Toni and Ryan - The Shackles That Are Holding You Down

Episode Date: December 3, 2023

WE'RE BAAAAACKKKK YAY! Love ya xoCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge. Hello. We are calling Stephanie who's in Washington, North Carolina. There's too many Washingtons. They've got to come up with some new fucking names. However, is it fair to say that Stephanie's your like go-to hot California girl name?

Because I just hear you going, Stephanie. Oh, I think I hear you doing that. No. Hi, I'm Stephanie. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. Or whenever, maybe it's like when you do cool girls. Yeah, I think I hear you doing that. No. Hi, I'm Stephanie. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. Or maybe it's like when you do cool girls. Yeah, I think it's cool girls.

Stephanie is a cool girl name. Okay. Like a Steph. Ooh. Yeah. Hello? Stephanie! It's Tony and Ryan.

Hey. Hi. Now, Tony claims that Stephanie is a cool girl's name. Are you a cool girl? Well, the cool girls have tattoos. How many tattoos do you have? I think it's seven or eight. Okay, you're talking to me.

Okay, so Tony's new girlfriend, Stephanie, will you approve today's podcast? Absolutely. Legend. Hey, it's Stephanie from North Carolina and I approve this podcast. Guys, welcome back to Australia. We're back. We're in the right time zone. Yeah. How does it feel? It's good. Yeah. It is really good to be Australia. We're back. We're back. We're in the right time zone.

How does it feel? It's good. Yeah. It is really good to be home. It is good. How's the new house? Weird. Yeah.

So weird, but amazing. Yeah. Yeah. We're loving it. Coming up today, Tony's in a new house. Yeah. New year, new me. Yeah.

It's a premature new year, new me, but Tony's got a glow. Yeah. It's not because she's seen Torbs after a four weeks off. Though that was good. Yeah, I bet. Yeah. How are the neighbours in the Hawaii hotel? No one said anything, but the do not disturb bar got a workout.

Did it? That's for sure, yeah. Yeah, I wasn't the only one. Yeah, only knock for Eggs Benedict, please. When you're dropping fuel off, I'll work out. Did it? That's for sure, yeah. Yeah, wasn't the only one. Only knock for Eggs Benedict, please. When you're dropping fuel off, I'll take that. That's it. Please leave me alone unless you've brought Gatorade. Yeah.

But something else that Tony's come back with, it's a new attitude, but it's a bit of a stand against, I don't think people are going to like this. I think that the thing about me is that I love to exclaim something and this is it. Yeah. Tony's about to step up to the mic and fucking let it rain. I am. That's coming up. But first, Tony spent a week in Hawaii.

I did. It is now summer in Australia. Even though it doesn't really feel like it in Melbourne. Melbourne needs to get its act together. So our new house actually has a fire. Like you hit a button and it just turns on. Oh, like an electric or gas? It's gas.

Oh, that's nice. I feel like a villain, like in a movie, because I can just like hit it and it goes whoosh. It's satisfying in that first moment. Yeah. And we've had the fire on because it's been pissing with rain. Pippa loves it. I bet.

She's on her back like roasting like a little chicken. Yeah. Like she's just fucking turning around in front of the fire. Well, even though it is the start of summer, it doesn't feel like it. You're right. But I've got a beach etiquette question. Oh, well, I'm a beach babe. Yeah.

As you know. And I think it's like, who's the fuckhead in this situation? I reckon it happens in all Australian beaches, and I suspect it may have happened in Hawaii when you were there with Torbs. Oh. Now, this is the comment from the person who experienced this. If you do this on an Australian beach, you're a fuckhead. Big accusation.

I was sitting with my partner at the beach. We're both about to go for a swim. So we said to the people sitting near us, hey, can you just watch our stuff? How do you feel about that when people say that? I'm not taking responsibility for. What if then I want to. I've got so many questions. What if then I want to go for a dip?

What if you're actually leaving the country And I'm just How long am I supposed to sit here for Minding your fucking wallet and keys I mean And your old Mount Franklin water bottle Like do you know what I mean Like I don't

Like your towel isn't even from Country Road I'm not fucking looking after it Like If it was from Country Road Are you fucking joking me Then I would take it and fuck off Yeah I'll watch it I can't afford a town for a fucking country ride

I'll gank it and fuck off I'll watch it down I'll watch it into the back of my car Yeah watch it into my fucking washing machine See you later Oh my god I always thought so. Hypothetically, someone rocks up.

With a country rock. Like a robber, right? Oh, no. And they've got their gun out and they're like, I'm taking your stuff. Are you supposed to fight the robber? You know what I mean? Oh, actually, I said I'd look after it. So I'm going to actually have to ask you to put that back in the holster, sweetheart.

How much vigor are you supposed to put into like defending the term? That's a great question. It's not my stuff. I'm not going to fight you for it. Yeah. And he goes, you don't have a country road. Tell everyone your stuff. But this looks all right.

No, I think that he's putting so much pressure on the other person. Yeah. And you're right. How long? And also, I think that there's like- Does that hold up in insurance? Yeah. Oh, but we asked the guy next to us to fucking-

And also, you don't know the guy next to you from Adam. Do you know what I mean? You could be asking the thief. Yeah, they're the thief. And we go, oh, well, they're about top in the water, so we know that they'll be 10, 15 to 30 minutes or whatever. Yeah, no one's dipping for 30 seconds. No, like you're going in and you're doing a little swim around.

Yeah. So I'd never been to like a resort before. And at the, where we stayed in Hawaii, there's like a little cove there. Yeah. And it's like kind of part of the hotel. Yeah. And they have like sun beds and umbrellas and then like, and they're like at the front.

This is one thing Australia does not do. They don't do it. We don't do it here, but it's so good. I'd never seen it before. It's real, like, hot girl European style. Yes, you can, like, camp under an umbrella and you can actually, like, lay on the beach for the day because you're not just in the fucking blasted sun.

Getting baked, yeah. Right, well, you can. Yeah, there's the Mount Franklin bottle. blasted sun. Getting bagged, yeah. Well, you can't. Ew. Yeah, there's the Mount Franklin bottle. And then they also had fancy cabanas. Like a big sunbed with a canopy over it and stuff. And I

went over to the... Because I'm a fucking loser. Love rules. I went over to this beach shack thing they had and I was like, oh, how much are the just normal beds with the umbrellas to rent? And they said, are you a guest of the hotel? And I said, yes, because you wear like a wristband. It's very culty. It's got to sound as it sounds culty.

Yeah. And I went over there and they're like, if you're a guest of the hotel, those beds are free. And I was like, amazing. Like, how good? And they go, yep. And towels are over there. Like, take as many as you need.

And then I was like, oh, what about that big cabana thing with the canopy? And she goes, well, that's $80 an hour. And I went, is there like a booking system? And she went, oh, well, like, yeah, we like keep an eye on it. And I was like, well, so if I booked an hour. Are you going to come kick me out? Is anyone going to come and kick me out if I I don't book at all, but it's empty. Like, you know, who's policing this?

Yeah. So what I'm learning is that beaches are just fucking free for all. They are. People can ask you to do stuff. You can just take a cabana. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

Did you take the cabana? I didn't. No. I used the free bed. Yeah. It was elite. I'll tell you what's overrated. bed. Yeah. No, but the free bed's good because one thing that- It was elite. I'll tell you what's overrated.

What? Sand. Oh, sand can fuck off. You know what? If it was just concrete down to the ocean, fine. Grass. Grass. Better than concrete?

And manicured lawn. Yeah. Oh, that would be good. Yeah. Although it would get soggy. The seawater would kill it, I think, as well. Yeah. But just being elevated off the sand on that bed, I could sit there all day.

And we did. And because you've got the umbrella, it's like that protection. Back, though, to the thieves. No, I don't think you can do that. You've talked up a big game, though, in reality. Oh, yeah. Let's play out the situation. Excuse me.

Oh, you look familiar. You're from TikTok. Can you just keep an eye on my stuff? I'm just going to go for a swim. Oh, mate, absolutely yeah beautiful town well listen to what this guy said um quite politely but like you know that's like you can be polite but stern totally um can you look after my stuff he goes oh sorry. I've had responsibilities all year long. And this week, responsibility free.

I don't want to be responsible for anything, including your stuff. So unfortunately, I can't keep an eye on it. That's kind of nasty, though. I like that it's straight to the point and you're just like, no, I'm not going to keep an eye on your stuff. Yeah. And so then they were like, oh, and they just went for a swim anyway. Because, I mean, what's the fucking difference? What are you going to do?

Take it with you? Like, oh, you can't watch it? Okay, well, and they just went for a swim anyway. Because, I mean, what's the fucking difference? What are you going to do, take it with you? Like, oh, you can't watch it? Okay, well, we'll just swim with it. We'll take our pool in the fucking ocean. I reckon a good one would be like, oh, we're actually about to leave. Like, oh, we're actually going to head off soon. Yeah. And then you just move away.

Hey, it's Steph from North Carolina, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. And then you just move away somewhere else. Hey, it's Steph from North Carolina, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. That's Tapas, Tony and Ryan Podcast. And champion tapas received a little something in the mail, haven't they? And if you haven't yet, it's on its way. Kale Holmstrom.

Thank you so much, Kale. Tay Tay. The Tay Tay? Oh, my God. What are you doing in Patreon if you're too busy being on Tony's Spotify wrapped? That's funny. How can you make it two places at once? That's very good.

Patreon. Patreon. Rachel Hines. Ryan Hines. Sorry, not Rachel. Don't know where that came from. Ischelle Van Son. Oh, Ischelle Van Daughter.

Clive Jones and Joshua Little. And Joshua Big. Thank you so much for being part of our Patreon. We'll be doing like a fun Christmas-based live stream in the month of December at some point. At some point. We'll figure it out. We're just staying to get off our fucking assholes.

I know. Not that anyone's on my asshole, but like just we'll figure it out. Yeah, I don't know. That was weird. I regret it immediately. Okay. At the start of the year, 2023, Tony Lodge said,

this is the year I'm going to slay the day. Slay the day. I'm wet for life. I'm slaying day. She was a new woman. And haven't we loved watching Tony Lodge thrive in 2023? That's actually really nice of you because I feel like I have thrived in 2023.

You have thrived. I've never seen anyone thrive more. And I think that I really have continued to slay the day. Because every day I'm like, you know what? I'm going to act like it's a new day. I'm not going to think about what happened yesterday. Just going to slay today. OG podcast fans will remember that coming back from Christmas in January 2022,

I remember you went to the McKinley's in Albury and you swam in the river. Swam in the river. And you were like a river girl. River girl. And you were like, I felt the river's waters and I've got a new lust for life. I'm unflappable. It's new. You knew me.

Yes. Guys, Tony Lodge has arisen like a mermaid from the Hawaiian waters. Oh, beautiful. And she is about to proclaim something, which I think, you know, you know that I'm fucking your hype man and I'll back you in. I'm not saying you're wrong, but what I am saying is that a lot of people aren't going to like this. What if it didn't have to be for everyone? What if it was just for me?

No, I'd back it in. Okay, I'm backing it in. Jeans are cancelled. I'm cancelling jeans. Cancelled with a K. What are you wearing now? Oh, no, it's in a dress. I'm true to my thing. Cancelled with a K. What are you wearing now? Oh, no. In a dress? I'm true to my thing.

So, okay. Let me explain. Sorry, do it again. Jeans are cancelled. Jeans. Denim. Jeans. Denim jeans.

The thing is, is that I do come back from every holiday with, like, something crazy to say. And I actually love it about myself. Yep. Because I think that every time I go on holiday, I get all this perspective. And I actually think that if I went on holiday like every second week, then like I'd be a lot happier because then I'd be like on holiday, then I'd feel great. Then I'd be on holiday, then I'd feel great.

You know what I mean? So the half of the year I'd feel great and the other half I'd be on holiday. So it'd be great. The whole year would be great. How do you think tapas would feel about us just doing every second week? Would they be on board with that? Because that would be pretty good. And like, you know, when you're on-

Would your bank be on board with that? Oh, that's the thing. No, definitely couldn't afford to be on holiday every single week. Hello? Australia Bank? Yes. Australia Bank? Can I pay my mortgage every second time?

Yeah, I've decided to go half time. Not part time, half time. But, like, remember that time we were on a work trip in Sydney and I said ciao? That was. Do you remember that? Yeah, I almost fell off my chair. Never.

Off your ciao. But, like. You're on a holiday, Tony. But you're not you when you're like away from home. No, you're not. And we weren't even on holiday then, but I was away and I was feeling like exotic. I've never said ciao in my life except for like in like year six Italian. Mrs. Pietro Piccolo insisted that we say hello and goodbye in Italian.

So after six years of learning Italian, you just learned. No, year six, like grade six, not like my sixth year of Italian. Okay, right. Yeah, sorry. That was misleading. Anyway, when I was packing, as you know, I did create a clothes matrix to take away with us in the USA because I was like, I'm going to make this as easy as possible.

But you know how like you wear jeans and a T-shirt every single day at home, but then when you're packing your bag, you go, oh, well, I'll pop in a gown and I'll pop in. I wear black every day. I'll pop in a gown and I'll pop in, I wear black every day. I'll pop in this fucking zigzag t-shirt. How many things did you cart around 12 different states of the US and not wear once? Nothing. I wore every single thing in my, yes.

What about you, Cam? I packed some fucking overalls I never put on. Yeah. Oh, that's probably for the best. Yeah. Yeah. I carted around a black denim jacket that I never wore once. Oh.

Because you were wearing your big coat because it was very cold. I dragged home that awful. The hat. The cowboy hat. Oh, no, that was great. The cowboy hat from Dallas. Did that make it home? The whole trip made it home.

Nice. A bit worse for wear, though, because it got folded up in the bag. And also, remember that terrible Christmas sweater I bought from Walmart? Oh, Walmart. You can wear that in that Christmas in July, Christmas in July stream. We did that three years ago. Christmas live stream.

I'm going to wear it, but it took up so much space. Because it's got a battery pack, doesn't it? Yeah, and a drink cooler. Yeah, the battery pack, you've got to be careful with those. And I remember unpacking going, I've carted this shit around the car and I couldn't fit it all in and I was squashed. So I left some shit behind. And the fact that you, and I bagged you out for your fucking matrix,

but look at you. Because I knew what was in my suitcase and I knew what went with everything. But so when I was looking at packing, I was like, oh my God, well, I'm not going to be me while I'm away. So I'll pack all this fun stuff. And I actually wore All the like fun stuff That I packed And then thank you

And then like Did you wear like a Hawaiian hula skirt? I didn't no but I did wear colour in Hawaii Which is What the fuck? What colours? When? Who? How? So I wore a hot pink dress. What?

To where? Let me show you the dress. Was your high school formal in Hawaii last week? What are you laughing? Where were you going? I'll show you the dress. I know you didn't leave. You were either lying on your back in your hotel room or lying on your back on the fucking

thing on the beach or lying on your back in the buffet. Between those three things. You won't do them at jazz. I know. I'm going to show you the dress because I reckon I can. Am I going to cry? No. It's cool.

It's cool. Were you a bridesmaid? Were you a bridesmaid for someone? No. It's really cool. Hang on. I'm trying to find it on the website. Last chance to buy it.

What website? It's this brand. This is not fucking sponsored, but it's this brand called Lucy and Yak. And they make really cool stuff. And they had this t-shirt dress. And I was like, you know what? That's for me. Okay.

So I wore this from there as well. This set. You're going to fucking throw up and die. I wore that in Hawaii. What the fuck? Oh, my God. Fun. Very fun.

Fun. Fun. Very fun. Too fun. Very fun. Fun. Fun. Very fun. Too fun. Very fun. And this is the hot pink dress. That is hot. And I wore that with, like, my bathers underneath

and then, like, slipped that off at the beach and sat there in, like, my little kini. That's hot. Which is fun. That's hot. Anyway, so I wore colour and then I was like, you know what? I just wear jeans because I think that I should because I feel like they, like, look low maintenance and they're easy to just, like,

throw on some jeans and a T-shirt. Yep. But I actually, and this is not me being like, compliment me, I actually don't think that they look that good on me. Okay. And I think that that's okay. I love that you said don't compliment me. Cam and I were not going to do that

No, no, no But like you know how when people go like Oh, I don't think it looks that good And they're fishing for a compliment Yeah, yeah, yeah Tell me that it does Can I ask you a question? A question

And I don't know how deep this might go Yeah, I think I know what's coming What's your beef with being high maintenance? Okay, I think that someone once Yeah Must have said to me That person's so high maintenance, and whatever they were wearing or doing at the time,

I went, that's bad, and I've locked that into my core memory. And I'll never be that way. And it was probably just some asshole that said it to me that I went, I can never do that. And I've locked it in, and it's happened when I was fucking 14 or 15 or something, and I can't unlearn that. I don't know. I'm 30 years old now.

And I can't like. I don't know if it's on air or off air, but we've talked about like in our lives, you get incepted by a comment. Yep. And I didn't even think being high maintenance or low maintenance was a scale on which people judged other people. Yep. I think.

But you've, it's like in you. I think someone has said it to me once and I've gone, ooh. Do I need to call Leonardo DiCaprio? Actually. Do I need to fucking get right down in there with Jordan Joseph Leavitt and fucking extract? And go all the way in. All the way in.

Well, the thing is, is that- How many dreams deep do you reckon it is? Probably like nine. Fuck, we're going to need- Real slow. We're going to need a long- Down to the train tracks. Down to the train tracks.

Down to the train tracks. Fuck. We're going to need to call Tom Hardy to get the deep, heavy drugs. Get Tom Hardy deep in me, you know what I'm saying? Oh, actually, though. But I always felt like jeans, easy, chill. Yeah. And then I'm like, what item of clothing is not easy and chill

because you just put them on the same way? Pants. But, like, you put clothes on. It's no more high maintenance than anything else. Yeah, you just put it on a skirt. You look great in a summer dress. But I've come back from a holiday. I've had all this time alone to think and be like,

what am I fucking doing? Life's too short for me to wear something just because I feel like people aren't going to judge me. So I'm all in on dresses and all in on fun stuff. Little shorts. Worn a lot of little shorts, things like that. I love you in a little short. Thank you. But I'm just also vowing to, like, be a bit more silly

and, like, have a bit more fun and just, like, give a bit less of a fuck and just, like, enjoy things a bit more. Love it. And I think that jeans are the shackles on me. I haven't written that down. That was so weak. That was poetic as that down That was great That was great But I mean

I just think like I actually love jeans And other people like When I see So Your wife Bridget Ryan Yeah She looks great

In a pair of blue jeans She does She's got a great ass She does She's a jean girl She is Her uniform is like White t-shirt And a pair of blue jeans. She does. She's got a great ass. She does. She's a jean girl. Her uniform is like white T-shirt and a pair of dark blue jeans. Yeah.

Levi's rib cage wide leg. Like they're the jeans that she wears. And she looks great in a pair. And I go, oh, that's great. And then I put that outfit on and I go, it doesn't really look like I imagined, but I can slay something else. And I'm just thinking like like she's not wearing what you she would she would see what you just showed me and she'd go i wish i could do that and i have worn she wants to be that person i have worn clothes to your house before and bridget's gone

love that outfit babe wish i could pull that off and i've gone you you're way hotter than me you definitely could but like i don't know about that but it's so funny that like everyone's thinking the same fucking thing. Yeah. So I'm just actually not going to think about it anymore. I'm done. I'm fucking done. New year, new me in December.

30 fucking years old. I've decided. Yeah, new me in December. Being in your 30s looks good on you, babe. Thank you. And thanks for saying babe. Thank you. I'm leaning into that.

Thank you. Great. You know what? It's a great day. It's a great day to have a great day. It is a great day. I've got a great you love to see it as well. Great. You know what? It's a great day. It's a great day to have a great day. It is a great day. I've got a great you love to see it as well. People on the correct side of history would have on the 1st of December

put up their Christmas tree and I will not hear anything else about it. You put it up earlier, dead to me. You put it up later than that, also dead to me. 1st of December, there's no other way to go. That's what you do. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. I don't know if you saw this. This went a bit viral last week.

I was bawling. A guy went into the Vic Gardens K-Mart and paid off all of the Christmas lay-bys for all of the toys that people had put on lay-by, probably in the fucking July Christmas toy sale. You know how they do that every year. Someone went in and paid off every single lay-by, probably in the fucking July Christmas toy sale. You know how they do that every year. Someone went in and paid off every single lay-by that was in the thing. And they're anonymous.

They've said, I don't want to be thanked. I just want to do my bit for people to have a great Christmas. And then so Channel 7 or whatever went down because everybody got a notification being like your thing's been paid off. And they all thought it was a scam. And so everyone's ringing the Kmart. Just pay this $4.95 collection fee.

Yeah. And everyone's ringing the Kmart and complaining that their info's been leaked. Then they end up going down there. And Channel 7 were there when the people were there and they were crying. They were like, my kids are going to have a great Christmas now because it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen and like just beautiful. And you obviously don't have to do something like that to do something nice at Christmastime,

but that is so beautiful and selfless. Like producer Cam's bawling. Look at his fucking face. I think it's kind of similar to childhood, you know. Yeah. Just seeing your mum every couple of weeks going there and paying what she can in labour just to buy some fucking clothes. It's a big thing.

Yeah. And Christmas time is fucking rough. Yeah. Like, especially because as a parent or as an aunt or whatever, you know, you just really want to like have the best day for the kids in your family or like that are close to you. I'll tell you what's crazy. How do I say this without saying it? The fact that kids get presents from both Santa and the parents equals a lot of presents, right?

Yeah. It's fucking hard when you've got lots of kids. In Camelot, you've got six. Six boys. Yeah, six boys. And there's like, have you seen those things that's like, if Santa could give like not a PlayStation? Yeah. So that like other kids who don't get that from Santa,

like make that from mum and dad. Yeah, it's a good call. But anyway, I thought that was really beautiful. I don't want to ruin this beautiful moment, but like I'm going to make sure that Mabel's good presents are from mum and dad because. You want the credit. Yeah.

Yeah. Obviously. Fuck that other guy. It's like getting all the credit. He wasn't up all You want the credit. Yeah. Yeah. Obviously. Fuck that other guy. Some fucking other guy is, like, getting all the credit. He wasn't up all night during the year. Yeah. He was sitting in the North Pole. He wasn't in here slaying away.

Slaying away over a hot kitchen. You know? No, I agree. But I thought that was such a beautiful story. And, like, Christmas time is fucking hard for lots of people for lots of different reasons. I thought that was really nice. And also local chat because it happened in Richmond.

Good things happen in Richmond when you're not in it. What about this podcast? I'm in Richmond right now and it's fucking this gold is being created. What are you talking about? Surprised there was much money left in the economy when you were out of town. It was Tony. Yeah, I'm like some lovely person has gone down and done this. when you were out of town. It was Tony. Yeah, I'm like, some lovely person has gone down and done this.

You know how I know it's not Tony? Because if it was Tony, she would be there in front of the cameras at Channel 7 being like, I'm just a great person. I just wanted to do something nice for the community. I'm just a great person. Tony Anonymous Lodge. Buy my book. Yeah, and Ryan Chon is around the corner somewhere. And they're giving out free scooters out the front. You just grab it. Yeah. And Ryan, John is around the corner somewhere. And they're giving out free scooters out the front.

You just grab it. Merry Christmas to that fucking arsehole. Cam's cried and we're all kind of in tears. So I don't want to... I actually get emotional. Back it in. Okay. My love to Zed is my daughter, Mabel.

Yeah, I didn't see her for a few weeks. She grew up a lot in those few weeks. She's like sitting and crawling and climbing and doing all sorts of stuff. She's such a happy girl. She really is. She's got a smile that looks like her face is going to just crack open. It does. It like opens all the way.

It's like she's going to swallow her own face yeah so um it's really strange like when you think if someone said to you what's your proudest moment you would kind of i don't know why the obvious things are like i don't know graduating college um a sporting achievement or like these big life moments but then seeing mabel it's like nothing like that it's like the smallest of things right so um my biological family in austin who i spent thanksgiving with yeah um we actually lost a member of our family to suicide this year and it's um it's it's really and what i didn't realize is like you don't just like lose them once and then that's it it's like their birthday the next Thanksgiving the first Christmas and like all this kind of stuff everyone else's birthday yeah like you go I wish they were here yeah

and and so I'm new to this family like we found each other on ancestry like I was adopted so this is like my biological family. I don't really know them that well and they don't really know me that well. How many years ago was it that you found them? It was like four years, but there was like a pandemic in the middle and we didn't see each other. They're on the other side of the world. And so it was a very important Thanksgiving

because it was the first one without Nate. And I almost felt a bit weird. Like I was this like token random funny story you know I don't like we don't know him that well and it's just a very tight family being together for decades and then we've just met and we've just rolled in and it's just a very important day yeah and it was just quite obvious that there was like there was a spare seat you know what I mean yeah it was just very obvious that no one was there and it was a really awkward day and it was a really tough day but Mabel didn't know any of that.

And she just came in with like the biggest smile on her face. And it just made the biggest difference to the day. And it was just like this beautiful distraction. And to have Nate's parents, you know, getting cuddles with a baby. And she's the first baby of that generation. Everyone's older. And like I said, you often think about being proud about these big moments but i just remember looking at her and being like fuck i'm just so proud of her

and i'm just so proud of me for you know we turning up here and like giving this beautiful gift of these smiles and giggles and falling around on a really tough day and um yeah i don't know it was just a really beautiful moment i just remember looking at her and being like, geez, you're making a lot of people really happy today, which, you know, it's not a happy day for us, but it's been, it's slightly better because you're here. Yeah. That's really nice. Yeah.

And I think like your family, I get feeling like, oh fuck, should we be here? Should we have not come or whatever? But like you made a difference to that day. And they love you so, like, that whole family. They came to meet and greets. They did too. Like, they came down and met us.

They waited for us to go and have lunch with them. Like, they, you know, they put their life on pause to come and see us. Like, you're obviously very, very important to them. And they're fucking lucky to have you because you are such a special person. And the fact that you were there and like that you stuck it out through something that most people would go, that's a bit too awkward for me. But you went and you took your babe and you had a great day. And like, well, I think the thing with like, when you talk about family, you can't just

cherry pick the good stuff. No, that's exactly right. Yeah. And they go, you know what? It's going to be really awkward. It's going to be really sad, but at least we can be awkward and sad together. And Mabel's there with a big smile on her face and look like her face was about to crack open, like you said before.

It really, it really, like, opens all the way up. Like, it's beautiful. And mum actually said that's what I was like when I was little. Oh, a happy baby. She looks like Bridget a lot more than Bridget's family. She does look like Bridget. But then mum goes, no, no. When she does that big crazy smile, I'm like, that's what you were like when you were a kid.

Oh, that's really nice. Thank you for sharing that. That's very special. No, you're welcome. All right. Let's fucking. Christmas and Thanksgiving and family and beautiful stuff aside. Tomorrow we've got masturbation stories.

Great. Back to normal. Yeah. An area we are familiar with. Actually, tomorrow on the show, this won't be worse than the barber's tower. I reckon it might be worse the time that I got in a fight with those kids at Kmart. With the pool noodles. With the pool noodles.

Yep. This is probably like top five fuck things I've ever done in my life. worse the time that I got in a fight with those kids at Kmart over the pool noodles. This is probably like top five fuck things I've ever done in my life. Oh no. It's called Socks on a Plane and I'll share it with you tomorrow because it happened halfway between Dallas and Melbourne on a flight and it's fucking Should I say it

or is someone else going to say it? I'm tired of these motherfucking socks on this motherfucking plane. Actually, though, Anna, I think I am now the real-life nightmare of a stranger on the plane. Like, I did something to someone else that they will probably never forget and not in a fucking good way. Oh, they probably sent in a confession. I saw this guy from Dallas to Melbourne.

It's not what he saw. It's what I did to him. Oh, my God. You might get disowned from your family. Yeah. They were really welcoming until now. All right. Well, we'll be back tomorrow with that.

Stick around. Fuck, stick around, folks. Love you. Bye.