Toni and Ryan - The Problem With America

Episode Date: September 20, 2023

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Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. I'm the vice captain of the ship. Our captain, Dr. Author Tony Lodge is here. Hello. And we are calling- It's another accountant. Oh. Stephanie is in Ballarat. Now, why do I get suss about accountants? Is it just a myth or is it true that like only fans, models and strippers would just say accountant? Well, it was like a TikTok trend and it was like, oh, I just tell people I'm an accountant because it's so boring. They'll never ask me any follow-up questions. There's no follow-up questions. Yeah. Place your bets, everyone. Hello. Steph, it's Tony and Ryan. How are you doing? I'm good. How are you? Yeah, we're well, Steph.

Whereabouts are you? Your work? No, I'm sorting out kids to daycare first. Oh, okay. Yep. In that case, I was just, it said you're an accountant and I said, I wonder if you're a real accountant or if that's just the name you use to just. You know, like a TikTok accountant. Yeah, to hide the fact that you're a stripper and OnlyFans model.

But what, how would you. No, boring accountant. Oh, okay. That's okay. That's all right. We still like you. Yeah. We were just interested to know.

Steph, will you approve today's podcast? Of course. Legend. Hey, it's Steph from Ballarat and I approve this podcast. All right, coming up today as we are, what, about a month out from going to the US to meet a whole bunch of US tarpers. Last time we were chatting about it, Tony was potentially getting flapped about a work visa. Oh, yeah, which we have since quashed.

That's fine. We're not getting a work visa. We're just going on holidays. We're going on holiday. We're touring. When you come to a meet and greet, I expect you to say, Oh, fancy bumping into you guys here. Very unexpected for your holiday plans to cross.

Oh, my God. How are y'all here? Or something like that maybe would be happening. Was that a good voice? That's pretty racist and offensive. Is it? Yeah. Oh my god, you guys are here in America. That was like a Cali one. Cali, hot girl California. You guys are here in New York. Let's move on. Let's move on.

Sorry, everyone. I promise I'll try and get better. I've only got a month to perfect it. No, I would say don't. Don't. Okay. Doing better is not doing it. Okay.

That's a great note. And you know what? I respect feedback. Thank you. Now that we've got past our visa dilemma, which is not a dilemma, we're just going to break the law And be fucking It's not breaking the Viral heroes

No On border security No It's not breaking the law There's a new thing for Tony to get flapped about Which will probably also include border security again Well I mean depending on what's in there Did you pack this bag yourself?

No Pippa did Pippa did it Pippa's in there But first normal on us No, Pippa did. Pippa did it. Pippa's in there. But first, normal on us. People submit these to the Tony and Ryan Facebook group. So, just search for Tony and Ryan podcast on Facebook.

Maddie. Hi, Maddie. Going to the servo and looking and checking that you have 100% selected the correct fuel. Yep. Unlettered 91 91 sweet or good and then checking multiple times again whilst filling up to make sure because fuck imagine if you magically switch to diesel somehow normal completely normal i've never related to anyone more and maddie i would love to get your phone number so maybe we could talk about this privately and like start a support group and

maybe every time i stop to get fuel i could be like, Maddie, it's happening again. Like, I need to talk to you about this. Because every single time, and you know how they actually make it, like, idiot proof? Because, like, the diesel is- Don't use terms like that. Sorry. Just for your own sake.

For my own protection. Because the diesel is, like, always coloured. It's black. The thing is black. The nozzle's black. The handle's black. Like, everything. The unle The thing is black. The nozzle's black. The handle's black. Like, everything. The unleaded 98 is red.

The 91 is blue. The eco one is green. Like, you know that they're all different colours for a reason so that it's, like, easy to discern which thing you need to do. But every time I'm like, well, have I gone colourblind? Does all of a sudden the unleaded 98 look like diesel because my glasses are off and i'm fucking something's happened and the black's looking like the blue and the

blue is looking like the red and like i just don't trust myself so at all so whatever the color you use i mean the yellow or the red i'm guessing yeah you've got that in there then your car is black and then you just glance at the side of the door and go, it's black! Diesel! Ah, it's telling me it wants diesel! What happens if you put diesel into a not-diesel car? The engine shits itself and you have to get it flushed out. So you have to flush all the way through and it gets into the lines of the engine. And if you let it go for too long, it will fuck the car. Oh, so if you squirted a bit of diesel and went one and then just topped it up later just pretend nothing ever happened no no

no you would have to get that diesel flushed out interesting yeah new normal or not here it's from jemma rose hi jemma oh something's happened this could fucking let's just put pause on our us trip until we get to the end of this Because this may Might go into other areas No I mean like You might not want to go on the trip I'm already stressing about the luggage Do I need another thing to stress me Do we save Gemma's till after we get back

I just found out Americans don't put butter on their sandwiches Says Gemma Rose I know America has a lot of problems Americans don't put butter on their sandwiches, says Gemma Rose. I know America has a lot of problems, but surely this is right up there. Butter is the best part of the sandwich. If the sandwich doesn't have butter, you may as well throw that shit out. Butter in a sandwich, asks Gemma, normal or nah?

Normal. Yeah. I probably wouldn't, like I would never expect there to be butter on, like, a Subway or, like, a schnitzel roll from, like, an Italian deli or something. Wouldn't you? I probably wouldn't, but I would always put butter on, like, if I was having, like, a Vegemite sandwich or a peanut butter sandwich or a ham and cheese or something, I would always butter it. What about, like, a chicken and salad?

Yeah, I'd probably butter that. Yeah. I can't think of a time where butter would be not welcomed. You need a wet thing. Yeah. A sandwich needs a wet thing. You can't have a dry Sambo. If you've tried to like fucking stuff something dry, you know that's not fun.

Yeah, and you just end up just like a mess. Yeah. Shit everywhere. Shit everywhere. You need a lubricant. So what do they do? you just end up just like a mess. Yeah. Shit everywhere. Shit everywhere. You need a lubricant. So what do they do? Like, are they just using, like, putting mayonnaise in it or are they raw dogging it?

I think they're raw dogging it. It also keeps the sandwich together. Like, have you ever had, like, dry bread, then a bit of cheese and a bit of ham and dry bread? Oh, it just falls down. It just, like, it flaps open. Yeah. Whereas you need the butter to kind of, like.

She's doing hand gestures about flaps open and it's really. You know what I mean? You need to, like, flap it shut. It does keep... Butter in my... Sorry. Go on. Nah, you're right. But yeah, you need it to... The cohesiveness of the sandwich relies on the... It brings everything together. It does. I think if they were using like avocado or like mayonnaise or something, that would be okay. But no butter as a rule i think

fuck off nah let me tell you about a story from crystal oh hi crystal crystal went to a mostly empty public toilet there was just one person in there washing their hands when she walked in okay crystal says as soon as i walked into the cubicle it became clear that this was the one that the person had just shat in you could barely barely breathe, your eyes were stinging, and you really wanted to go to another stall instead of sitting on that warm seat. But Crystal asks, normal or nah? Staying in the hot, smelly stall as it would be so embarrassing and awkward for that one person to see you walk out of the cubicle they were just in

and then loop back around into the one next door. You know what I would do? What? Roll on the floor underneath. Army roll. Army roll under the divider so that the person didn't know and that you didn't upset them. Everyone's a winner except your disgusting piss clothes.

And I think that that's fine. Yeah. Especially if you're on your way home. Like if you were leaving the supermarket or whatever and then you're like, oh, I'll just do a quick wee before I go. Yeah. I do always feel bad like, you know, when there's like, say there's like three cubicles if you're at, like, the cinema

or the airport or whatever and there's a massive line and you have to poo. It's what the toilet's for. You've got to go. Yep, it is what it is. And, like, there's a massive line and you make eye contact with the person that goes straight in after you. No, look down.

Look away from them at all costs. But you kind of, like, walk out and you do the. We both just did the exact same face. You do the like white girl smile. Like, you know, because you're kind of meeting in the toilet and then you walk past to the thing and you go, fuck, it's rough in there. But there's no other option.

Like even if they wanted to walk back out, loop around or do the army roll underneath, there's no option. And you just go, fuck, I'm so sorry. And you can't go, give that a minute. Because there's so many people waiting. There's no option. First of all, do anything in your power to avoid eye contact. And if they're also doing anything in their power, it's pretty easy when both people don't want to look at each other for you to just fucking look around.

Yeah. It's fine. Or if someone just before you has done, like, a really bad one and you go, fuck, I've just got to do a wee. And you're in and out in two seconds. Yeah. But it still smells like last person's poo and you kind of want to be like, that wasn't me.

Someone else did that. Before I got- It was already like that. Yeah. Like, you kind of feel like you want to, like, protect your image a little bit. Do you think if- Which is so stupid, but- If you're in like a dickish confident mood, instead of doing the like, oh, give it a minute.

Yeah. You kind of just look at him and go, oh, good luck. Power move. Oh, my God. If you're about to walk in and someone goes, oh, good luck. I'd probably go, did you want to go before me? Like to the person behind me, I'd let someone else go. Oh, you look like you really need to go.

Hey, it's Steph from Ballarat and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout-out to a few of our champion tapions from the Patreon. Tapas, Tony and Ryan podcast. Thank you so much, Dustin Harris. Love to see it. Thank you. Kendra Nickerson. Put your knickers on. Ryan Blickley, Webb Cummings and Leah. Thank you so much, Dustin Harris. Love to see it. Thank you. Kendra Nickerson. Put your knickers on.

Ryan Blickley, Webb Cummings and Leah. Thank you so, so much. Say Webb Cummings? Yep. Is that my browser history? That is hilarious. Very, very funny. Yeah.

Tony and I are heading to the US. We're heading to America. America. I've never been. I'm so excited. Never been to Hollywood. Yep. It's late October, early November.

All the dates are in the Tony and Ryan Facebook group. Now, Kelly and Matt listened to this podcast, right? Hi, Kelly and Matt. And they wanted to get married and COVID happens. And not only does that fuck around with the actual wedding itself but it fucked around with their ability to earn money and pay for it because weddings are so expensive. But also even like the basic wedding is still you're paying

for all the stuff like- The legal bits and pieces. Yeah. And if you want to get family involved, you know, then you're paying for dinner for eight people instead of one. Yeah. So they're based in the US in, is it Maine? I think they're in Maine.

Somewhere on that side of the country. Yeah, far. And they've applied to the Fuck It Fund to help get this wedding happening. Because they want to say, fuck it, let's do it. Let's just get fucking married. Let's just do it. So, Kelly's on the line, but she thinks she's about to talk to Cam. Poor girl.

Yeah, I know. But let's bring her through now. And Kelly, it's Tony and Ryan. Hey, how you doing? Holy shit. Hi. Oh, my God. This is so exciting.

Exciting for us as well. Kelly, how are you? What are you up to? Well, I'm just talking to you, of course. I just got home from work not too long ago. Tell us about your supposed to have been wedding. We got engaged and then, you know, we were planning our wedding a little bit loosely, but we kind of, you know, we're looking at venues and everything and had this idea in our head of what we were going to do and then then COVID hit. So we kind of just like, decided, okay, well, I guess it's not

the time to get married, we're just not going to do it. And as things have gone on, you know, like, if we're not meant to get married, we're just not like we just, it's an excuse to party at this point. And then when your fuck it fund came up, we were like, well, that's like the perfect thing to, cause that's like, fuck it. We're just going to get married and let's just have fun and just do it. So why not in Vegas and just go? We have an offer and a deal, but there's something that we both need to agree to.

So first of all, we would absolutely love to help you guys out and like help make this happen for you because how fucking awesome would a Vegas wedding be? However. But speaking of how awesome a Vegas wedding would be, we'll help you out, but you have to let us come. Well, duh.

You have to let us come with you. We want to be there for the Elvis impersonator. We want to rent a dress five minutes before. So, Callie, do we have ourselves a deal? I approve. Absolutely. Tap VIP guests. Virtual handshake.

Honestly, I'm just really glad she went for the deal. Yeah. No deal. We'll get went for the deal. Yeah. Can you imagine? No deal. No. We'll get married on our own, thanks. Yeah. We'd love to get married, but I'm really not interested in that.

So, we'd rather just go without. That would have been so upsetting. Are you going to take a nice dress for the wedding? Because I'll have a t-shirt that looks like a tuxedo. Oh, that's fun. Thank you. Could I get a t-shirt dress that looks like a tuxedo? Like it goes, hits the knee.

Oh, no, we'll just get the same one. Oh, yeah. Matching tux tees. I mean, that would be easier to travel with. Yeah. Because I am having some anxiety about the luggage situation. You? Sorry.

That was so nasty. I know, I'm sorry. No. that was so nasty i know i'm sorry um no well i'm gonna need to just like brain dump with where i'm at because um i think that when i was stressed about the visa that like kept me busy for a couple of days yeah that's what i'm trying to do yeah and then so when i was like now that i'm no longer stressed about the visa because i'm like cool that's sorted out then i was stressed about the flights we've sorted that out and then like now I feel like I'm stressed about what I'm taking. So, someone messaged me and they were like, I'm just, like,

making sure that you've considered that the weather in all of the places you're going is quite different. Yeah. And I'm already stressed about the fact that in a month I have to go away for a month. That's a lot of clothes. You know, can I give you something that you'll fucking hate? Sure.

I saw this video of, like, this hot girl on Instagram. Oh, don't. And she's like, oh, we randomly decided to go to this tropical island tonight. And so she just grabs a backpack and throws five bikinis in it and just heads to the airport. One climate, though, isn't it? That's what I mean. I'm like, how annoyingly easy is your life?

Oh, like, literally. And the T-shirt you wear on the plane you can probably get a few wears out of that and that's fine. But I'm like really struggling because going somewhere for a few days you pick say what I would normally do if I'm going somewhere for three days I'd probably take enough pieces that could create like five outfits so that I didn't feel limited to being like well I've got three outfits for three days. I can't shit myself. I can't change my mind because I've got a certain amount of outfits.

But if it's a two-day trip, do you kind of go, I'll wear that day one, I'll wear that day two, but we can't go for day 27, I'll wear this. Right, because we're going to be doing washing like through the thing. Hang on. Are we? Yeah. We're going to have to. Do we have to like be doing washing like through the thing. So hang on. Are we? Yeah.

We're going to have to. Do we have to like schedule in washing days? Well, because otherwise we're going to have to wear our bras and knickers down to the fucking thing. But like, so say if we get to Atlanta, we've got to meet and greet that afternoon and then we leave straight away. Yeah. We can't just like put a load on. No. Because it won't have time to dry.

So do we need a schedule in washing days? I think so. We're going to have to do like GTL like they do on Jersey Shore. The other thing is, is that I feel like I am someone with many vibes. I agree. I don't always wear the same thing. I think sometimes I can look a bit more girly, a bit more sporty, a bit more whatever. Do I have to just pick one vibe to go to the US with

because then that's going to be easier to like chop and change between all my outfits? No, because I feel like day off walking around Hollywood, Tony, is a very different Tony to I'm in Toronto going to the studio to record the podcast. Like all the Tonys are going to the US. You need to take all the Tonys. All the Tonys with me.

Yeah. I need, like, all of the supplies for every Tony that there could possibly be. How many different Ryans are there? Three. Go on. So, you've got Sporty Ryan with that really cool Nike jacket that I really like. Yeah, you do like that. You've got Today's Ryan, which is like a shacket and a t-shirt, which is normally like podcast Ryan.

Yep. But then you've got, like, Hot Ryan that gets a bit dressed up if we're going out for dinner or something. And you'd expect to see him there? Well, I think there's probably going to be a point in the thing where we go, you know what, tonight we're going to go out for a nice dinner. Let me stop you right there. Okay. There's not going to be a point. There's going to be every single afternoon where we go, well, I'm obviously not cooking because I'm in a hotel. Oh, so i'm literally we're not even going to be able to cook where are we going to do our washing does the hotel do it do they have like a surely like

i guess you have to pay for it but do they have that facility they're like do we have to go to a laundromat because new york laundromat what do you? Why are you both so excited? That just feels like a TV show. I got a gym and washing machine in my apartment. My two-floor walk-up doesn't have a washing machine. You know that was fun. Meat cute. Cam's going to find a boyfriend in a laundromat. The meat packing district. No wonder it's so packed.

Cam will be packing some meat in that district. Yeah, he will be. I feel like the laundromat is just made for hookups. It's the sweetest story ever. You imagine your old New York grandparents being like, have we ever told you about when we met at the, sorry, they're ghosts. Yeah. They died five years ago, but please tell me now.

But, like, that they met at the New York laundromat and, like, she put lipstick in her washing bags and made everything red and he goes, do you want one of my T-shirts for the night? And, like, you know. You can leave it on the floor at my place. Yeah. Anyway, so all the vibes, which brings me back to the original question that I had,

but you have to know that journey before I can ask this question. Could I do the whole thing with carry-on only? Very anxious about getting my luggage lost. I am not a body type that can simply go into any shop and buy something off the rack but like i like not all shops sell my size and that is just my cross to bear that's fine yeah but like if i lost my luggage i think i would be genuinely fucked do i take all my skincare what if my luggage gets lost it is all quite all of it together is quite expensive do i take a hair dryer if i take all my skincare i can't then

take that carry on because to fly internationally you can't take like lots of bottles and stuff yeah there's one tony that you've forgotten about. Cool Fun Tony. No, no, no, no. It's a version of Cool Fun Tony. Yep. And it is Tourist Souvenirs Tony. I dare say we could go to America with carry-on luggage. Probably couldn't come home. We could not come home because where are you going to put your Statue of Liberty hat?

Because I'm definitely buying that. Where will you put your New York Knicks foam finger? Can you bring those home? You know what I'll do? Vac bag. I'll vac bag my foam finger and it'll be tiny. It'll be like those things you put in the oven and it makes sense. The foam finger would be, yeah, the size of a tiny marble.

It would be great. Yeah. And the vac bag, fuck, we should of a tiny marble. It would be great. Yeah. And the vac bag. Fuck, we should do a video just called Will It Vac Bag. Our body fits in a bag, but you have to ask people at Bunnies. So, we learned last week. So, do you see what I'm saying, though? No, I completely understand.

Did we talk about this recently? I never did carry-on luggage before I met you. We talked about this off the podcast because I was like, you reckon i could do that because i always put stuff under because then i don't have to worry about it in the airport and i can just be a bit more like you know backpack on the go you've just got your backpack and it's easy and then and then you introduce me to the like but what if they lose it and then when we arrive we can just go and i was like oh that's changed my life but now i feel like a month with carry-on. And keep in mind, we're a travelling economy and there's only so much room you can put your carry-on luggage. And if they crack it and it comes on the following flight and it doesn't fit.

Oh, and then you have to pay for it. Yeah, it's fucked. And you never know where it's going to be. Do you think that I, because I'm thinking also about buying Apple AirTags to put in, like, all my bags and stuff as well. That's probably not a bad idea, yeah. Which is probably, you can buy a pack of four for, like, $120. Really? And that would fit- That would do, like-

If you were taking a backpack and your luggage and- Like, you could put one in every bag that you were going to have and then, you know, that, like- If your bag gets stolen while you're trying to, like, be interesting in Central Park, like, it's going to turn up. Yeah. I feel like you're kidding yourself, considering the cold weather is like jackets and coats.

See, it's the weight. It's not just fitting in the bag. It's actually like, do you do the trip? But your puffer jacket, that would fill out your entire carry-on. Backpack. Backpack, puffer jacket. Yeah, no, probably. It's tiny.

It's like a crouton. You just pop that in. But does that mean you have to then carry a vacuum cleaner? Good point. Good point. And then, ironically, you need mean you have to then carry a vacuum cleaner? Good point. Good point. And then ironically, you need a carry-on bag for your vacuum cleaner. What if I just suck the air out? Oh, that's hurt.

Yeah. I don't know. I can't do that every day. I've seen your lungs collapse in front of me right now and I'm like, I don't recommend that. So, the thing is, is that I'm going to need fancy outfits. I'm going to need active wear. I'm going to need everyday clothes. I'm also going to need bathers and stuff for Hawaii.

Yeah. And Vegas and LA. Yeah. Like, so I'm going to need, like, hot clothes, cold clothes, like, moderate temperate clothes. So three suitcases? Well, how many do you get when you fly? Because I don't want to take two suitcases because that just feels so like the admin of having two.

Like, do I just do one massive suitcase? What about all your July crap that you bought? Yeah, no, no, no. So, I've got suitcases. Yeah. It's just like. What's the biggest one you've got? So, I've got the family like trunk one.

Like a Louis Vuitton trunk? It's not that fancy. It's just like plain black and i don't even think it's that big to be honest but it's like then how much weight can you have because i don't want to be paying because we're flying well it's not just flying there flying home no it's like 57 internal flight yeah so it's not just worrying about it once not paying for it once if it's over it's paying for it at every single turn you're. You know, like, so I'm really – should I buy some, like, luggage scales? You know how you can buy the, like, handle ones?

Because then you have to take the scales. No, you can buy, like, little handle ones and you pick your luggage up with it and it tells you, like, how heavy it is. Really? Yeah. So they're, like, built for travel. Innovation. Yeah.

I mean, things have come a long way. But I think – I don't hate that. I think – How much does that thing weigh? Well, like, not much. Just a little thing. But I think- I don't hate that. I think- How much does that thing weigh? Well, like, not much. Just a little thing. But that's a good point.

You can't- So, we've got to buy two. Yeah. So, that we can feel how heavy that is. If we buy one of those scales between the three of us, and then in the morning before we fly, I just go, can I borrow the scales? Whose room are they in? And then we all- Don't go into camera rooms.

There's a few bodies lying around. Oh, yeah. There's a fucking bit going on in there. I just- I'm really stressing about the luggage and it's a month away and I'm already like- Well, everyone, please let us know in the comments. And then-

If people- I feel like someone will have some great ideas. Yeah, because I think if people even had like an itemised list of like, oh, Toronto in November, you will need a woolen coat. I can't travel with a woolen fucking coat. Why not? Because I'm only going to need it in probably one or two places. And they're massive.

Like, you know, like a big overcoat. You can't travel without. We're going to be in New York in November, which I'm guessing is going to be freshish. Pretty fresh. Yeah. But if we're like walking around. Do other countries use the word fresh for cold or is that just us? Oh, I don't know.

Because when we go out to be a bit fresh, that means it's cold. It will be fresh, yeah. That means it'll be cold in our language. Oh, yeah. Nippy. What? Like a bit nippy. Like it's a bit nippy.

Do people say that? Yeah. Yeah, like it's nippy outside. Nippy. Is it called nippy because of like your nips go hard because it's so cold? I don't think so. I think that's why it's called nippy. Is it? Oh, I thought it was kind of like the, yeah, it called nippy because of like your nips go hard because it's so cold? I don't think so. I think that's why it's called nippy. Is it?

Oh, I thought it was kind of like the, yeah, it's nipping, like the cold's nipping at you, like it's getting there. Like your nipples are getting hard, yeah. Well, I mean, it does work. Sometimes I say, oh, I'm a bit nippy and then I like cover my boobs up. But anyway, I'm not nippy now. There's a video where you're very nippy on a reel. Is there?

Just one particular day and I was like, oof, Tony Lodge. Oh, you're welcome. I think it's so hot when nipples are hard. I think it is awesome. I think it looks hot as. Anyway. Should I get fake? I probably don't need fakes because I've got giant pink nips.

But should I get firm little nipple things to put under my T-shirt? You can get little nipple covers that make it look like your nipples are hard all the time. You can generally buy that. Or should we also take a fourth person on the tour like a little fluffer? A little tweaker. Yeah, maybe that would be good. No, Cam? Don't laugh and then ask for the service when we get it. Yeah, that's true. I'll find one in every city. Oh my God. I'm not paying for Cam to come anymore. Yeah, that's true. I'll find one in every city. Oh, my God. I'm not paying for Cam to come anymore.

Yeah. Oh, literally. Yeah. I've got to love to see it. And this is actually, I don't know if I'm about to cry, but this is one of the most proudest moments I've had in our little podcasting journey. Aw, it's my hair again. It's Tony's hair, Lesley.

Hang on. Oh, it's my hair again. It's Tony's hair. Strippers and the adult dance industry are being positively impacted by the Tony and Ryan podcast. Great. My stripping name is Mia. Mia. This message has come through.

I love that name. The other night I was booked to do a nude girl on girl dance with a girl I'd never met before. And it's a bit awkward at first. Oh, hot though. Well, I imagine if I was about to do a nude guy-on-guy dance with a bloke I'd never met before, I'd be a bit awkward at first. Yeah, you're definitely trying to break the ice beforehand. So backstage we're chatting and the crew was trying to figure out who sings the song Torn.

And this new girl yells out, Natalie Imbruglia. And everyone goes, yeah, that's it. All good, all good, all good. And then she kind of turns to me and goes, I only know that because of this podcast I listen to. And then I stared at her. I went, what? And then she goes, oh, my God, are you a tarpa as well?

No! We screamed and we hugged and we bonded, and it was the most fun job I've ever had. We were so in sync and it was so hot because I feel like because we were both tapas, it felt like we were old friends. So thanks to Tony and Ryan for my best dance ever and all the bank I made that night. You love to fucking see it. Does she need the link to the Patreon? No, she's all good.

Well, I know this is her. You'd love to see it. Yeah. I really don't want to sound like an old dirty guy, but I would also love to the Patreon. No, she's all good. Well, I know this is her. You'd love to see it. I really don't want to sound like an old dirty guy, but I would also love to see that. Well, I mean, two tapas getting it on. I wouldn't mind. Yeah. Is it less weird if we both go?

Nah, because it's for work. We're supporting fans of the podcast. Am I right in thinking this was submitted as a confession? Correct. That is such a great story. Send me your Instagram. Where do you work? That is such a great story. I also just love, because Torn by Natalie Imbruglia,

yes, I know it's a cover. Please don't send me that meme. I get it literally all the time. I can't deal with that. My inbox is full of people being like, did you know that Natalie Imbruglia Torn is a cover? Love it when people message. Because that is like my favourite song.

And so when I am torn about something and we have all started saying it, oh, I'm a bit Natalie Imbruglia about that. I love that people are learning from this podcast. Yep. It's an educational podcast. That is beautiful. You do love to see that. Would you love to see that?

Yeah. My love to see it is I'm getting into bread. Yeah. I want to getting into bread. Yeah. I want to start making bread. You're going to be a sourdough girl. I'm going to be a sourdough guy at the new house. I'm not going to start anything yet because I don't want to buy anything at this house that we currently live in.

But you were at my house the other day and you and Bridget were deep in sourdough chat, which warmed my heart. It's very wholesome, I think. It really is. Like a couple of ladies talking about their bread. Bridget's super into it anyway. And so because I've been Googling a lot, I'm getting a lot of sponsored sourdough things. And I got this sponsored page called Sourdough Geeks on Facebook. Delicious. And I think someone

actually shared this into the group, but I'd already seen it and it's so fucking funny. Someone was like, what is this thing thing called i want to get one made and it's like a um a sourdough mold so you bake it onto it and then it's like the um logo or words or graphic or whatever kind of it's like into the bread oh my god and they used this one as an example. And I'm going to show you it. And I don't know if you can make out what it says. Is it backwards? So it's backwards so that it comes up on the bread.

I can't quite read. What's it? Okay. So it says art is anal. But what they're going for. Please. What are they going for is the word artisanal, like small batch made, but because it's quite a small model.

So it's artisanal, but like broken up into three parts. But it literally says artisanal. Well, it is, first of all. And wine was art. Fart is is anal maybe that's what they meant fart isn't all um and someone said i want to make a custom one with my name but obviously not one that says art is anal yeah and this post has gone viral on the thing um and she said like i didn't realize it said it until I started reading the comments. Because she goes, oh, does anyone know where you can get these made?

And people are like, why does that say anal? Yeah. What's going on? But I love to see that. I thought that was so funny. Yep. Yeah. Why don't you get that one?

I think I have to. Yeah. I think I will see if I can find it and buy it. Because that's hilarious. What would you get? I would get Artisano. Yeah, but if you had to get something else. I'd probably get our logo, like our silhouettes.

Yep. Yep. Or like Tarp on the bottom. I'd love to see that. That's quite cool. And as I said to Tony when she was at my house the other day, her new house is a bread house. It is a bread house.

It is a homely bread house. It feels homely and I can just imagine walking in and being like, they've made sourdough this morning. You just know that something's just been baked. Yeah. It's that kind of house. It is that kind of house. It's a beautiful house.

That is stunning. Anyway, yeah, so I love to see that because do you remember when we did, it was like the Volkswagen Italia, but it was like Volkswagen Italia. Yeah. That makes me laugh so much. Every time it pops up, I just shit. It's so funny. Or the Susan album party.

Oh, yeah. Susan album party. Susan album party. Tomorrow on the show. Which is a video show. It is a video show. If you're planning on watching it. A lot of people, like, get up and put the show on in the morning while they're, like, getting breakfast ready and getting ready for the day.

Instead of, you know, watching, like, the morning show. That's an A show or something. What? Tomorrow shows graphic. Ooh. Do you remember a few weeks ago how Kayla messaged through and said she accidentally got a butt plug stuck inside of her and had to get it surgically removed and we saw the X-ray?

I would love to forget, but yes, I do remember. So, a bunch of tapas who are also radiographers have messaged us and gone, oh, just to like contribute to the fun x-ray stories. You won't believe what we've seen. But you won't believe what they've seen. Do we have the photos? Yeah. Watch tomorrow. Yeah.

Watch tomorrow. Okay. So, there's an x-ray, a new x-ray. And then there's also a, it's like like a ct scan like re what are they called like an reconstruction oh like the 3d yeah yeah yep oh okay all right yep okay yeah i'm watching yeah so i'm just saying don't fucking at me and say i didn't warn you okay yep that's fair fair trigger but also yeah it's pretty fucking good Fucking at me and say I didn't warn you. Okay. Yep, that's fair. Fair trigger warning. But also. Yep.

It's pretty fucking good. Love you, bye.