Toni and Ryan - The Most Hilarious Doctors Note

Episode Date: October 26, 2025

[VIDEO FOR THIS EP AVAILABLE ON YOUTUBE] We're back in studio bitches - Dr Lodge & Dr Dunn - HOT TAKE TONI - love ya!!!!!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You know how sometimes you're at a specialist and they go, did you want us to send this to your GP? Yeah. My general prick. As well. General. General. General.

Sergeant? Oh, the telescopes like that's so much funnier. I'm Amanda from Hong Kong. I'm Stacey from Burke, New South Wales. I'm Tanner Wilson from Crawford'sville, Indiana, USA. And I approve this podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. I am Ryan. This is Tony Lodge. Hello.

And for the first time in 82 days, we are back at Tarp Tower in our studio. Doesn't it feel good? It's so nice to be back in the office. Yeah. We've been in Vancouver. We've been in L.A. we've been Please don't talk about LA We've been to Tony's house We've been to the urgent medical care centre We've been to Tony's house

Then we went to Tony's house And then spent a little bit of time At Tony's house One of us broke a foot Yeah We actually had to stop going to my house Because I guess it's pretty hard To sell a fridge in this economy

So none of us can get past the front door Because it's still fucking there Is it? I've been ghosted by about 18 people On fucking Facebook marketplace It's still fucking I'm not even joking it's still there and every day that I like I'm just like looking at it and it's just making me

angrier and angrier like can we talk about it we can talk about the fridge now but talk about what up we were talking about just before we started what how the other day you were like don't mention the fridge and I kept mentioning it well because I was like oh can you just like leave it until like I bring it up and then and then I feel like we had a moment as friends I was like I'm sorry I fucked that up and then we did great and now we're talking about the fridge games well again when you said hang on you told me not to talk about it why can you talk about it it's my fridge. Yeah,

actually, fair. It's your fridge. It's your fridge. So just like this conversation, the fridge is still there. What will last longer? I'm hoping that the fridge is there longer than our friendship.

I mean, I'm hoping that our French. Oh my God. No one come and get that fridge. Leave it there for the next 30 years. I never want to get a job again. Runts. I've got a mortgage.

Yeah, fuck me. What were you saying before about ASOP soap in your outdoor shower? I mean, You've got to keep your job if you're going to, like, keep rolling that. I've got a fridge in my doorway, but, oh, you've put your A-Sop soap in your outdoor shower. I do have. And I love it for you.

It's, you know how it's got warm suddenly? It's been weird, but it's got, there's been a few warm days. It's like hot and rainy. Yeah, but not. Oh, summer's here. The next day, it's like, soak. Literally. So, I'll have you know that me and my daughter love going for a swim, then jumping in the shower to, like, wash all the chlorineies off.

And then, you know how Mabel is going to be a dirties off? dermatologist. Have I told you about this? Yeah. So now she gets the ESOP soap and she'll like rubber on real slow and we're in the outdoor shower. She's like, Dad, could put the cream on. That's so cute. Doesn't know the difference between moisturiser and soap yet. And I've had a few days where I've woken up burning because I've been moisturized with soap. Well, you know, like when you're at like, sometimes you go to a fancy place. Yeah. And they've got soap and hand cream next to each other. Tell me which one's which. But you pump cream onto your hand. And isn't that the first time you said You pump cream on to your hands

and you got it under the water and it goes that like slimy it's so disgusting and it's always in an airport why it's always in an airport Hey, love it label them I just don't ever really want hand cream

Oh so you don't want to wash and then put a cream on? No, no because I think to be honest agree because slippery hands but I do appreciate the effort and the like I like that you think I'd want this I like the effort

Oh yeah no totally Totally. It's so fancy, but like, who is this for? Because you can't drive after that. No, oh my God, your hands will slip off the steering wheel. You drive off the Golden Gate Bridge. Imagine if you... If that's where you are located.

Imagine if the pilot did it. Oh, my God. Do you reckon that they... He'll end in San Francisco. I'm trying to fly to Brisbane. They rub the pilot's hands really hard with like a dry towel before they let them on. Yeah, but the only soap they should use is, do you ever have solvolt or solvent? What's that really rough, like a working man?

Sorbelene. No. It's like a rough. Oh, the yellow one? No. It's like, it's like gray. It's like gray and rough. It's like gray and rough.

Yeah. Yes. Yeah, my dad used that because he's a mechanic. I was going to say, yeah, it sounds like you. So oil on your hands and stuff. We've never used it. Never worked a hard day in my life. Look at these.

Look at these beautiful. Solvel. Solvel. Solville. Solville. Solville. So, well. Thank you, Charles.

Um, so for anybody that's noticing, maybe if you're, watching on YouTube, the set is looking very different. It's looking really good. We're very happy with it. And maybe if we cut to a wide shot, you might notice something else that's a bit different, is that this slut has two shoes on. No moon boot, ladies and gentlemen. She broke her foot.

She had surgery and now she's out of the moon boot. Now, what did the, like, let's go back to the first time you met the doctor. Yeah. What was his predictions for getting rid of the moon boot? So we went back and forward, did all this stuff. But he said, I would love to have you in. some really supportive shoes, hence the hawkers at this point. And then he said, I reckon we'll have you in Birx by November.

And I've had my trouble with members of the medical authority in the past, as we know, with my troubles with medical comedy. I always try a joke on a doctor, always goes flat. But this guy, Dr. Taylor, he's a fucking legend. And he's such a good guy. Okay. But as a doctor myself, I feel like we had a bit of a rapport. And I've got a letter from him

That we need to read out But because we're a couple of medical professionals I'm going to need you to don your medical equipment Oh my God I've got a prop All my dreams have come true I know here you go So here's

This iPad can wait Dr Dunn Your stethoscope Imagine If um Geez it's tight Yeah so it's um a kids play one from office work I was going to say, squeezing my brain out.

Imagine if, you know how in radio and podcast land, you often wear headphones. Yeah. Imagine if, like, our on set headphones were just like a stethoscope. That's so fucking funny. And I'll put this here so I can hear myself. Okay. So I'm distracted by the dress-ups. Yes, I'm Dr. Tony Lodge.

I just have a letter here for Dr. Dunn to read out if that would be appropriate. Thank you. On the official, I thought I'm going to have to take these out. Yeah, that's fair. Yep. I feel like you never see him wear them. Anyway, they just have them around their neck. It's always around their neck, which I think is such a boss move.

Oh, the official letterhead's got me fucking juiced up. This is genuinely a letter from the doctor. I'm not even joking. I caught up with Tony and her partner today six weeks following her left T-H-M-T-WA fixation, or as they know on the biz. Left metatarsal fixture. Didn't you have dancer's toe or something? So I had a dancer's fracture.

There you go. Yeah. She's doing really well and has been diligently looking after. her wound and wearing her moon boot. Yes, I fucking have. I had a long discussion with Tony about where to from here. She can start weight bearing without the moon boot and can start progressively doing this with bare feet around the house and supportive shoes went out and about.

Hence the hawkers. And then transitioning into any shoe. Final line from Dr. Taylor. She is well on her way to being in Burk. stock in stocks by November. Genuinely, an official medical letter from tailored orthopedic group. From Dr. Taylor himself. Can I just say to Dr. Taylor?

Yeah. Taylored orthopedic group is a cracking name. Isn't that good? Yeah. He knows what he's done there. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Now, I actually have to confess something to you.

Yeah. I've actually read this before. What do you mean? Dr Taylor sent me a coffee Because he said as a fellow doctor I have a role to play Because you know He said Dr Dunn needs this

No but you know Sometimes you're at a specialist And they go Did you want us to send this to your GP? Yeah And he did Yes And of course

And he said Ryan A general prick As well General Puss Destroyer Sorry General Puss Destroyer Sergeant Oh the Temoscope

That's so much That's funny. General Pust Destroyer. Is it a GP? No, is it a GPD? I'm so sorry. I'm rimming a cold at the moment.

So I'm doing the laugh cough. Anyway. So you know how they say, would you like it to send this to your general push destroy? Yeah. And I said, and they said, um,

ma'am, what is the details of your general pus destroyer? Is it still, um, RJ Dunn at general Pust Destroyer.com? And you went, Is it still big dick done at Hot Mout Hocom? I said, yeah, it is.

So he forwarded this on to me as a fellow medical practitioner because you've got a role to play. Yes. You're doing the exercises and you're doing the walking. I've been doing so well, yeah. He's got a role to play. Absolutely. Because he's like the surgeon in charge. He did the surgery.

What role do I have to play? Well, you're my general pus destroyer. What's the other role? Thanks for saluting me every time you say that, by the way. The people listening, Tonyich cannot say that without saluting and I love it. It's like when we, what was the, like, General DataBitch? General Dada pitch!

Guess what? What? That would have been awesome. We've got some new draws in the set. We've got some new draws in the set. I thought if I pushed it in, it would pop open. Yeah. I actually love it.

I've got so much stuff in the other. Oh, one of yours work. So you don't want any vental and I've got some Oh, it worked, hang on, let's go again Okay And you know what role I have to play? What is that, General Pust Destroyer? Like, comically not working?

It's because, and I've been told this before, you need more than one finger. Watch this, one finger? Some are easier than others. It opened for this. Oh, my God. What was in the drawer, Tony Lodge? Birkenstone.

Well, a box. I don't know if there's actually Berks here there. No, I have the Arizona. Oh my God. The Arizona Birkenstock for one Tony Lodge. Because I want you wanted to go and you wanted that buckle and that color. Oh my God. And this is in your size.

So I know. I didn't do the buckles up beforehand. That's interesting. That's an interesting choice. Well, can I tell you something? um got myself some have to return mine because the size isn't right oh so even though we're burke's by november where if they don't fit returned by november three oh my god so true so that's why we're doing it today early because if they don't fit well it's not burke's at

november it's burke's by november should i try these now sure do you want to do you wouldn't dare take those hawkers off mid-episode though would you jeez that you got your two things you love maybe go one burke one hock what should we try them now yeah okay let's do it it's like what's the girl with the snow white no Cinderella sure the girl with the shoe I don't know I haven't seen it the Hillary Duff classic oh but in that it's her mobile phone is it not a shoe no she drops her flip phone you're joking me oh would I joke about a Hillary Duff movie sorry I'm sorry I'm a doctor I saw something the other day

and it was like in a, it was the local Facebook group. It was Altham-Therer-9-5 and I was like, I walked from here in Eltham to the train station and I think I've lost my phone. If anyone finds a motor, great question. They got to work and have to type it on a computer. And she goes,

if anyone's seen a Motorola flip phone between the post office and the fucking train station. Can you let me know somehow? And I went, no, because if you were going to flip phone from motor. I actually saw it on the corner of Warrondite Road at 1995. So, yeah, I did say it there, actually. How's me knowing a road? Yeah.

Not a road, though, but I like it. But, you know, like, kind of good. Do you want to give me the left one? I also love once when you said it's a road. on the corner of who gives a fuck and I don't care. Yeah, I love that. Now, would you like me to buckle up? We're going to have to buckle them.

Do you want to give me the other one? Now, I'll buckle that. And the other thing is, is that because I'm, oh, oh, oh, no, did you? Sorry, no, I got it. Okay, everyone chat amongst yourselves. Because this is actually like, therapeutic. Well, we're, we're pre time, you know. So what if I can't do the burk?

Well, we've still got a few days. All these things, tight on tight. You guys doing this with the stethoscopes around your neck as well. All right. I'm de-hockin. Some doctors are good doing surgery. Others struggle to put... No, if he's going to hurt, don't. Do I mean not do it for you?

All right. Ready? I'm moving my microphone. Hang on. Burke's by November. He'll that bone. Burks by November. Put strongest.

Don't be healed real soon No more big crack We're really sorry, sorry, sorry, you took that stack Okay, I don't know my pride, you're going to have to talk us through this. Tony is putting on a burq. Here's the right one. Yep. Oh, look at that fit.

She might be Cinderella. Are you ready? Do you want to get a close up of this, Charles? Let me kick me hock out of the way. Ready? Oh, it fits. And hang on. The Maiden Voyage.

They suit you. The baggy black gene in a light-colored burk. You look good. You look great. And I can do this. Yeah, you can. Thank God. Ladies and gentlemen,

Birx by November. Shout out to Dr. Taylor. Dr. Taylor. Love you, bitch. Yep. I just have something else to ask real quick. Yeah, hang on. Let me land.

I have a real quick question because even though I am currently wearing a stethoscope, for those that don't know, Detective Dunn, Scoop John, my spidey senses are tingling. And let me just lay some facts. And then I'll let just let me get this out And then you can answer Don't these look good They do look great

You claim to have had a broken foot Allegedly Allegedly Then late last week We could all hear A bit of a cold coming on And Traditionally

It would be totally fine to say Guys I'm just trying to rest my voice I'm having cold and flus I'm drinking the green juices Yeah And not in a dick way but you're like, I'm out of action for four days, don't come around, don't call.

I'm just... Like I'm a bit of a hot mess, yeah. So, this is what Tony says. Yeah. Oh, I can't do much because I'm in a moon boot. Don't come over, don't call me. This has been like the longest we haven't seen each other in a while, eh? Yeah.

Except for when you went to Fiji without me. Oh, except for that. So we don't see or hear from Tony for four days. and it's the same four days that $160 million worth of goods are stolen from the Louvre and I just I'm just saying the timeline

and do you know how they describe the $160 million worth of stuff stolen from the Louvre they go like oh we know the value but like what's the size of it and the detective goes about the size of a moon boot is that what they said in French though I don't know what the fuck I just did

about the size of a moon boot Yeah, could you imagine, because I've seen a lot of Volusians 11s, you're just rolling him in the moon boot. And I'm like, the perfect getaway vehicle. Like, I can't be her. She's got a busted foot. Little did they know, the moon boots full of jewels. It was a disguise. That's true.

Tony Lodge. Yeah. Do you have anything to say? I'd like to play the fifth. Meta tussle. I'm Amanda from Hong Kong. I'm Stacey from birth, New South Wales. I'm Tanner Wilson from Crawford'sville, Indiana.

You're listening to Tony and Ron. A massive shout out to a few of our champion typas. And for any eagle-eyed watches on YouTube, I've re-hawked. She's re-hawked. I thought it was for the best. I think a Birkenstock is in a fun-time shoe. I'm at work. You're a professional.

You got shit to do. I'm busy. And I respect it. Thank you. Hilsie? Good on your. Hils-oo. Sorry, these are a few of our champions.

tapers that'll be getting a calendar they'll be getting a 2026 calendar right and they'll be copping a big spiel in a hot second yeah Ryan's got logistics chat in one second uh heelsy good on your heelsy mara kamago um okay amazing great fucking name joey bag of donuts better than joey bag of dicks yeah um tas lead good on you tas lindsay linds linds been around for a long time mill kitchen good on you if you can't handle the mills stay out of the kitchen. Haley Roach, good on your Haley. I wonder if she's related to Hell's kitchen.

I love that show. I forced Ryan to go to that restaurant with me when we're in L.A. No, Las Vegas. Yeah, and we were so hungover. We were so hungover. It was after Kelly and Matt's wedding. Yeah. So we did their wedding the night before.

There are two people that listen to the show, by the way. Yep, two tarpers. We went to their wedding, their Elvis wedding in Las Vegas. We paid for it. We wore t-shirts. And then the next morning, I was like, Ryan, I'm so desperate to go to the hell's kitchen restaurant. It was the only day we had free before we came home.

We had to go for dinner at like 10 a.m. Because like they just, it books out like months in advance. No, you're ready for dinner? I'm like, we got home three hours ago. And Ryan's like, I'm going to die. And then because it's so busy, they turn your table over like every 40 minutes. So you do not have very much time to like, sit and enjoy it and there's a gift shop on the way out of a restaurant that's how you know it's

good they've got like all this shit that you can buy it's so funny all the merch in the tv show um if anyone has been to hell's kitchen can you let me know what the third way of the mango is the coconut coconut three ways because they i ordered coconut three ways for dessert i had two ways went to the bathroom by the time i came back to go do it after grog bogg because we've been drinking so i had the two ways then they get back and they're like wrapping us up because there's another booking for 11 o'clock. For 10.30. And all of a sudden, I'm in the gift shop and I go, what is the third way?

And I still, years later. Because they came over to perform the third way. And I was sitting there and I was like, oh, he's just gone to the bathroom. They're like, oh, okay. And then they just never came back. Is that exactly two years ago like this week that we're in the US? Because it was October. We did the meet and greets.

Was that three years ago? Three years ago because it was 2022, wasn't it? No. No, no, it was 23rd. Yeah. I'm doing that thing all people do No, I had the Honda Civic then So it must have

You know how old people would do that? No, well, I didn't have a haircut then Because Jerry died So it must have been in the year before Tony Tony doesn't do calendar She measures in cars And the way that I can normally remember something

Is like, and I was talking to a tarpa and Patreon about this the other day That often something will like stay in my mind Because of what I'm wearing And I'll go, well, I know that I was wearing that And I didn't buy that till then and I remember that because I saved up to buy it from this job or, you know, whatever. I've got a thing where I remember time.

This is when I was younger. If I hear a song, I'll remember who I had a crush on when that song was big. Amazing. Okay, let's test it. Who did you have a crush on when the song, Don't Trust a Ho by 303 game out? And why was that the first song that came to my mom? Sorry, that's iconic from me, actually. Put the stethoscope back on.

That is a wild song choice. And wildly, I have an answer. That was Megan. Megan White Road. And, um, they're fucking Megan white everything after you were done with it. Sorry, Megan.

Hope you doing really well. Beautiful girl. Did you ever bring her home to meet Mandy? Or was that more of her? No, she met Mandy a few times. Oh, yeah. Nice.

A few times. Oh. Okay. Double dipping. Sorry. Nah. I've turned into someone from fucking. This is a real entourage.

This is, do you know why I watched, um, you don't have no entourage? No, I don't. I've never seen it. But Jeremy Pivens in it. Yeah. Oh, he's in a great new movie. Oh, is he? Yeah, everyone should go see it.

Oh, what movie is that? The one where the dinosaurs are in the war movie, primitive war. Oh, shut the fuck about that shit movie. Well, I'd love someone to see it. Um, I watch this. You know those TikToks of people like, hey man, what do you do for work? like, how did you find your career? Why do you do it?

And it's Jeremy Piven on the street. And like, no one knows, like, they had to put his name on the screen. Like, no one knew it was. And the guy interviewing him had no fucking idea. He's like, hey man, what do you do for work? And he takes his headphones out. He's like, I'm an actor. And the guy's just like, oh, what's your name?

He's like, making sure it's like not a prank. He's like looking around there. And he goes, oh, have you been in anything we would have seen? He goes, bro, I've been like 80 movies. was a bit of a dick about it? But he didn't mention entourage for the, you know, first six seconds I watched. That's a shame because that would have got me.

I'm strong. You know, I'm young. That happened in LA to Jackie O. Oh my God. I've seen the Jackie O one. Yeah. Like,

I'm working radio and like, oh, that's weird. They're like, oh. And she's like, yeah, something like that. And she's standing there with like a Chanel outfit off. Yeah.

Anyway, champing and typas for the calendars. Final week to sign up. It is your last week to sign up. You got to sign up by Saturday. Berks by November, sign up by Saturday. How hard could it be to remember? Birx by November, same with the calendar.

That doesn't rhyme. We'll workshop it. Sign up by this week and you will be getting a 2026 calendar which we are so pumped about. There's actually something controversial, Tony, that while you've been out of the office we've been discussing here. I don't know if we'll talk about it on the show or if we'll leave it for a surprise when people see the calendar, but there's like a big editorial decision we need to make

about one of them. Okay. But one person who's getting a calendar will also have the chance to be the Tony and Ryan Golden Ticket Tapper, which means wherever you are in the world. And people listen from all over the world. So thank you so much. But we're going to fly you and a friend from wherever you are to Melbourne, Australia. We're going to pick you up from the airport.

Yeah, in the Audi. We'll go through the thrice through. We're going to handcraft your welcome sign. Are you going to come sitting on a recording? you can read out the normal or nars. We'll have lunch together here. We'll put you up in a hotel, spending money. We've got a whole little plan of stuff for you to do a whole week in Melbourne

and then fly you back and it's going to be a wild time. So anyone who is a champion tarpa by this Saturday, and it's a month, you get a month. So if you sign up today, you're going to be there Saturday. Yeah. But you've got to get a calendar 100% and you're a chance to be the golden ticket tarpa. You also get access to our entire like back catalog of Patreon. So all of the live streams that we've done, the tarpathons.

If you've missed those, they're all available. The other thing, oh, sorry, what were you going to say? Some people have had some very, so tomorrow on the show, we'll go through a few FAQs. Yeah, amazing. There's a couple of curveball FAQs. Okay. And it wasn't like a, oh, I was like, we didn't think of that, but I think you might like it. Okay.

So some of them are just some logistics, but there's a few that are like, almost like they're pitching. They're like, can we do this while we're there? Okay. And so I'll leave it to you tomorrow. you can green light or ba-b-b-b-b-om. Okay, amazing. Yep. But if you do have any questions, we'll do some FAQs tomorrow.

Yep. But if you're in Patreon, message me and I'm answering all the questions. So lay it on me. Yep. Now, do we need to logistically outfit chat? Yeah. So the thing about the cape is that's not really going to work while we're now sitting in these like loungy chairs. Yeah.

But I can match stick. Hmm. Do we? So we're currently sitting on. some armchairs that are a yellow corduroy armchair. Yeah. Now, you can let your imagination do what it will when you hear that. Sexy. I would like to pitch.

Do we get a third armchair in red corduroy? Rotate that in. And just like, oh, it's hot take Tony. Wheel in the flame chair. The throne. Like, imagine if Guy Fieri was a chair. Oh, my God. I think about that constantly.

I'm already there. I'm already thought about it. I was thinking maybe a headband or that yeah that yours sounds cheaper and easier or maybe Charles could we get like something for the microphone for during hot take Tony

we could get like fireworks to like come out of the microphone we have talked about pirating but what about the fire shooting into her face though no probably shooting your face I do care about you I don't care about shooting into my face only when it's hot

Megan White Walls that's what they call me it was White Road thinking Sorry. Can you believe Katie Perry was in that song? So good. Why were she in that song? Was she in that song?

Or was that the one that Leighton Meester's in? Oh, yeah. How did those guys get these hot chicks? I love it. Leighton Meester is such a cool girl. And because you know how she's married to Adam Brody, who's in the O.C. And he's now in that show, nobody wants this. That Kristen Bell, that season two, I think, just came out or is coming out or something.

I fucking love that show. and Lake Meesa's in the new season. As what? I don't know. I haven't, I haven't seen it yet. But that's like, it's too close. But her partner, yeah, it's like them, yeah. Her and Adam Brody, though.

What a cute couple. So hot. Now, do we want to, I know the Cape doesn't work because the Cape's behind you in your and armature, but you're going to like draped over you or something? I could like a sash. Yeah. All right. Thanks, Charles.

We can workshop this. It's been a day of learning and I love it. Yeah. Charles is the MVP, most valuable player. also now that we're back in the studio in Preston here the girls in Preston are happy because Charles is back on hinge oh yeah I heard this area was a bit drier for a few weeks

82 days yeah the drought they've been calling it fucking perfectly wet though yeah the good side of reservoir was getting hosed down um okay hand I'm ready to receive okay you're ready yep you'll like this my hot take is that all people named Christy, Kirstie, Kristen, Kirsten, Kirsten need to decide on one and roll them all together.

You've been scorched. Chaptor. Couldn't agree more because I get those names mixed up so fucking offers. Just pick one. Just pick one. And I'll, and that's fine. Also. Charles, my stage ham. Well, what was interesting is you kept waving that in front of that camera. Which I think Charles was quite happy to. Okay, take that off me.

Also, I should have held it in this hand, sorry, Charles. I did a show with one of those names Weebeck. Yeah. Oh, Kirsty, oh, she might not be. And during an episode, it was of who knew it with Matt Stewart. Yeah, great show. I reckon I called them all seven of the names you just mentioned throughout a one-hour podcast episode. And I said, please don't take this personally.

I'm not like not caring about getting your name right because I actually like, you know, respect you a lot. Yeah. Very funny comic. Yeah. Those names just fucking mean nothing to me. They are all the same. And pick a spelling. And for me, I am so hard on remembering people's names.

It's like a really big thing for me. But a Kirsty curveball, I can't do it. So are you saying curveball is one of them? Like if your name is Curveball, you're also... The Curveball of a Kirsty or Christy or a Christy, or a Curvely? The second that someone says Christy to me, I go, oh, great, it's not Kirsty. And then I go, was it cursory? Like, this is what goes through my mind.

Where did it start? What is the first one? Did someone, did it start with one? Then someone once fucked it up and went, oh, I actually don't mind that. Do you reckon the first one was Kristen Dunst? That's a cursed and dunst And because she is Bridget's favorite actress Bridget loves no one or nothing more in this world

Than Queerston Dunst That's so fair Curresten And apparently one time her sister met someone Who once was in a hairdresser where she was once at Adele was Bridget's sister Adele Yeah

That's crazy That's what Bridget thinks And every time Kristen Dunst comes in And Bridget goes Have you ever heard of a feature nail it's just um but she just loves kirsty danced i just i i think that the names are they're just too similar and i reckon that as a kirstie kristy kirsten kristin kristin kristel kirsty now crystal that's a different name okay i can remember a crystal that's fine but all those names i feel like we just

need to pick one because every time i meet someone with that name i'm like you're beautiful but i'm not going to remember which one it is. Do you think they know? And then I like throw myself off when I'm thinking about it. Do they know? But there would be getting misnamed all the time. Yeah, that this will tidy it up for the whole community. Yeah.

And I'm asking for them to empower themselves and just like have one birthday. So who. Like a horse? Yeah. Like how the horses all have the, is it the second of. First of August? August. Did you know Tim Alfred celebrates horses birthdays every year?

You know what? Yeah. like did I know that no but does it surprise me no because it'll be like every year but what are you doing is like oh it's a horse's birthday on Saturday and I was like you don't have horses he goes yeah but it's they're all their birthdays and I go do something really nice about it don't you think should we oh we do it's a podcast birthday it's August 23rd I was like should we have a joint birthday and then I was like we do and we literally have a party every year I never remember the date of our birthday though like I know it's in August but I can never remember August 23 it's on a calendar which

you can get if you sign up to Patreon by Saturday. Oh! Yes, that's my hot take, is that I just think that we could roll them all into one and avoid all this confusion. I think... Sorry for blocking your camera. You've saved hours of anguish. Thank you. And great use of the term anguish.

I think it's the first time I've said it. Yeah, I'm impressed by that. Yeah. I've got it... It sounded right. Yeah. Now, I thought my love to see it was going to be the coolest thing of the day. Bambom.

Berksby November pretty cool Yeah, that was pretty cool. The doctor, Dr. Taylor, you're saying Birxby November in a med... General Pussy Destroyer. Yeah, that hot take was fucking red hot. Thank you. But I met a Tafer in the wild at the airport.

Oh, did you? Yeah, and I love this person, but I didn't know they were a tarpa. Oh. John Howard. Do you know how many times John Howard came up in conversation the other day and I just kept saying that Tony once pointed out of him in the airport? And said, you're John Howard.

And he went, yeah, I know. Yeah, in the airport. Yeah. There's not a horrible place to get yelled at. Mm. Like, it's like just the scariest place to hear a raised voice. I would say being yelled at by Tony anywhere. Yeah.

He's not great. Yeah, but in the airport especially. Do you know Nate who does the ABC, the weather on ABC News Breakfast? No. You would. Oh, okay. Let me show you. Like, you'll see his face and you'll go, oh, that guy.

Is he the guy that talked about mental health? Yes, I do know who that was yet because I remember that going viral and seeing on Instagram Remind yourself, have a look at his Instagram It is sire. Nate, because he's into science and stuff So he's like a science reporter and meteorologist I do know who this is, yes. Massive tarpa.

Really? Yeah. So I saw him at the airport and he goes, Ryan, and I went, so he did a little run on play school and we've just hit that run at home. I connie. And I was like, we're ABC News Breakfast Household. We love you on Play School, blah, blah, blah.

I was like, my daughter loves it and he goes, oh, Mabel, it's great to here. And I was like, and I tried to tell him all these stories. And he's like, yeah, I know, you've said it. I was like, what end of town are you from? He goes, I'll live over here. And I go, oh, that's great. Yeah, I'll live with nothing.

He goes, I know. I know his phone. He goes, I know Megan White Road. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not interested in this. Yeah. That is so fun. And just for those playing at home, Ryan's phone is at 17% battery.

That's low, dude. That's low. That's low. She'd bring that up. This time of day, you know what I mean? People are just starting their day and you fucking... It's a very thin red line. Yeah.

It's thinner than me. That's funny. All right. What do you love to see? But I love to say that Nate is a tarpa and seeing a tarpa in the wild. That's amazing. Thanks, Nate. Yep.

I've got to you love to see... He also invited us on to News Breakfast anytime. The Australian Broadcasting Corporation. Yes. Interested. Yep. Do you know what was a bit hard actually? Speaking of being invited onto the television.

not the weekend just gone the weekend before that was telephone remember when we got turned away for going on telephone we didn't get turned away they said you can work in the background at 2 a.m.

You're too risky to have on the TV on top? You can't... Ryan emails Channel 7 my favourite television network and says Tony's lifelong dream is to be on telephone

it's basically for anybody not from Perth which is most people it's like Charles can you Google what percentage of the world's population is not from Perth love it

make sure you don't include people from Perth, Scotland the Children's Hospital raise like the telethon is to raise money for the Children's Hospital in Perth and they do it every year

and it's like three full days like live on TV and it's like celebrities call out like people who have donated money there's like TV performances I was like oh the actress from home and away if you call through an hour donate you can chat to

Nick and Nakitakadamu yeah need aided Nicodema yeah and then it'll be like oh the the heart throb from fucking home and away's on if the next person that donates a hundred dollars like he'll take his shirt off you know it's like so cheek and it's very family fun

it's very sweet but it was like as a kid I always wanted because you could go because it was at the convention center you could go and sit in the audience and I always wanted to go and mum and double like, no, it's too dangerous. She can't be in the city at night time. Dangerous. At a fundraiser for a children's hospital.

Like, I have grown up with such trauma of being lied to. Like, you've just got no idea. Do you know how much they raised this time? $90 million. Isn't that unreal? That's actually not my love to say it, but now it is. That should be. The people of Western, my love to say it is the people of Western Australia.

Do we have a percentage, Charles? Yeah, so it's 99.97% of the world's population. not from Perth. Can I just say something? That means 0.03% of people in the world are from Perth. That is high. Someone knows multiplication, subtraction, and how to count to 100. Thank you.

But that 0.03 feels high. It does. It does also say for every one person from Perth, there's averaged 3,500 people from somewhere else. That's a lot. That's a crazy thing. How did you get that? That's a great fuck.

My love to say it is that start work. That's amazing stalwart. Can I tell you how fucked up? That's great, Charles. Can I tell you how fucked up my brain is there? You fucking, you know that, man. That's just amazing. I'd say give yourself a raise,

but he already fucking did a few months ago, so you're doing it all. So, Charles just takes our card on Spencer. Yeah. The raise is built in. Yeah, I've got to turn the notifications off on the work card on my phone because when Charles leaves this building and my phone's just buzzing. Oh, it's buzzing off. Yeah, I know.

You know how fucked up my brain is. When he said Perth is less than, 0.03, my brain goes, oh, so you could still drive home. Because blood alcohol level? Every time you hear, every time you hear, oh, like, less than 0.05, you go, well, yeah, that's the limit. I have genuinely never thought that in my entire whole life. And Charles goes, yeah, it's under 0.03. And I was like, oh, you still drive home.

I just, sorry, I hate to nitpick, but I actually said that I did that quick maths. Yeah, and when you said that, I just want everyone to know that I under the maps. No, Charles brought the stats. You did the math. And then I thought I could still drive home. Everyone from Perth could still drive home. Also, do people overseas, let me break some fucking science facts down for you. In Australia, there's like a legal limit where they test your breath and blood.

And in America, they ask if you can walk in a straight line. Do they do a breath test in America as well? I don't think so. Sure. I'll just go, say the 50 states and walk along that line and I'll decide whether I'm booking you. Oh, don't bring up the 50 states. Charles will sing that fucking song again. Jesus Christ, that's all.

Breath tests are also used in the US. do yeah well I think they have to do some kind of like legitimate testing it says there's no like RBT like random breath test but they do do oh yeah I got RBT on the way to oh fuck it must have been ages ago because I haven't been coming to work before we went to America I guess I got RBT on the way to work yeah it's crazy I love that they do it though near Northland yeah yeah yeah yeah we talked about this but I said to the guy same and I said to the guy it's like oh what does the people have had like a big night the night before and it's still pretty still pinging in the morning and he goes you just the guy just looked

to me goes we've seen it all bro yeah and I went fuck that one they do drug testing roadside drug testing they got to spit on the thing like rub your tongue yeah the tongue that like you scrape your tongue yeah isn't that a weird feeling oh it makes me like like like like you know when you yeah yeah and like that gives you that like weird feeling that it looks like you it's not weird for you megan white mouth over it um love you literally so much thanks for hang out with us Thanks for celebrating Birx by November. Thanks for coming back to the studio with us. Oh, thanks for having me.

And this looks great. I was talking to everyone else. Like to the Tarpas listening and watching, I was talking to them. Actually, so fair. And on behalf of you, Tony says, thank you. Sorry that I'm every tarpa. I'm every tarpa. They come in me.

What a man, want to come on, baby. What I'm close to. Did you say they come in me? Yeah. Is that the real? No, it's all in me is the words. Bye! Love you, bye!