Toni and Ryan - The Laziest Dog Owners

Episode Date: September 11, 2022

Ryan shares a dog walking hack, and we talk about the hit film THE MUMMY. Love you! Toni xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. I'm Ryan. This is Tony and we're calling Clay, who's in Virginia. Hello? Oh my God, didn't even ring. Hi, Clay. Hello. It's Tony and Ryan. How are you doing? I'm freaking out because my phone, I don't know what the fuck it did. Oh, because the private number. Of course. Yes.

We're here to sell you insurance. Oh. Well, Clay, now that you know that it's us and we aren't trying to sell you insurance, would you approve this podcast? Of course I will. Yay! Yay! Clay!

Hi, I'm Clay. I'm from Virginia, USA and I approve this podcast. I want to start the show with an apology. Yep, you'd fucking want to. And a shout out to my good friend, Tony. Just good friend. Okay. Just good friend. Okay. Best friend status.

Close to. Oh, okay. Close. I was late this morning and I would like to apologise. You are late most mornings. No. I give a bracket. I say between 7.30 and 8.

And you go, cool, say it's 7.15. No. Check the texts. We say. The 7 15 no we say the text we say the reason i was like i need to say this we say get meet at 7 30 so that we can get going by 8 yeah yeah and the only reason that we can then get going by 8 is because i get here at 7 20 and set everything up before you get here at, you know, 7.45. Well, we originally said between 7.30 and 8, which for you means 7.30, which means 7.20. I can't control you.

I just say that's my window. No, it was getting here at 7.30 to start at 8. So this morning I was late and I apologize for that. And I was thinking about starting the show by saying, has anyone seen my wallet? I have. It was on the table just before. Yeah, I had lost it. I couldn't find it.

And I thought, oh, Tony's going to be so fucked off with me because I've lost my wallet. What's she going to think when I roll up and say I can't find my wallet? What would you have thought if I had said that? I just would have rolled my eyes and been like, who loses their wallet? Yeah. Well, I also thought you might have said,

this is why I got you the fucking tile. Oh, yeah. But you've already told me that you you the fucking tile. Oh, yeah. But you've already told me that you ditched the tile. No, the tile's back. I've ditched using the tile. So? So this morning, the reason I ditched it,

because it's not as accurate as you'd expect. Okay. So I pressed it, the button, and it's like, it's beeping. But it turned out that while it was in a jacket that was folded up, so it's like very muffled and you can barely hear it. But you know that thing that does your head in and you can kind of hear it, but you're still like, is it that direction? Is it that direction? It's so small.

I can hear it sort of. And so I walked out to the front with my phone. I'm like, maybe I dropped it getting out of the car. And so I'm holding my phone up and I'm like looking for it. Yeah. And one of the tradies from next door goes, are you looking for a Pokemon? And I was like, no, I'm just looking for my wallet.

It's got a tile in it. And he goes, oh. That's fucking embarrassing. And then I went back inside and found it in the jacket. And that's why I was late this morning. Why don't you develop like a system for when you get home from like work or when you walk in the door, you like put your wallet and keys somewhere. Usually there's a few regular spots.

Yeah. And it just wasn't in there. Yeah. Because it was in my pocket in the jacket, hence why. Why do you even need your wallet? Because I bought Bridget a coffee and a bagel yesterday. No, today. Because I bought myself a coffee and you a coffee about five minutes ago. But I would have bought you a coffee.

I wouldn't want to deal with the fallout. What do you mean? I buy you a coffee all the time. Yeah, but if I said, can you pay? I forgot my wallet. Do you remember the very first time we became friends? And it was because when we were working together at the radio station, you came out and you said, hey, mate, could I ask a favour? Was I sheepish? Yeah. And I was like, yeah, mate, what do you need? Because I thought that you would have needed like something work related

because we weren't really friends. Oh. And that's okay. Like, you know, acquaintances, like we are now. Sure. Pre-lovers. Yeah, we hadn't kissed yet. And you were like, oh, I forgot my wallet,

but I need to go and buy lunch. Is that all good? And I was like, bro, of course. And I gave you my card. Do you remember that? Oh, yeah. Yeah. And then you were like, oh, that's how I knew that you liked me

because you trusted me. Yeah. And then I paid you back a year later. I don't think. No, because you kept bringing it up. I did not keep bringing it up. Yeah, and I was like, fuck you. I don't bring up money and you know that. It's like an honour system.

Yeah, but I do remember paying you back a year later because you told this story. And I was like, did I ever pay you back? It's a nice story though. This lunch, this coffee this morning, that makes up for that. Yeah, great. Oh, well, I'm so glad. Thank you so much. Thanks for the nut milk.

I know it's extra. You're welcome. So I'm sorry that I Thank you so much. Thanks for the nut milk. I know it's extra. You're welcome. So I'm sorry that I'm late. You know what? That's okay. I'm just glad you're here safe, mate. That's all I care about. Welcome to the week.

Haven't I grown as a person? You have grown as a person. Thanks. I could have fucking gotten in. When you got in, I could have been really fucking angry. But I wasn't. I was all good. Would you say you were the same level as welcoming?

No. Or was there a little? No, I just said, hey. And also because you were like, I'll tell you the story on the pod, so I couldn't even be like, is everything okay? You know? Yeah. That makes it hard in our relationship.

And it's a good trick too. See, I just tell that shit story, which got me out of copping a mouthful earlier. And it was worth it because that was hilarious. Coming up later, we're going to be talking about the movie The Mummy. Oh, that's why I'm late because that movie went for 15 years. Fucking hell. They go back to the same place three times.

I'm like, you're going back again? Make it a sequel, mate. They did. No, but they could have gotten six movies out of the first one. Yeah. Fucking hell. I've got a lot to say. Okay.

Yeah. Not that my reason wasn't the truth, but I should have opened with the mummy because hashtag relatable. We both had to sit through that yesterday it seems. Yeah. That's all right. Last week, though, we were talking about throwing money at a problem. Tony, after being told she may have to wait an extra 15 minutes

in the glasses store, consider getting laser eye surgery. Yeah. Would people like an update on that story, by the way? Yes. So they were like, obviously I sat there for two hours and they were like, we can't do this thing that you want. So I was like, I'm just going to get fucking laser eye surgery. They've done it.

They've done what? They made the glasses. Oh. Yeah. Wow. Jokes on laser eye clinics. They just lost a customer. See you later, 10 grand, keeping that for myself.

And that's the, you're not going to, because you attempted last week. Well, now I've spent all this money on the glasses. I'm like, not going to go and get laser eye surgery. Maybe in a year when the glasses prescription expires. A lot of TARPers messaged and went, oh, like all jokes aside, it changed my life. Yeah. Lots of people were very supportive, but I'll save them money for

next year. Good, mate. Good. Another TARPer ordered Uber Eats delivery from a place 80 metres away. Oh, we've all done it. We've all done it. If you say you haven't, mate. Good. Another tarpa ordered Uber Eats delivery from a place 80 metres away. Oh, we've all done it. Respect to that. We've all done it. If you say you haven't, you're lying. Yeah, you're lying. And another tarpa purchased a movie on Amazon Prime because they didn't want to walk into the next room and get the DVD from the

cupboard. I told that story last week. Yeah, so, ma'am, I respect this. Okay. I'm doing a recap. Oh, right. I thought maybe you were reading a comment that I'd read last week because you didn't listen to me. Well, I knew about the eye laser surgery. That was a clue that it was a recap. Are we fighting today? I don't want to fuck you off.

Is this because I'm late? Are you picking me apart? All right. Alicia. Alicia. Hi, Alicia. Alicia does not like gold. Are you a gold?

I feel like you're a gold person or you're not a gold person, you know? Because I'm not a gold person and neither is Bridget. We're not like gold people. Yeah. I don't wear any jewellery. Like I literally don't wear any jewellery. But all of the stuff that I do have is gold. I think it suits me more than silver does.

But is that right that some people just feel it's right or it doesn't? Yeah, and because you can't wear both at the same time. Oh, God. What a faux pas. Rose gold's really having a moment over the last, like, what, five years? That's a big thing. Okay. So Alicia doesn't do gold.

Okay. And she also doesn't like sunroofs. Just on the record and say I don't like sunroofs. Alicia, sorry, do you hate fun? She must hate fun. I'm guessing, like me, a pale skin. Keep the sun off me. When we borrowed your mum's car

and drove to Sydney, that had a sunroof and it was really lovely. Alicia, I was buying my first car. The sales guy brought me in and it was gold. And all I thought was I've always associated gold with being grown up yellow.

I totally agree. Really? Yeah. gold's for grown-ups yeah but it's still yellow in her mind but just an older person's yellow and she didn't like it um but i always wanted a bright colored car and they said here's the gold one and she's like no i don't do grown-up yellow a gold car does seem a bit drab doesn't't it? It's a choice. Yeah. You've made a decision. Yeah. Like a silver car doesn't feel so crazy. No.

Yeah. But a gold car? The only cars I've ever had are white. Really? Yeah. Oh, see, I'm a dark car gal. So Alicia asks, is there any other model of car that's not the gold one? Just any other one. And they go, yeah, we've got this blue one, but it's the model up.

You know, it's like a bit fancier. And it's $5,000 more and it's got a sunroof. Or you could wait two weeks and just get the blue one for the same price. What do you think Alicia did? She bought the blue one with the sunroof for an extra $5,000. I didn't want to wait another week. Yeah, fair enough. I wouldn't have either.

I would have gone to a different car. No, I wouldn't have. I'm too lazy for that as well. I left that day with a blue car, a sunroof I will never use and double-checked that it had a cover that I could pull across to block out all the light, and $5,000 more debt to my name. Alicia, I respect it, to be quite honest. I would have done the exact same thing. Drive that car, girl.

Except I would have been happy about the sunroof, I think. I think that's quite cool. I wonder why she doesn't like them. Maybe she's had a bad experience in the past. Maybe. What's the Twilight? Is he a dragon? Not a dragon.

Vampire. Yeah. They don't like sun, right? A dragon? No. A dragon? I just knew it. They don't like sun, right? A dragon? No. A dragon? I just knew it was a thing that isn't real. Including your relationship with Robert Pattinson on MySpace.

That's incredibly rude and it was on MSN. Joe Woodward. And now this has hit me a bit hard because I looked at this and thought this is pathetic and then I realised I do this all the time. Okay. My husband takes our dog for a run. Yeah. By driving the ute around the paddock.

So he just drives around the paddock instead of walking him. Petrol is a million dollars a gallon. He's running up miles on the truck, but he sort of gives himself this pat on the back accomplishment because he thinks that he's taken the dog for a walk or a run. Oh, I guess I'll take the dog for a run. And then just gets in the car. He's also just like putting his Fitbit or his Apple Watch on the dog.

He's like, look how many steps I did today. I'm killing the steps. I've done seven hours of exercise today. My husband is so lazy. What a waste of money, says Jo. Now, I've... You've done the inner city version of this. I've actually done both the inner city and rural versions.

And I want to know if this makes me a bad person. So every night I take BJ for a walk and sometimes it's a bit late. I'm a bit tired. You're feeling a bit worse for wear. Yeah, but I'm like, oh, like he needs to do his business or whatever. Otherwise he'll scratch around the house all night. Yeah, he needs to get a run. So I've been using the e-scooter to whip around the park

because there's like a walking path that goes around it. So I'll just do a few laps. BJ can knock out 3.5 kilometres in like 15. And so he's knackered, he's puffing. And I'm just like standing on a scooter. And then Bridget goes, oh, thanks so much for taking him for a walk. And I go, oh, man, I contribute to this house. And you go, mate, don't even stress.

Don't worry about it. Look, I'm good for it, mate. I would love to do it. We've got our certain jobs. I do the vacuuming. Do you? I do the dog walking. I do the dishes each night.

Do you? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Every night? No, not every night do the vacuuming. I do the dog walking. I do the dishes each night. Do you? Yeah. Okay. Every night? No, not every night with the vacuum. Vacuuming is my role. Do the dishes every night. Take BJ for a walk. Am I cheating the system? I mean, as a lazy person, the dog gets walked. What's the job that needs doing? Dog walking. Is it being done? Yes.

The only thing that I would say is that maybe if you were also paying for a gym membership, then maybe you could just get all of your exercise. That's very fucking aggressive. No, I'm just saying for example. I'm just like, this is just me. I don't know about

you. I don't know about Joe's husband. You know a lot about me. You know a lot. I'm just saying that if you were going to take the dog for a run and also pay for a gym membership and not go, then maybe like you could knock out the two birds with one stone by taking BJ for a run for free. So are you saying spending, because I don't often use my e-scooter.

I use one that's in the park. What? Because they're there. Why don't you just use your e-scooter. I use one that's in the park. What? Because they're there. Why don't you just use your e-scooter? Because I walk him on the lead to the park and then that might be tricky on the e-scooter. Or maybe I could do it and he could like pull me. That would be like a dog sled. Anyway, I've been using the pay once.

Like a dog sled? And so I'm spending $4 on him. I'm spending like $20 a week at the gym. Yeah. Why don't you just? Cancel both those prices and walk the thing. Yeah. I'm spending like 20 bucks a week at the gym. Yeah. Why don't you just. Cancel both those prices and walk the thing. Yeah. I'm hearing you. I mean, mate, but I'm lazy too. I'd do the same. I'm just devil's avocado, you know? So BJ needs one walk or run a day. Yeah. And then you've seen

him once he's had a run, he'll just curl up on the couch. He's pretty cruisy. Yeah. He's chill. So we were like dog sitting on a winery slash farm for a week and they had a couple of dogs. Yeah. And was your dog there as well? Yeah, so they're like, oh, come stay at our house for the week. Bring BJ. You can stay here.

Look after our dogs. Look after their dogs. Oh, sorry. I've just hit my hand on the thing. You okay, mate? Oh, my God. My life flashed before my eyes. So in the morning I'd take them out for a big run

and because it's a big paddock farms, I did get the truck and do a few laps of the block and the dogs just chase and sprint and they have a wild time. That's fun. That is fun. And so they said if you can do that every morning and night, that would be unreal. So I did it every morning and then I go get in the car in the afternoon

and BJ's had his run for the day. Yeah. BJ, the dog, jumped in the car for the afternoon runs. So I would be in the driver's seat, he would be in the passenger seat, and we would drive laps of the farm watching the other two dogs run in their own bag. As soon as I opened the car door, he's like, nah, I'm fucking in there, son. I'm only a country dog in the morning, not twice a day.

And I told Bridget this later and she's like, what? Because he comes in from his run, like has a big drink of water, pants for a little bit. Yeah, curls up. Two runs a day. Big day for me. And I'm like, mate, I know you're in the car. He's like, they won't know.

It's Clay from Virginia, US. You're listening to Tony Ryan. Oh, a massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. That is Tony and Ryan Podcast listeners. A few in particular that I'd love to say a big thank you to. Bucky Bayless. Thank you, Zach Tyler. Yeah, Bucky Bayless.

I got called Bucky when I was little because I have buck teeth. That's fucking nasty. I didn't realise at the time. I got home and was like, oh, everyone's calling me Bucky. It's cool. I got called Bucky when I was little because I have buck teeth. That's fucking nasty. I didn't realise at the time. I got home and was like, oh, everyone's calling me Bucky. It's cool I got a nickname. Mum's like, I don't know if that's nice. Oh, you thought it was cool that you had a nickname? Yeah.

To be honest, I think that most people would be just happy to be included. But a nasty nickname's not nice. No, but I think that's, I was just enjoying being included. Aw. Well, when I was a kid, because The Simpsons was popular, everyone used to call me Fat Tony, the mafia guy, but also because I'm chubby and my name is Tony. I mean, I could.

Yeah. Figure it out. Yeah. Don't you mean you couldn't figure it out? No. Because you're like, where'd they get the fat from? I'm fucking glad you explained that. Yeah, thanks. Josh Forgia.

I often send a picture of Fat Tony when someone's got an issue. Like my friend's got a bit of a council issue at the moment and so I just send a photo of Fat Tony and I always say, do you want me to send my friend around? It always gets a lol. You should send a picture of me next time. I know. I'm not going to say it.

I'm not going to say it. All right. Joshua Forgia, thank you so much. That Tony will sort them out. From the Simpsons. Don't fucking look at me like that. Don't say that about me. Don't fucking.

COVID. It's been a long couple of years. Don't lob up a fucking punchline and get mad because I'm on sleep. I'm never playing alley-oop basketball with you. It's been a long couple of years, mate. It's from the Simpsons. It's been a long couple of years. mate. It's from The Simpsons. Been a long couple of years. You're telling me, mate.

I don't have a dog to walk. I do, but I don't. I get a scooter. Scooter. Joshua Forgeat, thank you so much. Jade Tate, Kate Gillespie, Rihanna Georgie. Ooh, hello. Kylie Harris, Liz Gallagher, Sammy, Nat Rose, Daniel Ornishorge,

Tiani Kloon and Jacob. Thanks, Jacob. Thanks, Jake. Yeah. The big J. Big J. Smoke a Jaws, have a J. So reluctantly, post-watching, we watched The Mummy.

I'd never seen it. So we decided to watch Brendan Fraser movies this week because he obviously just got his standing ovation after a fucking rough decade. Rough decade. So you said the other day that he spoke out about sexual assault that he experienced from the head of the Hollywood Foreign Press. Is that correct?

Some big dog. Yeah. Some industry dude. And so then after that he kind of got blacklisted a bit. But also his mum passed away, he got divorced. Yeah. Like, just fucking rough. Anyway, he's back.

He's back. BF's back. So we thought we'd watch a Brendan Fraser classic. Just side note. Yeah. Did we talk about a film festival's getting a bit carried away with the how many minutes the standing ovation is? I mean, I just.

Do you think of anything more awkward than a six-minute standing ovation? Like after 40 seconds you'd be like, yep. You think about the 30 seconds that people are singing you happy birthday. The worst 30 seconds of your year. Exactly. Six minutes of people just looking you in the eye. And you just stand there for six minutes? I just, I can't, I don't know.

Surely you'd want to sit back down. I could listen to three Young Gravy songs in that time. Exactly, mate can't, I don't know. Surely you'd want to sit back down. I could listen to three Young Gravy songs in that time. Exactly, mate. I could start learning a language. Yeah. You've said that a lot. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. It's supposed to be funny, but it just never lands. No, well, I just, I would love to see you learn a language. That's all. I also think that they're getting a bit competitive where they're like, well, they got a six minute standing ovation. I also think that they're getting a bit competitive where they're like, well, they got a six-minute standing ovation,

so can everyone make sure they stand for seven because it's. But, like, a standing ovation is a standing ovation. Yeah. Like, I understand that it's this prestigious thing that can happen, whatever, but I'm like. Just give me a fist bump and we'll move on. Yeah. I think that people standing up and clapping for a normal, regular, ordinate amount of time is just as lovely

as it going for a long time. Also, though, the same film festival is all that, like, don't worry, darling fucking drama. Jesus Christ. Oh, my. I don't even know what happened and I don't even know. I don't want to know but I'm living for it. I can't.

It's, like, too deep now. Yeah. Like, I can't go back and figure it out. I'm sure that Shameless have done an episode about it. Yeah, we'll go check it out. We'll go back and listen to that. We'll go have that. So we were choosing between Dudley Do-Right, which got 1% of votes,

but Dazzled, which only got 4% of votes, which I really wanted to watch. That's a real shame. It must be a cult classic because a few people were also shattered that that's what got picked. It's such a good movie. Encino Man, George of the Jungle. George of the Jungle was very close with 43% and The Mummy was 45%. I reckon that's the closest vote we've ever had.

Usually there's a runaway winner. Normally there's one that gets 70% and the rest of them all get kind of the rest equally. I feel like The Mummy is Brendan Fraser's OG though. Is it? I would have thought that the OG would be George of the Jungle. Yeah, right. So what did you think of The Mummy is Brendan Fraser's OG though. Is it? I would have thought that the OG would be Georgia the Jungle. Yeah, right. So what did you think of The Mummy? Oh.

Did you know what I mean now when I'm like it's not a comedy but it kind of like sometimes wants to be? It's like light. Yeah. It's not like a heavy film. It's scary though. There are some spooky bits. I saw it in the cinema when I was young.

Oh, I would have shit myself Oh the bugs but also like at the beginning When the chick goes into the tomb And her brother like Pops up with that skeleton That spooked me I could not tell you what happened in the movie I'm so sorry I know that there's going to be so many people listening That did exactly what you did Ryan I could not tell you what happened in the movie. I'm so sorry.

I know that there's going to be so many people listening that did exactly what you did, Ryan, and went and watched it at the CINAHL when they were a kid and it was like probably the first spooky movie their mum ever let them watch and shit like that. I fucking take it or leave it, probably leave it. I could not. And Torb's right. So I watched this yesterday during the day the day, because it's work. You don't need to convince me.

You don't need to convince me. Just letting you know so that it doesn't sound like I was just watching a movie at 3pm yesterday. And Torb's, he was working. So he was like working from home. And he kept popping his head out. And he's like, oh, are you at this bit? And I was like, bro, I couldn't tell you. I don't know.

I've got no fucking idea. And then he walks out at one point. He's like, did that bit scare you? And I was like, can you I couldn't tell you. I don't know. I've got no fucking idea. And then he walks out at one point and he's like, did that bit scare you? And I was like, can you fucking either watch it or leave me alone? That would annoy me as well. Are you in or are you out? Yeah, and I was like, you're welcome to come out and watch it. Like bring your laptop, like keep working or whatever if you want to.

Not that he does that a lot. You'd like him to, it sounds like. But if he wanted to. I was just like, well, if you want to watch it, just come out here. Or are you just saving him because he does that pretty regularly? No, I would love that. Shout out to Torbz's employer. He's working real fucking hard.

No, he's not. Does it annoy you that I'm also that person? When Bridgewatch is a movie, I'll be kind of like working on the computer and I'll just like put my head around and go, oh, what's he from? No, I actually really. Oh, is she the boyfriend? I actually like it because it makes me feel like we're half doing something together.

Okay, good. That's what I'll use that line. Yeah. The bridge goes, just fucking, are you watching on? I go, hey, you should just appreciate that we're doing something together. Yeah, I do. I get what she means, though. Yeah, that is annoying because it's like just watch it or don't.

But, yeah. So I don't actually. I don't actually know what happened. I don't know if they get to Cucamonga. don't actually know what happened. I don't know if they get to Kookamonga. I don't know what happened. Brendan Fraser, what's his character's name? I actually don't know. And I'm really good with the – I'm normally very good with names.

The girl, what's her name? Emily. No. I fucking tried to confidently back that in. The girl, what's her name? Emily. No? I fucking tried to confidently back that in. But obviously the brother's name is Cal. Is it? No. Is it Cal?

I'm going to be real with you. I don't fucking know any of their names either. Oh, and it's your favourite movie. It's not my favourite movie. You said before you like this movie means a lot to me. It's my favourite. Roll the tape. Tell me when that happens.

Yeah, timestamp that one. Does that make it easier or harder to write a rap when you don't know anything about the movie? Rap's pretty vague. I'll be honest. The Rap's pretty vague. I'll be honest. The rap's pretty vague. You could probably chalk this up to, you know, any like Indiana Jones film would probably work for this.

Okay. Any. You know, you can just like pick a specific part about it. Yeah. Have we made a joke about the fact that you might do a rap about the opening scene and that's it, and then we all realise that you... I definitely have. Sorry, I've just...

Oh, I've lost my headphones. I have... Yeah. According to IMDB, it's pretty good. I just talk about the actor the whole time. So that was one of my options. I was like, okay, maybe because the theme was about Brendan Fraser, maybe I can get away with just doing a rap about him.

Also not that much. No. Really? No. Can I offer some behind-the-scenes chat and put it into the public sphere? Yep. There was some chat last week around The Office. Tony goes, hey, Ryan, like you didn't watch one of the movies a few weeks ago.

So like I'm kind of owed and not watching it. Yeah. But you're not pulling that out now? Not pulling that out. But you're keeping that card in your pocket. I am keeping it up my sleeve, yes, because I think it's going to get you. Card in your pocket, up your sleeve is what. Yep, yep.

It's cowboy land. No, so I'm going to keep that up my sleeve for a movie that I really don't want to fucking watch. Okay. Like a really long one. And I'll make you write a rap about that. Great. Yeah.

But would you like to hear the very vague rap? No, I'm ready. I've never been more ready. About the mummy. Ladies and gentlemen, T's Swizzle Lodge. Here we go. Yee-hoo. T-Lodge, the mummy.

Yeah. Here we go. Movies for Fraser, comma, Brendan. On his word, they are dependent. Trying to get to Hermanatra. You know, what treasures does it hold? Is it silver or gold? Trying to get there with a burnt up map.

If I had to do that, I'd be in a flap. They get to the underground site, but what is waiting for them is a fright. Mate, don't say you're so sure. That was one of your best. Do you reckon? Absolutely. Do you reckon? Yeah. I did use it as soon as the movie started, right? I you're so sure. That was one of your best. Do you reckon? Absolutely. Do you reckon? Yeah.

I did use it. As soon as the movie started, I'm like, fuck. Start writing some keywords down. Exactly right. I wrote down Herman Archer about three minutes in, and I was like, cool, that's going to get me going. That's fine. Rhymezone.com.

What rhymes with Herman Archer? Not a lot. Frank Sinatra. What kind of dip is that? Oh, it's a tarama salata. I can make that work with the right accent. When you hit a drum, it goes. What do you want for lunch?

A frittata? You know that Mexican lemonade, horchata? How many? Oh, should we go to a birthday party? And hit a pinata. Do you know how many cars I own? How many? Zip, zero, nada.

You know that new radio station in Sydney? Carter? I think it's Kata. Fuck! Oh, yeah, Carter, yeah. Oh, I want candy. I love Aaron Carter. When you're a security guard, what do you do if someone looks underage?

Kill them. No, you're Carter. Oh. Carter, I hardly know her. Oh, I need to do a bit of a wee. I think I've got a full bladder. I thought you were going to say you need a wee out of your vagina. Shit movie though, eh?

Oh, yeah. But, I mean, we made that good, didn't we? I'm glad we watched it now. I'm just, I know that people are going to be like, but it's so good. But, you know. If it went for an hour and a half, what would I have done? Two hours it went for. Bridget went and hung out with some friends in the park.

Who? Oh, she's got friends that aren't you. She hung out with Beth and Rach and their babies, Billy and Poppy. Yep, and they all hung out. And then Bridget got home and she's like, is this movie still going? Fucking hell. I've got to love to see it here.

Madeline. Madeline. Madeline. She's Madeline. She's Madeline. We hope you get it straight. I'm Madeline. I'm Madeline.

But inside, I'm great. I'm. I'm Madeline, I'm Madeline, but inside I'm great. I'm blind, says Madeline. And over the weekend, I ran my first half marathon. What the fuck? Incredible. Mate, you're walking your dog on a scooter and Madeline's fucking run a marathon. Half marathon blind. I might have been the last to finish, but I finished strong thanks to my amazing running guides.

Whoa. Now, Tony, when you hear this story, what do you say? What do you think? Holy shit. What's the segment called? You'll have to see it. You'll have to hear about that story, Madeline. You'll fucking love to hear about it.

It rolls off the tongue, doesn't it? That's fucking amazing. It is incredible. And also, Madeline, fuck you for selling yourself short. Oh, even though I came last, sweetheart, you're lapping everyone on the couch, including me. Yeah, that's so true. Like, I just fuck nothing.

It doesn't matter if you come last or first, in my fucking opinion. You have, that is such a life goal. That's something you'll remember forever. You'll always be like, remember when I fucking ran a half marathon? It's so insane. Should I do that? I can't. If Madeline can do it, why can't you?

It sounds like she'd be quite fit to run a half marathon. We'd train for it. We wouldn't just turn up on the day. Do you reckon we could train for a half marathon? Remember when we did the treadmill thing? Oh, that was fucking horrible. Yeah, so remember that before you make any... Yeah, okay.

Let's talk about it later. But I agree with you. No one goes, oh, but they were the slowest gold medalist. Yeah. You know? You've run a half marathon. That puts you in the.001% of athletes in this world. A hundred percent.

Sorry, 00.1%. Well, you'll have to hear it. Madeline, that is fucked. I'm so proud of you. You'll have to hear about it. You do love to hear about that. I've got another you'll have to hear about it. A couple of weeks ago, we mentioned in a You Love To See It

that a tarpa was in the Hawks mascot at the AFLW games. And Ree, over the weekend, commented and posted a photo. I know you saw this, but it's so fucking cool. You love to see it. Tarpas in the wild. My wife, Cassie,

our three boys and I, rounded up the tarpa hawkette at the women's AFL this weekend and I had to go over there and be like, are you a tarpa? Do you know what we're saying? And they're like, yeah, and they got a photo together. Do you want to go to a game with me? I'd love to go. Yeah, to AFLW.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. Support the girls and we'll see the tarpa. Do you reckon it might get awkward if more people are getting selfies with the hawkette because they'repa's and they're football fans? No, but just like, oh, are you a big Hawthorne fan? They're like, nah, just listen to the podcast. Yeah, I'm a fan of this really shit podcast. Yeah, we should definitely go and support the fucking AFLW, of course.

But yeah, meet the Tarpa Hawket. But I just felt like that story deserved to go on the pod because it is a great story. And I love that people are going, like they went there and got the photo with her because they were like, oh, she listens to the pod. So fuck, you love to see that. That's so lovely.

Tomorrow on the show, things you can say playing tennis. Quiet, please. And also in the bedroom. That's one of mine. Pretend you didn't hear it when I say it to you tomorrow. Okay, let's do a practice one. Okay. Things you can say playing tennis and also in the bedroom.

You know, and they grunt. I thought you were going to say quiet, please. Oh, sorry. Because I'd already done that one. I was like, I don't want to do that again. Well, that's how that's practiced, about me reacting like I hadn't heard it before. Oh, okay. Go again. Here's things you can say playing tennis and also in the bedroom.

Quiet. You fucking... How did she come up with it? But thanks for doing the grunting noises. Let's chat to you tomorrow. Love you, bye.