Toni and Ryan - The Skin Of 52 Chickens

Episode Date: August 12, 2024

This gets pretty dark hahahaha but also I got into some strife while out for dinner lol Love ya!!!!!!!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge. Hello. And we are calling Taylor for some coincidence chat. I love coincidence chat. Hello. Taylor, it's Tony and Ryan. How are you doing? I'm good. How are you? We're good, Taylor. What have we... Oh, right. Sorry. I'm not going to interrupt.

Guys, we've got coincidence chat. Yep. All right, Taylor, I'm going to count down and we're going to say where we're from. Okay. Three, two, one. Eltham. Oh. Eltham.

Eltham. Eltham. And what month are you born in? Three, two, one. June. June. Oh, my God. Me and Taylor could be fucking cousins.

You actually might be, though, because you're adopted adopted so you don't know. And what day were you born? What day of June? 3, 2, 1. 28. So close. I've fallen asleep. It's so fucking boring. I was born on 11.57. Maybe it was like a crossover. What happens with twins if one's born at 11 1159? They've got different birthdays. But are they still twins? Yeah. Yes. Because scientifically like yeah. But they're not born on the same day. But. Taylor we could be twins. How old are you?

What hospital were you born in Taylor? Mitchum. Mitchum. Okay well I was born on a doorstep so all good. Is that how it works? No I think I was in Mooney Ponds and then they kicked me to the orphanage Mooney Ponds yeah yeah good chat though wrong side of the fucking tracks if you ask me

good chat though any Eltham goss you want to discuss Taylor like the fact that the pizza place is called House of Salad yeah that is unfortunate it just doesn't quite work yeah it's pretty funny like who wants to go to the house of salad to eat pizza? Yeah.

Yeah. I'm not eating anything else there. So, Taylor, will you approve today's podcast? Absolutely. Yay! Hey, it's Taylor from Eltham, and I approve this podcast. Yeah. I'd like to start this episode by addressing the elephant in the room in Tarp Tower this morning.

That I'm now a Woolies girl. Tony is a Woolies girl, RIP Coles. Goodbye. Also, I am logged into Spotify on my laptop as Tony. Algorithms destroyed, playlists shattered, friends became enemies, enemies became friends. Absolutely fucked. Well, you hit play on something before and I was like,

why can't I see that on my phone and my laptop? And then I was like, you son of a bitch. Have you heard anything good that you haven't heard before? Have you heard any Young Gravy? I haven't actually, but like I'm wondering if you've heard any show tunes or like because I've got a lot of musical theatre in there. Well, usually musical theatre is about 0% for me. Maybe less than that.

Maybe 30. 30 is probably what I would say. A lot of Taylor Swift, a lot of musical theatre is about 0% for me. Yeah, maybe less than that. Maybe 30. 30 is probably what I would say. A lot of Taylor Swift, a lot of musical theatre, a lot of Blink-182 and random like Perth hardcore bands and stuff in there as well. It's actually a very broad mix. What a mix though. Yo, I love it, personally, me.

So I'll be sitting here in the office like crying, then wanting to head to the Perth shops and fight people. And then a bit of Broadway. Really, the moods it's left me in I would describe as confused. I don't really know how to respond. Yeah, you're really ping pong between emotions. Oh, wow, wow. Let's get into confessions.

These are top confessions. It's TonyandRyan.com.au. You can admit these anonymously. Submit, not admit. Both, actually. Well, you are admitting. Take that back. Yeah.

Thank you. Sorry. Now, someone has given themselves what I assume is a fake name, and you may hear it when you hear it. I accidentally told a nurse I was great at giving blowjobs and it was awkward, so please don't use my real name. Instead, call me Schmatherin. Oh, hi, Smasherin.

Smasherin, oh, my God. Yeah, smash those tonsils in by the sound of it. So I'm, yeah, interested to hear how organically you could accidentally tell someone that. I say it with pride. Nothing accidental about it. No confessions or. Nothing anonymous.

No restraints. Oh, fake name here. Tony Lodge. As I fucking rule at sucking dick. My name's Tony. Yeah. And you can take that to the bank. The wank bank. You can take it to the wank. You can't take it to the bank, you know take that to the bank. The wank bank.

You can't. You can take it to the wank. You can't take it to the bank, you know. They don't care. I've told them. Yeah. They weren't interested. Continue.

When I was pregnant, I had to have a COVID test before I could be induced. The nurse warned me that the throat swab made most people gag, which I replied, don't worry. I fucking rule at this. That is so funny. The nurse goes, oh, you've had a lot of COVID tests? And I looked at her and said, no. What's COVID? The nurse just goes, oh, oh.

the nurse just goes, oh, oh, and then left the room, leaving both herself and myself mortified once I realised what I'd basically said. What you're implying, yeah. Yeah. I basically just admitted to a medical professional that I'm great at deep throating. And I think it's like sometimes nurses like to hear your resume. Yeah.

Schmatherin then says, well, I am, but the nurse didn't need to know how to hear that, didn't need to know that. Yeah. The other thing is that I reckon there's a lot of people that thought the same thing. They go, things are in my throat all the time. This isn't going to bother me.

It does because it's not the actual depth. It's that it's small and like tickles your throat that it's small and, like, tickles your throat. It's not actually something hitting the back of your throat because that's happened to me daily. But it's that it's little and tickles, which is not a problem of mine. Well, I would describe my penis as small as ticklish. Yeah, long and thin like a cotton swab. Hairy on the end.

That's not what you thought. You're not supposed to put it in your ears. You've always said that. I've tried to abide by those rules most of the time. Nothing smaller than your elbow. That's supposed to be the rule for your ears. Is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

How does Anthony Albanese feel about this? How does anyone feel about it? I just think. Nothing smaller than an elbow. Righto. Oh, I didn't get it. That's really funny. Thank you.

Confessor. Holy Noah. I accidentally gaslit my boyfriend into thinking roast chickens don't come with skin anymore. Oh. Another toddler husband just like Ryan. I always grab a roast. No, this is more devilish. Devilish? Yeah.

I always grab a roast chook with the weekly groceries and it smells so good. I can't help but sneak the skin off driving home in the car. It is fucking nummies, isn't it? One day my boyfriend says, I can't believe IJ stopped selling those chickens with the skin on. my boyfriend says, I can't believe IJ stopped selling those chickens with the skin on. I prefer those ones. It's been like a year.

I prefer those ones. Yeah, like the boyfriend's like, oh, those skinless chickens. No, see, you know what? I thought you were about to. I reckon that this boyfriend's done that thing like, oh, we don't come with skin on anymore. Yeah. Like this is your opportunity to tell me the truth.

Instead of confessing, I kept it to myself. I did some quick maths and it means I've eaten at least the skin of 52 chickens in the last 12 months and I've never told him my secret. God, you just can't say I've eaten the skin of 52 birds and it not sound fucked. Yeah. I'm glad we've tested it here today, but it turns out that that is not possible. Now, I love the skin of a chicken more like.

Do you know what I like? What? The parson's nose, like the crunchy little asshole. Yeah, it's delicious. It's actually the neck, but like the crunchy little asshole. The little asshole, yeah. That's the part that I'm into. It's really good, isn't it?

It's so tender. I love the skin. And when I'm like making a chicken sambo, you go like, it's weird to put skin in a sandwich, but like fuck off. As much as I love the chicken skin. I love it. It's just the perfect texture, right? It's a bit like, a bit fatty, but like crunchy.

But it's like so fatty, it's somehow sweet. It's like, oh,. It's a bit fatty but crunchy. But it's so fatty it's somehow sweet. It's like, oh, fuck, it's good. So despite our love for chicken skin, could you imagine if there was the skin of 52 chickens just laying here on the table? That's fucked up. I won't cut that's great. And it's sloppy and slimy. Do you know what's good?

The stuffing. Yeah. I'm trying to bring it back. Do you know when I do a chicken sambo, you go like either the roll or like bread or whatever and then like a little bit of butter. Butter. Smear the stuffing onto the bread. Fuck, that's a leap.

Then a bit of chooki. Yeah. Then my lettuce and mayo. Then a little bit of skin on the top and then the top of the bread back over. I think that might be the – sometimes a little bit of cheese in there as well. Yeah, you're missing one thing for the perfect evening. A condom to fuck after? No, two things.

A little bit of mustard. Oh, I'd rate that actually. Real spice. Nah, really spicy like American mustard. Gets in your nose. Yeah. That's when you know you're alive. That's what I reckon heroin feels like.

That mustard in the nose, good, good shit. Excuse me, sir, weird question. Can you tell me what heroin actually feels like? And he goes, have you ever had a chicken sandwich? I reckon it's close. I reckon it's close. He goes, it's like the feeling of 52 chicken skins. On the table in front of me.

RGA don't do those anymore. Ever since my boyfriend asked about the skin, I've stopped eating it on the way home. Oh, fuck. That's so suspicious. I know. It's too obvious. And then I don't know who's playing who in this story actually.

I reckon the boyfriend knows. He's playing the, yeah. I think so. He goes, oh, those chooks are back i he knows 100 because that's what i'd do to 12s ago oh that's weird oh they sell aero blocker uh woolies again but they sell it half full that's weird that is weird for him to go oh yeah might have had a little bit of that after you went to bed last night or whatever. Yeah, that's a bit of me. You know how we took home those little buckets of Maltesers after the tarp-a-thon?

Yeah. Don't worry. If you've eaten them all, they're not a kilo. Yeah, there were some issues about the weight. Tony and I won a kilo of Maltesers only to be handed a 465-gram tub. Absolutely disgusting. I'll need 2.148 of those. Sorry, I've just done maths in front of Tony.

And mentioned chicken skin in the same five minutes. And the mustard. Fuck, it's all happening. She could be anyone. And the Maltesers. Jesus. The confessor finishes with, I'll never own up to this, but I don't. Nah, the boyfriend 100% knows.

You're getting played at your own game, sweetheart. Keep eating skin. Ooh. Hey, it's Taylor from Elthamam and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout-out to a few of our favorite chicken lovers. Aaron Cass, good on you, Aaron. Oh, she dominates some chicken skin, Cass. Nikia Featherston.

Nikia Featherston? Wow, you're going to get those feathers out of the chicken skin. Get that fetish, son. Rita, love you. Hayley Alexander, hardly Noah. Bex Wilkinson, Hilary Weatherford, and Liz Stevens. Thank you very much for being part of our Patreon. We fucking love to see it, and we'll see you at the party.

See you at the party. That's what I always say. See you at the party this Saturday, September the 17th of August, somewhere in the world. We are throwing a party because it's our third birthday. Yeah. Looking forward to it. All the food and drinks all good, music pumping, everyone's invited.

All you have to do is find out where in the world the party is. So we've given you a lot of details. We told you when it is, just not where it is. Let us know your diet trees. No diet trees. Well, with the food, will there be like a gluten-free? Even if there was, you wouldn't eat it. I'm not asking for me.

Oh, okay. Well, I guess that would be up to. Is this beer gluten-free that I've had 17 of? I guess that that would be up to the hosts. Because there'll be food and drinks provided. Am I right that there's food? Drinks provided. Don't throw around food because we're trying to deal with that.

Okay, we're dealing with food. We're not dealing with it, but we're like sussing that out. Producer Sophie and I, oh, we've got an update. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Oh, it's between mealtimes, isn't it? Between mealtimes. From two to five. Have lunch first.

Have lunch. Grab your chicken skin at ****. Yeah. Hang on, hang on. Sorry, Tony. Tony has just blurted something out. When could you not keep a secret? My name is Tony.

Everyone shut up. Okay, hang on. Okay. Do they have chicken in Tasmania? Do they have chicken in Antarctica, which is where we're going? Antarctica would be a big ask with no notice. Yeah. Like they put the clues together on Friday and go,

fuck, I've got 12 hours to get to Antarctica. Which bar? Why are you saying it like Antarctica? How do you say it? Antarctica. You're saying it like Antarctica, like the woman from Turo. I'm off to Antarctica. Yesterday's clue.

Sounds like me when I'm sucking cock. Sorry. Cut that out, actually. No, clue. Sounds like me when I'm sucking cock. Sorry. Cut that out, actually. No, no. Beat that. Do something. How was your weekend? Because you've come in very dick-sucking heavy this week.

And by this week, I mean. For the last three years. Happy third birthday. Happy third birthday. You need to find out where in the world this party is. Yesterday's clue was Ben Stiller. Ben Stiller. Today's clue is a video from an OG tarper. Have a listen. Hi, this is the Big Twig. My real name is Ben and I live in the city of churches. Apparently, I am

a clue for the whereabouts of Tony Ryan's third birthday party. Ooh. Say no more. Say no more. Say no more. And. See you Saturday, 2pm. Have lunch first.

Have lunch first and plan dinner after. We are feeding you. We know you're parents. Do not message the big twig. No. He doesn't know anything. No. Like in general. But like he actually, he doesn't know. He doesn't know anything no like you get in general but like he actually he doesn't know

so he's not keeping anything from all he knows is that don't bomb him so i'm just i'm letting you know go buy his book but don't bomb him up buy his book but yeah because you won't be fruitful if you pre-order my book i'll give you another clue there'll be no don't if he does that don't trust him because he doesn't know anything else. He just read the script like it was like a hostage message. Yeah. Hello. He's holding up a newspaper.

I am a clue and still breathing. See you Saturday. See you Saturday. Yeah. What? I just sound like you're winding up for a big C next Tuesday. Oh, no. It's on Saturday.

Yeah. See you Saturday, you ****. All right. Are you okay? I'm sorry, I just nearly fell off my chair. Oh, my God, I'm funny today. Question. Question.

When you have to squeeze past someone, do you go arse or cock? It depends on the height. Interesting. Yeah, because sometimes like say if you're at like a theatre or a football stadium and it's like steep, sometimes when you go cock towards them it's right in their mouth. Right in the face. Yeah.

Obviously an arse in the face is not ideal, but I feel like the dick in the face is worse. So you think it's like situational depending on what way you'd go. Yeah, and how you can face. And maybe who it was, like if you knew him or whatever. I would also say an impacting factor would be like, am I just like in thin little board shorts? Oh, what you're wearing would also be a factor.

Or like if I've got a big thick jacket and big thick pants and maybe it's like a bit different. Okay. You know what I mean? Like if you're poolside and you're not wearing much, your genital face is like right up in there. Genital face is a lot. Yeah.

Just full stop. Yeah. But yeah, at a pool it's a bit more. Because at the pool at my place, when you get out and there's like a little step where people like by default just end up sitting. Yeah. And sometimes you have to like. That's cock heavy.

Yeah. Yeah. I've been sitting there. I've seen your budgie smugglers. Yeah. I'd like to take this moment to apologize to Sheryls who saw some shit. Yeah. It's all right.

She's one of your oldest friends. She's seen it all. Yeah. Well, Sheryls is gay and she's like, I'm really gay now. Yeah. That has cemented that for me. Thank you very much. All good though.

All right. So this happens in a restaurant. What have you done recently? What do you do? Tell me, what have you been up to? Torbs and I

went out for a sexy dinner the other night. We've ordered from this place before. The food is so good. And we're like, you know what?

Let's go out. Like we'll get a bit snazzy. We'll go out and like have a feed. How good? It's like Saturday night, 7 p.m. And it's really busy. Really busy. Oh, my God.

Foreshadowing. It's really busy. But I'd booked. So it wasn't as if we were doing that. Oh, any chance you got a table for two? That's not a Tony Lodge. No, it's not. So I'd booked.

And so we like get in there. What were you wearing? It is actually i think important i was wearing a long black silk dress fuck yeah like so slinky slinky slinky and just like a little cardigan on the top um because it was because it was cold and then i was wearing wearing Doc Martens on my feet. Fuck yeah. Like loafers. You've just described many people's dream woman. Yeah. I think I've described my own dream woman.

Yeah. Leg tattoos, like fringe was out. I looked good. I looked fucking good. And torbs looked fucking good as well. Anyway, and they're really busy. And like it's one of those places where I'm guessing that, like, they have a lot of seatings through the night but also, like, it was tight.

Like, packed. It was packed but the tables were tight. Like. They were squeezing every customer they could get through the door. Yeah, and I didn't know what you were going to say then but customer is exactly right. And we kind of, like, we get in there and we get like shown to the back kind of like there's like a courtyard outside

and that's where we are. And they gesture to our table. It's a tiny two-seater table in a row of like six tables. Ours is in the middle. Fuck. Yeah, righto. And there's a chair on one side and the other side is like a wooden bench seat.

Oh. So like a big seat that like everyone was sharing. So you can't like shuffle yourself in or out. So you're sitting on the same seat as other punters. Well, six other people because there's like six tables down. And then. So there's about six centimetres between each table. Like I'm not fucking you up.

Half a baby's leg. Literally. Mabel couldn't squeeze through there, let alone regular people like us. And like as a beautiful fat woman, I go, fuck, do I want to pick being on the seat in the aisle where everyone's like come and then every. oh, sorry. Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry.

Oh, sorry. Every time someone fucking walks back and forward. Yeah. Or do I want to bite the bullet, do the shuffle down the six centimeter corridor, not a euphemism. And I go. That's an awful choice. Literally, is there a third option where I shoot myself in the head?

Yeah, I'll go see. Thank you. I'll actually just get Maccas on the way home. We'll just order Uber Eats from home and that's what we normally do and I'm not faced with this fucking horrifying option. There's no good option there. No. And so.

Yeah, we had a booking for 12. I said, can you do that? Can you book for four people and only two people? And you go, the others missed the bus people and only two and you go the others miss the bus anyway I go I'll squeeze through six centimeters

fuck it's tight like I'm talking fucking anyway so I go alright I'll squeeze through the table ours is there the tables on either side are both just two people like on a date? Yeah. Is there food out yet?

Oh, yeah. There it is. Yeah, I don't know why that's worse, but it just is. No, it is. Yeah. They're tucking into their appetizers, this couple on the left-hand side. Yep. And I walk over and go, hi, I'm so sorry.

I'm just going to put my ass on your table for a few seconds. Like, hope you don't mind. Hi, I'm so sorry. I'm just going to put my ass on your table for a few seconds. I hope you don't mind. I've got a beautiful thick body and some of it is going to go into your polenta chips. I hope that's fine. Who ordered the steak? Oh, there's some aioli on there if you wanted a little bit extra. I've got some on there.

Did someone order the rump? Anyway, so this is where the arse or pussy comes in. Obviously, I'm going to go arse to them. Okay. Because if I went pussy to them, I'm like, I'm going to be like, how's your dinner? Looking at them. Facing them, yeah.

As I'm going through. Sometimes it's not about the genitals. It's about the eye contact. It was the eye. I'm so glad you're on the same page. Yeah, 100%. Anyway, and I'm like trying to make a joke about it, but I'm obviously feeling really self-conscious about like doing the thing.

And my bum is on the other side and I forgot about the terror that that was inflicting on the table we were actually going to be sitting on. Yeah. Every piece of cutlery is on the ground. I like swiped this table. It was like the table had been in a car accident and I swiped all the stuff off the table. And then anyway, so they're like on this date

and they look like they maybe hadn't been going out for very long. It was kind of new. It was new and fresh and yeah. So I'm like, oh, and then I sit down. I said leaning and then we kind of all readjust and we're fine. And I go, I promise I don't go to the bathroom very much. I'll hold it in. I've never pissed in my life.

So don't worry, like I'm not going to get back up. She's like, oh, if you need to get out, just let us know and we're like, it's fine. She was really, really nice about it. Anyway, then after that we're sitting there and the two people having a date either side of us and they're like talking and I'm like, well, I don't want to say anything because everything can be heard right now.

And so we're sitting there and we've got this guy, so like what movies are you into? And on the other side, yeah, so like I'll pick up the kids tomorrow. If you hadn't just stuck in the morning, I'll take Genevieve to her fourth birthday party. How is Genevieve? Oh, she's doing so well with soccer now. Anyway, and so we're hearing like these two conversations

and we're sitting there like dead silent. I'm like, I don't want to say a fucking thing. Because you're just on display. Yeah. We were just so close to each other and I'm just like, oh. I'm going to ask you a question that I don't reckon you considered at the time and it's probably a good thing because this might have freaked you out even more.

Yeah. Let's flip the script here for a second. Uh-huh. Imagine you're at a table with Tor more. Yeah. Let's flip the script here for a second. Uh-huh. Imagine you're at a table with Torbs. Yeah. And this beautiful woman. Easy to imagine for me.

Comes up and says, hey, I just need to stick my beautiful ass on this table. Ooh. Excuse me for just a moment. Do you reckon the girl is like, don't you you fucking look i didn't even think about that oh oh so then that's why they seemed cold because they were thinking about he was staring at me he's like staring at her being like i'm not looking i'm not looking and she's staring i can't see anything going on and she's staring at him going you better not fucking look better not fucking look because this beautiful woman who hypothetically had a lacy, slinky black thing on, had a fringe, Doc Martens,

just looking beautiful. And he's trying not to look. They went home and fucked and thought about me. Yep. Oh, the weekend's fixed. So I had a great weekend, you guys. I was like, oh, baby, you came so much farther than usual. I was like, yeah, I was thinking about Tony Lodge and that rum.

That juicy rum. We ordered medium rare with aioli. But honestly, like just wasn't really the vibe we were after. We were hoping to like sit there and sink two bottles of wine and whatever, but it was like not the vibe. And we're just like sitting there and we're like, we can't talk about anything because it was really intimidating how close everyone was.

And then so I was just like, oh, so what do you do for work to Torbs? And he goes, I'm actually a horse therapist. And I was like, really? And we just made up a whole story about him being horse therapist for literally the 45 minutes. They were in, they were out, they flipped our table and put someone else in there. But the whole time they're like, God, I thought she was a podcaster.

She's a horse therapist. She's married to a horse therapist. Wow. She keeps that really quiet on the show. Great side hustle though. Coming to horse therapy. Yeah. Yep.

So we just riffed about horses for the 45 minutes and then left. Check, please. Thank you. Bye. I squeezed back out of the fucking thing. Yeah, that's so weird. Yeah. Squeezed back out of the fucking thing. Yeah, that's so weird. Yeah. Shout out to any horse therapists listening, though, today.

Oh, it's an amazing job. I'll hook you up with Torbs. He's into the. Well, I spoke to a horse therapist the other day and she goes, when we go out for restaurants, I pretend to host a podcast. Yeah. Just to, you know, even the thing. What was she wearing?

It's black, slinky dress. Black, slinky, Doc Martens. Yeah. I got to get a love to sit. Oh, actually, slinky dress. Black, slinky, Doc Martens. Yeah. I got to get love to see. Oh, actually, this is fucking coincidence chat. Love it. Your story and my love to see it. Oh.

This is also a controversial love to see it because some people may say this is a bad story, but I think it's a compliment. Here we go. Okay. All right-o, fucking everyone. Hey, I can say it. No. Okay.

All right-o, fucking everyone. Hey, I can say it. No. My husband and I are such a good couple and so happy that when we sat down at a restaurant, it made... It made... It made another couple sitting next to us break up. Because my husband came in so happy to see me. I was so happy to see him.

We embraced and we had such a good time. I thought you were taking the piss out of my story just then. No, not even. The woman turned to her boyfriend and says, have you ever been that happy to see me? And the guy goes, yeah, I guess not really. And they literally broke up because me and my husband were such a good couple. Compliment or nah?

Because I kind of like, I feel bad for them, but I kind of, I mean, that's a great. It makes you feel really secure in your relationship. We are so good together. We're just breaking other people up left, right and centre. And then they go, oh, yeah, and they were talking about being a horse therapist, which is really interesting. It was in Preston the other night.

That's strange. That's strange. Oh, my God. I reckon it's a compliment, but also, like, you know, when you're, like, trying to, it's not bad, but it's fine. Yeah. And you're probably like, oh, maybe we should break up, but you go, oh, I don't really have a reason to, but it's not really, it's not bad, but it's fine. Yeah. And you're probably like, oh, maybe we should break up. But you go, oh, I don't really have a reason to, but it's not really,

it's not bad, but it's not amazing. Everyone deserves the best. Absolutely. Don't settle for good enough. Yeah. The enemy of a great life is a good life. Is everyone okay? No, I'm going to have to.

Take a moment. I'm actually, I'm going to have to. Take a moment. I'm actually, I'm not good with human therapy, just horse therapy. Well, pretend I'm far lap and say that again real slow. The enemy of a great life is a good life. Because if your life. It's not bad enough to make some changes. If your life's good and it's fine and you're like pretty chill and it's all pretty, you know, then you go, well,

why would I need to change it? Like you're never pushed into the corner of like. So if you know someone who's got a good life, are you therefore doing them a favour by destroying it? Well, I mean, obviously I wouldn't put it like that. But I feel like if people go, oh, my God, there is better out there and like I want to find it. Some people just don't know what's out there.

Again, you don't know what you don't know. Guys, we need to start dining in Preston. Yeah. Shit changes over there. Because if you haven't ever seen an example of what an amazing relationship could be. Like these guys saw in real time. Yeah.

Then, of course, how would you know that that exists somewhere? We aren't like that. What do you mean? The couple, we aren't like that. They're you mean? It's the couple. Oh, yeah. We aren't like that. They're like, oh, my God, they're so happy to see each other. And then you go, fuck, like, we haven't had sex in two years and we're not that happy to see each other ever and whatever.

You start thinking about all that stuff. So I'm really actually very happy for that couple because this is the thing that they needed to set them free. I'm moving to Spain. Okay. Yeah. My bad. For a great life. Okay. Yeah. My bad. For a great life.

Okay. Yeah. You don't think you've got a great life here? That's good. Okay. And then Bridget goes, where are you going? And you go, well, Tony said this thing and I just feel like I'm on the. Yeah, Tony said I can do better.

Yeah. Should I say that? Bridget and Tony are really good friends. Yeah. It sounds very salacious, doesn't it? Okay. Well, I'm going to. She's say that? Bridget and Tony are really good friends. Yeah. It sounds very salacious, doesn't it? Okay. She's like that bitch. She'd be like, oh, my God, I get to sleep in the whole bed by myself.

I'd love it. I've got a love to see here. I alluded to it at the very beginning of the episode today that I am now a Woolies girl. Yeah. We have started doing our food shopping online and it just gets dropped off on a Sunday afternoon, and we go, fuck, yeah, we don't have to go to the fucking shop. Welcome to the future. It's actually amazing, and we have never really done it,

but now that we – because when we lived in an apartment, it's like the admin of doing that is just insane. Well, they leave it out the front of the apartment building. It's a free-for-all out there. Literally. Everyone's just having, what's in there? Yeah, I'll take one of those. Oh, a bit of bread. Yeah, I'll it out the front of the apartment building. It's a free-for-all out there. Literally. Everyone's just having, what's in there? I'll take one of those. Oh, a bit of bread.

Yeah, I'll take that. Oh, free food again. Yeah. Oh, my God. God, we're dying hard this weekend. Anyway, so I get my online shopping the other day, and in the top of the order, there's, like, this little note in there.

I've got a photo of it to show you. A little note. A little note. And it says, the enemy of a great life yeah and i went i started to cry this little this little note here you go hey are you the same tony lodge from the podcast and tiktok we need you to know what reading's not my strong song no no neither is their handwriting we need you to know. Reading's not my strong song. No, no, no. And neither is their handwriting.

We need you to know that we love you. In case you are not the same person, we are sorry. But we love you anyway. That's nice. That's a nice touch, isn't it? How many other Tony Lodges in this world of cough and compliments do you reckon? Oh, nah. I reckon it's, I think it's fair.

Like some other Tony Lodges ordered something online and they send a little note and they're just like, what? And they open it and they go. Who's this bitch? Oh, is that that girl? Is that the reason I can't get the Instagram handle I want? Yeah, I'm trying to start my own horse therapy business and someone's got the handle. But I thought that was really sweet and it really gave me a smile.

Well, shout out to the crew down at Preston Release. Down at Preston Release. I thought that was so sweet. I also order my stuff online. Woolies. I thought that was so sweet. I also order my stuff online. Going to the wrong Woolies, mate. You're not going to Coles, are you? Nah, just kidding. How dare you accuse me of that. Nah, we're an

Aldi family. That's beautiful. Yeah. They should rename the middle aisle after me. Tony gets a letter. Ryan, welcome to the Ryan aisle. I like that. I do like that idea, the Ryan aisle after me. Tony gets a letter. Ryan, welcome to the Ryan aisle. I like that. I do like that idea, the Ryan aisle. But I thought you'd love to see it.

Really, like, brightened my day when we got it. And I was like, oh, that's so sweet. So thank you very much to our friends at Preston Woolies. We're back tomorrow. Yeah. Another clue tomorrow for our party this Friday. Saturday. Saturday.

Oh, my god. But is it Friday in Spanish time? Fucking hell.