Toni and Ryan - This Swedish Word Means Hooking Up | LIVE FROM STOCKHOLM

Episode Date: April 8, 2026

Stockholm facts - NORMAL OR NAH Swedish edition - Swedish pick up lines - love ya!!!!!Sign up to Patreon Here - www.patreon.com/ToniandRyanFAQ and T&C's PODCASTAWAY - www.toniandryan.com.au/podcastawayVideo for this EP is available on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Anyone who says Volvo's are the best ride in Sweden obviously hasn't spent the night with Tony Lodge. You like a Volvo. Check up my... Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Hello Sweden. I haven't stood up in 20 years. I really over or underestimated how puffed I would be from running out and jumping up and down all this time. Oh, I can't even get my iPad open. Oh, no. Do we need to get Charles back or we'll hear the other one?

That was my first time. Oh, we forgot to tell everyone it's Thursday today. It's Thursday. Pretend. Yeah. So we've been learning a lot about Sweden. The main thing we have learned is that we've decided to move to Stockholm. So thank you for having us everyone.

Fuck yeah. Now here, because we are learning the history, I've got three facts about Sweden. Two of them are correct and one of them is not. You will probably know the answer. I hope you do. Yeah, but historian Tony Lodge, we sometimes just need to let her figure things out in her own time. Is there like a way where Tony Lodge could sound more Swedish?

Like how could that name, what would that name be? Torni. Torni. Torni. What a owl? I mean. So I'd prefer if you spoke... Tony.

Yeah, thank you. Fact one. Sorry? That's a boy's name. Same, though. Yeah. The name I have is already a boy's name. There's nothing we can do about it.

I'd ask her, but as we know. Thanks. Yeah, my mum's dead. Ah! Fact one. Move along, yeah. Sweden once accidentally declared war on Norway by sending the wrong letter to the wrong king. No.

In 1703, a Swedish trade official named Lars Lindquist sent a strongly worded letter intended for Denmark but accidentally sent it to Norway. They had 4,000 troops ready. It was all about to go down. They found out they said sorry and then they had a very awkward dinner to kind of like, oh, come around for dinner. Oh, like all good dog. Yeah, like when you send the wrong screenshot to the text, you've screenshot it instead of to the person you were going to be. Yeah, yeah. I mean, we've all done it once.

We've all done it once. Well, there's Norway. That one happened. Thank you. A bit local gear. Fact two. Two Swedish university students invented the home refrigerator because they wanted to store food in their dorm room.

Did anyone here go to KTH? Yeah. One of the great engineering schools in the world. I tried to get in, but they said no. Yep. Students from their Bolzar von Platin and Karl Muntas were sick of their food going bad So being engineering students, they didn't complain about it

They just invented their own new machine So Carla Conti invented the refrigerator Yeah, and so every fridge on the planet can be traced back to those two guys at KTH in the dorm room Oh, that's a good one And fact three Sweden's gender equality minister has banana phobia and has banned bananas from every room that she enters.

Her staff emails ahead of every function and every meeting. No trace of bananas in the room. Well, that was an out for me for this year, that bananas were out. Are you the Swedish, maybe you're the Swedish gender equality minister? Torny. Torney, yes. When the story went public, an MP from the opposition, released a statement saying on this issue, we stand united against a common enemy.

Bananas. I mean, they are disgusting. Yeah. So Tony, which... So I'm picking one that's not true. That's not true. Okay. So what are we got?

We've got the fridge. Carla Conti in the fridge. We've got the fridge being invented here by two students in the dorm. The bananas. We've got the banana phobia and we've got Sweden accidentally declaring war on Norway. I reckon that's not true. That feels like a crazy. mix-up and I genuinely don't know what's true but that can't have happened in 19 sorry in 1703

yeah I just don't think they were sending the wrong emails then what so do you know what I mean I so get it yeah I actually got logged out on my email today um because they said well you're not in Sweden yeah and I said why I am yeah and so now I can't get in did you really spend all this money at a meatball place on that didn't have meatballs in Sweden Obviously not. Bank account. And they said, stop shopping at Eka. Oh my God, you know what?

Fuchs. You know that chocolate we got? What's that fucking called? It's got Dame in it, but it's like in the yellow packet. Huh? Maripo. Yeah. Oh my God.

That fucks. I'm going to take so much with that home to tours. Yeah. We bought heaps to take home and it didn't survive the afternoon today. We've all been holling into it. Okay, sorry. So can everyone confirm is this one true? Does the minister have banana phobia?

Yes. Love that and everyone should. Yes. Was the refrigerator invented by those two people here in Sweden? No. Oh. It was. What?

The fake one is what you said, Tony was right. No way. Yeah. Yeah. The refrigerator guys aren't getting the respect they deserve from people in their own town. No one sounded like they knew that. Is that not like common knowledge? She invented them.

Oh, I was like, oh my God, legend among us. Thank you for keeping my bacon so fresh. If I find out later that actually isn't true, I'm going to feel how done. Have you been Wikipediaed? I mean. It's happened before. I went to a very trusty source for these facts. So who's to say?

Um, chat GPT. No, just the Google, like, you know how it gives you like the suggested fill in? It's just that. Is that true? Yeah, probably. Someone Google it now. I'm pretty sure it was right. Um, guys, it's Thursday.

So let's do normal or nah. Yeah. I love normal. Tapa Marlowe has sent my dream. Fika is basically code for sex. Here in Sweden, if someone invite, like not just all Fika, but if someone invites you to their house for FICA, like on a date, it's pretty... It's Fika, okay.

If someone invites you to their house for Fika as a date, they just want to fuck. Is that normal or no? Normal. Normal. Okay, it's a bit of a mix there, yeah. You're a... It's like Netflix and Chill. You're a Fika in the sheets. I just don't want to get fingered after someone's had a cinnamon scroll.

Yeah. Like it's getting sticky in the wrong ways, you know what I mean? I just think that there's too much on your fingers after both. And I don't think that's what I want. I also, I think that having a coffee, so what I've got warm liquid in my belly just like sloshing around, you know? I just don't know that that's the thing for me.

Yeah. Also, Fika, does that happen like at, like morning tea time, right? like 10 or 11 a.m. Anytime. I'm so sorry, Stan corrected. Because we have done like a morning tea and that just doesn't feel like the time to fuck. I don't think I want to get fucked at like 11 a.m.

Yeah. Between meetings. Excuse me, excuse me. Did you say queefing in Italian? Yes, it does. Means quefe? Yes. In Italian.

Fika. Well, guess he's going to Italy later in the year turn. I'm going to Fika at Fika. Okay. Now, Erica Garcia has sent this one through. Is Erica here, by the way? No, glad I asked. She obviously got better plans.

Better offer? Yeah, she's having Fika at her neighbour's house today. Before leaving your apartment in Sweden, you check the peephole to make sure no one else is in the hallway because heaven forbid you would have to speak to someone else in your building. or oh my god stand in the elevator with another human is that normal

that was such a huge yes when we left our Airbnb today there was another guy in the elevator and didn't he hate that he did not like that he I'm not actually I didn't know that you were going to say this but genuinely the guy goes this is no it gets better than that he goes hmm this is strange

Didn't he? In his Swedish accent but not a lick of English but he knew this is strange And I'm just standing there with my backpack like wanting to die This is fine

I'm going to ask one more time Oh no this person isn't here Oh Tapa Sandra Young Hi Sandra Young Oh it is easier Great Hi Sandra Guy

I should have asked I should have asked I should have asked Woo Okay so just keep in mind everyone that Sandra is new welcome welcome so Sandra we're about to pay Sandra out for something oh no but because she didn't grow up here she welcome moved here with her son and puts the son in daycare and they go great it's nap time

put that little fucker outside and obviously you go well no it's cold the baby's not going to sleep outside and the person the daycare goes oh don't worry about it we send someone out to keep an eye on now this sounds fucking strange for everyone listening and watching today around the world, but in Sweden, is that normal? Yes. Normal? But also fucked. Do you reckon it's fucked?

I just, if you put a baby out, so I have heard of this and I've seen videos of it online and stuff of like the stroller covered in snow, which is so adorable, apparently it's really good for their breathing and stuff. In Australia, if you did that, I would just be so scared someone was going to steal your baby. But do you know what I mean? Like, I just would be so stressed about the baby. but if it's normal Well

If you think about it When you sleep Do you sleep better When it's cold or hot? Do I sleep better When my baby's not being stolen Behind a locked door? This is a good question though

Do you sleep better when it's cold or hot? I always sleep better when it's cold Yeah same Because I love getting snuggled in Yeah Normally inside Yeah Thanks for asking though

You know that is a fair question It is normally inside Though I did go camping about a year ago Yeah Um, yeah, at the, yes, yeah, cold. At the waffle place we went to on Wednesday, there was a row of prams with a row of babies. And I think the reason Tony is concerned that someone might steal them is because she nearly stole them. Because I, because I thought about it.

Yeah. It seems like a natural response. Yeah. Yeah. And the paternity leave here is just amazing. Is it true? You guys have really got it sorted out. Yeah.

400 days leave or something. Is that right? 480. Who's counting? Yeah. So if we popped out... 480, that's over a year. If you and I popped out 10, that's 4,000 days off, mate.

I was about to say, is that over a year off here as well? Like, time's on chat? No, I think the years are the same length, babe. Yeah. Oh, wow, she's a stupid in person. She's on the podcast. That's awesome. I don't know who sent this in, but they said,

in Sweden we do Lil Luda. which means little Saturday, which basically means Swedes go out on Wednesday night and get fucked up because it's Little Saturday. People are happy about that. Yep. I went out for a little Lou Doug on Wednesday

that round place. Oh, with Vicki, your friend. Yep, and came back. Vicky from Montmorenancy. Don't anyone fucking speak. Vicki's here. Hello. Finally, Lark Biga, Johanssen.

Sorry if I fucked your name up. Tarko Fridays is a national tradition here in Sweden. Tarko Friday? It doesn't even rhyme. I know. Isn't that upsetting? But when I think Sweden, I think Mexican delight. How do you say Friday in Swedish?

Oh, fuck, I didn't get that. What letter does it start with? Oh. Oh, Frightag. Oh, so like same as German. Got you. Okay. Oh, fuck, sorry.

Nah, I take that back, actually. What is the word Tarko? How do you say that in Swedish? It's the same. Sorry, I'm trying to find some reasoning because Tarko Tuesday sounds better, obviously. No, okay. Sorry.

Remember when Ryan hit that chandelier before? Hey, people watching don't know about that shit. Ryan smashed a chandelier before. It's just an innocent throwing of some toilet paper into a crowd of people in Sweden. I accidentally hit the one chandelier in the top of the thing. In a 3,000-year-old venue. Now, obviously, today is a Thursday episode, but spoiler alert, we may have filmed this on a Friday. Frightog.

And it's Taco Friday. So, Tony, show them your taco. Let's celebrate. All right. Yeah, yeah. All right, a massive shout-out to a few of our champion tarvers from over at our Patreon. You can check it out any time you like. This is the hard sell in person, which is good.

Raise your hand if you're not a champion tarpa. Sucker? No. Marietta Kozarenko. Thank you, Marietta. Hardly know you. Are they here? Oh, just supportive.

Just energetic, yeah. I love that for us. We should move here. I'm coming. Well. Oh, sorry. Taco Friday, bitch, yeah. Okay.

Monica, Elizabeth, good on your Monica. Sylvie LeBlanc. Matt LeBlanc's sister. From Friends. That TV show, Friends. What's that called here? Great. Cat Richards, good on your cat.

Meow. Margaret Heron. Good on you, Margaret. Parch. Ibn Farland. Thanks, Eben. Isabel. Good on you, Isabel. Sharnie Hayden.

Holly Rand. Cecil Furseth. And a swarm of bees. A whole swarm. You don't see that every day. Someone commented the other day, one of the names going across the screen was the Tony and Ryan Clips channel on YouTube. Oh, Charles. Charles, pay for your own.

Yeah, stop gifting subscription or come up with better fake names. If you are a champion TARPA each month you have an opportunity to, in 25 words or less, tell us why you want to come to Fiji with us. So if anyone would like to travel from some... Everyone just gasped. Yeah. Don't you listen. I would love... Are we doing a really bad job of our own marketing?

Yeah, I would love some... Acting! Acting. Acting. You know what? I take that back. That's redacted from me. I would love someone from this room to join us in Fiji.

So join us on Patreon. We would love to fucking see you there. Sorry for coffee. I've been doing some research about the dating scene here in Stockholm. Everything I go at home, mate? It's so. Yeah. Well, I'm hearing it's so.

Does it? Oh, my gosh, I don't hear that. Invite someone over for Fika. Yeah. That's not dating. That's not dating. No, so true. That's fuck.

Oh. Stockholm has more single person households than anywhere else on earth. It is the single capital of the world. Oh. Although a lot of it is by choice, I believe, but there's still a lot of single people in town. That's interesting because isn't it like the happiest city on earth? Like, should we be learning something from that? Do you know what I mean?

Like the maths on that? Happiness. Yeah, like they can't all exist together, I guess. Back in 2022, 27% of single Swedes were on the apps, on the Tinder or the hinge or whatever the go-to is. But this year only... Grindr, yes. We're an equal opportunity fucking podcast, okay? And we hate bananas.

Well, some apps like them. Yeah, and that's okay as well. So 27% of people using the apps in 2022. Now it's only 18% because Sweden wants to meet in person again. They want to do it old school. Meet cute. Yes. Meat cute.

Now because Tony and I are just so helpful, we thought we would provide some Sweden and Stockholm specific pickup lines that you might want to. Yeah. That you might want to try out. Maybe there's a few that might try it out on each other here later today. But here are pick-up lines you can use in Sweden. Also, Tony, we don't know each other's, but Tony before, can I say exactly what you said? Yeah.

Tony said, after my first one, mine are so fucked, if you've got any similar, I'll give you $1,000. To the charity of your choice, I said. And then I said, I'm the charity of my choice. So here we fucking go. Can you be the charity? Yep Ikea Tony will go first

Ikea I hardly know After some Fika How about I sneaker my dick in your ass We don't have any of the same Oh I can't wait to feast on that smorgas board Yeah

I googled it Yeah Most plants come from a seed, but I'd like to come in a swede. Don't we all? The great thing is that here in Sweden they've got amazing parenting support, so whatever happens happens, I guess. Hey, babe, we want to share those 400 days of parental leave. Oh, should I get a condom?

400 days. I'd love a holiday, actually. I'm going to Fiji with this podcast I actually need some paid time off The food and drink is great in Stockholm And later on would you like to taste my stock foam I don't like that Foam

Yeah Foam I've been running earlier Foam I'd get that checked at one of the wonderful doctor here in Sweden. Girl, are you sir to mom?

Because you're cool. Apparently a cool neighborhood here. Call me IKEA furniture because I also like to come in a box. Yes, yes. Did you know that Pippi Longstocking was Swedish? No. Because I'd love to give you a Pippi Long cocky.

Is she actually Swedish? Everyone's like, yeah she is And she would too We're in the Nordic region Girl, do you want to gnaw on this dick Nordic? I hope not Did you want a taste of my meatballs

Don't go too far You'll get some Lingenberry jam I just had a colonoscopy So Unlike IKEA I will do the screwing And this is actually my last one Did you know that Sweden

has over 95,000 lakes. Well, there's about to be one more wet area. I've got one more here, which I feel like we... No, I love it. Anyone who says volvos are the best ride in Sweden obviously hasn't spent the night with Tony Lodge. You like a Volvo? Check up my vulva.

What sort of Volvo you got? Oh, the X-C-90. What colours yours? Pink. Just a random question. Question. Right, question. Shasha Loddalen said,

Slut station isn't what you think it is. My house. That's all that she said. Before anyone, if you would hazard a guess, what would you assume a Slut station? She lives there. Definitely. Sometimes.

Sometimes. For those of you playing along at home, someone just had a conipion in the front row. Yeah. Well, but I think it is. I mean, my brain is logical, unfortunately, in this situation. I'm guessing it's like a train station. Oh, wow. Why do you think that?

Slut station. Yeah. It's like sleut or something. So what exactly is the answer? End of the line. Last call, everyone. There's got to be one last. Yeah. When the lights come on to the nightclub at 3 a.m.

They're trying to kick you out and you go, oh, end of the line. I guess it's you. Was my pronunciation on sleut, right? Fuck, yeah. One of Tony's goals for 2026 was to be a hot salute. And it's really paying off. That's amazing. Tony, what do you love to see?

I've got to you love to see it here. Summer Mess. is on Patreon. Campbell Atkinson, hi Campbell. He says, Hey Tony and Ryan, I'm not a tapper, but my wife, Jessica, is. She can't eat gluten just like Ryan.

It was, she loves the cheeky lemon, lemon bitters. It was the first drink they had together. And she loves wedges every two and a half years or so. Campbell says, I work FIFO, like works away. So unfortunately, he's away two weeks at a time. But a big part of how she gets through is by listening to the pod. And whenever they chat, on the phone, she'll go, oh, and Tony and Ryan were chatting about Blah today, and she'll tell

him all about the pod. Jessica is actually turning 30 tomorrow. Oh, ooh! And I thought it would be really fun if we all wished Jessica a happy birthday. Okay. And I googled this, so I'm about to fuck it up. Gratis par fordels, Saddagen. Woo!

Is that, was that okay? Is that close? I'm so impressed. That's okay. So maybe we could all do a big that to Jessica. Ready? Amazing. Thank you.

Happy birthday, Jessica. Where's Jessica from? Australia. Right. She can Google that later. What did they all yell at me? We called her a sleut station. An anonymous tap.

I said, please leave my name out of this. You love to see it. Oh. Two of the most incompetent and annoying boobs in my world. workplace have both quit in the last two months. Fucking love to see that. And I am so happy about it. I'm not even fucking worried about the changes in workload.

Best of luck with your future endeavids, you fuckheads. Yes. You love to see it. Well, that's amazing. That's amazing. Well, that's the end of the show. Thank you so much for listening, for everyone around the world,

but also for our live studio audience. We are going to move to Sweden, Stockholm one day. Yeah. It is on our list. Sorry if anyone got any glass on them for when I smashed that chandelier earlier. I'm really sorry. Yeah. Sorry for coffee. And happy Taco Friday. Yay. Love you. Bye.