Toni and Ryan - This Kid Can't Sleep Without His Axe

Episode Date: January 27, 2026

Emotional support items - Foods you'd eat for a year - Binfluencer - love ya!!!!!Ryan's YLTSI - https://www.etsy.com/au/shop/WobblyStitches?ref=shop_sugg_marketSign up to Patreon Here - www.patreon.com/ToniandRyanFAQ and T&C's PODCASTAWAY - www.toniandryan.com.au/podcastawayVideo for this EP is available on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's got the blood of his enemies on it. What? What? Hi, I'm Anthony from Sydney, Australia. Hi, this is Kate from Chicago. Hi, I'm Kit. And this is Kuro from Wungong, Australia. And we...

When I'm in this podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. We like to laugh at silly things. And welcome... Sorry, I've... Welcome back to shoe spraying week. Thank you. It's like the Great British.

Bakeoff. They've got bread week. They've got Lamington week. They've got Battenberg week. We've got shoe spraying week. And also... Paul Hollywood is about to walk out. Charles and I have reached peak internet because Tony just said to me nice shorts and Charles and I

both assumed you're talking about YouTube shorts. Okay. Well, you and I have too much time on the internet. Different definitions of peak internet. I think... Yeah. What's your peak internet? Well, I don't think that my peak internet is you thinking it's shorts.

No, I mean, like, we're just too in the internet language that just like, heaven forbid, a guy gets the pins out and we're talking about. And I said, I like your shorts. Thank you. Is it weird that your undies are longer than your shorts? I think it's just the way I'm sitting. But sometimes when you wear a long bike shirt. Because you wear a long knicker.

Don't use that word, man. You do wear a long knickers. Don't you though. We don't wear nicked guys. We've had this conversation. I actually can't have this conversation. What do I say then? Your undies are long.

Like boxes. Your boxes are long. Yeah, because it... Boxes to me, though, always sounds like those loose silky ones. Yeah, how gross. Wouldn't they crack if you came in them? What?

Like if you got calm on those silk boxes, they would just crack, wouldn't they? Yeah. You ever jerk someone off in a silk boxer? No. I'm saying like, wouldn't they like, though? Probably. Because it's like that, like, synthetic.

Yeah, they're just fucking gross. And also just like on a hot day, it is just the worst. Things are moving around a bit too much. Yeah. And like I said, on a hot day, it gets sweaty because silk don't breathe. No, I like to keep a tidy, cozy home. So true.

Yeah, I think you've got to have it. Well, these are actually great for not... Could you not grab your cock and look me in the eye, please? I'm talking... Could you not grab your cock and look me in the eye? I'll make a deal. You never refer to my underwear as knickers or Nikki News or any version of, and I'll never grab my cock and look you in the eye in.

No deal. my boxes the long ones are good for chafing because it's not skin on skin oh oh like if you'd wear like a longer bike short to the same yeah i like wearing bike shorts for yeah same reason i never thought about that so that's where i like wearing long nicky news you're on board no i don't like it have you sprayed your crocks i'm wearing crocs today um and i don't think these need spraying they're naturally sprayed. They come pre-sprayed by the good people at Crocs.

Yeah, thanks Crocs. To be fair, I've used up all my spraying week content. It's only Wednesday. Oh. Anyone else got anything done? So maybe is it like maybe like a shoe spraying weekend next year? Like maybe not we don't need full week. I was going to suggest a day, but I reckon an hour would get it done.

No, I had done enough. Remember Earth hour? Yeah, and the city would turn off. Yeah, I reckon we... For safety, though. How does that work? What do you mean? Well, like, if all the lights are off,

like, surely you need a few safety ones on. No, but you need power to commit crimes. So without the power, they can't do that either. Okay. But you're actually never safer than during Earth hour. It's like the reverse purge. It's the Euripa. So, hang on.

Sorry. Oh. Getting to the end of the week, you know what I mean? It's a night. morning. My favorite. Someone who can't read, that was unreal. My favorite meme is

that's funny. Liz Lemon. Yeah. Lemon it's Wednesday. What a week. Lemon, it's Wednesday. Yeah. Sorry, I've just had that moment.

You were saying something? Oh, you were thinking about the opposite of a bird. Yeah. And you said, I'll sip this herbal tea in an Apple podcast mug. Oh, what do you got? It's the detox. citrus lemony one that we've got sounds lovely would you like one no just fucking go fuck myself

hey we're a team here bud ignore yesterday's episode we're a team here bud leave behind when i accused you of one of the worst things when i likened you to the worst person you've ever met a few of them actually anyway sorry that actually is you know no but that's hit me it wasn't about them it was a I don't think that makes it better. Nah, nah. And you know how we go, now leave it behind.

Sorry, I need the horse photo. Do you have it? We need it. I think that we need the horse photo. Oh my God. Yep. We're each holding the horse photo.

I also forgot that I've been connected by the horse photo. That's good. I've got boarding passes to Fiji in the drawer. I'll keep that out. Okay. Don't you laugh, Charles. You have to figure out how we're going to film that thing. Oh

Fing at him She gave me the bird from the drawer That's good stuff I'm back on She's back Yeah She's back Wednesday

I like what's in your top drawer Fuck off Charles Oh no Sorry I'm put that one What's in the The hat that I wore for that gag last year Yeah

Let's say there in Christmas That's toy Yeah he's been lost Without it He couldn't go to any festivals Uh Tony has brought to my attention, probably one of the most...

Tony said it's a beautiful video. It makes me feel strange, but please let us all enjoy a one-year-old throwing a birthday party for a dead cicada. Okay, cicada. Here you're down. Cater. All your friends are here. So, I think the fact that the kid is dressed as a cicada is strangely over. overlooked in the video.

Yeah, you almost miss it because you're so confused about the dead cicada. So this child just carries about the dead cicator. The dead cicada is her best friend. Yeah. And I love that for them. It's important to have friends. Now, mixing the cicada into them.

Like, she just loves her. It's so gross, isn't it? And she carries it around with her and stuff. I love the video. I think that they are very sweet. But it is a. touch upsetting. I'll give you that. No, the upsetting part's not the dead cicada.

It's just like the sadness that that's her friend. No, I think it's very sweet. So, that kid loves nature. Tapa Jess Gray. Thank you for sending this question through to the Tony and Ryan Facebook group. Not just purple. Sorry. Not doing jokes today. I never do.

Forgot the comedy was up. Oh, shoe spraying week. No jokes. Got it. Remember that for next year. It's actually not a laughing matter to protect the things that protect your feet. Jess Gray. Hi, Jess. Do you know. That's what you sound like.

Do you need a twigs? TARF as with kids. What's the weirdest emotional support item your kid has? Love it. Might not be a dead cicada, but my 20-month-old daughter is currently using my full-length hooded dressing gown that I got for Christmas, she can't sleep without it. If I take away my adult-sized dressing gown,

my 20-month-old has a full-blown meltdown. Is it like because it must be so snuggly and like it smells like mom and... Probably, but I'm actually going to give all of us some advice. I reckon us trying to figure out why they like them, considering the list I'm looking at here, is probably not going to serve us. The cater, yeah.

Yeah. But we can, can we like still postulate? 100%. But in terms of like rationalising, excuse me, what the fuck was that word you just used? Can you just Google postulate, Charles, and make sure that I use that in the correct cost to situation? I think postulate is when you hang from a bar for one minute a day for a month and your posture gets better.

Suggest or assume the existence fact or truth of something as basis for reasoning, discussion or belief. Oh, so I was actually correct, I think. Yeah. We can discuss what we think maybe is the right. I know we don't have an answer, but we can postulate about it. I'll take that. I also spelled it right.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Actually, Charles, that's fucking huge from Charles. He's spelt right. Tony's just dropping bombs over here. I love it. Because, yeah, it smells like your mom. I get that.

But you would be so gutted, though, that you're like, My, sorry, smells like your mom just sounds like a your mama joke. Yeah, it does. Oh, what's that? Smells like your muck. Yeah. I don't really remember. But, Jamie.

The mom, what's her, what she called, Purple Lady. Jess. Jess. She was probably like this dressing gown. Jessing gown is going to be my emotional support thing. No. I'm going to leave it. No, but that's probably what she hoped for.

And she's like, okay. Not anymore, Jess. Okay. See you. Uh, Jamie Sheehan. Hi, Jamie. An onion. We even had to take it on a flight with us

and had to explain to security that my kid won't go anywhere without. He has a meltdown without his onion. That's an interesting one. Jessica MC... Probably crying because of cut it open. I'd cry too. Jessica MC Britain.

My kid loves his can of tuna. Like a... Like eating tuna? No, just the can is its friend. Like the dead cicadas. She's like, I just love that can of tuna. That one specifically. Yeah.

For nearly an entire year, my daughter would take her can of tuna with her everywhere. But not to eat like to keep closed and like, oh, we're going on the slide. Can of tuna. You want to come with me? Postulate that. What are they thinking? Luanne. A can of tuna is so random.

After his very first haircut, my son carried around a zip. block bag with his hair in it. Oh my God. Is this fucking future murderer's anonymous or something? Are you fucking kidding me? Carrying the hair around. This was a normal daily occurrence for seven months. Oh my God.

Spectacles, testicles, wallet and bag of hair. Phone keys wallet hair. Alyssa Stout. Have a Guinness. That's a stout, isn't it? Calm down. No need to Elisa Stout about it. What?

What is my? What? What? What? No, walk me through that one. Are you yelling at me? Walk me through that one. Please don't.

No. No. No. Oh, no. Won't pay that. One of my twins had emotional support tongs. He carried and loved for months and months. Every time he got upset or cried, we were like, someone find the damn tongs.

It'll make him feel. They're clacking them together and stuff. That's so funny. Now, this one is a very very. normal emotional support item and except for one specific detail. My daughter loves this doll. She saw it in the store and straight away was like, that's my friend. I love that doll.

I have to have that doll. I had a baby born called Kate. And I loved her. I used to make my mom. I had a baby born pram. And I used to like take it to the shops. Like I'd take my baby everywhere like a mother would. Oh, so.

I'm like pushing the pram with the baby and not like a teen mom. But I was like five. Yeah. So people in the Patreon group chat will know that I sometimes go for a walk as Grandpa Ryan. And because I've got Mabel and Mabel's got her daughter in the pram. And so I always take a photo. I'm like, hey, it's Grandpa Ryan here. That's very funny.

My daughter's got a daughter. She can't sleep without this specific doll. Yep. Charles, can you bring a picture of the doll up? It's a Halloween doll. Like a cursed dead baby Got no eyes Got no eyes

It's got green skin It looks like it's been dead for years Like it's like the bit from the exorcism Like the original one Yeah Everywhere they go She's My God that little girl is so cute

Now this is from Lindsay Lindsay says it's actually a talking doll And it has sweet comforting phrases Like you drop me and broke me Now I'm angry And also I'm watching you That's what that doll does.

In the night when she's sleeping with it. I'm watching you, that was like having a Furby. God, weren't they little bird demons? Yeah. Did you ever have a Furby? The original angry,

angry birds. No, that's funny. Nah, but they're, nah, they're a bit freaky for me. They are,

yeah, I begged for one for Christmas. My brother bought me one and it was horrifying. Like, they were so spooky. They would just turn on in the night and stuff. Dina Pascoe says,

my son has an emotional support axe that he can't sleep without. And, it's got the blood of his enemies on it. For those of you playing long at home, it is a blow-up toy axe with blood on it. It's like another Halloween costume. Yeah, but he can't sleep without his axe.

Like, I can't sleep, Mom. Oh, let me get your axe, sweetie. That's so fucked. It's so fucked up. Thanks for sharing these. I, that is just, just imagining like, you're running errands. Like, you got your kid with you, obviously, and you're like, walk into the bank and your kids holding a bloody axe. And, you know, at first, obviously, it's blow up and it's just a key, whatever, but like, on first glance, you're going, whoa.

And it's got blood on it. Whoa, how much do you need? Yeah, yeah, hey, press a panic button. Like, what are you fucking? Now, finally, Sarah Hens. Hi, Sarah Hens. Guess who her husband is. Sarah Buss.

For a whole three weeks. That deserved better. One thousand percent. Fuck you. You're such a dick. My husband's a big cock. Nice. For a whole three weeks,

my toddler insisted on taking this everywhere and couldn't sleep without it. It was her emotional support duwrex. So three weeks, did you say? Three weeks. Couldn't sleep without holding the Durex condo. It is in a rapper. Yep.

Yeah, yeah. It's child safe. It's child. Well, is it though? Is it a little foil? The edge of those are sharp. I don't think it is child safe. But wouldn't sleep without it.

It's just so comforting. Maybe it was just like the crinkle of the like crackle of a little paper. The know that like he'll only be a only child if we keep this around because you never know. Like it took it down the street in the pram. like excuse me your... Oh, what do you have there? And that's a little kid.

It's like barely a toddler. It's like a baba. And it's like walking in the... Excuse me, ma'am. I'm that baby in the... It's holding a condom. Oh. Um...

This is really upsetting. It's just... But it's just like you thought the cicada was bad. You know? Yeah. Yeah. And again, thank you for sending these photos through of your beautiful cute children. It's great.

We'll post them in like Detroit and stuff as well. so you can say it, but oh my God. Just like such an innocent little baby that's just so funny, eh? Oh. He really wants a sister. I'll keep this so mom and dad can't use it. Yeah.

Heaven forbid the cock gets the hen. I'm sorry. Heaven forbid. I'm Kit and this is Kiro. I'm Anthony from Sydney, Australia. This is Kate from Chicago and you're listening to Tony. We'll just like to share with you about our emotional support Patreon.

If you would like to sleep without it. We can't sleep without it. If you'd like to support us over at Patreon, we've got some BTS staff. There's a group chat for the champion TARPERS. There's also a podcast way available to, this is the last week to enter round two of Podcastway. So for our champion TARPers, you can answer the question. All the info is available on Patreon. But if you haven't joined yet, you can look at the T's and Cs.

in our link tree on Instagram. But I would love. And in the show notes, the bio links. I would love to go to Fiji with you and your plus one. So wherever you are in the world, we're going to fly you over, put you up in a hotel. We're going to have a mad week in Fiji at the end of the year.

But like Tony said, it's the last week to tell us in 25 words or less. What is the first thing you were doing in Fiji? Do you have an answer? Yeah. The first thing I do is set my bed up with my emotional support act. Yeah. So I can sleep.

With ease. Ryan and I are going on different flights, because I don't want to get caught up with him and his axe in security. I just think I just go, oh, I might get the next one. You know what I mean. I know we're here for comedy reasons.

Yeah. But true or false. Yeah. The other day when we were like booking flights for something. And I was like, oh, we have to sit next to people and someone and you go, can I sit next to Ryan?

Yeah. We've traveled together a lot. I think that we're just in a good vibe. We're in sync. We get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. We don't fuck around.

Yeah. We were booked for something we're doing in a week or two. Yeah. And you on the aisle and I was on the window. And I logged in and was like, mm-mm. Because you know. You know you like the window. So you just get nice and cozy and look out there.

And you like the aisle so that you can get up and ship myself. Yeah. See, we get it. Perfect pair. A few of our champion tarpers. Check that other one though. Yeah. Fuck.

You told me that literally three days. No, but I like it's. I've checked. It's all good. Oh. But have you seen why? Yeah, it's weird. Yeah.

Why is it weird? Oh, when you see the layout of the seats, you just like. Is it something we can do or no? Like, can we do it live? No, we can't do it live. Oh, you. No. It's just really strange.

No, okay. All right. I want to see how this. Like every plane is set out kind of the same and then some guys like, you know what? Isn't that weird? No. When you get used to the, how they go and then you go, hang on. It's like how every airport does it differently.

Yeah. If you take your laptop out, I'll shoot you. If you leave your laptop in, I'll shoot you. Like, you can't fucking win. It's hard not to get shot in an airport these days. Oh, every time. A few of our champion tarpers. Hopefully some of the people that have entered to win

and come away with us with podcast way. Remember when you joke that you put a gun in the lasagna? And we don't do pranks. Like, I'd said and then I regretted it. Yeah, but I was like, and you're like, I know you haven't. But you're like, I know you haven't. You're like, it's that thing of like, I know you haven't.

But like, Have you? And can I, how could I check? Without shoving my hand into a lasagna. True lasagna. Yeah. Bha. Alicia, thank you so much for being part of our Patreon.

Emma Robluski. Terry, Mia Jones, Juliet, Tarpathon. Mrs. Tarpathon. We actually named it after her. Tina Stein. Jackie B. Good on you, Jackie. Brian, D.

Zoe Gladwin, Lori Holden, Lori Holding. Jess Trow, Pauline. And I feel like because inside Patreon, if you're a member, I replied all the DM. So I feel like I kind of get to know most people pretty well. So when names pop up, I like recognize them. I reckon you recognize this last one. Bridget Dunn. Is she a champion Tarpa?

She really wants to come to Fiji. She obviously heard her say that she's not allowed to come. She goes, I'll try and fucking win them. 25 words or less. Yeah. Tell us the first thing that you'll do. She's like. Suck my husband's dick.

I was going to say and Mabel to Ryan and go over and get a Margarita. Does she want to win or not? My answer Hand Mabel to me. She wants to win

she'll put my answer in and like oh that one sounds pretty good. That was my answer as well and I won. So it does work. Don't do that. Is there been any have we resolved

the family plus ones? I'm sure you want to do that on the air? No. Okay. So, Ryan and I were... Someone, sorry, someone in the street the other day came up to Bridgett and consoled her about the Fiji trip. I hope you'd already talk to her.

She's at the supermarket or something and someone goes, Oh, Bridger, Ryan's phone. And she goes, yeah. And she said, sorry about Fiji, doll. She goes, oh, thanks. And then like, they went like... Tarpers are so caring, hey. They're the best.

The other day, Ryan and I hang out. And I was just like, oh, And Todd was there and Bridget was there. And I was like, oh, we were talking about what we should have for dinner or doing food shopping and something. And I was like, if you could eat one dinner for the rest of your life, like one single meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? And we kind of started talking about it.

And it took us on a bit of a turkey journey. And we learned some stuff about each other. We really, I learned some stuff about your fiancé. So I had to be quite specific about the fact that it wasn't just like, oh, I pick pasta so that I could eat pasta every night. It's like, no, it's like a specific. Because pasta you could have seven different kinds of pasta every day. No, I'm talking one single meal.

Yep. So my answer, which I think is quite a good answer, it's a chicken parmesan with chips and salad. I could easily eat that every night for dinner. Yep. Like I don't think I'd get sick of that. I think it's got enough textures and whatever. Torbs starts thinking about his answer.

I don't think we should say Torbs is on the internet. It's really upsetting. I actually looked at you and I was like, is this the I'm going to marry? And I literally was like, oh, you can change. You can, have a thing. You can change, like have another go. Hey, big boy, have another thing. Have another crack at that, I reckon.

And, um. Hey, Uncle Alex, why don't you go again. Yeah. Even if it's true. Say your second one. Give it another crack. Yeah. We can all forget that you said that.

Should we, should we say what his was? His answer I actually can't was nachos Isn't that the worst answer to that question I fucking love nachos but I'm over nachos

about halfway through the nachos 1,000 same And then the thought of having that again for the next meal I just don't think I could do it every day Absolutely not What do you do you have an answer Charles I reckon it would be like

Chicken Katsu sushi Oh because like on the off day you could just take like the chicken out of it and just have like the rest. But I put like a marinated chicken and rice kind of thing because I just reckon like a well cooked fucking chicken with the marinade, throw that in the air frying rice with some greens, covers all bases. That's obviously never cooked it himself.

You would never put that in an air fryer. The chicken. And then put it on the rice. The only thing about sushi and because sushi did come up in conversation. I just don't think it's like year. you'd want to eat that for dinner. You get home on a cold winter's day and you go, I'm going to have a warm, wholesome dinner and I'm going to have...

Chicken Palmer though, year round is good. You can eat it in summer, which you do. Which you'd fuck, yep. You'd eat it in winter, which you do. And as Tony said, it's not that off footing to eat in the sun if you had to. It's a really good point. Where's soup in the sun? No way.

No. Even pasta. I think that like... I did say KFC. singer. Yeah. Which I think is also a good answer, but God, I use shit all the time anyway, so you'd be fine.

Yeah. I did say eggs Benedict. Yeah, I'd fuck with that. Yeah. I would eat that feeling now. I think Bridget would go like a spaghetti bolognaise, like a meatball bolognais. I love a meatball baller, but I just, every day. The tomato and the acidity would fucking destroy me.

And you'd go through fucking, Gavvy's like, no fucking tomorrow. Are you going to out me for the seaweed? Well, yeah. So Torbs goes, well, if I can't do nachos, like, maybe I'll just do Mexican then. And I said, no, it's not a cuisine. It's a meal. Like, it's one specific meal. And Ryan goes-

Does everyone understand what Tony's just said there? Yeah. Okay. So Ryan, Ryan goes, what the fuck does cuisine? I don't need your fucking fancy words. What does cuisine mean? and I went What?

And he goes Well I don't care I don't care if what does cuisine mean I like you can't just be throwing fancy shit around I didn't get what you were trying to say And I was like What do you mean what's a cuisine It's like if I said like

Italian or Mexican You know like a certain type of cuisine Click the search button on Uber eats Thank you Yes Yes Oh I am familiar with such an activity Ryan goes

Oh You mean the food genre that's what you meant and I went what he goes you mean the food genre and I was like well um

like I guess so and he started to try and back it in and I said I still back it in shut the fuck up and I started writing it down so I could share it on the podcast so I would love to hear

you try and get yourself out who doesn't know what the word cuisine is guilty as it were sorry for answering my own question first of all I think what you believe

the word cuisine to be and me saying sorry Charles could you bring up Davo again on the internet no Charles can you actually

Google the definition of cuisine yeah continue sir I first of all a style or method of cooking, especially as a characteristic of a particular country, region, establishment. I reckon what I've said, as stupid as and funny as it is, is like not incorrect.

It is a genre of food. Can you Google the definition of genre? Because I agree with you that technically the word is right. Like it's a category of dot dot dot. But it isn't how you would use it necessarily. Well, okay. A style or category of art. music or literature.

Food's art. Food is art and music. A chicken parmesan with salad and chips is up. So I... Should we go get a chicken parmesan with salad and chips after this? Fucking, yeah, from Moondog World. I actually just got pussy in my fucking push juice. Sorry.

So I go again with that one. No. So my... So first of all, I stand by the fact that cuisine just meets genre of food. That's... I'm staying... I think it's fair. I was wrong originally is I didn't know what cuisine

mean clearly. Which that is just crazy. I thought cuisine was just like... Hang on, wait for it. Wait for what he? I thought... It's not that funny. No, I don't even know what you're going to say,

but like, let's just fucking see what happens. I thought cuisine was just another name for food. Like it was a... What is it like a synon? Not a sin... What's the one where it's like two things mean the same thing? Hmm. Like wood or timber.

What? What's that? It's wood. What's that? Timber? Both correct. Yeah, well, timber is a type of wood. Genre is a type of cuisine. I didn't know. So I just assumed if you were like, what food are we having? Like, what cuisine are we having? Like, they were interchanger. I didn't realize it was a genre. Okay. It was a genre. I just thought it meant food. Oh, suck my dick. Suck my dick. I suck my dick. Okay, Charles has just Googled. A genre of food. Like, did you Google? Did you Google? Did you Google? I said genre of food definition. Genre of food definition.

A genre of food prefers to cuisine. Well, cuisine my bowl slut because I was correct. That is amazing. Take, please, enjoy this cuisine. Oh, it's adopted. Not really sure where it's from. All right, you can get up up your knees now. That was a good time.

clean myself up a little bit who's been Davoed now no we're not doing that yeah so I honestly didn't know what cuisine means I will say that I think that genre of food sounds very poetic like to say like the genre of food like it sounds like what someone would say

if you went to like a fancy degastation meal I was just about saying maybe I think cuisine meant like a meal. So it's like almost like, oh, let's go to the store to get some stuff for our cuisine. Because I, you know, I just didn't really know what that would. You say the word cousin. Cuisine Bonnie is coming over. What should we have for dinner? Cuisine, Georgia, beautiful wedding on the weekend.

Cuisine-in-in-law, Luca, welcome. What genre of food did I have at the reception? Very Italian. I had a genre of lemoncello. Oh, did you? Yeah. That's nice. Or they pronounce a gallon.

Is there someone downstairs? What did you just say? Limoncello, I think they pronounce a gallon. What do you mean? I drank a lot of it. Oh, I thought you were saying the word for limoncello. I was like, I think it's limoncello. It's like, how do you say pizza in Italian?

Pizza. You'll never guess. All right. Okay. What do we love to see? I've really loved to see it here that Carissa Krieger sent through in Patreon. I started the fucking blog. Congratulations.

Another crafty one. I learned how to sew almost a month ago and was like, hmm, what if I made this into a business? Where are all the best ideas come from? Yep. And so that's what I did. Wobbly stitches is what it's called.

It's up on Etsy. And I'm going to do some farmers markets in Louisville, Kentucky. I've been there. You've been to Louisville. I've been there with you. Yep. I'm so excited to finally... You saw a squirrel there.

It was the most exciting down of my life. I'd never seen one before. And I screamed my head off and everyone was like, what the fuck is going on? Like, oh, an Australian. And they out of town has seen a squirrel. But everybody really supported my excitement, which is nice. They yes, ended your incitement for a squirrel. They did.

I'm so excited to finally find a hobby that isn't harmful to my body. I have HEDS, which is like Ila's Downloss Syndrome, which is like chronic pain. and you experience a lot of chronic pain. And she says, I'll be donating a portion of my sales to EDS research and using the rest on my end to pay for medical bills, which are a lot. Yeah. Like in and out of hospital, especially being in America, I guess like no everything's covered. Yeah. But Carissa said, I just really wanted to share because I'm really pumped about it.

Good on you, Carissa. That's huge. But yeah, so it's called wobbly stitches. So I think we'll probably put the Etsy thing in the show notes, but good on you for starting the blog. I love that. And also, imagine being like, I've started to. so a month ago. And yeah, I'm pretty,

like, I'm not like, a month, a month. And you're ready to fucking sell something. Yeah, okay. Crazy. I could probably learn a thing or two off cruiser. Take some notes from Cusa. Hey, Ryan, do you have a genre of you love to say it? Yeah, this is a very equally heartwarming one.

That's not. From Mike. Hi, Mike. We called our dog R.B. For short, which stands for rotissory bastard. because when we adopted him, he ate an entire rotissory chicken and I went, oh, the rotissory bastard. And it kind of just stuck.

So now we call the dog R.B. I constantly forgot that when I first went to the vet, I had to put his full name down. His Christian name. So I actually wrote rotissory bastard on the form. Like when I write Bronson Johnson for BJ. Because they kind of don't accept two. letters. They're like, yeah, give us the proper name. And I'm like, it's a dog.

That's just what we get. So I'm like, Bronson Johnson. So anyway, he's got a text from the vet. And it says, hi, Michael. The rotissory bastard is done with his procedure and ready for pickups. Oh, and you don't know whether that's from the vet or just your digital thermometer popping off and going the bloody rotissory bastard's done out of the back of the barbecue. I've just got a text from Sammy's charcoal chicken. I am, I reckon that I could start going by that name because I'll fucking down an entire rotissory chicken. Rotissory bastard. Rotissory bitch.

Were your parents married when you were born? Yeah. Oh, so you're not a rotissory bastard. You're a rotissory like pure bread. RP. RP. Tomorrow on the show, we have normal or nah. Yes.

And I'm getting my own back over, Charles. Tarp of Vic. Oh, yeah. First of all, Charles has been on a date. I haven't told us about your job. Well, yeah, I haven't told you about my job. You haven't told me about your job?

What is it? Go on my LinkedIn. Okay, hang on. Luckily, I unbricked my phone. Because I have to turn off all the apps that I enjoy. Tomorrow, Charles went on a date and he's not getting a second date, and Tony reckons she knows why, because he fucked it up. Okay, I'm on Ryan John Dunn's LinkedIn profile.

Scroll on my job titles. Scroll. There we got it on the screen. I am the first. first to deploy bins on my street. Binfluencer for the Nillambit Council providing a visual... Read it clearly from the...

I'm the first to deploy bins on my street, providing a visual waste management signal that aligns neighbours with the correct weekly disposal stream reduces contamination, promotes sustainable practices, and improves operational efficiency for garbologists. This...

I'll comment on that. Congratulations. You said you were going to comment. when I I couldn't find the post you didn't send me the username of the thing it didn't come up and I'm connected with

every tarper on earth so I never get proper updates because it's like it flows true somebody in Wyoming has been promoted and you're like great

I'm like good for you that is absolutely amazing so at the Nillambique Shire they've hired you oh the thing about it's a gag the thing about us I get it a joke

waste management is not a joke and you know what I fully respect the position. Do you take it seriously? And I think you should respect what I'm doing. And when I announced my new role on LinkedIn, a lot of people are like,

I'm also the bin influencer for my street. And so there's a lot of like, be influencer respect going around. DJ Konski is a been influencer. He would be. Yeah. And as soon as I thought, I'm, of course, yeah.

I've got something to say that I'm ashamed of. Because we brought shame to our family. two weeks ago. We were the bin florencer, and we put the wrong **** out. That was such a good spot to drop a seat bomb. We've put the wrong shit out. And then...

And so everybody's put their green bin out. Oh, the green again, I thought it must have been yellow. No, it must be. Well, they've got their green out. Everyone put their green bin out. Can you go back to the job title, please, Charles? And it was recycling. I want you to read, Tony, because I've got a pretty specific job description.

Well, if I don't fuck around with the Millibik Shire. Read the last five words. Improves operational efficiency for garbologists. How inefficient was your street and the Garbo's that week in your area? Well, I mean, the Garboes were quick because they missed a whole, they didn't have to do a whole street of recycling. No, no, big, suckers. Yep, so I fucked it for everyone.

And our recycling is every second week. And it was just after Christmas. Oh, so you're, the worst. Recycling is full to the fucking bleed. All those boxes and bottles. Wrapping paper. Boxes from gifts. Like packaging.

Yeah. Fuck, dude. Yeah. And I would like to just say I am embarrassed. I'm really, I am ashamed of that. Now, that's not great. As a influencer of the Nillambit Council. Yeah.

Would you like me to contact the, Banniel? Are you baniel? No, I'm not. Darabin. Would you like me to contact the Darabin Council? Because then could I be the Darabin influencer? Yes.

Darab influencer is phenomenal. Thank you. Do you have the track? No, but maybe this is your time. You know how are those people that are like, I used to be fucking shit at this and I broke that thing and it was like, it was the moment where I was like, no. You never make the same mistake twice, kind of energy.

No, it's like, no, I'm. I'm learnt for my mistakes. Now, this is the kick in the butt I needed to take things seriously. And that was a real turning. And it's like, and who knew that 20 years later, she would be one of the greater Darab influencers that ever hit this town? That's so supportive. And I believe in you.

And I'm also going to learn from the best. You're the OG bin influencer. And because you learned from when you got that letter on your bin, you never fucked that up again, did you? That's why I had to bring all that recycling this week. Oh, yeah. So, yeah, when I was at your house, it all makes sense.

It's all adding up. You know how I took one of your protein little smoothie things? Yeah. I shoved the bottle into that box. Oh, okay. Yeah. Just put it in the bin? No, because there was a box there full of starting.

I was all right. I just put that in there and no one would know. Is that recyclable? Yeah, it's just a plastic bottle. Yeah. But I felt like how sneaky because I wasn't put it. I was just a random box of cardboard. I was going to fuck my fuck.

Imagine if that had been a Christmas gift or something. Like it wasn't rubbish and you just put it in the box. Sorry, my brain just thought for a second, why would a protein drink be a Christmas gift? But no, I'd love you to be a Darabin influencer. Should I add it to my LinkedIn? You can't just add it to your LinkedIn. No, sorry, you've got to earn it.

Well, it turns out you can. Two hundred and sixty-five employees. Including me. They are lucky to have you, mate. That's what I'll say. Someone tagged multiple employees. of the New Olympic Shire Council and was like, oh, it looks like you've got a new guy on the team.

And I was like, don't alert them. Yeah, what if you get a fucking cease and cease. I was trying to be funny for a podcast. That's a, congratulations on a new role. Thank you very much. That's wonderful. Yep. Yeah.

Look forward to you updating on LinkedIn as well. Well, you know, I like to keep it fresh. My LinkedIn. Yep. Not the bin, though. Well, yeah, I was ashamed. And this is me, I'm saying I'm embarrassed. Not as embarrassed as Charles, though,

because tomorrow we're all going to find out why he's not getting a second date with that girl. Love you. I actually don't know what it is, but Tony was like, I can't, yeah, so I'm going to find out with you. What? I've got a little hook. Done.

I have the prop to end all props tomorrow. I've said too much. Love you. That's the set. Check your bins. It said it like, say hi to your mom for me, check your bins. Thanks for listening. Check your bins.

Love you, bye.