Toni and Ryan - The Worst IKEA Hack Ever

Episode Date: February 6, 2025

[VIDEO FOR THIS EP AVAILABLE ON YOUTUBE] Ikea hacks that might not actually be hacks tbh lol LOVEEEEE YOU HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!!! Toni xoCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make su...re you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 With the Fizz loyalty program, you get rewarded just for having a mobile plan. You know, for texting and stuff. And if you're not getting rewards like extra data and dollars off with your mobile plan, you're not with Fizz. Switch today. Conditions apply. Details at fizz.ca. Bonjour Canada! Ahad le Nohe! We're here to talk about our friends Oxio. Oxio is an internet service provider that launched with the mission of being the first ISP that people actually like.
Starting point is 00:00:33 And they've gone above and beyond because I don't like Oxio. I love Oxio. I was going to say. I'm ready. Oh my God. I'm ready. And they have fixed prices that actually stay the same, no term contracts and a risk-free trial period of 60 days. Imagine if all relationships had that kind of guarantee. Yeah, just a second date would be fine. Or even food.
Starting point is 00:00:53 I guarantee you'll love what you're about to eat. You know, how good would that be? Should we open a restaurant and do that? Because not many people can guarantee stuff. I like that. Oh, let's do it. Now this is rare here in Australia. So you please respect this. Fast internet speeds of up to one gig per second.
Starting point is 00:01:11 Oh pure luxury. Our internet is like rolling a rock on the floor. That's a really great example. It actually like it's like pushing. Well you know something exciting about Australia is that I can be watching my sports team on cable and then go on Twitter and find out who won. The internet is that slow and I'm trying to watch the game. Let's move to Canada. I'm moving there. Yup. Oxio.ca.
Starting point is 00:01:35 Visit Oxio.ca for internet from a provider that won't ever raise your prices like ever and use the promo code at checkout tarp. That's OXIO, O X I O dot C A and use code T A R P at checkout to get your first month free. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Arthur Tony Lodge. We are calling the homeland, the motherland. Is it WA or is it New Zealand? We're calling Wellington, New Zealand. This is Mark. Oh.
Starting point is 00:02:06 Oh. Come on, Mark. Oh, only if he lets you. Hello. Speaking. Kia ora, Mark McNeil. Kia ora, happy new year. Happy new year, Mark.
Starting point is 00:02:22 Mark, Tony just said some harrowing things about you when you weren't listening. To Tony, do you want to share? Go on. Well, no, you hadn't answered quite yet and there'd been a couple of rings and I said, oh, come on, Mark. And I said, only if he lets you, you know,
Starting point is 00:02:36 I just lack consent, but also fun. Yeah, absolutely. That sounds like a soft no. I was locking up the shot. I sounds like a soft no. I was walking up the shop. I was like, it was actually a laugh because I couldn't hear what was said. And so it was one of those laughs that you just say in hopes that it's appropriate. Oh, yes.
Starting point is 00:02:55 Yeah. When you can't quite hear someone at a party and you just, and you've asked what three times so you have to go. Yeah. Crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, that was one of those unfortunately. That's probably for the best, Mark. Three times. So you have to go. That's probably for the best Mark. It's actually really for the best.
Starting point is 00:03:12 Will you approve today's episode? Yes, I certainly will. Yeah. Hey, it's Mark from Wellington in New Zealand and I approve this podcast. All right, welcome. And Tony and I just cannot stop talking about this photo from small space living where she says we did the Ikea bed hack for my daughter's bedroom. The storage space is unreal. Now we'll pop it on the screen on YouTube, but Tony, can you describe,
Starting point is 00:03:59 and Tony and I haven't shut the fuck up about this in office all week, but can you describe this for us? So- What's the hack? The hack, quote unquote, for anybody that's not watching on YouTube and can't see the photo right now. We will pop it in our episode thread as well on Facebook, but it is a raw mattress on top of like four, three drawer filing cabinets. Or filing cabinets. All filing cabinets.
Starting point is 00:04:26 Like, but it's, but they're really tall. But they're not just like a bedside table. They're like a, like full clothes. Yeah, like a set of drawers. But there's four of them. So one on each corner. They also don't meet in the middle. So I'm assuming that the raw mattress
Starting point is 00:04:45 is like sagging in the middle as well. Which is really upsetting. But the thing that is- Oh, that's not the thing that upset me the most. What's the thing that fucks you right up? Well, okay. It's really high off the ground. It looks very, very dangerous.
Starting point is 00:05:03 Yeah. And also- That's not actually still the most upsetting thing for me. ground. It looks very, very dangerous. Like, and also. That's not actually still the most upsetting thing for me. Okay. Please enlighten us. Cause I think I know what you're going to say. Obviously space under the bed can be dead space. So she said the storage space is unreal. The room's pretty fucking big.
Starting point is 00:05:22 There's room to have all that shit and a normal bed. You're not in a tiny apartment. It looks like you're in a leafy suburb in a huge bed. You're, oh, a saving on space. You don't need a saver. You've got heaps. It's real. And also because the drawers open out ways
Starting point is 00:05:41 next to the bed head. Oh, I didn't even think of that. You wouldn't be out, like, there's no bedside table there or anything because they open into that. So you're just suspended in the air. Where's your phone charger? Or what about if you leave a drawer open then you go to get out and just shin bash yourself
Starting point is 00:05:57 on the way down? Like, there's just so much wrong with it. But honestly, this kid must be like eight feet in the fucking air. So when you first saw this, what was the first thing you did? First thing you thought. Sent it to you.
Starting point is 00:06:10 Okay. I, and then I saw it and I was like, oh. I need to see the comments. Are other people thinking what we're thinking? My favorite comment is your daughter Shaquille O'Neal. Cause it's so fucking high. It's honestly so tall. Like I reckon that, fuck, I wonder how,
Starting point is 00:06:29 there is a, okay, actually there is a window in this photo and the bed is higher than the window. Yeah. But also the paintings, like your head's gonna touch the paintings. Yeah, your head's gonna hit the paint, yeah, good call. Yeah, there's like things on the wall behind. Well, I mean, there's no fucking bed head tall enough.
Starting point is 00:06:48 So that's what's happening there. Jason comments, imagine needing a parachute to get out of bed every morning. And Danielle says, parachute to get out. Yes. But you also need a cherry picker to get in. But I need to know how old the daughter is. Yeah, that's a really good question. But also I'm, is no one else, is no one else thinking about the fact that that mattress is just going to get all saggy in the middle because there's no support.
Starting point is 00:07:14 And just engulfs. And then they're just in a mattress. That's where they live now. And then wouldn't the actual drawers like tip over? Oh yeah. actual drawers like tip over? Cause like if that went down the middle, they would just fall over. Yes, Sophie. Can I say what's stressing me out?
Starting point is 00:07:33 Yeah. The blanket going over the drawers. Oh. And then getting caught in the. And trying to opening it up and then you get close. I'm sick about that. Do you think though that that, I think it's very valid, but is that just for the photo? Yeah, but then they've gone, oh, we'll make that all nice, but you never use that throw
Starting point is 00:07:53 blanket again. Maybe she's going to tie herself to that so she can like get down like fireman pole. Like, like abseil down the thing. Abseil is the word I was looking for. Like Rapunzel. Yes. Repel down the side of the bed. That's actually functional, Sophie, so we can't lose it.
Starting point is 00:08:11 Damien O'Kane comments. He goes, he's done a little two way conversation in the comments here. Love it. My kid fell out of bed last night. Oh no, are they okay? Not sure. They haven't landed yet. My kid fell out of bed last night.
Starting point is 00:08:23 Oh no, are they okay? Not sure they haven't landed yet. Lee Williams said at least give her some carpet for the landing. Yes, it's on like hardwood floor. Um, Morgan, who's got out of the two of us, the best, actually the four of us, the best, um best like David Attenborough voice. Should we all audition? Yeah, OK. OK. I'll go first, because I'm really confident.
Starting point is 00:08:52 We'll go around. I'm confident in my abilities. OK. What am I narrating right now? You're just going to give me an example. And then whoever the winner is, I'll give them the line. OK. And then we get to say. And then I'll tell them what to say. This is my David Attenborough accent. You'll see the large dog coming towards
Starting point is 00:09:13 the small pool of water. It's pretty good, Charles. I'm not good at that. Follow that, fucker. Neither am I, man. Welcome to the team. This is Tony's love language, Charles. I love it when people do accent work.
Starting point is 00:09:25 Yeah, we made him do Mr. Bean the other day. Yeah, we made Charles do his bean the other day. It wasn't good. It was very bad. This is my David Asenberg. No. No, that's not Big Brother, Charles. That was awful.
Starting point is 00:09:37 Fired. I told you. Yeah, no, but you know what? You put yourself out there and for that we applaud you. Sophie. Oh shit, all right. Yeah, no, but you know what? You put yourself out there and for that we applaud you. Sophie. Oh shit. All right. Not hard to follow up.
Starting point is 00:09:49 The wild leopard approaches the small Chihuahua. That was very good. Bonus points for Chihuahua. Yeah, that was very good. Imagine needing a parachute to get out of bed every morning. It's not the worst. It sounded a bit Paddington. Don't talk about Paddington, please.
Starting point is 00:10:14 I can't handle it. It's between Tony and Sophie. Sophie, please take it away. Sophie, I'm going to text you. Sophie got the laugh on Chihuahua. You worked hard for that, Sophie. Yeah. All right.
Starting point is 00:10:26 I'm texting Sophie the line. Also, this room is so beige. It makes me want to hit myself in the head with a hammer. All right. The summit is still out of sight. The Sherpas have deserted me. Supplies are running low and altitude sickness is real. Oh, I forgot the last bit.
Starting point is 00:10:51 Oh, it is day three of trying to climb up to my bed. Made all the better with the performance of the last time. Yeah, that was great. That was great. That was great. That was great. That was great. Oh, hang on. I've got one more. Final comment. And I just, if we don't want to take this on, we can just leave it there and go to the ad break. Love it.
Starting point is 00:11:18 Because there's a, we could spend an hour on this comment and you'll know the bit when you hear it. Okay. It's from Mimi. Hi Mimi. All these comments about falling out of the bed. I'm 38 and have never once fallen out of bed and I'm left-handed. Hey, it's Mark from Wellington in New Zealand and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. With the Fizz loyalty program, you get rewarded just for having a mobile plan.
Starting point is 00:11:57 You know, for texting and stuff. And if you're not getting rewards like extra data and dollars off with your mobile plan, you're not with Fizz. Switch today. Conditions apply. Details at phys.ca. ["Fizzle"] ["Fizzle"] ["Fizzle"] A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. All levels of Patreon are currently scrolling across the bottom of the video show if you're watching on YouTube.
Starting point is 00:12:21 But a few of our champion tapas, Cybear, good on you Cybear, thank you. Katie Kodogan, Amanda Ness, Jess Bart. Good on you, Jess. Tanika Unayake, Brianna Richardson and Ailey Fairley. Thank you very much for being part of it. We love to see it. We can't make the show without you. Thank you very much. Now, if you have a friend that's always tagging you and shit on Instagram, trying to win stuff, show them this. Because instead of tagging you, they can tag at Ryan dot John, they can tag at Tony Lodge.
Starting point is 00:12:51 Because we love this shit and it's the year of winning. That's really cute. You know, my Instagram handle off my heart. Yeah, I follow you. No, but that's actually quite cute. I don't think I would have known yours. It's my name. No, but you got a dot and that throws things all out of whack. I hate the dot. Yeah, I would too.
Starting point is 00:13:09 I would too. It's really upsetting. Cause like at Tony Lodge, how good. Easy. It's so clean. It's like nummies, but like, oh, dot to bloody 1856, you know? Which is, it's just Ryan. No, but like you throw in a dot and then a number and then you're anyone.56, you know? Which is, it's just Ryan, Ryan, but like.
Starting point is 00:13:25 No, but like you throw in a dot and then a number of them, then you're anyone. Like, who knows? Obviously Instagram is the favorite area, but for this, you can win anything. As long as there's a prize, you can win. But as a community, we're going to win a thousand things in 2025. That's cleared things up. For those listening to the audio version, Tony has mime now at a thousand and I saw her counting the zeros.
Starting point is 00:13:54 One, two, three. I was like, it's going to be a hundred or 10,000. No, a thousand. She's got it. I got it. All right. As of January. Yeah, we're going to need a moment for the counting.
Starting point is 00:14:07 Were you a clown mime in a former life? No, but you know what I'm thinking about? Heaps of video you showed me like two weeks ago of the guy miming to Torn. Because I've never seen that before. Yeah. Thought I saw a man. Like she does a little penis thing. Yeah, so good.
Starting point is 00:14:29 As a community, we're going to win a thousand things this year. At the end of January, we have had 160 wins. Whoa, really? We're currently accepting wins on our website. Yep. If you've had a win and you'd like to share it. Tonyandryan.com.au there's a submit your stories. Sorry about all the dots in the website.
Starting point is 00:14:53 You actually cannot not have that. Of the 160 wins, 11 meat trays. That's surprisingly low. Including Millie from Newcastle, Molly from Adelaide and Jenna at the Old Toon Gabby Bowling Club. Oh my God. Not just limited to Australian winners, by the way, this could be anybody. Now, this feels, don't you feel like this is a little bit like Spotify wrapped? Yeah. You're like, you're like giving us all of our data for the month. Um, Beck tagged us in an Instagram competition.
Starting point is 00:15:28 Yeah. And I've liked every single one that I've seen. And won tickets to the Pink Flamingo strip show. Here's a picture of her and her family with the strippers. Hot. Absolutely love it. Yep. Which one of the strippers, you know, they're, they're all looking good.
Starting point is 00:15:47 Um, that is unreal. That's fine. In Brisbane? Is that, yeah. Is that what I look like? Yes. That's what I thought. Yep. Um, now.
Starting point is 00:15:54 Sorry, I'm going to stop looking at that. Yeah, I'll take that back. Thank you. Hang on to that a bit too long, I feel. Um, now Emily Townsend, she's from Penrith in New South Wales. Hi, Emily Townsend from Penrith in New South Wales. I don't think there's a prize that's winnable on this planet that Tony will respect more. Oh, did she win like free express shipping for the year or something?
Starting point is 00:16:16 Better. Is that a prize you can win? That's a pretty good idea. That is pretty good. Emily Townsend from Penrith. Pretty good idea. Yeah. That is pretty good. Emily Townsend from Penrith. I won the car park lottery at work. So I have on-site parking.
Starting point is 00:16:29 All the staff had their name in a barrel and they pulled out my name. So I've got my own car park at work. I am speechless. That is way better than express shipping for free. Remember when you stole that other girl's car park at kids? I did not steal it. Tony said, I really need a car park. So they went to this other girl and said, bad luck, sweetheart, Tony's taking your car.
Starting point is 00:16:53 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's not what happened. It's kind of what happened. No, it's not what happened. There were two car parks. The one that she had was like a tandem car park. So she to get out had to, like someone else had to move so that she could get out. The other free car park was like you didn't, it was like a parallel park. So someone else didn't have to leave. So it wasn't that she lost a car park. She just wanted a better one one and I got the better one because that hadn't been assigned to anyone. Likely story. No, I pro 1000%.
Starting point is 00:17:31 And this was the whole thing is that like she still had a car park. And I said, I will take the 10. I don't really care. I just need to spot. Cause I'm just the bigger person. Yes, Sophie. Do you want to give everyone an update on our parking feng shui?
Starting point is 00:17:50 Well, we figured out a way that we all fit in, which has been great. Downstairs. Yeah, even with a few extra cars. Yeah. You know, it's been great. It was an issue. Well, we were like not really sure how it was going to go.
Starting point is 00:18:00 Anyway though, that is a great fucking thing for a business to offer. Paige in Adelaide won a jug of cider for picking the winning duck in a rubber duckie river race. That sounds like a really fun competition. We picked James Van Der Beek and that mother ducker won. James Van Der Beek. That is hilarious. That's not even really a pun because that's his actual name. His name happens to be Beek at the end. That's not even really a pun because that's his actual name. His name happens to be Beak at the end. That's really funny.
Starting point is 00:18:28 Like, that's how they used it. No, but it wasn't like, oh, his last name's Van Der Treak. And they were like, oh, let's change it to Beak. Like it's already there. The work is done for you. Work smarter, not harder. That's amazing. I absolutely love that.
Starting point is 00:18:42 I think that what we should do with all of these competitions is like, then we try and win them next year. A thousand of them? We go to Adelaide and we do the ducky duck and spoon river race or whatever it was. We try and win a car park. It's Fridays for a lot of Google stuff. Can you just Google a thousand divide 365?
Starting point is 00:19:03 stuff. Can you just Google a thousand divide 365? Yeah. So every day of the year, you'll have to win. 2.74 things every single day for a whole year. Yeah. Okay. So maybe we just pick our favorites. Yeah. Melissa. Hi Melissa. Hi, Melissa.
Starting point is 00:19:25 Don't some of these Instagram accounts really make you fucking earn? Yes. Sometimes the people you tag have to also follow the account. I'm not following anyone. Can that be my, that's my, like, I'm not following someone. They made me tag two people, Tony and Ryan, share to my story, subscribe to their YouTube and follow them on Facebook just to be put into the drawer to get a pedicure.
Starting point is 00:19:52 But here the fuck I am getting the feet done for free. Don't you love to see it? You probably Melissa, the only one that did it. Yeah. Everyone else went, well, I'm not following you on YouTube. Yeah. And now you're a fader on our Instagram channel. So all the best with that. Follow us on YouTube though. Yeah. Yeah. You don't win anything. Tonyandryan.com.au there's a submit your stories tab and in there is like, tell us who wins.
Starting point is 00:20:17 We need to get to a thousand this year and we're off to a cracking start. So great job everyone. We're tracking well. What did you say we've had so far? 111? 160. 160. Yep. Which're tracking well. What did you say we've had so far? 111 160 160. Yep. Which if we do that every month equals. 160 times 10 is a thousand and 60. No, no, you're on the right.
Starting point is 00:20:41 I like where you're at though. Like, you know what I mean? And then add another two, which for the two. So 1,062. No. And then add another 160, 280. Is that right? 16 times two is 20, 32. Yep. 16 times two is 20, 32. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:05 Don't you did it, but that's true. So 32 every two months. Yeah. How'd you get to do 60? So, so 320 times six, six threes. What's three sixes at 18, 1,800. Um, and a bit of change 2000? Yeah, no, I'll cop that.
Starting point is 00:21:28 It's a one nine 60. One nine, one nine 20. There you go. Yes, he's done it. I went the long way around, but I still got there. That was good, that was good. I'm actually quite impressed by that. Can we, is that another win?
Starting point is 00:21:46 Just so you know, that's another win. There's no prize. There's no prize. Or you can submit it. We'll see how we go. Oh, I know. But on Monday's episode, we were pretty tired. So we ended up just watching a night's tale and doing a live commentary. Cause we sort of gave up.
Starting point is 00:22:00 And it was on mute as well. And then right at the, I don't know if you've listened back to it. I listened to it. I listened back to it. Why? And at the, I don't know if you've listened back to it. I listened to it. And at the end Torbz comes in and we go, do you know who that and you can't hear him obviously. And we go, do you know who that is? And nothing happens. And we go, we're trying to figure out who she is. No, not her. No, not the horse. Her. Yeah, the girl with the hat. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:26 We don't know either. It's literally like a one side conversation. It's really, really funny. Isn't it? It sounds good. It's so funny. Guys, go and check out Monday's episode. We recorded it after the cricket and we had just eaten a lot of KFC and stood in the heat
Starting point is 00:22:42 for a day. So obviously top shelf gear. But it's actually hilarious. Why didn't we think of that? You know what I mean? It's so funny. Why didn't we think that he didn't have a microphone? Why didn't we think like, well, obviously no one's going to be happy. What do you say? We also didn't say Torbs has just walked in. All of a sudden it's as if you've fallen asleep and I'm just having a conversation by myself. He's like really really funny. It is so ridiculous. So Monday's Epp, 10 out of 10. Let's submit that into the fucking webbies or whatever.
Starting point is 00:23:18 Yeah. So if you're a YouTube watcher, maybe skip Monday and start on Tuesday. Maybe skip Monday and start on Tuesday. So the girl in that movie, the female lead, she, when that movie came out, similar to Heath Ledger, like they were going to be the next like big things. And she just sort of didn't do, and we were like, who is she? And then we didn't know. I would love to know though, because I haven't. Shannon Sossaman. Shannon Sossaman.
Starting point is 00:23:49 She doesn't even come up. S-O-S-S-A-M-O-N? Yeah. Has she, like, has she been in any, oh, 40 days and 40 nights, that movie where Josh Hartnett doesn't have sex. Yep, the rules of attraction. I'm pretty sure Josh Hartnett does have sex in that one.
Starting point is 00:24:06 Oh, she's here. Oh, a night's tale. Yeah. That's the movie we're talking about. All good. All good. All good. She's great though.
Starting point is 00:24:13 Oh, it says she's in the holiday. Is she Maggie? Who's in the? Fingy Sossaman is in the holiday. I just find it hard to believe that there's other actors in the holiday. She's Maggie in the holiday, the chick who cheats on Jack Black. What a bitch. She is that person. Yeah, I know. I just said.
Starting point is 00:24:41 That is unbelievable. Jack Black, I'm glad it works out well for him because he's a nice guy in that movie isn't he? He's a sweetheart. And also what an interesting character that he's like the composer and he's, yeah, just amazing. I think that he and Kate Winslet just have a really beautiful growth in that film.
Starting point is 00:25:03 Both of them grow independently and then come together instead of being like oh we like do you know I just love it it's great film it how often would you watch the holiday I watch it definitely every Christmas yeah and then probably two to three times outside of Christmas time of year I would say I actually saw the holiday at an advanced screening at the Hoyt Cinema at Carousell. So I saw it a week before it came out. Advanced screening.
Starting point is 00:25:30 Pretty big deal. And I remember thinking I was so cool because Mr. Brightside's in that film and I knew the song. Cause that was like a really new big song then. Mr. Brightside, Robbie Williams. The Killers? Yeah. Oh, that's. The killers. Yeah. Oh, that's going to make people mad.
Starting point is 00:25:50 That's not what I was thinking of Robbie Williams. That's going to make people really mad. I was just thinking of Robbie Williams because his movies come out and the Americans like don't know who he is. Yeah. And I was surprised by that. Yeah. That he's a big thing here. Big thing in the UK. Yeah. I was surprised by that. Yeah. That he's a big thing here. Big thing in the UK. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:07 On Tuesday, I dropped my, I was telling you how I dropped my laptop on my foot. Yes. And I did it not so eloquently. And then we had to decide that we don't know the difference between eloquent and elegant. Oh, we didn't. Elegant of high grade quality or splendid. Yep.
Starting point is 00:26:37 Elegant marked by a forceful, fluent expression, vividly or moving aggressively. I think that eloquent in my mind would be like, she spoke so eloquently, that was articulate and spoke well. But for me, that's what elegant is. Well, and a person can be elegant. Yeah. And you would often think, oh, if that person's very elegant, they probably are very articulate, et cetera.
Starting point is 00:27:02 Yeah. So I get where you've gotten confused, but you can't, like, oh sorry, yeah I know, no I'm really sorry, I'm not that mad about it. You wouldn't eloquently drop something. The Queen dressed in an elegant manner and gave an eloquent speech. Yes, absolutely. So you see where you've gone wrong, but I also see where you were coming from. You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, enough to push on, but still a bit confusing.
Starting point is 00:27:32 That's OK. Tony was talking about catalogs during the week. Shit. Is someone just driven into our... Into something? Into our... Sorry, there was a really big bang and now we can hear someone reversing. Is someone just driven into our, into our. Sorry. There was a really big bang and now we can hear someone reversing.
Starting point is 00:27:49 Oh good. Oh good. Oh good. Yeah. Um, Tony was talking about Callous. And you said it's a whirling dervish. Of good deals. Now what do you think that means? I actually don't know.
Starting point is 00:28:09 And I think that I heard it in a Will Ferrell movie. I think he says it in that movie, Kicking and Screaming, which is unreal, by the way, if you haven't seen that movie, it's very, very good. It's Kicking and Screaming. He's like a kid's soccer coach and his dad's neighbor is Mike Ditka from the Bears. He's won a super bowl. It's like a really good movie and he has his first ever coffee. It's very funny. Anyway, I think he says whirling dervish in that, but I don't know what it actually means.
Starting point is 00:28:44 Has someone Googled it? So I've Googled it and it said, do you mean surfy whirling, which is a type of like jujitsu dance or something by the surfy groups and practiced by the surfy dervishes of the Mel V. Deve order? Yeah. So it's like a worship dance. And then, but then- What I thought it was is like a, um, like a tornado. So then I, it said, did you mean like, you know, it's the suggested Google. It said is whirling dervish offensive was the first thing that came up,
Starting point is 00:29:13 but then listen to the answer. Uh, it is neutral, perhaps slightly positive connotation, uh, like a whirlwind of activity. Oh, that's, I think how it said in that movie. Yeah. I meant it like a tornado, like you're whipping everything up into a frenzy. And that's what it was because it was a frenzy of deals. That's quite good, but maybe don't add it to the.
Starting point is 00:29:39 Yeah, no, it's not offensive. No, no. No. Um, what did we have from yesterday? So from the list, cause there was a few, I feel like we got into a bit of a fucking hole in a few things. No, no, no. And what did we have from yesterday, so from the list? Because there was a few, I feel like we got into a bit of a fucking hole. A few things. This is an important one for your future. OK, is there dairy in whipped cream?
Starting point is 00:29:54 Yes. I'll Google that one. OK, so can you explain why I need to know that first? Maybe yesterday's episode, we put the let's put the picture on the screen. So yesterday, sorry, earlier this week, Ryan had dental surgery. Stop picking your fucking teeth. Ryan had dental surgery and I said, yeah, well you probably wouldn't have like dairy,
Starting point is 00:30:14 you can't drink hot stuff, how annoying. And then he went and ordered, we'll put on the screen this drink, which was he got subbed in with almond milk so he didn't hurt your tummy, but whipped cream was okay. And then I was like, would you get the whipped cream if you weren't having dairy? Like, do you just go the whole hog?
Starting point is 00:30:32 Do you go, yeah, give me the cow milk, give me the cream. And I will say that Google has just come back. Google Gemini, what a fantastic tool. Yes, whipped cream contains dairy because it is traditionally made by whipped heavy cream, which is a dairy product derived from cow's milk. It's not considered vegan or dairy free. Could you get a dairy free whipped cream?
Starting point is 00:30:53 Yes you can and Starbucks has a plant based whipped cream. Which is where you were. Why didn't they offer that when I ordered the almonds? Did you just chime in? Because you normally have to ask for it. It's a pain. It's a pain for them because they have to like hit it a few times to like get it. Oh, well hit it a few times dog.
Starting point is 00:31:12 Yeah. Hey, I want to shoot myself. Sometimes you got to hit it. Who do you work for Charles? You working at Starbucks? Hey, I know I've been to a lot of the Starbucks in the city before and they all have it, But here's. Would you shit yourself Charles?
Starting point is 00:31:27 Is a whipped cream without dairy like what you want though? Like what is it? Okay. What is it? I'm actually looking at a recipe right now. Also, this isn't the first time this week I've used the term. You have to hit it a few times to get it going. Redact that.
Starting point is 00:31:41 Redact it. There is, you know how I make that mousse? Yeah. And that's like coconut cream. Oh yeah. Yeah. You could whip that up and use that as cream, but this one, coconut oil, melted coconut oil and warm soy milk and blend it.
Starting point is 00:32:04 I did care about that one. TBH. Um, sorry, I was feeling too ill for you to use too many acronyms in such a short amount of time proper. Is there anything else we need to Google? Cause I'm over this. I'm over everything really. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:18 I don't know if the next one is going to make you feel any last one. So I think what's the last one. Well, it was before your important business meeting and the text message Tony sent about the constipation. Yeah. And then being post-dinner, there was some ablutions. What's an ablution? I can Google this one as well.
Starting point is 00:32:37 Okay. How did you use it in the sentence? I said my nighttime ablutions have like, I have a routine, Putin. Okay. Ablution. Okay. The AI overview. Thanks Google Gemini, once again. Ablution is the act of washing oneself, often as part of a religious ritual.
Starting point is 00:32:56 Wasn't religious. I've done a lot of religious stuff this week apparently. Are you okay, mate? Is everything all right? Sometimes you just need to find like a support and that's where you can find it. So that's all good. But are you okay though? a support and that's where you can find it. So that's all good. But you're OK, though.
Starting point is 00:33:07 So it's saying that it's like ceremonial. The reason that I know what ablution is is because and this doesn't sound good. The reason I know what an ablution is, is because at a caravan park, it's called the ablution block. When like the toilet blocks the Ablution Block? Yeah! And was it like a church based caravan park? No, it wasn't. But you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:33:34 His holy caravan park? The Ablution Block? No, but that's what it's called like at a campground or whatever it's called. Like the Ablution Block. So I just assume that like shitting and shower and shaving shampoo. And that's all your ablutions. That was cool. Did you finish inside or did you ablution all over her?
Starting point is 00:33:51 Oh, redact that again. Um, even Charles went, eww. Um, I think the fact that. And you know what happened. There's nowhere we can go from me. The answer is none of them. Cause I have a blue shin balls. Um, I think anytime, I think anytime that you have, here we go.
Starting point is 00:34:23 Or when you wash yourself, it is a religious experience. Cause I am God. Yes. Breaking news. So I knew that because I'm going to Google ablution block. Ablution block for sale. What? At Coats Hire, you can hire an ablution Block, which is an all-in-one portable toilet and
Starting point is 00:34:46 shower block complete with a cubicle and a shower and privacy curtains and stuff. Which I guess if you were renovating a house or putting that maybe on a film set or a work site or something. I think there's an Ablution Block across the road because they're renovating and all the workers need to Ablution somewhere. So Ablution may be kind of correct. Yeah. Good on you, man.
Starting point is 00:35:07 You're killing it. Thank you, mate. I appreciate that. I've got to love to see it. Yeah. If you have a PhD. Yeah, you do. Oh.
Starting point is 00:35:17 In Tony. Look at the slayer on that. Sorry. Sorry, I say that at home to my boyfriend. In Tony and Ryan land, a PhD is a... Pretty huge, dude. It turns out in academia, it's like a doctorate. Academia?
Starting point is 00:35:31 Like it's a degree. To what degree are you referring? I'm about to text you... This is a TV show, an animation. And it turns out there's another meaning for PhD. Oh my god I love Phineas and Ferb. One... what the? A perfect 40 degree angle? I can't believe it! A perfect hair day! I finally got my PhD! Oh that's wonderful honey not a single day goes by when I don't appreciate my
Starting point is 00:36:01 PhD. That's great dad but I'm not talking about a degree. Neither am I. Can I blow your mind for a second as well? Sorry, just talking about PhDs. You know how you love Ashley Tisdale? That's her voicing Phineas and Febs's sister, Candice. I do love Ashley Tinsdale. I know. Holy shit.
Starting point is 00:36:32 What a full circle moment. Full circle jerk. No, sorry. Don't say that, especially if Ashley Tinsdale watched this cause I assumed she'd have a Google alert on herself. Do you reckon that Ashley Tinsdale and Taylor Swift, maybe you're watching this together? No.
Starting point is 00:36:46 Oh, I've pretty loved to see it here. I don't know if it's as good as a PhD, is anything. Um, I really love to see it here that Chelsea sent us in Patreon. Thanks Chelsea. My partner and I broke up. Oh. I can already hear the sarcastic, well how's any of you love to see it, but I'm getting there. Is what the message says. That wouldn't mean sarcastic, it would be a genuine. Genuinely like, is that really, you love to see it, but I'm getting there. It's what the message says. That wouldn't mean sarcastic.
Starting point is 00:37:05 It would be a genuine. Genuinely like, is that really you love to see it? But Chelsea comes back around. Chelsea says, I've struggled with depression and anxiety for years. And the breakups just like really made things worse, which it does because you just kind of feel so shit and you're like thrown for a loop. Chelsea says, I started, decided to start going to the gym to help with my mental health. It was like, if I've got like a routine,
Starting point is 00:37:30 I know that I wake up and I have some breakfast and I go to the gym before work. And even like the endorphins and chemicals and all that shit. Like, yeah, absolutely. It's the last thing you feel like doing, but it's apparently good for your exercise. Who would have guessed it? Well, Chelsea says the gym has really helped clear my mind and helped me move on. And today, here's the you'll love to see it, I beat all of my PBs at the gym,
Starting point is 00:37:51 meaning I can lift more weight than I've ever been able to. And I'm really fucking pumped about it. Isn't that awesome? I just love to see that. So for those of you just listening, I was just flexing because I'm also jacked. Ryan, do you know what the kids are saying these days? Mm hmm.
Starting point is 00:38:08 Yoked. Fuck. You're yoked. I think I'm done with fucking... Are we allowed to Google because it's Friday? I'm just going to make sure that's true. Yoked meaning? Yoked is a great website if you want to find an off the grid cabin.
Starting point is 00:38:21 That's unyoked. Yoked is a slang term that describes someone with well-developed muscles, especially in the shoulders and arms. You can also refer to having a specific type of yoke, such as the double yoked egg. How good do you feel though, when you get a double yoker? Have you ever cracked an egg
Starting point is 00:38:40 and it's a double yoke in there and you're like- I got a carton of double yokes once and it sent me fucking through the root. It was just like the whole whole lot. A dozen doubles. Yoaked, yoaked. What? Yeah, something in the water that day. Probably chemicals, probably bad, but don't think about it.
Starting point is 00:38:59 Double yolk is 24 yolks in a 12 pack carton. Yoaked, yoaked. Double Yolkers, 24 yolks in a 12 pack carton. Yolk, yolk. Yeah. A carton of double Yolkers. Yep. If you are ever single, that has to be on your Tinder bio. That is amazing news. But it was the eggs, not me.
Starting point is 00:39:20 No, but that's just like, what a lucky boy. That feels like a once in a lifetime experience. What's that got to do with me breaking up with my wife? No, but I's just like, what a lucky boy. That feels like a once in a lifetime experience. What's that got to do with me breaking up with my wife? No, but I just, who? Did you say my wife? Because it doesn't really, but it's just like, you should always open with that. That is amazing information.
Starting point is 00:39:37 But why did you go to Tinder though? Because it's like, well, you're putting your best foot forward. I'm like, oh, you should tell people that. Should I do that as well? Yeah. Okay. I can't, no one seems that stressed about the carton of double yokas. That is unreal.
Starting point is 00:39:53 The whole carton or are you doing hyperbole? No, it was a whole carton, yeah. Like just must've been that batch or fucking whatever. That round, that chicken, just fucking popping them dog. I think it makes me feel a bit nauseous. Because it's double period. Yeah. Or like that's what it is. Oh, I'm not going to ask if I.
Starting point is 00:40:13 Yeah, it feels it feels like science fiction. I think that's why I'm maybe hesitating. Yeah, a whole carton of double go, because that is I hope you bought a lot of it. That's insane to me. That's fucking, that's got to be real. Like that's luck. That's crazy. Tony's impressed by that.
Starting point is 00:40:31 I'm impressed by Ashley Tinsdale. Yeah, you're welcome. We've both had a pretty positive end to the week. Great day. Yeah. Well, happy Friday. You're looking yoked, big dog. Actually, it hurts when you do that too much.
Starting point is 00:40:46 I think. Is that not what a yoke person would say? You pulled a muscle on your muscles. I've pulled a bicep flexing camera. You yoked, you yoked. Yeah, I gotta go sit down. What a yoke. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:40:56 Love you. Have a great weekend. Have a great weekend. Love you. Bye. Bye. Bye!

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