Toni and Ryan - The Nudie Truth About Orange Juice

Episode Date: March 2, 2026

Ryan as a little kid - CONFESSIONS - Little punk update - LOVE YA!!!!Sign up to Patreon Here - www.patreon.com/ToniandRyanFAQ and T&C's PODCASTAWAY - www.toniandryan.com.au/podcastawayVideo for this EP is available on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Nudy juice. Yeah. They... That is so fucking smart. But just so simple. I would not... Like, of course they do. That is why I do not run a business.

Let's get nudie on the phone. I want to congratulate them for that. I'm Caitlin from Camloops Canada. Hi, I'm Josh from Brisbane, Australia. Hi, I'm Stephanie from a file at Tennessee. I approve this podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan.

This is Dr. Author. selling Dr. author, Tony Lodge. I do my best. Hello, Ryan, you are wonderful. And Mr. Cowbell was absolutely wrong

for what he said about you. Thank you. He was wrong. My Year 11 English teacher who laughed in my face when I said I wanted to go to university. Yeah, and we heard from Ryan's mum yesterday,

and she confirmed that Ryan was very cross when he said that. And that's fucking true. Yeah, I would be too. I'll let him know. So did she, actually.

Your mum would fucking go to battle. A fucking new one of those. Was it? Hell yeah. Parent teacher. Because he said that's why he's failing at school. And mum said he's doing well in every other subject except yours. So what are you doing wrong?

What did that teach? English. Oh. Same from a fucking mile away. Those English teachers. Think they're better than everyone. Lit. More like fucking shit.

Seems like someone could have done better at English. I did English lit. I didn't even do. I did like. So true. Yeah. Although does it make sense? to you now that knowing that English wasn't my best subject.

Yeah, but it sounds like it's Mr Cowbell's fault. Yeah, but then I had a few English ones and there are always English ones, you know what I mean? Yeah. Because I also couldn't read. So then obviously they go, well, we're going to talk about the book and I go, well, I don't know what you're talking about. So instead, I'm just going to have fun.

And that's the birthplace of kids acting out. It's being a tricky dicky. Being a tricky dicky. But I also, I think, though, that there is a difference between like, I didn't really understand it. so I'm going to sit quietly and I didn't do it so I'm going to fucking. I'm going to keep myself entertained. Yeah.

What I'm going to do? Sit here for a few hours? Yeah. That's what I did in mass. Just sat there by myself. Watch it happen. Yeah. And enjoy it occurring around me.

One thing I do regret and feel bad about, and I still think about it sometimes and go, oh, geez, it wasn't my best day. Oh. Tell us. I was throwing a pen into the ceiling fan because I was like, I reckon I can lob that into the fan. The fan will hear. it and get it out the window. Like, wouldn't that be an amazing trick shot?

Love it up, into the fan, straight out the window. Wouldn't that be great? So this one day, I throw the pen up into the fan, and instead of the fan hitting the pen out the window, it like cuts, like, slices it and just sends red ink over these three girls sitting by the window. Because it broke the pen. Like the fan split the pen and just like was spirting blood.

Or red ink, as it were, on this day. And it like got on their clothes and stuff and like, yeah. Yeah. And I was like, I didn't really think of that. I was just aiming for the window. Do you know what sometimes I forget that you're a boy? Like that is just such a boy thing to do. Why, what would you aim for from the fan?

I just, there's just no world where I would do that. or even like if I thought even if like the intrusive thought had crossed my mind which they do sometimes I go oh my god well I would obviously like I can control myself do you know what I mean like I just don't have to act out every thought that I have I think what we've learned the difference between you and I is a fuck how long have you got a deep curiosity yeah I'm so curious to know yeah if I could in fact get this piece out the window if I throw it into the fan. Yeah.

And there's really only one way to find out. Yeah, that's true. And what am I going to do? I'm not debating that. Leave the room not knowing the answer to that question. Yeah, I guess. Also, you say that you forget I'm a boy, but you do cool boy shit. Watch this.

That was quite a good one, actually. Tony and I have been daffing it up. Yeah, we're trying to practice so that people think we're cool. How's it going? Comment below. Oh, do you want to hear something real cool? Yeah, always. What a stupid fucking question.

I want you to say the word sausages. Sausages. Now I want you to say sausages. Sausy jizz. Same thing. And I love when your sausage makes some sausages. I'll never say the word sausages again. I'm going to say saucy jizz every time and I don't think people will notice.

Probably not. Yeah. But it sounds like you're doing the accent work. Sausages. Yeah. Like, sounds like you're doing like this weird British out there. Can I just get a sausages?

Which you'll be familiar with when we go to our hens party. My hands party. The hens party. The Hens party of 2026. Yeah. Any sealing fans at the Troxie? Oh, yeah, I'm a big fan of ceilings. I got a confession here from a...

Do you get it? Because that's where they're attached to. No, we're like, ceiling fans. Like, yeah, I'm a fan of ceilings. because that's where they're attached to. Like, because if you're a fan of something, it's like, yeah, I'm, oh, I'm such a big fan. Like, I'm a big fan of Youngblood. And you said, any stealing fans?

Because they're attached to the roof. Like any fans of ceilings? Yeah. You're doing a bit. I don't like it. No, I, I get it. No, I don't think you do. Mr. Pell was right.

Me bucket boss. I take back everything I said about Mr. Cowbell. Confession from a very unlucky lesbian. And you can submit these at tony and ryan.com. anonymous. I was sitting in class one day. And I got spotted with reading. I'll never forget the look on their faces when they'd realize they'd been covered in the

fuck. It probably stained their clothes. It did. I had to wash them and it was like a big like or pay for the dry cleaning or some book. Like yeah, it was fuck. Did you get in, like, a detention for that or something? Yeah. Well, because I remember I was in the offer like, yeah, yeah.

Oh, you got sent to the office. Well, because then there was like, well, what are we going to do about these shirts. Yeah. But will you, in the moment, okay, sorry, let's go back. In the moment, were you like,

oh my God, I'm so fucking sorry. I think everyone who's been like a silly billy for lack of a better, like you kind of go, oh,

I'm bored and I'm being an idiot, but it's sort of like consequence free, victimless crime. But there's that moment where you go, oh, this has actually affected someone else now and you kind of have that grounded moment of

oh I didn't think that's right I really didn't think that was going to happen I'm really I'm not trying to get in anyone else's way I'm just trying to keep myself busy kind of as dumb as it is that kind of like oh now I have fuck sorry yeah that and that tone is exactly it I've heard you do it yeah because you go not that many times but a couple but no but it's that like yeah Yeah, you didn't intend it, but you've done it and it's happened and you did it. Yeah. And you just like, fuck. Yeah.

And so I think that really brings you back and you're like, fuck. That is the difference though between doing that and being like, oh, well, fuck you because I was, you know. Yeah. Like that, you know, that's fucking. I don't think I was a. It's changed. Just an idiot. Take that back.

Take that back. Take that back. Now, I redact that. Sorry. I do redact that. Do we need the horse? We need the horse. We need the horse.

picture just for a second. Is it here? Yeah, it's in your drawer. Do we need a Twix bar? I would eat a Twix bar. I know, I've just got the Julia Roberts wig. Oh no, here we go. What is that pubs? Dr. Dick Jop.

Is that just a whole bunch of pubs? What is that? Oh. Don't question what's in the draw, man. Yeah, sorry. Okay. I'm wearing the same outfit. That's amazing.

I probably am, too. I only own three t-shirts. I'm wearing the same thing. Get our jeans and a t-shirt. Oh, shocker from Tony and Ryan today. Really pulling out all fucking stop. Confession from a very unlikely one. Hey, love you.

Love you. Touch my foot with your foot. Oh, Nike and Adidas coming together at once. A confession from a sad lesbian. If I didn't pop a calf playing pickleball yesterday. Is this your rough leg? I won't know until I stand up. Okay

So I can sit like this all day Same On my 21st birthday Hang on Charles Can you just get up for a second And between our feet Could you place the horse photo

For those of you playing along the home Charles is going under our legs Tony can you just confirm Oh sorry my leg is about It's pretty high in the air Yours is pretty high in the air but our feet is what's keeping them together. All right, so I'm just going to do a little bit of it.

Oh, that's wonderful. I should have double-sided. Now we can see each other and the horse photo. Is that in that camera? It's in my. That's great. Yeah. The unlucky lesbian.

On my 21st birthday, I got the flu, an STD scare, a breakup threat, and the death of a family member. This sounds horrible, but settle in for one of the great. puns. Which doesn't that make everything? I think you, when you hear it, you're going to go, what a good shit. What a good pun. I woke up crook as a dog, fever, spewing the lot, and I was supposed to have my

21st birthday that night. Oh. My girlfriend was also feeling off, so she goes to the doctor, and the doctor tells my girlfriend that she's got herpes. Fuck off. She's never been with anyone else before, so she's convinced. that I gave it to her. And you, I mean, naturally, you'd be like, hey, like, we've been fucking for a bit, like.

She spirals and runs back to her mum's house. And I'm laying there sweating, terrified she's about to dump me, all while still trying to pull myself together for my 21st that night. And she's just found out she's probably got herpes as well. And then her mom walks in and goes, which one's herpes? Like, what do you get? Is that like the lump? Like the little pimples?

no is that gone around is herpes is a cold sore isn't it but on your puss what yeah yeah oh yeah like little pimples oh yes I see where you get pimples yeah beep beep beep so you get it on your push

and your hands bumps and fluid filled blisters fuck that would be rough ass I'm so sorry can you put that back up I don't know if we can show that oh yeah on YouTube I just wanted to say that the diagram is a hot as fuck bod dog of those boobs

That's that's good boobs Yep Anyway Takes a little bit of the shine off That it's got all these arrows to the herpes Yeah sorry Anyway So all this information

I'm trying to process I'm a mess And mum walks in With the phone and goes Grandpa's died Why are you laughing He had herpes He died from herpes

Can you die from herpes I bet someone has. So true. Or herpes related complications. Rarely fatal. Oh, that's good news. Rarely doesn't mean not. No, but rarely is, I think you're right.

It leads to other things. It's my 21st birthday. I'm violently ill, possibly herpick-thick-thick. Herpick-tip? Hirped up. Hirped up. So I'm 21, violently ill, possibly herped up. girlfriend's missing in action

Grandpa's dead What a terrible day I bet it was a Monday My best friend calls me And I'm sobbing And I just tallow everything Oh and all of that

Just flowing out at once Yeah How do we think that sounded Oh So Jess has herpes I think she's gonna break up And me a fake So the best friend goes

Herpy birthday And doesn't that friend Just really know How to bring you back to earth That's amazing You would do that for me. I would do that for you. I would hear your worries and trivialize them.

Yeah. Because I love you so fucking much. Yeah. I would. How's your leg going? I love it. How's your hammy? I'm fine.

Same. I've got pretty flexible hamstrings though. What? Anyways, my girlfriend didn't dump me. Oh, hot. Cool. She didn't have herpes. It was just like a scare or a false alarm.

Oh, well, that doctor needs to be put in prison. Years later, that girlfriend is now my wife. Everything worked out, perfect except Grandpa's still dead. You know who else doesn't have herpes? Charles! How do we know that? No, you just did a test the other day? Did you?

I just tested my blood and they just tested everything. And they go, Charles, how many sexual partners have you had recently? And he goes, uh, he goes, write them on this form and he goes, there's not enough boxes to write the next. Number. Two, and the guy goes, if you have to think about it, let's just do it.

Charles. That was the hot take from yesterday. Hi, I'm Josh from Brisbane, Australia. Hi, I'm Stephanie from a fellow at Tennessee. I'm Keelan from Camloops and you're listening to Tony Ryan. So now we're back from the break. Our legs still up. Should we, what are we thinking?

Do we want a D-leg? Or are we enjoying this? I think I want to delay because my feet are losing blood. My toes are tingling. I'm about to perform a manoeuvre so extreme, you will not believe it. Are we going to find out, we should have done this three weeks ago because it turns out this maneuver could have won gold on the ice. Oh, probably.

Are you ready for this? Yeah. On the counter at the, I'm going to go like do a three, two, one. Ah, ah. And you're... What? Count Dracula. I'm going to do a 3-2-1.

Do you mean the count? Count Dracula is just... That is I. No, he counted not the alphabet, you fuck face. That would be the alpha. That would be the alpha Dracula. That is not I. I am count Dracula.

Ha-ha-ha-ha. I'm going to do a 3-2-1. A three. And you're going to put your leg down. Are you ready? Okay. Three. Two.

One. I was trying to catch the horse fodder. I can see where you were going, but that couldn't have worked out worse. It was terrible. Yeah. And I feel like we're disrespecting the horse photo now. Yeah, no, just leaving it there on the ground.

Beautiful stuff. All right. We're going to, yeah, leave it out because we're going to need it after this. But first, a few shout-outs to a few of our champion tarpers. over at our Patreon who we absolutely love Couldn't make the show without you. TL Crips, good on your TL. Lawn sausage.

Lawn sausage is more like. Katie Barnes, good on you, Katie. Bree Dutch Barnes. Do you reckon they know each other? I can sisters. I'll do Blay Barnes. Katie and Bree. That's a cute.

Like if you had two daughters. Katie and Bree. Like that's cute. Well, one of them's going to be a psycho. It's not going to be Katie. We don't know if it's brown. It might be brand. or Bree.

Braise, man. There are... It might just be Bray like the cheese. They're a kind. Rachel Borden. Good on you, Rachel. Candice Wilson. Beck Winter.

Beck Summer. Mike and Haley W. Good on you. Thank you very much for being part of our Patreon. Is it from Paramol? Haley Williams. Yeah, maybe.

I used to think it was so cool that Haley Williams Tumblr was Yel-Yar Williams. I think actually her Instagram is still that. Yel-Gar, like Haley backwards. And I was just like, oh, rock on, dude. You know, that's so cool.

Was it like Haley was taken and that was, you know? Or maybe. I mean, Haley Williams sounds like a pretty like normal. Yeah. Yeah. Last week, we, I shared a story about how at my sister's house, I convinced her to get a ring doorbell. I told her it would be the best thing ever.

And now she's in a prank war with some kids at a local school because they keep walking past on their way home from school. They like get off the bus somewhere and then they walk past. and ring the doorbell. And we discussed some ways that maybe we could get back at these little parks. I got worked up. We said that we could get a water pistol full of water. And then we talked about a water pistol full of tuna oil.

Which Ryan really had ready to go. And now that we've learned that you're a boy, I feel like that makes more sense. What would you do? Well, another one of your suggestions was rubbing dogs. dog poo on the doorbell so that then when he rang the dogbell he would have dog poo. Dog poo on his sandwich. He's pretty funny. Hey, poo hands.

How do you like them pranks? It's pretty funny. Who's the fucking funny one now, huh? And so whilst all of these suggestions were wonderful and I appreciated everybody getting amongst it, all the Tarpers also did the screenshot at 324 or whatever we said last week. But I spoke to Libby. and I was like, I got you into this mess.

I can get you out. Okay. If there's one thing that I can do, and because I wasn't at Mr. Cowbell's class. Hang on. The one thing you can do? If there's one thing I can do, it's right.

Oh. I can write. Okay. I can write the hell out of a book. Best selling author. I can write the hell out of a love note. You've gotten a few of those. Have I?

Oh, yeah. I don't get enough. I deserve more. you know what? After this, I'm going to handwrite your love note. Thank you. And I can write the hell out of an email. And I said to Lib, I was like, fuck, don't you worry, girlfriend. I reckon I've got the perfect thing.

So we decided that instead of the water pistol full of tuna and the dog poo on the doorbell or Charles hiding in his car out the front, we decided an email is we're going to fight with words. Can I rephrase? Yes. Instead of the fun ideas, we did the boring one. No, this is the grown-up version. That is what a boring version would say. I wrote this email for Libby to send to this kid's school.

Am I reading it? Yes, I've printed it out for you. It's in very big font because Charles thinks you're 75 years old. So this is the email that I wrote. I already hate it. No, it's really, I think it's really good. set the correct tone. No, I think it does

because it's not the fucking like whoever is running the school's like fucking emails. I don't know, the secretary or the registrar or whatever. It's not their fault. Let me teach you something about how we fight in the streets. No, I don't fight in the streets

just because I'm in a right posse now. Doesn't mean that I fight in the streets. I'm still a lady in the email sheets. In the Google sheets. You know how in here? Freaking the Google sheets. You know how? in like action films when like people die and stuff

there's always just like collateral damage yeah and then there's someone writing an email who doesn't die and that's me no but like collateral damage the registrar at the school is collateral damage is that what you're applying? Well sometimes you know accomplices indirectly some people deserve it some don't but when you go to war

that's true got to crack a few eggs to make an omelet you know absolutely and I think I think this is pretty, I want you to read it. Hi there, I hope this email finds you well. No, you don't. Pleasant start. Pleasant start. But you don't hope it finds them well. I hope it finds the receptionist or the secretary or whatever.

The queen of the school. I hope it finds them well. I live locally in the school area and over the past week, two of your students have wrung my gate intercom several times per day as they walk home from school. Imagine. Set in the time. It's been disruptive to our lives. It has.

Their dog goes berserk every time. Unbeknownst to the students in question. Unbeknownst. Our doorbells records. I have attached very clear screenshots and videos of these events. It sounds like you're in court. Yeah, I've wanted to make a secure water type case. The evidence was going to back us up anyway.

But I wanted to just be clear. Yeah, but that's why in court, you're trying to prove who's right and who's wrong. Yeah. In the streets, you're trying to get revenge. No, no, no, but I will. I hope you take this seriously, as I'm sure it's not the kind of citizen your school would wish to produce. I'm sure it's not. Okay, can I...

I'm sure it's not. Please advise with how you plan to deal with this issue. I assume it will include identifying the children in question and speaking with their parents. Oh! Can I... I bet it does. Let me have a crack at it. Can I just do a few, like, my interpretation?

Yeah, sure. Or like, interpret to, oh, we're the interpreter. Well, optional upgrades. This is written for the courtroom. And it's great. It is great. Thank you. This is how we say things in the street.

Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to hear the mean boy Ryan from English class version. Yo, dog, why are you hitting my bell? Sorry. Hi there. I hope this finds the school that raises those little punks, because I've got a beef. I've got a beast.

I've got a beast. What the fuck are you teaching these kids? Does Mr Cowbell work there? Obviously not being a local, isn't one of them. Thought I'd throw you this email before I start throwing hands. The thing, the tricky bit is, is that it's actually not their responsibility. No, well. So that's why.

you need to make it their responsibility by threatening shit. No, but I think that like... I run a very successful podcast. No, but it's not me. And would hate to out you publicly as being unable to raise respectful people in our community. Well, if you think about it, the sophisticated way of saying that, is that last... I would move back to Rolling Stone. True. I would have lived on Sophie's side of reservoir.

Yeah. That's not me. But, you know, if... that's what I want to deal with. I think that though I have said that... Please advise with how you plan to deal with it. Mm-mm. What are you going to do about it?

Dick? Oh. Oh. I think that the email though, I think it's good. And I think that she should send it. I reckon it really gets the point across. I think it's like...

I think it's airtight. It's been disruptive to our lives. Mm-mm. It's fucked. It's pissing me off. Being pissed off is a disruption. Who are you more? Imagine you work at the front desk at the school.

Yeah. So put yourself in those. Yeah, yeah. Oh my God. Can you believe that such and such hate my banana in the staff room? They're always leaving their cups in the thing. Did you know, we did a school fundraiser like a fun, you know, every time you run a lap like your uncle's going to put it in.

a dollar and you know. Oh yeah, yeah. And we raised money for air conditioning for the staff room. Fuck. I'll write them an email if you are. Please. Yeah. All right.

Imagine you're at the front desk. Yeah. What's going to. No. No, no, no, no. No, we're not accepting new students at the moment. What's going to spring you into action and want to like conclude an issue? A beautiful, well-constructed email that's concise to the point and has receipts.

and that's exactly what that is. Yeah, but so this person is so nice, I'm not afraid of them. No, but they don't need to be afraid of me. They do, because that's what springs you into action. No, no, no, no, no. She goes, oh, she looks nice. I'll get onto that later.

No, no, no, no, no. Because do you remember the, like when we were talking about how, like, at the car wash and how you were like, oh, Bridget went back there and was like, hey, just wondering about thing and then the guy was really nice because both of them were chill this is my version of that because after that happened i was like you're right you don't have to be a dick i just have to go hate like this thing's going on and i'm very invested i don't have a lot going on my own life

i think that's like the underlying issue with a lot of these like local not this one in particular this is genuinely fucked but like you know you used to read the old up they're like neighbor dramas and shit yeah and you just go no i'm not i'm fucking trimming their tree anymore fucking and sometimes you just like some people just need a fucking hobby but but also if in the beginning you went hey like do you want me to trim that tree yeah yeah and they went and they said yeah no don't worry about it or actually that would be great because otherwise i have to go buy a fucking whippoor snipper i don't know what you'd need but probably bosh sells it though in their wonderful ecosystem one thing i'm concerned about here yeah not here i would like to hear

you're a genuine question. And I think probably Charles feels the same way. Oh. I think a lot of tarpas feel the same way. Oh. Is if this email, okay, let's play it out. Yep. They get the email.

They look at the photo and they go, oh, that's little fucking Carl. Oh, bloody Carl. Yeah. Let's, we'll mess. Carl, did you know that? Carl, what are you doing, Mark? Fucking put your socks up, Mark. Yeah.

And then he goes, oh, shit. I didn't realize it was ring doorbell. How embarrassing? And then he stops doing it. Sure. That's probably how it's going to play out. Sure. So if that is in fact what happens.

Yeah. Why is their dog shit on the button? Well, no. Why are we shooting? When do we shoot the oil? No, so I totally hear what you're saying. So this email. When do we hide in the bushes?

This email actually is in lieu of those things. Yeah, so I think that's the issue. That's your issue. Yeah. Your issue is that you want to shoot someone with a little tuna can. Yeah. Just do that with Charles downstairs. Oh,

it'll be too smelly down there. We'll do that at the Oval then. Go run around the Oval. Can we just go for a little run on the Oval? Yeah, we'll go run around the Oval. That's fine. I'll take you guys to the Oval after this. Because...

But this is in lieu of shooting kids with water pistol from the bush. I reckon people are going to be more excited about shooting tunicans than they are going, oh, and they reply to the email and they've worked it out. I think that would be a wonderful. outcome for you and your family yeah but this is a team sports sweetheart yeah okay what about us yep we want to throw tuna oil at kids and stuff why don't you see there could be some pee in the water balloons that we throw um we could do that with each other yeah at the ovals oh I can't throw that it meant it's disgusting.

Well, there you go. If you don't want it, then you can't do it. Oh. That's just life, isn't it? Fast me my pants. That's just life, isn't it? Charles, turn the fan on. He's acting out.

He's not getting his way. He's bored. He wants to do something. I think that the email is quite good. Yeah, but that goes, that email is harder than I would normally go. And I think because it's not coming from me. Like, so I get to be like the best version of myself. What was the line that you undenado on the most?

or the words. I think that please advise how you plan to deal with this. Because they could go out of school hours not our problem. Totally.

Totally. In which case like I would fully respect. Yeah, I'd go straight to the Woolworth up and start buying tuna cans. Yeah. And just, you know,

fucking load up and earth bullets. I feel like just the PS our alternative solution is this. Oh, do I leave a PS off? It says, P.S.

A guy from work wants Shoot water pistols at the kids. Let me know what you reckon, loll. Yeah. Do you reckon he'd hate that? If so, awesome. Yeah.

Does he like water? Ha ha. Random question? No, because like... There's not going to be any water in that one, you know what I mean? Oh, I see what you're saying. What, there's water in the blue? Do you know how you can get tuna in spring water?

Isn't that the worst thing you've ever had in your life? Like, literally give me the oil. What? Take your water and piss it into your own dick. I want... The oil. Tuna and spring water tastes terrible. I think I just like the taste of the oil than the tuna.

Keep the tuna. I'll just have the oil. Do you know what? I don't mind, though. Tuna in spring water and oil blend. That is nice. That's my favourite. Do you know what I don't like?

Tuna with the like flavoured, like the chili tuna. Oh, no, I love that. I don't like. Oh, the lemon pepper tuna. No, I'm going to season it at my own will. Oh, I. I see. That's up to me.

I can take that on. That's fine. But imagine... You don't worry yourself at the team at John West. That's okay. For what if I can take it on? You don't want them to have jobs.

Oh. One guy is the lemon cracker guy. What did you say? The one was lemon and crack pepper? Lemon and pepper. Yeah. That's one guy. Oh, that's his hard job.

No, he's on the streets. Oh. Probably ringing doorbells. Loving for work. Living for work. Yeah. Oh, well. I have a good run.

Yeah. But. Here's something, tell me if you think this is just hallo smart or just obvious and who gives a fuck. Okay. But I saw something the other day and I don't want to say I googled it, but I was like, it's just so clean and perfect. Hang on, you didn't Google it. No, I did.

Oh, yeah. So nudie juice. Yeah. I have three types of orange juice. Do you know what they are? Like orange and no pulp and extra pulp. exactly. Yeah.

So they're the three. It's like regular, no pulp, extra pulp. Yeah. They take the pulp out of the no pulp and just pop it into the, to make the double pulp.

That is so fucking smart. But just so simple. I would not. Oh my God. That is why I do not run a business. Oh. We've got to get more pulp for you guys. The answer to our problem.

It is pulp. But apparently. That is so smart. Apparently people wanted. Some people want. People are really just using their whole brain, eh? So apparently someone, they really want to, like, like people want no pulp.

So they're taking the pulp out. Do you know who wants no pulp? Pussies. Pulp-free orange juice is for fucking children. Oh, yeah, okay. Yeah. I love pulpy orange juice. Yeah.

I want to chew it. I want to chew my orange juice. So they remove all this pulp and then they're literally like, because getting rid of waste is actually a really expensive, annoying, time-consuming thing for manufacturing. So it's like, what are we going to do with all this pulp we've removed? And then some Tony Lodge-esque person comes in and goes, I actually fucking love pulp.

They probably said it in an email that was incredibly well written and came from their sister's email address. Probably. And then someone's like, instead of us getting rid of it, why don't we just chuck it in the normal ones and we'll call it double pulp and fucking we'll be out of here by 4 o'clock? That's absolutely. That is the best.

Isn't that like a really satisfying? It's so satisfying. So now I see him in a row and I go, oh, you fucking nailed that. You have nailed orange juice production. Yeah. Let's get nudie on the phone. I want to congratulate them for that.

What do we, how do we get through to nudie and let them know? 1,800 nudie juice. It probably is. Because they're experts in simplicity. That is, I want to let them know. I think that we should send some feedback. That is wonderful.

When I was at Swinburne University, we got a case study for this marketing subject I was doing. Yeah. And we had to make these things for nudie juice. Like nudie juice was like a local business. And they were like, hey. Are they from Melbourne? Yeah.

Oh, shit. I didn't know that. Yeah, Australia at least. But I'm pretty sure, yeah. And so they came down and they're like, so here's a few problems. Like anyone has any solutions. Like do your project on that and we'll come back and you can present them to us.

And do they use them if they're good? Yeah. Yeah. And so. Isn't it you that said about the poll? No, no, no. No. No.

No. No. presented this idea and they just went, no. They would have liked better if you put it in an email and send it from your sister's email address. They love that there. So I tell you what my idea was.

You didn't have the little bottles? Yeah. Was like a mixed six pack. That is a good idea. Yeah, so you kind of just get the empty six and then in the supermarket you go, oh yeah, I'll get an orange and two of the mangoes. Yeah.

And they're like, oh, logistically, yeah, I would scan the six pack and you wouldn't know what they took. so it's hard for restocking. Do you still want to call them and congratulate them? I shouldn't have said that. We should have ended on the high. That's a shame. They do have a 1-800 number.

Do they? Yeah. It's not 1-800-nudy, though. What is it? It's 1-800-466-834. Well, you let them know everyone, and they missed a golden opportunity in 2009 when Ryan John presented them.

Yeah, I think that the little six-packs are good idea, though. If I see one of those six-packs in six months-time, can you imagine how fucked off you would. Absolutely go fuck themselves. What would you do, take them to court? I could represent you. Yeah, how dare you sell your own juice any way you like? But that was my idea and I would like to collect what I'm due.

If they bring out a six-pack, I just want one. Yeah. And a firm handshake. I'll give you something firm. Don't shake it though. I'm married. Yeah, to me. That's amazing.

I love that pulp story. I'm so glad you did because can you see how utterly not funny it could be? I'm just imagining if the tables were turned and if I brought that in and how much you would ate and if I brought it in. That's ridiculous. What do you mean? Do you know what else I'm thinking about? That it was this episode today where we had our legs in the air? Was it?

That was today. I've got to you love to see it though and this is amazing. Please. This is from CMBT. Send this through on Patreon. Kumbut. Maybe. Best kind.

I listened to your top five names episode today. I'm just catching up on the pod. You know when you did board comedy and you did like the five top boys and girls' names? Board comedies back tomorrow, by the way, everyone. Oh, and when you mentioned how much you loved Pippa's name, it reminded me that my sister literally changed her cat's name because she loved it so much she used it for her son. So got the cat first. gave it a name and then when I actually love it we want the kid to be named that.

How do we feel about that? Well, let me tell you exactly what happened and then I think we'll all have an opinion. Okay. The cat's name was River and now my seven-year-old nephew is named River and the cat is called Susan. That's such a good name.

I'm going to, like imagine if you love the name, Tony. I know you're impartial. I hate it. But imagine you liked it and your parents loved it so much they gave it to someone else. Oh my God, yeah. That's great. I'm going to take that. We might use it somewhere else.

You're not really living up to the name, unfortunately. Well, my parents loved the name Tony so much that I was doomed either way because they didn't know if I was a boy or a girl and they locked in Tony either way. A Tony at our age is who's not Italian is crazy. It's crazy. I don't know where they got Tony from. And it's just the worst name. Were you conceived around the time when the Sopranos was big?

Oh, I don't know. I mean, I was pointing 93. It's probably around when it started, eh? Maybe. When does Svranos start? Yeah, maybe. So if I'm November 93, that's like... Yeah, its entire run was 1999 to 2007.

A bit early. Oh, so they were inspired by me, maybe. But... Yeah. So what... If you're a November, you're a Feb, aren't you? You're like a... a Valentine's Day.

Yeah. Yep. So I wonder if like there was some, I don't know. But yeah, so if I was a boy, so I'm Tony Louise. If I was a boy, I was going to be Tony Wesson. I think of Tony Larry. Wesson? Yeah.

What's Wesson? Well, I don't know. Sounds like a wet cloth. It does. It does sound like a wet cloth or like a mop brand. Yeah. Wet your wet cloth. Wesson.

Oh, isn't that upsetting? Yeah, but I was going to be Tony Wesson, which I think is cooler than Tony for a girl. I pulled out, Chuck us that Wesson, would you? Yeah. Should you be blessing for a Wesson? I'm guessing you want a Wesson. Yeah, so I was fucked out of the way,

but I think that the boy version is better. I don't. Tony Wesson? No. Tony Wesson Lodge. It's kind of like a powerful boy's name, I think. Do you reckon? Nah.

Oh, so I was just fucked out of the way. Sounds like someone who'd ring a fucking door bell like a fuck-ha. Sounds like someone who loves getting sprayed with tuna roll in the face. Amanda Clement. Hi, Amanda. In 2026, my husband and I decided our goal would be to go and like date more. Like, go on dates. Have cute dates together.

You know, we can go out or we can stay home and do something like specific or, you know, really make. But it's intentional. Yes, intentional. Yep. We've got two boys, which keeps us pretty busy. But on Wednesday nights, they go to church for a couple hours, so it's like our time to shine. Oh, nice.

Last night, we made some burgers, packed them into the car, and went through the automatic car wash. That's made me, Wesson. Our ones... Our one's not as fancy as the one Tony described, but it was still fun. There's nothing fancy about that one. It's just that it... Oh, there's the picture you painted.

It sounded like it was gold embroidered. It's for royalty. Yeah. And every tapper is. Is that royal music? That's one of the four seasons, isn't it? Valdi. That's what my string quartet plays at the front of my car wash.

If I can show me your string quartet. I'll lick your banjo string. Do we need to put our foot back up? Where are we? Yeah, we could. Yeah. I think. that there is a lot that I love about you

and one of them is that I get to spend so much time with you that's my love to see it. Not the other person. I know I already did cumbert and his cat named Susan but I just love you. Come but. C and BT and then I said come but maybe you didn't hear me. It was while we were doing the podcast.

This is actually really relaxing. It is. Doing both at the same time is probably easier. I feel like I'm giving birth. Same. This feels quite nice. I think I need a shit. I can see it.

Do you need a Wesson? We'll be back tomorrow for hump day. Oh, they're out of toilet paper. That's right. I got a Wesson here. Oh, I've kicked my ass coffee onto the ground. Oh, there's the cough. Oh, all right.

Sorry. A little cramp or something. Ooh. A little lump. Do you want me to fucking give that a bit of a one too? Or it's not ready for that? Well, let's find out. Yeah?

Do you want me do it now? Let's let them go. No, you go. Okay. It's it's here. Yeah, the car, a general calf area. But like, does it feel like a lump or something? Yeah, it's tight in there. Is that bad?

Like I'm just, oh. Bad. Just very aware. Oh. Bad? Oh. Too much. No, that's good.

I just like anything that involves you touching me. Like some gives you go up, moving you up. Does it actually feel like there's a lump or a knot or something? Yeah, it feels really tight, especially like, lacking that part. Yeah. Oh, that's where I'm from. Bye. You just talked yourself out of a sucked cock. I hope you like that. I'll be happy. You go tell your cock that it's about to not be sucked. Hey, just letting you know I'm not going to suck you now.