Toni and Ryan - The Sweatiest Hotel In Australia

Episode Date: October 25, 2026

Golden Ticket TARPer - Monday mailbag - Chocolate - love ya!!!!!BEST ROLO PUN IN THE COMMENTS GETS SENT A FREE BLOCK!!!Gingivitis video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCAlg11NXpIDon't Forget To Join Patreon As a Champion TARPer By Nov 1 to Get The Calendar!!patreon.com/ToniandRyanTell us what you reckon in the episode thread in our FACEBOOK GROUPWatch and subscribe on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan and get in the group chat with us!!!Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's so damp in there because of all the plants. So it's basically got its own fucking climate zone. Yeah. It's sweaty. It's sweaty. It's a wet heat. 365. It is wet.

Hi, I'm Helen from Kournesty and Scotland. Hi, I'm Randall from Adelaide, Australia. Hi, I'm Faye. This is Nola. This is Koko. We're from Leeds, England. And I'm a previous to be a podcast. What an amazing day to be listening to the Tony and Ryan podcast.

They all are. But, I mean, this one's a special. good. Maybe, maybe not. I'm Ryan. This is Dr. author Tony Lodge. And I'm wearing my Save the Preston Market t-shirt.

You really are a man of the people. It's wonderful to see. It is, are we saying it's a size too small or am I just jacked? Like it's really, I'm bulging out of it. Maybe both. I'm jacked in the gut.

You're in a balking phase right now. Yeah, I've been in a balking phase for 15 years. Me too, your friend. It's going very well. Yep. So I love it and you have donated money to the community that we love so much. Thank you very much. So the thing about the shirt being a little bit too small is that we did order the correct size for everyone.

And then they emailed us and they said, we're so sorry. We actually haven't sold those shirts for a year. Like we've been sold out of the shirts for a while and we just like forgot to take them off a website. Yeah. Because, you know, it's like community runs. Yeah. Fair enough. It's not this huge conglomerate like selling fucking merch or whatever.

And maybe that's on there. Maybe they should be. And they go, in the bottom of a box, we just found a medium. Do you want that? And Charles's like, yeah, okay. So we got that and a tote bag. Which, I like the tote bag. I'll use this.

Now, didn't someone, when we talked about the Preston Market last time, someone from overseas has messaged through? So somebody messaged from New York. New York. Very fancy. Ever heard of it? I have. Apparently it's lovely.

Not this time of year, maybe. I've got an excellent joke to tell you soon about New York. Oh, I can't wait. This is one. Wonderful. Anyway, so after we talked about these shirts on the podcast, someone from New York Messaged and was like, I love a fun T-shirt. I've gone on the website to order one. You guys have sold out the Preston Market. And I had to tell them, whilst I'd love to take credit for, you know, building up the community, getting Tappas to spend money for this amazing

this amazing cause. unfortunately, no, there has been an error. They sold themselves out 18 months ago. Yeah, and then just didn't tell anyone. And you know what? That's on us. Sorry for going to the website. Actually, no, that is on them.

I reckon they need to really get their head around being a merch business with a market rather than a market that like sometimes updates the T-shirts. Yeah, look, do you want to be a feel-good organisation? How many markets in Melbourne have inquiries for merch from New York City? New York City. You know? Like, I think that's pretty huge. And if people from the press and market from Save the Presid Market are listening,

maybe restock. I'm sniffing a fucking version too. We've been talking to our North American tarpers about, like, if we did some shows, like, if, hypothetically, maybe, like getting a gauge of what cities people are in, where can we go, how can we like, oh, that city's close to whatever. Where are they? So there's a lot of chat. Actually, do you know who's top of the list?

No, I don't. I don't know anything. I don't know anything in general. Yeah, have a guess. Seattle. Seattle's up there, but Toronto. Fuck yeah. I love Toronto.

Now, one that's... It's changed since this morning. Oh. There's a new top of the chain. Is it... Does it start with an M? No. Milwaukee.

I need to talk to you about Miss Milwaukee. Yeah. That's where Trixie is from. Really? So there was... Tritzy. I put the other day in the group chat on Patreon. I was like,

I should have told you about this, by the way. I was like, if this comment gets 300 likes, we'll do a show in Milwaukee. Great. No, I love it.

I'm on board. Yeah. And because there's a lot of, apparently Minnesota and Milwaukee, that whole area, it's like a bit of sleeper area, but there's fucking heaps of people and like big acts never go there.

We got a lot of, remember when we're in Chicago, people are I've driven from those areas. Those areas. Well, because I don't really know what the difference between. No, me, I know.

And they kind of got a similar accent, like, the further up you go, the American accent gets real Canadian. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they're like almost border. How far's Milwaukee from Canada? Can I add another fun fact while Charles is Googling that?

Is that Milwaukee is like where bridesmaids is based? Sick. Like that's where they live. We could go and ride on that electric gate like she does in the open scene. Yes. She fucks John Hamm. Charles, I can't really see that because we do have some pumpkins in the way. So there's Milwaukee.

Oh, is Milwaukee on the coast? Oh, no. It's on the lake because that's for Chicago. I thought that was the ocean. Oh, Minneapolis is way over there. Maybe I'm getting those too confused. But yeah, that whole region kind of, they all have to go to Chicago, but they're their own people. Lake Superior.

Superior to what? That's what I want to know. So hang on, we got Minnesota, Minneapolis and Milwaukee, and you're telling me they're three separate things. I don't know. They will start with him. Make a decision. I just want to let you know that I don't actually know which one I'm talking about. And maybe I thought that was really going well because all three of them in my mind were contributing to the same tale.

Yeah. Yeah. But then I said the joke and I'll tell you the joke and I want you to like it. Oh, I love it. I said, I predicted what Tony Lodge would say when we went to Milwaukee. Is there any of the two things I just already said? Because that's pretty crazy. You have said it, but maybe not in this context. Okay.

I'm Milwaukee in here. I'm not to say that. Yes. Yeah, I know you. I know you. I know you. That's good stuff.

And I then commented in the Patreon group chat. That is good stuff. And everyone said, yes, it is. Cross over with a New York joke, which I also love. Yeah.

Do you know that New Yorkers? Well, it was you saying the New York joke before that pinged my brain. I was like, why have I said this very recently? Do you know that New Yorkers love the Preston Market? It's all they're talking about.

I actually read it in Timeout New York. York. They're like, we need to save the Prostin America. Well, I actually spoke to Andy Lee about why he got married in New York and he goes, because how else would I find out about the Preston markets? Do you know what they should do? Why don't I fly all the biggest influences in Melbourne to New York City? Because where else would we learn about the Preston Market?

He's never been North of Bell Street, and that's okay. But you know what? He hasn't. He hasn't. In fact, I don't know if he knows what Bell Street. I don't know if he knows what Bell Street is. But that's fine. He hasn't been more north than Clifton Hill.

Besides going to the airport. Yeah. And the airport doesn't count. Nah, it doesn't. Because he probably goes to a different airport to us. No, they're both there. Are they? They're next to each other.

I didn't. I don't even know what the private airport is. Oh, listen to it, would you? Oh, well, sorry, I've had a hard line. Yeah, it doesn't even know where the private jets leave from. Oh, turn it up. Don't you reckon that at old mates like Andy Lee's Australian pub in New York? they should sell Save the Preston Market merch at the pub.

Whilst I... That's probably where it all is! Whilst I agree, I think they've got their actual business to merch ratio right. I have been seeing them slinging a lot of merch. You know what I mean? Every single person at that wedding... Yeah. Was wearing a hat the next day and that's pretty good.

That's good branding from them. We'll fly over. You've got to wear this cap and a few shots, though. Well, Jane, our friend Jane, who worked on the tarpathons. like so Tarpers would know Jane, I was her bridesmaid, she married them. I didn't really, I thought she was just attending. I didn't realize she was doing it. Yeah, well, so Jane and her husband, Darcy both like work for Andy in like different ways.

But yeah, she married them. Isn't that so amazing? That's so cool. Yeah. Sorry, is it okay if we do some work stuff? I will allow it. So we've been talking about the calendars. I'll keep it tight because I'll listen.

No, no, no. No, so we've been talking about calendars. And speaking of travel. Yeah. If you sign up to be a champion Tapper, You get a calendar right. It's in the bag. It's all good.

It's coming your way. It's more, we are so sure you're going to get a calendar. We are more sure than the people at the Preston Market selling the T-shirts. Like, they weren't. Way more sure. Like they weren't sure what they were slinging. Yeah. You will get a calendar.

Yep. You also get to opt in, if you want, for Lung your Risons. You get to opt in to have a chance to win the golden ticket, which is where we will fly you from anywhere on the earth to Melbourne, to hang out with us at Tape Tower. We also will pick you up in a limo. You get a beautiful little hotel and like we'll fill it with goodies and all of our favourite Australian things.

Some tarppers will give you recommendations and where you should eat and drink and have fun. Yep. Charles might go nightclubbing with you. That was also being mentioned recently. We forgot that last year Charles went nightclubbing. We've gone to get tapper. You're just saying go nightclubbing makes you sound even older than you are.

Oh, what is it? Not that. Just club out. Go nighting. Oh, clubbing. No, I think wrong way. No, nighting. Yeah, what we do is we get our big swords and we walk around town and going, I know.

You went laughing like you went to like a Renaissance bed. We did it. You did. We went nighting. Yeah, sorry, what is clubbing? Just clubbing. We went dancing. We went out.

We went out. Charles went out. I went out with him too because we went for lunch. That's not out, out. You went for lunch. Yeah, we went out. Lunch. And you went to lunch.

Well, anyway, okay, all these things are included in the prize. Nightclubbing, not sure. Lunch definitely. Nightclub dancing. Nightclub dancing for a boogie. That's fun. We could all go. I love having a boog.

Do you know what? I feel like my life is missing at the moment. Having a boog. When are we having a boog? Your desire for boogging is not up to your ability to have ankles. But your feet and ankles aren't born for dance flaws. They're born for falling the fuck over. Do it come clubbing this Saturday in Canberra?

We'll go to Mooseheads. We've got three levels. We'll go to Academy closed down 10 years ago, but we'll go to whatever it's called now. Okay. Is it like in the hotel that we're saying? No. It's close. It's walking distance.

Oh, it's walkable. Okay. Because I'm walking in Canberra. You get it? Okay. Anyway, so there's been a lot of chat. Do you want to go out in Canberra? Because we're there the night before.

I'll go out. All right. And then I'll take us to, because we don't have an early live show the next day, a flight home and then a live show the day after in Melbourne. Yeah, no, I've got it. I will organise this dinner because if the restaurant I used to fucking love is where you're still cracking. It's really close to the hotel. Fuck yeah. Yeah.

And then. There's this underground hidden speak easy. That is a bit of you. You love a secret door And I know the secret door You love a secret door Do you want to tell you how I know About this secret door

The first time I ever found it When I lived there By accident, trying to find a toilet No, but I have poo there I laugh Sorry, I saw you doing the maths then Of whether you were going to say

Pete or poo Yeah Pew I went to see Tony Martin do stand up In a random bar Oh shit! And then afterwards,

Sizzletown. The Premier of the ACT, it's called the Chief Minister of their Andrew Barr. He's like... Andrew Bart up. He is. He's a fucking legend. Is he still the PM?

I hope so. He should come to our show. Can you get Andrew Barr? It is unfortunately sold out. Ah. Yeah, Andrew Barr, Chief Minister of the Australian Capital Territory. He looks like,

I love that he has glasses. For people like me, that's great. He's a fucking legend. So anyway. Seeing people of power in glasses is just so much for our community. He comes up to me at the end of the Tony Martin gig and goes, hey Ryan, do you want to get a secret sneaky drink? The Premier took you to the.

And I go, what are you talking about? And he goes, I'm going to go that way. You go with my husband that way. He'll show you this side door. Oh my God. And then I'll meet you down there. And I go, what the fuck are you talking about? And he goes, dude, trust me.

So then we walk out of this. like kind of weird upstairs pub comedy room thing down and around the corner and suddenly I'm fucking halfway through a nogroni in an underground secret bar were they thinking you were interested in a three person thing is it like a sex thing no it's a bar where you drink oh but it just sounds like oh you go that I'll go that like people won't know where together I'm like oh no because I think the premier always has there's always someone else around like security and stuff or he has to like go shake a hand or fucking you know and so he goes yeah like don't fuck with that because he he's like he's a handshake guy he'll go and say hi to everyone he's just

one of those you know like old school politician old school politicians i'd be like that if i was a politician yeah so he goes let me go do that stuff and then like um i'll meet you down the back yeah yeah and then we're fucking out some side door down a thing and like i said all of a sudden i'm halfway through and a groaning and it's like fucking and you're like where am i yeah so i can't promise that I can't promise that when you come to Melbourne if you're the Golden Ticket Tapa. But if you come to Canberra Live Show and you're the premier. Yeah, then we would love to invite you to the place that you invited Ryan one time. But he is still in office.

Oh, how long? Oh, that's a long time. Are you allowed to just keep being the Premier? Yep. Oh, I don't have his... Okay. No, I was wanted to know if I've got his number and I just typed in Andrew and the only thing that came up was Michelle Andrews. Oh, from Shameless.

I'll ask her if she's got Andrew Barsdown. Yeah. Ask you're a chief She knows him But what I was going to say Is well something we haven't included in the prize list This year for the golden ticket tapper Is taking them through the drive-sword car wash

And getting a frappite We haven't made a big it We haven't mentioned it And it's crazy because that was the most fun part Don't mention when I spanned the wheels on the fucking thing You know how they lock your wheels into the thing When you got right as we tried to leave Ryan's like And it's spanned on the metal thing

It was wet oh god And we all had a frapper We almost fuck wore them But that is included because that was so much fun. I want to tell you about a type of Tony. Me or Tony Martin that you saw in camera? No, Tony Lodge hosted the Tony and Ryan podcast.

I'm a fan of hers. It's great when you see people of power wearing glasses. It's great for the community. You coined the term passport personality. Yes. What is that for young players? So it's like the rush of like vibes and glam that you feel when you're in a different countries. So you or just on holiday, because whenever you go on holiday, whenever you're

packing for a holiday, you pack clothes that you would never normally wear at home. And you just feel like you say yes to stuff, you would never normally say yes to when you're at home. If you're at home and you go out for breakfast and you wouldn't like get a little bellini. No. But when you've used your path to go somewhere and someone goes, should we do mimosis for breakfast? You go. Yeah, absolutely. You go, yeah. And I go, why is this different to it home? Oh, because it's my passport personality. Yes.

I'm doing stuff that I wouldn't normally do. This is like passport personality plus. It's the personality that rushes over you when you're holding a sign at the airport. Oh, my God. Didn't we become fucking children? And everybody's looking at you like, oh, who are you welcoming? They're so excited for you. Yeah.

And then you decided to while we were waiting to, I don't know if you were in your pretending slash acting era, but do you, I don't know if you remember Charles, Tony turned into a fucking like, like, everyone that looked at her, she was like, ha, hello. It was fun. And then when people came out that weren't Jesse, we were just like, should we just pretend it's them? Yeah. And just get around them.

And then it's just fun. It's nice to feel welcomed at the airport. Yeah. And then other people are hugging. And you're like, they're that nice. Oh, and you'd walk over. Oh, lovely. Yeah.

Oh, how long have you been apart for? Yeah. I think it's nice. Is that passport. personality plus fuck that's too many peas. No, I like it. But is it called something else or is it like is that the... Or is that like passport by association?

I sense a passport in the vicinity because I'm in the international airport and I'm like overcome. Would you like to be undercom later today? My God. Patreon.com, not for the cum bit. Yeah, that's not part of it. Well, you can play your cards, right? No, that's not part of it.

It wouldn't be the first time Charles has hooked up with the tarpa. Um, especially. While you're at nightclubbing. Yeah. That's what I'm hearing. Oh, have we had an update on the girl in Hobart? Because we're there in a few weeks. I haven't even message.

Putting the hole in Hobart. Hey, Joe Eve, you know what I'm saying? I can't wait to go have a boogie in Hobart. Guys. This is going to be me. Where are the nightclubs in Canberra? Where are the nightclubs in Hobart?

Because Hobart, I'm leaving my daughter in Melbourne and Bridgett's coming. I was talking about Canberra. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. I was like, he's Bridget coming to Canberra as well. No.

I keep thinking that Canberra and Hobart at the same place. Isn't that crazy? They're not going to like that. Okay, well, you're not going to get tickets. It's too late. There are still tickets available in Hobart, so that would be great. If you want to put the hole in Hobart.

Yeah, if you're in Canberra and you can't get a seat, Andrew Bar, come on down to Hobart. Come on down, raising the Andrew Bar. Hi, I'm Faye. This is Nola. This is Coco. We're from Leeds. Hi, I'm Randall from Adelaide, Australia.

Hi, I'm Helen from Canishti and Scotland. And you're listening to the great Tony and Ryan. Big Kiss and a big spooky, spooky week. You can tell from all the spider webs if you're watching on YouTube. The set looks very great. Well done. Everyone, it looks incredible. Spooky champion tarpers.

Erin Stout, put on your Aaron. Carter Hootman. Thanks, Carter. Adeline Padalina. Thank you, Adeline. Night Hood. Good on your knighthood. Daphne Fisher

Oh, we're we nighthood then? Oh my God, we were just talking about nighting before. Do you reckon Nighthood is a cousin of nightclub? What about night time? Daphne Fisher, good on you, Daphne, Julia Sinclair, Mary Stein, Jack A.S., good on you, Jackie. Ellen Griffiths and Creasea. Thank you very much for being a champion tapper. And also, for any of the champion tappers, obviously we've got calendars,

galore and all and stuff. But we're also doing a live stream this Friday for Halloween. Halloween. Very fun, very spooky. So if you're on the fence about joining for all the other stuff, I mean, you might as well do it because you can join us on Friday live. Did I hear a rumor that the live stream is from my house?

Yep. Is that what we decided? Yeah, sick, sick. You were, yeah. But that's, we got locked in. Yeah. Yeah, sick. Is that fine?

I hope so. Great. I'll let the fam know. Oh, we make, when we're making stuff, right? Yeah. Is it kid-friendly making stuff or maybe easier without a toddler? I don't know what it is. Okay.

It might be cooking. Ooh, I've got a kitchen. Yeah, great. Well, I've got some bad news at front. What is it? Well, the bad news is actually from John Boy, who's a tarpa. Ryan John Boy. No, just coincidence.

His name is, it's John Boy, 81. Hi, John Boy, 81. Not the year you were born? No, you're 85. 87, fuck, dude. 87, sorry. 33. 85 or 7.

John Boy is from Canada and he watched Tony Lodge doing Midnight Sun dressed as Daphne. Thank you for saying that. In horrible news, says John Boy. Oh no. Seeing Tony has made me straight. And in worse news. Terrible news. I'm now straight and the woman who turned me is married.

Oh, I'm married. Oh, fucking rub it into John Boy. Sorry, John Boy. Well, not, that's aware. I won't because I'm married, yeah. April Hulton. Hi, April Hulton. After watching Tony dance as Daphne.

If I wasn't already gay, this would have been my awakening. You can't convince me otherwise. Oh, my God. That is so nice. Tony Lodge just fucking with sexualities all around town. And thank you for saying that. Now, there's been a lot of wig chat. There's been so many.

A lot of wig chat. On that video specifically, everyone's, like dye your hair red right now. Mango steen powder. I don't know why, but this makes so much sense. You've got to be a redhead. Camalea Valiali Lirilliria.

We need Tony with red hair in real life. I mean, that is real life, but it is a wig. But yes, I understand what you say. Dev Gieby, you look amazing with red hair. Thank you so much for saying that. Isla Sweet Pee said.

Illa Sweet Pee, okay. I hope you took some of those Whigs home, Tony. And someone else wrote, I bet Torbs watches this video a lot. Oh, okay. I haven't asked. I don't even know if he's seen it. He's seen it.

Liberty. Hi, Liberty. Like, men and women can't be platonic friends. Tony and Ryan, hold my wig. I do love the wigs. Yeah. There is, maybe it is a bit akin to the passport personality, but like, popping on a wig and playing a character, you really do feel unstop.

Yeah. Like it's very, very fun. Is that how you feel when you become Scoop John? What? Like you're just like unstoppable. What? I don't think that people know that I'm Scoop John. And I think you've just added him.

Oh my, I'm so, so sorry. Wait till Sven. Wait till Sven hears about this. Well, Sven and Scoop John are on the phone to each other probably right now. I can't believe you just told everyone about Scoot John. I'm really sorry. People are going to be mortified. That is going to be the scoop of the day.

Because you know when you're younger and you find stuff out and you're kind of going, yeah. Good. Thank you. That was awesome. You know what wasn't awesome? You're just doing that to everyone else with another lot of life's character. No, and I'm so sorry.

Yeah. I'm really, really sorry. I'm just so impressed with the. filtering that you just did that I'm like my and I I want to talk about it but we can't because of what you do you know it's amazing later I'm going out for a drink later with three of my best friends four of us there yeah oh it's a tear or do you want to come with us it's a tear we'll do a little five people yeah that sounds right yeah I got my sunglasses in my bag I can get down here's the five that are going out who's going Tony well it's not lame and feel because

they're in LA I love it when they go to LA or when they go anywhere because because I follow Liam's food tours. Yeah. And I messaged him the other day and I was like, I'm locked in. I'm ready for this. He liked it and that's enough for me. We gave him a recommendation there off to Toronto next week. Fuck yeah.

Are they going to Lodges Stadium? Is you calling that because you drank that baseball stadium dry? Or was that other place actually called Lodger Stadium? Well, no, that's called Rogers Stadium. And I said, what do I have to do to have it named after me? That's right. All of the people from Toronto will like, we'd rather it was called Lodger Stadium. And now it just called that.

I think they said if you ate every hot dog in the thing, they would name it after you. I think I just said that. Oh, okay. I don't think that was an official offer. All right, well, tonight I'm going out to a bar. I'm going to... Who are?

Who's the five? Well, you're all coming, apparently. I've had a late in bar. I might swing by. Is it Solano's? What's that place? You're telling the story. It's the Sophie Woods special.

Oh, Sardinas. Yeah. Tony? Yeah. Ryan. Yeah. Scoop John. Detective Dunn.

I'm going to meet him in person. And Sven. All five of us are going out to Salinios in Resa. Sardinas. Yeah. And it's going to be a wild time. That's crazy. And maybe we'll go to Al Jannas down the road.

I love El Janus. Yeah. Do you know what else? I love a Moondog's World. Moon Dogs worlds. Moond Dogs worlds. Look, the calendar's fucking sick. The calendar is really, really cool.

We've gotten so many people that are joining Patreon for the first time. because I replied all the DMs in Patreon. So many people messaging just like being so fucking excited. Lots of messages from people who the last message I got from them was this time last year. And the time before that was this time the year before because they just joined for the calendar and then fuck off. And honestly, yeah. And they turn up in October every year and fuck off again.

I love to fucking see it. Love it. Speaking, you love to see it. You know how an O.G. Tarp to remember this story. you had a friend who claimed they hooked up with the guy from Block Party

Yeah, Rochelle Chiriani's sister Yeah, she is kidding herself Yeah, no, so it turns out he is like very famously super gay queen Yeah Like love that for them

Yeah Yeah That's what we thought For a long time And I told Torbs that About 10 years after it had happened And he was like, I don't think that happened

I don't think that happened And it was just some guy in Perth telling people that he was from Block Party Yeah Wasn't Block Party just the coolest fuck party? I listen to Block Party all the time.

So Tapa and Nick Rosso, they've been doing some, like, detective work of their own. Oh. And they went, fuck, this reminds me. Bring that picture up. Would you? Um, was this the block party Tony's friend slept with? And what's that picture of there? That is so fucking, a fucking candy bar.

What is that bar? I've never seen that before. Well, it's a block of chocolate. And it's a bit of a party. Like a Halloween special or something that's come out. Sorry. Bit-bid a bit a bit. bit, this might be breaking news.

Is that not just marvellous creations, but Allens have done a copycat on the Cadbury? A copycatberry? Um, is this be a... I think that we might need to talk to scoop, John. They are some salacious accusations you're throwing out there. I believe that that's what it looks like to me. Charles, Google the Allen's block party and tell me exactly what's in it.

If I find some popping candy. Well, wouldn't that be absolutely... Do you like the popping candy chocolates? No. It really stresses me out. Okay. I can't really read it. Okay, smooth milk chocolate block by Nestle filled with fudge pieces, sherbet fizzie chips and mini smarties. Doesn't sherbet fizzy chips sound like a legal way to get around saying poppy candy?

Also, isn't it helpful that Alan's own smarties so they can say it and some mini smarties? I've got to say, the crunch on a smartie. Oh, that fucks, doesn't that? It does. I love smarties. And let me go you one better. You know you're in a little box. You pop, like, pound them all in your mouth.

You're like, yum. The smarties chocolate. chocolate bar is a fucking sleeper. The block. All Nestle blocks are sleepers and they all fuck. Crunch, milky bar, smarty. In a block. I'm going to name one that you haven't thought about in 15 years. Rollo.

Rollo. Rollo. You're taking. Go take it. Go take it. You're talking. No roll. No.

Roller. No. Roller. No roll. I've ordered a rollo block right now. It better be here by the end of the fucking episode, which is in about two minutes. The rollo blog. Fuck me in the ass.

I love a rollo block. Nestle! What are you doing? I'm sorry for saying about the copycabry earlier. I take it all back. Yeah, if we send this to the good people, take that first bit out. Can I just say something? And no one is ready for this.

and the people at the good people at Nestle haven't thought about it and no one's thought about it but are you ready everyone? Do I need to take a sip before we? Everyone take a sip. I've also got to calm down a little bit because I'm a bit puffed from a jumping.

Should I put my weird hydrolyte mix into this Halloween cup? Yes! That will help what I'm about to do. We do almost have to ban Ryan from drinks with non-neud. Yeah, yeah, that's fair. Are you ready?

You take a sip? You take a sip? Oh, that's a bit spooky, spooky drink. Are you ready? Ne, sleigh. They're not ready for that. I don't think any of us were. You warned us.

Yeah. You made us have a drink. I did. I did. I did. I did. And we still weren't ready. I know.

And we still weren't ready. Yeah. Neh. Slay. What a great click. What a great pun. What a great marketing idea for them. All of their blocks.

Fuck. All of their blocks. Charles, what? Give me a list of their blocks. Did we name all that? Did we name all that? No, I reckon there'll be some. Milky bar,

Rollo. Arrow! Only my favorite chocolate on earth. Golden Roth. Oh, for her pleasure. No, I think that's all of them. Yeah, I think we'd leave the strawberry arrow out. Milky Bar Milo.

Oh, taught to me. Talk to me. Oh, look at them all. That's their OG ones, I guess. Oh. Kit Kat block? Oh my God. They make Kit Kat?

Of course they do. Yeah, Nestle, dude. Oh my God. Fuck. Give the guys at Nestle arise. Fucking Arrow. Are you fucked? The best chocolate ever to exist.

I reckon the... Milky Bar mini eggs bar. Oh, see, again, the kitty, the copycat bar, I fear. I think the crunch bar is... Do you want to hear it? Is it the best bar? Is it the best block you can get? Do you want to hear it?

that you don't hate yourself for demolishing a whole block. It is thin. It's got the crack. Yeah. It is, do you know, the other great thing about a crunch bar? And this does not cross over all chocolates by the way.

So true. It's good, cold and warm. Like if you have... How warm. But if you have it like room temperature, like it's been in the cupboard instead of like, but not all chocolate is good both.

Nah, because someone, they're too cold, you're going to snap a fucking tooth off. Yeah, and you can't taste the chocolate anymore. Yeah, just tastes like cold fridge.

Do you want to hear a little tale about the first time I ever had a crunch bar. Please, because we do five apps a week and we're struggling to fill them out. We need to fill them with stuff. The first time I ever had a crunch bar was at the Lord Forest in Bumbray. Oh, that's a shame. That it was in the can't. It was in the mini bar and my mom let me eat it.

Oh, in the room. My mom let me eat it from the mini bar. Then she went to Coles and refilled it so that we didn't have to pay like $7 for it. She just paid the two bucks 80. When we used to go to the Gold Coast, we thought last day we'd go down to the safeways. All right. How many Safeways? Yeah.

And we'd go, yeah. Well, we went to the Aldeys and we got the, yeah. I just absolutely like So for me, the crunch bar, I can like smell the many plants in the lobby of the Lord Forest Hotel in Burbrick. Charles, bring up the Lord Forest in Bumbreit. It is a cylindrical hotel.

For people that don't know what that word mean. So what do you mean? Sylendrical. Everyone knows it. It's the shape of a can of Pringles, okay? A cylinder. cylindrical. It's round.

It's like a big cylinder. Basically, huge round hotel. All of the rooms are on the outside. And on the inside of it, like all of the balconies on the inside have plants growing all the way up around the thing. It is very, very damp in there. And there's a pool in the forest. So the whole place just stinks like chlorine. And then there's like two restaurants downstairs around the edge.

in the lobby. The indoor pool is in the lobby, but that's also where the food is. And it's so damp in there because of all the plants. So it's basically got its own fucking climate zone. Yeah. It's sweaty. It's a wet heat.

It's a wet heat. It's a wet. It's a wet. Tell me about it. And that little restaurant is where they do the breakfast. They've got like a, well, they used to have a buffet breakfast there.

And they used to have. The eggs are sweaty. And it was just so. wet in there and one of the muffins are sweaty the croissants like deflate because it's so wet yeah and um this is bumberry's nicest hotel by the way like this is like you know you've made it if you're like the crown towers of bumberry yeah and in that little restaurant there's like the gardens kind of that go all the way up start around that restaurant so all of the like it's just soil around and it's just like things of dirt and how do we make this wet place less wet let's just

Put dirt everywhere. I dropped a whole sausage in there, bent down to get it, smashed my head on the little railing thing. And the manager of the hotel gave us free breakfast. Because you head butted a fucking wall. Yeah. You should have gave him a free breakfast for the hassle. I know.

And people are. It's the best time my life. People are saying, yeah, that sausage is still in the dirt. I think my mom went, Tony. Like, no. If we went back to the Lord Forest. Yeah. I would love to.

Why are we doing a live show at the Breck? Tell me that. explain that to me like I'm five. Hi Tony. The Bumbra and Entertainment Centre. Would you believe that that has... Bumbray Regional Entertainment Centre. Thank you.

Would you believe that the Brek has more seating capacity than where we're at doing the Perth show? Okay. So probably couldn't fill it. I don't think Bunbury can fill it. Everybody could go on the Australind, make a little weekend of it. My mum and I went on the Australind.

So we went on this little vacation. To Bambri. Yeah. And she died. Well, she didn't die on the Australand. It was an... Did she get cancer from the Lord Forrest? It wasn't Austrolynd related illness.

Oh, okay. It wasn't. They've confirmed it in the autopsy. I've got to love to see her as well. This is from Paul Upcroft, who we've heard from a lot on the pod over the years. And we fucking love to see her because Michael, his partner and Paul, are approaching one year of sobriety. Huge. And actually, it's today.

Happy one year. of being sober. Isn't that so amazing? A whole year of not using any narcotics, alcohol, or any other mind-altering substance. Just being there for each other, supporting each other. And I just thought that people would find this really inspiring. Because Paul says our lives have totally changed in the last 12 months and we just never want to go back to the place that we were in.

And like, it's, you know, you have to decide that every day. Like 12 months doesn't just happen. Like every day you have to commit to. every minute sometimes when you're having a hard time. Yeah. And just really awesome. So Paul and Michael, I'm so fucking proud of you. That's really, really amazing.

Go get a sausage from the garden at the Lord Forest in Bumbray, honestly. Just beautiful stuff. Can someone in Bumbreu please check? If the sausages still there. How long ago was it? I was probably seven. So I reckon, yeah, it was... 25 a year?

Yeah. Oh, okay. Fuck, that's actually right. Oh, that's sick. Wow. That's sick. Would you like to apologize? Would you like to apologize?

Because before I said, you were born in 1985. Yeah, I'll hear that. I saw thought that you just being nice. In fact, I think it's more sweetheart. Oh no, didn't we find out that you're not 34? Yeah, I'm only 32. Huge news. Crazy.

Oh, so I was bang on with the 25. Would you like to apologize? I'm so sorry. Thank you. Great hot maths. Thank you very much. I did some hot maths the other day. Where were we, Charles?

probably didn't happen. All right. We got to go. When you're like, do you want an ice cream as well? Can we get two please? Oh. Yeah,

do you want anything? Can we get two ice creams? Do you guys put anything? We do have rollout here in three minutes. We got Rolos coming in track. Should we just banter until they come? What did you order? Only Rolo?

Just Rolo. Two Rolo. What about the crunch? Kit Katnil Bar Bar Lolo. You started talking that Nader already ordered it. Okay. Well, you know the great thing about a Nestle bar is they are good any temperature and that's good

I've got some chat for three minutes oh yeah I love it what are we gonna fucking then talk for two minutes 50 I'm in a good mood that is good I'm hot yeah that roller is gonna come it's gonna be melted like my fucking pussy ass I got swamp ass definitely

like 1,000% this dress just keeps getting higher because I need to get some air in here do you know what I mean blow me you know Do you ever when you're warm in bed and you need a bit of air, you just like lift the leg to just like let some air come through? Gust it.

Do that with the dress. No, because everyone will see my puss while. No, cut to me on the... And I'm wearing one of the sexy knickers. With the crow crotch. No, I didn't order the crotchless knickers, you guys. That's really hot. Oh, no, there's a crutch there.

Yeah, you air yourself. Put the camera on me. Oh, they are sexy. Do you want to see a little bit? I saw a lot. Charles, don't have the camera. No, Charles is. Oh, yeah, okay.

Yeah, thanks for saying. Okay, that's you. I'll show the rest of them later when we're at Sardinias. So I thought we were going on a Moondog World. No, Sardinia's with, um. Yeah. Scoop John. Detective Dunn.

That's awesome. Charles has just gone to get the chuckle by the way, so we can say anything that we want because our boss is near. Pussy! Um. Or if we say, he won't know to beep it. What do you think of when you hear the... Why you... I'm really happy to be here today.

What do you think of when you hear the word ginger vitus? Gingerbread. Can you imagine if you did that and like, you do that at some of you're like, what do you think of ginger virus? I'm like, oh, so you're getting it checked out? Like, you know what I'm like, imagine if so... Yeah, I've had a really big... Did everyone else to see that? The biggest thud of all times.

time. Eo! Ero! Thank you very. Oh, look it. It looks like a drug deal. It does look like a drug deal. What's in there?

Did you swap for cash or inside your code or something? All right. People have just experienced in real time. People have just experienced in real time. Like, what a world we live in. That would have taken six weeks back in the day. Oh, you'd have to go somewhere. Yuck!

Oh, yuck, leave the house. Gingervitis. there's, I think it's from maybe family guy. Yep. Where in one of the episodes, he goes like, ginger vitus. Tea. And for some reason, whenever I hear the word ginger vitus, it just makes me like want to say it like that. Yeah, that's funny.

Yeah, except the other day I was like in a setting where I, like, ginger vitus came up. Yeah. And I just said, gingervitis. And I just said that out loud at the chemist warehouse. And they were like, oh, sorry, sir. Because I was in the line getting my staff and then the person in front goes, oh, yeah, something below. And then, oh, you may be ginger. Gender Vitus!

Do you remember the old, I think it was like a Claritine ad or something? And it was like the guy didn't have hay fever anymore and he could smell the wood and he would go, utility. Do you remember that? And no one anyone ever says utility, I go, utility. Utility. All right. Charles, can you Google Gingervitis family guy, please? Oh, you fucking wouldn't wujar.

And look at the thing about the Nestle bar as well, very easy to open. Look at this. Get a zoom on this. Oh my God. Didn't that make you fucking stiffer than a fucking utility? Let's watch this video before you take the bite. Just real quick, Charles. After I said that all southern people have bad teeth and suffer from the gum disease known as gingeritis.

That's what I said in a chemist. Charles, excellent Googling. Oh, all right. Here is a row for you, sir. Charles, you can't have any little bubba. Cheers. Is everyone fucking ready for you? Oh.

Fuck me. He's the perfect temperature. Do you remember that elephant ad? No. You wouldn't because you got the memory of an elephant. Fuck, what'd you call me? Fuck, that's good. Fuck me.

Do you guys want it from Rollo? Fuck, that's good. Whoever can do the best rollo pun in the episode thread today in our Facebook group, I'll send them a block. We'll send you a block. Fuck, that's good. All right, love you. And YouTube comments, fucking let it rain.

Love you. That's excellent. Shout out to Nestle. Nessle. That does Nesley. Love you. Love you so much. We talked about a lot of stuff.

And also nothing. But like, that's what life's about. Do you know what I mean? So true. Just hanging with my best bud, talking shit and say nothing. Nestle. Nestle. Love you, bye.