Toni and Ryan - THE GOLDEN TICKET TARPer

Episode Date: October 12, 2025

[VIDEO FOR THIS EP AVAILABLE ON YOUTUBE] Year of winning - 2026 CALENDAR AND GOLDEN TICKET TARPer - HOT TAKE TONI - love ya!!!!!Become a Champion TARPer by 1 November 2025 for your exclusive 2026 Calendar and the chance to be crowned the Golden Ticket TARPer! - SIGN UP NOWCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey friends, it's Nikaela from the podcast Side Hustle Pro. I'm always looking for ways to keep my kids entertained without screens. And the Yoto Mini has been a total lifesaver. My kids are obsessed. Yoto is a screen-free audio player where kids just pop in a card and listen. Hours of stories, music, podcasts, and more. And no screens or ads. With hundreds of options for ages 0 to 12, it's the perfect gift they'll go back to again and again.

Check it out at yotoplay.com. This episode is sponsored by the Audible original Pride and Prejudice, an intimate performance that will have you falling in love with the Jane Austen classic all over again. One of the greatest romance novels ever written. Your wife Bridges a Pride and Prejudice fan, isn't she? Huge, loves it. Well, she'll love this. It stars a full cast, including Marisa Abella as Elizabeth Bennett and Harris Dickinson as Mr. Darcy.

Plus Marianne Jean-Baptiste, Will Poulter, Bill Nye and Glenn Close as Lady Catherine DeBerg. This new adaptation is vibrant and modern with an original new score by a Grammy-nominated composer. Whether you're fresh to Pride and Prejudice or want to revisit a cherished favourite, you're in for a new and delightful listening experience. Listen to the new Pride and Prejudice at audible.ca slash jane Austen. One tarpa will be selected to receive The Golden Ticket. The golden ticket tapper will receive. Isn't that such a great prize I'd love to win?

It's blown your wig clean off. I'm Jody from Canberra. My name is Devon from Greensburg, Indiana. I'm Laura from Fargo, North Dakota in the United States. And I approve this podcast. Hello, welcome to the podcast. Just a regular day here at Tarp Tower. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast.

What's wrong with my welcome? We're just doubling up. Oh. Willie welcome. Willie welcome. Nothing to see here. Pretty average. day.

Tony, for those listening to the podcast, why is it a slightly different day? I don't know.

Yeah, if you're not watching, if you're just listening, welcome. We love everybody equally.

Yep. Ryan is currently dressed as Willie Wonka, jeans version. He's got, yeah, not Gene Hackman,

who I thought it was. Curly wig, a brown top heart, a purple jacket, and the stick, which might become an oh H&S hazard soon, but we're going to roll with it for now. It's very fun.

I've got a vest in the shirt and I'm feeling good. And the bow tie. Is in theatre blacks with white overalls with big orange buttons and green hair because she is an umpalumpur. Yeah. Yeah, we asked for two Wonkers and they must have been a bit of a mix up at the factory. So I've taken the bullet of the Ompa today. And we've got a huge announcement, which is why we're wearing this, which we'll get to you soon.

But first... And it is related. Sort of. No, I think it is. Yeah, it's kind of a long bow, but like, you'll get it. Do you know what I mean? It's actually a regular-sized, but I was going to say it's not a short bow. It's not a short bow.

I'd say a regular-sized bow. Okay. Now, I am holding my stick and my microphone in the same hand, pretending it's the same thing. And you're being so careful for it to not make a noise, but... Yeah. Yeah, okay. Charles has enough to deal with. Do you know what I mean?

If you're new here, 2025 is the year of winning. Yeah. Now, if you see like, oh, tag two friends to win this contest and you're like, oh, I don't want to annoy my friends. Tag Tony and I. We fucking love it. Yeah. And if you win something, all you need to do is go to our website and tell us what you won

because we want to win a thousand things this year. Yeah. So I've got a year of winners update. Oh. And make sure you put it in the website because it doesn't count if you just pop it on the Facebook group or whatever. Now, Griffin was on a cruise ship. I mean, Griffin's already won with the name Griffin.

Right. He's on a cruise ship and they're like, they're like playing deal or no deal. Okay. Yeah. And so. Can you win 200K? Well, no, not quite. But he got down to the last two cases and you know how it works?

Yeah. So there's a $40 one left and a $1,000 one left. A thousand dollars. Yeah. And then the banker offered $4.68. And you wouldn't even have to pay tax on that because you're in international of waters so true what would you do you've got a $40 yep a thousand dollar yep or the bank's offering 468 or nah no deal really yeah i think i'm going one more case because at that point you've only

got to open one at the time like that's the whole thing yeah but you could knock out the thousand and only get 40 nah i reckon i reckon you've got the thousand in you well Griffin took the four hundred and sixty eight chalk that up as a win but then you know how when you're on tours they've got like little side trips for $468 he booked himself a sea plane ride over Alaska from the cruise ship what yeah we have got to go on a cruise gold coasts unrelated genuinely have to go on a crew that sounds a man what so you fly off the boat yeah first of all that's like Leonardo decaprio shit yeah or maybe it was like a little helicopter but yeah and so he's got this cash and like what should we do and like oh do you want to go on the

seaplane cruise and like like you know go up there and he's like fuck yeah well i didn't know that there was a sea plane play tour so if you go well we've got enough for that then yeah you go that's taken care of thank you very much uh Hannah Ferguson amazing win amazing win Hannah Ferguson not the hand of cheek no uh different one uh one a sleep over at a natural history museum in london spooky no no no no no my eight year old arthur and his dad went for a sleepover. A great fucking name, Arthur. Isn't that good?

And they slept in the dinosaurs area of the Natural History Museum. He's always wanted to go to London. And so we went down for the weekend and did some sight seeing he had the best time ever. That is a really awesome thing to win. But spooky. That's spooky. Would you sleep in a museum? I've slept in some places.

I could not sleep in a museum. No? No way. All the old bones and stuff. There's definitely ghosts in there. And have you seen no? on the museum, stuff they get into up there? Fun.

No. Jonathan Gilbert from Salt Lake City. Gilbert. So Jonathan entered a charity drawer. So you know those like the money all goes to charity and people donate prizes? Oh, yeah. Because one of the prizes was dinner with Emily Blunt and her husband, which is John Crasansky.

That is amazing. What a prize. And guess what happens? Well, it's a year of winning. Are you telling me they won? No, he only won a brand new Mercedes Sprinter van plus $60,000 worth of interior customization to make his van life dreams come true.

Still hasn't met Emily Blunt, though. Or John Krantzky. Yeah. I would take the Sprinter van, though. Yeah. Plus 60 grand to jack it up. To butt it up. Would you do van life?

Yeah. I think I would too Can you imagine Torb's Piper and I Just like fucking cruising around A little van I reckon you should do it I would love that

It feels like something that in my life But if you're gonna do it Can you just like ask me first Of course I'd ask you Because if I just like turn up here next week And there's a fucking van in the front yard The house is gone And there's just a van

There's a van here Michael Jordan's knocked it down Because he owns the place We sold it to him for 80 million dollars Chloe's in Dunedin in New Zealand, the motherland. Dunedin, that's a party city. Some millionaire made his riches as a property developer and had this kind of and kind of was like, oh, I just, you know, I've done pretty well out of property.

I feel like I want to help other people get involved. Amazing. And she won $100,000 to go to her home deposit, like her first home. What? From this rich guy. He's like, yeah, I'm doing this thing. Like, everyone get involved and. Adrian Portelli.

Yeah. That's a mass. A hundred thousand dollars. Yeah. These are really big wins. I was expecting like, I wish you hadn't done such big wins on the day we're announcing a potential win because... Do you want me to pull it back a peg?

Yeah. Have you got someone that's won like a ice cream or something? Vicki Short is in Telford. Oh, there's a rivalry we haven't known about. She showed me this thing and I'm like, oh, you've gone to bingo loco. And she said, no, I went to Bingo. Bongo's Bingo, which only I can assume is a poor man's loco bingo logo. Yeah, it's loco how similar they are.

Yeah. Now, this one actually, instead of being like a bit of a dance party at the end, this one goes full rave at the bingo. What you win is drugs to have fun at the end. So. Bongo's bingo, that sounds shit. They actually had all these amazing prizes. Sounds awesome. Friend of the show, bongo bingo.

And one of them, saying a fashion prize feels weird, but it's like, it was an amazing outfit, was up for grabs. Oh, that's cool. And... I mean, we've already won. Yeah. And so, Vicky Short, who's a Tarpur in Telford. Yeah.

Where's Telford? Next to South Telford. It sounds the UK. Yeah, I'm fine. So, she's actually sent a photo. A photo. Because instead of just winning the price, she's like, well, I'm just going to wear it tonight. Amazing.

And keep Raven. Of course. So this is a picture of Vicky Short. She won a blow-up chicken costume. That's amazing. And of course you would put that on. Yeah. And that's her wearing it.

We'll pop it on the screen as well. That is so fun. Well, bongo, bingo, you've done it again. Yep. now our goal this year was to get to a thousand wins yeah well yeah what are we at give us a fucking tally update i can say i really just like no i'm wearing this outfit you know what i mean like i'm super aware of the fact that right now i've got a green wig on in early october mid-october we're trying to get a thousand wins on the board on the board for the year

we are 850 wins away from 2,000 1,150 wins are on the board We've done it folks, we've done it A thousand wins already Oh yeah, that's blown My own hat off

Crazy Sorry, without that you really look like a founding father what's a founding father is like Alex Cooper yeah it is thank you yeah you look really what a great compliment

yeah that is actually a huge compliment if someone said that I look like Alex Cooper I'd fucking throw up and go you're a liar so it sounds like the tarpers are cleaning up so does it mean that they don't need another win no they need more I reckon we should keep pushing for 2000

to be honest I mean we're about to give you a pretty big one that you can win yeah all right with no out no no fow further ado yeah with no further fondos oh two more yeah i love a fondue i've never done a fondue have you what have you done for the first 31 years of your life i know have you done a fondue yeah i fond don't oh there was a fondue in for you can't believe what did you call me there was a fondue in Fiji.

Your fond joking. Yeah. A fantastic fondue fountain in Fiji. You wouldn't fucking believe it. Well, I was here with my broken foot. Charles nearly drowned. You were fond doing. He didn't have his floaties on.

He had to have his floaties on. So at the Radisson, where we went for dinner, this really nice Italian place, it was impossible. I was here eating kebabs in the nude. It was actually impossible to find the bathroom. and I was like, Charles, you're right, you're gone finally. He goes, yeah, I couldn't find the bathroom. And I accidentally ended up in a fondue. What?

Yeah. If anyone's been to the Italian restaurant at the Radisson in Fiji, they will know you can't find the bathroom without going through the fondue. Everyone knows that. Let me know in the comments. How specific, I know? Niche. But if anyone's been to the Italian at the Radisson and Fiji, they will know.

Okay. I haven't been so hard. I don't know. But I can only imagine. Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, the 2026 Tony and Ryan calendar is coming. It's happening. And the 2020, the 2025 calendar, the month just ticked over. It's the month when you're eating me as a hot dog.

Which is great news. We love a costume. We love a costume. We'll put that on screen. So it is back because a lot of people last year were like, oh my God, where do I get it? How do I get it? And the thing is, you cannot buy the calendar. The only way to get a calendar.

is to be a champion tarpa, and this year it is on the 1st of November. Is the cut off. Is the cut off? So first of November, whoever's a champion tarpa on the 1st of November, they're getting sent a calendar. And we can say this year,

they are printed on demand in your continent, which means less waste, let's delivery, it's going to be there on time, it's going to be sick. Yeah, it won't take as long to come. It's going to be sick.

And also, if you sign up right now, you're in. You're in because you get a month is a minimum. And so you sign up, today, boom, you'll be there for November 1. Yeah. So that's going to be awesome.

And last year, they were very, very popular and there was a little bit of FOMO. Don't miss out because we're... Because you can't buy them. You can't buy them. You can't buy them. Like, it's only available for Champion Tappas. And we've started planning this year's calendar. And last year was fucking sick.

This year... Is off the fucking chain. It's off the fact. I'm actually... It's cool. If Tony randomly... Like, January is fucking next level. Like, it's crazy.

Yeah. And I'm like, I hope you survive the shoot. Yeah, me too. Because, hey, what's art without danger? It's so true. And can I add another exciting thing about signing up for the calendar? Yep. Is that because now we've been making this podcast for over four years,

our Patreon has been around about the same amount of time. So if you signed up for the first time, you would get access to everything for over the last four years. Yep. So you get to enjoy all of the current tier like perks, but also all the shit we've done for the last four years. So if you haven't watched a tarpathon yet, you get access to those, watch those back.

All the live from DCIs, the live streams. All of the live streams that we've done. How's our Ryan Bingo going this year? I think it's done, but I have forgotten about it. And the other day, I'm not even joking. I woke up and went, Ryan Bingo Must be more you guys

What the fondue That's what I did with the year of winning I went oh Oh my gosh Oh my bingo So I'll check in on that You can sign up and go find out for yourself Yeah

Yeah yeah do a bit of your own work So everyone who signs up to be a champion tarpa From today But on November 1 is the day You will get sent a calendar Yeah And I mean that sounds pretty good That's pretty good

That's pretty good So let's stop there Nah No No One tarpa will be selected to receive

the golden ticket and I've got a golden ticket I've got a golden ticket Now it makes sense Willie Wonka golden ticket Now I'll do the voice So to be the golden ticket tapper We'll receive

Wherever you are in the world We'll be flying you and a friend To Melbourne Australia To come to Tarp Tower Tony and Tony and Ryan will personally pick you up from the airport holding signs

that they've crafted saying welcome to Australia. We'll then get Frappes from the McDonald's Thrive Through. You'll come to Top Tower for recording of the podcast where you will read out the normal or nars during an episode. Normal?

Check out the weird bedroom in our office. Yes, Ryan Jacks off in there. And most importantly, you will be in charge of what we order for lunch on the day of recording, which as we know, very high pressure decisions and then we'll all have dinner together and it'll all be awesome after that then where I'm up to oh flights included five nights accommodation including one thousand

dollars spending money a UD so non-American dollars don't do the exchange rate it's really depressing uh so we'll be hanging out but you can still live it up and explore the greater city in the world oh what rhymes with slap Tuggy bag. What? The Tarp Goody bag? Holy shit. Thanks for mentioning it, Tony.

Oh, oh. I wish that I was getting a slap toggy bag, though. It's blown your wig clean off. It's blown my wig clean off. What's in the Tarp goody bag in the hotel you say? Well, there is a one of a kind. One only made Tarp merch. Also, this is for you and a friend, so probably two of those.

I guess we have to make two. Two of a kind merch. Is it you and a friend in Australia with two and a kind? merch, you will get a hand-drawn map of Melbourne showing where Tony and Ryan met, where Tony and Ryan first got drunk, where other tarpers recommend you visit, explore, eat and drink. You'll get personalised recommendations from Tony and Ryan about what to eat from the Vic Gardens Food Court. Hopefully the shit we used to...

That's really money can't buy shit. Especially as we haven't been in a few years since we don't live in Richmond and hopefully our recommendations are still there. We don't know what is closed down. You'll also get a list of tarpa-approved pools if you want to get wet for life. Which you will, depending on the time of year, you can't. Yeah. But basically, someone who's a champion tarpa on November 1 is for wherever you are in the world.

We're going to fly you and a friend to Australia, put you up for a week and give you the Tarp Tower experience. Now, if they are from Melbourne, it's going to look a bit shit, isn't it? But you'll still have a great time. We'll pick you up from your house. Yeah, we will pick you up from your house and do all that fun stuff. And considering we've like allocated some accommodation, if you want to stay in the accommodation you can, or if we want to do something crazy with that money instead, like whoever gets this is going to get the works. Well, yeah, but for Tees and C's...

Because you are the golden tipper. You are the golden ticket. Who is the golden tapper? Um, for legal purposes, though, you will be called the golden ticket tapper. and all of those things will be available to you. We're really excited. We've never done this before. We're going to fly people to Melbourne to hang out with us.

It's fucking so sick. So, if that sounds like something that may be on either. Then I would make sure that you join up. But all of the information is going to be coming. Any questions you've got, pop them in today's episode thread, and we can answer them all. But it's really exciting stuff and we're really pumped about it. We're really excited.

the golden target tippet target ticket tarpa the golden ticket tarpa for legal reasons yeah it's going to be fucking awesome we can't wait to invite you and show you around tarp tower yeah and whilst we said oh if it's in melbourne that's a bit weird if you're also really fucking far away that's going to cost us a lot of money but like we're in we're in yeah like we're fully committed we're going to draw it during november like tony said all the details will be in patreon and all the nits and nitty and we're going to share everything you won't be left without any information um How did Timile Shamelay do the whole movie without his hat falling off? I actually have to be very honest with you.

I fell asleep five minutes into that movie. So I couldn't tell you whether his hat's still on or not. But glue, probably. Yeah, okay, okay. But all the details will be there. All the logistics chat will be available. Any questions you've got, though, sling them our way. But if you sign up now and you're an active member in Patreon,

and we do this all the time, right? We encourage that if you want to come for the calendar and a chance to win and then fuck off, we actually totally get it. Cause he lives. I don't think in marketing you're supposed to say it. But it's true. It's real life. You know what I mean? And I would do the same thing.

I'm not supporting charities through the year until I can win a house. Yeah. And then when they take the opportunity to win a house away, I don't support them anymore. That sounds fucked. That's true. But. Is that your hot take? Yeah.

Certainly not. But if you want to come and then fuck off, you just have to be an active member on the 1st of November or the second, maybe we'll fucking figure that out. Now, true or false? Yeah, true. I don't know what it is. Did we originally suggest that we're going to pick you up from the airport in Tony's Audi and then go through the drive-through and you said, oh, actually, hang on.

The car wash. The car. The Audi does. doesn't go through the car wash. No. So what we'll do is... It does have the ceramic coating, but you can't be too careful.

We'll pick you up in Tony's Audi, get to Tarp Tower, jump into my car. Yeah, and then we'll do a car wash. The car wash. Yeah. I keep saying drive-throw. I must be hungry.

I am hungry. But for your chance to win, sign up now. Yep. And up next, another hot take from Tony. Yay! I'm Jody from Canberra.

My name is Devin Morgan from Greensburg, Indiana. I'm Laura from Farganer. Koda, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Hey friends, it's Nikaela from the podcast Side Hustle Pro. I'm always looking for ways to keep my kids entertained without screens. And the Yoto Mini has been a total lifesaver. My kids are obsessed. Yoto is a screen-free audio player where kids just pop in a card and listen,

hours of stories, music, podcasts, and more. And no screens or ads. With hundreds of options for ages zero to 12, it's the perfect gift they'll go back to again and again check it out at yotoplay.com y-o-t-o-p-l-a-y-l-y-com I love that in this outfit you love to sing like it's actually quite fun um welcome back I'm sure that everybody just use that break to sign up to become a fucking champion tarpa

to get a calendar and the chance to be the golden ticket tarpa. Some of the people that are hopefully in the running if they are still champion tarpas because I am going through the list very slowly. Alyssa Simpson, good on you, Alyssa. Did you see them making a second Simpsons movie?

It's coming out in 2027. Really? Yeah. Good on them. Is Alyssa making it? Yes. Elissa, I could be seeing you at Tap Tower soon. Yep, if she's still an active champion, Tapper.

And wins a golden ticket. Reto Zerbrook, good on your, Rita. Rito, could be a golden ticket winning Zeta. If you're still a champion typer. Catherine Ellingsworth, Joey R, Matt Gleason, I'm rolling through so that we don't have to keep doing that. The Big Leis. I would love if the Big Leis won the golden ticket. Me too.

Brian Leahy, Lynette Vang, Alda Osk-Valgast daughter. I really hope I've got that right, Alda. I hope she wins because I would love to make a welcome sign that said, Valgeistotter Dylan James A bit simpler on that one DoJ Thank you very much

For being part of the Patreon We absolutely love to see it Sign up now Get a calendar The calendar The calendar is like Locked and loaded Yeah

As in like You're getting the calendar Yeah There's you get that Yeah In your hot little hands And a chance to win Is such a thrill

Isn't it It really is Like whenever I buy a lot Ticket I get like a shipper Yeah Which is just like The gamblers fucking

Yeah Hotline, isn't it? Well, I always think, so someone said to me, like, because I bought a lot of tick. Sometimes if I'm like down the street on a Saturday, I go, oh, you know. Might as well. Yeah. They get you with the big sign. Yeah.

And then I, my friends said, oh. Who was the friend? You don't have any friends. Except me and I didn't say it because you're telling me for the first time. Shane will goes, what do you reckon you do if you weren't? And I went, oh, we. And then doesn't your fucking mind get going. Yeah.

And then he goes, yeah, I reckon I'd, and I go, hang on. Sorry, Brian's Wongar hat's just small enough. Still wearing the costumes for anybody that's not watching on YouTube. And Shaino starts telling me, it's, it's, it's all good. He starts telling me what he would get if he won. Oh, amazing. No. Oh.

Because he didn't buy a ticket. Oh. You don't get to have fun thinking about what you could win if you don't buy a ticket. No, I think. Because what you're paying for is the chance to dream. Yeah, but I think. You can't dream of winning the lotto if you never fucking enter. No, I think you can.

Then why am I donating money every Saturday? Yeah, but I think you still get to be like, oh, what would you do if you want a million dollars or something? That's crazy. Buy a ticket or shut the fuck up. No, I think you still get to have the fun. That's my hot take. That's a shit hot take.

I think you're allowed to still, like, dream about it. I do all the time. Whenever I see, I'm like, like, those home lotteries that we were just talking about, Oh, yeah. I literally, and I'm like, well, that's where my office would be. That's where I'd park my car. Oh, would I sell my car? Because they give you a Lexus when you win.

Did you, you know, like you fully do the big. Did you win the five block houses? That hasn't been drawn yet. Tony's in hard for that. I am in hard for that. Charles and I went on a spending spree one afternoon. It was pay day. Like Charles goes, we just got paid and I went, fuck yeah.

And we sat at this dining table and we bought like, tickets to all of them. Adrian Portelli's blockhouses. We did the martyr home. Actually, you know what? We should cut these out because the more people that buy tickets, the less chance we've got to win. Can you adjust the focus on that camera?

Because I need to just have a one-on-one with everyone really quick. Okay. All right. Pippa, we just have to act like we're not here, girl. I'm going to do a quick little business chat. Okay. A little business chat. Not strictly financial advice.

Not non-binding financial advice. Okay. so Tony just said it was payday so we both had more money to spend but what Tony doesn't realize is that if it's Charles's payday it actually means Tony has less money to spend because that's where the money came from because you own the place that Charles works at thank you for listening to my business TED talk even slightly less after I bought all those tickets as well you know they'll see you coming like they're expensive but do you get it yeah but charles are so excited about it being pay day that i was like it was like you know i was back

in my you know what's the opposite of pay buy no spend no yeah so every second Thursday is our spend day oh oh charles i thought we were friends all right i've got a hot take here and i I think that this... Oh, sorry, hang on. Sorry, Charles has to... Sorry, Charles is going to fucking go through his little wobble rabbit Warren of getting back to his desk, sorry. Are you seated for this hot take? I think, Charles, this hot take probably applies to you more than anyone.

Oh. Things that require batteries should come with batteries. You've been... I couldn't agree more. So this, I had a bit of a yarn with my mate Chelsea Manson on Patreon about this. And she said, Tony, I reckon that's got hot tape potential. And I said, Chels, I reckon you're understatement here. Not only should things that need batteries come with batteries,

things that need a specific cord should come with the specific cord. They stopped giving charging cables away with phones. Isn't that bullshit? It's so fucking annoying because all the ones that I got from phones I got 10 years ago either aren't the cable anymore or have started to break. You spent $2,000 on a fucking iPhone. The least I could do is give you a quix-fucking fucking USBC cord.

USBC? USB-c! They should give you a fucking cable. okay they do they do says Charles I do that I just got a new one and came away fine oh that's good that's good they've been listening they've been listening like oh we've got a live call yeah um start the week

when you did that that's really good okay so I've been trying to keep straight base over here but this is what's been going through my mind yeah couldn't agree more with the hot take thank you so much and I feel like if we made a reel out of this everyone will be like hard agree it'll like take off because everyone just agree Yeah, but...

But I'm worried it to ask him. And it was like, I love this tech chat podcast. Quick question, why does that bitch look like an oopula? Why is that uplupa? Buying an iPhone. Because when we were talking about the other shit, this makes sense, sense. And now we're just two legends dressed like fucking heroes.

Couldn't agree more about the iPad charger. What's with that? hair, sweetheart. Why do you have those fucking buttons on your nipples? Yeah. Do they come with charges? Yeah. Yeah.

No, great hot take. I have been scorched. I fucking just, don't you hate that? So much. Oh. The other thing that the iPhone doesn't do, though, they might give you a cord, but they don't give you the little fucking dongle anymore. To stick it in.

Yeah. I hate that. isn't it if I buy something online and I can't stick it in why am I buying something online that's what the internet was for so true

I think what these wig's got dust in it and it's making really coffee yeah and I mean if there ain't dust in these wigs where is dust this is where dust is born maybe they make them from the tops of mops

like how do you make a wig where you get a mop and cut the stick off Sometimes the stick comes with it. We both got a stick. Um, okay. Do do, do, do, do. All right, I got a you love to see it. Yep.

Um, my love to see it is from Taylor Marie. Hi, Taylor Marie. My love to see it is that I'm engaged at the same time that Dr. Tony Lodge is engaged and also Taylor Swift is engaged. Congratulations. Who would have thought that me, Tony and Taylor would all be engaged at the same time. the same time. Who would I thought? Taylor really copied me though.

Three years ago when I started listening, none of us were engaged. And I thought being engaged would be great for me, but I didn't realize it'd be so beautiful for us. That is so beautiful. 2025 truly has been a year of wins. Glad that Tony and Ryan are on my journey. That's from Taylor Marie. That is so amazing.

Taylor, we'll give us the info about you when are you getting married? Are we invited? How are we not invited? Well, we're this. Well, this is Taylor Marie. Surely you'll get invited to a Taylor's wedding. I don't know which one. I reckon.

And she's called herself Tay-Tay's. I know that this sounds crazy. But I feel like there's part of me that's like, I might go to Taylor's wedding. What's crazy for me is that I know Tony means that. I'm not saying you probably will I'm saying Tony thinks that you probably will And I actually appreciate that

Yeah Now Taylor Marie Must have been born in the 90s Middle name Marie She's written Taye in brackets Tazzy version Now Tony Lodge loves Tasmania And I reckon

Now we get invited to weddings All the fucking time This is gonna open the floodgates But I reckon If you've got a Tazey wedding That might get Tony Lodge over the line And by line, I mean the bash straight. Hilarious.

Thank you. Just some geography-based gear. Very, very funny. Or should we get the spirit? Well, so I think mid-20206 is when they're introducing the pet-friendly rooms. So you know on the spirit of Tazzi at the moment, you've got to put your dog in the kennel area. But starting, I think it's mid-20206. Can you just tie them on a rope and they'll just swim behind?

Why would you need to? If they're not allowed on the deck. No, no, no. So it's just that. There's like a dog spot You can't just have your dogs rogue Which is fine But I don't know how Tobs have got

I don't know how people would go In the kennel area That's what I mean So that's gonna say People's had enough She's fucked up She really has I am

What do you love to see I've got a love to see it here And it's inspired by you actually Something that you said to you know The day Me Ryan or me Willy Wonka You Ryan I think that Willie Wonka

Would probably give similar advice Please my friend's call me Will Isn't Will just so upsetting for Willie Wonka? Or he's a full name's William Wonka. Billy Wonka. Yeah, no, call me Bill. Oh, sorry, the hat's back on. Also, Wonka sounds like a short name that it would have been like

Wonka Trofsky or something. Oh, yeah, probably was. Wonk and Stein or something. Like, post-war, we just go by Wonka, you know. Okay, Pipa, can you just fucking get it together? Because Mum is trying to talk. Yeah, come to Willie. Oh, she's sniffing all the dust out of that outfit.

Hey, Pippa, maybe I'll leave all of this to you. You've got a golden ticket. You've got a golden ticket. Last week we heard Ryan sing to his daughter and now he's singing to mine. Yep. You're going to sit down, little monkey? You sit here, little bugger. Good girl.

Good girl, little mouse. Okay, I've got your love to see it. and it's that I drove what when I drove really yes

burks by November yeah um inspired by me inspired by you because Ryan was like did you go the Al Janna drive through yesterday no I didn't oh neither yeah I was stuck behind this silver gold

that just took ages no but my car was parked out on the street because we had someone coming into the thing. And, and Toadz was like, oh, do you, I'll move the car in. I was like, oh, let me see how I go. Maybe I'll, like, because it was across the road, but, like, just across the road. And I was like, oh, no, like, maybe I'll see if I can fucking waddle over there and whatever.

I got in the car and, like, kind of had to wiggle my body in. Yep. Because my bad is my left. So to get in, I had to, like, step on to my foot. Yeah, yeah. But I got in the car and I, as soon as I was in there, I was like, oh, it's been over two months since I drove. Yeah.

Because it was not just since I broke my foot, but we were in Vancouver for our birthday. And so it's been a really long time since I drove. And as soon as I got in the car, I was like, well, I'm not just backing this into the driveway. Yeah, so you went for a cruise. I went for a bit of a cruise. Because you said you need to get out of the house and get some air.

And I just like, oh, I did not realize. how much of a difference it would make and I fucking cranked the new Sabrina Carpenter album because I was telling Charles about how I haven't stopped listening to that and I just like open the fucking sunroof had a bit of a fucking burl around the block

Did it make you feel better? It did, it really did and I just couldn't believe how much I missed just like doing something by myself Yeah, so true because it's like actually been such a long time since I've been able to go in anywhere without like torts has driven me to all my appointments and things like that um but yeah so would

you say you are now back on the roads or is this a one-off it's tough right because i was like oh if god forbid if my car broke down or i was in an accident or something i wouldn't be able to like do any or wherever it is you were going you'd be like well now what do i do yeah and because i was literally like i go to the shops i was like no i can't yeah like i was like oh I'll pop into Woolies. Have you heard of Thrive Thrues? So Taubes goes, oh, did you go and get a frozen Coke or something? And I was like, you've just got your licence?

No, I should have, though. You should have? Yeah. And my sister said the exact same thing. She's like, oh, did you go and get a double cheeseburger? And I was like, I really missed a trickier. Yeah. Can you please go to the drive-thru wearing that?

And just straight face it. Hey, mate. Yeah, can I get a double cheeseburger? It's so funny. And a frozen cake. And a frozen cake. Thanks, Champon. And you're on the side and you go,

is it made from chocolate? And they go, oh, are you off to work? And you go, no. No, just ahead and home, actually, mate. Yeah. If you could fucking step on it though. Yeah. I get out of there.

They put me in the waiting bay and I have to get out of the car and I've got my moon boot on. Oh, yeah, Willie Wong because he doesn't have great insurance. But yeah, so my love to see it is that I... We have benefits here. Yeah, sorry. Yeah, friends with benefits. But I was really proud of myself.

So it was fun to get out of the house And to, yeah, you know, stretch the legs I'm going to say something Yeah Whether it's the outfit Whether it's the scorching hot take Yep Whether it is

The fact that we can't use is video All of those things The facts that we've announced The golden ticket And there's an energy You are glowing She's back There's an energy

She's thriving It's the green hair no she's back you reckon thriving there's an energy driving and thriving driving driving and thriving driving and thriving and sixty nine and eatin the gin and what was the other one that you said the other day yeah i don't remember wine dine and eat you john yeah wine you danya eat you yeah yeah anyway love you so much chat to you tomorrow with fucking glue me to the roof and call me an umpull-l-l-l-up. Chat to you tomorrow.

We've got some brand-new confessions. We'll chat to you then. Love you, bye! This episode is sponsored by the Hulu original series, Murdoch, Death in the Family. The new series coming to Disney Plus dives into secrets, deception, murder and the fall of a powerful dynasty. It's honestly amazing. I don't love this story, obviously, because it's horrible, but it's very good. But you love it.

The story of the Murdox Fall from Grace is a worldwide phenomenon ripped from the headlines faster than the headlines could be printed. Inspired by actual shocking events and drawing from the hit podcast, this series brings the drama to the screen like never before. Starring Academy Award winner Patricia Arquette and Jason Clark, watch the Hulu original series Murdoch, Death in the Family, streaming October 15 on Disney Plus. Hey friends, it's Nikila.

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