Toni and Ryan - The Flight Attendant's Script

Episode Date: November 7, 2023

An interesting experience we weren't expecting. BLESSS HEERRRRRR! Love ya xCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author, Dr. Author, best-selling Dr. Author, Tony Lodge. Yeah, all of them. I've written three books according to you. Author, author, author. We're about to call Elizabeth, who is in Charlotte in North Carolina. No, we're calling Charlotte in Elizabeth, I think. No, we're actually calling North in Carolina. We're calling Teacher in Elizabeth, but great to talk to you. Elizabeth in Charlotte, not the other way around. Hello?

Elizabeth! It's Tony and Ryan. How are you doing? Oh, my God. Hi, guys. I just answered, and for some reason, Tony couldn't hear me. It's so great to hear from you guys. How embarrassing.

I blame producer Cam for all of it. Yeah, me too. That was a real production error. Cam, do you take full responsibility? Never oh well it wasn't me um elizabeth we approved today's podcast absolutely oh can you not hear her now nah just kidding oh save the comedy for the show hi this is elizabeth from north car, and I approve this podcast. All right, coming up today. Happy hump day.

Happy hump day. Or wherever you are. Happy day off yesterday for everyone in Melbourne. Melbourne Cup day. Yeah. Public holiday. Public holiday. Isn't that wild that everyone in Melbourne, Melbourne Cup Day. Yeah. Public holiday. Public holiday. Isn't that wild that there's a public holiday for that?

Yeah. Does that mean we have to pay Cam double? I won't be. Okay, good to know. Coming up, we... After debriefing what happened with a flight attendant on a flight, we agreed it was kind of halfway between like a Mr Bean or a Fawlty Towers comedy set, like a, was it a masterclass in physical comedy? As we started to talk about it, we realised we had to stop talking about it

so that we could talk about it on the pod. I don't know if people realise that like ryan and i's friendship is like really sad because whenever something bad happens or funny happens or good happens we're like oh i'll say that and i'll tell you on the podcast yeah and so while we've been traveling around together it's been weird because i'm like oh don't tell me your opinion on that because i'm gonna tell you i dare say whilst we don't know it yet We've all got our theories and opinions about what happened On that American Airlines Eagle flight Tight

A tight flight Before I get there, is it true I had to slap you Cameron and say stop laughing You did, I was crying Crying laughing, I was like sit up and look respectable Cameron That's why I'm not going to pay him double For the public holiday.

I didn't disagree with what you were laughing at. I couldn't look at you guys. I was dead ahead. Anytime I looked at Cameron, I had to really set me. And then I saw Tony, I was trying to be like, check out this guy. And then I was like, I can't look. I was locked on right dead ahead because I knew that the second. Yeah.

Anyway. That's coming up soon. Bless her. Bless her up soon. Bless her. Bless her, Cotton Socks. Bless her. First, though, more lies your mum told you. It's an international epidemic. I didn't realise that it was only my late mother, God rest her soul,

under the train tracks. Over her dead body. Over her dead body, us catching the train. I thought it was only my mum that lied lied or Ryan's two mums that lied. Not lesbians, separate mums. You got one, then you got a refund. You got a new one. Yes.

Who's wonderful. Yep. Sheldon, Mandy, have you been chatting with your mum while we've been away? Yeah, and she looked after Mabel last Friday as well. Oh, did she? Yep. So, she was sending me photo updates minutely. Oh.

Your mum and I just chatted on Facebook Messenger the other day. Why? I might give her a message and be like, oh, send me the pictures of Mabes. Just catching up. We just like to catch up. What do you mean? I mean, she adopted you. Maybe she's in the market.

Well, she adopted Kenny as my little dog, little brother. Yeah, she did. She loves a rescue. Yeah. Do you reckon that your mum would be keen on me or nah? Well, she got- Would loves a rescue. Do you reckon that your mum would be keen on me or nah? Well, she got- Would we have to stop fucking? Or nah?

Do you reckon? I'm what's called in the biz an undamaged rescue. What does that mean? It means I'm all good. Like, it's not a distressed adoption. Where's you? You got a bit of baggage. Oh, yeah, I do.

Yeah. Literally downstairs. Yeah. All my luggage is here.. Yeah. Literally downstairs. Yeah. All my luggage is here. Thanks for laughing at that. Really appreciate that. Yeah, no, I probably deserve it. I'm funny on holiday.

Are you? We're not on holiday, actually, are we? Yeah, no. Every time people, well, actually, legally. We are. Yes, we are. Oh, of course we're on holidays. How's my tan?

Yeah. Woo! Gosh, get your Hawaiian shirt, baby. I was funny in Chicago and then as soon as you were very funny thank you thank you as did the waiter Rob yep waiter agreed until I got on the plane to Toronto and immediately reverted back yeah but I mean the what we saw on the plane to Toronto you know that maybe that kicked us right out of gear. That did throw me. I was like, I can't compete with this comedy.

That's coming. That's coming. Anyway, lies that your mum's told you. Now, fuck, I reckon I've copped this one. And in fact, when they always go, oh, it wasn't until years later that I realised. I think I'm about to realise, like, in real time. Amazing. Because Tiffany said, back in the dial-up internet days.

Yeah. Did you guys, were you just a bit before that? No, no, no. I had that. You had that? Apparently you did. Mum told me we only had 30 hours a month of internet, so I could only use one hour per day.

I realised this was to slow down my screen time as a child. Screen time wasn't even a term then. Yeah. That wasn't even something people said. She goes, oh, she's on the computer all the time. I'll just tell her we've got 30 hours a month, one hour a day. But then I read 30 hours a month and I'm like, I'm pretty sure when the internet came out that was about right.

That probably was about right, yeah. But is that because our mums were telling us this? Is Telstra doing the same? Because I only get a certain amount of hours on my phone. They're gaslighting you now. The gigs is like equivalent to hours and they go, oh, you know, you're getting up there, babe. You know? Maybe.

I'm pretty sure that, yeah, my mum would have said something similar as well. But I thought it was 30 hours a month because it was like, and then if someone wanted to make a call, we had to get off. Oh, that's true. Yeah. Your mum would be like, I've got to call Auntie Colleen. Can you get off the phone? Yeah. Or someone's calling and you hear that like, yeah. Yeah. You'd pick up the phone and you'd hear the internet noise. Yeah. Ryan! Yeah.

Get off MSN! Zachary said, I was scared of immunisations. I mean, you know. Of the needle, yeah. Not in a doing your own research kind of way. No, Zach's not doing his own research. In a needle way, yeah. In a needle way. Mum told me I was getting giraffe juice and it would make me the tallest in my class. Giraffe juice.

So, I got it. Zachary says, I think they got it wrong and gave me hippo juice instead. I was about to say, I missed that immunisation because I'm the shortest fucking person alive. I'm so tiny. But when you tell an eight-year-old boy, like, oh, mate, you're tall, you're like, fuck you, give me three, dog. I remember one that, like, my mum used to say, and I haven't thought about this in years, but my hair is quite straight. And my mum used to say, oh, if you eat the crust on your sandwich, it'll make your hair go curly.

I've heard that as well. Because it was like I would only want to eat like the white bread, like the soft beer, and I didn't want to eat the crust. But she'd be like, eat your crust, it'll make your hair go curly. And I'd be like, wow, okay. Sick. And my sister Libby, her hair's so curly. Yeah.

And mum would be like, see, like, if you want hair, like, beautiful hair like that, you've got to eat your crust. It didn't work. I've been eating crust for 30 years. Yeah. It's, like, such a lie. Is it just a saying, like, that'll put hairs on your chest? Oh, yeah.

Or, like, if you eat your veggies, you'll grow up big and strong, which is actually kind of true. That is kind of true. That one actually is, like, not a lie. And you'll grow up big and strong if you also hit the of true. That is kind of true. That one actually is not a lie. And you'll grow up big and strong if you also hit the gym. Yeah. Veggies, gym.

Yeah, and chicken breast, low carbs. Low personality, all those things. Do you remember the lie we were told at the Toronto meet and greet that a tarpa told us whose mum said when she was a kid and she only realised like a few years ago that her mum used to say to her, oh, if you can get salt on the end of a bird's tail, it will let you hold it. Yeah. That's the deal that they've made with nature and society.

So she would go out and be in the backyard with like a bit of salt and it would keep her busy and like mum could sit inside and maybe like have a red wine or maybe, like, have a shower by herself or something. Any luck, sweetie? Yeah. No, still going, mum. Okay, great.

You keep going. And the sound they made was they were saying salt, salt, salt. So instead of saying car, car, they were saying salt, salt. Wow. Like, that's what her mum said. Why salt? I mean, I guess just because it's, like, inexpensive. Imagine if she was like, oh, if you put a PlayStation on a bird,

you know, that would cost them a fortune. If you give it a Rolex. Yeah. Imagine you're trying to put a watch on this bird. Bird watching. The rich edition of bird watching. What did you see out there? Yeah, a couple of psychos.

Yeah, a Mont Blanc was out there in the wild. A Mont Blanc, guys! Izzy, my mum told me that when children lie, the word lie would appear on their forehead. Oh, that's good. So every time I lied, I covered up my forehead so she wouldn't be able to find out. Little did I know that I was literally telling her every time I was lying. Yeah.

Oh, my mum used to do the, your eyes will turn green. Oh. If you lie, your eyes will go green. And you cover your eyes? No, well, she'd be like, oh, did that happen? And I go, yeah. And she'd go, your eyes are going green. And I go.

What? Oh, it's a chlorine in the pool. Yeah, yeah. And she'd go, your eyes are going green. And I go. What? Oh, it's a chlorine in the pool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's the same as hair. I can just imagine you as I'm covering my eyes being like, nah, all good, mum. Nah, I'm just really tired.

So, I thought I'd have a little kip here. And you can't check. No. That's genius. Yeah. So, that was one that she told me. Mum, that's really good. My mum loves me so much.

Yep. Did you tell, what is something that your mum told you that you know to be true? That she loved me. Yeah, so that was one that she told me. My mum loves me so much. Did she tell... What is something that your mum told you that you know to be true? That she loved me. Yeah, she did. Salt, salt. Rhiannon always wanted a kitten, and every time she asked her mum, her mum would say, oh, kittens aren't in season at the moment. That's good. Yeah. I say, oh, kittens aren't in season at the moment. That's good.

Yeah. I mean, heartbreaking. Yeah. But good. I reckon I asked her once a week for years, all year round, and they were always out of season. Oh, I hate that. Yeah. Like tomatoes recently.

Always soggy. Yeah, no good. I don't know. I haven't gotten a good tomato in like three years. I'm actually bringing this. Like, I haven't had a good tomato in like three years. I'm actually bringing this. Like I haven't had a good tomato in like three years. They're not. I don't know what's changed.

Where are you getting your tomatoes? Well, I've bought them from the pran market. That should be top end. I know. I bought like, you know those big like ox heart tomatoes, like the big fancy ones? Yeah. I bought those to make a.

Salad? Caprese salad. Like, tomato- Praise thee salad. No, caprese. Caprese salad. Tomato, buffalo mozzarella. Oh, yeah. Basil.

Yeah, that's nice. And vinegar. And vinegar and oil and whatever. And I tried- Yeah, and they were all soggy. You ought to see my guy on Alpha Markets. Oh, okay. There's the guy. Well, and they were all soggy. You ought to see my guy in Eltham Markets. Oh, okay. There's the guy.

Well, I'm moving out your way. When I get home, I'll be out in the sticks with you. Oh, if I fucking see you at the Sunday market, which I will. No, get over it. We're friends. I want to gatekeep it, like. You don't want to see me? No, I'll see you down there.

I wouldn't go to Eltham anyway. Oh, yeah, fuck. Righto down there. I wouldn't go to Eltham anyway. Oh. Yeah, fine. Righto. Okay. Fair. Fair. Up next.

Oh, don't. Fasten your seatbelts. Figuratively. Literally. Very funny. Very good. Hey, this is Elizabeth and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout-out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. That's tapas, Tony, and Ryan, podcast.

Noah Magnuson. Noah? I hardly know her. Sammy Reid. I hardly know her. Magnuson. Oh. Do you want to start again?

No, no, you go. Cassandra Bridget. Oh, hi, Cassandra Bridget. Your beautiful wife, Bridget. And Brandon Rideout. Ride out, ride on. Sorry. Thanks, Brandon.

Thank you so much for being part of our Patreon. You love to say it. And I'm so sorry. For what's about to happen. What's about to happen. Let me take a sip of water. Sorry, I should have hit the brake. No, no, no, no. I think this is the perfect time.

You stop down before we get into this because holy banana. Holy soft tomato from the brand market. So this air hostess the other day. Bless her. We're on this tiny little plane. We're all joking, the three of us, that we're like on a private jet. With fucking 90 other people, yeah. Yeah, but I think.

The size of a private jet. On a commercial flight., yeah. Yeah, but I think... The size of a private jet. On a commercial flight. And what was it, like, 50 seats? Yeah, it must have just been, like, not a busy route, so they're like, oh, we'll just put the small plane on or whatever. An American Airlines Eagle for those playing along at home. Yes. Now, I didn't even realise...

They do do these in Australia, but it's usually when you're going from, like, small towns, like, if you go to Dubbo or... Pontus Link is the... Yeah. But it's only one air hostess. Yeah small towns, like if you go to Dubbo or Moodra. Pontus Link. Yeah. But it's only one air hostess. Yeah, which I've never had before. I wonder how many air hostesses Kim Kardashian has on Kim Air.

Is Kim Air a thing? Well, that's her plane that she owns. Really? Fuck. Yeah, I know. Do we all think it was her first day? It had to have been. It had to have been.

Like, it actually had to have been. And you know what? People need to start somewhere. So, I'm not hanging shit on anybody who's first day is. On a plane that has multiple air hostess, so you kind of, like, watch and get a vibe and, like, get some experience and some confidence. And also, like, ask questions. Yeah. Be like, oh, is this what I should be doing?

And then the other person that she'd asked would have said, no, that's not what you should be doing. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, we could have told her. Yeah. Maybe it would have been better coming from a colleague. Now, I believe before any of the shit I saw happened that you got a bit of a clue before we even got on the plane that something might be awry? So, you know when you're at the gate and generally the person

who, like, is at the desk and checks you in as you scan your boarding pass and stuff is the person who's going to be on the plane? Yep. Well, she wasn't because that woman was absolutely lovely and she was chatting to us and she asked me where we were from and stuff. Yep, she was nice.

And anyway, so I'm like, oh, great. Like, it's a little plane. I was a little bit nervy. Yep. And we're walking, like, across the Aero Bridge and we get there and there's a flight attendant standing in the aisle of the plane and there was probably, so 50 people on the plane. I'd say five people were already on.

Yep. And then the guy in front of me kind of stops and I was like, oh, what's going on? She's standing in the aisle of the plane right at the front, like trying to fix up a curtain, which is fine. And how many aisles were there to walk down? So there's one aisle and she's just like standing across like the entrance to the thing pretty much.

Yeah. Like trying to fix this curtain. Fine. That's your job. Like that's all good. And then when the guy was standing there and she was kind of like, why aren't you getting on? And I was like, well, the entrance is being blocked currently by this job you're doing. Again, totally fine.

Like we all have to do our fucking job. But then she was just like, kind like fucked off at him snarky that we and i was just like oh and then i went oh sorry and she went yeah and i was like oh okay if you want me to go through you're in control of that yeah like you're actually you're the what do they say like gooseneck or whatever um and so she's like fixing up this thing and then he's like yeah you're actually, you're the, what do they say, like gooseneck or whatever. Yeah, bottleneck. And so she's like fixing up this thing and then he's like, yeah, you're in the way. She's like, oh, right.

Then she like hops out of the way and then like the rest of the 40 people that weren't on yet like all kind of like scurried through. And so I was like, that was a bit weird, but like, you know, it might be her fucking eighth flight of the day or maybe the woman who checked us in is going to come on the plane and she's just checking something like because i was like that's how it normally works uh but yeah so that's the clue that maybe should have um yeah i reckon she was given the wrong script that's my theory Because she- And when we say script, we mean script. Because she literally had a printed out script.

Hello, welcome to the flight. Yeah, to read out. And everything she said out loud, including just little pleasantries, was read off a piece of paper. If you've ever thought that you've come across AI in real life, it was like Rosie from the Jetsons. Like it was just like the company had created this person and she was saying all the right things but not like malfunctioning

a little bit or something. Yeah. I just thought the way you would punct punctuate sentences and you know go high and low and pause and it was like on anchorman when they're reading the prompt down they're like who's written it in capital letters like so the reason i think i think she was given a script for a big plane that had you know eight to ten staff on it. Yeah. Because she kept referring to, like- My colleagues. And the crew. Yeah.

Like, you're it, sweetheart. And so, what would happen on a big plane, I assume, is someone's, like, reading the- So, she's got the script in her left hand. Yeah. The phone intercom thing in her right hand. Yeah. And then she says, and as you can see in front of you, the crew are now demonstrating how to attach the thing. Yeah. And she goes, but your seatbelt, as you can see in front of you, the crew are now demonstrating how to attach the thing. Yeah. And she goes, but your seatbelt, as you can see.

And then you could see her going, well, no, you can't see because no one's doing that. I'll do it, but I don't have a spare hand. And you could just see it all kind of rolling out in real time and her going, oh, fuck, hang on. And then she popped the phone down, pick up the fake seatbelt, click it into place. It goes like, conk. and then she put that down, then she'd pick the phone back up and go, and if an oxygen mask drops, she puts the phone back down. But every time she put the phone down, it was like,

you can hear the sound of the phone hitting the ground, like, and then getting the piece of paper to read the thing. And, like, every... Oh, hang on a second, I was going to get the script. Thank you Yeah And then she put that back down Like click the thing back together And it was just

It was comical Well I think the line As you can see Demonstrated now And then everyone went I think that's you as well Yeah And she goes

Oh that's still me Okay sorry I thought I was just Narrating today Like it was like a Like four year-old, like a grade four class, like reading out like a play. Yeah. Now, because there weren't many-

Bless her. Bless her. Bless her. There were, I think, 12 rows on this plane, so it was a real little rickety thing. Yeah. And usually on a plane, say if there's 40 rows, by the time you give everyone a drink and make your way down the aisle,

you can kind of go back to the start and then start doing the trash routine. Or if there's two and they meet in the middle, it kind of all works out time-wise. I didn't think the timing of trash collection would be an issue. Multiple times on a 58-hour flight. 58 minutes. 58-hour, 58-hour flight. 58 minutes. 58-hour, 58-minute flight. Not even an hour we were in the air.

So, because there's not many rows, the reality is when you finish the service, you're only two minutes from giving the first row their drink. Yeah. So, what happens to any lunch? Well, so she's walking along the aisle, bless her, like offering everyone a drink and a snack. And she also had coffee going down the front. And so every time someone asks for a coffee, like, again,

when you're on a big flight, the coffee pot is like on, or they're holding it or whatever. But she goes, oh, you want coffee? Oh, okay. So she'd meander back down to the very front of the plane, get the coffee, come all the way back up. So it actually took her quite a long time to get. We were right at the back.

We were in the 12th row. We're basically in the toilet. Yeah, and it took her a long time to get to us. Fine, not complaining about the time. She says, oh, what can I get you, sweetheart? And I was like, oh, I'd just love some water, please. And she goes, absolutely. You order the same thing.

Producer Cam, also the same thing. None of us get a snack. We just get water because we're about to land anyway. Yeah, by the time some water, please. And she goes, absolutely. You order the same thing. Producer Cam, also the same thing. None of us get a snack. We just get water because we're about to land anyway. Yeah, by the time she's got to. And then so she gives us the water. She walks all the way back to the front of the plane with the trolley. And then she gets the trash bag and she starts collecting everyone's rubbish. Yep.

But collecting rubbish takes significantly less time than handing out all the drinks and the snacks and going up and down for coffee. How much time had elapsed between giving you your water and her asking for the cup back? So I take the piss a lot. I'm not taking the piss right now. I think about two and a half minutes.

Like I'm actually not even, I am not exaggerating. And now I know the answer to this, but I'll ask on behalf of the Tafas. How full was our cups? It was overflowing. Like, I had more saliva in my mouth than I had water. Like, there was just. One little sip. You done with that?

No, not really. But it wasn't like, but the thing was. Actually, you can see I'm not done. Yeah. And also, it wasn't as if she was like, oh, are you done? It was like, can I take that for you? And I was like, sweetheart, you've barely given it to me. Like, but don't even have it yet and you're asking for it back.

And anyway, and I was like, oh, still going on this one? And she went, oh, okay. Like, genuinely just like. We're about to land though, mate. Like, you just gave it to me. And she's just the biggest sweetheart. She's like, oh, can I help you? Can I take that? And I was like, oh, I'd actually like to drink it.

Like, is that okay? And then she goes, oh, okay. No, you do you, mate. She walks back down and then the pilot goes, we're about to land. So, she comes back with the trash and I'm like sculling this water because I'm like, oh, well, I don't want you to have to tip it out. Like, how rude. She comes back. She goes, are you done now?

And I go, yeah, I'm sure. Like, thank you so much. Best water I've ever had. And then, you know, like, what else am I supposed to do? Now, some would be, you know, potentially thinking that's the most random trash collection story on a 58 minute flight. But hold your hats, guys. I still don't understand this. I don't either. Their script must have been in the wrong order as well. The paper's back to front.

It was double-sided. She didn't realise. Sorry. She's double-sided. She didn't realise. So we get on the plane. We haven't even taken off yet. Like, I don't have a seatbelt on yet. Fairly sat down. And then she comes down the aisle with a big bag and goes, collecting trash, trash all good. Anyone have any trash?

And I went, oh. No, we just got here. And then I was like, should I have brought something? Yeah, did I leave something behind? Should I have given her something to do? Like, I didn't know. And she walked in and everyone, like, just every row went, no, what? And then the next row, what?

No. And I guess if you got on the plane, like, with a coffee or something, which is quite common in America, which I'd never seen before, but if you get on the plane with a coffee or whatever, you're not ready to throw it out because you've probably like just bought it well you'd either would have finished in the terminal and thrown out before you got on or it's a fresh one yeah there's no like there's no like you're not taking your last sip on the aero bridge yeah you know like that that's just not how you function like and then she was it was as if she was like asking for donations and when everyone said no it was as if she was, like, asking for donations

and when everyone said no, it was sort of like, well, fuck you then. Well, yeah, she looked, like, a bit defeated, didn't she? But she was just so lovely. It was like trash. Like, no, I'm good. She's like, what? She's like, oh, okay. But she was just lovely.

It was just like a Black Mirror episode, honestly. It was like the Twilight Zone. I don't even know what that show is, but it feels, like it was like a black mirror episode honestly it was like the it was like the twilight zone i don't even know what that show is but it feels like appropriate for this um and um don't know what city she's in now but um bless her bless her bless her it i wonder i know that you said like yeah i wonder if she's normally on a bigger plane or something. I wonder if people have seen like you go somewhere and you go, oh, that was their first day. Yeah. Because, you know, when you go somewhere and you go, oh, you're new. Or when you are like getting checked out and there's like two people working on the same terminal and they go, oh, it's my first day.

Like I'm just learning the job. And, you know, the other person is like, oh, yep. So you tap cash when they, you know. I wonder if anyone's got a story where they walked away and went, that was their first day. Yep. Let us know in the episode, Trey. We'll do some first day stories.

Yeah. Or maybe something you did on your first day and you went, yeah, I'll fuck that up. Yeah. We got a message in. Yeah. So I thought I was on a 747 and read the script and. Yeah. Fuck.

I mean, bless her. Again, bless her. What do you love to see, Tony Lodge? I have a love to see here from Arden Coutts. Arden Coutts. Who shared this in our Facebook group. And Arden said, after three years of working on my book, I finally published it. I know.

I actually commented and asked for the book dates, which will pop in the episode thread for today. That's awesome. Three years. Three years. Congratulations. Maybe it's your first day as well. First book?

Yeah, first book. First day as a finished book writer. But congratulations because massive work. It's huge. Massive job. I've got some Microsoft Word comedy from Melissa, which I love. Melissa. Yeah.

It's obviously a niche area, Microsoft Word comedy. Okay. Do you like a word formatting gear? Is that your area? I love word formatting gear. Yeah. My favourite gear. I can't believe it doesn't come up more often.

This is actually not that funny, but fuck. Great. Oh, well, you know what I love? Not really that funny Microsoft Word gear. Yeah, it's a sub-niche. It might be even further below that. But it's the niche I am in. Okay, maybe it's your first day on the podcast. Interviewer, can you explain this gaffe on your resume?

Yeah, so I spent six hours formatting in Google Docs, but you've opened it in Microsoft Word. Hilarious. Actually? Yes. Because, you know, when you drag, like... Because it's a gaffe? Yeah, I get it.

But, you know, when you, like, drag a photo... Oh. ..and then everything sets on fire and all the words go backwards and then all of a sudden it's in fucking French and you don't understand anything. Yeah. That is the thing about Microsoft Word. I'm a Google Doc girl now these days.

Yeah, I like a live document. Even though there is nothing more stressful than watching someone, like, edit your document while you're looking at it. Remember when you, me and Cam were all in the same cell of a Google Doc, like a spreadsheet? And none of us could figure it out and I kept reformatting the date and just the whole thing. But, no, that's very good gear. I really like that. Don't photos and Microsoft Word need to fucking sort their shit out?

Oh, I feel like they've broken up in the past and there's, like, tension there. Yeah, there's tension. You know what I mean? It's like an ex-boyfriend kind of vibe. Would it do them better or worse if we just go, you guys just need to spend a bit of time in the room together and just figure it out? Do you just watch us?

Yeah. Maybe we'll order us some food. We'll like order in some sandwiches. You guys can like actually just have a good old yarn. Maybe just find some middle ground. Yeah, and maybe if we all worked together, then collectively like the world would be a better place. Yeah.

Yeah. Let's have a sit down with Microsoft Word and just pictures, images. Where are they based? Where's their head office? Are we going near there? I imagine it's... I feel like it's a weird one, like Seattle or like Washington or something weird. No, not Seattle.

That's a bit too cool for Microsoft Word, I think. Redmond, Washington. Washington. Which one? Actually, though. Yeah, I don't know. No one does. That's off air chat. No one does. That's off-air chat.

We can figure out where Microsoft Word's based. But thank you so much for listening. Oh, more job chat tomorrow, which, you know what? It's worth the wait. TARFA's getting and people getting out of work. Yep. Good areas. Nothing better.

Normal or Nah is back, as is Katerina Schmeers. Oh. But that's tomorrow on the show. Love you. Bye. Bye.