Toni and Ryan - The Naked Truth About Public Showers
Episode Date: July 9, 2025[VIDEO FOR THIS EP AVAILABLE ON YOUTUBE] love ya!!!!!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ry...an.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Lalalalalala!
Lalalalalala!
Lalalalalala!
Do you reckon if I went to the local fish and chip shop
and gave them a turkey,
they would dunk it in the deep fryer?
I think you should ask him.
That you mind if I just drop a turkey in?
Not a euphemism?
Yes, I've got this girl goblin on me turkey.
I've got this girl schlongin on me goblin.
I've got a headache from like,
that's actually too much for Tony Lodge.
Hi, I'm Holly from Perth.
I'm Amy from Highwickman, England.
I'm Dr. Kimmy, PhD from Denver, USA.
I approve this podcast.
We've just had a bit of a nice naughty snack and
of a nice naughty snack and Tony is a professional and she's ready to do the show. Charles, Sophie, very professional, ready to do the show. The snort, the snorty snack, the naughty snack
has made me a bit funny and everyone's being- And no one saw it coming. And this is the
eats. That was a surprise surprise the surprise of it all is
right yeah and what I want to say so yeah I know and I'm sorry because you
are being a professional and you're trying to keep it together and I'm not
helping and it's on me so don't let me being shit and terrible affect you being
awesome and perfect?
Is there anything you'd like to- What a fucking b**** you won't say that.
Oh, you being perfect and beautiful.
I was trying to take the blame and gas you up
and you're taking it the wrong way.
You're gassing someone up, that's for sure.
Yeah, myself.
You've just burped about eight.
Let me keep talking when I do it.
But I don't want to, I don't want to be involved.
You know what?
Where this has never happened at the country women's association.
That is not true.
Those old ducks fucking they let rip.
Do you reckon that they're all doing bags together and stuff?
That definitely would be doing like medicinal gummies and stuff.
Yes.
Because you know the arthritis and the old aches.
Would they go to that rave bingo thing we discovered?
Bingo loco.
We did discover yesterday bingo loco and
I might be celebrating a Christmas and July party
that was supposed to be my house.
At bingo loco.
We'll get to that soon, but first,
let's do normal or nah.
Here we go.
This is from Shmellamy.
Because she didn't want to put her name to it.
So fair.
After doing the hippity dippity with my partner,
I do a quick little two taps, just to say good job.
Oh, that's nice.
Yeah, and they do it to each other.
Yeah.
It's like they both finish up.
High five, good job. Yeah, I know it's each other. Yeah. It's like they both finish up. High five, good job. Yeah I know it's always just two taps good job. It could be on the back or the arms or the tummy
it's not location specific but it's just a little tap to say good job we're done. Oh yeah okay.
I've only just you know what's that the the the glass is shattered. Well from How I Met Your Mother
is why this came up for us.
Is that like, it's something you don't realize and someone goes,
oh, you know how Blah always does this thing and you go, oh,
and then you realize it and you can't like ignore it after that.
Shmellamy says, I've only just realized that we've done this every time
we've done the hippity dippity for the past five years.
That's quite sweet.
Is this normal or nah?
I like a GGWP, good game well played.
I think that's quite sweet.
That's too fast for me.
GGW, good game well played.
Yeah.
So like at the end of a footy game, you know how they all like shake hands on the field
and whatever, GGWP, all good.
So when you and Torbz have done the hippity dippity,
do you like shake his hand and go GDWP?
Nah, I normally say,
I might hop in the shower.
He's like, normally what I would say.
Yep.
Or, yeah, that's it.
No, you know, you just like, love you. Like, thanks.
Thanks.
Like, so often we'll be like, thanks for doing it with me.
But thanks feels like, makes it feel like they are doing charity work.
It's just nice though, isn't it?
Oh, thank you.
Like, that was so nice.
Thank you for that donation, Torbs.
Yes, sperm donation.
Oh, sorry.
Um. You know what I like that's just nice. Do you guys say
nah. Once someone tried to high five me one time. I don't like high fives anyway but that would
probably be the last place I would want someone to offer me a high five. It was a bit like
But that would probably be the last place I would want someone to offer me a high five. It was a bit like...
Too enthusiastic?
Torbs.
Not someone!
It was like too enthusiastic.
Yeah.
Good job!
Well done!
And I was just like...
But, oh!
It feels like a bit bro-y.
I was like, just let me fall asleep and be...
But I think that all high fives are...
I hate that.
Just let me fall asleep and be a piece of shit on my own.
Yeah.
But I think...
I quite like the...
Alright, like, good game. Good game? Good game. Good own. Yeah but I think I quite like the all right like good game good game good game
good game yeah good game good game oh uh melsy cow guys using the hair dryer to dry themselves in
the gym change rooms to dry their hair bollocks naked not a towel in sight fully air drying their full bodies with
the hairdryer oh oh don't have a towel no problemo
remember that time that I put the hairdryer between my legs to hold because
I didn't have very much bench space but the hairdryer had been on and the middle grade at the end burnt my asshole.
Remember that?
No.
Oh, we've told that.
I must have suppressed that right down.
Yeah.
That's normally how you're pushing me.
Down.
Yeah, and I burnt like the inside of my thigh and like,
you know the crest of the ass?
Yeah, like a little.
Yeah, on my cup. Got me on my cup. Got me on the cup.
Got me on the cup.
Burn me cup. Burn me cup.
Malsey said I saw this...
You stupid cat.
Cup!
What did you say?
CUT!
Beat that.
Oh, sorry for saying CUT.
Sorry. On a Tony and Ryan Friday.
A Tony and Ryan day.
I saw one-
Tony and Fry.
Now, people might not know this if you're new to the show and welcome to RT YouTubers
because we're on YouTube every day now.
Tony is a sound engineer by trade and an audio queen.
So I'm going to need you to audibly give a rendition of what Malcy is just describing
here.
I saw one bloke sit naked on the bench
and his asshole- Do you want me to get naked?
Audibly. His asshole sucker cups the bench while he like bent down to like air dry his feet.
I thought he's air drying his feet and it's sort of like, you know when they
put the plunger on the bald guy's head yeah and then they came back up you know yeah imagine every time I
got off a chair that's enough for me also trying yourself with a hair dryer is That's an R from me.
Also drying yourself with a hair dryer is so weird.
Use a towel.
Well maybe they just didn't have one or these guys are just living the dream at the local
gym there.
Also like being naked in a change room is so, but like I think it feels a little bit
different if it's like you've just played a game of footy
and you're all there together and you kind of know it. But like being in a change room at the gym
where the other people you don't know them is so fucking rogue to me. Like watching the old people.
When you have a swim though, what do you do after?
Well normally I have a rinse in the showers that's like in the pool area.
And then I just put my hooded towel on and I go home and have a shower at home.
I guess I have like the luxury of that.
But if I, if I was getting ready for work at the pool, I would go into the shower and
get changed in there.
Like I wouldn't do it out at the bench.
Most guys don't have a closed off shower, just a room with shower heads.
Like where I go for a swim in the morning,
it's just like, there's just four shower heads.
They're not like separate cubicles.
Oh.
What?
Yeah.
Is that, that's normal for the guys room, isn't it?
Yeah, like, so when I was, earlier in the year,
I went to like Hot Springs and it was just,
it's exactly that.
Yeah. Yeah.
So normally, like a women's change room
is like cubicles and there'll be like
a shower head like it so you kind of step in and there's like a little bench and a hook to put your
stuff on and then you step into the shower and that's like a separate part of the cubicle.
What? Yeah. Oh that's actually brand fucking new information. Huh. There was two cubicles,
there was like two shower things where I was
at the Hot Springs, but the rest,
it was just like, I think four or five,
like open shower heads.
So now-
Is there no open shower heads at all?
No, no, no, no, no, it's all private.
Like I've never walked into a,
I've never walked into a change room
and there's been like showers just like out.
It's always like in a
Cubicle what the fuck I was gonna say I'll take a photo but it's you're not letting me
So the other day in the in the shower area
At the health and leisure center. There's a wall of lockers
Yeah, and then the wall of lockers is joined by another wall, which has a bench on it
Yeah
So this guy was sitting right at the end of the bench where the lockers were
and my stuff was like next to him.
Yeah.
And I had to reach like up like...
Oh sorry.
Yeah I had to like reach over this guy...
while I was nude to get my stuff.
Wait you had your cock out in the train train?
I had my towel on but I was like I waddled over.
No! Hang on.
So I'm in my towel and I had to a towel on but I was like I waddled over. No hang on
Was he naked? He also had a towel on thank you Tony
He also had a towel I think he might have had a shirt on because he was getting dressed
But I waited for a bit and I was like what I can't wait all day and then had to kind of up up up. And someone's always only sitting in front of the locker where
your stuff is like they're never at the other end. I usually put my stuff on the end because I just
liked knowing it's like nipping or just in the corner something. It's also then you don't have
to remember what one it is. Yeah I know it's the bottom corner or whatever. That's what I do too.
And then but so I remember saying to myself like next time I'm Yeah, I know it's the bottom corner or whatever. That's what I do too. And then, but so I remember saying to myself like,
next time I'm just gonna put it on the other side
and it's gonna be fine because I don't have to drag
my sake across this old block again.
Hang on.
So rewind and freeze.
I'm gonna have to take you into the men's
at Eltham Leisure Center.
So you have a shower at the Eltham Leisure Center
after you have a swim or you go to the gym whatever, do you get naked in the communal area of the shower?
Yeah. So you walk in, you put your towel on the hook and then you walk in, you have your
shower and they've got like the little like, like, you know, like, you know, then you'll
lather yourself up. I don't want to tell you how to use soap.
Fucking heaven forbid the internet survived
that one the first time.
And you just lather yourself up,
rinse yourself off, great, walk over, grab your towel,
and then walk to where your stuff is.
What if, question, what if you've just been for a swim,
would you leave your Speedos on?
Well, often it would be,
not that this matters or is the right way to do it,
but often you'd probably take,
like you might take them off while you're in there.
That's like your moment of-
Because then-
Shut up.
Shut the fuck up.
You clean yourself and then you're gonna go take them off after. That's weird because you wanna like-
So you're bending over in a communal shower
to take your speedos off?
But think if you-
No!
If you left them on-
No, no, no, no, no, you shut the fucking hell them on. You shut the fucking hell up. You'll still have,
they got chlorine in them.
You want to soap into them and give them a little.
Yeah.
So you're bending over and taking your speedos.
I agree.
You're taking the-
We've just lost YouTube subscribers.
Our 100,000 plaque has just fallen over in disgust.
Yeah.
So you're taking them off in the shower.
Are there often other people in there
or do you only do that if it's empty?
No, there's four or five.
Four or five, yeah.
People?
Yeah, yeah, so four or five shower heads.
But in the morning,
most people are doing a swim before work.
So it's sort of like, get your swim,
get dressed after work.
So you're saying there's,
could be like five naked bodies showering next to each other.
It's never full, but it's also never empty though.
It's just like people coming in and out all day
of the showers.
That is crazy.
Do I need to do a walkthrough of Facebook Live?
No, no, you can't do that.
No, I'll just find a time when no one's... You just
said it's never empty. But maybe like if they open at 6am and I get 601 or if it closed at 10pm I'll
do an 11. You know like... That's so fucking weird. That's weirder than what you're saying you already
do. But I feel like I need to like show you. No because it's not that I don't understand the
layout, it's that I can't understand you being in there naked. That's crazy to me
So where I would just never be naked somewhere in public, but if you think that that's the difference
It's public you're not you're in the shower. You're in a public shower
But if you've still got your bathers on then you're taking the chlorine and stuff with you and the whole point of the shower is
To dechlorine and get the crap off. Yeah, no, and I actually do totally get that.
I guess that's where in my mind,
if I'd just been for a swim,
I would wanna have a private shower
so I could take the bathers off.
Which I get, but that's,
but if the only option was a public shower,
then I'd go, well, obviously not.
Like that too, I wouldn't go, oh, maybe I would be like,
well, I'll just go home.
Would you like to come over to my place for a swim and then we'll shower together after?
Just as friends, but also as a gateway to your future showering.
I don't think that...
Because then you get comfortable at home, you know, and then...
And then so you go from yourself to a friend...
Is there no part of you that...
To a couple of friends and then all of a sudden you live in Laveda, Loca.
Is there no part of you that thinks it's weird that you're naked at the public shower?
You know what I mean? Cliff used to go skinny dipping at the beach.
Is there no part of you that thinks it's weird that you're doing the public naked shower?
It would actually be weirder to not.
See that I, like, I don't know if it's because in women's bathrooms that we don't just don't
have it so you don't see it.
Yeah.
Remember when we were in New York and went to that bath house?
Yes.
The showers there that were like the communal ones for everyone.
That's what a men's locker rooms normally like.
Oh, yeah.
Now everything's always got like a locked door in a women's.
That would have been-
And I went in there in my back, like, cause people were just walking into rinse off and
then go in the pool or whatever.
That I did.
Cause it was just like, yeah, okay.
Sorry, I feel like we've blown something wide open here.
Well, if that's done your head in, I'm sorry everyone for this last normal on our today.
And I don't know if we're gonna have to stop
on the name for a bit,
but this one is from Caitlin Bates.
It's not Cathy Bates, is it?
I just read the things.
Remember we had dinner with Cathy Bates?
Yeah, I live in her Airbnb.
Of course. Yeah.
I love Kath.
Now, this is also...
I wonder how her husband's going.
Mr. Bates.
When you jerk off in New Zealand, Mr. Bates.
That's funny. High five.
Now, Caitlin Bates has only just realized because someone pointed out like you don't ever really
That she's a huge celebrity.
Yeah. You never really take stock of how do I hold the steering wheel. After a few years
surely you just get in the car and you just drive.
Yeah. And sometimes if you get into a car that's not yours and you go to hear it, go
to hold it, but the spokes in a different spot and you go, oh, that's not yours and you go to hear it, go to hold it but the spokes in a different spot
and you go oh that's weird. So Kathy Bates didn't realize that she's been dino gripping this whole
time. Oh, ehh! Can you describe that for us? I hate that, that's like a claw. Oh that is horrendous,
that's like an old lady grip, that's like how an old woman holds an umbrella.
What sort of umbrella do you have?
It looks like she's holding a pencil.
In what world?
That's what I remember you trying to give me the hoof job that time.
When we were being mooses.
I would give you a hoof job.
Thank you. Um, but Katelyn Bates said
I just sort of never really realized and my friend
got in the car and went, um, excuse me.
What the hell is going on?
Normal to not
realizing how you do it, but nah to not.
Nah to the dino claw grip.
How an old woman holds an umbrella. Realizing how you do it, but nah to the dino claw grip. Yeah.
How an old woman holds an umbrella.
It's so specific.
Oh, we've been at the CWA this week.
You've just got old ladies on the brain.
Hi, I'm Holly from Perth.
I'm Amy from Highwacom in England.
I'm Dr. Kimmy, PhD from Denver, USA.
And you're listening to Tony and I.
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I've loved thinking about like what I'm going to wear.
Cause before I just wore it just garbage every day.
No.
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So thank you very much.
Well, now that would be great.
Now what is not great is-
Getting canceled on.
What's actually not great is when you give someone
a recommendation and they get fucked over
by the person you recommend.
So I decided to have a Christmas in July at my house.
Yeah.
One of my friends, it's her birthday around now, she loves Christmas, so I was like, let's
come over to my house, let's get a private chef to do a full fancy Christmas dinner,
Christmas in July, we'll all wear Christmas sweaters, it'll be great.
Because there's like 20 of you, right?
But there's a lot of you, and so you kind of go, oh, if we do like a chef, it'll be great. Cause there's like 20 of you, right? Or, but there's like, there's a lot of you.
And so you kind of go, oh, if we do like a chef,
it's actually probably going to end up costing less
than it would to go to like a restaurant
and do like a Christmas in July banquet or something.
So I'm like- And at home, you've all got kids.
All the kids can go to sleep in the one, you know,
like how good.
So there's 17 adults that we invited and could know.
I don't even know 17 people's names.
Because everyone's got kids and different stuff going on, it's sort of normal to
float it to the group chat and of the 17, you know.
Some of us, we're on holiday.
8 or 10 might turn up.
Jenny's mum's here that weekend.
Yeah, there's always something and it's fine. It's just how it is when you're with kids.
I've already got RSVPed yesterday to a Tupperware party.
I won't be able to come.
So we've got, at our table there's room for eight
at a push.
I'd say six comfy, eight at a push.
You cannot invite 17 people.
They all said yes.
No, but 17 with room for eight, that's not okay. They all said yes,
17 people are coming. No, no, no, but you can't invite 17 with only 8. I think if you go,
we've got room for 15, we've invited 17, maybe one couple can't come. 17 with room for 8 is
not a good ratio. Well, there's the bench and then we've got a table outside that we
might bring inside and if we if we put like a big Christmas like tablecloth
yeah like you know Christmas day where you can't just make shit happen. I think
that the hodgepodge table is the best fun. Yeah I'm gonna put Anders on the
kids table even though he's an adult. Put? Anders. I thought you said Antlers? No because
they're still because when you're all, who goes on the shitty kids fold out one?
Oh, nah, I like the fold out table.
Tony and Anders.
I haven't been invited.
Well, you invited yourself though, and this is what I want to talk about.
A few times actually.
Tony wasn't invited.
Recommended chef.
Yep.
And I've just found out after three months of emails back and
forth, dietary is checking numbers that they are not available. Can I... can I put...
because that obviously... It's actually not all on them. It's... I didn't get... I'll look through the email. Some of it is the emailer, not just the
email-y. Look, as it turns out, I've got 17 people coming over
to sit at my eight-person table to eat food
that doesn't exist yet.
Yeah.
That actually is a real pickle.
I love pickles.
CWA.
They're vinegar cucumbers.
CWA, I could get you some.
That would be great, thank you.
So Tony's offered to cook.
Well, yeah.
Well, because I said, this chef I follow on Instagram,
post the coolest shit.
Like the food looks amazing.
And Ram's like, oh my God, yes.
And then, so because that kind of fell through,
I felt a little bit guilty
because it was my recommender,
even though I said, I'm just saying she looks awesome.
I haven't eaten her food.
It wasn't like, oh, we had her and it was great. It was like, said, I'm just saying she looks awesome. I haven't eaten her food.
It wasn't like, oh, we had her and it was great.
It was like, oh, she's a good option.
I did feel a bit bad and I said, what if I cooked the dinner?
It was an empty offer in all truth and sincerity.
Now because I live out in the burbs and most of my friends live in Brunswick and we're trying to like, because there's 17 of us, like well
we probably can't all stay and there was chat. Oh that's where you realized the
limit was. Not at the 8 person table. No, no, no. I was more like, well if we've got a couple in that room and a
kids in that room and another couple there, well we'd, yeah like a couple on
the couch, it's, we're filling up, we're filling up. And so did you also... Sorry, I just got the hiccups.
Did you also offer to pick everyone else up in a bus? I did. I said, I said, what if we got a fun
bus and I could rock up with like, you know, the party bus and I drive everyone back to Brunswick?
Ship them all out. Ship everyone out. And I would like to say officially formally here on the show. Yeah, yes to both
It's actually a one-or-the-other type of scenario
Are you sure about that? Because I'll definitely take one or the other
Which one if you had to pick one?
If you had to pick one, which one would you go with?
Charles, I just had an idea.
Yes.
So now that you're like best friends with the CWRA ladies, what if they came and cooked
dinner?
That'd be a great fundraiser.
That's actually so fun.
We'll get Dolores and Ursula.
Casserole.
And is that her name? Ursula, Angela and Cassarole will come down.
Cass for short.
I just got like Cassie, yeah.
What's Cassie short for Cassandra?
Cassarole!
That's just how she gets her roles.
If you didn't hear during the week,
Tony's joined the Country Women's Association
is going to be helping cooking for the needy.
Do I count as needy? I am needy
They're casserole on the floor up what if I can't run a matron casserole?
What are those?
Does the casserole is my favorite for Christmas.
All right, so if the CWA ladies.
They might be booked.
If they do Christmas in July is huge.
If they do dinner then you can.
Christmas women's association.
Oh my god.
They're all called Eve.
If they do dinner, you can do the bus.
Yeah.
Cool. Thanks for watching today, everyone.
That's been pretty good.
What are you actually going to do?
Like genuinely, what are you actually gonna do? Like genuinely, what are you actually gonna do?
Is it... Do you reckon if I went to the local fish and chip shop and gave them a turkey they
would dunk it in the um in the deep fryer? Do you reckon they would? Okay then, James. I think you should ask her. Have you got any oil? How's the oil going out the back?
You mind if I just...
Drop a turkey in?
Not a euphemism?
Yes, I'm fucking this girl.
And all of a sudden I drop a turkey in.
And she goes, aww.
Made her gobble.
Oh
Yes, I've got these kill goblin on me too
Got these girls slung on on me go I am never gonna I've got a headache from like that's actually too much for Tony Lodge if anyone's getting sucked off this weekend the first time the moment it starts happening That's like a turkey.
I am crying.
That has made me feel sick.
What are you actually going to do?
Can I drive the bus?
Yeah, but what are you gonna fucking order macs
to 17 people at your eight person table?
So the thing about private chefs is,
usually you book it-
Months.
Months in advance, but it turns out, shocker,
we're not the only one that had a Christmas in July idea.
No, totally.
And I think that for the private,
like I've never had a private chef before,
and this feels like a real one-off,
but it turns out everyone else is having their one-off
on a Friday or Saturday night in July.
Like it's-
1000%, yeah.
It's really-
And because it's that kind of, I mean, it's raining now.
So kind of weather where you do kind of want to be at home
and like-
And because in Australia, we don't get a cold Christmas.
So it's actually like, this sounds like really cheesy,
but like it's a real novelty
for us to wear Christmas sweaters, put the fire on,
like really have a good time.
And cozy up.
Yeah, and I'll get 17 Big Macs in a meal, thanks.
Yeah.
And the clurries because we're celebrating.
Yeah, yeah, pop a candle in one of those
for Rachel's birthday and call it a day.
Yeah, so.
Well, if I've already got the bus,
what if I did the Maccas run?
Take the bus through the drive-through, yeah. I did the Maccas run? Take the bus through the drive-through, yeah.
I did the Maccas run.
Do you have to have a special license?
Like what's the limit?
I think you can get up to 12 or 14.
I've done a winery trip where I was the designated driver.
10 out of 10 do not recommend that job.
And drove- See, I would like that.
And drove this same crew around Hillsville one day.
I would like that.
I like being the Dezo. Yeah. I find would like that. I like being the deso.
Yeah.
I find that quite fun.
I like being the saver.
As in like, I love it that like everyone gets to just have fun
and not worry about, and I've just got it.
Well, do you want, have you got Christmas in July?
Well, this is what I, I don't know if I can drive
that many people around.
Charles, how many?
Up to 12 people, including the driver.
So 11 plus.
So 11 plus.
So 11 guests.
So two of us are staying.
Cause I live there.
Oh, you're going to stay?
Yeah.
Oh, you bagged yourself a good room, did you?
Yeah, the master.
And I think a few others.
So that would be 10 or 15 down to 30.
Yeah, no, I'll take you 12.
I think that what you should do is cancel the dinner and go to Bingo Loco.
Kate and Adam live in Macleod so they don't.
Cancel the dinner and go to Bingo Loco. Kate and Adam live in Macleod, so they don't. Cancel the dinner and go to Bingo Loco.
Only 11 need to get back to Brunswick.
Cancel the dinner and go to Bingo Loco.
Get Maccas on the way to Bingo Loco.
Where's Bingo Loco?
If you're just joining us today, we discovered the concept of Bingo Loco yesterday, which
is a stage show slash bingo evening, which is a global sensation. So the Melbourne show that's on Saturday, July the 19th is 170 Russell Street,
Sydney City. Oh, great.
It'll be hard to find a park for the bus, but apart from that will be all good.
But you just get the bus to drop you off.
Yeah. As in like, yeah, yeah.
Oh, there is a Wilson parking next door.
Done. How much to park a bus? I think that's a Wilson parking next door. Oh. Done.
How much to park a bus?
I think that's a height limit as well.
Remember when I got stuck in a-
I'm only six foot.
No, but-
A bit of GST on that, mate.
Financial year's over.
You've got to take that into account.
And I'm not buying what you're selling.
I told the University of the Pacific
when I was in year 12 trying trying to get a volleyball scholarship,
that I was six foot four.
Because this was like pre YouTube where you just,
like you'd have to just send like a resume
and that'd have to take your word for it.
Pre YouTube, what do you mean?
Well like now if you were applying, if you were.
Sorry.
Sorry, this is pre YouTube.
What does YouTube have to do with how tall you are?
No, so now you're like.
Well four shows a week now.
So.
Well, it's like now you would say here's a YouTube link to my highlights and they would
see if you were tall or not.
Oh, I see.
You have to admit there was no link between those two things.
Yeah, so that's why I explained it.
No, no, no.
I told them how tall I was.
This was pre-YouTube. So it was all good.
It's pre sharing videos online. So you just send them an email and you say you're six
foot four.
Yeah. Yeah. Now it does make sense. Thank you, Sophie. Yeah. Yeah. You're welcome.
I can get your 12-set of van as well. Thank you.
Sophie loves a van.
I do. That's true. I will not be doing that. Driving.
The thing that I won't.
Well, Sophie, now that I'll be honest,
I don't know if I can take you guys or cook
because I want to go to Pink on my code.
I would win a holiday to Paris.
I thought you said you were gonna sit on YouTube
and watch volleyball highlights that night.
No, I'm not gonna be able to come
because I want to find out how tall you are. So I'm gonna be on highlights that night. I'm not going to be able to come because I want to find out how tall you are.
So I'm not going to be on YouTube that night. There's four of us. At Bigo Loco. What um what
prizes they got going that night does it say? Was it the same ones you read out yesterday? The air fryer,
a trip to Paris. It says vacations random prizes ranging from lawnmowers to giant teddy bears.
I mean once you've made the fucking sales,
stop selling.
Don't you reckon?
Oh, but it does say previous prizes include
a holiday to Vegas, a bathtub.
That's actually a great price.
I was waiting for you to say a bathtub full of something
for some reason.
No, bathtub full of jelly beans.
Then the next one's a car.
Then the next one's a three meter teddy bear, then a flat screen
TV, a lawnmower and even a boat.
Houseboat.
Houseboat.
Okay, if you're watching or listening, I would like you to go to the episode thread in our
Facebook group or comment in the YouTube section.
Would you rather go to Bingo Loco or Christmas in July at my house?
Because it feels like there's a sentiment in the room that maybe if I go to Bingo Loco
and those guys can go to my house and figure it out.
Then you don't have to worry about it.
Yeah.
Here's who breathes.
Sort it out.
Does this make sense?
So it says doors open at 6 PM and then heads down at 6 45 PM.
Yeah.
So that's when your head's down for Bingo because you can't look at other people's shades.
Yeah, come on Charles, get it together.
I'm part of the CWA.
I know how bingo works.
Do you remember when I punched that kid
playing heads down thumbs up?
What do you mean do I remember?
You know what I mean?
See that's what I was thinking, heads down thumbs up.
Yeah.
You remember heads down thumbs up?
Yeah.
Yeah, can I be very, can I be honest?
I need to be honest.
Everyone, so if you're standing in your lounge room,
walk right up to the screen,
remember where you were at this moment.
I need to be really honest.
If you're on the treadmill, get off for a sec.
Concentrate.
Pull over.
During heads down, thumbs up,
I used to cheat and look at the shoes.
Pfft.
Loser.
And I'm so sorry.
Should we play that?
Should we play heads down thumbs up now?
But you know that look at the shoes.
I don't know if I could. I've been relapsed. I don't know if I want to do anything with her. It's down the lums up now. But you know that look at the shoes.
I don't know if I could.
I've relapsed.
I don't know if I wanna do anything with her.
I'm really, I am really sorry.
Cause that is just such shit behavior.
Is it fair to say.
Not that I'm eagly.
Sorry.
Yeah, save space.
Is it fair to say that we're friends
and we've been through a lot together? Yes. I think that's fair. Is it fair to say that we're friends and we've been through a lot together?
Yes, I think that's fair.
Is it fair that when we met
and we started like recording audio,
like we didn't really know each other,
we've had to build trust,
I'm sure there's been rooms you've been in
that I haven't been where you've like stuck up for me.
Absolutely.
I know there's been-
Fucking oath there has.
Yeah, there's been times-
Just the other day.
Yeah, I reckon there's a room-
Someone said he's not six foot. Yeah, there's been times just the other day. Yeah, I reckon there's a room
No, seriously, there's time I stand up for Tony when she's not around I don't think that's ever happened that happens a lot
Yeah, I'm like, oh she's just the hot one. And I'm like, no, but she's so smart.
You don't know what she does behind the scenes.
She's a hard worker.
Yeah, she loves to shlob on my goblah.
That was today.
Yeah.
Sorry, get to the point.
It's not just anyone you let shlob on your goblin.
I've gone into bat for you and you know how like you stick up for a celebrity and you
find out that it's done some fuck stuff and you kind of regret like all the stuff you
ever done before?
Yeah.
Well, that's not what's happening here.
I feel like I've stuck up for you
and now we've all found that out.
I'm like, fuck.
I really backed that one in
and I'm just hanging out with a heads down thumbs up cheater.
I'm really, I am really sorry.
It's disappointing to hear.
It's also wildly out of character.
It totally is. It is.
It really is.
And I'm sorry to anybody that I've let down by that recent revelation.
I've just got such a good memory that it was so easy for me to remember whose shoes were
whose and it was like such a superpower.
I was just about to say I've never been let down more by someone I've done a podcast with
But that's not really true
You would not let them shlong when you got one
I've got a half to say
This is actually I want to even the ledger because you've been honest and vulnerable
Let me tell you about the time I punched a child. Yeah
So did you ever?
Is this when you punched that kid over the pool noodles?
No, they were the strangest kids in a Campbell Field Kmart.
So true.
I hate it when that happens.
Well, if a kid, if a kid in Kmart hits you with a pool noodle. You hit him back. I get it.
Yeah. And then the person comes over and goes, excuse me, so you can't do that
with your kids and you go, I don't know these guys.
These are my kids.
And I did say to the 15 year old working at Kmart
that I didn't start it.
And he went.
I was actually finishing it.
Yeah.
So did you have a buddy system in primary school?
Like when you're in prep,
they hook you up with one of the like grade six kids
to kind of be your buddy.
Like an older brother, kind of that kind of energy.
In high school, it was like when you started year six,
you got a year 10 and it was called 10s friends.
And you got to hang out with them on like a Monday afternoon.
You got to like go and do activity.
Yeah, so when I was at like the top end of primary school,
Man, he was in prep and he just started.
Hi Man.
And Man was like, we were buddies.
Yeah.
So you know, like a little, he was my little brother and if you ever need anything bud,
anyone give me a message, you come and let me know, you know.
That's nice.
Yeah, and so we hang out and we're gonna play Duck Duck Goose.
Right? And then so we're all sitting in a circle.
Yeah, it's a big group of you.
Is it Duck Goose or Heads Down Thumbs Up? Is it the same thing?
No. Do you not know what Heads Down Thumbs? So heads down thumbs up is where you put your thing
and then if someone selects you put your thumb down. This is duck duck goose. And you have to guess who
it was that thumbed you in the arsehole. So you know how duck duck goose you like? Duck duck. And
if they say goose you need to run around. Chase them yeah. So. But if they sit down before you
then you've got to do the ducking and the goosing yeah and so duck duck duck it comes around to anxiety
of wondering whether you were gonna be goose honestly I almost laid an egg yeah
child's not for games today we're gonna play duck duck goose at bingo's like I'm gonna be playing
duck duck goose eating that Christmas dinner you know I'm gonna be playing duck duck goose eating that Christmas dinner. You know what I'm saying?
to duck duck goose
So the I get goose you're joking and so instead of
You are going to die today
You are joking me
So I get... I get goose...
I get goose!
I get goose and instead of getting up and chasing...
The goose is loose!
Instead of standing up and chasing the person that goose me, I thought if I get goose and
I'm quick enough, I can just like touch him before I even get up because you just got a tag him
Yeah, so as I get goose and I kind of like like go to get him the person who's just kneeling next to me
I just punch them in the head
I wasn't mine. It was mine friend. Oh
Yeah, but I was a mom. Yeah, but I was ten and they were four
So it just doesn't bode well
I was 10 and they were four. So it just doesn't bode well.
Do you know what?
At least it wasn't mine.
And I said mine, if anyone gives you trouble,
fuck, what happened to that kid?
I actually do think writers told this story before.
I don't think I remember that.
Well, you don't remember that I'm six foot either.
So if I could maybe it's a memory game today.
I don't remember lies.
You know, the other day when I met the CWA ladies, they go,
how could we forget?
They go, oh, and this is your lovely partner.
And I said, oh, well, this is my boyfriend, like not who I do the
podcast with and they go, oh, yeah, yeah, no, I know that that's not Ryan.
Then they got one thing in common.
Maybe height is about it.
And Chor's went, Pfft. Oh.
Oh.
Rinsed ya with the old sluts from the CWA.
Yeah.
I'm getting a lot of sad here.
That I actually wish-
Do you think Torb and I are closer in height
of human size or penises?
Um. Like as a ratio, what's closer? Do you think Toad and I are closer in height of human size or penises? Um...
Like as a ratio what's closer?
Well his is...
Bigger both.
Yeah that's what I mean but like am I closer to him in height or...
What do you call it?
Probably closer girth.
No.
That's really upsetting.
What's the word you say? He's got a real...
He's got a slayer on him. And that's not what the book comes. I think I just say that to
you. No, so when the girl from the CWA goes, oh,
they're pretty similar. And then... And I go, nah, the child's got a real fucking
slayer on him. And then Cassarole goes, yeah, they've got
a couple of Slayers.
Cassarole!
Yeah, they've both got Slayers on them.
And then Cassarole goes, check out the Slayer on my ****.
So 12-6-3, I'm 6-1 on a good day.
Sorry.
I've got to...
Love you.
Oh, I just said my love to see it and it's not for today.
No, I don't think mine is either.
I've got to love to see it, yeah.
This is actually, well actually no, mine's good.
Do you want to go first then?
Okay.
You go first and then I'll bring it back around with Hayley.
I've just texted it to you,
Charles you might need to show Sophie.
That is for today.
My love to see it is people being reminded
to always wash their hands
because it's a hygienic world and if you're not watching on YouTube I'll put it in the
Facebook group but basically what could you want to just do you want to describe that one Tony or?
I don't really know what I'm looking at because how does a cock in an asshole remind you to wash
your hands? So I think the cock is supposed to be the tap of the sink.
Oh!
And the asshole is the drain.
And the cheeks is the sink bowl.
The asshole is the drain.
And I've always said that.
The drain.
And the hands are the hands,
but they're doing something else.
It's basically a soap dispenser that says, this is how you should wash your hands. And I don't think they've thought that through.
Or maybe they have.
Like a wee the fucked up ones that we see the asshole in the car.
Oh no, that's just what Tony calls a Saturday night.
But a wee the problem, you know?
I don't think so.
I think that's on them.
I've got a love to see here from Hayley, send this through on Patreon.
Tony and Ryan, I had to tell you this
because I assume you're both Hawthorne Football Club members.
Fans.
Hayley said me too.
Smug noise.
If you're a member of the Hawthorne Football Club,
which sounds great, you get discounted movie tickets. She said it's sometimes like 40%
off and she went to the Palace Cinemas for $15.
Get the fuck out.
Right. If you Google Hawthorn membership discounted movie tickets, the link should come up, I
guess, if you're logged in.
As a member.
So we can't do that.
But.
You also get cheap KO.
That's good actually.
A lot cheaper, yeah.
Because, I mean, obviously I want to be a member, but both years I've looked, it's sold out
before I've been able to get a membership.
The stadiums are big enough for all us Hawks fans.
Maybe we should support the Western Bulldogs instead.
Or the Fremantle Dockers.
Yeah, Melbourne edition.
Member seven and eight.
Nah, but like-
It's funny because as if there'd be six.
But I've lost it, genuinely.
But even though it is, I want to be a member anyway,
that's also a great additional reason.
Yes.
Like, cause imagine that you're
fucking slinging movie tickets for 15 bucks.
You're making money.
Human dollars.
Thanks for letting us know that, Hayley.
That will, I have to, maybe what we should do is like
go on the wait list.
So then we're the first ones that get a spot because yeah,
two years in a row, I've tried to join and yeah, unless you join the top top tier and it's like
So expensive. Yeah, the top I think the top one
The one that I wanted to join was like the you get a reserved seat
Yeah, because like that feels so fun and you sit with the same people every time or whatever
It's I didn't realize how extensive it was. It's crazy.
Yeah, it's cursed.
Love you so much. Thank you so much for watching our first new type of week.
Very, very fun.
Welcome to a new era.
New era and tomorrow, if you want to watch on YouTube, there'll be a reaction video.
Yeah.
We would post them on Sunday. Like, so it's the same thing, different day.
Yep.
Same shit, different day.
Am I right?
We've always said that.
But thank you so much for joining us for the week.
And we'll see you either cooking at my house
or at Bingo Loco in a few weeks.
So.
Put your bets on what we end up doing.
Love you.
Bye.
Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.
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