Toni and Ryan - This Coincidence Will Break Your Brain

Episode Date: April 21, 2026

Warranty update - Coincidence chat - Coconut hot take - love ya!!!!!https://www.tonishensparty.co.uk/Sign up to Patreon Here - www.patreon.com/ToniandRyanFAQ and T&C's PODCASTAWAY - www.toniandryan.com.au/podcastawayVideo for this EP is available on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

One thing led to another at schoolies and I hook up with this guy from the house across the road. The next night I meet another guy and we maybe hook up with him as well. Hot. They both had... Hi, I'm Jess from Bendigo, Victoria. I'm Katie from Bansel, Victoria, Australia. Hi, I'm Finley from London and I am... And I am this podcast.

...werew This podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. This is Tony Lodge. My name is Ryan. And Tony is about to marry a guy. who's an idiot, which is very unfortunate. It is unfortunate for me. Can you quickly bring us up to date?

So while we were away recently, I wasn't in the country, so Torbs had to make a decision alone. Our kettle shut itself, he had to go on by another one, and he then informed me that he purchased additional warranty, which is just the stupidest thing that you can do because warranty is a scam. And I let everybody know exactly. what I thought about warranty and informed lots of people that buying extended warranty is

a scam because in Australia, the ACCC protects you. And it turns out that the ACC doesn't have any fans except me. No one knew the good work that they were doing. People now are aware. They're building in popularity. I still don't know if I'm a fan of them. Well, I don't know. I mean, they probably do a bunch of other shit stuff.

No, I don't think that they actually don't do anything. Is this all they do? But I don't know if they do, like here's the thing. They probably, oh yeah, we've got a thing for that. Yeah, sure. Are they following up? Are they checking in? If they were doing their job, they wouldn't allow these extra warranties to be sold in the first place.

No, but so there is a huge class action lawsuit in Australia at the moment against a few of the big. The daybound. Yes. Are we not mentioning brand names for defamation legal purposes? Yeah, we're not going to mention anything. People can do their own research. But there is one being sued. quite publicly and largely at the moment about like the...

Join the class action. Yeah, about like the legalities around the extended warranty and also what they claimed the extended warranty would do, but it is just standard warranties. They're just like pocketing the money. So this was two weeks ago and I said, get your partner torps to take the warranty back. Yes.

I want a refund on the warranty. The kettle's good. Kettle's fine. Is the kettle good? Yeah, the kettle's great. Kettle's fine. Kettle's not having any problems. Kettle's wonderful.

Too wonderful to be paying for an extra warranty. Well, I don't need it because nothing's gone wrong with it. But where are we at? So I inquired. I made it. I put in a quick call. I called where Torbs bought it from. Are they also in the class action?

And I go, hi there, hey going. And they go, yeah, great. Like, how can we help you? Like, so help. They are great there. In fact, no, no, no, in fairness, they are right. That's the opposite of great. But I mean, it's not the people that just work there.

It's the top down, isn't it? Yeah, and they're part of the down. But it's the top. Anyway, and I go, yeah, like, I recently bought something and I purchased extended warranty. Yeah. Can I get a refund on the warranty? I don't want it. And they go, oh, yep, if you've got warranty, any refunds will be covered under that.

And I went, no, no, no, no. like there's not a problem with the product. I want just a refund on the warranty. Yeah, I don't want the warranty. I don't want the warranty anymore. Like the additional, like the percentage of the purchase price that I spent on warranty, like, can I have a refund on that? And they went, why?

Yeah, I bet they did. I bet they got real fucking defensive. And they were like, I don't, we can't do that. I think you can. Do you want me to call the A-J-G-WC? Well, you can. Because after I called, shm-m-s-mash-m-m-5. I googled, can I get a refund on purchasing warranty in Australia?

And guess the fucking first website that comes up? The A-motherfucking triple C. Yes, you can get a refund on a purchased extended warranty, especially if it was a separate contract. Consumers are entitled to a solution of a repair, replacement or refund if a product or service they buy doesn't meet the basic rights, which is the classic warranty of what they're. a warranty should cover.

But yes, you can and should legally be able to get a refund on warranty. And they don't want to tell you that at the store. Because I told them and they went, and the chirpy demeanour in the beginning was gone when I started asking questions. Remember when you said they're great there? No. Snipping around about warranty. They're great when they're robbing your blind.

Not so great when you want honesty. You're not giving you any benefits that you don't already get as a legal, loyal customer of the world. And not writing prices in texture anymore. Are they not? I think they are. I don't think they are. What do you mean? I was told by a potentially very unreliable source that they're not.

No, I think what they do, don't they? So I've got a bit of hair sticking out. It's really stressing me out. Have you got a warranty on that hair? I don't actually. Look at that. That's sticking out. Oh, what a mess.

Anyway, yeah. So they were a bit cagey about it. And maybe they just didn't really know what I meant. But I was like, no, no, no, I want a refund on like purchasing the warranty. And they were just like, oh, no, like, if you've bought it, like, you know, like, she gave me the run around a little bit. But then as soon as I Googled it, it's like, yeah, it should be available. So then you called her back?

No, I did not call back. He doesn't have a receipt or anything. So I can't actually. How are they going to claim the one? warranty then. No, well, because if you... They can't not know about it and then know about it. Like, get their fucking story straight.

That's... I've been fucking hoodwind. Yeah, again. Oh, we don't really know about it. Wow, how am I supposed to plan a warranty? Oh, what about the extra 20 bucks you got out of this? Would it be attached to his phone number? You know how they do that?

Maybe. Yeah. It would be. Because you bought it like in the store. Yeah. And they go, what's your number and we'll text to the thing. Oh. Oh, yeah.

Type that number to your system, sweetheart. Yeah, and just refund that. But she goes, no, we can't do that. But legally, they have to because the ACCC said. Here's a genuine question. Genuine question. Would they pay it back pro rata for the days you've used? Because imagine you buy a year's worth of car insurance.

Like I was about insurance is a great... And then on day 364, you go, I actually don't want the previous years insurance. I haven't crashed. It's like, no, you've been. You've been in shoe. You've been covered for that time. Yeah. So even though it's bogus, they might go, hey, well, the three weeks you've had the warranty.

I love that you said pro rata as well, because you don't hear that that often. You should hear it more. Yeah. What does that mean? I want 40. Like, I know, like, the vibes. I don't know if you do. You tell me what it means.

Well, it's like. It's not anti-rata, is it? No, I'm pro rata. Yeah. I am pro rata. When it comes to Rada, Tony and Ryan, pro. Pro. it's like um like the like pro rata is like say if you got paid 20,000 a year for a full time job,

but it was pro rata of the hours you worked. You still get the equivalent of what $20,000 a year would be per hour, but you don't get paid $20,000 for the year because you didn't do it all. You just get prorata. That's actually kind of right. I think. So if I worked three days a week. Yeah.

Earning 20 grand pro rata. Yep. How much hits my account? That's, can you ask me two and a half days? Because then it's just 10. Because you've worked 50% and got paid pro rata, so then it's 10 grand. Yep. Yeah.

Charles, fuck you. Don't do that face at me. That's right. So when I... Half days. Yeah. And out of five. Out of five.

And you get 10 grand. If you get paid 20 grand. a year. Yeah. Yeah, because it's pro rata. That's right. That actually is right. Are you saying two and a half days per week per year?

Like, that's every week. That's what we were talking about. Charles, there's a dumb shit here and it's not telling you. Yeah, and actually, I would like an apology. Yeah. Apologize for your attitude. I'm sorry. Thank you.

I did say in the YouTube comments, though, of that episode. Fucking hell. That you do, apparently you can get your extended warranty refunded for the first like 30 days. Oh, that cooling off period kind of hard. Apparently. Apparently. Well, J.B. Hot.

They didn't know anything about it. They deliberately don't. In fairness, though, the kettle is hot and the cooling off period would be over. When did you call? I called yesterday. And that's when the period starts and I told you that. Hmm. I called yesterday.

Do you want me to go down there with you? Which store? Northland. Beep it. Oh, I'll fucking see them coming. I'll fucking turn that place upside down. But yeah, so they, you know,

they claim to not know anything about it. And they go, no, no, no, no. Like, yeah, you can get a refund. And I was like, no, no, no, I don't want to, I don't want to exercise my warranty. I want a refund of the, you know what I mean? I don't want to use it. I just don't want it.

And I'm happy for it to be pro rata. And I only get a portion. of it, but that. See you in court. Guys, I've got some coincidence chat. What? Yeah, Tarfuss will send their coincidences. I think I've ordered them from,

oh, that's kind of interesting, to no, okay. Molly. Hi, Molly. One thing led to another at schoolies, and I hook up with this guy from the house across the road. Cool.

The next night I meet another guy and we maybe hook up with him as well. Hot. They both had the same exact birthday. I like that. What are the chances she said? It's one in 360. The thing is though that you, we lose you at what are the chances because then you go, well, the chances are X.

But the thing, that is actually kind of crazy. Can I say what's more crazy? and this might be what you're about to say. What are the odds of just like sucking some dude off and being like, what's your exact birthday? The biggest coincidence is that she sucked off two dudes and asked them both the exact birthday and remembered the other one.

So true. You know, by the way, before you come in my mouth, what's your birthday? What's your birthday? Or is that your pickup line, hey, big boy, what's your birthday? I actually have an ulterior thought. Please.

Did she just hook up with the same guy again? And she wouldn't believe it. She's like, well, what was your baby? He goes, I told you yesterday.

I told you this morning when I left. Terena Taylor. I like that. I like that coincidence. Yes. I'm a wedding planner and I ran my last

wedding before maternity leave. Oh my God. Congratulations. And congratulations on the bar as well. Three days later, I went into Labor. and the groomed sister was the nurse delivering the baby. That's good.

What a crazy coincidence. That is wonderful. It says Tarpa Tarina Taylor. Tapa Tarina Taylor, that's absolutely wonderful. Congratulations on your baby Teresa. Kelsey. Hi, Kelsey MC. No, Kelsey Ewan.

Oh, you wouldn't believe it. You wouldn't believe this. Ewan McGregor. Is that the coincidence? Yep. My last name's a bit like that actor. My mom and dad have the exact same birthday. Cute.

When I was younger, other kids would say, that's why they're in love. And I think that that is what I would say to. And they got divorced on their birthday. Chelsea. Chelsea MC. Chelsea Manson. My ex-boyfriend and I both named our firstborn the same name. I fucking hate this coincidence.

Hang on you going to have to slow down. What? Her and her boyfriend. Yeah. Can they names? No, her ex-boyfriend. Oh, like, not a baby together. Yeah, so they've broken up.

Imagine if you and Bridget, like, we named our baby the same thing, like you chose it. Hey, Bridge, what's your daughter's name, Mabel? Get the fuck out. You're not going to believe it. Same. Okay, so they would, their ex-partners, they've now both had separate kids and both called it Olivia.

Yeah. And she's like, oh, I would hate that. Oh, I don't hate that. It's like if, um, like there's a bit on friends where they, Monica's like, oh, I've thought about the names I would call my kids forever. And like, you're just secretly mad if somebody else uses it. Like, you're just like, oh, well, that's my baby that doesn't exist. Yeah, motherfucker.

Yeah. Irene Pianco, no relation to Kalsi MC. Yeah. Or Panko. Prone. Yeah. Oh, do you know what fucked that fucking Panko chicken thing we ate the other day, Charles? Oh, so good.

You know the other day? From Eddies? Yeah. That was so mean. Panko was an. Underrated crumb. Oh, Panko is the best crumb. I actually, are there any others?

Do you know what? What goes on a schnit? That's normally a fine, our bread crumb. Yeah. But at home, if we do a schnitzel, I'll always use Panko. Really? Oh, yeah, and I'm crumb and by hand. I don't do a store book crumb.

How the other half live, guys. How are you? I don't go pre-cum. Crum. I was trying so hard to not say come. My name is Irene and there are four Irines in my family. Oh, but is it like a family, no. Like, no, she got like a couple of Arnie's one on one side, one on the Irene.

And then there's another cousin. They go, yeah, we just like to name Irene and they just, oh, they're all fucking Irene. But is that not like, oh, we've named you after Arnie Irene? She's just like, it's fucked. They just all. That's off base. I don't think that you can go, oh, you know what? I really like the name Ryan.

I'm going to call my kid Ryan. Yeah, no, we've got one. But there's already one here. There were four Irene's, but there are now two because two of the Irene's died, and they both died on the 17th of August. Like on separate years, separate incidents, but they both died. Same name on August 17. God, I'm going to make the headstones an absolute nightmare.

Now, every August 18, me and the other remaining Irene text each other just to make sure we both made it. You're not going to get us this year. Um, so. What? I don't know. I don't know if I like that. Do you know what's crazy is that? I can't believe.

Four Irene's. Four Irene's. I can't believe that that many people in a concentrated area all liked the name Irene. Yeah, I'm surprised anyone did. Like, it's just, it's not. really that common a name. You know it's a crazy coincidence when two people named the same died on the same date and that's not the fucked bit.

Yeah, because why are they all called Irene? Yeah. And what's going on on August 17? Yeah, what happened? You know? I want to know what happened. Not like the... They were both like not old old and both like sudden.

Yeah. Fuck. I mean, that is that is so traumatic. But you... heard the police sirens. Or the ambulance siren. I'm really sorry about that. One was in a car accident.

The driver said I reamed into the car in front of me. And when they found out they just, I reamed. I don't know. Sorry. One of them went into Irene or failure. And you know what? Every year they go, oh, Irene member her. What?

Irene. you. Irene said that our Irene, Tapa Irene, said at the funeral of the second death. Come on, Irene. No, sorry, at the funeral. The second funeral,

so the second Irene death. The two remaining Irene's looked and were like, you're an ex-c-c-c-. Yeah, well, you would too. You're like, I'm going to be the last Irene standing. I think we should move on to the next. one. Carol.

Hi. Oh. No relation to Cal ZMC. I'm also going to say this is probably the shittest coincidence ever. Oh, no. I love it already. I work for a really big company. My manager Craig has a rare health condition that only one in three million Americans have.

Oh, fuck. So one in three million. Last Christmas, the whole company like brings everyone into town. and says we're having a big Christmas party. That's fun. All the different offices, all the different departments. They have this really big party. That's cool.

And you end up meeting people that you didn't know and all this stuff. And so she meets this other girl. And there's probably people like your email all the time, but you've never met in person and shit like that. I met this girl whose boss has the same rare health condition as my boss. Coincidence. Her manager's name is also Craig. It's the same guy, isn't it?

Crazy, right? Crazy. Same guy? Turns out we've got the same place. Yeah. Fuck. Her desk is like 20 feet from mine. I've just never really talked to her before.

And you go, oh, where did you fly in from? She goes, I live here. Yeah, me too. I work in the office. I've seen you at lunch room. Her desk is like 20 feet from mine, but I've never really talked to her before or noticed her before. But here's the...

Do you work on the same team? you got the same boss. I don't know if it's the same team but I guess that, yeah, fuck. Like, maybe he runs that. That would be like if I'd never met Charles. Now, here's the thing that kills me. It's the last,

it's the last line that Carol's written. Oh, Carol. Okay. Fucking hell, Carol. Fucking hell, Carol. Because we kind of saw it coming and then it was true. Well, because it was, again,

I know your least favorite sentence. What are the odds? Yeah. One in three million. Yeah. She ends this story after saying it turns out it was the same boss. Same guy. Yeah.

She goes, crazy coincidence, huh? Oh, Carol. Carol, you know that that activates something in Ryan. Because it's not a coincidence. It's the same guy. What are the chances our boss is the... Same guy? Like 100%.

Like we... having the same box. What are the odds of two guys named Craig having this really rare disease? Well, zero because there's one person. Do you know this reminds me of that one of the OG coincidences we had when that girl was like, I'm... The brother? I met someone that looked a little bit like someone who went to college with my brother or whatever.

I once met a guy who said he might have met my brother. Oh, fucking hell. What? Did you hear that? Was there something in the wall? Was there something climbing up that tree? Did you hear that though? Yeah, it's like it came from the roof.

I think someone's on the roof. Do you remember when that happy bird was here? Fiddler. When there was that happy bird on the roof, it was like, meing, I don't know if he's, I think he was like trying to stay alive

and struggling for oxygen and couldn't fly. And then we all realized that this guy was about to die. And you were like, oh, he sounds so happy. And Sophie was here. And she just went, yeah no Sophie agreed

it was a happy bird because she knew it was like tap dancing on the roof we all like agreed because no I won't accept that that was a happy bird

and it was yeah bye hi I'm Jess from Bendigo Australia I'm Katie from Bansdahl

Victoria Australia I am family from London and you're listening to Tony Tony Ryan I've been

attacked in the break yeah I'm Sorry, I have to stand by this. I've put a drink at the start of this episode in the freezer. And I was like, when we finished this episode, I'm going to get it and it's going to be cold and chilled because it's been in the freezer for 30, 40 minutes. Yep. And I'm being attacked. No.

And do you know what? The reason is, is because you put a lot of stuff in the freezer. Uh-uh. Bring those eyebrows down, big boy. Drop those eyebrows down. I won't be looked at like that. I want to be spoken to in that tone of voice. You put loads of stuff in the freezer going,

fuck, that's going to be nice in 20 minutes. And then the next day, you go, oh, there's a fully frozen ice long black in here with the straw in it. And the straw is frozen in. And the straw is cardboard. So you try and pull that out, but it rips off. And so I think that I just, I, because, and do not get me wrong, you know this about me. everybody knows this about me. I love a really cold drink.

I love really cold water. I love a really cold di-co. Same, which is strange that you would attack me for liking the same thing you do. No, no, no. Please. Low of those eyebrows. Actually fair.

They were right up there. They were right there with the happy bird. That is still alive. But just add ice. No, because then you water it down. The ice melts. But if... Does it make a difference?

You're a nurseer. I am a nurseer. Does it make a nurseer? Does it make it? make a difference that it's a pre-made bought Rockabies protein drink. I don't think I'd put a protein drink in the freezer. I, that sounds like a fucking recipe for disaster.

If you put ice in that, it would get real like... I put ice in them every morning. Are you joking? Because I do in my little, my turning around Tumblr, which is available on the website, I do like a full thing of ice.

I put two shots of espresso in there and then I top it up with the Rockaby thing. What a brilliant way to live your life. Every day. Would you put it in the freezer to cool it down? Well, no, because it's already got the ice in it. And I mean, coming from the fridge is already like pretty frosty. Like, that's, that's not, it's not warm.

The thing I left out is that the Rockabees was just sitting in the front of my car. For how long? A couple hours. Oh, I thought you meant like since yesterday and I was like, oh, I maybe wouldn't. So I used the freezer to like get it down quick too. Yeah. But the trick is, like you said, to take it out at some stage.

Yeah, I just... I'm great at putting stuff in. Never takes it out. It's always got a kid. We're pulling out, eh? Yeah. To think of all those times I pulled stuff out of the freezer and still had to pay for IVF is crazy.

Well, there was something in the freezer, I guess. There's ice cream in that freezer that's been in there for a while. Is there ice cream in there? I'll have an ice cream. It's from when we made the... The tows. The shit-stained towels. Yeah, so we still got chocolate ice cream in there.

Or yummy. I had something the other day to wash down a chicken strip. No, you know what you should do. You wouldn't put that in the protein drink, would you? You wouldn't. You would not. That would bring the fucking temperature right down, little bitch. You'll bring the right temperature.

That'll horned me right up. That'll bring the temperature right down of your Rockaby. You do a big scoop of ice cream and then pour the Rockaby over at like an affigato. This seems crazy. But it's protein. so it's healthy. This seems crazy,

but I think it feels right. It does. No, you have to do. I would be upset if you do. Can I do it now? Oh yeah. Get it now.

So then by the end of the episode, it would be ready. What? What? What do you mean? You were so in and then you just change your mind. No, no, no. You really fucked me up.

What do you mean? If you make it now, it's ready now. No, no, no. Because you put the ice cream in and then just let it. Because that. That will like infuse and like mix. You don't want the ice cream to be melted.

You want to drink it while the ice cream's still hard. Then you can't drink it if it's a solid. You ever drink in a piece of paper before? It's fucking ridiculous. So you drink around it and then you get to eat the ice cream at the end. Oh, I'm not a child. I am. I want a thick shake.

I don't want a spider or whatever you're making. Do you know what then you should do? Put it in the phone. Nutra bullet. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Whizz that bad boy out with a bunch of eyes.

ice cream. I think what I'm saying... That is a super shake. I think what I'm saying is time is my neutral bullet. What I'm saying is time heals all worse. Instead of mixing it in a neutral bullet instantly. Sorry, I want to say time is my neutral. So I will...

Can I get some warranty for the time I bought? The time will do the mixing. So if I put it in now, then I leave it. You don't just want a big club of fucking melancho. melted ice cream. It won't be a club because I'll leap. You're not understanding the time. You know what I'm saying.

You need to go to the Nuttia bullet. It'll be a thick shake there. Oh, you want the club of it. Do you put the whole thing in the Nutja bullet? You'd screw up. Well, I don't do. I've never done what we're proposing right now. This is new ground for me.

Welcome to the world of innovation. You got, of course we haven't done it. Of course it's never been done before. That's what we're doing here. Because when you're a pioneer, when you're a pioneer, you are the first person that's done it.

How do you spell Pioneer? That new word you just invented it. I don't know. No one's done it before. I'm the Pioneer of Pioneer. Yeah. So. Got some Pioneer.

Can I say something? Always. The amount of wax that's growing in my ears recently has increased. Do you want me to candle them? No, but it's like up here and stuff. Oh, do you know what? I get that sometimes, like the dry skin around it. And it's like bits of, like,

psoriasis bits. So I wonder if it's just dry skin because the season's changing. Does it need a scraping or a wash and or a scrubbing? Normally I... I'll take a can'tling though. I'll do that for you. Yeah. Normally what I do is with like a wet flannel, like after I've been in the shower or whatever,

like I'll... Right in there and give it a swish. Yeah, just because like it does... I mean, now that I don't have as much sore, like... You're not scrubbing as much. It doesn't because it would just get really sore and bleed and stuff. You've got to kind of, but yeah, like I give my ears a little run over, but you know how we discussed how there's a few situations where you think that you're like above the law? Like don't put Q-tips in your ears, but I can.

The way that I do it's fine. Yeah. So I do the flannel and then I do the Q-tip. Every day. Every day. Every day. No wonder you have such beautiful ears that you have daily care. Thank you.

I need a lift. I need to get my ear game up. Because it's the same, you know, when like as a kid or like that old wife's style of like, make sure you wash behind your ears. Yeah. Like I, like, behind your ears and the back of your neck, they like get gross if you don't wash them. Do you wash your feet? Yeah. Same.

Yeah, I do. Is that normal? What do you mean? I don't know. I don't think I, you know, the like, do you wash your legs? I don't think I do that. That's what I mean, yeah. But I do, I do my feet because.

Pits, bits. fucking move on, you know. Yeah, I feel that. But I think I walk around with bare feet a lot. So my feet like, like, I'll take things out to the bin with no shoes on and shit like that. So my feet get like random sometimes. The people on the bad side of reservoir have just learned what it's like to live on the good side. That I'm out there with my hoofs out.

Yeah, because you wouldn't do that on the other side of Broadway. You actually should not. You would not. Nah. But, yeah. So I think that there are. certain times when a foot needs a good scrub. Yep.

Sometimes when, yeah, a rinse over, I think is all good. Yeah. But I always do, yeah, like, Pits Fanny Face, you know? In that order. Tell you know. In that order is really upsetting. Yeah. What's the worst order you could do?

So I just said. Ask the mouth, obviously. A classic. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tappers over at our patron. Are we doing a podcast? We have not done this yet. Joanna Keith, good on you, Joanna. I fucking love to see it.

Thanks for being part of it. Tom Mayer Algo. Good on you, Tom. Jay Savage, 19. Michelle Schum. Thank you, Michelle. Kate Madison, Kristen Tano, Christina Cole, Catherine Mitzon, my titties.

And Kenzie Isabella, sorry. Now, I've got a hot take. That is actually very relevant to what we've just been discussing. Okay. I feel. Charles is just... Is your hot take that you, that Fanny and Face is not the order? If I've ever become a drag queen, I'm going to call myself Fanny and Face.

But... Sorry, I forgot the half of this. This is my job. Got my crown on. Crown on. And I've got my matchstick here for my hot take. Mini matchstick. My hot take.

is that the default milk for coffee and all creamy, yummy drinks, should be coconut milk or coconut cream. You've been scorched. I have been scorched. Allow me to elaborate. Please. In Sweden, when we were overseas, there were a lot of, adding riga, actually, there were a lot of places,

because in Australia, it's like you got your cow. and then you got your soy and then you got like your almond. Yep. The classic, I would say, milks that you get. I'd throw oat into there. Oh, and oat, yeah, that's very fair. One of the more common ones that I saw in Europe was coconut being an option. And I think that coconut milk or coconut cream offers just that like really nice, like nutty sweetness.

And I will admit, I haven't had a lot of exposure to allergies in my life. Like I haven't, no one in my family has really bad allergies or anything like that. Charles is one of the first people I've ever like, been in really close contact with that has like, because you're dairy and nuts, which for you eliminates a lot of the alternative milks. And he can't have dairy either.

So you can't have almond because it's a nut? Yeah. And I can't have normal milk. Can't have cow because of the cow. Yeah. So what I'm proposing, is coconut milk becoming the official secondary milk or primary milk. I wouldn't mind that either.

I thought you're going to say deep. I mean, I would love it to be the default. If I get a latte, it just comes in coconut. However, you are on the record as saying coconut water tastes like semen and you don't like it. I know. But you like coconut milk and coconut cream are so delicious. And just to circle back very quickly to the allergy chat, approximately 0.3. 39% of the US general population has a convincing coconut allergy,

which translates, I don't know. To find convincing. Convincing feels like gaslighting. This is just what I copied and paste from the website. Allergies.us.gov. Yeah. 0.39%, which translate to roughly 1 in 260, it's a very uncommon allergy.

Compared to the other ones. Compared to a dairy intolerance or a nut allergy. And so... Have you ever met someone allergic to coconut? This is what I'm saying. It's a great default. I think it's a really good default. And you're committing to the taste and the feel?

I think I am. Are you? It's so numbing. One of my favorite cafes in the city doesn't do almond for some reason. Sure. And I always go, okay, and they go, do you want coconut? And so every time I go there, I end up getting like a coconut cappuccino. Yum.

Isn't that a fun word to say first? coconut cappuccino. But it, it fucks. It's delicious. Because you cannot look any person on earth in the eye and tell me that something with coconut in it doesn't taste like a holiday. I can tell,

we can all tell that you've just been on a tropical island. And you have bought the tropical feel back to the mainland. And on behalf of the mainland, thank you. Because I do feel like I'm on holidays when I have coconut stuff. Do you know why this came up and has been? been brought into my life is because I found it crazy that coconut milk isn't an option in Fiji.

What? Because they just call it milk there. That's very funny. Because I was like, oh, they've got so many. Like there are so many of them as if that wouldn't be such a fun default. There used to be this place right in Richmond where the cold brew was brewed with coconut water and it was like a drip cold brew. I think I like that.

It was fucking delicious. And I'm not a fan of coconut water on its own. But that was so fucking good. And I'm just like, oh, you would think that in Fiji, that would be one of those things that they go, oh, easy win. Like it feels like, you know, a bit exotic and a bit different. You would think that that would be the automatic one. But it isn't. And I don't know why.

I think Fijians are liars. Okay. And let me tell you why. Because of the taxi. First of all, the taxi. Yeah. Second of all, as if they're not doing coconut. That doesn't make them lies.

It just makes them... No, they don't confess to the tourists about... They're keeping the coconut up for themselves. The third reason I know their lies is last time Charles and I were there, we went on the jet ski. We weren't allowed to go on the jet ski because of the cyclone. Oh, two waves are too big for you. No, I wanted to go. And they were like, no.

Little cyclones. So Charles and I are out on the jet ski and we see out into the distance. There's like a fire, this huge smoke coming out of this thing. Oh, shit. And I said to Captain Steve, liar.

What's the deal with the fire? And he goes... Fire. Liar. So true. Pants on. Liar. He goes, oh, so that's like a sugar mill because they make lots of sugar in Fiji.

Yeah, sugar cane grows really well. Yeah. And then he goes, so if you want to make brown sugar, you just get the white sugar and just put it in the fire. So they're just burning it off to make brown sugar. And I went crazy. Who knew? Yeah, I don't think that's true. Turns out that's not true at all.

No. And I think so you're coming. He did. And I went, isn't that crazy? And Charles was like, what? Yeah.

Do you remember him telling me that? Yeah, I do. And did you know straight away he was pulling my leg? No, because he made it seem very like, yeah,

and he probably tells all the stupid fucking tourists the same story. And we all probably went, yeah. And I went back to the room and go, Hey, bridge, did you know,

this out of make brown sugar? She goes, no. They just pour it in a fire? Yeah. Yeah, that's maybe how you make caramel. Yeah.

Yeah. But I just think missed opportunity that coconut isn't the default, especially in Fiji or that they're not doing some fun coconut-y kind of coffee, because that just feels like you're on holiday. At home, you don't get that. I think that it should be the default year-round. There are six people that come into the Tarp office during the week. Let's go around the room and see if coconut milk was the,

default milk in the office where that would land pro that's one Charles I've actually not a fan of coconut milk Tony's really gone into bat for you here Charles I really went into that with you for the other cheese just a quick yes or no yeah pro yes okay Danny Tommy's not here but I he'd be told me talk to us down from is he watching on the stream yeah Tommy He's all on a slave. He's not watching. So for it to be a majority.

Yeah. Well, it already is. You have to be about 50% to be a majority, don't you? It already is. We've got, oh, sorry. Sorry. No, we got, yeah. Oh, do we got four.

Yeah. Coconut on my face. What's yours? That's mine. Are you a pro? Yep. Yeah. You're a pro.

Also, I'm pretty sure there's... Procana. Sorry. I'm pretty sure there's chocolate coconut water that's been in the fridge for about nine. That fucking coconut water. Not like that specific one? Oh, has that one been open?

It hasn't been open. It hasn't been open. So that's still good to go. Pop some of that with your Rockaby. I think we opened at the day we got it. We all had a sip and went, that's nice. Let's have more of that later and then left it there for 10 months. No, I think we got two.

We went through a few cards. Yeah. Did we? Oh, yeah. Because you remember you couldn't get it. Yeah. I take back everything I've said. Yeah, because Torbs and I have a carton of it at home that we bought two years ago.

Like because you couldn't buy it. So I think I've gone, oh, they've got it. Two or three. Yeah. But in the fridge, it's ready to go. It's been a big day for coconuts. You've got to be ready to go. Hot take.

I've got to your love to see it. And it's a little video. I thought of bringing a little show and tell. Oh, please. This video is so fucking cute. I reckon you've probably seen it. It's been doing the rounds a little bit. And there's a few POVs of the same video.

But this is the OG one that I saw. Okay. This little girl has walked. passed this event it's like a big outdoor thing they've put up a marquee yep and if you hit play on that Charles so there's a DJ in there and there's all these people dancing and this girl just started fully dancing and having the fucking time of her life and you see the guys up there they're the DJs yeah and they're watching her have just the best time wait for the draw oh oh oh oh oh oh oh and everyone

else is watching through the window as well. And it is so cute. And I think that the, like, the text of being like, let children shine. And they're like, you know, this kid is just like living her best fucking life. There's now, though, I've seen going viral all of the other POVs of the people from inside the tent filming the little girl just like going fucking ham and having a huge dance out the front. That's fucking awesome. I just thought it was so adorable. I love to say that.

Before I get to my email, I love to see it. I just want to read some numbers about the hens party. Oh, please. Because it's less than a month away. Get your tickets now. Over half the seats in the theatre, I've already gone. Troxy Theatre in London. Less than 7% chance of chandeliers being broken.

Less than 7. Sorry, do you need some coconut water? I'm so sorry, I almost died. 100% chance of us singing a musical number. Yes. 13% chance of a long-held lodge family secret being revealed. I hope there's no drama. I don't like those odds.

I still too high. 100% chance of silliness. Because we're going to be there and we're silly. 98% chance of a better night than whatever else you had planned for a Tuesday. I reckon that could be higher. 99. Because we don't know. Like maybe someone's got a banger.

Yeah. Maybe someone's going to see Goldplay. A hundred percent chance of meeting other tarpers who are fucking legends. Oh, yeah, 1,000% of that. And an 83% chance of me getting my rig out. That should be hired too. Wow, it's pretty good chance. And a 100% chance, as you said, on the musical number,

maybe 200% chance. For someone that understands pro rata. You see what I'm saying. Not really, no. What's your love to say? You don't know what I mean? No, I really don't. Oh, you can get your tickets to the hens party, tony's hensparty.com.com.

com.com. Yep. All that. All that. Live theatre show, one night only, extravaganza. Extravaganza. I like that. You're fucking welcome.

My love to see it is a few weeks ago, I was saying how much I love crunchies, because I love crunchies. their honeycomb center they're chocolate around the outside Tony doesn't really like them I just think that there's just better there's better name seven

Amoro I do think is better a Twix is obviously better a cherry ripe fucks a boost bar a boost fucks I don't you boost yourself out of this fucking building

um that Maribu chocolate we got in Sweden fuck off that fucked and Dame also Dame was pretty good. The maribou chocolate, you didn't like that?

It's no crunchy. Get fucked. Sorry. You Jenna. No, me Tony. You, Ryan. Thank you, Charles. You like, you Charles.

Eugenna said. No, no, no, no. Me, Tony. Someone has said, my love to see it is that we now have crunchy bars in Canada. It's not just an Australian thing. It's got over the Pacific Ocean and we fucking love them here. That's wonderful.

Now, this is where it gets really nice. It reminded me of my grandmother said someone. Tapa. My grandmother actually used to make homemade crunchy bars. That would fuck. Like she'd make a big slab of like spongy toffee. Let the honeycomb. Yeah.

And I make this thing and then make her own chocolate to like cover sections of it. Yeah. And so hearing the great crunchy chat just reminded me of those beautiful homemade ones we used to have. Yeah, yeah. Because chocolate covered honeycomb, like. Guess what flavor? My drink is in the phrase. Oh, that's a chalk honeycomb.

About to get chocolate ice cream in it. Yeah. Yeah, that's good. The sooner we end this episode. Oh. I'm really sorry about that. That was inappropriate. It was, and I sincerely apologize.

You deserve better than that. Thank you. thank you well I love to say that yeah all right love you tomorrow on the show have you ever

a bounty so like placed on me all this coconut chart have you ever had one I've never had one yeah once there was a hundred grand up for me dead or alive

that was coconut no I've like it's a you can't have too many of them because I think I'd like it because I love coconut but I've never had one a one a first

Fun size will get the job done. Because if you have too many, you're like, I get it. There's coconut. What's a bounty? Celebrations. Because it's not a favorite say. It's a celebrations. Potentially, yeah.

You used to get them on their own as well, a little fun size number. You know what fucks in celebrations? The Maltese are teaser. That's my favorite one in the celebrations. Tomorrow we have the Hens Party edition. I also like the Galaxy Dove one. That's Yum too. Tomorrow we have the Hens party edition of normal.

or now. And I need to give everyone and warning. What is it? You've shit yourself. The term dick juice is used. I mean, we've just talked about coconut water as the same thing.

It's when you hear this description of dick juice, it's actually not the same. And it's significantly worse. Okay. Like I said, a lot of hens party stories, none of them positive.

Yeah. Yeah, all right. Love you. See tomorrow. Bye!