Toni and Ryan - The Worst Small Talk Ever

Episode Date: August 23, 2026

Chicken salt throwback - Small Talk - At the chemist - love ya!!!!!Tell us what you reckon in the episode thread in our FACEBOOK GROUPWatch and subscribe on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan and get in the group chat with us!!!Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The tradies were putting new carpet in the building. They were all singing. I was trying to be cool and I was like, oh, we should all start a band. I have all sorts of instruments in my apartment. The looks on their faces, I think they thought I was trying to invite them in for an orgy. Hi, this is Brooke from Melbourne, Australia. Hi, I'm Dean from Auckland, New Zealand. Hi, I'm Evie from London, England.

And I approve his podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. author Tony Lodge. And this is Dr. Ryan Jonathan Dunn. I'm not a doctor. Recently prescribed doctor by me.

As a doctor, I actually am given. Yep, shut up. I'm given actually the honor of giving, what's that thing called when famous people honorary doctorate? I hate that. Nothing. I hate more. Oh, a few things.

Top three things I hate honorary doctorates. I hate it for other people, but if they offered it to me, I'd be like, I'd love it. Yeah. It's a blight on the system. So then if you're an honorary doctor, are you then allowed to call yourself like doctor? I guess so.

Because you've got it. Like, they've given it to you. Like, they just hand them out. They do. And there's other people doing all this hard work. You're right. And then some fucking sled walks in and they go, oh, they have one too. Yeah, nah.

Not a vibe. You know? Yeah, nah. You got to respect the people doing the grind. The hustle. And like, you know the other day when we were talking about, like, defending your doctorate, like your thesis or whatever? Yeah. Then that sound hard.

That sounds so. so stressful. And then some... If I go like, should we get sushi and you go, oh, what would you get? I'm like, I'll crumble. I'm like, get whatever you want. We'll get Nando's again.

I don't mind. Yeah, that's fine. I won't eat ever again. I can't defend an opinion, let alone like an actual thought. A scientific study. Yeah. What about this?

Take it. Don't worry about it. Give it to Taylor Swift. Yeah. Give it Taylor Swift the fucking honorary one. Give her mine. I already rented the gown, chicken other.

You know that comedian that did a bit one time? Fucking give him a piece of paper. Yeah. Fuck them. Okay. Sorry. Speaking of scientific studies, last week on the show, we talked about chicken salt. Yeah, and we'd like to formally apologize.

And people all around the world have said collectively, what the fuck is chicken salt? And it turned... We didn't plan that. And that was awesome. It turns out three years ago, we asked ourselves the exact same thing. Why do Australians put chicken salt on everything? Because it's delicious. Easy question, easy answer.

What is chicken salt? I know that that sounds like a dumb question But like, because it's not salt Is it flavoured salt? And I'm guessing it's not chickens. No. See, when you say it sounds like a dumb question, it does, but then I don't know the answer.

I actually don't know like what it's made on. Is it just MSG? Maybe it's like, do we want to know the answer? Yeah, yeah. If you know the answer and it's a good answer, tell me, if you know the answer, it's a bad answer, just leave an emoji. Yeah, we don't want to know how the sausage is made.

Yes. So that was. Army. Yeah. Great show. Yeah. That was three years ago and I can confirm that we still three years ago. This might take a while, everyone.

So when was it? This is your eighth year of doing the podcast. Oh, because three and five. No. No. Yeah. So when was that tone? Three years ago.

It was three years ago. So we were two. Maths. I get a doctor of maths. PhD in math. So we still don't really know what it is, but basically chicken salt. This is what's going to throw the people. Chicken salt is what you put on chips at a fish and chip shop.

Slay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't ask me why. It's also what you put on stuff if it's in the air fryer and then you shake it in the air friar and it all gets chicken salty. Really? Are you not doing that at your place? I'm not doing that in my place.

You've got to. I should be. You've got to. What are you putting it on? Like if you do air fry chip, I like do the chicken salt but then like because when you shake in the air fryer you know how it like is steamy in there

the salt sticks to everything while it's cooking yeah and it like it just sticks hell well if you do it while it's in the air friar something's happened at her house recently where Bridget has gone hey with the air friar can you shake it and then I go yeah

you shook the whole thing no I danced in front of her and I was like pretty Funny heart, and she's like, if those chips fucking burn. Yeah. I mean, there's food at stake. Like, let's not be crazy. No, it's chips.

Food? Not steak. Not your best. Do you not know that you have to do that? Yeah, but when someone says, can you give it a shake, I'm not not shaking my butt. It's like, no, and you know what? That's on her. Thank you.

1,000%. Yeah. So, in summation, who the fuck knows? Yeah, so we still don't know what it is. But it's very Australian. And as the... When you get chicken-flavored chips, is it the same flavor of chicken? No.

Oh, well, fuck. But it is an A. Because that's green. That tastes like green. But so does chicken salt. No, chicken salt doesn't taste like green. Tastes like green. True.

Don't you reckon? But Twisties chicken green flavor is yellow. Yeah, but tastes like green. So true. I actually reckon a chicken twisty is closer in flavor though now that I'm tasting it in my mind. Yeah. Let's try it. Let's get some chicken twisties and put them.

in a air fryer with hot chips, shake it, not the dance, and see what happens. You know what we could do? We could put some green chicken twisties into the thermomix, blend them up, and like make a dust and make chicken twisty salt. I've never been happier to be part of the thermomix family. Thermi.

Last week, or fucking who knows, Tony was saying that she was new to small talk and sucked at it. Well, hang on. No, that's not quite the... I'm trying... Yeah, I'm getting better and trying to put myself out there more. You're trying to put yourself out there more. And that involves small talk with strangers. But Tarpers have said, hey, hey, we're all as one here.

Let us share our stories when we fucked up our small talk. Amazing. So we can all laugh at ourselves together and not, you know, have you out there. Also, people defended you and said when you're like, oh, I didn't really get to chat much at a dance class. everyone was like slut, you went to a dance class by yourself. Already 10 out of 10. Oh, I thought you were about to be like, you went to a dance class by yourself and I was like,

oh my God, is that embarrassing? So you're doing it again? No, I know. I know. I'm an asshole. Adereen. A-D-R-I-E-N-N-E. Adrian.

Yep. Adereen. What? You're not going to get that honorary doctorate. That's for sure. I fell over in a waiting room at a doctor's office. I popped back up and this whole family was looking at me. I don't know why I said it, but I just blurted out,

don't tell your friends. And they were like, okay. Why? If someone fell over, you wouldn't look at them, you would offer to help. No, if Adeline fell over in front of me, she'd fall over. And before she said, don't tell your friends, I'd be like, hey, Tone. Guess what? You're already filming.

You'll live on Instagram. You'll never guess what Adeline's just done. She's fallen over at the doctor's office. I didn't hear that, but I heard Adrian fell over and it was a hoot. And she goes, don't tell your friends. I'm like, I already have. Oh, sorry. Um, I think that you've got to offer a hand, though.

But yeah. Oh, you're right. Oh, yeah. Sorry. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. You're okay, you know. Don't tell your friends.

Don't tell your friends. He's hilarious, though. Dan, at Tape Dan. Hi, Dan. He worked at a Burger King. And there was this very handsome regular that Dan had a crush on. Oh, very hand. And when he would come in, he'd be like, oh, I just imagine that.

You know, like. Yeah. Imagine that. Well, he's just such a cutie. And like, yeah, there was, when I worked at Coles, there was, um, we used to call them the power couple. Oh. And they were just hot as hell.

Yeah. He was super tattooed, had a perfect beard. She was just gorgeous. Yeah. And my best friend Alex, who I worked in the deli with, we would be like, power couple. Like, and they would come in and we would come over and they would come over and be like, oh, can we get the, and we'd be like. Uh, one night, says Dan, I was working the,

drive-through and I had to give my crush $7 change. Oh, what a sexy amount. And instead of saying $7, he went seven inches. And the guy went what? And Dan goes, what? Who said that? And just gave me his money. I was like, sorry. I mean, he's using cash. He's probably a drug dealer. Who uses cash? Dan's crush. Sounds dodgy to me, money laundering probably. That's what I heard. No one's going to understand that joke, but Tony made some wild accusations about people. I did not make an accusation. Tony claimed people were money laundering off air the other day, and you didn't hear it because it got edited out for legal purposes.

It wasn't even in the podcast. We were just sitting at our desks, I think. Even worse. She's like, you know who I reckon's laundering money. That's definitely not what happened. And just lit up a bunch of people. Not, okay, mate. Next is Mar and Art.

What was that, Charles? That anonymous tip line, then you called us. Yeah. Yeah, then I called, like, if you see something, say something. Law. There is anonymous. All right. Yeah. The next one is from Marinarah.

M-A-R-I-N-A-R-N-A. That does sound like Maranara. Maranara Grace. Delicious. Oh, the horse photo is back. The horse photo was there the whole time. Yep. Like, just in general.

Are you all right, mate? You're pants on two titles. Yeah, something's going on. Maranara. Maranara. Oh, Charles is back. Oh, he was there the whole time, but just in general. Oh, don't worry.

You've still got a copy there. Things aren't me. Have a sip. Do we need the physical loss photo with something going wrong? I think there's too much horse today. Hey, you take that. You don't mean that.

There's never too much horse photo. I'm in a bad mood because my daughter accused me of fighting in her bedroom last time. Yeah, talk about it. I went into her room to hold her hand and like rub her tummy while she was like falling back asleep. Which is so sweet. Like as a little kid, that's all you want a day for your like mom and dad to like give you a little rub on the tummy while you're feeling sick. Yeah. And I'm like, I'll wait until you fall asleep.

Then the dog comes in. He sits on my lap. He falls asleep. Then Mabel falls asleep. I'm stuck there. And I stay there like a fucking hero. Yeah. And then the next morning.

Self-sacrifice. That's beautiful. Go, hey, Mom, dad came into my room and farted. And then she laughed. And then she said, I'm a bum bum. And I'm like, what the fuck? She called you a bum bum bum? I'm fucking copping her home, dude.

That's actually, that's fucked. Are you all right? No. A bum bum. That's why I'm off today. That's like, I, like, that's the equivalent of an adult calling you a a . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . from a little kid, a bum bum, that's severe.

I did tell you the other day that she was vicious. Yeah. She gets you. Yeah, she does. And I'm like, I'm raising the snitch, you know. Yeah, you are. Maranara. Hi, Maranara.

The Trades were putting new carpet in the building where she works. They were all singing. That's so nice. Yeah, and I was trying to be cool and I was like, oh, we should all start a band. I have all sorts of instruments in my apartment. I was trying to be funny, but the looks on their faces, I think they thought I was trying to invite them in for an orgy.

Yeah. See, the problem as someone early on their small talk journey is that I, for a second, didn't actually hear what was wrong with what Marinar said. I'm like, oh, where's the bad bit? If someone said, let's start a band, I'd go, I'm in. I can play heaps of shit. Yeah. But.

There's heaps of instruments in my apartment. Yeah. Saying instruments in a clinical way is so funny because immediately you think of like scientific instruments. I'm like, what are you got a scalpel in there? You want to cut me open and fill a beaker with my blood? Like, what are you talking about? I was more thinking like weird sex toys. I've got plenty of injuries.

Same. Like I got some instruments in my bedroom. I thought like, clean the instruments, doctor. Do you know what I mean? Like, like, I'm not a doctor's I wouldn't know. And you will never. ever know what we go through in the operating room. Finally, Emma Brady.

Hi, Emma. Who is in a lush and isn't that nice? Yeah. Go on. No, I fucking went to a lush the other day, right? And I'm trying to check out. And they go, are you a lush member? And I went, no.

And they went, well, if you sign up, you get fucking $20 off. And I went, oh, okay. And she goes, honestly, like, it's real chill. We can just do it. She goes, do you have the lush app? And I was like, oh, no. She goes, download the lush app. And I was like, okay.

I downloaded. You said it was real chill and now I'm fucking downloading apps. I downloaded the app. And then she goes, cool, so now you've just got to fill out the questionnaire and sign up. And I go,

okay. Is the questionnaire, what's your name and send? No. There's a few areas to fill out. What kind of questions I ask? Well, it's just like normal question.

But it's just like. If you felt like a comedy film, what would you prefer? He's the question they might ask. I thought you were asking. I was like, are we still? Did I?

Stop operating at full potential. What were they asking in the question? Well, it was just normal sign up questions, but it's like phone number, date of birth, email, address. Like, do you know what I? It's like the full Monty. Yeah. Anyway. And so I do that and she goes, yeah, and just opened up.

And I go, yeah. And she goes, now sign in with the information that you just used to sign up with. And I'm like, well, I've already forgotten the fucking password that I put. Like, I don't fucking remember. If I put a password in, consider me signed up. see you. I've done it. And then she's like, yep, so just signing there.

And I was like, great. I sign in. She goes, yep, and then scroll right to the bottom. And that's where your membership card is. I was like, oh, perfect. I've been standing there for 25 minutes. Yeah. And then she goes, yep, and just add that to your Apple wallet.

And I'm like, okay, so add that to my Apple wallet. And she's like, okay. And it says here that you've got a voucher. She was so helpful, but I was like, this needs to be simpler. Yeah. Give me a QR code and let me scan it. Like it's fine. And then she goes, oh, it says here you've got a voucher.

Go back into the app. And then add the voucher back to your Apple Pay. And like it was, just let me buy my Kalamazoo and get out of here. Do you know what I mean? So true. Yeah. That would probably be way more funny if I knew what a Kalamazoo was. It sounds like a character from Madagascar.

That's really hilarious. Kalamazoo is the, it's like their top selling thing, but it's like a face and beard wash towards uses it. And now that he's got a shaped head, he's not really sure where his face ends and his head begins. So he watches the whole thing. Oh, he's got here, yeah. He's calamazooing his bald head.

Yeah. I don't know about that. There's the Kalamazoo. Oh, isn't he handsome? Hello. Yeah, hello. Maybe I do like Lush. Yeah.

So, Taubes is doing the full Kalamazoo. Yeah, I'll get a full Kalamazoo. Fry's on the side. Hold the pickles. Now, I think the reason why... Do you come with the car? Do you know what I mean? I think, no, go back, Charles.

Go back. I think the reason why that picture on the right is from the chest up is because he's definitely getting sucked off. Well, yeah, the bliss in the face isn't just from the Kalamazoo, you know what I'm saying? I'm sure the Kalamazoo is great, but it's not that great. How many times do you think we've now said Kalamazoo? I can't wait for Tap says what to upload after this. I can't wait for Tap says what to guess how to spell that.

How to spell Kalamazoo. So I just wanted to get my Kalamazoo and my happy hippie and get the fuck out of there, do you know what I mean? And Lush is beautiful and the people are always so helpful. And the one at Northland, there's a few tarpers that work there. But I just thought you've got to figure out your loyalty program. Like that is too intense. I'll let them know.

Yeah. What was that though from? It doesn't matter. Okay. No, I will read it. Emma Brady. Hi, Emma. I was in Lash.

Congratulations. Selling bath bombs. Oh. And another lady shopping goes, they smell great, don't they? And they do. Yeah. And so the other lady's doing a little small talk and Emma's like, oh, we're going to. And you got, I'm on here.

Yeah, there's like a couple of us like, you know, just ladies at Lash, like hanging out, talking about it. she wanted to say like oh they smell so nice it's like you could almost eat them like they you know like they can't yeah that's what she wanted to say and the energy she wanted to give

a bit cheeky a bit fun yeah and Emma and she said like for some reason she just got like a you know sometimes you get like something in your throat and you sound like a bit of a gremlin so the lady goes they smell great don't they and Emma goes don't you just want to put it in your mouth the lady stared at me put the I'm back down and just walk straight out of the store

without signing up to the loyalty program. You just want to put it in your mouth. That's how we met. Yeah. Hi, I'm Dean from Auckland, New Zealand. Hi, I'm Evie from London, England. Hi, this is Brooke from Melbourne, Australia. Are you listening to?

I'm right. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tappers over at our Patreon. We absolutely love to see it. We're going live. we're doing all sorts. I went live last week. So fun. A few of our champion tarpers. Alina, good on you, Alina.

Richard Massey. Thank you so much, Richard. Richo. Nicole Bain. Thanks, Nicole. Abby leads. Abby leads us into temptation and deliver us from evil. Jessica Cordero Wilson.

Thanks, Charles, private school gurus. Holly Cohn, good on your Holly. Gabby, Gwen Edwards. I love that I'm Gwen. And Annie. Thank you so much, Annie. You've named two separate items that a dog could wear. Leeds and a cone

Yep Yep Slay Pet barn Dot com Nicole barn Pet barn Pet barn

com I went to pet barn other day Great place If you want to wash your dog Pet Barn Eltham The staff are lovely

Oh Yeah And they give you A little token And you take them into The little room They get a little dryer And the thing

And like Do you ever take BJ Like to the groomer Or you just Wash him yourself Well That's his grooming Is me taking him

To pet barn But you don't Take him to A groomer You just do it I am the groomer Yes, like. What?

Oh, well, of that, for that, yeah. Charles, don't ever. Now, fucking retail's coughing it today. You've put the iPad down. Yeah, because we've been talking about lush. I think the last three times I've mentioned the chemist that hasn't been good. First of all, with the colonoscopy, we had to open the box to find out how much stuff was in it, and it was just a fucking shamozel.

And the person working there enthusiastically said, Let's find out together. Yeah. And Bid Zep, but if I open the box, you have to promise to buy it. Yeah. Because I can't let it happen again. When I was sick, I went in there with no voice with snot on my mustache because I was just like a fucking mess. And I bought 15 cold and flu things.

And he goes, ha, having a good weekend? Much on? That he's about as good as small talk as the rest of them. You think you've seen it all in a fucking chemist? Except for it being open after seven. All good. I was at a chemist on Saturday. And I am...

You know when something happens until like three hours later, you just go, what the fuck has happened there? Yeah. Like, Bridget and I went out for dinner. Okay. At one o'clock we're at the chemist.

We're out for dinner at six and we were both like, can you believe... So Bridget was with you. Yeah, yeah. Okay. And we're both still in shock. We're like, can you believe that happened at the chemist? Mm.

So we go to buy something. What were you buying? I think that will help the story. Condoms. Tony's saying that because she knows that I had a date night and a backwax. And I mean, and Mabel stayed at my mum. So, you know. It could only mean one thing.

Yeah. Was it condoms? No. No. We're exclusively anal, so not required. No. No, I think it was. Uh, feminine hygiene products.

Slight. Yeah. So we get to the counter. Yep. What's the most embarrassing thing that can happen in a store? Your card gets declined. Thank you. Yeah.

And we're in there, got some medication, got some the female hygiene products, you know, like personal stuff where I think still you kind of like, it's like toilet paper, you just kind of like. Not totally. You know, like taking leave and not. Nah. And you just kind of like. like they see it all.

Yeah. But even when, when I was buying my colonoscopy prep stuff, yeah, I'm like, I'm like, oh yeah, I'm gonna be shitting soon.

Yeah. Or like I'm buying tampons. And I'm like, yeah, I'm bleeding out of my puss right now. Yeah. Can we just get a price check? This guy has got,

um, depression medication and tampons. Tampons and anti-diaria. And I go, yeah, what a fucking life I lead. Yeah. Oh,

it's very fun. Look at him go. Oh, about. No, so the card declines and I'm just like, fuck, okay. She goes, would you like to try it again? Yeah. And you just try like a different card?

No, same one again. Well, that rookie mistake. Then a different card. Then Bridget's card. And I was just like, this is so fucking embarrassing. What were you doing? Yeah, I don't know. What are you talking about?

So then the lady behind us, she goes, oh, has your your cards just decline. And I go, yeah, I'm like, so embarrassing, right? And she goes, well, I was just at the supermarket next door. And heaps of people's cards were declining. I think the whole system in the area. Oh. Like, Combank's down for an hour.

Or like some like overarching. Sure. Yeah, the shop next door is having issues. Maybe it's just, you know, maybe it's not the car. It's like the system. Yeah. And the person at the chemist goes, huh. Yeah.

Yeah. And I go, what do you mean? And she goes, the last seven people in a row have their cards declined. Surely at some point. So after, yeah, probably the second one. You'd go, oh, it's not working. Should I restart the machine? Or just fucking something.

Yeah. So I, and she goes, oh, do you want to try that card again? I'm like, yeah. She goes, did you want to try a different card? Yeah. And at no moment, did she think the last seven people in. row. Yeah.

Have, and then I looked at the counter and guess what I could see. Just stuff because people have gone, well, I guess I'll just leave it. I'll just leave this here. What am I going to do? Take all the stuff back and put on all the. Oh, yeah. And they probably just go.

Yeah, leave it there. We'll get someone to put it away. But then I'll let the counter was full of like the, the, the, the, the, the. And then the lady goes, yeah, I think the whole fucking things out. Well, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And we're like, oh. Do you reckon that? And she goes, oh, probably is, eh? Well, yeah. Well, yeah. Yeah. So it turns out that everything was down. Like the internet was down or something.

No, it was actually a couple of the banks or one of the service. Actually, it might have been MasterCard itself. It was MasterCard. Oh. Yeah, because that's, even though if you're like different banks, it's the MasterCard. Yeah. So the only card that I had that wasn't a MasterCard. Was your work, amen.

Yeah. So, um, yeah. So it looks like I've on date night used the work card to buy a box of condoms. And I would just like to say on behalf of my wife and I, thank you, Tony, for paying for 50%. Thank you for watching this and paying for Ryan's condoms. Yeah. Which 50% was your end? Do you reckon? Um, the inside. I was thinking like the tip on the base. Yeah, no. And I said the inside. You heard me. The bit that touched Ryan. You fucking heard me.

Slay. Yeah. And don't you just... Five hours later, we were like... Like... As if they didn't talk about that. Oh, you know what? Seven...

It's not working. And the fact that it took another punter. We could probably... That we kept saying that. If it wasn't for that chick, we'd probably still be there. But you would also just be like, oh, fuck, what's wrong with our cars? Yeah. And then you're on the app trying to figure...

You know, then you're like, do we have to call the bank? Yeah, you're on the app and the girl goes, is that the lush one? And you go, no. Add it to your Apple card pie and you fucking whatever. Oh my God. I still, I still can't believe it. No, that is the ick big time. Yeah.

I think I'm off pharmacies. And you've got to be. You've got to be because. They don't open late enough. They're not open. The service is too friendly and not helpful. I just can't believe. No, that's not true.

Chemists are great to me. But I just think it is. I'm so loyal and I'm so upset. I don't know what to think anymore. Yeah. It's like going through a breakup. You're like, I love you, but I'm just not in love with you. That's it.

Do you know what I? That's the love affair with the chemist warehouse, I think, is that. I do find it very hard to believe, though, that the person behind the counter didn't start to make some kind of connection. She's like, God, people are doing it tough, eh? Like, is that what you start thinking about, like, the cultural landscape of people in there, like, the economic landscape. She's like, well, on sunrise the other day, they did say that.

Petro prices are up. They're giving away $15,000 at cost. Interest rates are up and like seven people in a rose card decline to work. Like imagine then if she goes away and goes, well, the data that I've found is that people don't have enough money for condoms. Well, she's calling two j-b... Birth rates are going to be up because people can't afford condoms, that's for sure. And she's calling talk back radio going, oh, it's all my work in the streets and I tell you. People can't even afford medicine.

They can't even afford condoms anymore. The birth rates are going to. be up the schools are going to be overflowing yeah yeah crime's up crime oh crimes up crime is up that's crazy we're the only thing that i wanted to be up was me yeah buying those condoms you just try and fuck your wife and look what happens it's not worth it it's such a fucking hassle at the moment yeah or is yeah fuck okay now go on no no no no no It's all right. Slay, though.

I made Bridget hug me with a freshly waxed back. Yes, I heard. This is why I was like, you obviously needed condos. Yeah. And I was like, do you want to hug me? And she was like, no. And I was like, I love that. No.

No. And so she's sitting on the couch and I was like, I'll take my shirt. I'll have a look at my back. She's like, I know you. And she's like, I don't. Does she know that the waxed back, not only does it benefit you? Like, you love it. And, but she's not the only lady your show on that.

Like, you'll get. to you the other day. Anyone who you can get to touch it is, is up for grabs. Yeah. Oh. That was excellent physical comedy. But this leg has gone busted backwards all the way.

You've done an A. Oh, did you bet that from the game as well? You go, yeah, I couldn't use my cars or just use cash out the front. No, I don't explain to the people who at home what's happened. No, I don't think I do. They'll know. He's had a backwax.

What do you think happened? He slipped off like of the slutty. Dolphine is. Ryan, you are such a slut with a backwax. Thank you. The thing, you know, when you've just like had your hair done, just had your back, like, whatever it is and you just like feeling yourself, whenever you've had a butt, you're always like, there's this, there's this, a pepping your step when you've had a backie.

The problem was, though, that when I went to get a backie, I still had those like shave marks in my chest from the. Oh, she's like, do you want me to touch those up as well? It's like, no, I don't think I'd send it to grow back. Yeah. Yeah. It looks pretty funny that way. And I went, yeah.

Are you going to the same place every time for you, or just wherever you can, same with like your barber, you don't, you're not diagnostic, nope, you're not agnostic, no.

Loyal? Sure. I've got to, please. It's actually a recommendation, and it's a bit of a two-parter. Recently, in the last like two weeks,

there's a new Travis Barker documentary that's just come out on like Hulu and Disney Plus. It's called louder than Fier. it's all about like his life. So from like being like a little tucker and then all the way to like to now. It is, it's so sad, trigger warning. It's very sad.

It's hard to watch. Yeah. But it is so fucking good. You love him. I love him so much. And then the second part of that is that because of watching that, I had to go and buy some vans. Because I've gone back in time.

I'm not too much. I don't even realize you're still wearing those vans. Yeah. Still, no, these are new. These are freshies. And they do. platform too. They do them in a platform. It's as if they were made for me. Um, so I'm now wearing old school platform vans because I watched the Blinkwax, the Travis Barker Blinkgo Blink 192 documentary. So is that the one that covers like when he was in that hell bad plane crash?

Yeah. Yeah. So he didn't fly for ages, eh? No. Not until like 2021, I think. And the plane crash was in like 2006. Yeah. So he tours just like on the road and like, yeah, they drove. And then to get to Europe, he caught the Q-O 2. Like the... You flew an insurance company. That's QE2. Oh, sorry.

The Queen Elizabeth the second, the ship, the crew ship. Literally shipped it over. Yeah. So it's nine days on the ship across the strait. So it's like the same path that like the Titanic tried to do. Obviously unsuccessfully. I hope it went better than that. Spoilers.

Sorry. Oh, I know you're in a plane crash and scared of those, but have I got the mode of transport for you? And they said like that was... Don't watch the Titanic before you leave, though. Yeah, yeah. All boats are good, eh? Like, all good. Yeah, they kind of talk about that in the film,

that how, like, that was his only option, but, like, how hard that also was because it's... But even you get to the UK and then you... Oh, Frank, I was going to say, then you had to get to the Europe. But of course, you catch the Eurostar under the fish. Yeah. But the doco is great.

Okay. Especially if you're a fan. But even if you're not, like, just the way that he has practiced through his life to be such an excellent musician. And all the fucking shit he's been through. He's had a hard fucking life. Yeah.

Had a sad, hard, depressing time. Yep. But then also you can go and buy some vans after and relive your fantasy of being like a skateboarder at like 14. How good was being a skateboarder at 14? Oh my God. So much fun. Did you hang up with skateboard boys or do they have little razor scooters or like BMX track

stuff? Skateboard boys and bikes. Yeah. How good of pushy's. Yeah. like a kink apex like a small pushy like that you could do tricks on and stuff yeah gyro so you can spin the oh yeah yeah and there was like um there was a skate parking rolling stone but there was also like jumps that kids made like behind the shops yeah so we just hang out there a lot yeah

smoke a few barkies oh no oh no no not smoking then i i never had a oh no well well i never had a cigarette till i was like 19 just the real illegal stuff yeah Well, yeah. Yeah, but that's all above board. Watch a Travis Barker documentary everyone. Yeah, but it's really good. And now I just feel like I'm really living my like alt-girl fantasy. Yeah, and I'm loving that for you.

Thank you. My love to see it is last week I posted a pick in the Tony and Ryan Facebook group of Mabel, like, walking BJ. And I said, like, can you post a pick of like your little friends and, you know, little friends, people are sharing their dogs. Yeah, so cute. Rachel, I think her last name's Yeta, but for comedy purposes, I'm going to call her Rachel Yeeter. Nice.

She goes, oh, this is fun. I'll search for a photo of my dog. Put in the thread, have you seen this? Are you joking me? When I searched my photo album for dog, this one came up. Can we have a little appreciation for this dog too? And I love to see that. It's a photo of Rachel holding a hot dog at the baseball.

That is truly. not only is it hilarious comedy from her. That is the best looking fucking hot dog I've ever seen. I've downed a few dogs in my day, but that is one of the greats. It looks so, it's got like relish on it, a massive fucking pickle, like raw white onion. Like guacamole? What's the great? I think that's relish. Oh, yeah, yeah.

But is there a pickle down the side? Yeah. And the mustard. All the stuff Tony mentioned. All the stuff I said. Yeah, there's tomato. I would lose the tomato personally. The tomato is crazy.

Yeah, it needs tomato sauce, not a tomato. Yeah, they've given you tomato and sauce. That looks so fucking good. Hmm, so is that you love to see it for later in the week, wasn't it? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Yep, all good. There's plenty I love to see. Is there?

That is so funny, though. I pissed. Yeah. Because I found, I looked at the post and was like, gonna post a picture of like Pippa. Yeah. Because I was like, oh, share your dogs. Like, that's so cute. And I saw that and just went, well, I can't do any better than that.

Yeah. That is so fucking funny. Rachel Yeeta. Can you believe we saw the same thing? That's so great. Well done. Love you. Love you.

Love you. Love you for watching. Tomorrow on the show, we will be live from Christchurch. Yeah. We're our birthday party. Live. I mean, we're loosely using the term live. Live when it was recorded.

Live recording from the birthday party. It's not live. Tomorrow's already happened. Time's on chat. All right. Chat to you then. That is already having. Love you.

Bye.