Toni and Ryan - The towel is 'fine'

Episode Date: January 12, 2022

FINALLY - we get to the bottom of the towel that was on Ryan's bottom. Ya love to see it! Toni xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello? Hello, John. It's Tony and Ryan. Oh, hey, Tony. Hey, Ryan. Hi, Tony and Ryan John at Talking to John. Now... Yes, but my real name...

Well, John's my real name, but I don't go by it because it's a trash name. Sorry, John. Hey, I don't go by it either. Oh, Ryan John. Yeah. I know you don't. It's your last name.

My name's Mac. I thought I'd put that. I'm sorry go by it either. Oh, Ryan John. Yeah. No, you don't. It's your last name. My name's Mac. I thought I'd put that. I'm sorry. Mac. Mac. Like the computer, not the truck. Yeah, I like that. That is hot and cool.

Speaking of John being a trash name, I was named John by my birth mother, and my mum and dad who adopted me said, oh, that's a trash name. We'll call him Ryan instead. So John's actually my middle name. They thought they'd just leave it lingering there. Just like a nice little nod to your past, I guess. So I have a normal or not for you. Oh, please. Mac, lay it on us. So every single day

that we come home, me and my partner come home and we have a new dog that we adopted last year. And when we get home, he's very, very excited to see us. Yes. Like, not like whale tagging, like wagging excited, like very excited. Like winging? Like red rocket excited.

Oh! The Red Rocket. You're wrong. Okay. So, it's like, he won't let us stop petting him until he enjoys himself. So, we pet him for, like, three minutes when we're home. And, like, is that normal that I'm doing this every single work day? Tony has a...

Hang on. Do you mean you're petting him like... Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. John, I thought, fuck me. This is not going in the podcast. Oh, my God. Oh, I've just, my life has just flashed before my eyes and I thought we've all got to change our name again.

Oh, my God. Okay, now I'm with you. All right. It's like head scratches. Yes, thank you. I'm going to say nah. I'm going to say nah. I'm going to say nah. You're going to say nah.

But like how do you stop him from wanting you to help him when you get home every day? Isn't that what like when you get your dog neutered, isn't that what that does? Is like if your dog is not whole? So, yeah, so he can't get neutered. So we adopted him. He's, like, an older dog, and he has, like, back leg problems.

So when we come home, he's, like, laying in front of the front door, and he doesn't move. So, like, we can't neuter him. So, like, how do we stop that? Like, I just can't, like, be like, sorry, bud, not going to help you out today. Tony is dumbfounded by this. Yeah, I think I'm going to head out.

If you guys want to figure this out. Yeah, I heard that you guys have a podcast to start. Well, yeah, we do have a podcast to start. Well, yeah, we do have a podcast to start. I don't know if we can start. I'm sweating over here. I'm very stressed. I'm nervous. We will put this in the group and I'm nervous at the responses

just because I feel like they're going to be varied and graphic and strange. Varied and graphic. Probably. Probably. Probably. Thank you for sharing this story. I can't wait to see what people say about it. It's definitely going to be a no, but yeah.

Okay. Hey, it's Matt from Florida, and I approve this podcast. I'm tangled. I'm tangled in my headphones. I'm nervous. Should I sit or stand for this one? Watch here. I've stuffed up the headphones now. If you can't already tell.

You're a bit rattled. I'm scattled. I'm scattled. Scattled? I'm scattled. I'm rattled and scattered at the same time. Scattled. I'm scattled. I'm scattled. Scattled? I'm rattled and scattered at the same time. Scattled. I'm scattled.

There's a new word. Yeah. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Towel day. Fuck you. Thursday towel day. My name is Ryan John. I'm here with the captain of the ship, Tony Lodge.

Yeah, Ryan sitting on the john, wiping his bum with a towel. If this is your first episode, I'm really sorry because there's a lot of context here. But, Tony, do you want to bring us up to speed real quick? Uh-huh. So for anybody that's just joining us, last year. Oh, don't. Late last year.

Your worst nightmare, me making a last year joke. Yeah, whilst painting this picture. Oh, don't say painting. Don't say painting. Ryan went and got his hair cut at an at-home salon. The barber very kindly let Ryan use her en suite bathroom to do a quick wee before they got started. Turned into a little bit of poo.

You realised very quickly that there wasn't any toilet paper. Panicked, unsure of what to do, made the wrong decision, wiped your bum with her towel and then turned the towel around and left it there, got your haircut, went off and lived your best life. I thought this would be... Another story. Another story on the podcast. We tell lots of stories, some long, some short, some good, some...

I didn't think. In fact, the moment you spoke earlier in the week about when you're in a state of shock, your natural reaction is to start talking. Try and break the tension, crack jokes. When you found out about the towel and were in complete shock and silence, it was at that moment that I realised I should have taken this story to the grave. Yes, I agree. And then we ran a little bit of a promotion. I asked for every single listener's help, as many people as we could, to join our Patreon. And we promised that if we hit 1,000 before the 31st of January,

we would call your barber and you would have to. And you sadistic fuckheads all got together. Got behind me. Everyone's on my side, which I absolutely love. Oh, it makes me feel sick just thinking about it. Oh, mate, imagine how she feels. She's gotten out of the shower and gone, oh, I washed my hair, shaved my legs, and then she was covered in your shit. Imagine that.

Well, when you put it like that, I'm not the victim of this story, am I? No, you never have been. You never were. It was. I know I've said this before. I didn't want this to happen as in like I wish I didn't need to go. She didn't want it to happen either. I wish there was toilet paper there and I could have used that.

She wishes as well. Everything that you're saying, they're all things that she wishes had happened as well. And she's probably fucking rocking in the corner of her apartment. Well, we do. So we set the challenge. Oh, my God. What's going on?

I just fucking hate this. So we set the challenge. Sorry. I'm rattled. I'm scattered hate it. So we set the challenge. Sorry, I was set. I'm rattled. I'm scared. You are freaking out. So I said, could we get 1,000 Patreons and we will get in touch with the barber.

And there's one thing I do hate is, like, people that make a claim or don't pay out on bets. And so I'm like, I feel sick to my stomach. But you feel worse not only about the towel, but also that you did it. So I found her number. All right. Give her a fucking ring.

I couldn't remember her name because all I remembered was. That you'd been there. She was from like Finland, Sweden, Scandinavia. She had an accent. That's all I remembered. Oh, my God. So I texted her and I think I said to you a few episodes ago. Yep, that you messaged her and were like, hey,

could we give you a call? So she says, I'm away because I said my co-host and I would like to have a chat. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she said she's on holidays or something. Yeah, I'm on holidays at the moment. I'm sorry. And I was like, oh, we don't, like, need you to come in and do an expose.

Can we just give you a fucking call? So I said, it will only take five minutes. Can we do it over the phone? Yeah, five minutes. I mean, she'd probably hang up after fucking ten seconds, yeah? She's like, oh, this guy. Yeah, well, surely that's not going to be long. So she just said.

Do you reckon that as soon as you messaged her, she knew? Because imagine if she'd cut a few people's hair that day. She's like, who did this? Should I continue? Oh. Because I want to know if she like saw your, because did you text prior to the haircut? So we never spoke in person before the haircut.

So all the organising was in text. So the thread would have, like, because on an iPhone or any smartphone, it comes up like with your previous text. Well, that's how I actually realised it was her because in. Did you search haircut or something? Well, it was name Barbara, but I put the name first and I didn't know it. So I had to literally scroll through everything. And then I saw the, yep, meet you at this time.

Yep, three o'clock because I'm on air till three. It's just around the corner from. Okay. So it will only take 5 minutes and we can do it over the phone. Okay, that's fair. That's nice of you. And she replies, I'm really sorry. That's all she said. I'm really sorry? Yeah. So, and then this is something you mentioned the other day off air.

You were like, why don't you say that you need, if she's like brushing us off. Oh, like say like I need to. Apologise. I need to talk to you. So that's where we're up to, right? Oh, okay. So I have, that's good advice from me. That is good advice because that might like intrigue her to want to,

because it seems like she doesn't want to take the call. But do you think at this point that she knows you're the shit towel guy? Well. That's what we'll call you from now on, Tony and the shit towel guy. That does sound like a 90s, like the Simpsons had another radio station and be like, oh, welcome to Tony and the shit towel guy. So you said if you say you need to apologise, that may make her want to. It might. Because she might then be like, oh, welcome to Down in the Chautauqua. So you said if you say you need to apologise,

that may make her want to entreat. Because she might then be like, hang on, like, what do you want to talk about? Do you think at this point she knows that it's you? Well. I need to apologise for something, I said. Just that's all I said. Expecting a, oh, what happened? Yeah, quick, just give me a bell.

Or like, oh, if it'll only take two minutes, you know. So I wrote, I need to apologise for something. And she says, oh, I can't. No, what? Maybe she's thinking at this point that your bank transfer didn't go through or something. Did you pay in cash? It was a very, I said it was at her house.

Backdoor deal. Yeah, okay. Okay. I would just like to paint the picture here to make you feel even worse. Imagine instead of you're just sitting opposite me, you're sitting opposite thousands of people that want to know what happened. That doesn't make it better. I'm adding pressure.

I actually think it's not as bad as it could be. So I said. What do you mean? I need to apologise for something. Yeah. She writes, for what you did in the bathroom. Okay, well, that answers the question. She knows it was you.

It's fine. Enjoy the rest of your day. Great. No. Enjoy the rest of my day. But she said it's fine. Ryan, that's not fine. That's what she said.

No, that's not fine. Let me read it again. No. No. Like if you told me that. I need to apologise for something. For what you did in the bathroom, it's fine. Enjoy the rest of your day.

No, no, no, no. You know how you're supposed to read that. For what you did in the bathroom, it's fine. Enjoy the rest of your day. No, no, no, no. You know how you're supposed to read that. For what you did in the bathroom, it's fine. Enjoy the rest of your day. No. Yes. No. You shat on this woman's fucking towel from a Daz. There's not. You read it how she's saying. That's not good. Okay. Okay. Oh my God. I'm so stressed. You read it how you reckon she's saying that. I'm away on holidays at the moment. Sorry.

I'm away on holidays at the moment. Full stop. Sorry. Full stop. Not good. It will only take five minutes. We can do it over the phone. I'm really sorry.

Full stop. Oh. I can't remember the last time I used a full stop in a text. That's not good. The full stop's a terrible, terrible sign. I need to apologise for something. That's you good. The full stop's a terrible, terrible sign. I need to apologise for something. That's you.

Oh, and you wrote apologies, Ryan. Hang on, what did I write? I need to apologies for something instead of apologise. That doesn't sound right. Oh, she's offended by that. For what you did in the bathroom, question mark, it's fine, full stop. Enjoy the rest of your day. Oh, that's not fine. Why did she say she was fine if she's not fine?

Oh, don't you dare. You live with a woman. You know what that means. That's not fine. So can we call her? Well, I think she's been pretty clear. Yeah, no means no. So what is that?

So you're not... Hang on. Hang on. So does this mean you're not getting put on blast by this poor girl? Well, I've asked to call her multiple times. Am I annoying her now? Hang on, are we all getting left in the fucking, left out in the cold? You don't have to call this woman.

Well, I've been trying to organise the call, as you know, for days. And I feel like this is a good point just for two reasons. Yeah, because we can't harass this girl. You've already shat on her towel. She's like, he shat on my towel, what more does he want? So, it'll only take five minutes and we can do it over the phone. I'm really sorry. Okay. All right. Should we just call her?

Ideas time. We can try and call her if you want. I really want to know, but I also feel really bad for her, but I think the people would want us to try and call. And we, like you said, what I've already done to this poor is calling her after she's told me not to call multiple times. All right. We're going to call once.

And if she answers, she answers. If she doesn't, we'll put it to bed. I really hope she doesn't think we're harassing her. Oh. You know what? It's fine. Oh, the tarpers are going to hate that. No, they'll understand.

They'll get it. Sometimes these things, they... Sometimes in life, our towels get shit on. Oh. Well, I don't want to harass her. She's had a hard enough life. Maybe she's tried to put the poo in the towel. She tried to leave it in last year. Oh, fuck.

Well, because I know where she lives. No, I'm not going to confront her. Oh, my God. I thought, are you going to go around there? Don't fucking do that. Go around too. I just wanted to apologise for something. Before I leave, can I just...

Trim up the sides. No, I was going to say, can I just go to the bathroom? Oh, I was going to apologise for something, but before I leave, can I just... Trim up the sides. No, I was going to say, can I just go to the bathroom before... Oh, I was going to ask for aircon. Should we send her a towel? Yeah, I was going to say, I'll just do the delivery. Well, you already did the delivery there. Oh, sorry. No, Tony, the delivery of the towel.

Towel. New towel. Just one? Maybe give her two. You're good for it, mate. I think it does have got a sale on. Oh, you can use my Linen Lovers card. No, because then you get the points for it.

No, it's not points. It's just money off. I'll get my own Linen Lovers card. Do you have Linen Lovers? No, but I'll get it. Oh, it's $20 to sign up. What? Yeah, it's $20 to sign up.

What, then you get $20 back? What's the point? So you sign up for $20 and then you get like it lasts for two years and then you get access to sales. So like if something's on sale, then you get like it lasts for two years. Yeah. And then you get access to sales. So like if something's on sale, then you get a further sale. So you're paying for the chance to pay less later maybe. Well, you have to weigh up whether you'll save that much money. So like when I.

Do you think the barber would like to be signed up to it? We could pay for her linen lover's subscription. That's really nice actually. And maybe a laundromat. In case it happens again. Hey, it's Max from Florida and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Thank you so much to everybody who's part of our Patreon.

We appreciate it so much. We've said this in the past, our podcast will always be free. Yep. But over there we do, like, some exclusive episodes and, you know, all these different tiers. You get some different stuff. You can vote on the movies. This week we did Titanic, which we're going to talk about in a minute. I was surprised that all the Tarpers chose

Titanic. Me too. I was very surprised. Save the yarn for later, though. Alright, but thank you so much to our champion Tarpers. Connor, Corey Broom, Jess Batty and a little hello to Krista Meek as well. Thank you so much for supporting us. Thank you very much for getting involved. We will get

to the movie shortly because the Tarpers, the Patreons, do vote for that. They do. The fights happening in the Patreon were similar to the fights Tony and I had the other day. What fight did we have the other day? Well, we were trying to figure out the same thing everyone else figured out. Oh, yeah, yeah. Save that. Hook them through. Okay. So we on this podcast have a couple

of times done a little story time of Who's the Jerk? Yep. And it's normally you presenting it and saying I did something shitty. Am I the jerk or is the other time of who's the jerk. Yep. And it's normally you presenting it and saying, I did something shitty. Am I the jerk or is the other member of the public the jerk? Not that I'll have to ever correct a woman. Okay. Like too far the other way.

I'll never have to correct a woman. Normally I will have gone about my everyday life. Yes. And someone else will have been a jerk. And I just need that confirmed. Okay, but every time you've done it, it's been you. Sometimes the confirmation is not. In your favour.

And other times have not existed. Yeah. So sometimes, you win some, you lose some. Some slip through. So what have I done now? Okay, no. So this one's actually not about you. What a guy like this.

Great. We've heard enough about me and my fucking behaviour in this episode. Yeah, I needed to give you a break, mate. Thank you. It's actually come from an am I the arsehole on Reddit. So there's this massive page on Reddit. I don't think it's called a page, a thread on Reddit called am I the arsehole?

And people kind of write their stories and say, like, am I in the wrong here or not? Yep. Like, who's the jerk? I found this one on Reddit Ridiculousness on Facebook. I need your opinion. A Reddit user posted, and I have edited this for clarity because it was so fucking long.

Sure. A bit like me, loves to add lots of details to stories. Including this one. Yep. For some weird reason, my mother-in-law always wants to go into our bedroom whenever she's over and go through our stuff. I suspected it had happened a few times, so followed her upstairs once when she said she needed to use the bathroom, but she walked straight past the bathroom

to our bedroom and started rifling through papers on my dresser. It kept happening and it really pissed me off. Over the holidays. Valid. Yeah, definitely. Over the holidays, so, you know, the past Christmas break we've had. Yep. The in-laws were over and I told my husband I was going

to lay a little trap of really fine glitter on the doorknobs so we'd know if she'd gone up there. I love a booby trap. A booby trap. That's so funny. It just feels very like home alone. It is very home alone. Like a very DIY, I'll set this little trick and oh.

Her husband wasn't pleased about it, but she also put a folder of glitter on the top of the door so that if anybody opened it, they would get like glitter on their hands, but also it would cover their head. So there's no like, oh, I didn't go in there. It's like, well, you clearly did. Yeah, you look like a fucking arts and crafts project. Like you have gone in there.

Guess who had to go to the bathroom and came back with hands and hair completely covered in glitter? Busted. Caught in the act. Caught red-handed. Glitter-handed. Glitter-handed. Caught glitter-handed. Mother--handed. Caught glitter-handed.

Mother-in-law starts screaming at me, calling me an asshole. So I screamed back and now my husband is saying I went too far. Am I the jerk? Jesus Christ. First of all, this is significantly better than my jerk stories. Oh, no, it's still great. They're all good. We're all jerks.

We're all jerks. The reason the mother-in-law's got angry. Is because she's embarrassed. Is because she's been caught. Yep. For the slimy, sneaky mother-in-law that she is. She doesn't care about the glitter. Sure, it's fucking annoying.

Don't get me wrong. But she's just like, well, I've been caught and what do psychos do when they get caught? They fucking turn it on and create a scene and fight back because they can't admit. And blame it on the people that are around them. And blame every other person except themselves. If she didn't go snooping, she wouldn't be covered in glitter.

But she did and now she is and she can have a flamboyant, fabulous glittery time. So her husband is like, you went too far. Why did you do that? The mother-in-law is really fucked off still. And the sister-in-law, so the husband's sister, is like, nope, she deserved what she got. And then the mother-in-law had the audacity to send a cleaning bill

for the car because the car then got covered in glitter when they had to go home. Fuck that. Nah, get out of here. I reckon the mother-in-law's the arsehole. Absolutely. Absolutely. Because you know what?

If you're going to snoop through someone's house, which is fucked regardless, like that's not okay. I mean, we've all opened a drawer while you're in the bathroom. Have we? Or something like that. Yeah. You've opened a drawer at my house? Yep.

Which one? Not your top bedside drawer. Thank you. Avoid that one. You wouldn't be able to get a shot. Can I ask you a question? Full. Sorry.

Lisa, I put stuff in the drawer and not on the floor. Oh, yeah. Thank you very much. Here's a question I want to know. Uh-huh. Question. What's she looking for? It seems like just aimless snooping.

Like, because they've called her out. Do you reckon some people are just a snooper? That's just who they are. Yeah, but, like, if they've called her out and Do you reckon some people are just a snooper? That's just who they are. Yeah, but, like, if they've called her out and said, like, hey, can you actually not do that? And she's like, oh, no, I don't do that. I'm just going to the bathroom, but does it every time. I'm like, maybe you're just a snoopy little bitch.

She's a snoopy little bitch. And before the glitter, I've given you warning. I've called you out before. And said, don't fucking do that. A warning shot was fired. You ignored it. Yep. Now you get glittered.

Covered in glitter. All right, before we finish up, though, Tony and I have spent the last week trying to watch all of Titanic. Fuck, it's long. There's a random in the radio studio we're recording in today. It says Titanic grab. Oh. What do you reckon that is?

I don't know. Jack, I want you to draw me like one of your French girls. Wearing this. I'm wearing only this. Wearing only this. I actually asked. I made that, I reckon, because they're my swipes I used to use. Really?

Yep. I asked Bridget this morning if she would paint me like one of her French girls and she didn't find that funny at all as I walked in. That's quite funny. It is nice. Oh, the music fucking brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it? It really does. It's a fucking emotional movie.

So we want to talk about the movie first or the fact about choosing Titanic. The mission. Let's talk about that. Okay. We decided because I... Music later. Music later. Because the new movie on Netflix, Don't Look Up,

has got Leonardo DiCaprio. Yeah. I thought it was really funny and also a bit of a slap in the face for humanity. Especially right now. Yes. We're in the room. So I was like, let's do a Leo week.

Yeah. So we're like, okay, well, let's pick four Leo movies. It took us 20 minutes to try and nail it down. To pick the top four, we had the top 30. And we're like, well, we can't leave that out. We can't leave that out. So we've decided to split Leo Week into two weeks. Sometime later on we'll do the classics like Gilbert Grape.

What's Eating Gilbert Grape, Romeo and Juliet, The Beach. Yeah, that kind of era. Kind of thing, yeah. And then this week we thought The Epics. And then even The Epics. Were hard to nail down as well. So we ended up picking between Titanic, Inception. Wolf of Wall Street. Wolf of Wall Street.

The Great Gatsby. Great Gatsby. I've never seen that. Shutter Island also. Oh, I haven't seen Shutter Island either. How does this guy just end up in such great movies? And what a diverse range. One of my personal favourite Leonardo DiCaprio movies

is called Basketball Diaries and I talked to you about this. It is fucking phenomenal. Anyone that hasn't seen that, we actually left it off and we'll leave it off next week because it's not available to stream anywhere. It was like a tough one to find. And can I just say, for all the people fighting in the comments, we know when you're like, I can't believe you left this off.

Mate, you should see the argument that we have. We're on the phone and we're going, oh, you can't leave that movie off. And it's really hard because we can only pick from four or five or whatever. Is that not the greatest compliment of a career though? Oh, yeah. Think about all the musicians in particular that like had that one hit that one time or the actors who were known for that role and then going looking back when he's, you know, 60 or 70 going,

oh, I was a part of 25 unbelievable films. Even more than that, I reckon. But, yeah, insane. What a successful and just like... And he's great, isn't he? Just the fact that his career has spanned so many years and he's so fucking handsome as well. that his career has spanned so many years and he's so fucking handsome as well.

Wow. Can we first talk about the scene where he's dressed in his regular third class clothes and the lady goes, oh, you're the same size as my suit, as my son. You can wear his suit. She is like Kathy Bates. What a sweetheart. Her character in that movie is just. Love it. But when he first puts on the tux and he slicks his hair back.

Oh, fucking wet my whistle. How unbelievable. movie is just love it but when he first puts on the tux and he slicks his hair back oh fucking wet my whistle how unbelievable so i was watching with bridget last night and that scene she was gone for all money oh yeah no and at the very end no spoilers but at the very end just before she dies in her bed does she die well yeah so the the whole thing is because you know how he says you're gonna grow up have lots of babies and do everything in the world and die an old woman warm in your bed. Yeah. So it's like she looks at you, see all the photos.

The memories. Then it goes up to her walking through every boat and it's like all the people that died on the boat. So she's like saying goodbye to them. She sees him, they kiss and then it goes, what? That's like her dying. Yeah. Are you crying now? No, what? That's like her dying. Yeah. Are you crying now? No,

but you know when she walks up the stairs and she sees him and he's like... And he turns around. Fuck. Fuck. It's just such a good movie. It is long. It is very long. I remember stopping because I took the dog for a walk and went to get some ice cream and was like, we're an hour and a half into this and we haven't hit an iceberg

yet. No, the iceberg happens at like an hour 40 in. Yeah. So one thing that I didn't realise, because I probably haven't watched it in full for a few years. Oh, sure. And it's a very, probably the main theme of the movie is the class. Yes.

First class, third class, we're better than you. You don't deserve to live. No, there's only this many people. Obviously the better people will be allowed to live. She says only less than half and he said the better half. The better half. Fucking Billy Zane, what a fucking asshole. Well, yes, but also is he just the best at that character?

Like that couldn't have been anyone else but Billy Zane. No, but fuck, he just rubs you the wrong way, doesn't he? Yeah. And when he says that and Rose goes, you unimaginable bastard, I just like, oh, queen! The words she said would have been, at the time, scathing. Oh, yeah, you wouldn't have been able to say that. So the weird thing now, though, is, you know how with, like,

tech billionaires, it's, like, cool that, like, this guy's really rich and he's wearing like sneakers and baggy where's back then it's like oh he'll have to borrow someone's clothes to be allowed into the first class and like oh you can't wear that here whereas i just keep thinking now the richest people have the not worse clothes because it's probably like designer tracking pants. But they're just plain, not as showy. But it's almost showy the other way. Yes. Look how slouchy I am because I'm so rich I don't even give a fuck.

Yeah, but it's just like, yeah, you're probably wearing expensive stuff, but it's just like, yeah, it's plain and normal clothes. Most tech billionaires would not be allowed into first class on the Titanic. No, no way. I mean, the horrible way that they treat him and talk to him and stuff is just so, and I don't know whether it was, like, hammed up for the film or not, but, fuck, it just, it's pretty horrible.

Yeah, but I love, and I think everyone, just, like, as an old lady, when she was younger, just Kate Winslet's character, you're just like, what a legend. Oh, and then when she's telling, just Kate Winslet's character, just like what a legend. And then when she's telling the story and he's like, then what happened? And she's like, do you mean did we do it? Like, yeah, Rose, tell us. Now, this is an epic movie that goes for three years.

Yep. Or three hours. There's someone really lazy who worked on this film, who is the laziest person in the movie business. Yeah. And it's the person who is the composer of the music for Titanic. Because it's the same motif through the whole thing? The same song plays for three hours.

It doesn't. It's different versions of the motif. It's different. Explain what motif is. So motif is like so that it's in a different key. Is that it's like recognisable no matter what

key it's in or how fast it plays like the tempo or whatever. So yes, it's the same thing but it's played in different ways depending on the In a movie for three, usually they're like, It is a lot. We'll pick eight or ten songs because when there's the action scene, there'll be the action song.

Yeah. And then someone just turns up and goes, I think for three hours we'll just play the same song. Do you want to make another one? Nah. They don't even give you the Celine version until the credits. So you don't even get the version with her going... Yeah, that big ball-tearing... You don't even get the version with her going new fall. Yeah, that big ball-tearing.

You don't even get that until the fucking credits and by then you've fallen asleep because it goes for fucking six hours. Mate, the songs, because you know in radio that you'll talk over the instrumental bit and then you'll stop when the lyrics start? Could you imagine me talking up to the three-hour post until Celine comes on in the credits?

All right, yeah, and it's six o'clock. Oh, 22 and cloudy outside. And then you'd go through three hours worth of weather. Hey, James Cameron, do you reckon we'll put this other song in for this? No, I reckon we'll just keep playing. No, I love that first one. My wife loves it as well. I reckon we just keep that one going.

Yeah, just keep rolling. Oh, I have a fun fact. Oh. Oh, my God, I love fun facts about movies. What's yours? I was curious about I wonder who's the actual person that did the actual drawing. Oh, my God, I love fun facts about movies. What's yours? I was curious about I wonder who's the actual person that did the actual drawing. Oh, yeah.

Because I'm like maybe that was some artist and that's like their claim to fame now because someone had to draw it, right? Yeah, of course. And it's one of those things like you're not going to go, oh, DiCaprio, can you just learn how to draw for the sake of whatever. But how sexy does he look? You know when he's like holding the paper up

and all you can see is his eyes and his, like, oh, fuck, he's such a smoke show. Yep. The person that drew the picture was James Cameron, the director. He actually drew it. Oh! But he was left-handed, so he had to draw the picture backwards, so when they filmed it, they flipped the whole thing.

It's the left-handed James Cameron drawing it backwards, so then they flipped the whole thing it's the left-handed james cameron drawing it backwards so then they flipped it and it looked like a right-handed leonardo dicaprio oh that is a great fact i'm so glad you didn't know that yeah last time i brought a fact you're like i fucking know do you want to hear my fact please so you know when they're walking through the water and like rose is like grabbing the pipes to try and like monkey bar through yeah and she's like oh it's so cold and like her nipples are to try and, like, monkey bar through. Yeah, yeah. And she's like, ooh, it's so cold, and, like, her nipples are all hard and stuff. The water was actually freezing.

Whoa. So the fact that they're, like, blue and shaking and stuff is actually all real, because James Cameron was like, no, it needs to be super authentic, and so they actually put, like, freezing fucking cold water in there. Yeah. Didn't she get sick? Probably.

Surely, because you would just... Even if the water wasn't cold, they are wet the whole time. freezing fucking cold water in there. Yeah. Didn't she get sick? Probably. Surely. Yeah. Because you would just, even if the water wasn't cold, they are wet the whole time. Yeah. And imagine how long that would have taken to film. So say you're doing like a day's worth of filming, you'd just be wet all day.

Sorry. You're more mature than that. Sorry. But my sister went like not long after this movie came out, my mum was like, oh, talking about Titanic or whatever. And then, just talking about it. And I'm like, oh, you know how, like, the boat sinks at the end? My sister goes, oh, I haven't seen it yet.

Spoiler alert, mate. Yeah, oh, God. So, yeah, if anyone hasn't seen it, it came out fucking 600 years ago. It came out 600 years. Do you know it was the third Titanic film? Really? Yeah. Oh, wow.

Shout out to our friends at the Warragul Hospital. Sure. I went to the emergency room with some bowel issues. Hey. Okay. I ain't here to judge you. Yeah. Grab your towel out.

Yep. I got my own room because I was also awaiting a COVID test. Because I wasn't sharing a room with anyone, I could listen to things without earphones. So she was listening to the Tony and Ryan podcast while listening. When will people learn? The next morning, I'd had some very strong painkillers. I'd had very little sleep and I was all over the place.

And I started to listen to the podcast and I started laughing so hard that I was spluttering and coughing. And because of the bowel issues, there was something a little bit scary about what happened as I was struggling to breathe and wincing around the bowel area and kind of, you know, a bit curled over. The nurse comes in. I finally calmed down. She checked my, you know, the vitals, you know, a bit curled over. Oh. The nurse comes in. I finally calmed down.

She checked my, you know, the vitals, did whatever, and then she had to check underneath me to see if I'd shat myself. Oh. I was really nervous because I thought I might have. And it's a common theme on this podcast as well. I hadn't. Oh, great. I said to the nurse, I'm so sorry that you had to come in here and even check.

I'm just so embarrassed. How embarrassed? Yeah. Embarrassing. Not that it isn't, like, you know, that's their job. It is what it is. But sometimes we shit ourselves. And she just goes, I'm really sorry about this whole thing.

Yeah, the nurse would have been like, oh, God, I've seen 16 shits today, you know. Yeah, so they don't care. And as I said, she was listening without headphones. Yep. The nurse says, don't worry, I totally get it. Tony and Ryan make me die laughing as well. My nurse was totally a tarpa at the

Warragul Hospital. Oh, shout out to the Warragul Hospital. Thank you very much. Oh, I love that. Do not recommend in the ward. Oh. But thank you nonetheless. We haven't lined this up, but I've got quite a similar you love to see. She said she was fine, by the way. Oh. Because I know you cared about her. I was going to message

her after and ask her. You seemed concerned about her and her butt. I was. They're both both. Not was, I still am. Okay, they're both fine. I'll message her later. I'll call her. We didn't organise this, but we have quite similar you love to see. It's for today. Really? I got a message from Elizabeth on

Instagram. Elizabeth's my mum's name. So I was instantly drawn. She was listening to the podcast whilst donating plasma, like donating blood. Bridget's donating plasma right now. That's why you had to drive me today. Oh, really? And snorted laughing with, like, the needle in her arm

and kind of, like, jerked and, like, kind of hurt herself, did a bit of a mischief. So not only do I love to see that she is listening, obviously, but donating blood is such an easy thing for people to do. And no, I'm not on a kickback and no, there's no thing of it. What, use hashtag Code Tony at the checkout of giving blood? Yeah, and get an extra cookie or something. I don't know.

But donated blood kept my mum alive for almost a year. Really? Yeah, my mum had multiple blood transfusions and the thing that you can go and do it and it's free and also bragging rights to be like, oh, I donated blood. I thought that you and I maybe could go and donate blood as a team. Let's do it. Yeah.

My wife Bridget every second weekend. I didn't know that she did that. That's amazing. So she does. Does she have like a rare blood type? Yeah. So she, and I could get it wrong, but I believe it's O negative. Sure.

I don't know. But it's the one that can go into anyone. Oh, a universal donor. Yeah. Yes, yes, yes. So her blood can go into any person. Wow. And so she kind of feels compelled to, like, go.

Oh, that's so sweet of her, though. And I don't think she can do it every second week, so she kind of rotates between doing the plasma and the blood and all sorts of stuff. Blood you can do more often, but then plasma or marrow or whatever it's called, you can only do every six weeks or something. Yeah.

But, yeah, very regularly. Yeah. And when she leaves, she books in for next time and stuff like that. And she always says, and we've lived in a lot of different areas, you'll never meet a nicer bunch of people than the people who work at the blood bank. Yeah. Because they're so thankful that you're there. You don't have to go.

And she's like, they're always so lovely. They give you a cookie. And often it's like the old volunteer who's like in charge of the cookies and the milkshakes. They don't actually, you know. They're not the phlebotomist. Yeah. Who's botomist? Phlebotomist.

That's someone who takes blood. Really? Yep. Phlebotomist. Phlebotomist. Yeah. Yep. My sister-in-law's a phlebotomist.

Oh, hello, Isidore. But she's like, it's usually the volunteer old bloke that's like, oh, what kind of flavour milkshake do you want? Oh, that's so sweet. And so Bridget always comes home full of snacks. We should go and do it. I'd actually love to do that. That's, um, I've wanted to do it for a really long time

and never made time for it. Book it in. But yeah, we should book it in. We should go and we can... We can speak to the flubotomists. I'm feeling a bit sick. Can you get to the bottom of this flu? Better call the flubotomist. That's very funny. Is that how you say it? No, flubotomist. Don't yell at me. Flubotomist. I've had a hard sick. Can you get to the bottom of this flu? Better call the flu-bottomist. That's very funny. Is that how you say it? No, flu-bottomist.

Don't yell at me. Flu-bottomist. I've had a hard day. You have had a hard day. It's been a big week. I hope that you all loved it. Thank you so much for being part of it. We'll post the next movie you need to watch next week.

Yes. Which will be fun. And also next week, probably more bad dates, probably more of Ryan shitting in places he shouldn't. I've got a couple of great coming out stories. Oh, great. Actually, when I say good, a harrowing one. Yeah, okay.

They'll probably go to the Flutopamist. They might be a Flutopamist. But thank you so much for listening, being part of it. We fucking love to see it. Rate, subscribe, review, follow, whatever you do, whatever app you can do it in. That really supports us. So thank you so much.