Toni and Ryan - The Wicked Witch of Reservoir

Episode Date: November 4, 2024

And NO it's not me lol LOVE U xoCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @...toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 G'day Canada! Or how would you say hello Canada? Bonjour Canada! Not what I was expecting! Hello Canada! Also not that, Oxio is an innovative Canadian internet provider with fair prices and no surprises. Unlike Tony, she's full of them. They have prices that actually stay the same as long as you stay with them.
Starting point is 00:00:22 Seriously, no secret discounts, no annual bargaining and no hidden fees. That is amazing. And they have a risk free trial period with a 60 day guarantee. So you can literally try them out for 60 days and they'll give your money back if you don't like them. Huge news. That is amazing. Visit Oxio.ca for internet from a provider that won't ever raise your prices like ever and use the promo code at checkout tarp. That's oxio.co.ca and use code TARP at checkout to get your first month free. Today's episode is brought to you by Searchlight Pictures.
Starting point is 00:00:58 From Searchlight Pictures comes one of the most moving and funny films of the year. Written and directed by Oscar nominated Jesse Eisenberg and starring Eisenberg and Emmy Award winner Kieran Culkin, A Real Pain is a comedy about mismatched cousins David and Benji. They reunite for a tour through Poland to honour their beloved grandma, but the adventure takes a bit of a turn when the pair's old tensions resurface against the backdrop of their family history. That's what happens when you travel with family, isn't it? Bit too close to the surface. Yeah, exactly right. Remember that time you did that? No?
Starting point is 00:01:28 No, I don't remember that. I thought we were talking about that. We weren't talking about it. That was 20 years ago. A Real Pain was one of the... Well, you would say that because Grandma preferred you to me. A Real Pain was one of the buzziest titles at Sundance Film Festival this year, garnering rave reviews and acclaim from both critics and audiences alike.
Starting point is 00:01:43 See A Real Pain only in theatres on November 15. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Arthur, bestselling Dr. Arthur Tony Lodge. Is that your name? No, that's me.
Starting point is 00:01:53 No, I'm just Ryan. Oh, we're calling Yanna or Janna in San Antonio, Texas. I love it when you touch me. Am I Yanna? Sorry. After a good start, as you can tell. Hello? Yanna or Janna?
Starting point is 00:02:10 Hello? It's Janna, like Janna with a J. Yes. Janna with a J, I like that. Sorry, neither of us wanted to back anything in. How are you, Janna? I'm Janna. How are you guys?
Starting point is 00:02:22 I'm like Anna with a J. Yes. Anna with a J. I like that. Sorry, neither of us wanted to back anything in. How are you, Janna? I'm Janna. How are you guys? We are very well. Hey, Janna, I believe you have a joke for Tony Lodge. Yeah, Tony, what do you call fake spaghetti? Oh, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:02:38 Like plastic? It's an impasta. Impasta? Impasta? Oh, I don't know. Uh, Jana, are you up for today's podcast? Absolutely, I will. That's amazing. Hey, it's Jana from San Antonio, Texas, and I approve today's podcast. Yeah. Crazy times at Tarp Tower. Crazy.
Starting point is 00:03:15 Um. I love our tower. What time is it? 2021? Oh! Because. 2021. When do we start this podcast?
Starting point is 00:03:23 2021. Guys. I guess so. Sophie is sick. Yeah, Sophie's not here. Because 2021. When did this podcast start? 2021. Guys. I guess so. Sophie is sick. Yeah, Sophie's not here. There are other people in the crew who freelance and help us out from time to time we're busy. We're roardogging at old school.
Starting point is 00:03:35 We are roardogging. Two people in the building. This feels like old Saturday days where we'd spend the whole fucking weekend recording this podcast. Hit and record on my own camera like a peasant. I know. and we actually were like oh um is this uh. I've stayed true. Oh fuck off. I've stayed true to the people. I go oh so we'll just turn all the lights on ourselves and Ryan goes oh um okay and I was like no no no we
Starting point is 00:04:01 got I turned everything on. My highlight was going to turn the screen on behind Tony before realizing we removed that about four months ago. We don't have that anymore. And I'm looking at myself and I'm like, yeah, no, that hasn't been there for a really long time. But I did go to turn it on. So it wasn't that I wasn't willing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:17 No, no. Yeah. You had the right intention. It's just that you don't look at me apparently because you would notice that it wasn't there because it hasn't been there. Yeah, that's right. You know, I've just realised that I played with this light the other day. There you go.
Starting point is 00:04:30 There you go. Oh, that's a bit better. Okay. Okay. All right. We're professionals, but we're like two kids just doing this together again. Just two kids. Isn't that funny?
Starting point is 00:04:40 Yeah. Do you know what we should do though? Tea pain and tinder buyers. Oh, wow. You know how people go back and listen to the beginning of the pod? Yeah. Like they'll listen to the new episodes as they drop, but interspersed with old ones. Someone's probably just listened to T-Pain and Tinder bios. And they, like I, their opinion about T-Pain has changed. And they probably went and watched This Is Pop.
Starting point is 00:05:05 No, what I was going to say is that we should get Subway. We should get Subway. Yeah. In fact, it would be- Like how good does like a big fucking like crunchy salad sandwich sound? You know what I mean? Like, or just meatball.
Starting point is 00:05:18 Yeah, I was like- Up to you. Is that- What do you get from Subway? Is salad a nickname for meatball? Why? What do you get? Chicken, bacon ranch. Yeah. With Southwest sauce.
Starting point is 00:05:28 Yeah. Nice. I get Italian herbs and cheese, chicken classic with heaps of mayonnaise, lettuce, tomato, cucumber, no salt and pepper. And not toasted with cheddar cheese. Not toasted. I hate the crummies. Today's a big day for us actually.
Starting point is 00:05:44 Yeah. And a foot long, obviously, because I'm a big girl. Yep. I've actually got some news from Western Australia. Oh, my hometown. The dome in Mandra has closed. And it's been replaced by a new cafe called TOD, which stands for the old dome. Time of death. called TOD, which stands for the old dome. Time of death.
Starting point is 00:06:06 It's actually the old dome. Cause like the new people have like taken it over, like trying not to pay the franchise fee, but like trying to keep the clientele. So they kind of like skirting that line. They buying that Hollandaise sauce. Do you reckon they've bought it through our Amazon storefront? I hope so. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:19 And if you would like an Orgasm-itron or some Hollandaise sauce, you can go to the Tony Ryan Amazon storefront, Linkin Bayo. Is it actually in our link in bio? It's in our, oh, maybe not actually. It's, um, I posted on it. If only we had a team of people that did it. I posted it on my Instagram story about two weeks ago. So that's probably expired. Yeah. Probably one week and six days ago. Yeah. I'm not a mathematician. Um, by the time this episode goes out, fairy floss, it's the grimmest coffee. Oh, it's your grimace coffee.
Starting point is 00:06:54 Yeah. I got the grimace shake from McDonald's this morning. Have a taste. It's like an iced latte with toffee. Oh, Jiminy Jones. Yeah. That's, and that's what you. Oh, Jiminy Jones. Yeah. And that's what you could smell the sugar of that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:07 Oh, let's get some Subway. Another one of those after this. These are top confessions. Thanks to everyone sending your confessions to tonyandryan.com.au. And top confessions at Tony and Ryan podcast confessions, not top confessions, which we do get a lot. Do we? They are top confessions, not top confessions, which we do get a lot. Do we? They are top confession.
Starting point is 00:07:27 Yeah. Like, oh, top confessions. Like these are the top confessions. Oh, I thought they were like top. Like, so I was railing this bottom. Yeah. You can rail my bottom. Anonymous.
Starting point is 00:07:37 I anonymous. I didn't have enough milk to finish making the mac and cheese. And we live out in the bush, so I couldn't nip foreshadowing down to the store. So I popped a tit and put some breast milk into the mix to get the amount of milk that I needed. I know it's not a savage crime, but I didn't confess to my husband. I know that this isn't normal now, but normal. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:03 What I can confess to the taffas is that he fucking loved it. I've got a question. No, I haven't. Really? Yeah. I don't think that I could not. I would like, because it's like interesting.
Starting point is 00:08:16 So you know my wife Bridget. I do. I know your wife. I've known your wife longer than I've known you. Who gave birth to our beautiful Mabel 18 months ago now? 17, 18 months? Little maybe girl.
Starting point is 00:08:28 You just asked me, have I? Have you? I won't say. I've never tried breast milk, but I would. If you asked the tarpers for a sample. No, no. Please don't send us any breast milk. I'm looking down the barrel of the camera and begging you to not send us any breast milk. I'm looking down the barrel of the camera that may or may not be working today.
Starting point is 00:08:51 Yeah, we don't have the recording. But, and this is both a criticism and a great compliment of the type community. Here we go. Is that someone would. They would. No, they totally would. Don't. Don't. Please. But the fact that you would is actually heartwarming. So endearing. Very lovely. It's harrowing, but heartwarming. I think to try breast milk, it would have to be like someone very close to you. Like Bridget? Like a close friend. Yeah, I guess so. Are
Starting point is 00:09:23 you at that level with Bridget or? Well, I don't know. I would ask her, but I don't know that she would say yes. I think that she'd be like, Tony, that's weird as fuck. Well, you heard me on loud speaker to Bridget earlier, ask her if I was a lavender bag, would she stay married? And she said yes. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:39 And I asked the same. I said, would you still love me if I was a lavender bag? And she said, yes. So we're all in a kooky mood at my house. So if you, all I'm saying is if there was ever a chance to strike now, yeah, I think it's going to be someone really close to you, but I'm like, not related. Yeah. Oh, well, yeah. Like cause I don't think that I would, yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:57 Like I don't think I would try my sister's breast milk who would definitely be listening. Okay. Sorry, Libby. Yeah. Also you probably haven't breastfed in years. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, my youngest nephew is eight. Would Tobbs drink my breast milk or will I drink yours? Yeah. Well, since he's been tattooed, you're not allowed to. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:10:20 Now, this confession starts with a bit of a wild claim. Oh, because that was so time. Yeah. Now, but it's one of those claims that some people similar to Tony doesn't believe you can accidentally sleep with a brother. No, I don't think you can accidentally sleep with a twin. So I'm just going to read the headline and you might be one of those ones where you just go fucking that doesn't actually happen.
Starting point is 00:10:47 Okay. I accidentally got stoned at work. You know? Yeah. Well, no, you can't accidentally, I guess, unless you accidentally ate an edible. Let me read this confession. Okay. I'm a cleaner at a creative agency.
Starting point is 00:11:07 Oh, creative agency. And often they'll have big events or conferences or big meetings that has catering and there's always leftovers. Oh, and isn't that the best? Like, that email comes around. Leftover from a meeting this morning. Yeah. And we had some big clients in this morning, full catering, they've left.
Starting point is 00:11:24 If you want to head into the boardroom, there's all these wraps and sausage rolls and something. Fuck you. Because I was at every office job I've ever had, I was a fucking pleb. So I was never invited to a catered meeting, but you better believe that I was sprinting to reception after the big dogs had left. Loitering at the boardroom door. Yeah. I'd go and chat to Maria and be like, oh, they're not done are they? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:46 Was that Ave, Maria? You know, Maria and Georgia from Kiss? Yeah. They both got sucked when I was there. Oh, redundant, not sucked. Oh, I think one of them. Georgia left. Oh, okay. She got a new job, but Maria was redundancy.
Starting point is 00:12:01 She would not get fired. She was good bitch. Redacted. She's a nail and makeup artist. Did you know that? I think I did that. Yeah. Yeah. Good on her. And so she used to do, I mean, this doesn't vote well there, but she used to like do our nails for a second. Okay. She definitely got sacked. You definitely got sacked. Why is there productivity so low?
Starting point is 00:12:19 Like productivity, have you seen the tips on this? No. So she didn't get sacked, but I guess they were like a redundancy. She's not that busy. She was real busy. It's not that much. There was a line of girls from audio production trying to get their nails. We were all paying her cash. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:36 That's illegal. We weren't paying her cash. That's also illegal. We were paying an invoice with GSD associated. Oh, the accountant's going to fucking call me, isn't he? This is a confession from the cleaner. There were chocolate brownies in the creative director's personal fridge. Whilst doing my cleaning rounds, I snuck a little nibble.
Starting point is 00:13:03 You can't be eating out of someone's personal fridge. About 30 minutes later, I was flying through out of space. What? Flying through what? Out of space. Out of space? Out of space. Outer.
Starting point is 00:13:19 Out of space. Did you just say flying through out of space? Is that not what out of space? Outer space. Cause out of space is just like a hard drive that's full. There's no aliens there. That's just... Well, let's hope because we're the ones that hit record today, There's no aliens there. That's just... Well, let's hope because we're the ones that hit record today that they are, the cameras aren't out of space.
Starting point is 00:13:51 Or out of space. Either. Maybe they're both. A hard drive in out of space. All right. So the cleaners in out of space. Yeah. He's riding my vacuum like I was galloping on a unicorn, high-fiving
Starting point is 00:14:04 executives, laughing at jokes and laughing at not jokes. It was all fun until I realized what had happened. Cause you kind of like, I'm a bit kooky. And then you go, oh shit, it's probably the brownie. What did I have? And then I started thinking about it too much and I started panicking and freaking out.
Starting point is 00:14:21 But I couldn't confess or ask for help because then I would have to admit to stealing the food. Yeah. And also being high at work. Yeah. Which you're not allowed to do. But then I realized that no one could accuse me of stealing a weed brownie because then they would have to admit that they had weed brownies. Oh, this is real weed chat.
Starting point is 00:14:40 You know what I mean? We're about eight layers deep here. Yeah. Someone can't go, did you steal my weed brownie? Cause then I can go, what, if you bring weed to work and they'll go, no, and you go, that's what I thought. You know what I mean? Like, that's a good point. Yeah. Double jeopardy. So I spent the afternoon freaking out, floating around on my magic carpet and everyone had to
Starting point is 00:14:57 just kind of be okay with it. And like, we just never really spoke about it. I mean, the vacuum being a unicorn is a real highlight for me. Hey, it's Shanna from San Antonio, Texas, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Before we get into the champion top, it's just two updates. We are yet to get Subway. And two, you can't be taking shit out of people's personal fridges. No, no, no, no, you can't. That is- Oh, sorry.
Starting point is 00:15:41 What did you call me? What did you call the cleaner? There's a difference between taking leftovers from the conference and something out of someone's personal fridge. Food on the table, I think is all good. On the table? Yes. Everything's in place.
Starting point is 00:15:52 Is that where that saying's from? It might be. Sorry. I had a brownie from the fridge just before. I'm not acting at my peak right now. But I think in a fridge, because otherwise when you do you go? Oh, well this, um, bit of lasagna in a Tupperware container must be fair game. Well, no, that's fucking Sarah's lunch. Oh, it says Tony on the front of it.
Starting point is 00:16:13 That just must mean a code word for have some. Is that the brand of Tupperware this is? Like, do you know what I mean? I didn't realize people, uh, companies were branding their Tupperware with, uh, paper, fucking what's the thing I'm trying to say? Masking tape? No. Label?
Starting point is 00:16:29 No, yeah, sort of, but the, Ah. They're like, they're yellow square. Post-it notes. Yes. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I imagine I said that good. He's funny, isn't he?
Starting point is 00:16:37 I worked somewhere once though, where people were so protective of their stuff that in one of the offices, all of the ladies had their own bar fridge. Cause they didn't trust the other people. I also worked in that office. We've worked in a few of the same places. So people won't be able to deduce that.
Starting point is 00:16:53 No, but they will know. Actually, I won't say that. Don't say it. Don't say it. I won't say that I've never stolen a Jim Beam and Cola from Sharon's fridge. You are going to prison. Especially when I was doing breakfast radio and my day ended at about midday on a Friday. I will take myself home for lunch.
Starting point is 00:17:14 Thank you very much. A massive shout out to a few of the champion tapers over at our Patreon. A bunch of these guys, they'll all be getting calendars. So the cutoff for calendars already passed, so don't even worry about it. But Danny Jones, absolutely love you, Danny. Thank you. Jenna Weaver, Doug PDX. That sounds cool. Elizabeth Rusbridge, Shane, Johnny Leo and Jackie Robinson, who is such a good bitch.
Starting point is 00:17:38 I've talked to Jackie heaps in the Patreon messages, so it's good to see you. So the other day, I'm standing out the front of my house with Pippa. We'd just gotten back from a walk. So we'd done a burl around the block and then I was like, oh, I'll check the mail and like, oh, I'll tidy up the front garden a little bit. And I'm kind of just standing out there with her.
Starting point is 00:18:01 Can I make another confession for a confession episode? When you said we were hanging out the front, I pictured both you and Pippa on rocking chairs with rifles. Oh, just like, keep on walking. Yeah. What are you looking at? Not at my garage, like Clint Eastwood. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like real in the south.
Starting point is 00:18:14 And Pippa had her own little rocking chair. Oh my God, that is so cute. And like a little handkerchief, like what do you got? A neckerchief? Yeah, that is actually very cute. With her no neck. Yeah, should we do that no neck. Very cute. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:26 Should we do that? That's really cute. Anyway, now, so we're out the front. I've taken Pip for a walk and I'm kind of like, oh yeah, what's going on out here? And we don't really have much of a front yard. It's more that we've just like the driveways there. And as we're standing out there, this old woman kind of goes to walk past and doubles back and goes, do you live here? And I was like, the house I'm like, checking the mail off.
Starting point is 00:18:46 No, I'm sitting in someone else's rocking chair. Yeah, I'm holding someone else's gun. No, I'm like, yeah, yeah, I do. And I'm like, what's coming? Yeah. Because you did. It's an initial question. I thought, oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:59 And you kind of go, oh, I don't really know where you're going with this. And I'm, the house, I'm like, I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to what's coming? Yeah. Because you did. It's an initial question. It's not, yeah. And you kind of go, oh, I don't really know where you're going with this. And I'm going through my mind. So I'm like, people doesn't bark. So I know that it's not someone complaining about her. I'm like, oh, we don't listen to loud music.
Starting point is 00:19:16 I'm like trying to go through all the things that someone might complain about. Maybe she's hearing like excessive soda streaming. I thought you were about to say something else, um, which could have been true. So the streaming or soda screaming. Is that what you meant? Yeah, I did. I just, every night I'm like, pssh, not the soda stream. Sorry, that was a joke.
Starting point is 00:19:40 Yeah. Redacted. The sound you made. We don't have anyone to redact anything. Oh yeah. Yeah. Redacted. The sound, you made. We don't have anyone to redact anything. Oh yeah. Yeah. Ryan, write that down. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:48 Someone write that down. No one's here. Anyway, she's like, do you live here? And I was like, oh, yeah, I do. And she goes, oh, I used to live next door. Oh, sorry, mate. Coincidence shats another day. And I was like, no, you didn't.
Starting point is 00:20:02 We've had the same neighbors the whole time we've lived here. And she's like, no, you didn't. We've had the same neighbors the whole time we've lived here. And she's like, oh yeah, years ago. And I was like, oh, and I went, really? And I'm being like, as polite as possible. And that's on you. That's great. See you, mate. I invited you in. Yeah. Yeah. You're too nice. You're too nice. I know. And then, so she, I'm like, did you really? She goes, yes. And you know, like old people are telling a story and they like insist on the year and the month being correct. And as someone who loves a story with a lot of detail, I know that I'm like that sometimes,
Starting point is 00:20:42 but when old people do it, it is torture. It is like actually being a fucking hostage and they are like holding you down because I'm being really polite right. She's like, yeah, I lived next door in 1990. Oh, no, it must've been 1997. Oh no, that year I broke my leg. Maybe it was 1998. No, it wasn't 1998 because we had the blue car there. And I don't think we lived here. And she goes, see that tree in the front yard. I planted that. And I was like, oh, wow. Like how nice. That is actually nice. You know, and then I'm kind of like, oh, wow, that's beautiful.
Starting point is 00:21:20 And I was like, oh, so you obviously still live in the area. And she goes, Oh, yes. But the house that we're in now is a colonial. I don't know. She, you know, when people use those words, like an old colonial double front. I don't know what the fuck that means. Listen, bitch, I'm sure that you're proud of that, but I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what that means, but awesome.
Starting point is 00:21:39 But she goes, Oh, so the, the house that we bought, actually, the bedrooms are tiny. The bedrooms in your house are very big. And I'm like, come the fuck again. Yeah. She knows. And she goes, Oh yes. Well, I, I used to live here a long time and I know the people that lived here before you and I was like, Oh yeah, they were, they were great.
Starting point is 00:21:58 We've, um, she goes, how long have you lived here? And I was like, Oh, about a year. And she goes, Oh yes. Well, the couple before you were really lovely, weren't they? Who lives in my old house now? And I was like, Oh, they're really nice. And she goes, Oh, well, I'd never see them outside. And I was like, Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:22:19 Their actual life goal isn't to hang out the front in case some old duck fucking wonders around every 18 months. And so she goes, she goes, we don't measure our goodness as a neighbor by it's not measured by how long we stand still at the front for. And it was kind of like she did it as a read. Like she's like, oh, well, they're never out the front. And I was like, um, OK.
Starting point is 00:22:42 Anyway, and I go, oh, well, they've got kids like they're busy. You know how it is kind of thing. She goes, no, I've never had kids. I'm like, oh, as soon as you sit, no, that's actually, there's a bit on you on this story. And then it's mainly on her, but there is a bit on you. I feel like I'm not sure. Oh, well, they're busy, you know, like, and then she just starts kind of telling on story. Anyway.
Starting point is 00:23:01 So she goes, yeah, well, when I lived here, I know the people that lived here before you. And I know the people that lived here before them. And I was like, oh wow, like if those walls could talk, you know, and she goes, do you know what they'd say? And I was like, oh my. I don't think I want to know that. I don't know if I want to know that. Am I about to get fucking possessed by this woman?
Starting point is 00:23:27 Is this a fucking sleep paralysis, Stephen? Anyway, and by this point, I'm like, I've kind of picked up Pippa so I can like- Shuffle off. Kind of move inside. Yeah, good call. Great call. So I picked up Pippa. She's like, oh, well, if those wolves could talk. And I was like, oh, yeah, I'm not asking you what they would say, but I'm just like trying to get out of this. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:46 And she goes, well, you know that that woman died in this house. And I was like, Oh, okay. And she goes, Hmm. She wasn't that nice. And then she died. And I was like, Oh, did she die suddenly by bullet wound? And I go, oh wow. Like how sad.
Starting point is 00:24:14 And she goes, you know what happened, don't you? And I was like, oh no. Do we need to add some true crime music or something? Maybe. She goes tripped on her dog, looks at Pippa and then goes, dad. And I go, oh, and she goes, you be careful. One trip walks up. So this whole time Pippa was the murderer.
Starting point is 00:24:47 Holy fuck. Pippa was there when we moved in. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, here's my next victim. Right. But like this, I'm like, are you threatening me? Like, and she just like looks at Pippa, she's like Pippa and she's just like,
Starting point is 00:24:59 yeah, you be careful. One chop. You know how people do that? Yeah. One chop. One chop. One chop. Now I've got a question. Question.
Starting point is 00:25:07 Is it not the most upsetting thing you've ever heard? It's fucking harrowing. It's fucking upsetting. And that's actually- I should have checked on the cameras to see if she was really there. Maybe she's a ghost. So that's sort of what I'm getting at. Have you taken any brownies from the work?
Starting point is 00:25:22 Can we be sure that this lady exists? I've just become a cleaner and that's what's happened. That was my confession. Can you check sure that this lady just become a cleaner? And that's what's happened. That was my confession. Can you check on the cameras? I probably can. Yeah. Because that's just like a little too, it was so strange. Would that be the first scene of a movie or the last scene of a movie? Do you think is it the first thing? Cause it's like the foreshadowing. It's like, Oh, you'd be careful. One drop about that little doggy. Maybe we do need clean this without the front. Yeah. Actually that's, Oh, you'd be careful on Trump about that little doggy. Maybe we do need Clint Eastwood out the front. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:46 Actually that's a really good point, but yeah. So it was just actually really upsetting. And it was like, no, I have no idea. I think it was the bedroom off the kitchen. The closest one. No, it wasn't. Yep. That's right.
Starting point is 00:25:59 No, it wasn't. Yeah. And I think it was there. I think that it didn't happen and she's lied. Yeah. And I think it was there. I think that it didn't happen. And she's lied. But just the way that she looked at Pippa was like, just like the devil was there. I actually spoke to that old lady this morning. While you're out the front of my house.
Starting point is 00:26:15 Yeah. And she goes, do you live here? She has the same conversation. And I go, no, but my best friend does. And she goes, did you hear about that lady that like died on the ground and her body turned in to a built in table. And I said, I've seen the ghost is called Benny. Yeah. And turned her into a, a booth. Like if we're being honest, and this is fucking dark and grim, but like, most houses that have been around for a while, someone's died.
Starting point is 00:26:47 Yeah, it's like, it's not really that- But it just feels so icky and the house across the street just got sold and it was a deceased estate, like the lady- The people with the veggie garden? Next door. I love them. Same. Same. Oh my god, you've just given me the fright of my life. Next to them, next to them.
Starting point is 00:27:06 And I, Mabel and I, my property development partner, went and had a squiz and we actually saw the neighbors over there and we went, oh, I was having a squiz. And they go, oh, you're having a squiz? And we kind of went. Well, everyone's having a nosy, aren't they? But then I read on the thing, cause I'd never, I'd never actually seen anyone there, like older. The people that I saw coming in and out must have been the grandkids.
Starting point is 00:27:26 And I just assumed it was a- Or maybe they had home help or something and it was someone coming in and helping them out. Yeah, but I sort of, the big block in the house is like right down the back. So you- Yeah, you actually can't see it. And then I got in there and it said,
Starting point is 00:27:37 deceased to stay and it just came with a heebie jeebies. And then I went, oh, but everyone, someone's died in every house. Because it makes you feel sad that, you know, someone passed away and you think about like how the family would be feeling. But I'll be honest, I didn't feel any emotion other than deep fear.
Starting point is 00:27:54 I didn't feel sad for the woman or her family because I just got cursed by this old witch in the street. And I'm standing there holding Pippa, holding onto her for dear life. And then we walk in and Pippa kind of walks past my feet and I'm like, you trying to get me? So Sophie's not in today. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:12 She doesn't have a dog. Oh, thank God. Yeah, she's fine. Thank God. She's fine. Thank God. Did anyone just hear that gunshot? No, I wouldn't have heard that.
Starting point is 00:28:21 There was a big bang from outside. It sounded- It's the woman. It's either a gunshot or the sound of someone tripping on a dog and hitting the ground. And their head exploding. Doesn't think that... I'm actually changing my love to see it. I feel a bit spooked now that we're live.
Starting point is 00:28:37 Yeah, no, but I'm going to lean into this. It's Confessions Day. It's Spooky Day. Okay. I've actually got a recommendation for my love to see it. Amazing. We haven't had a recommendation in ages. But you have to be in the mood and I think if you just lean into this... Don't fucking wink it. There's no one else here to see it. There's no witnesses.
Starting point is 00:28:53 Oh, don't. The cameras might be rolling. We're not sure. That's the movie from Anna Kendrick called Woman of the Hour. Oh my God. We went to put that on the other night, but it was like 11pm and I was like, nah, I don't think I'm ready. Nah, but you need to watch it at night. So she actually directed it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which I didn't realise until I did my Wikipedia deep dive afterwards. After. Yeah. But she's incredible. The guy, I didn't know the actor beforehand. Incredible actor because he- Don't say, you do this, right? You tell me all about a great movie, but then you tell me everything that happens.
Starting point is 00:29:29 I won't tell you anything except this. The story is about a serial. Well, she meets him on a game show. A game show, yeah, like a dating show. Yeah, but this guy, and I think this is true of a lot of psychopaths, is that he is a psychopath. But then when he turns it on...
Starting point is 00:29:50 It's the old woman! Hello? Oh no! What sort of dog was it? It just tripped right over it. You kidding me? At Tony's house. You jushing me. Jushing me.
Starting point is 00:30:08 All right. Thanks for letting me know. I think your phone's on silent. I think your computer's not on silent. The ability for the actor to be like a chilling... Yeah. Like actually like me and Bridget were on the couch. Did she the spooks, yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:26 And then in the next scene is so charming. Oh, yep. And that's, you know, how they find the next person is- Oh, stop. Okay. But the actual- So you recommend, it's good. But the making of the movie, it's like so well made
Starting point is 00:30:40 and it's like- Well, I've heard, I read- And this lady comes in at the end and goes- No, Ryan. Is that a dog, is it? Oh, well, I've heard, I read this lady comes in at the end and goes, no, Ryan, is that a dog? Is it? You be careful. One shot. Actually, I will include a spoiler. It ends with Anna Kendrick tripping on a dog and dying and turning into a booth dining table. And she lived in reservoir. It's a true story. But it is actually a great movie, great performance as well, Shaw. And it's like, yeah, it's my recommendation. Yeah. Oh, that's a good one.
Starting point is 00:31:06 Because I've had my eye on that one. I want to watch it. I've got a love to see. It's actually a sweet one. This is from Rebel Ray on Patreon. And we were messaging backwards and forwards and then Rebel Ray ended our message correspondence with this. Tony, please tell Ryan this, because I think it's normally you responding to these messages, which it is.
Starting point is 00:31:24 It's true. But I'm passing this on. Ryan, you are so funny and don't let people tell you otherwise. Dry humor is top humor. Okay. So this is a bit of a backhanded one because you know, when people say like, Oh my God, don't listen to them. You are beautiful.
Starting point is 00:31:40 Who's saying anything? What are they saying? No, but I think it's sweet. And I just thought you would like to see a little pump up that you are so funny. And don't let people tell you otherwise. Who's? They don't. Well, just don't let them.
Starting point is 00:31:56 In an episode thread last week, I believe it was when Tony was saying how much she would suck a dick if she was proposed to. Yeah. I think here it is. Lauren King. Hi, Lauren. Honestly, this episode was so good. Tony Lodge is fucking gold. I've never heard Tony be funnier.
Starting point is 00:32:17 Thanks for being on the show, Ryan. So there's just love pouring in for both of us. Lauren King. Good on you, Lodge. Thank you, babe. I really appreciate that. So there's just love pouring in for both of us. Lauren King. Good on your loss. Thank you, babe. I really appreciate that. Well, that's all for today.
Starting point is 00:32:30 I think we're both going to go fucking go home and not trip over our dogs. Let's not be jinxing shit, you know? What if a tarpa trips on a dog today? How are you going to feel? They won't. Because they haven't been cursed by the wicked witch of Reservoir like I have. Wicked witch of Reservoir? Well, we know today's title. The wicked witch of the North East or wherever the fuck I live.
Starting point is 00:32:56 And let's hope that Sophie doesn't need too many more days off because we need someone here to rein us in our fields. Put your feet up, sweetheart. To avoid the dogs, obviously. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To avoid the dogs, obviously. Yeah, yeah, yeah, just stay safe. We'll be back tomorrow. Love you.
Starting point is 00:33:09 Oh, actually, new segment tomorrow. Huge news. Obviously, Ryan's come up with another thing that's normal or not. Nah, nah, it's good. It is good. Big day. Big, big, big day.
Starting point is 00:33:20 All right. Love you, bye.

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