Toni and Ryan - The Story Of Paige's Wedding

Episode Date: November 5, 2023

We've been asked, and asked - it's time to reveal. LOVE YOU PAIGE!!!!! Toni xoxoxCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author, best-selling Dr. Author, Tony Lodge, and we are calling Kansas City, which is in which state? Missouri. And we are calling Dolores. I can't believe I remember that. Double ring. Yeah. It's one for Kansas and one for Missouri. It's a border town. It's a border town. Hello.

Hello, Dolores. This is Tony and Ryan. It's a border town. Hello? Hello, Dolores? This is Tony and Ryan. It's Tony and Ryan. How are you doing? I'm great. How are you guys? I'm shit. We're well.

I love how polite you were just to make sure it was me, that it wasn't someone else that was very excited to talk to you. Dolores, will you approve today's podcast? Of fucking course I will. Oh, that's what we like to hear. Hey, this is Dolores from Kansas City and I approve this podcast. Alright, coming up today, a lot of people have asked about Paige's wedding, which was kind of the whole reason we came over to North America in the first place. Yeah, if you can cast your mind back, we're about to fill you in on the 12,000 billion people

that have asked the exact same thing. Everyone said, what happened to Paige's wedding? The full story. Yeah, coming up. Hold on to your hats, which is not a euphemism because I'm wearing a hat because since travelling around hair dryers in hotels, you really get what you pay for with a free hair dryer. You know what I'm saying? Oh, yeah. Okay. It's not good under here. You have been very hat friendly. Hat friendly. You have been very hat friendly.

Hat friendly, hat positive, I would say. Yeah, no, we're a hat positive show. We're very open to that. Now, a few weeks ago, what was it last? I don't know. To be honest, time means nothing. Yeah. And I have no idea what day, time, year, week it is. Yeah, or where we are.

No. Because of everything you just said said we were filling out a form and you tony louise lodge asked me ryan john's arm what my middle name was no i asked if you had what it wasn't even that i was asking what it was i was like do you have one i very quickly realized the area of my ways and realized that obviously it is john but seeing the realization of you on your face was um I don't know if you saw Monique DeRocha on the treadmill. She said I didn't know that John was your middle

name. I thought it was just like something you said. Did you see that? Yeah but you know. Okay well Monique DeRocha is basically the third host of Talk Out. If she didn't know then who are we to say? If she didn't know then maybe it's like fair game. You know what I'm saying? Some people wanted to back you up, Tony. And they said, hey, sometimes we're tired, sometimes whatever.

Here's some questions I've asked that, you know, in hindsight, maybe I could have just, you know. See, lay this on me. This is the support that I need. This actually seems like I've sat down and written jokes because some of them are just like so blatant, but I just want to like, these are written by tarpers who listened to this podcast and have sent them in. Oh. Sonny Lowe. Great name.

Great name. Sonny Lowe. Yeah. That sounds like the greatest new like Nashville like singer. It does. Hey, I'm Sonny Lowe. Yeah, I think we- And you're listening to R98 Wollongong FM.

We applied for a job at R98. We applied for a job there. Didn't get it. The afternoon shift. Not the slot for Tony and Ryan, it would appear. Apparently. Sonny Lowe asked her friend, what day is Good Friday this year? Now, I don't want to open coincidence chat, like, too early, but-

Don't. I know what you're going to fucking say. Go on. You're going to say about when I asked the date of New Year's. No, I know what you're going to fucking say Go on You're going to say about when I asked The date of New Year's No, I didn't Was that what happened? I said what date is New Year's or something?

Something like that last year But I meant the day When I was in high school I don't know if it was Shelly or Marie Because you were fingering both of them No, in health class At school um coincidence chat she goes like how lucky that good friday just lands on a friday every year i don't actually think that that's that dumb because everything else you go like oh it's the first Friday every November or whatever.

I don't think it's actually that off base, to be honest. Well, she wasn't calling conspiracy. She was just like, bless this world. Yeah. No, but I actually just don't think that's that far off because most things it's like, oh, what day is Christmas this year? Or what day is your birthday this year? Because it's same date i actually do how crazy is it sorry this is like not the same thing how crazy is it that easter is like based off the moon yeah that's that's yeah like of all the things in the world and we're talking about like jesus shit right yeah like why is that based on science

like have you ever heard two things that, like, didn't fucking add up? Yeah, but- Do you know what I mean? That's like being like, oh, yeah, my horoscope's actually based on physics. Like, it's just not the same thing. Although, but it's looking up to the sky and just making an assumption a bit sort of- Oh, a bit- La-di-da.

Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, I see. I have science. Just looking up to the moon. Oh, yep. It's Friday. I've decided. Should we do April 12th?

Yeah. How come? Because the moon's above me right now. Up next, Saskia. Oh, great name. My sister. Now, I reckon Saskia might have asked this and just thrown my sister on the front there. Oh, we've all done it.

Yeah. My sister asked my mum how she first met grandpa. Her dad, obviously. That's like, oh, you got like two older people in my life. How did you guys meet? Because I heard the story about you met dad, but how did you meet grandpa? Yeah, not great. No.

This is also a community service announcement. Okay. Annika's husband lost his leg when he was 14 years old. Yep. He was hit by a truck when he was riding his bike. Oh, my God. Lucky to survive and, yeah, lost a leg. So, Annika and her husband are expecting their first child.

Congratulations. Oh, congratulations. And her friend asks, Are you nervous that the baby will only have one leg? Is it a fair question? Well, I made the joke before that if I had a kid, would it come out with little glasses? But I was joking. You were joking. You were doing comedy.

Do we think Annika's friend was doing comedy or? Fuck, that is. And how do you reply? Like, oh, well, actually. I mean, unless our child also gets hit by a truck when they're on their bike. Which would be a horrible coincidence. Yeah. But like a great, like a horrible thing to happen,

but like a great coincidence. They'd have something in common, wouldn't they? Yeah. You know, good daddy-daughter chat. Like, I don't know. They could, maybe if it was the opposite leg, they could go halves in pants and shoes. I was about to say they could do a three-legged race, but they can't do that either. I'm sorry. They could do a three-legged race,

but they can't do that either. I'm sorry. They could do a two-legged race, which is the same. Which is just running. Usain Bolt's really good at it. Would you imagine at the school carnival? Oh, now, the two-legged race. Oh, bless up.

Love that. And Alex Fiasco, who we met in Chicago. Oh, my God. Crazy. It's Alex Fiasco, who we met in Chicago. Oh, my God. Crazy. It's so crazy putting a name to a face to all these names. Yes. This seems like Alex is doing gear, but since we know him, I know that this is legit.

Okay. Alex gets a call because he's left his friend's house. Yep. And he's like, oh, hey, man, what's up? All good? And he goes, bro, do you know where my phone is? Since you left, I can't find it. I've done this.

What do you mean? I have 100% done this. Being like, had my phone in my hand or like using my torch to find my phone. Like using a torch on my phone to find my phone. And being like, God, I can't find it anywhere. Yeah. I've 100% done that. I've also done it with my glasses.

Yeah. Being like, can't find my glasses anywhere. Yeah, well, they're on my fucking face. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, it's Dolores from Kansas City and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapions from the Patreon. That's Champion Tapas from our Patreon. And Tapas, Tony and Ryan podcast. Thanks for looking at me like that because I was about to sip my coffee.

About to take a sip of your coffee and I was was like I'm not going to do you like that Jamie Sanchez thank you so much Mel Whiteside Beautiful Mel The Stig who I don't know that And I'm like the only reason I know the word Stig is from Top Gear

Maybe it's the Stig Emily Shepard God me home Aaron Brown. Love you, Aaron. Guide me home to Aaron's Brown. Yeah. So I just want to, is this the best coffee we've had not in Australia?

It absolutely is the best coffee that we've had since we've been here. Guys, we're off like cappuccinos and flat whites. We're having like, is this Phil or just coffee? I don't know how it works. With half and half. Yeah. See, half and half, that's a bit naughty, but like- Is it?

I'm fucking coming around. Well, it's half milk, half cream. See, I always thought half half was like half no fat, half regular. For no reason, I just- I mean, it kind of is that, but like on steroids. Yeah. Because it's like cream. Cream.

I thought that half and half was half milk half water like i thought it was like watered down milk yeah so that it would like do the um the frothing no yeah but also the color because you know how like because do you know what i thought um that like whitener or what do they call it? Like creamer. Creamer. But I thought it was just made the coffee white, but I didn't think it actually- Creamed it up. Creamed it up, yeah.

And because like sometimes it's powder, I was like, how does that work? Yeah, I don't like- It's a weird thought. It's a weird thing, but we've landed on a good one today. Yeah, we have, yeah. This is the thing that everyone's been waiting for. And everyone's been asking about it, and sorry that we haven't mentioned it until now. It wasn't. You'll understand why. Yeah.

You really will. You know what I mean? Yeah. Let me take a journey back in time. Cam, play a harp sound. No, put it in after. No, that's what I meant. We start doing this podcast. Congratulations. Thank you. It starts going off in the US and people go, you should start a Patreon. Congratulations.

Thank you very much. I really appreciate the kind words and support here. So we go, okay, it's not really normal in Australia. It's new to us, but what a great idea. So we go, okay, it's not really normal in Australia. It's new to us, but what a great idea. So we started and luckily someone who works at Patreon reaches out and goes, hey, I saw you guys. Mary Ellen. Mary Ellen.

Great friend of the show. Shout out. Shout out. She goes, saw you guys just signed up. Do you need any help setting it up and getting it together? Which as silly as that sounds or maybe as straightforward as that sounds, it was actually really helpful because we had no idea where to start. So she goes, yep, the best thing to do is have four tiers.

So we could only think of three. Apparently. So I thought, wouldn't it be funny is if we, you know, there's a $4, a $10, and a $35. What if we went, oh, we've got to put a fourth one in because Mary Allen's reckons it's what we should do. So let's just for lols say $1,000 a month. Tony will use the money to become a marriage celebrant and we will come and conduct your wedding and the reason that we picked a thousand

was because we were like well it's way too much for anyone to do no if we make it 50 someone might someone will do that and i'll have to become a marriage celebrant surely not yeah surely not a thousand dollars aud by the way if that makes it better or worse. I don't know. I don't know. I don't get into currency. Sorry. No currency chat or time zones. Sorry. Currency, time zones, or weight to pounds.

Or COVID. COVID chat. COVID free, time zone free. Yep. So, Paige signs up for the $1,000 pretty much within the first week. Yep. And we went, well, I didn't give a shit because I didn't have to do the marriage selling for the course.

But I was like, Tony, I think Ronnie, you're going to have to study up. And Paige is getting married on October 26, 2023 in Pennsylvania in a small town. And we went, well, as much as we were joking, and I think we've talked about this many a time. Yeah. No empty offers. We throw it out there. You call that bluff. Then fucking jokes on you, mate.

We have to do it. Get your passport ready. Exactly. Yeah. And we actually had page on the show yeah which is why everybody is so familiar with the story we called page and she was like running through the airport or something wasn't she vegas on the way back she was somewhere but i think she was with her fiance they were celebrating we're gonna get married next year you guys are coming to the wedding and we're we're like how good's this so we say we're doing that and then the reason we're on this trip and doing meet and greets is someone in toronto goes well pennsylvania is just down from toronto you should come up and say g'day because there's a lot of tapas here and then someone goes if you're

doing a meet and greet in toronto like you got to come to new say toronto toronto there's fuck yeah sorry i can't say the second team You sound like The 5,000 people I met last Thursday Mate I'm just telling you You can't say Toronto Toronto It's so embarrassing

Toronto Toronto So there's a Torononian In the room Do I say Toronto Yeah Yeah okay Toronto

Fuck all of these So And so Then this whole thing Is born Out of Paige's wedding. And we're like, what a gift. We locked it in.

You didn't know you were about to move into a house. I didn't know I was going to have a baby. But years ago, we're like, fuck, we're going to Paige's wedding. Off we go. Yeah. I think that it is a very important time to add that no money changed hands. That is a really good point. We said it is a joke.

We're like, Paige, we appreciate the offer. But seriously, though, keep your cash. Because Paige said to us, like, yeah, I'll pay the money. And she actually said, do I have to pay the $1,000 a month for the rest of the time? Now until the wedding? And we were like, you know what? Let's lock it in and we'll figure out the logistics later. But keep your money.

Keep your money for now. Like, we'll figure that out you take someone's money later in the piece didn't we yeah because i'm now signed up and i get fucking emails every day like hey why haven't you done the next module and you fucking celebrancy course we are doing one in australia um but but so we do not take pages money because everyone's like you took our money we didn't we didn't take we didn't but um i mean hey she offered She did No

How fucking rich is Paige If she's offering She's like do I have to pay every month We should have said yes Yeah we should have said yes We'd be I'd be able to afford my own mortgage We'd be at the opposite end of the plane

When we're dropping Flipping around here I wouldn't mind turning left Thanks Paige That would have been good So We haven't mentioned Paige Since what

January Something like that Most of the year and I think a lot of people we started talking about the US trip as a whole and I haven't mentioned Paige a lot well because when meet and greets were like on the table and they were part of it that was kind of the exciting part for everybody because they were like when can I meet you and what will you be doing so should I just now now they're all up to speed. Rip the band-aid off, babe. He dumped her. Yeah.

And, yeah, let's let that sink in for a second. So they're getting married in 2023, October. Yeah. And then I think it was January this year. We get a message from Paige and she says, Hey, guys, look, I know that you've already planned to come. You've booked your flights. You've booked your flights you've booked your

flights the meet and greets you've taken my money no no that's not true um but um that they have sadly broken up yeah but actually not just sadly not just broken up though yeah like he fucking yeah but she is doing great yep she was like i'm actually this is the best thing that's ever happened to me and i think think it was like a great turn of events. Yeah. Fucked our plans a little bit. I'll freight up a day. Well, yeah, that's true.

That's true. You'll be able to see what we do with that day instead, which is phenomenal. Is that, oh, oh. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. I'm glad that we're all working here today. Yeah, you will.

Okay. Yeah, no, no. Are you in the room? I realised what we were doing and I didn't realise that was as a replacement per se. Yeah, nah. You will say that. So, you'll have to see that, which is, you know, I mean, Paige, is it as good as a wedding? No.

Oh, no. It's pretty fucking close. Nah, no offence, Paige. This has actually worked out fucking great for everyone. But Paige, a wonderful, wonderful person who we love very much because we got to know her. She was like the first listener of the podcast pretty much. Thank you.

But everybody is sending their love to you, Paige, because everyone's been asking about it and very excited for you. Now, is it fair to say she didn't get a lot of notice? Didn't he just kind of fucking up and left? Like, look, ours is not to question what happened. Yeah, not fair. It's not our business. But all I do know is that since we've chatted to Paige,

and like you said, after the shock of it all, she is like- She was like, I'm doing great. And I think it's one of those, once you get out, you kind of go, oh, maybe it wasn't as great as I thought it was. Do you reckon Paige copped one of those ones from her family? Like, you know when you break up with someone and then your mum goes, yeah, I never liked him, and you go, bitch, I was going to marry that guy.

Yeah, why didn't you speak up then? Why didn't you fucking, you know, like everybody, what's that thing? Like if anybody has any reason these two should not be married, like please speak now forever, hold your peace. Bitch, we're going to hold your peace. Because. Do you reckon they should update that for a 2023 edition so the priest goes, any red flags that everyone needs to put on the table?

Oh, my God. Do you know what? That's not what I thought you were going to say. I thought you were going to be like, hey, drop a thread if you don't reckon they should get married. We've started a Reddit page. You just let us know any thoughts, vibes. Yeah, check in on TikTok if you reckon. Any icks that you're feeling today.

Any icks? But, yeah, Paige is doing way better. He just fucking up and left. What a cuck. Yeah, he's a fuckhead. See you later. Fuck that guy. Dude.

Yeah, fuck that guy. Still a listener of the pod. Thanks so much. No, I don't know. That guy? No, I don't know. No, fuck that guy. Maybe we're going to be at his wedding.

Surely he listened a little bit. You'd assume so. I mean, maybe not. Maybe that's why they broke up. He's like, you have invited these podcasts now my parents can't come isn't there was two seats left at the wedding and they're like well tony and ryan are coming you know isn't that a thing in america where yeah when it's divorced yeah there's always a reason like a legal reason you know how they always say oh they've cited um irreconcilable differences or whatever but you have to it's why? Oh, wouldn't that be everywhere you would have to give a reason?

I thought you'd just say divorce and sign here. Because you can't just get divorced. Surely you can. Oh, I don't really know how it works. Never been married, never been divorced. I'm imagining that they wrote your name. Reason of divorce, Tony Louise Lodge. No, they wrote, got the ick lol.

Red flags.com. Maybe that should be like the wedding registry. Click here for gifts and click here to let me know anything. Oh, and it can be like an anonymous form. Anonymous Q&A kind of thing. Like our confessions. They can use our website if they want. No, this is actually because I think everyone doesn't want to be the asshole

who says, oh, I fucking hate this guy. Then they get married and you go, oh, it's embarrassing for me now. So everyone should just create an anonymous form that's like, if there's something wrong with this dude, you let me know anonymously and then I'll know. But you know how nasty people get when things are anonymous? When there's no face to the words. No, they don't get nasty.

They do. They get honest. I don't know if you've read the comment section on our videos. They get nasty. You've got your love to see. Turn your light on. Look, just to love to see it, Tony. Look, just before that, we love your page, and I know that you're listening.

Thanks for bringing us to America, even though you did not pay for it and you're not getting married. Well, and tomorrow we're going to do a – there's lots of questions about the meet and greets we've done so far, which quickly is Dallas, Atlanta, Nashville, Louisville, Indianapolis, Chicago, and Toronto, and New York. Tomorrow, people have been asking a lot of questions. What's happened? Did this go down?

What happened here? We're going to answer all those questions about the meet and greets tomorrow. Every question ever. Yeah. So that's coming up tomorrow. My love to see it is from Amanda Campbell. Sorry, I just remembered what I was going to say. And Paige, it wouldn't be possible without you.

So all of the people we've met is because you decided to marry that fucking asshole. Yeah, but you didn't. So like, win, win, win. We got to do this trip. We got to hang out with tapas. You didn't have to marry that fuckwit. Everyone's a winner except the fuckwit who's not married to you. Yeah. Shame. My love to see is from Amanda Campbell, which kind of rhymes

in like a really satisfying, like brain tickly way. Is this what? The dog? Yes. I have the exact same. You'll have to see it. Okay. Well, because it's such a good story.

Actually, I've got another one. Okay. Okay. Well, can I just fucking talk? Yeah, fair call. My name's first for a fucking reason. So it sounds bad, but it all ends up okay. Okay. All right.

So just flagging that for everyone. I wonder what happens. Can you not be a dick? Sorry. No, sorry. Our family dog got lost while we were out exploring in the bush about 20 kilometres from our house. After putting Facebook posts up and people letting me know

of sightings of the dog, like, oh, I think I just saw him, like, run across the road near the shops or whatever, we realised he was starting to get closer to home. They're like, oh, that's just around the corner from us. But the dog had been missing for three weeks. How long after missing do you start thinking about? I reckon two days. You're like, that dog is dead.

Yeah. I reckon two days because you're like, car accident, someone takes her, especially if it's like a... Like Pippa. Yeah, a dog like Pippa people would steal, I reckon. She's so beautiful and I really miss her. After three weeks of the dog being missing, he strolled into the front yard with a big smile on his face.

That is crazy. It is an amazing story. He wasn't found and he just rolled in. Rolled in. He goes, sorry, guys, I've been in America doing meet and greets with Taffy. Did you know that Paige's boyfriend dumped her? What an arsehole. Walked into the front yard with a big smile on our face.

Sorry guys, someone dropped me off 20k's from here and I've been wandering back for half a month. God, I haven't eaten anything. We're still pinching ourselves and can't believe he's home. You bloody love to see it. You do bloody love to see that. Amanda, thank you for sharing that because what a wild ride. Yeah, and in the You Love to See It thread in our Facebook group,

you can see a photo of the young guy. Doesn't he look stoked to be home? He looks so happy. And Amanda also, like, the biggest smile on her face too. How long, I mean, I even hate to ask the question, but, like, if Pippa got lost in the bush or whatever and then, like you said, after a few days you start to think, oh, the worst and whatever, how long would you said, after a few days, you start to think of the worst and whatever.

How long would it take for you to get a new dog? I mean, it's been 10 years since my mum died and I haven't gotten a new one of those. No, but to be fair, they are harder to find online. Yeah, well, you found two. Yeah, yeah, no, that is true. Not impossible, but hard. Someone did adopt me in Dallas. Do you remember that? I do remember that, yeah. No, that is true. Not impossible, but hard. Someone did adopt me in Dallas. Do you remember that?

I do remember that. Oh, I actually. That was actually very nice of them in Dallas. It was beautiful. We've chatted since. Really? Everything's going through. Yep, I'm going to sign the paperwork next week.

I don't know how long I'd have to wait. I guess my concern is. It would be a while. Oh, so you wait two days. You get a new dog. Yeah. The other one comes home and you go, this is fucking awkward. Yeah.

So Pippa walks in the driveway. She's walked 20 kilometres through the streets of Melbourne. Her paws are bloody. Yeah, and she walks in and she's like, mum, I finally made it home. And then she's like, who's this bitch? And I'm like sitting on the couch with another dog. Yeah. And you're like, this is new Pippa.

That's what happened with Paige, I think. Yeah, no, I have heard stories like that. Yeah, no, I have heard stories. My love to see it is, I believe this was in the Toronto airport. Toronto. Fuck. Fuck. I believe this is in the Toronto airport.

Did I say it right then? Yeah. But it's happened in most airports. Tony and I both saw a sniffer dog. And don't you just get real proud of him? Instantly. Yeah. Instantly you go, oh, he's at work.

And he's doing a good job and keeping everyone happy. Their job is so much harder than ours. I think that's why I respect it. Yeah. But the look on both, it wasn't just like, oh, it's a cute dog. I was like, we were both like, respect, getting to work, getting it done, keeping the peace, keeping the border safe. And we're both really just proud. Keeping the border safe.

You know the TikTok sound like that Reba song that's like, a single mum who works two jobs, who loves her kids and never stops. That's the song that plays when I see the stupid dog working. I'm like so proud of it. Labrador works nine to five, two jobs, keep food on the table. I'm a survivor. But we were both like proud, which is a weird thing to think. Look at him.

Look at him go. Like, yeah, you get it. And they come stiffy back like, I know you're just doing your job. Hey, babe, you keep going. You do you. You do you. But that was my love to see it. I love that.

Why it wasn't the Amanda story that we both were obviously hoarding. You do you. You do you. But that was my love to see it. I love that. That's very good. Why it wasn't the Amanda story that we both were obviously hoarding. That was great. I love that. Okay, thank you. Hey, tomorrow on the show, like I said, we're going to be doing... Meet and greet facts. FAQ.

Do you say facts or FAQs? No, you don't because that sounds like the word facts. Yeah. It took me a really long time, embarrassingly a long time, to realize what FAQ was. Every website's telling me to get faxed. Yeah, I don't understand. And also tomorrow, confessions. These are tough confessions.

And, well, actually, speaking of pages fuck it X, one of the great red flags in tarp history is in the confession tomorrow. Oh. And... Well, we did say, flags in tarp history is in the confession tomorrow. Oh. And. Well, we did say anonymously, tell us your red flags and your icks for people's weddings. So it makes sense. And I think, oh no, it's a tarp's husband that said it.

So they're married. They're like in for the long haul. So it's not to like, oh, that guy was a bit weird. It's like, I married this guy. Okay. And I'm not saying we're here to discuss whether she should stay with him because they've got kids and you know, they're... Okay.

I can't. But when you hear this, I reckon it'd be a thanks for everything till now, bud. Fucking... Catcher. Screech them tires. Oh, okay. Well, we got to talk about these irreconcilable differences. All right.

That's tomorrow. Yeah. Yeah. It's fucked. See you then that's tomorrow. Yeah, it's fucked. See you then. Love you, bye.