Toni and Ryan - The Real Estate Photographer's Secret

Episode Date: October 19, 2026

Toni's tech tips - Confessions - Toni's trip to Yarra glen - love ya!!!!!Where's the funniest place you did it...Don't Forget To Join Patreon As a Champion TARPer By Nov 1 to Get The Calendar!! patreon.com/ToniandRyanTell us what you reckon in the episode thread in our FACEBOOK GROUPWatch and subscribe on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan and get in the group chat with us!!!Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm a photographer and I normally pick up the keys from the real estate office, take all the nice shots of the house, leave and drop the keys off again. But sometimes I just get really horny. Oh, I don't like that. That is super creepy. Hi, I'm Becca and this is Paddington. We are from Mainestone and the United Kingdom. Hi, my name's Melissa.

I live in Edinburgh, Scotland. We're from Port Hewain in Tasmania and we are a good podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan. podcast, my name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge. Hi! Coming up, I'm about to ruin one of our favorite activities because I've got a scandal about people who work in the real estate industry. And we love snooping and looking at houses we can't afford.

We do. And we might not, or depending on which mood you're in, maybe we'll like it even more. It could go either way. Probably not a good way, but it could go either way. That's coming up in confessions. You're really hooked me through. That's very good. Well, I'll get through this very fast.

Ah, just the tech tips, baby, this evening. I need some tech tips, baby tonight. You know what's... You've got tech tips. Oh, don't talk over it. Great about, well, you think it's going to end, and it just keeps going. No, waking up on a Tuesday and going, I'm going to know more about tech ladies. That was a bit nasty pasty.

Well, it just, there was, the thing was coming and I thought, I thought I'd nailed it off the back. And I hadn't. Trying to hit the post. Yeah, and I hadn't. But waking up on a Tuesday and going, oh, thank you for saying that. We're going to get a tech tip today. Thank you for saying that. Yeah.

Now, another, um, useless, but great shortcut that I have found. Hey, hey. We don't, we don't downplay the tech tip. Don't put an asterisk on it. You, do we need to play the opener again? And you come in with confidence and like, if you need, no. Nah, all right. Yeah, go again, Charles.

I just the tech tip. I want some tech tips. I need some tech tips, baby. You've got tech tips. Hold the zero on your keyboard. Okay. I did tell you to open it already. The number?

Hold the zero on your keyboard. I'm holding it. And the little degrees symbol should come up. Yeah. Finally, we can easily say degrees on the phone. Isn't that excellent? So if you hold down the zero, it'll come up with a little thing you slide across

and you can do the degree symbol. You can also do it on a lap. I have been told it works on Apple and Android. And if you do it on your laptop and you do like options, or like control zero, the little degrees thing pops up. That's amazing. Isn't that great?

Hit it, Charles. Every type we're on the pod got tech tips. It's quite good, isn't it? It comes, it looks like I've sent that wrong. Oh, you've just sent me a dick pick probably. Oh. Did it come through a bit weird? fingered me

but and the degrees that you sent me was 67 degrees. That is good. I wonder if you just hold down that is good

if we hold down every key if we would just find stuff. Probably. We'll leave it to meet next week. We'll hit the seven. We're holding down

the seven next week hooking you through. We've got nine more numbers and 26 letters. And then a bunch of other keys that who knows what they do. There's the tech tips for the next six months

lined up, Ready to roll. Sorted. See you Christmas. It's time for a tub confession. Real estate based. Tony and Ryan.com. com.com.

A.U. is where you can submit these anonymously. Are we ready? I don't know. Are you ready? No. I work in real estate and I jerk off in open homes all the time. Oh.

I've never told anyone this before, but I'm a photo... Probably for the best. Yeah. Yep. I'm a photographer and I normally... pick up the keys from the real estate office, go to an empty house, take all the nice shots of the house, leave and drop the keys off again. But sometimes I just get really horny. And because there's no one around, I would just jerk off. Then I'd feel relaxed and at ease

and continue on with my job. I don't like that. That is super creepy. So when I send you a link and I go, hey, tone, check out this one. All I'm going to think about is some guy just like, standing at the kitchen just jerking it just jerking off yeah that I don't like that I think that's really creepy because often as well it is like people live there when you're going there to take the photos like they might not be home or whatever but it's like yeah they're definitely no but like I'll just do the uh the laundry here you know you guys aren't doing any washing are yeah just don't come in for a minute because the the way that I take the photo if anyone comes in it ruins it ruin the lighting yeah it's not good I

I find that's so creepy. You've like invited someone into your house to do a job and I've done that. That's fine. I don't like that. I was more in my mind when I was thinking about this and I was like. And how long did you think about that? Yeah, a while and then I jerked off to the, I was thinking more like cold, sterile display home rather than like someone's actual house. You know what I mean?

Like I know it's going to be someone's house. Yeah. But I didn't imagine like the owners are ducked out why he took some photos. That's what I'm imagining. Yeah. I mean, you would probably do both as a real estate photographer and as a real estate agent I jerk off in open homes all the time. But I'm imagining like Jenny and Craig are fucking.

Jenny and Craig. That's weird. I was thinking about Craig Bruce actually. Really? I always am. Who's not? Yeah. But like.

And Jenny, was that Jenny, Jenny, Jenny, or Mike? Mike. Jenny. Yeah. But, you know, like Eric Bannon and his wife, right? They're selling their house and you've gone in there to take the photos and what you wank. Yeah.

And then leave? That's so creepy. That's better than wanking and staying. Yeah. Like, leave then wank. You've got the order around the wrong way. So true. I just, you can't wank at work.

Like, I just don't think that we should have to tell that to people, but you just can't be wanking at work. Charles, did you pee at an open house the other day? I did. Yeah. Yeah. That's a bit different. You've shitted in an open house. Yeah.

I had no choice. It was happening and I've got, like, I'm perry dogging and I've got to go. It wasn't coming. But, you know, I think that is so creepy. Yeah. If my house was for sale, I hope that. It was once. Yeah.

But if we were. Remember that day when you won the auction. Yeah. And then you guys went inside. Then me, Bridget and Mabel came inside. And the guy was just. jerking off. Do you remember? Photographer. Yeah. Well, remember you went,

about to spray some of me Ray White all over the place. Are you jealous, Craig? I, do you remember though when you came to? Yeah. When you came to our auction and then you were like, let us have a look at the rest of the place and you open that bedroom and the owners were in there. Yeah, that was so weird. Ryan opens the door and they're like, hi.

And they were just like, oh. And they were like, have you bought? the house congratulations he was like oh no it's not me it's my best friend and that was just yeah sorry i said no it's my not best friend just friends sorry to interrupt i was actually just looking for a place to jerk off we were gonna take some photos and they were just hiding in one of those front rooms charles like a little spare room and i walked in there like six of them in there and i was like oh sorry because they were obviously watching the auction from the wind yeah yeah and they went oh my god is that that chick from ticot and ryan's like oh so oh so And they're like, did you just buy the house?

Oh my God. No. Some chick I work with did. Yes. Some girl from work. Um, no, I find that so extremely creepy. I don't like that. What do you reckon?

It's out of bounds, right? Like, I know they've sent it through anonymously. Yeah. But I'm still like, yeah, just like, don't tell me about it. Like, sure. I see what you're saying. You know what I mean? Out of side, out of mine.

Don't tell me how the sausage is made. Don't. Where? No, don't worry. Northern suburbs of Melbourne. No, where do you think is the... Nah. On the penis.

What do you mean where? I was going to say, where's some worst place you've jerked off. Oh, I don't know if I want to know. Dude, I've done some crazy shit. Or maybe you shouldn't share it. Let me think about that because it's... I'll do a board. I don't think we need to see that.

I'll do a top five. What's the one that just came to your head, though? I know Charles's. I know Charles's. Texted to Charles and... Oh, no, no. No, I wouldn't say it. But is, do you reckon that's yours?

Probably. Texted to me and I'll say, I've done the same. No, I reckon you probably have. That's what I mean, texts are to me. And I think all three of ours is probably the same. Oh, hang on. Hang on. Hang on.

I'm saying it too. Put the camera on Tony for. second. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let's do another confession. What's just got cut out for legal reasons.

But all three of hours is the same, which I think is actually quite cute slash romantic. What I was going to say is how sad is it when you muster up the courage to do it at that place and then can't get there. Oh, yeah. And then you just... And then you're like, what do we all doing? Now I'm just all fucking revved up with a high blood pressure and can't finish off and I'm just sitting here.

Luckily, I've got my blood clot socks on because my blood pressure's gone through the roof. Why would you have those on in an undisclosed location? Tea? I don't know. Yeah. In a place that we just edited out. That's so fair. And agreed to not mention.

Nah, fuck. You know, let's get these. another talk confession. A lot has just been edited out again. It's so all good. All good. We're friends. Look and us go.

If this episode is only 25 minutes, know that it took us an hour and a half to record it. I have to remain anonymous because this case is still before the courts. We love jury duty chart. My dash cam caught a violent road rage attack. And the video and audio have been submitted into evidence. And I had to like give a statement. Oh my God.

Did you see the road rage thing that happened like last week? Um, and someone got shot. Yeah. It's crazy. In Melbourne. There's been a bunch of random stuff on the streets. But like getting shot? Like, where the fuck are we?

That doesn't happen here. That's not a thing. Like, oh my God. Anyway, sorry. The audio being played in the courtroom over and over has some audio of the road rage incident because it's like recording audio and stuff. But it's mainly just the Tony and Ryan podcast playing out loud because that's what was playing in my car at the time of the incident.

Two young men were physically assaulting an elderly man. That is disgusting. My dash cam caught the whole thing. The car's making contact, the aggressive driving, the intimidation. The moment those two little shits pulled over, got out and started hurling abuse and at him. Little. I pulled over. I was terrified that would turn on me, but I took a little shit.

deep breath got out and I yelled at them to stop and they did. That's a, that's very, very brave. Police and ambulance arrived. The older man was okay. I handed over my dash cam footage as evidence. Then I started my car and the podcast picked up right where it left off and I realized it'd been playing the whole time.

Somewhere in a police station and later in a court of law, legal specialists and law enforcement were listening to Tony Lodge yelling not in my pusshole, you. What was the context that feels important? Is it relevant? Not to the case, it wasn't. Yeah. To my case it was.

Yeah. Oh, sorry, but there's a line apparently. That is so scary. I wouldn't get out of the car, but I would happily hand over the video, but how funny that us is in the background. That didn't mention me. Well, it's a Tony-9 podcast.

Yeah, but you were just really, on one. So at the moment of like, this is the 15 second clip that would suggest, you know? I was like telling a story or fucking whatever. Wow, we were really going for

about the sound of things. I don't regret what I did. No. And I'm happy to be part of it. I'm basically a lawyer. I object. Hi, my name's Melissa. I live in Edinburgh, Scotland.

Hi, I'm Becca and this is Paddington. Hi, I'm Kat and this is Gertie. And you're listening to Tony. I'm right. A big thank you and another big cuddling smooch to a few of our champion Tarpers over at our Patreon. Matthew, good on you, Matthew. Caitlin, meow. Sorry, yesterday was a smooch.

Today was a cuddle and a smooch. Smooch and a cuddle. Who knows what tomorrow will be? And by Friday. Yeah. Smooch, hug smooch, blow job. Aino. Wow, there's a feast.

That's what they mean by fourth base. Oh. Yeah. Alex Dore, good on your. Alex, Joe, thanks Joe, Ruga. A Ruger. Kailene Gertzman. That sounds like a fancy country singer.

And up next is Kailin Gertzman. It sounds like a southern law firm. Other than the team from Kailen Gertzman came down and they really got to the bottom of that case. Maybe they're representing us in course with the dash cam footage. I hope so. Yeah. Elyce Fowler, good on your I lease.

Fowler. Sick, Bellow. bitch. Nelly, Nick, thanks Nellie, Amanda Jennings and Elizabeth Shate. Oh, yeah, you have you fucking full of shade. Elizabeth, shape, myself. That's very good. Now, obviously, we discussed a lot of depravity already on this podcast, but I want to talk

about something very wholesome is that on the weekend, Torbs and I went to a beautiful garden. There's like this viral, love of a viral place in Yarra Glen. Yep. and it's called Allowen Gardens. This is the website. It's like this stunning big gardens. Like they have a nursery there and stuff.

It's this big garden center. But this is the wisteria. They've got big arches of wisteria that grow down. And it's like in bloom at the moment. Yeah. And what? Do you get a couple of weeks a year where that's really popping? I think so.

Yeah. And so they posted on Instagram and this real just blew up. Like it's on. Like it's now. And it's been going. going absolutely bonkers. And Torbs and I were like, how sweet. We should go there and, you know.

Was it busy? It was so fucking busy. We were in the line to get into the gardens for like the best part of 40 minutes. No. And then it's like $17 to get in as well to like go and see the gardens. To see a tree. Well, because we, well, but it's not like look how beautifully manicured it is. I mean it's stunning.

Like it's, anyway. So I've got a little picture of Torbs and I in there. There's us in the garden. Sorry, have used 0.5? I have used 0.5, thanks. Wow, okay. And is he wearing a cardigan? Yeah.

Okay, talks. Cardi gang, the two of us. Yeah. That's cool. He's so fucking handsome. I love him so much. Yeah. Isn't that a cute picture of us?

That is a cute picture of you guys. Is that before, after you waited in line for 40 minutes? That's after. That's surprising. You guys still like each other. That's real. No, we were having a great time. We were just chatting and fucking talking shit.

But we were like, this is really cool. as you go up to the thing to pay your entrance fee, the lady goes, look, I know that you're just here for the wisteria, but please look at the whole garden. It's so stuck. Like, there's so much more than just the wisteria. I mean, we're like, oh, is there? Like, we didn't know. And she hands us a map. And it's got all, they've got like little Japanese Zen garden, a massive flower garden, all these tulips.

They weren't springing yet. So we just saw the, like, plants. But then they have this massive. Will they like come back in a few weeks? They're like, oh, pay you $17 again. And then they've got a huge veggie garden. And it's really, it's really, really beautiful. Anyway, I think the next photo, Charles, is us in the wisteria.

Which is quite, there's. Oh my God. It's huge. It's so, so beautiful. And there was a bunch of chairs set up for a wedding. Like someone was getting married there. It's really, really cool. That's paid $17.

They probably paid fucking billions. I can't even imagine how much would cost. I'm guessing a year out and just trying to go, oh, geez, I hope they're bloat. Because I'm guessing it's not like clockwork where they go, oh, it's the first of October. Fallows, get the purple. You know, it's like, you've got to get lucky. And didn't they? It's so, and I think that it only gets better than that.

Like, even what the photo that I'm showing now, like, it's a bit purple, but it gets even nicer. Anyway, as we're coming in, there's all these people, and you can imagine, people are in line for 40 minutes. It's a bit sunny outside. They're grumpy. They're a bit grumpy. And fair, because I'd struggle. And there's a few, like, I hate to generalise, but a few grumpy dads where, and grumpy granddads and grumpy husbands whose wife has gone, I would love to go see this.

They go, who's, fuck, see, fucking garden, fuck pay, fuck, 20, oh, fuck, 20 bucks, fuck, fuck, see you carbon, don't they? A lot of that. Was I one of them? A lot of that. She's very familiar. But just like. and I'm like, you're out of fucking garden.

It's absolutely beautiful. Like, get over it. Anyway, one of the parts of the garden is a maze. Like, they have like a hedge maze in the... So fucking cool. How high? Like full height? No, it's probably like chest height for adults.

So for kids, it is like would kind of cover you. That one? That's not the maze. That's just like part of the garden. But it is amazing. But it is amazing. But it's like, yeah, probably chest high. It's called the labyrinth.

And we're kind of walking over there and Torbs and I were like, oh, we should go through the maze. And this grumpy granddad, dad person, grumpy husband, grumpy old bloke, he's like, oh, and you fucking, I bet you know what, on the bloody moz, I bet you there's not even any dead ends anymore. And what the fuck? He's like, oh, fucking PC gone mad. What the kids are going to go in there and get scared?

and they fucking have to helicopter lift him out of the fucking maze probably. Like he's like, oh, probably no doubt. I bet you the maze isn't even hard. Do you let him, do you let him know? Just snap at him. Just give me a little, oh, fucking. Nah, I was actually, Torbs and I were having such a great time that I was like, you're such a cockhead, but like, fuck, whatever.

And I was like, and also, I don't think that getting into a maze with dead ends would be scary. I think it's just like, oh, you turn around, it's whatever. Yep. We go into this maze. and I start having a full-on panic attack. It's this high on me. Like, I can see, but it is so narrow. And there, he was right,

PC gone mad, there weren't any dead ends, but it snaked you around for a while. And so you get back to where you, oh, I was here three minutes ago. So you kind of go through the whole thing, but there's two entrances. So if people come in the other way, They're like coming towards you and it's really narrow.

So you kind of have to like go into the. And I started just getting like a little bit overwhelmed because there's all these people. It's really close. Yep. And once. The sun's coming down. The sun's out. And once you get in there, you can't just get out.

No. You have to finish the maze. Yeah. Oh my God. This old man, he was right. It was, I nearly did have to get helicopter down there. And we're, and it's, yeah, it's sunny. I'm glad you made it in today for the show, to be honest.

Honestly, I did not, I thought I was going to have to call him. Yeah. And I'm in this thing and towards us behind me and I was like, hmm, he's like, you're okay. But there's no wrong turns. We just have to make it out. And then, you know, a big group of tourists comes through and you've got to kind of stand a thing.

They walk past and you can. I was like, hmm, there's all these people. These kids are like yelling and running. I was like, no, we've all just got to be, take it easy here. We're going to take a deep breath. Let's all just fucking calm down, okay? What time did the park close? And we're starting to do the maths

Oh yeah Like okay they wrap up at about five My god okay well It's three o'clock now And I was like honestly I was like I'm pretty tired Like am I going to have to fucking camp for the night At one point

Do you reckon it's one person's job That at 445 Go don't go in there No but they have to come out and help that You know go hey We're actually shutting up shop in 15 minutes Like gently coax people out of the maze And they go I'm gonna go left here

And he goes I reckon maybe go straight there I reckon it's fine Yeah. So, because there isn't any dead ends, you actually don't have to make any choices. You just have to finish the thing. It's that you just have to keep following it, but it's so long. Oh, because you're, because you're like zigging and zagging in the thing.

And people are coming towards you and you've got to get out of their way. And like, there's all these people trying to take pictures of the maze. So you kind of like trying to duck down while they're doing stuff because you're in their photos. Do you get any photos in there or it's too stressful? I do have some photos of the maze before I went in there. But no, I want to know, is there a selfie of you, like, you know. Torbs did, he had his camera and he took some photos of me like while we were in there. It was so stressful.

Like, thank God they took the dead ends out. Like, honestly, I would not have been able to handle that. It was horrific. So you were at one stage going to drop in at my place on the way home because Yarra Glen is out my way. Yeah, I didn't realize where it was. Yeah. And so... Beautiful out there, stunning.

Stunning. And then you don't come around. I was stuck in the maze. And then, no, but you just went, oh, this is what I'd been told before I knew about the maze. Yeah. I'd had a big day and I fell asleep in the car on the way back. Torbs bought me an ice cream from the chocolate factory. I ate it on the grass like a little kid.

He buckled me into the front seat of the car and I fell asleep. We'd used all that, the stress and the anxiety and the, so you're all revved up and then you finally had an ice cream at the Yarra Glen Chocolate Terry. What's it called? I don't know how it's called. Chocolate terrier? It's got some weird. Yeah, Yarra Valley factory chocolataria or something. Yeah.

And then little, little baba popped in the city. Now you just curl up there. Yeah. Because you're like, oh, on the way home I was going to give you a buzz, but I fell asleep. No wonder you. You're so stressed. We had such a big day. I said,

Torbs. I was like, when we're like 10 minutes away, I'll just give him a call. And Torbs like, yeah, great. And then I,

like he jostles me awake at home. We're in the driveway at home and he goes, Hey, my love. Sweetie, you're going to come in? Yeah. You mean sleeping in the car for three days?

I'm probably like this. I'm like thinking I'm in the maze again. That sounds really stressful. It actually was. I could not. I've never been in a like a garden maze before. It was, I think it was the,

because you know how you've got a thing with like being in a line. for a while. You're like, I just feel a bit claustrophobia, like I, you know, you would rather wake up early in drive, not in traffic and stuff. And I've never really felt that. But being in this maze and knowing I couldn't just leave. Yeah. Was really, oh, I did not like that.

Yeah. Yuck town. So save you $17, everyone. Well, it was the lady's fault, wasn't it? She goes, don't just look at the wisteria. Look at everything. She probably wanted to trap me in that maze and kill me and eat me, you know. I've actually met that girl you're talking about.

And it wouldn't fucking surprise me. A little hungry old lady. Yeah. Just looking for some human meat that was left over in the maze. She looked like witch vibes. I did a maze in Mildura. Shouldault? Should out.

And I didn't like it. It's not. It wouldn't be for you. What if I need to poo? That was, just the fact that I couldn't just leave really like boiled my tummy up. I really didn't like it. I'm sorry you had to go through that. A very difficult day.

Yeah, I know. Yeah. Were kids doing it? Yeah. And do they look cruisy or are they scared? No, they were fine. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I just think that like the harshness of the world hasn't set in for them yet.

So true. You know, kids are happy. Yeah. I don't have bills. I pay my rates the other day, you know? Oh, there's a fucking... Talk about a horror story. Halloween's coming up.

Oh, open the mailbox. You know what I mean? Fucking out. Take care. Well, it's a council bill. Oh. We'll take your money, but we won't take all your fucking garbage. Yeah, we won't give you a bigger bid.

you dirty bitch. Sorry. I've got to rant back down. It's okay. That's right. Do you want me to do your love to see it to take the edge off? I love that. I love that.

Actually, you'll love this. This is from Emily McColgan. That sounds too fun. Emily McColden, my ball sack. Yeah, McCulgan. Emily McCulgan. She said, I heard Tony talking about hotel rooms and what they lack. And she goes, well, I've got her.

You love to see it. Toilet brush. There it is. Toilip brush in a hotel room. You love to see it. Thanks, Emily. That's wonderful. A bit like a maze.

A toilet without a toilet brush. You feel cornered. Yeah. You feel like you've got no options. You feel more cornered than that shower. Yeah, I don't like the shape of that shower. No, that's really freaking me out. Charles, take that down.

It looks like a UFC ring. You know how that's like the octagon? Yeah, which corner I'm like, you're just always in the corner. You're all, yeah, but never. Yeah, but also never. Yeah. Yeah. You keep going around and you just...

Get him cornered. Which of the 17? Yeah, you keep going around, but you end. up flat. There's eight. It's an octagon. Opt. I think seven is the number.

Because after seven, there is no corners. You're just in a never-ending cycle of doom. Spiral. Yeah. We are spiraling now. Yeah. Don't go to that maze. If that's all the advice that you ever listen to me, but I wouldn't go to the maze.

Would Mabel like it or was just like a bit? I think she'd probably enjoy like waddling through it. Like it's cool. And the tree, like the way it's been looked after is fucking sick. I'm having a four-year-old in a line with what's people's probably not it. That's that. Yeah, because there were lots of people with kids. There were lots of people that had like eskis and were going in there and like picnicking in the grounds, which was beautiful. I like that. It really was gorgontia, but I'd just be so, so fucking

carefully in that maze. We took a heaps of food and a picnic to Hillsville sanctuary and just set up on the grass. That was really nice. Do you have to pay to get into Hillsville? Yeah, but it's the same as the zoo. You get the yearly pass. How much is it to just go like a one off, flat 20 bucks or? I don't know. But what I do. But what I do. do know is that if you're going to go twice in a year, that's the same cost of the yearly. Oh. And Hillsville Sanctuary, Melbourne Zoo and Werribee Zoo, it's the same one. So you buy one yearly for all of them.

So if you bought one yearly and you went to each of them once, you've made your money back. Yeah. Printing money. They're giving you money back. You've made money and gone back in time. Yep. That's amazing. Yeah.

It's $58 per person. Like if you just go one. One off. 58 per person. Yeah. you got to do the pass. Yeah, you got to do the past. Yeah.

Maybe we'll get one. Just in case. You should. You should. Because a little picnic sounds like. Yeah. We're not picnicking enough. You know what picnicking was good like during COVID?

Did you guys do that month? Oh, Bridge wasn't really living in the city with you, eh? Oh. But we were on the outside of the ring of steel. So you were kind of fine. Yeah. But like. But also as a homebody.

You have to stay home and not socialized. I was like, okay. But like going and doing a little picnic, that was really nice. but I feel like we did that during COVID, but we haven't done it like in our regular life. Yeah, there were people down the road that would get a, like a hot chalky or something. Oh, yeah.

Because I had little takeaway cups and they were kind of like, you know, you got your aerial out outside. And I was like just cruisly walking laps of the park. And I was chatting to them once and I was like, you know that distinct look in someone's teeth where they've been drinking red wine? Oh, yeah, like you can see. And you can see it on the inside of their lips and stuff.

Oh, they had that? In a takeaway coffee. cup. Well, because they were doing like, um, takeaway cocktails in Richmond and stuff. Yeah. And it was just a coffee cup, but I had like a fucking aprol sprit in it. Yeah. And so these guys, I thought, oh, have, look at every night having a hot chockey.

Yeah. They're fucking bottle or wine. Drown. Oh, could I get a, uh, a grand day of Pino? Thanks, thanks. Could you just put a straw in the bottle? Yeah. They're just, they're cracking a goonsack into their mouth, like, like pressing the little

vowel. Oh, goonsacks. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I really love to sit here also. from Alicia Vesta. Alicia sent this through in Patreon. Hi, Tony.

Does she spend all their money? No, she's an investor. She ran a jumper, no, just a Vesta. Did she ride a scooter? Yeah, Vesta. I'd love it if you could send a shout-out to my daughter, Emily. Emily is spelled E-M-I-L-E-I-G-H.

Is she a slut? Is she not? I mean, I love it, but where do we take him from that? And this is who you love to see it? This is you love to see it, but I just had to shout out the way that the name is spelled. I don't know. I don't know if I'll love to say that. I've heard about the maze.

Yeah, so I've set you off. I've set you off wrong, but this comes back around. Alicia says, I want to send a shout out to my daughter, Emily, for her 21st birthday. Sheld out. She's a type of two, and I think it would make her day. Our birthdays are two days apart, and it's a big year of birthdays for us, because it's her 21st and her mom's 40th. Crazy.

So like two milestone kind of birthdays. And Alicia says I'm taking her to Bali for the week. Like we're going to go spend a week in Bali, the two of us. Like 40 and 21. You can go clubbing when you're 40 and I'm saying that as a 39 year old. Oh, 1,000% you can. So. You can go fucking clubbing as a like 90 year old.

Yeah, but like not like ironically but just like straight up I'm going out. But imagine going out like me being my age and like, oh let's go to Bali. I'm going to hit the bars with my daughter. Yeah, that's crazy. crazy concept. That's so fun. It's really fun. So they're going to, they're going to Bali.

And she was like, and I know that she'll be listening to the pod, like next to the pool. So this will be a nice little surprise. So they're there right now in Bali. Enjoy. And look out for Charles. He'll be cruising around there. Well, Alicia's daughter, you'll like this, Charles. Alicia's daughter, Emily, for her mom's birthday.

So her mom bought the tickets to Bali. Her daughter bought tickets to the Perth live show to come and see Tony and Ryan. I think you're going to say, Beach Pob. Yeah, I asked about the craziest place you jerked off, not the place you've fingered someone else. Isn't that so cool? That is cool.

So they're going to be at the live show. In Perth. Yes. Sick. So good. Mother-daughter duo in Perth. Yeah. So we'll see you at the Regal Theatre.

Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Yeah. Enjoy Bali. Oh, how good. Is Bali, what, two hours 45 flight from Perth? Yeah. It's right there.

By the time you get to the airport, you're halfway there. You're already there. Yeah. You get to. You get to the airport and they go, Tremakasi, and you're there. What else do you know in Indonesian? Satu, dua, Tiga, Mpat, but Lima, and um, Tudu Dillapan, Sebalan, Sapulu. Fuck yeah.

Salamat Datham, Salamat Pargi, Tremakasi. Here's an impression of Emily counting the drinks she had last night. Satu, dua, Tiga. I don't know if I can count that high, you know? This is Emily counting how many times she got fingered by Charles. the pool at Finns Beach Club in Bali. Just the Satu. Just the one.

Oh, fucking satire and a satu. You know what I'm saying? I wouldn't mind. How many things? No. No, redacted. Redacted. Yeah.

Anyway. Put a finger up if you're Charles. Put a finger up me at Charles's Finns Beach Club. Tomorrow on the show. Yeah. Last week you said you got the Fanny Flutters. When you learned that Tobs used to have that cool blue, blue, Blackberry, the Nokia.

Yeah. So people have sent through, they're like, I don't know why this got me revved up. But when I, and whilst I thought this might have been like a funny thing, I actually think we might need to put a tower down because some of these are a bit. Should I put me splitting nickys on? Yeah, easy access. All right, chatty tomorrow. Love you. Bye. Thanks for listening.