like a fucking nuclear weapon. Nah, but that's the thing you get it out and you're still like,

like, like, could I do four and a half. I'll try four and a half tonight. I'll report back next week. that's crazy. Yeah. And the reason we're doing so long is because... Mine would boil my skin off if I left it in for that long.

What are you hauling? Like that would just burn my skin. But like you got a good microwave that's getting it done. I mean, it's the same one that we've got here. I just need a new mic. It just sounds like our microwave. Yeah. Get the same one.

It's really good. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Yeah, okay. I'll report back. But the reason we're still doing heat sacks is because of we got fake summer and now we're back in Melbourne.

Yeah. Yeah. I just like a wheat bag. I think it's really comforting. Tapa Kayla. Hi Kayla. My husband

deletes his entire email inbox regularly. End of a project, end of a year, beep, literally all gone and deletes the deleted folded bin as well.

What a fucking madman is this normal behavior or nah. Oh, nah. I don't think that's normal. Think about how fring it would be though. Yeah. Walsing off into the Christmas holidays

and being like, well, when I worked, on Jason PJ that like Jace would do that like every he would delete everything he's like if people need me like

they can tell email again but like I'm like well yeah I did a big purge of one of my email inboxes and it was literally like when am I ever going to need that and literally the next day I was like I need that invoice or I need that thing

yeah yeah I I keep a really Tony runs a tight ship I keep a really tidy inbox like my messages are fucked and my damn I'm a fuck, but my email inbox, I use it as a to-do list. Yeah. So it's like, if something's unread in my emails, it's meant that I have to do it.

Yep. But so there's never more than like four or five things in there. But I think if you've just got a billion things in your inbox, yeah, that would be too overpowering. Guess how many? Unreads I've got. On emails. Probably a couple of thousand.

Bottom corner there. 10,558. That doesn't bother me. Like, I don't really care. It bothers me. But then change it. Like by deleting them all? Well, I don't really mind what you do.

But it's, you know how people get like so pressed when people have like lots of unread thing? I don't take it on. For me, though, it's how, because I operate with my inbox like that. I'm like, oh, it's always under control. But my personal emails, oh, that would be. RIP.

Oh, yeah. Because that's like where all the shopping ones go. Yeah, yeah. You know, that's where like, I signed up for 10% off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Aesos knew this, fucking iconic sale. Kitchen Warehouse in W.A. at Carousel is closing down.

And, you know, like, it's just, for my whole life, it's just. For a second there when you said iconic sale, I thought you meant like, this sale's iconic. You can't miss out. Oh, no, like, oh, no. I think we've had this normal or no before. Sorry if we have, but it just fucking makes me giggle. Yeah.

Tapa Colby. Hi Colby. Like the cheese. Yum. I take my sunglasses off in the drive-thru. It feels respectful to the people working there. Oh, I totally agree. I always take my sunglasses off at the track, uh, Macca's window to be polite.

But some people call it, say it's weird and it doesn't matter. But she's like, no. Like, I think it looks someone in the eye. There's someone taking my order. I'm going to look them in the eye. Yeah. And say, I want a lactose freak. Cap because I don't want a shit today.

Yeah, no, that's a cool boy order in a cool boy way. I'm just going to start getting long blacks with a pot of honey on the sun. I just think that sounds quite cool and arty. Yeah, well, I have to take up smoking if I do that. I mean, you don't have to, but it would compliment the look. Yeah, yeah. Like, are you doing it or not? Imagine if you're wearing this and then those things are going on as well.

It's very good. It's all very good. Oh, the honey. Oh, that's you adding the honey. Yeah. Movie, three words. Cool boy spotted. It's all very good

I would love to be someone that orders a long black I think it's quite a grown up order but I need the milk I need the milky girl Can you drive now like acting? Yeah Drive through a drive through Remove your sunglasses

Yeah And then like a cool boy order a long black Yeah I'm in the car But I thought this would help the character Yeah it'll help the character Won't help you accelerate Yeah so true

Zun, Zun, I'm in a Porsche. What color, Porsche? Black. What sort? Hi. Hi, how you going? Could I describe a long black, please? Thank you so much.

I think we need to go. That felt cool to look cool. It did. I think we need to go less happy to see you. I don't know how to do. But not in mean, but more like. No, I've got it. I'm picking up.

Guy and Charlie's Angels that does the dancing. Sam Rockwell. No, I'm picking up your direction one thousand percent. Charles, I'm going to need you to say what can I get for you or something, right? Zim, zoom,

Zum, Zum, Zim. Lock and Maccas, what can I get for you? Hey, can I just grab a long black, please? Yeah. Yeah, cheers. Thank you. That was hot. That was good.

That felt good. How is that for everyone else? No, I want to go one further. Okay, yep. And this guy is the villain. He's like, slick back hair. I've got it. And he always like, it's almost like he can't even be bothered to art.

Not in a mean way, but he's just like, yeah, whatever. My window's already down. Okay. Because it's convertible. Welcome back. What can you go for you? Long black, extra hot. Got that?

Is that all? Yeah. I've already driven off. Did he even get the order? That most close. I like the extra hot. Do you like the extra hot? Yeah.

I reckon. No, I didn't nail it. Okay. Take a breath between the coffee order and the extra hot. Like you just lob that on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Locking them back. It's what can you up for you.

Yeah, I'll get a long black. Extra hot. Is that all? Yeah. No, I don't think he would say yeah to the do you want anything else? I also don't think they would say, can I get her? You just say the thing. Yeah, okay.

And then when Charles says, when Charles says anything else. you've got it when he says anything else what's on the side oh yeah I don't think the villain would order a little pot of honey but that's where the acting

gets tricky all right I got it welcome back what can you get for you long black extra hot is that everything mate unless you sell siggies

that's all I need this is fun this is really fun did that feel good for everyone can I can I have a turn I feel like that's really fun welcome what can I get for you

I can't hear my windows down here I just winder my window I just winder my window Yeah The old Alas Yeah Walking back is

Can you please hold on Oh Yeah No you wouldn't say anything Walking back is by KFI Black coffee Extra hot Is that everything

A little pot of honey On the side there's Coming right up. You got it. You got it. You didn't pull sunglasses on or off. That wasn't part of your character. No, but I would pull you on enough.

Oh, to give me that little pot of honey. Hey, I might not go down in history, but I will go down on you today. Because you're my little pot of honey. That was extra hot. Thank you. Waiting basics, please.

Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry. Doesn't the waiting bay? They go, oh, you'd cast a client. Hi, I'm Taylor from Airport West Australia. I'm Claudia from Nottingham in the UK. I'm Misha Adderian from Amsterdam. And you're listening to Tony and Ryan.

A big shout out, a big smooch, a big shake of my bum and a little... You're extra hot. To a few of our champion tappers over at our Patreon. A couple little honeys here. A couple of little pots of honey. Michael Deans. Oh my guys. I saw the funniest fucking photo on Instagram the other day.

Was it a photo of Michael Dean with his pants down? No, it was like this chicken. She's like, when your boyfriend does your food shopping for you? And it's like bits of salmon, um, yogurt and honey. And their reply was like, does he think you're a grizzly bear? Michael Dean's good on your Michael. Curtis, Miller. I love to see it.

Curtis. Thank you. Diane Kimbreel. Thank you, Diane. Boosy, Loon. Good on your boozy loomer. Ali W. Ali with an I.

Not Angela W, is it? No, Ali W. Okay. Angela W. Yeah. Becky Flockhart, good on you, Becky. Back online in Australia? Sorry?

Back online in Australia. Oh, that hasn't worked for me yet. Pornhub.com slash Angela White. But Pornhub's not working for me yet. No. I wouldn't be, wouldn't know. You wouldn't know. Yeah, Christine V.

Good on your Christine. G. Bizzle. Good on your G. Jordan W and Dinosaurus vulva. It's working for her. Yeah. You've got to be in it to win it. Yes, exactly what I was going to say.

So recently we had a bit of a laundry mishap in our house. My husband tried to wash my, well, he washed it successfully, but also shrunk in the process my favorite pink jumper from Mormon. Beautiful knitted jumper that is no more. A lot of people were like, oh, I've got any one. It is still more. It is just a lot less. A lot less.

Someone commented and said, I've got it in a size small if you want it. And I said, bitch, so do I. Look at the fucking jumper. What do you think of that is? It's not an extra large,

is it? Yeah. And so a lot of people are like, oh, don't let Torbs do the washing again. There has been another laundry mishap in the house. This time was maybe not Torbs's fault as much.

Oh, okay. But that's neither here nor there. No. I have this beautiful little white. white t-shirt. It's actually the same shirt as this, but it's white. So it's kind of like ribbed, like elasticated. For her pleasure. So it fits really nicely. And the other day, I was wearing it and I think we were eating food in the office or something and I dropped something on the top and it's white and obviously, anyway, I get home. I'm like, I've got to spray that and put that in

the wash straight away. Yep. I sprayed it and then forgot about it for four to five business days. Great. So. Sprayed it then washed it or just left it sprayed? Sprayed it and then left it, which you're not supposed to do. So what had happened is that the stain, like the liquid of the oxyaction stuff that

I sprayed onto it, had taken on the color of the stain. It was like red. Yeah. And then spread the red all across it. Great. So when I went back to it a few days later, it was in much worse condition than it was initially. And that's my own fault because I sprayed it and then fucking forgot about it. So there was my first back up.

I said to Torbs, I'm so gutted. Like, I'm going to spray it and wash it and see if that gets the whole stain out. I did that. That did not work. It was too beyond, like, because it had set in wet for a second time. And then I washed it and dried it. for a third time and it was just like far beyond yeah yeah r-i-p so this shirt it fits really nicely it's not super it's a little bit expensive but um it's from that store in london that i

really love lucy and yak so i can't just roll down to fucking westfield and get another one yeah but i can't do that because you can get a car park you can't roll out if i book a car park five weeks in advance, but no, I'm coming. So I can't just grab one. I can order it online, but the shipping is fucking murder. Yeah. So I was like, okay, well, until I need to do like a shop and maybe there's a few things I want to get, I'm probably not going to do that.

And I said to Torbs, I'm really gutted. I wear this shirt all the time. It just like, it's real cute. It's so, like, tight and snuck. I just love it. Anyway, I'm like, if I'm kissing this shirt goodbye a little bit, do I do a last ditch attempt and just see if I can, you know, is there something I can do? A laundry Hail Mary.

Yes, absolutely. And Torbs was like, I reckon if you bleach it, that will probably work. And he's like, but if it doesn't, you're kind of at the point now where like. It's like free swing almost. Kind of. You've accepted. I've said goodbye to the beautiful Lucianac t-shirt. If it does not come back to me, it was never mind.

And it's all white. It's all white. So yeah, bleach maybe. Yeah. Because like if it was color, like this is white. Like, yeah, yeah, you kind of go, oh, it might fuck the other colors. But I was like, it's all white. Like, how wrong can the bleach go?

So I ordered some bleach in, like, without food shopping, like from our Woolworth's thing. And it came and I was just like, okay, like, I'll just pop the top in there to soak. And I'll, like, have a look the next morning or whatever. And I put the top in, like, it's probably like 10 a.m. And then the next morning, Tobs and I'm, oh, you've, I'm keeping. you've yawned. You yelled at me for yawning the other day. I'm just, I'm holding, I tried to hold it in. I wake up the next morning and our house smells like a public pool. Oh, no. And isn't that the worst smell? It kind of smells like semen, eh? When have we figured, is there a correlation

between swimming pool and semen? Because it's the same. I didn't know it's not like semen. Oh, it does, yeah. Oh, no, but all I, I woke up and I was like, oh, like, just smells bleachy. I can really smell that. Like, and we'll be like, woo. Yeah, like had filled the house. Yeah. And Torbs goes, did you buy really cheap bleach or something? In another life, Torbs is a chemist. Right.

And so he knows fucking some stuff about chemicals and stuff like that. He was like, did you, he's like, you can't really get like cheap bleach, but did you buy cheap bleach or? Like there's something's. Is something wrong? And I was like, oh, I don't know. I just ordered it and like, you know, put it in the thing. He's like, he's like, oh, how much did you put in? And I was like, oh, yeah, like I just feel.

No, no, no, you didn't. No, you didn't. I was like, why, I just filled the bucket up, put the shirt in. And he goes, yeah, yeah, no, like, I know you filled the bucket up because it, like, needs to be, like, submerged to, so. Yeah, but how much bleach? And I was like, yeah, yeah, the top is in the bleach. Tony fucking Lodge.

You could have burnt the house down. Yeah. So. You felt like you filled the bucket. Filled the bucket with bleach. And then. Let me explain something to you. Thank you.

Got you're awake now. Are you familiar with the creation of drinkable cordial? No. What are you talking about? Do you know what cordial is? Yeah. How do you make it? Oh, I thought you meant like the origins of cordial.

Oh, you mean like when you're making one and you put like a bit in the bottom and fill it with water? Sure. Yeah. No. So I didn't know it needed to be diluted. So you're drinking straight coddies from the fucking bottle. No, no, absolutely.

because that would be crazy. I didn't realize that straight bleach was all so crazy. So Torb says, like, how much did you put in? I go, I just filled it up. And he goes, no, no, no, no, how much bleach. On the back of the, I have it written down here, on the back of the bottle, the ratio, the ratio is supposed to be like one to 100. One to 100.

And you're doing 100 to 100. So you're supposed to put a little cat, no, 100 to nothing. There was no water in there as well. Yeah. No, because it wouldn't, isn't a ratio the half of. if we as a team can't figure out time zones i don't know if we can figure that out no no no but isn't because if it's like one to one it's like one cup of blah like say it's rice a cup of rice to a cup of water so isn't it i've done 100 to zero because there's no water yeah there's no ratio actually

forget about ratios it's bleach it was just bleach and tobs was like Tony like what what And I was like, I didn't know. I didn't know. Anyway, he goes, okay, you need to go and rinse the top now. And I was like, well, I mean, if the stain's gone, does it really matter? And he goes, is there a shirt still in the bucket? Pretty much. So I googled, like, can bleach eat through fabric?

Charles, I got a little. The first top answer, yes, bleach can eat through and disintegrate fabric if left too long, all used undiluted. Okay, well, I'm fucking. for two there. I know we're not doing ratio. Chapman zero for two. Yep.

Yep. And I pull the shirt out of the thing and told us like, did you put gloves on? And I was like, okay? Well, you didn't tell me that before. So I was like, oh. She's tongs? I was like, oh, it feels soapy. He's like, that is all of the fats and oils being ripped out of your skin.

You need to go and wash your hands and put some fucking gloves on. Oh, right-o fucking Walter White. Why don't you watch the fucking shirt? So I then, I like, soak, like, running water into the bucket. to kind of like, because dogs was like, if you dip it all out and put straight water on it, you're going to shock it even more. He's like, so you've got to slowly. You're going to give it the shocker.

He's like, you've got to slowly bring the bleach out and put water into it. And I was like, well, fuck me. I didn't realize I was doing a fucking science experiment. And I eventually pull the shirt out and I'm like, oh, the stain's gone. And he was like, yeah, I don't think that's going to be the problem. The shirt, all of the elastic is gone in it. It's completely blown out. And the bleach ate the shirt for dinner.

And now the fabric is still there, but all of, like, it's not ribs like this anymore. It's basically like a just a weird warped cotton shirt. It's fucked. Do you have it with you? No, no, no. I was like, should I throw this out? And it was like, I think you just need to throw it out. Because it's like fucking hyperactive, no?

Nuclear. Yeah, a dumb boy question to ask. But like, hypothetically. if you lit it on fire. Yeah. Are we talking full explosion or disintegration? I don't know. Because I feel bleach is like one of those weird things that can just fucking go.

I'm guessing it's flammable. I actually don't know. But Tud's like, do you remember when you watch Fight Club and they use the fat and bleach to make soap? He's like, that's what they're doing. Yeah. It's like so true. So, yeah, read the bottle if you're using any chemicals in your home. When it comes to this stuff, I'm the dumbest,

I'm the dumbest, I'm alive. And for me, I was like, well, what's... What's the worst that could happen? No, like, how much water, how much bleach? Oh, yeah, no. I just didn't know, I just glug, glug, gluck, like... And Trump's like, how much of the bottle did you use? I was like, oh, I don't know, he picks up the bottle.

It's like, most of it, yeah. Because I filled a bucket with it. So that, imagine a hundred of those buckets is what it should make. What it should have been. I know. So, dang. Like, thank God it was, you know, in the sink, like, and it couldn't tip off and,

and fucking kill, it would have burnt pippa to death. Burned through your fucking floor or something? Yeah. And so then all my fingers were all, it was like the DNA was like gone off my hands for a bit. Oh, free, if you need off anyone. Yeah, or go and rob a bank.

Would have been a great time. Yeah. Yeah. So the top is fucked. The stain did come out. Yeah, so technically she was right. So everyone backed the fuck off. Technically did work.

But he was like, Tony, you are so lucky that you didn't like get more of that on your skin or whatever. Yeah. So. That's crazy, dude. Be careful out there. It's tough out there. It's crazy.

How do you feel now? Do you feel? I just feel hell stupid. Right. Because I was like, why didn't I just look at it? But I was like, you're going to burn down reservoir, dude. I was like, you soak a shirt in bleach.

Like, so when people say like, I'm soaking a shirt or whatever. Yeah. I didn't realize it was like water and a cap full of bleach. I thought it was. So, well, what do we call it? I'm bleaching a shirt. You don't say I'm watering a shirt. Oh, a little dash of bleach on the side.

Yeah. Like it was a honeypot next to a long black. Yeah. Nah. Fuck, dude. I know. No, it's so bad. Like terrible.

So where are we out with the shirt then? So the shirt. Yeah. So I'm just going to have to go back to London or something. I'm going to have to just cop it and pay for the shipping, I think. Yeah, which is fun. Oh, if I have to, you know. Yeah.

But I was just like, oh, I really want to try and rescue this shirt. I really like it. I respect the. and the commitment. The effort. Yeah. You know, I put effort into try and say that I wasn't just like, fuck it.

Who cares? Yeah. I was like, no, I want to try and save the shirt. I really like it. Yeah. Fuck, dude. Yeah. So.

And was Torbs as a person that studied chemistry just like, what have I married into? I think he was just like, why didn't you ask me for help? And I was like, but I didn't know I needed it. Like, I thought I was just doing the thing that you're supposed to do. Yeah. It's not as if I was like, oh, instructions. don't need them. I just didn't know that there were instructions,

if you know what I mean? Yep. I didn't know there was a question I should ask. I wasn't smart enough to realize how dumb I was. Yeah, like I didn't think I'd missed a step because I thought it was step one, put bleach on shirt, step two, wear it. Like I didn't realize there was like more to it than that. And to be fair, that should be where it's at.

Well, yeah. I bought the other day, you know how you're on me for their Benadine gargle? And I'm just doing wonders. Yeah, it does. Okay, so I'm looking at these, because you know how you go to the supermarket and there's like, the small bottle, the big bottle, the medium bottle, the fuck, and you kind of go on, what, what am I getting here? Yeah. And one of them was like significantly cheaper. Because you know how it has the per unit pricing?

Yeah. You know where this is going. Well, one of them's a concentrate, isn't it? And one of them's ready to go. Yeah. Oh, and who would be stupid enough to not dilute something with water? And, no, I was just like, I thought I'd have. the game because I'm like, well, have I found a bargain?

You like, that one's smaller, but it's so much cheaper. Yeah. It's so much cheaper. You know why? Because it's 90% water. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, convenient though.

Yeah. And that's like the travel one or whatever because it seemed like, yeah. But I thought I got them. Yeah. But it seems too good to be true. A bit like the sleep tracker up, you know, it usually is. Oh, brough. Yeah.

Sorry. Sorry. Bring that up. Fuck. A little drive by a few Thursday afternoon. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. I'm supporting you through the bleach and now I'm being reminded of how dumb I am. Oh, I think we're in the same boat. In fairness. Good to have you here with me, bud. In fairness. Thanks to joining me. I got you love to see it here from Eli.

Hi, Eli. I finally got in the courage to move to New Zealand from England. Huge. Huge move. That's a long fucking way. Been traveling for a month with a friend, but they've gone back home. So it's like suddenly like, oh, like I'm really here on my own. And they were kind of between accommodations,

like, you know, the checkouts at 11 and the next place is at 2. So they had all their bags. And we're a bit like fucking... I hate that. Yeah, so they're walking down. Don't you just feel like such a, like lost citizen of the earth?

You got your, like, you got your fucking roll on bag. Um, so I've got two massive suitcases. I'm wandering down the street. And this woman stops me and goes, absolutely fucking not. Are you walking with all that? This random lady

Robbed him Don't worry about walking around with that I'll take it Pulls her phone out and goes Let me book you an Uber You can't be walking With those big cases Let me sort you out

Turns out she was from the UK as well Oh you come over Yeah I'm new here as well Blah blah blah You know we got to take care of each other They're both from Essex So they had a bit of old school It made me really emotional

I have been missing my family a little bit But I just love how amazing And kind some people can be That is so gorgeous Yeah Good on your Eli Good on your Eli and good on you Random Essex girl in New Zealand

That is really lovely to just be like No No let me help You can't be walking with all that stuff Let me get you in Uber That's really lovely Really lovely love to see that Thank you for sharing that

That's beautiful Eli Thank you My love to see it here is from Rachel Trimble And Rachel sent this to me on Patreon And was a champion Tapper last year And received our calendar Sick

So there's been lots of calendar chat recently. And Rachel recently had to put her house on the market and sell quite quickly. Like needed to move. Had a different opportunity, whatever. In the manic cleaning before getting the listing photos taken, she's like, I just, I wasn't really thinking. I don't really know. And in the listing photos is her Tony and Ryan calendar from last year on the fridge. There's a photo of it in my, so you see that.

They go to the next photo, Charles. Zoomed in. Is us as Twilight. So this is immortalised. No pun intended. On the listing photos of the house is the Tony and Ryan calendar. Imagine the people walking through the open home. Oh, okay.

She's Robert Pattinson's look better. Yeah, that's interesting. And, you know, that could be you next year. So if you would like the 2027 calendar. You'd like to move house and have a Tony and Ryan calendar in your real estate photos. Hopefully no one was jerking off during the taking of them. Hopefully not. That's amazing.

But I just thought that was so funny. Immortalised. Very funny. So if you would like that to be you, you want to put this on your fridge or in your house or whatever. Tony Ryan, Patreon.com slash Tony and Ryan, become a champion tarpa before the first November. All the details are in there. But pretty funny. So thank you, Rachel, for showing that.

I hope you got a good price. for your home. I hope so. And if that didn't up the price. Oh, people are like, throw in the calendar, she's like, no fucking way.

Not for an extra five grand. She's like, because you can't buy it outside of the Patreon. So true. You have to be a champion table. You can't just buy it later. You can't.

Buy it later later? No. No, you actually can't. Thanks for asking. No. Thank you so much for hanging out with us this week. We'll be back on YouTube with a try not to laugh tomorrow

and enjoy your weekend. Tony, I love you. I'm obsessed with you. Love you. That's nice. Don't feel bad about the bleach. who was to know.

No, I didn't know. And they need to put that in bigger font on the back of the bottle. They do. Yeah. Lucky I wasn't drinking from the bottle. I could have died. Yeah, I mean, they're happy to let you know not to drink it,

aren't they? They don't give you any instructions how to use it. They just tell you how not to use it. It's a hierarchy of warnings. It is a hierarchy of warnings. Yeah. I mean, it is good to let people know not to drink it. Yeah, but I reckon that's assumed.

I think that's assumed. love to know whether other people didn't know you had to dialogue please did you know that charles i i do say okay cool all right see ya he's butler fucking taught him as kids all right sorry i'm lashing out love you bye see you