Toni and Ryan - The truth about Chicken Wings

Episode Date: May 8, 2022

Toni and Ryan, or should I say - Karen Lodge and Karen Jon fire up! Plus, all of your feedback from last week!! Love ya! Toni xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh my God, hello? Oh my God, hi. Hi. Curtis Miller, will you approve this podcast? Yes, I totally approve this podcast. Yay! Oh, by the way, it's Tony and Ryan. Hi, I figured.

How are you, Curtis? I'm at a bar right now. I am very well. I'm at a bar right now and then I saw it ringing and'm at a bar right now, and then I saw it ringing, and I took off running, and I kicked people out of the way. Oh. A little out there. Yeah, is everyone okay?

Well, I mean, there's, like, music playing in the background, so I figured y'all probably couldn't clear that or want to pay those fees, royalties. Does that mean that you are a not sober approver? I would say so, yeah. Okay. Well, luckily we don't have a blood alcohol limit on this podcast, obviously. And I'm very glad, right?

Hey, this is Curtis from Louisville, Kentucky, and I approve the podcast. Welcome. Happy day. Whether you're listening. No, because. I know you're right. Go ahead. Yeah, because last week there was a post in our Facebook group.

Welcome. I'm Tony. That's Ryan. Whatever, whatever, whatever. Yeah. That this podcast comes out local time for us, Monday at 5am, and it'll be Sunday night for people in America and stuff like that. So I'm trying to make sure, be more mindful of, you know,

not saying happy Monday morning because it might be... It flaps people who are listening the night before. As they go to sleep, we've learned as well. Yes, there is no wrong time to listen. Every listen's a listen. Thanks for joining us. It's a pleasure they go to sleep, we've learned as well. Yes, there is no wrong time to listen. Every listen's a listen. Thanks for joining us. It's a pleasure to go to bed with you every night. How good was that from me?

That was great. That was very nice. Am I the anchor now? You are an anchor. It gets us in and out of the songs of this podcast. Tony Lodge, his name is Tony Lodge. Tony Lodge. You know the whole thing.

I think I'm going to flip the script here because we're about to go through a few scams and daylight robbery and theft that we've been dealing with in the last few weeks. I think I want to change this segment to be called Letters from Karen Lodge. Oh, I like that. So you know how you were like just getting angry at these people? Oh, yes.

So it's as if you're Karen-ing them back. I'm Karen-ing up. Have you seen those, the new Karen diners? Yes, in Melbourne. How you go in and they're like really rude to you and they'm Karen-ing up. Have you seen the new Karen diners? Yes. How you go in and they're like really rude to you and they're like, what the fuck do you want and stuff, and that you're allowed to like get real sassy with them? A lot of people have sent me their TikToks and reels

and stuff of those restaurants. What do you think about that? I would hate that. And you know that I would not thrive in that environment. Even if you knew in your heart that it's them doing comedy, that's the point, would you feel like they're personally attacking me? Yeah. I feel like you wouldn't handle that well.

No, and I also wouldn't want to attack them back. I wouldn't want to be rude to them because that's the whole thing, right? You're, like, rude to them, they're rude to you. I didn't realise you were rude back. I thought you just coughed it and laughed. Oh, that it was like you are karen so you're allowed to be like i would all right so imagine that it's the way i assumed it was that they were rude to you and you were just lovely yeah but then you walked in and we're like well fuck you right back bitch but the manager comes over and goes that's actually not what we do here so what happens is

they're kind of mean to you in a funny way and then you just kind of sit there and enjoy your meal? Maybe when you walk in they tell you the rules. That's what I need. You're just there lighting them up back and they're like, ah, bitch, this is not what this is. Or they're like, is this part of the game? Or are you actually fucked up? Do you actually fucking hate me or is this like a we're in it together?

I just don't really know. And this, oh, people probably won't like this, But I just don't really like those, like, gimmicky restaurant, like, you know, like, Witches and Britches and Draculas and stuff like that. They're awful. I just don't know. Theatre restaurants? Yeah, I just don't, again, don't think I would thrive

in that environment. You know what you're saying, though? What? The fact that you've gone on this spiel and have said out loud. Should we go? I mean, I feel like people are going to go, well, you have to go now. I really don't want to. This is actually not where I was going with this,

but I don't want to go. Well, now we fucking have to. We'll do a poll. Oh, we'll do a poll in the Patreon. Yep. Okay. And we'll ask people whether we should go to the Karen. Should we do.

Don't even bother. They're just going to say yes. Should we go yes or no? Or should we say, should we go to the Karen Diner or the Melbourne Don't even bother. They're just going to say yes. Should we go yes or no or should we say should we go to the Karen Diner or the Melbourne Dracula's which is in Britches. I won't go to the Dracula's. I'm too scared. Oh, is it spooky? Have you met Dracula?

Is it scary? Well, I don't want to go there. I'm not a man. Maybe if they do breakfast. I'm not going at night time. Do you do a daylight sitting? Do you guys do like one for kids? We'll come to the kids version. I don't know if you're well read, but don't vampires not come out during the day?

Oh, my God. True, true, true, true, true. Yeah. Can I get the garlic bread? Ha! I'll get a steak and shove it straight through their heart. All right. I'm guessing there'll be a poll.

Actually, no, fuck it. Let's put it in the Facebook group. Facebook group. Everyone jump in. Everyone jump in. When you hear this, the poll will be out. I'm fucking pumped we're going to go to Dracula's. No. it. Let's put it in the Facebook group. Facebook group. Everyone jump in. Everyone jump in. When you hear this, the poll will be out. I'm fucking pumped we're going to go to Dracula's. No, Karen's.

Karen Diner. Okay. Oh, I kind of feel like I want to go to the Dracula's now. It's in the people's hands. It's in the people's hands. Yeah, ask the population. Letters from Karen Lodge. Did you know?

Someone sent this through. It makes sense now that I hear it. Yeah. But my mind is blown and prepared for your mind to be blown as well. Oh. You know how there's two types of wings? There's like the little drumsticky one and then there's the one with the two things. Which one do you like?

I think everyone likes the little drumsticky one. Oh, I like the other one. Really? Yeah. All right, we'll prepare. We are a match made in heaven. We really are. Want to come around tonight, watch the football together?

Have some wangs. You can have the half that I don't like. It's like on a hot cross bun, Torbs eats the tops and I eat the bottoms. Oh, that is cute. Yeah. I mean, Torbs is the winner there, but. No fucking way. Because then you're not getting the cross.

No, I don't want the cross. I just want the soft bit on the bottom. Fuck, there's so much to unpack in this episode. Talk about this. That's cool. Put that in your fucking notes. People are going to have a field day. so much to unpack in this episode.

That's cool. Put that in your fucking notes. People are going to have a field day. One time in history, someone cut wings in half and convinced the whole world that one wing was actually two wings. Because think about it. There isn't really two types of wings. Oh, what type of chicken is that from? Oh, that's from the nuggety one.

Oh, no, that's an egg wing. It's the same wing cut in half and we've been convinced by Big Wing that it's actually two different wings. Big chicken wing. So think about it this way. Now that you think about it, of course it is, right? They cut them in half. Think of the size of an actual chicken wing when you get a full chook.

I have never thought about this before. Me neither. My brain exploded. So it's actually like four wings per chicken. Which is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. But do you know what's actually quite sad? What? That when you get like chicken breasts for dinner,

if you get two chicken breasts, it's a whole chicken. Well, it's not because it doesn't have the wings. No, no, no. Or the thighs. But like that's a whole chicken. Well, it's not because it doesn't have the wings. No, no, no. Or the thighs. That's a full chicken you're eating for dinner. It's not a good area. It's not a good area. Don't make me think about that.

I love wings. I love chicken. Meat. Don't contextualise it. That's a whole bird. Okay. When you're at a restaurant and you order six wings, you're actually really getting three.

Oh, what a rot. Okay. Karen Lodge Oh, what a rot. Okay. Karen Lodge will now write a letter. I've written to the wing industry, but to Big Wing. Big Wing. What do you think about this now that you've learnt the truth? You said you didn't trust dishwashers. How can we ever trust Big Wing again?

I am shaken. I'm shaken to the core. So what you're telling me is that you're making money off these defenceless birds and, you know, don't shit on a cupcake and tell me it's frosting. Did you just wheeze? You just did my wheezy laugh. I've had COVID.

I've got a sore throat. What you're telling me is... Shit on the couch. Don't piss on me and tell me it's raining. The thing with this is, should that make them cheaper? Yes. I was looking on Uber Eats last night. Highway robbery.

That's a whole other thing because they add $75 per item compared to what it costs on the menu in the store. I'm paying for the equivalent, so six wings. I'm paying for three chickens. I'm not getting three chickens. No. You're getting a bunch of little offcuts, which is all they are really. Offcuts with chilli spice.

And because I only like the wingy part. You like the drumsticky part, but I like the wingy part. So there's like a 50-50 chance that I'm only going to get half of what I actually want. So for the cost of three chickens, you're getting two little thingamathingers. Maybe. If you're lucky. Yeah.

Dear big chicken, fuck you. Correct. Big wing. Big wing. This has been a popular one in the, or not popular, I mean a frequently mentioned unpopular thing that happens. What? Companies that offer free trials,

free trials that automatically rolls into a paid subscription. Fuck right off. How many of these are you paying for each month, Tony? I actually have to check my, you know how in the Apple Pay thing, like it comes up with your subscriptions? I check that regularly to make sure I haven't like signed up to something and I'm still paying for it. That's very great.

That's a good tip. Thank you. Yeah, it's good life admin to get in the hang of. That actually doesn't fuck me off that much. Really? Nah. I would be more than happy with, which I think this is fair. Say you get a 14 day free trial. On day 13, you get this nice email that's like, hey, I hope you've enjoyed the

last two weeks. Yep. Here's what we're prepared to offer to maybe get you on for three months or 12 months. But for them to just assume that you're going to just waltz on in, if you need a credit card for a free trial, it's not a free trial. But it is because you can cancel it any time. I have to cancel it. So now you're making me doing free labour. Well, so you don't want to be responsible for your own money. You don't want to take control of your finances.

Is that what I'm hearing? No, what you're hearing is I thought I already was. But apparently you're in control now until I take that back. Can I say something? I may answer your podcast. I think that this letter should come from Karen Dunn. Karen John. Karen John Dunn.

Karen Jonathan Dunn. Because this doesn't really find me out. Dear companies that automatically subscribe you after a free trial. Dear big trial. Dear big trial. If I just want to watch one particular sporting game and then figure out that you've got a 14-day free trial going,

boy, do I feel like I've pulled off a fucking win here because I'm going to watch that free sporting game for free. What I'm not expecting is in 30 days to get a notification of Apple saying, oh, your free trial's ended and we've just docked you $99 for three months worth. For the whole year or whatever? Yeah, I wanted to watch one cricket game. I'm not interested in continuing my subscription

to watch Punjabi MC versus whatever in the Indian Premier League. I just wanted to watch that one cricket game one time and wanted to steal from you. And now you're stealing from me. Oh. Yours sincerely, Karen Jonathan Dunn. Karen Jonathan Dunn. All right, finally, and this is something I've had personal experience

with on both sides of the coin. Let me just put that out there up front. Not getting an entry-level job because you don't have the right amount of experience. Not getting an entry-level job because you don't have enough experience. This fucks me right completely the fuck off. Whoa.

Yeah. Karen and Jonathan are here or whatever we fucking named ourselves. It is so ridiculous. Oh, would you like this entry-level job? Oh, but you have to have six years' experience. Oh, it's basically, you know, it's an entry-level job. It's just so you can, like, learn the tricks of the trade, learn the ropes, whatever.

Oh, but you have to have commercial experience. I'm not coming straight out of uni with three years of commercial experience. No. I've got three years' experience, but it's at uni. Why doesn't that count? That's a great point. I've experienced learning all this stuff.

But it's just not for another business, which is probably a competitor. Wouldn't you rather pick me right out and get me straight away? If I found myself in a position where I didn't have experience but I was needing a job, you know what I would type into a search engine? Entry level job. Because I am entering.

This level of the job. I'm entering the industry. I don't have any experience. But what a great opportunity for you as a company to get someone who's fresh out of uni, full of enthusiasm. Yes. They've got passion for what they're doing. They're not marred either way.

They don't have any, like, fucking. Baggage. Yes. They don't have any, well, at my old company, we used to do it this way. And how much does that fuck you off when you work with people that, oh, well, I used to work at this place and this is what we do. What a great opportunity to mould this young, passionate person.

They're a beautiful young sponge. Too far. Sorry. All right, we've found the level. Yeah, okay, that's the line and that's fine. Hey, when I worked at National Australia Bank. Oh, well, that's not how we did it at National Australia Bank. I was working at National Australia Bank while I was at uni.

Oh, like a grad job? No. Oh. Because this is, I'm trying to. Oh. I took the job, so when I did graduate, which sounds so dumb, when I graduate I would have had and I did have a few years experience, and you know why I needed the experience?

Because you knew that you wouldn't get the job when you'd finished uni because they'd go, oh, well, you haven't got any experience. Sorry, I've actually committed the last four fucking years of my life full time to learning how to do this fucking prick of a job and now you won't even fucking hire me. I knew I wouldn't get an entry-level job if I was just entering the industry. So I got two years experience at National Australia Bank. So how did you get the job that was lower than the entry-level job that you didn't have the experience for? It was very, like the bottom of the rank, kind of, you know, it's a very low entry

job. And I started kind of part-time over summer when they needed some help or whatever, just knowing that the words, the words National Australia Bank would be on my resume, literally no other, cause I'm kind of like, well, I don't want to be one of those people that graduates. Leaves uni and yeah, has no options. And then what? And cause I didn't, I'm not this, as I mean, all jokes aside, we've joked about, I'm not like a very academic, good at? And because I didn't, I'm not the, as, I mean, all jokes aside, we've joked about I'm not like a very academic, good at reading. Like I don't, I'm not an A plus student. Yeah.

You know, I do all right. You work very hard though. I work hard. Yeah. But I'm not uber smart at that stuff. So for me to, you know, get through with some Bs is great. Yeah. But I'm not coming in hot A pluses from the best uni,

taking my pick of jobs. I've got to like do a shit job at NAB for two years. Yeah. So it looks like I know what I'm the best uni taking my pick of jobs. I've got to, like, do a shit job at NAB for two years so it looks like I know what I'm talking about. But also, then you go into this entry-level job, they don't pay you that much because it's a junior position, which is totally fine. That's how you fucking... My first job in radio, I made $40,000 a year.

Like, there is no me going... That's Australian dollars, by the way, for people playing along in the US. $40,000 Australian dollars a year, including super. Yeah, and rent in Australia is about $70,000 a year. Like, so, you know, when you add those up, it doesn't fucking compute. I couldn't work at NAB because I was like, that doesn't make sense. We can't have you here.

But then, so, I'm not the person that's like, oh, I won't work for less than $150,000 a year or anything. I fucking slummed it. I did those early entry-level jobs. You get paid like shit and they go, oh, we don't have any experience. You go, well, fucking hell. I'm trying to cut my teeth. What do you fucking call this?

This is me trying to get experience. This is the experience that I need to then move on and get paid more money and do more exciting stuff or work in a bigger city. Fucking dear big job. You're a big job. I'll give you a big job. Okay, I think from that comment and just the last six minutes in general, let's get a cup of tea.

Yep. Let's take a breath. Let's calm down. Let's calm down. I'm so tea. Yep. Let's take a breath. Let's calm down. Let's calm down. I'm so angry. Yeah. This is Curtis from Louisville, Kentucky, and you are listening to Tony and Ryan.

Thanks for listening to the Tony and Ryan podcast. We had a shareholders meeting, which we'll get to shortly, to cover up, cover up, cover off. Oh, my God. You're going to need to cover up, mate. To cover off in feedback. No videos this week. We need to cover up.

Well, you need to cover up, mate. I have never been more covered in love. Tony came in this morning in a turtleneck and was very self-conscious that she was covering up too much. No, I wasn't. I just said, this is different for me. I like it. How do we feel? I like that colour. Thank you. I am nervous, though, that in the videos, your dark purple top will

match in with the dark purple background, so you'll just be a face and hair. Oh, do you remember when I wore that light pink jumper and I looked naked? This is the opposite. I'm like a chameleon. By the time this weather reporter wore a green dress in front of a green screen.

And she blended into the... Do you remember that story that went viral, viral about those three Aussie news anchors that were all wearing white and that chick fucking lit the other bird up. She's like, you need to fucking put a jacket on. Put a jacket on. The girl's like, man, I'm busy.

I can fucking just leave. I don't care. She's like, if someone can bring me a jacket, that's great, but I'm too busy. And she's like, well, you know, you need to figure it out. My God. That was big talk then. Who leaked that? Oh, they do not have a job anymore.

Well, they should. And it should be CEO of fucking everything because what a lord. CEO of everything. Could you imagine if there's some bitch at work and you've got them on camera being a bitch and you're like, finally. Oh, you'd feel good. You'd just be like, you know what? Oh, that one's accidentally emailed to the whole company.

Sorry about that. Oh, I meant to email that to the bin, but I accidentally emailed it to Twitter. Instead of dragging it to the recycle bin, I dragged it into an email. I dragged it to Ladbible. Sent it to Pedestrian TV by accident. Could have sent it to anyone. Whoops. A big thank you to a few of our top shareholders,

which we'll get to in a minute. Zach Funk, Hayley Noodle. Noodle, the big nerd. She needs to go around, big nerds. She needs to work on her branding. Colin Luxley. That might be Colin Cooksley, actually. I can't read my own handwriting.

Colin, cheers. Nicole Penman, Ness Clare and Connie Bathany. Thank you so much. Bathany? Like Bethany with an A? Yeah, it might be Bathory. I don't know. I can't read my own handwriting.

Sorry, everyone. Must be hard. Must be hard. But might be Bathory. I don't know. I can't read my own handwriting. Sorry, everyone. Must be hard. Must be hard. But thank you so much for contributing to our Patreon, buying our exclusive content. You fucking love to see it. Love to see it. We did have a shareholders meeting on Friday.

Basically, if you missed it, just a quick recap. Tony and I, we're all in. All in. We're going for it. We want to go five days. We're going to get married. Oh, no. Different announcement.

That was on the OnlyFans shareholder meeting. This is the podcast. Sorry, I get confused. I know, there's so much going on. It's hard to keep up. We want to go five days a week. We want to. We want to.

We're desperate. We're desperate. And the plan is from July 1, that's what we'll be doing. But to get there, and fuck, we said this in the read between the lines here, folks. Yeah. We're going to need a bit more time. Free up some time is what we said. And because we.

And then geo blocked it from our employers. Yeah. And because we sneak into my workplace at the radio station to record, we're also going to need a space. Yeah. We might have to move house is what we think. So we need to get to about 2,000 Patreons. Yeah. We were at 1,300. I can confirm three days later, we are

at almost 1,700. Fuck off! Yeah, so over the weekend three people have joined us. Three people? 300 people have joined us. God, how was that job at NAB, mate? It was entry level. I can't be, you know, called to ask to count things

with an accounting degree. I don't have any industry experience. Mate, that's not up to you. That's fine. That's on them. So straight away, we're well on the way. So if we get to 2,000. Oh, my God.

And Patreons, actually, should we do a quick recap of what they get? Yeah, absolutely. So the Tarpers, they get to approve the podcast at the start of the episode. They get to vote on the movies and they get loved by Tony and I forever. And we'll love them forever. The exclusive Tarpers will be getting a monthly sort of Q&A, live stream, Zoom meeting where we all get together.

And we'll move around time zones so that people from all around the world can join because if in your month it's fucking 4am, then the following month we'll make sure that you can watch it at a normal time. Have we decided what the blog's going to be called yet? Still working on that? Yeah, still working on it. I think it's going to be like the Tarpa Times.

But you'll get an exclusive blog from the desk of Tony Lodge? From the desk of Dr Tony Lodge. My mistake. Yeah. Okay. Shout out to everyone who's actually been to medical school or completed a doctorate. Good for them.

Sounds great. According to my MyOneCardard mate, I'm a doctor. My mistake. So you'll get that and you'll also get the In the Bedroom segment, unedited, raw, clean and sort of some not seen elsewhere video footage from the studio. Yeah, just BTS I think will figure out how to kind of share some more raw dog footage.

Don't wink at me. Sorry. And the champion tapas, not only will we continue to get the shout outs on the podcast. And all of the stuff we've already mentioned. But you'll also get, we get a personalized video from Tony and I. When you join, asterisk on that one, we have about 7,000 to complete right now. So when you join is loose. They are coming.

They're coming. A bit of a backlog over the They are coming. They're coming. Bit of a backlog over the weekend. Yeah, they're coming. And you also get the Tony and Ryan branded Frank Green water bottle. Yes. In one of the, what I'm calling, great collabs of 2022. Yes. Well, somebody messaged me the other day and said,

can't believe Frank Green have finally collabed with you. And I said, well, actually. What? I agree. Okay. What were you going to say? Well, they're not. Like, we're buying them. We're doing this.

Like, I don't want people to think, like, oh, we managed to scalp a heap of stuff. Like, no, we are, like, organising it. We're doing everything. Very excited. Well, Ryan is doing everything. I did nothing. So someone messaged the Patreon and said,

I've realised that if I become a champion tarper for a month, it's actually cheaper to become a champion tarper than to buy the water bottle. And they messaged us, Tony, because we were talking about this before and they said, would you guys fucking hate me if I signed up for the month, just got the water bottle and then ditched out. And we said, mate, that's just good business. Yeah. That's just smart from you. Don't come at us. We don't want you to be a part of the scam chat for Tony, Karen Lodge to write you up. Yeah, no. You see a business opportunity, bro.

Mate, you've got to fly and take that. If you can touch the stars, I implore it. You've heard it from Tony's mouth. Yeah. So if you want to dip out, dip in, dip out, get your water bottle, no problem. We are going to write a list of all of the names come June 30 and then that. June 30?

Was it the end of this month? Oh, yeah, May 30. Look, you're going to get your water bottle is what we're saying. May 31 and then all good. No hard feelings. On the back end, we'll know. Oh, yeah, we'll know. Don't get me wrong, you'll be dead to us.

Yeah. But you will be able to do it. That's fine. I want to send a shout out. Can I say very quickly one more thing? Yeah. No tears change what like obviously it affects what you get, but all the tiers.

Whatever. We just need 2,000 total. Yeah. Like, there is, you don't count as three votes if you're a champion, Tapa. You join the $4 one, that's still one vote towards getting five episodes. Welcome aboard. So any is more than appreciated.

Tony and I, we received a lot of lovely messages, so genuinely thank you. Oh, my God, yes. But something tickled me real good. Oh. And that's Kate Marie Smiley. Hi, Kate Marie Smiley. Who got an actual doctor's certificate.

Did you see that? Yes, yes. The commitment is just unreal. I love that. So thank you for that And a shout out to Ian Are you fucking kidding me? Did you see that photo?

Of him with his tarp and his wrist strapped up I saw the tarp and I was like that's cute And then I saw his wrists I'm fucked I saw that and I was like fuck this guy I already didn't like him So last week we watched Top Gun Ryan got really fucked off that they taped up their wrists

to play volleyball because apparently that's not what you should do. There was a lot of support for me on that from fellow volleyballers. Yeah. I got a message from someone saying, I think that they probably strapped up their wrists because they're pilots. And I was like, that makes less sense. I was like, I'll pass it on. All good.

If you message me, thank you so much. I really appreciate it. But, yeah, so you got to be fucked off by that. So, Ian, are you fucking kidding? He's trolling me. He trolled you, which is quite funny. You know how we sometimes get a few messages that are like, usually people in like Germany, France, a few in Spain,

and they've gone, oh, I'm trying to get better at English, so I listen to your podcast and we get real nervous because we're like, mate. Because I've made a mistake. This isn't the best. It's not educational. This isn't the best example of the English language and what it could be and how it's best used. You know how lots of people watch Friends to do that?

Yeah. Friends is like a really common show that people say, oh, I watched Friends and learned how to speak English. Go watch Friends. Don't watch this. I've got another thing that's concerned me as we get into some more feedback here. Jess Patty is from Harvard University. Okay.

Yep. Why? Okay. So last week I was complaining that the scientists at Harvard did a research study that said we should only eat six fries in a city. And that guy called him a fucking nerd. Yeah. So Jess said, I go to Harvard and I do not approve this research.

Okay. Fuck them. I don't think she's in a position to do that, but that's fine. She goes, I don't approve this research. I think they should fry harder. That was great. I like that. I did like that.

I did like that. But I replied. Oh, of course. Hey, Jess, if you go to Harvard and are smart, why the fuck are you listening to this podcast? It's the same reason I watch Geordie Shore, Brain Break. She wants to listen to a couple of nongs having fun. Oh, wait.

Is that offensive that you're a brain break for someone? Nah. Still listen, mate. Is this not highbrow intellectual gear? Because this is the best I've got. Bro. Do you need me to read the chicken wing chat again? Because that was some of my good stuff.

Just because it's the best you've got doesn't mean it's the best there is. Wow. Someone saw me in the nightclubs when I was younger. Oh, okay. That was my pick-up line. Hey, just because I won't be the best you've got doesn't mean that's not the one you're going to get tonight. Is that what you're saying?

Just because I'm not good. Okay, yeah, okay. So Mel Gay jumps in and responds. Is she? Sometimes in – I don't know how I feel about Mel Gay. Oh, okay. Sometimes us intelligent people need a break too. I understand. As a fellow intelligent people need a break too.

I understand. As a fellow intelligent, as a fellow scholar, I understand what you're saying. Mel continues, God forbid you have a smart following. Maybe ask us for some recommendations or how to pronounce shit. Mel, you're a bitch. Anyway, I'll see myself out. Meow.

Love you. She knows she was in the wrong there. Okay, so she's turned that back around. Thanks, meow. I haven't been. Meow. Meow. I haven't been rammed that hard by a gay since I left George Wendell's house with all these mates.

And this is why people say that we're not for other scholars. This is why. Because you say things like that and you talk about your chicken wings. We, with Mother's Day being yesterday, depending where you're listening, or today, we told some adoption jokes and some dead mum jokes last week. Yeah, we did. A bit of feedback here. From Arbo Titan.

Hi, Arbo. Sister of Arbo Lucen. We had two children via IVF. Oh, wow. So getting pregnant naturally for a third child was a big surprise for us because they went through that whole process and they had two children. You hear stories like that? It's crazy, right?

That like once the pressure, like when you're not stressing about it, just kind of calms. Wow, that sounds. Don't say calms. Don't say calms. Don't say calms. Sorry. We tell our youngest that she's our favourite because we didn't have to pay the shipping and handling.

She's not wrong. That's very funny. Not wrong. And I'm sorry to bring this up, Tony, but there was a lovely message from a lady named Jade. Let me just read it for people who missed it. This is what Jade said. As someone that grew up in the foster system, just like I,

for eight weeks, I don't really grow up, that's unfair, Jade grew up in the foster system and a lot of kids actually, I don't want to say the word bounce around, but they're foster home to foster home. They spend probably like a lot of their childhood just getting moved around, so it was really tough for them. That's so hard. And she also lost her birth mother seven years ago at age 19,

which was the same year you were, Toni? Same year I was. Same age you were, sorry. Today's illegal jokes episode made me feel a way that I could never have predicted. Hearing something since Mother's Day was announced and constantly getting, it's all in the news, it's all horrible and stuff. And you get a million fucking emails saying like, get this for Mother's Day.

Well, I'd love to, but. So Jade said, I didn't know how to express myself. I didn't know how to feel. It's almost like there's pressure on you to want to enjoy this day when for a lot of us it's a bit of a tricky day. Yeah. So thank you so much for giving me an outlet so I could be happy, so I'd actually just feel something and feel like I'm allowed

to feel how I want to feel on what's a difficult date for me. Thank you so much, says Jade. Tony responds, thanks, Stephanie. No, I said thanks, Janice. Fucking hell. She sends this beautiful heartfelt message. Can I just say, I, Janice. Fucking hell. She sent this beautiful heartfelt message. Can I say? I had a tear in my eye reading that.

I was like, what a beautiful thing for Jade to be able to share with us the story, for us to be able to create a moment. Even for us personally, jokes aside, it's a hard day. And I was like, you know what? Maybe it was worth us having a couple of awkward moments so someone like Jade could have a really beautiful moment. And I thought the least we could do would be get her name right.

And I couldn't agree more. And what did you call her? Janice. And then what happened at your house for the rest of the day? Every time, because I wrote, thanks, Janice. It's so awful, isn't it? And I just, the rest of the day at my house, Torb's my partner, he just kept going, thanks, Janice.

And I was like, do you want a cup of tea? He's like, yeah, thanks, Janice. Good Torb. I saw the post. I approved it because I was like, fuck, like how special because it is such a fucking shitty day. How special. I've read it with fucking tears rolling down my cheeks, replied,

thanks, Janice, what a fucking bitch. I felt awful. And then you replied saying at least get her name right, and I was mortified. I do not embarrass easily, as you can fucking see from the content of this fucking podcast. I don't embarrass easily. You're a brain break.

I was fucking mortified. I could not brain break. I was fucking mortified. I could not believe that. She was happy, though. She's happy with her tarpa nickname, so cheers for that, Janice. Really appreciate you sharing your shit with us. Couldn't be fucking happier to have you, babe. You'll love to see that. Love it.

My love to see it is just to reiterate your point earlier. The way that people came out and supported us over the weekend and, you know, over the next couple of weeks, it's going to be huge. We're really fucking excited to make this podcast out and just do the fuck out of it. I think you might have stumbled across that saying as you said it, but, like, that's taken off. It's trending on Twitter.

Hashtag do the fuck out of it. And I love it. And I think it's just awesome to see the people that were like, yeah, we're fucking with you. We want to see five eps. Like, you've given us a great offering, like, on the Patreon. It's, like, totally up to you. You don't have to be part of it, but you do get extra shit.

We're not, you know. Well, everyone's going to get the extra shit either way. Yeah. Five episodes for free for everyone. Exactly. Except for Janice, obviously. She can pay. Thanks, Janice. No, not, you know. Well, everyone's going to get the extra shit either way. Yeah. Five episodes for free for everyone. Exactly. Except for Janice, obviously. She can pay. Bless her. Thanks, Janice. Nah, she has to pay. I think I should probably pay for her Patreon. I should probably take care of that.

But yeah, thank you for all the lovely messages and people that have signed up. It's been fucking awesome. It's really nice. You'll love to see it. You'll love to see that. You know what I love to see? Tell me. When people go to extreme levels of pettiness, I mean, if I was involved in a really petty argument, it's annoying people go to extreme levels of pettiness, I mean, if I was involved in a really petty argument, it's annoying, but when I see the pettiness of others,

I'm like, oh, you fucking... And you get to just fucking sit back and enjoy? I'm fucking living for this. Yes. And this is also a recommendation for anyone else who's in, like, a really shit little argument with their partner or someone. You know you always argument, like, no, I'm pretty sure it was this.

No, it's actually like that. Yeah. Their name on Twitter is DrAlienAndSkier. I'm sure that's an internet name. Yeah. I don't think that's on their birth certificate. I once edited Wikipedia to win an argument. I've never seen anything greater in my life.

It's so well played. And you can imagine the conversation around the dinner table of someone going, no, I'm pretty sure it's that! And then going, well, fuck you! And Googling it and then realising that they were wrong and going, hang on, I'm just going to... Oh, the internet's not working right now, I'm just going to

have a look. But then the smugness, so they go to the bathroom, change it in there, come back out and they go, oh, why don't we just check the Wikipedia to see who was right? I wonder if there's a Wikipedia about this. See, Michael Jordan did win 15 championships. Yeah, and good for him.

You reckon he won six, but apparently it's 15. Yeah. That's what it says on Wikipedia. Yeah, that's what I read just then for the first time. I've never seen it before, but that was my guess, and I thought so. No-one's seen it before. But if you're in a shitty little argument, because you can literally just click edit and it might not last that long

because it gets edited back and whatever. And people are just like always going through, right? Yeah. Because I'm going to like, what if you did that? And then some kid is doing their fucking year three poster fucking assignment on Michael Jordan. And then he goes, yeah, he won 16. And the teacher's like, I don't think that's right.

So he won every championship between the age of 18 and 34? Worth it for the argument, though. If that kid fails, that's their fault. You shouldn't be fucking looking at Wikipedia. Yeah, do some real research, kid. All right, tomorrow on the show, things you can say whilst camping and also in the bedroom. Yeah, and why your hometown might want to let you the fuck

out of the bloody city limits. Was that right? Yep. Flick ya. All right. Give me the flick. I promise the story's better than mine. I hope so.

I hope you've enjoyed your brain break. We'll see you tomorrow. Tomorrow. Love you. Bye.