Toni and Ryan - The Girl That's NOT In Veep

Episode Date: March 6, 2024

MANY MANY tangents - and we've ALWAYS said that. Love ya!!! SO MUCH!!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge. We are calling Ashley who lives in God's country. Perth. Perth, Western Australia. Oh, it'll be early there.

Really? Ash will be at the beach, I reckon. Morning swim. At City Beach. Maybe. Scarborough. Could be anywhere. City Beach. Maybe. Scarborough. Could be anywhere. Scabs.

Ashley. Ash. Hello. Oh, gosh. Hello. Ash, how are you? I'm excited to talk to you both. Oh, my gosh.

Get over it. Oh, my God. Now, Ash, are you going for an early morning Perth swim? And hypothetically, if that was a yes, which beach would it be? What beach would it be? It would be Scarborough for sure. I did say scabs. I did say that.

Scabs there. Yeah, but I've just done my hair and makeup, so I ain't getting that wet. Hell no. No, that's fair. It's the logistics of a swim and then the hair afterwards. I fucking feel you, girlfriend. Now, Ash, tell Tony what you do for a living because you could possibly

be future colleagues, I reckon. Oh, so I'm a wedding content creator. Tell Tony what you do for a living because you could possibly be future colleagues, I reckon. So I'm a wedding content creator. So what does that mean? So I go to weddings and I film the day on my phone. Then I create TikToks and reels out of it. But I also do events and photo shoots and stuff. So if you ever need me, let me know and i'll come follow you guys around and document it that is a really great

idea so rather than actually being the photographer or the videographer you're the tiktoker at the wedding basically so it's just you know we've got to roll with the times yeah i actually love that so we can post in real time because people would get the photographer and videographer anyway, but I feel like they're so formal and so like. And you just want a viral bit of your wedding day, don't you? They're a bit too serious where I feel like having Ash there with the phone and just having some fun is way better. Except on the I do's are you like, all right,

and I'll get you to flip so that I can do a transition later. Like, do you know what I mean? Like you're asking them to do crazy shit. Yeah, or if the groom doesn't cry when the bride starts walking down, like, wait, wait, stop, bring on the waterworks and then go back down and then come back and make him cry. He needs to lift. When you say I do, look at the camera and click because we'll do a transition.

To when your first baby's born. Yes, amazing. I'll be there for the birth too. Yeah, and you got you've got to be there you've got to be there uh ash yeah great chat hopefully you can uh do a wedding where tony's the celebrant one day that will never happen love that no yeah we're looking forward to it uh ash will you approve today's episode absolutely hell yeah Woo-hoo! Hell yeah. Hey, it's Ashley from Perth, and I approve this podcast. Yeah.

All right, thank you to everyone who's submitting their normal or not for the Tony and Ryan podcast Facebook group. I was about to say Happy New Year. Sorry, Beth. Sorry, Beth. Sorry, Beth. Sorry, Beth. We don't say that anymore. And I know that's been controversial.

And if you want to have your say, you can have your say in the Tony and Ryan Facebook podcast Facebook group, which is where these normal or nas are from. Oh, right back around to it. You were saying nice. Rachel. Hi, Rachel. Rachel asked normal or nahs are from? Oh, right back around to it. You were saying nice. Rachel. Hi, Rachel. Rachel asked normal or nah.

Pretending to faint or be dead in front of your pet to see if they really love you. How will they react? Will they show care and empathy or will they not give a fuck? Is this behavior normal or nah? Okay. You're asking a different question. Is it normal to do that? Normal. Is this behavior normal is what I believe the way Is it normal to do that? Normal.

Is this behaviour normal is what I believe the way that you just phrased it? No. Nah. Not normal behaviour, but yes, normal. I have done this. Yeah. And how did your dog Pippa react? She didn't care. She just kept licking her paws and I had to like pretend to not be dead for a second to

be like, stop licking your paws. Sad. Sad. Have you, did you ever do the thing like when you were a kid, like lay in the pool? Yeah, so that's what I do to BJ. Like face down? BJ doesn't give a fuck about anything, but when I get in the pool,

because Bronson is his full name, Bronson Johnson, that's why he's BJ, but he turns into Brondi Rescue when I'm in the pool. And so, but when, if I take Mabel into the pool, he's beside himself. Really? He's so concerned and he just stands there and watches I take Mabel into the pool, he's beside himself. Really? He's so concerned and he just stands there and watches everything. Does he like the pool? Like, has he been in there? No, he used to love the lake, but then we went to the big lake,

aka the ocean, and he didn't understand waves. The big lake? Because he used to go in the lake and it was. That sounds like, you know, like, oh, the big lake in the sky. But you know how it's like the lake is so calm. Yeah, and it's so gradual as well. Like you kind of walk in really slowly. Or he could run out 50 metres and still be up to his.

Yeah. And so then. You're about to say knees. Yeah. The dogs have knees? Well, they got that little bend. Oh, that'd be their wrist day. No, because they don't have arms.

And cool. I don't know. Because they got this, but they don't have arms. Ankle. I don't know. Because they got this, but they don't have this, is it? I think they do have that. No, they got a shoulder. But there's a bend in the middle. No. Yeah.

No. Google. No, it's a this. It's a leg. Dog. And then an ankle and a foot. And then it's like their shoulder. Okay, let me just see a picture here.

I've just Googled dog leg in Google Images. And now I'm finding pictures of golf courses because it's like a dog leg. Oh, yep, yep, yep. No. Because of the bend, yeah. So they've got ankles, knees, and shoulders. Well, no. Oh, I guess that would be the elbow technique.

Oh, yeah, I see what you're saying. Yeah. Did I sound like an idiot just then? No, because I think I'd be forgiven for not knowing that. Image of a dog. You're hearing the internal monologue of Tony working in real time today. Yeah, this is what happens in my mind every time. Do I sound like a fuckhead?

No, I'm okay. I'm so busy. Yeah, I guess that would be the elbow. And that would be the shoulder up there. Yeah, okay. I'll pay that. Sorry. Yeah, see, look.

Oh, that's a really good image. Did you just make this? Yes. It just seems oddly specific that this exists. We're going to put this photo in the episode thread today. But it just seems like very specific to what you were saying. Fucking AI, man. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, they know. Anyway. So he wasn't up to his elbows though because that would be like up here. But then he ran out to save me from the wave and he got dumped by this wave and so now he's a bit like. A bit nervous. Concerned about the water. Yeah, that's fair enough.

Yeah, but he's more concerned for others. So he'll like hover and like walk around the pool and like. And he does his little tap dancing around the deck. On the deck, yeah. But if I play dead in the pool, oh, no. Oh, my parents never gave a fuck either. It's a wonder I'm here today. When I jumped in the pond at my auntie and uncle's farm,

he like ran off the thing and launched in. He was going to save you. He jumped in. A reverse Madeline. Yeah, but then I had to fucking save him because he jumped in. He goes, fuck, Matt, what do I do? How do I get out? And then you had to save him.

Yeah. Madeline saved Genevieve from the. Did she? Yeah. I just had to feel like I had to finish what I was save him. Madeline saved Genevieve from the. Did she? Yeah. I just had to feel like I had to finish what I was saying, reverse Madeline. I didn't think anyone would get what I was saying. But Madeline jumps in the sand to get Genevieve in the film.

I feel like after Arseholes, Madeline is probably the second. Why? Have you watched a lot of Madeline recently? No, I just really like it. It's quite iconic. Do you like orphans? Where she. Is that it?

You know what? When I said to you, do you know Madeline? Yeah. I thought that was maybe the funniest thing I've ever said. Yeah, no, it wasn't. Yeah, it was good. It didn't really pop off the way that I hoped. Oh, but there was a lot of comments being like, I'm dead for Madeline.

Okay, yeah. We'll repost it. All right. It was the algorithm's fault, not yours. Yeah, I hoped. Oh, but there was a lot of comments being like, I'm dead for Madeline. Okay. We'll repost it. All right. It was the algorithm's fault, not yours. Yeah, I know. The fucking algorithm. Tony Lodge, you listening to this podcast, you decide when this story stops being sexy.

Oh, okay. All right. Josie says, I saw. We're going to be in trouble if I never say anything. What if I'm really into it? What if you found my kink? I'm like, fuck, I never thought this would come up. First of all, we don't yuck anyone's yum here on this podcast.

We don't. However, knowing you, I don't think this is your kink. I think this is your- I don't think you'll like it. This is your stink. Kink or stink. Write that down. Yeah, write that down.

Josie said, I saw the most handsome, gorgeous AF man in the airport. Nice. Full business suit, looks slick, sex appeal of a Greek god. And also in the airport, you're just like, where are they going? So mysterious. Why does being in an airport make you think you're the main character in a rom-com? But you see this guy and you're like, we'll probably get married.

You do really imagine your life. Is it because at an airport, okay, live brainstorm, is it because at an airport you've got a lot of time to kill? Yeah. Like when normally when you're going, like you're going from A to B somewhere, you're not like looking at people and being like, we could get married. You're like, oh, wow, my bus is late or I need to find a car park or something. You've got a lot of time to kill because you're there four hours early.

Yeah. But I wonder if that's why because you're kind of like still. Yeah, you've got time to think about it. You'll probably walk over and go, hey, where are you flying? Don't worry about it, sweetheart. Get on my jet and I'll just fucking rail you in the sky. Okay, well, that is my kink and you found it. Found it.

There we go. I thought you were going to say jet, like my jet. No, I wasn't. Okay. Good. Because neither of us are. If someone referred to their dick as a jet, I would throw up and never talk to them again.

If you're getting railed in a private jet above international waters, does that count? Count for what? I don't know. What do you mean count for what? Cheating? What are you asking me? Are you asking for a friend?

What's going on? Did you hook up with them and you're like, well, not really. Where? Well, technically nowhere. That time. And it was also time different. So that time doesn't exist because we went back in time. If you sleep with someone on the way from Melbourne to the US,

you can fuck them into yesterday. Wow. Again, you're finding my kinks all over the place. Josie says he's waiting to board the plane, looking hot as in his slick suit. And he looks like he flies a lot. He's a frequent flyer. Yeah, he knows what he's doing. He's up the front.

And then he decides to grab his AirPods from his ears and lick them both all over and then puts them back in his ears. Ladies and gentlemen, I think we've found the point where the story's not sexy anymore. Speak for yourself. Josie said, is this normal or nah? For me, obviously a massive nah and a massive boner killer. She was like, I was all revved up and then I was like, oh,

I'm not anymore. All good. Okay. What would the purpose of that be? Because I'm thinking like, you know when sometimes like you go, oh, if someone saw me do this, that would be disgusting, but everyone would do it. Like, you know, cleaning your ears with a Q-tip, right?

You go, oh, if anyone saw me doing that, that's hell rank. But, like, you know, everyone does it. So, like, you know that you do that in your, you know, you know that you do that in the privacy of your own home but you wouldn't want to see someone doing that. What purpose does that have? I. What is that, what are you achieving by doing that?

I'm a man sexy man with earbud thing. Okay. But. So we found your kink is what you're saying. If there's like, this actually doesn't make it better. It makes it worse. I've eaten one of those Harry Potter jelly beans that tastes like earwax before. And that's so fucking disgusting.

So it's all I can taste in my mouth. Maybe. And I've also like, this is foul. But you know when you've like itched your ear and then later on you like put your finger in your mouth and you're like, oh, there's wax on there. And it's disgusting, like, this is foul, but you know when you've, like, itched your ear and then later on you, like, put your finger in your mouth and you're like, oh, there's wax on there and it's disgusting. Okay, just me. Just kidding. Have you never done that?

No. Have you actually never done that? No. You've itched your ear and then accidentally later been like, ugh. But I'm never accidentally just, like, sucking my fingers. No, but, like, I don't know, maybe you like go to bite your finger, like bite a bit of skin off your finger or something, and you're like, eh, that's from the ear before.

Okay, keep going. You keep going. This will be our last video. Thanks for watching. I was going to say, actually, does it even matter anymore? Yeah, it does because I need you to say. Actually, it doesn't even matter anymore. Yeah, it does because I need you to say something. Maybe there's, like, dust in the air pod. Like, you know how in the little hole?

And, like, you need something wet to, like, get it out. And he's like, oh, just like. Okay. If that was the reason, right? The least I would ask is that he maybe went, did a lick on the finger. And then fingered it. And then, you don't lick directly, you can't go mouth to pod. And I've always said that.

You have always said that. Could that be the end of the show maybe? You got another one? Yeah, but the other one's got the word that starts with an A in it, so I'm going to skip that because of yesterday. Oh, so we can't do an arsehole, normal or nah? Oh, here's one from Cherie. Normal or nah-sehole.

I feel like we need to not end on that because then, like, we won't just hate ourselves. Yeah. The earwax in the mouth. I would like for people to come to my rescue on that and say that they've done that, like itched their ear. I've done it. Thank you. And thanks, Josie, for sending that through. Thank you, Josie. Cherie says, I've never put on a bra using the clips at the back. I always clip

them up first and put it on like a t-shirt, which is lazy, but a very effective method. Am I normal or nah? Nah. There's fucking or nah? Nah. There's fucking nothing normal about that. We've talked about this on the podcast before. Are you 12 years old? It's actually not okay. It's the same.

I feel the same way about people that clip it at the front and then swing it around. That's what Jenna said in solidarity in the comment section. Goes, oh, I clip it at the front and do the shimmy. No, not okay. They need to grow up, do they? Grow up. Or wear a bralette and don't wear a clippy bra. Do you know what I mean?

Like wear one that's just a band at the back? Ladies in movies always do the clips quickly and seamlessly, and that's not a relatable thing to me. I think that's just a Hollywood thing. Surely that's not a relatable thing to me. I think that's just a Hollywood thing. Surely that's not a real skill that people have. I can do it. Well, Hollywood Lodge would know. She's been there. I can also undo a bra with one hand on someone else.

Is that a thing? Because I feel like when you're a teenage boy, but like the pressure of like, oh, if you can't do that. There is actually nothing worse though than making out with someone, getting a bit hot and heavy, and then they're like fumbling around in the small of your back, trying to like disarm a fucking. You said small of your back, but you're slapping your hand on your face. But like I'm just trying to.

If someone is trying to undo your bra by hitting your face, they're way off. Yeah, I mean, they're way off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Turn the GPS on, mate. On more things than just the bra. Yeah. There's just nothing worse than being like fingered in the back until they figure out

how to do it. And like, there's also been times where you're like, oh, I'll just do it. And then you feel really guilty because you've taken that away from them. No. Ladies, you're not taking anything away. Ladies. I've got some dating advice. Dr. Love is in the house.

Don't feel like you're taking that away from me. Just do it. That's all good. Okay. Skip the middleman. Oh, no. I think, like, if there is – if you can't reach the back, then I – oh, but I just don't get it.

It's so, like, I don't know. If Tony can reach around the back with those little. My T-Rex arms. Little T-Rex arms. Yeah. Then you can too. I'm empowering you. Hey, it's Ashley from Perth and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.

A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. Sorry, that's really gotten away from me today. Do you want to take a sip of your juice? Yeah, I'll have a little, just some water though. I'll do Frank Green. It's nice and cold this morning. It is nice and cold. Thank you for asking. It actually sounds cold.

Does it? Yeah. It's because warm water is thick and that's not okay. So the colder, the thinner. Yeah. Or if it's boiling, it's quite thin as well. Like, you know, when you have a cup of tea and it's like. Yeah.

Very thin, very. Yeah. Okay. Shelby. Shelby coming around the mountain. The temperature affects the viscosity of the water. And I've always said that. Shelby, good on you.

Susan McLean. Love you, Suze. Michael. Just Michael. Oh, I actually talked about Susan. It might be Michael, like the movie where John Travolta is an angel. It might be that. Do you remember that movie?

No. What? Are you thinking City of Angels with Nicolas Cage? No, that movie's so fucking depressing. Is it? In the arms of the angel, fly away from me. That does sound depressing. Yeah.

That's something from that movie. Is that Meg Ryan? Yeah. Or am I thinking of You've Got Mail? No, you're thinking of the other movie that Meg Ryan's in, When Harry Met Sally. Is When Harry Met Sally and you've got male and the other one all the same one?

Yeah, basically. Just to check. Yeah, with a different love interest. Yeah, but we don't write letters now. Billy Crystal? No, no, no, no, no, no. That's the other one. Tom Hanks?

No, no, no, no, no. You're thinking of Sleepless in Seattle. That's the one I was thinking. Oh, I see. So it's like, so you know, this is the pitch of that movie agency. Yep. So you know that movie. That deeper voice.

So you know that movie when you wrote that girl a letter. Yes. Yes, sir. Yeah. So we're just going to refilm that. But instead of sending a letter, it'll just be like in an email. And she goes, great. Do we have to record all the scenes again?

They go, yeah, unfortunately. Yeah. And Tom Hanks is on board for this one. Yeah, and Tom Hanks is in for this one, yeah. We better do it quick because this internet thing isn't going to last for long. Yeah, and we think that we'll incorporate the Empire State Building somehow. Yeah, we've got to deal with the Empire State Building. We're getting like eight movies crossed over, I think. All based in New York, though.

I actually think, or Seattle. Oh, yeah. Seattle Street, New York though I actually think Or Seattle Oh yeah Seattle Street, New York Obviously Yeah obviously Sleepless in Seattle Is not based in New York

That makes sense though I'm glad that they Thought about that Where do you think Fast and the Furious Tokyo Drift was based? Fast and the Furious Guys we have a new website Not that anyone gives a fuck No hang on Fast and the Furious Tokyo Drift was based. Fast and the Furious.

Guys, we have a new website. Not that anyone gives a fuck. No, hang on. I haven't finished my shout outs. Susan McClane. Oh, Susan McClane and she from Die Hard. Yeah, no, Michael from the film. Michael with the angel.

Oh, I thought it was Ryan. No, it's got, do you know who it's got in it? Neither of us do, apparently. It's got the chick who's not in Veep. It's not Elaine. It's the chick that looks like Elaine. Starring any chick who's not Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Nice. It's not Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Nice. It's not Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

It's the chick that looks like her. What's her, what's she called, James? It's Andy McDowell. Andy McDowell! No, I'll actually play that. She does look like her. They look exactly the same. She does look like not me.

No, I will play that. Thank you. Yeah, you have to. Legally, I fame. I will pay that. Thank you. Yeah, you have to. Legally, I think, because it was that. It was so close that James Googled that first quote. Who's the chick who's not Louis Dreyfus' father? Oh, Andy McDowell. Yeah, that's it.

Oh, yeah, Andy McDowell. Oh, you must mean Andy McDowell. Google said, do you mean Andy McDowell? He typed in Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Google said, do you mean Andy McDowell. Google said, do you mean Andy McDowell? He typed in Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Google said, do you mean Andy McDowell? He goes, yes, I actually did. And then Google said, have you seen the movie, Michael? And if I Google, you want to know, if you Google the two,

it says Reddit confession. Up until today, I thought that they were the same person. That's actually from my burner Reddit account. I posted that. Did really well. Got heaps of upvotes. Are you still doing the fucking shout outs? Yeah, I am.

You said you were Googling something. Also, who was the Susan that we mentioned? McLean. I mentioned? McLean. I mention Susan McLean all the time at home because every time Mabel has a nap, I say, good snoozing, Susan McLean. That was actually worse than the Andy McDowg here. Maren Thompson, good on you, Maren.

I'm just trying to say that she's a part of our life at home, whether she knows it or not. She is, yes. Suze, you are a part of our life, so on you, Maren. And Hexagonal Spud. Well, I'm just trying to say that she's a part of our life at home, whether she knows it or not. She is. Yeah, Suze, you are a part of our lives and we've always said that. Michael, obviously more so. Hexagonal Spud as well, chatted to you the other day. Don't know what your real name is, but I'll take it. HS.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm fucking trying to recover from that. That was really like an incredible moment of my life that I actually, I think like on my deathbed, I'll be like, do you remember Ryan when we were talking? Sorry, did you just break another chair? No, I didn't break a chair.

It just slimmed back. Are you sure you didn't break a chair? Yeah, it's not broken. I hate to tick off another bingo. You can't keep leading me to bingos. That's not how it works. Anyway. We've got a new website, guys.

We've got a new website so people can stop messaging us being like, your website fucking sucks. TonyandRyan.com.au. It looks awesome. And on there, there's a heap of new merch. So go and check that out. There is a Tony and Ryan, what do you even call the, is it called a Tumblr?

Yeah. It's like an iced latte cup. If you're a hot girl who drinks iced lattes and iced coffees, it's like a reusable one so it's good for the environment and it looks hot as fuck or a smoothie and it's got the silhouettes on it. With Tony's new, you have to keep the fringe because of the silhouettes. Yeah, I'm just redesigning the fringe and it's going through a bit of a transition process.

There's beanies, jumpers, like heaps of stuff. There's the start the fucking blog mug. Yep. Start the fucking blog notebook for all of your blog ideas. There's actually a lot of great stuff there. It's really cool. And we actually get to like be part of like the design process, which you'll be able to tell from how it looks, I guess.

But like, it's really fun. Like I actually really enjoy doing it. But there was a. Looks sick. So we're chatting to the person that helps us out. Her name is Siri, ironically. She's a tarpa. Yeah.

Because we're part of the tarpa economy, keeping the world going around. We are. Thank you very much. So thanks tarpa Siri for helping us with the website. Tarpa Siri. Now, Siri goes, do you want a FAQ section? And I haven't seen Tony lose her mind since we mentioned Veep and Andy McDowell.

Well, as you know, around you I'm normally saying yes, screaming yes, if anything, but I screamed no. Yeah. Because I just think that FAQs are for fucking assholes. Why? Sorry, more asshole chat. Fucking asshole questions is what we call them. Why is that, mate?

I just think, like, if someone is taking the time to message or email you a little question, the least we can do is respond and be like, oh, send it here. You know when you, like, we can do is respond and be like, oh, send it here. You know, when you like read an FAQ and it's like, oh, if you want to do this, go here. If you want to do this, go here. You want to do this, go here. I'm like, oh, like if someone needed to know how to do that, the least you could do is

reply to a fucking email or an Instagram DM or something. So when we create TonyandRyan.com.au and you and you say no faqs just email me and ask yeah see this is the other thing because if only there was a page that answered these questions for us so you because you've said this you'll get the email yeah but like so then we create a page on the site that kind of just like answers questions that like gets asked. I'm really Natalie Imbruglia about this, very torn, because as someone that's like awkward and doesn't like to bother anyone, I'm like an FAQ is actually perfect for me because I get to like find out the answer to my questions without having to bother anyone.

So I feel like I'm kind of coming around. one. So I feel like I'm kind of coming around. But the people who, and I think you'll agree with me, people asking for an FAQ or people like that are asking those little questions like, where should I put my rubbish? Oh, in the bin. Aren't the same people reading an FAQ. The people that are looking through an FAQ are like, oh, my question still hasn't been answered.

I need to ask someone. I went shopping the other day to buy stuff for the new studios and furniture. Oh, yeah. And they had a sign that said, because it was like a warehouse sale. Yeah. Sample sale. Everything must go. And they had a sign that was like, you kind of like check in when you enter the place.

That's cool. Like COVID check in. Kind of, but you have your details because only so many people could go in at once. But then when you got to the counter, you tell them your phone number and because you've checked in, they already know where to send it and your name and it's actually like very efficient. That's good. But not an FAQ, obviously, not the same thing.

There's this sign at the front going, before you come up to the counter, please make sure you've done this thing to keep it moving. And I walk up and I go, hi, here's the thing I've logged in. Here's the number. And she goes, oh, thanks for actually reading it because no one does. The people that need an FAQ are the people who wouldn't fucking read it. Yeah. And there's signs everywhere.

And I was like, but there's signs everywhere. And she goes, yep. I have to say, though, that this feels a bit out of character for you because you aren't a big, like, you know, you're tapping your cart on the way out of the parking lot. You know, you're not doing it where you're supposed to. Like, you're not an instruction abider. No, but I am.

You're not a by-the-book guy. No, but I am also a low maintenance. So if I know it's going to be easy and I don't have to cause a scene and I can just go in and get the fuck out. So when they go, oh, it makes it really fast at the other end if you've got this ready to go, and I just go, cool. Oh, good dog. Yeah, if that'll be faster later.

Yeah, okay. Well, so do you think that I should change my stance on FAQ? Well, are you personally going to take care of all the questions that come in? No, because I actually can't. There's so many. What are things? Let's do a live FAQ. Okay.

I ordered merch and it didn't arrive immediately. Okay. This is actually on the website. Contact. There's the email address. Yeah, that you can contact. Can I send Tony and Ryan something? No, we don't accept GIFs.

That isn't on the website. And that is an email we get a lot. But I think the one of the least we can do. Are you guys together? The thing though that we could. Should there be an FAQ about podcast related questions? Maybe. So there's like a page that's like, no, they're not together.

They're good friends, but Ryan has actually never put his penis inside Tony during work hours. Yeah. I mean, home time's home time and that's not one's business. What else do we get asked all the time? We do get asked for people to send gifts, but we say no gifts because the biggest gift that you could give us is like by listening, sharing the videos or joining Patreon or whatever.

We should be sending you gifts. Yeah, exactly. The gift, I guess, is our voice and that Andy McDowell gear from earlier. Happy Christmas. But, like, we do get asked that a lot. But I think that if someone wants to send us a gift, the least we can do is just reply to the fucking email. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. And say, that's all good. Thanks for listening. Like, thank you so much. Here's a link to my Andy McDowell-related gear from earlier. No gifts required. Let me send you the air hog video from two years ago. You know?

Oh, my God. Is Andy McDowell in Groundhog Day? I don't know. Is she? Which is? The air hog. We've come full circle. She's a tarp up.

Ah! So. Tarpy McDowell. That's what I call her. In the space of, I'm just going to ignore that because I fear for our sanity if we go down that path. Okay. So should we do an FAQ? Not seven minutes ago.

No, because I'm always. You claimed FAQs are for arseholes. The thing is though. Are we the, is the ask of the arsehole or the answer of the arsehole? I think that it's, no, I don't know. I just think it's lazy from the people like, oh, well, you can't be bothered replying to an email for your business. Do you know what?

That's my thing. It's not the people asking the question aren't the asshole at all. It's because they're trying to ask to like do the right thing. Yeah. But like I'm saying that like if you've got an FAQ on your website, it's like why can't you reply to six messages that come through and ask you if I can send a gift, do the thing, whatever. Is he putting it in? Yeah.

Yeah. Are they fucking? Okay. So this is what we're going to do. Can people vote on whether they think it's lazy or not? And then we'll put one up. It just feels really like not personal to have an FAQ in my mind. But you as a customer like an FAQ.

Yeah. That's true. Let me have a look. What's on our, What is on this website? Oh, nothing because the internet's fucking shit here. Oh. No, there's lots of stuff on there. There's like information about us, collaboration request stuff.

There's a picture of you. How to submit stories. So we ask for like if you've got confessions or normal or nas or like some fucked story you've got that you want to tell us. Oh, this is a good part. I'll tell you why. Because some people say I've got normal or nas, but I don story you've got that you want to tell us. Oh, this is a good part. I'll tell you why. Because some people will say I've got normal or nas, but I don't have Facebook.

Yeah. So now you can submit them on the website. You can put all your normal or nas in there. This is good. Oh, there's a contact page. And it actually, you know, where were you? I was in all those meetings. I don't think you were.

But on a contact page, is that where you'd find an FAQ? No, I think maybe like you would have another page of FAQs. Normally people have like an FAQ page. Oh, I found a mistake. Okay. Well, shush. Yeah, that doesn't work. Okay.

I was going to say. Okay. Don't say anything. Yeah, we can edit that. Yeah, yeah. So FAQs are out? Well, maybe people could decide in today's episode thread. Put in the episode thread your shit questions.

Yeah. And like real shit. We'll answer them. And then we'll put on the FAQ page and there's just like these random questions. Like FAQ. Do you put milk in spaghetti bolognese? Oh, no. Oh, my God. We're not putting that on there.

Do you put your tongue in your AirPods to clean them? Do you know who Andy McDowell is? What about NFAQs? Not frequently asked questions. And it's just a page of gear. Like us just being hilarious. Just doing jokes. I like that.

Okay. Today's episode thread, if you can decipher any of this, just tell us what to do and we'll do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll listen to the people. And if you think we should do an FAQ, we can. For my love to see it, I've got a celebratory, sorry, a celebratory or a celebrity fisting. They're different.

Celebrity. Celebratory fisting would be like, oh, I got that new job. Woo! I think it's a celebratory fisting. Yeah. Although the way I've typed it, it's half celebratory and half celebrity. So the error on the website is obviously your fault. I don't know whose fisting it is.

That's all right. You tell me the story and then we'll decipher the fisting. Do you remember how Lucy Fist was the approver the other day? Yeah, Lucy Fist. Lucy Fist said, I was the approver and I went and bought some wine the same day and had to show ID. And the person at the wine store says, are you the Lucy Fist from Tony and Ryan? No. He then complimented my new haircut and gave me a bottle of wine for free.

And are they going to fuck each other? I think you missed the celebratory fisting part of the story. No, I don't know that. Oh, I was like, oh, my God. No, no, it was just purely tarpers in the wild hanging out. That's amazing. It's the tarp economy, like how we use Siri for the website. He's hooking up with wine.

Everyone's just helping each other out. Start the fucking blog. Get a fist in your eye. That's what I've always said. Yeah. Fisting facts. Do you now know why I put this? You'd love to see it today and not yesterday.

I mean, it still would have worked because there wasn't any actual fisting. It was just like big loosey fist, but that's okay. Big loose. Big loose fist. I didn't actually think about the loosey-ness part of the loosey fist. Yeah, loosey-goosey, fisty-wisty. Yeah, well, it's loosey the Lucy fist. Yeah, Lucy, Goosey, Fisty, Wisty. Yeah, well, it's Lucy after the fist. Yeah, it would be too, yeah.

Anyway, I love Lucy. She's a fucking doll. She is a sweetheart. My love to see it is that... A sweetheart with a sweet new haircut and a free bottle of wine. Yeah, and don't you love to see that? A free bottle of wine goes down all right after a long day, doesn't it? So does Lucy.

Woo! Yeah, she told me. Anyway, my love to see it is that the other day I was driving to the office and there's like a little Suzuki Swift behind me. It wasn't a Jimny? No, it wasn't a Jimny, unfortunately. A little Suzuki Swift behind me and this guy is driving and there's like a woman in the front passenger seat

and they're about the same age. I'm guessing their husband and wife or, you know, something like that. And she is wearing like quite a fancy, what I'm going to call a job interview outfit. Ooh, like a lady suit, a power suit? Yeah, she's wearing like a beautiful like silk blouse. I saw all of this from my rear-view mirror, by the way. They got rear-view mirrors. They, by the way. It was like.

They're rear view mirrors. They're a great way to. Yeah, spy. Yeah. And he was driving her. Yeah. And she was straightening her hair in the front seat. Like she had one of those cordless straighteners.

Do you love to see that? Or is that terrifyingly dangerous? No, well, I just thought it was really sweet that he's obviously. She's like, oh, my God, I'm running late for my job interview. And he's like, sweetheart, I've got it. I'll jump in the Swift. You get in the passenger seat, doll face. You keep straightening that hair and we'll fucking.

Plug the straightener in. No, it was cordless. But wouldn't it be funny? You know the old cigarette. In the cigarette lighter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But wouldn't that be, because aren't they fucking dangerous? What do you mean? Like, you know, in the traffic and she bumps herself with the straightener.

Can't you burn your head off? Well, I guess you could. But I thought it was really sweet. No, that is sweet. Like, obviously, she's gone, oh, you know, in the traffic and she bumps herself with the straightener. Can't you burn your head off? Well, I guess you could. But I thought it was really sweet. No, that is sweet. Like, obviously, she's gone, oh, my God, I'm running late. I can't do my hair. And he's gone, sweetheart, I fucking got you here. Yeah.

And he drove her to the thing. That is sweet. And I, like, pulled up at the lights. I'm, like, watching them, like, behind me. I was like, that is so adorable. They've got their shit down pat. Yeah, it was really, really sweet. I love to see that.

I love to see that. That's awesome. Yeah. Tomorrow, we have a video show. Video show. Which means you can watch it on the Spotify app on your phone or your smart TV. And the category tomorrow is things that definitely aren't and should not be awkward, but also are definitely extremely awkward.

My life. Yeah. That's my second book title. All right. We'll chat to you then. Love you. Yeah. That's my second book title. All right, we'll chat to you then. Love you, bye.